Paper Mario X 2: The Thousand Year Door
by Child at Heart Forever
Summary: When Peach invites the gang for a vacation in Rogueport, it quickly goes bad with the kidnapping of ZAP, an evil plot working in the shadows, and the separation of the team! With only Link to assist him, Mario sets out to save the girls, get his friends back together, and set things right!
1. Peachy Welcome, Rogue Goodbye

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Prologue: Peachy Welcome, Rogue Good-Bye

_Ahem! Today…I'm going to tell you the story of the Thousand-Year Door. _

_An awfully long time ago…in a strange and far-off land, a big and bustling town thrived. It was a town where all people lived very happy lives, and it was said that the town was very prosperous. _

_But one day…tragedy befell this blessed place. _

_A great cataclysm struck the town and its people. Darkness filled the skies, and the earth roared and shook. It was as if the very world had come to a violent end…and in but a single night…the town sank into the depths of the earth…_

_Many moons rose and set…Stories of the town passed into the pages of fairytales…and when the town's site no longer held any relics of its past…people gathered at that spot and built a new town. _

_But word soon spread among the people who moved in…that an ancient city lay deep underground and that magnificent treasure rested there. _

_Indeed…_

_This is the tale of the fabled treasure of Rogueport… and though what really happened may have been a bit…twisted- or crossed over, I should say…_

…_The tale of the quest for the legendary treasure and the Thousand-Year Door…starts here._

_. . ._

"Toadsworth, I am a _princess_! I can handle myself!" Princess Peach snapped to her Toad guardian.

"I understand you're a princess, but what if Bowser shows up and kidnaps you once again, dear?" Toadsworth replied bluntly. Peach pouted.

"My friends are arriving here any moment, and I don't want someone being glued to my side! For once, I'd like to be in charge of myself…" Peach complained.

Before Toadsworth could remark, a small little ship arrived into the dock of the town known as Rogueport. Peach became unexpectedly giddy while Toadsworth scanned the boat for any sign of misconception. However, he found none, and instead became appalled at the six people who stepped out, apparently having been incredibly squashed during the ride.

"We should have just teleported!"

"It would have been easier!"

"It didn't fit the vacationing spirit…"

"Oh, Link…"

"C'mon! It would ruin the fun if we just simply teleported to that one place you wanted to go so much!"

Peach interrupted the sudden buzz of conversation by spreading out her arms and greeting the group cheerily. "Hello everyone! It's been so long!"

One of the females stepped forward, looking just as regal and excited as Peach. "Peach! Oh, it has been awhile! Hey…is that a new dress and hairstyle? You look different…"

"Why, yes! Thank you for noticing! You've had a make-over too!" giggled Peach. She ran up to Zelda and gave her a hug, which was instantaneously returned.

"Save room for me!" a pink hedgehog called, joining in the group hug.

"Amy…Zelda…I missed you so much! Things went right back to normal after you guys left!" Peach admitted, pulling her head out of the hug.

"If only that would happen to us…" Zelda scoffed.

"Don't say that! You don't love our life of exploring and adventuring?" Link asked, putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Well-"

"Um, if I may ask, who are all you folk?" Toadsworth input. Link took off his long green cap and bowed.

"I am known as Link, Hero of Time and adventurer extraordinaire!"

"He talks big, but his brain sure isn't!" smirked an orange-suited woman, who had been silent and simply watched all the commotion. Link scowled and whirled around to face her.

"Oh, like you have a fancy title Samus?"

"Yes, I am Samus, the greatest bounty hunter alive! Better than "extraordinaire!"

"Shut it…"

A blue hedgehog was leaning against the boat the entire time, chuckling at all the events unfolding.

"You all know I'm better than _all_ of you, right? After all, I **AM** Sonic the Hedgehog…"

"I'M KIRBY!" a pink puff shouted, spinning like a top on the toe of his shoe. Toadsworth raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you are fit to "hang" and "chill" with such folk, princess?"

Peach fumed. "Yes! They are some of my best friends! How can you be so…judging?"

"Fine…but now I'll have to tag along to make sure they are as "awesome" as you say!"

Peach smacked her head as everyone shivered. "Toadsworth…may I have a moment to do…something?"

"Like what?"

"…it's a girl's business…"

"Oh…Uh, of course your highness…"

Peach curtseyed and winked at her pals. She skipped away, up to some steps that led to the main town square. After letting her be for a few minutes, Toadsworth tried to instigate Peach's friends. Eventually, they got fed up after being asked what they would do if they were locked in a bathroom and took action.

"It's not like we're not enjoying this talk, but…there's a place we got to be…" Zelda stated calmly, trying to take a gentle approach.

"Who cares? I'm not asking for permission. See ya!" Sonic huffed, speeding away. Amy called after him, chasing her man. As Zelda continued to distract Toadsworth with her small talk, Link, Samus, and Kirby ran away. Toadsworth noticed they were leaving and reached his hand out to stop them, but they were long gone. He sighed, turned back to Zelda, only to find _she_ was gone.

"Oh, poppycock! How the deuce did they vanish so quickly? !" he exasperated. "I do hope they don't rustle up a round of trouble…"

Toadsworth hobbled toward the main square of Rogueport as fast as his old legs would carry him, but unfortunately, it just wouldn't be quick enough.

. . .

"You're welcome!" Zelda hissed, appearing next to the group after teleporting. They had all gathered in Rogueport's main square, just in front of the noose.

"Finally! I have a minute without Toadsworth watching over me! He's so paranoid!" Peach moaned, narrowing her eyes and folding her arms.

"We've noticed…" Samus remarked, removing her helmet to scratch her ear.

"I come all the way here on a holiday…only to be stuck with Toadsworth! It's so stifling!"

"What possessed you to schedule a holiday in a town like this?" sniffed Zelda, noting every detail wrong with the city.

"…and why is that toad so overprotective? Doesn't he trust you?" Amy wondered.

"Probably because I'm royalty and I get kidnapped so much. Once in a while I'd like the chance to look around on my own and see what I want. But…now that I'm doing it all, all I see is that this town has a very…umm…distinct flavor…"

"I told you!" sang Zelda.

"_Know-it-all_…" whispered Kirby. Zelda turned, hand suddenly blazed in flames.

"Ahem, _what_ was that?"

"Nothing! I swear!"

Kirby sweat dropped as Amy gently told Zelda to calm down.

"oh, Missies, Missies…" an old voice called. Link, Sonic, and Kirby knew she didn't mean them and proceeded to walk away to find a map to fully plan their vacation. At first, Samus thought that the old woman was beckoning to her as well, but she had second thoughts and joined the guys.

"Do you mean…us?" Peach, Zelda, and Amy asked. They were suddenly memorized and forgot about everyone else to go up to a cloaked woman's store.

"Yes, you, Missies! Won't you buy something? I have a wide assortment of knickknacks and doodads!" she explained.

"Oh! Well…um…" Peach pondered, wondering whether she should buy something or not. She looked over to Amy who had invested in some jewels for her headband and Zelda had found a new set of earrings and paid for them by hurling a green Rupee in the woman's direction. Peach wondered if coming to the store was such a good idea until she spotted something of interest.

"Well that's a pretty box! What's inside it?" she asked.

"What box?"

"I think she means that one…"

"NO! The small red one!"

"Yeah Amy, your box is a sickly green! How is _that_ pretty?"

"Just a simple statement..."

The woman let out a small chuckle and picked up the small red box trimmed with gold. "It's said that this box hold a map that shows where a legendary treasure sleeps…but the box has a magic lock on it that will only open for a noble and pure heart. As you can see…if won't budge if one such as myself touches it…"

She demonstrated, proving that the box wouldn't open. All three girls gasped in awe.

"I know. If the box will open for you, Missies, then you may have whatever is inside. I am sure that whatever is in there would be of no use to someone like me…so, Missy, take this box in your hands and see what happens…"

Zelda and Amy looked at Peach. Peach looked skeptical. "Umm…all right. What's the harm?"

She smiled and took the box. "I'll try to open it."

"Can we help, Peach?" Amy asked.

"Sure, if you think your heart's pure…"

"Of course my heart is pure!" Zelda stated, quickly placing her hand on the box. Amy added hers, and all together the girls lifted the box upward. They gasped in surprise; the box was _glowing_ for crying out loud!

Little did they know that they were opening up something far worse than a simple disaster…

. . .

"Sweet! It was so nice of that man to give us this map!" Kirby said, jumping down from a roof in the east side of town.

"It was probably part of the black market or something…" Samus snorted.

"So? It's still a map!" Sonic confirmed, trying to get a peek of the paper. Link was currently holding it, looking at it up and down.

"Apparently, Rogueport is surrounded by all kinds of amazing places! Petalburg, Glitzville, Keehaul key…" Link trailed, listing off the places as he glanced across them.

"Look at Poshley Heights!" Samus gasped, eyeing the posh town- though secretly, she was much more interested in the train. Sonic jumped on her back and glanced over her shoulder to get a look as well.

"Wow, that place does look pretty impressive. A little too uptight for me though."

Kirby noticed one particular section of the map that brought back memories.

"Are we going to go to them all?" Link wondered.

"Are you kidding? With all the fun we'll have at Poshley Heights, we won't have time for anywhere else!" Samus cackled madly. She slightly gripped the map, letting everyone know she wanted it. Sonic yelped as he was flung off her back, landing harshly on the cobblestone ground.

"H-Hey! I don't know how you plan to buy one ticket for that snooty train, let alone six more!" Sonic snapped. "We should go somewhere free, and is a lot of fun!"

He now took the other half of the map, tugging it away from Samus.

"There's too much action around these places!" Kirby huffed, his voice getting a bit stingy. "We should settle with somewhere calm and eerily quiet…"

He gently placed a small hand on what was available of the map.

"Um…you guys?" Link asked, noticing the suddenly rising tensions. "We promised to go on vacation _together_!"

No one heard him, for they were still going at it with the poor map as the inconsolable victim.

"Calm and quiet? Kirby, I'd DIE if I stepped foot in such a place!" Sonic growled. Samus managed to wrestle the map out of everyone else's hands.

"Wait! I've got an idea! Why don't we just split up? That way, we can go wherever we want to without any of these arguments!"

"What!" yelped Link.

"I'd hate to agree with you Sam, but you might be right...except _we_ stick together!" Sonic muttered. Link was so glad someone was thinking straight. He stayed on the sidelines, watching the friendship get tattered and torn like the defenseless map.

"Not this time! I want to do things my way, and if separation is the only way, then I'm all for it!" Samus decided.

"No! There's always more than one way!" Link assured, growing wearier by the second.

"Yeah, yeah if that's the way you want it to be, then I'm game too!" Kirby confirmed, ignoring Link. They all grabbed the map once again and prepared to pull it into pieces, each grabbing the place they wanted to go. Link yelled at them to stop, unintentionally grabbing the bottom part of the map. At this moment, Samus, Kirby, and Sonic had yanked as hard as they could.

"Guys! This is ridiculous! You're going to-"

Rip.

Sonic, Kirby, and Samus all flew into different directions, each with a piece of the map in their hands. Link was the only one still standing, also with some of the map. The other three were pretty satisfied.

"…so that's really how it's going to be, is it?" Sonic asked quietly, his piece of the map becoming clenched within his fist.

"Well, _I'm_ as good as gone!" Kirby stated, a bit in a hushed tone. He couldn't believe he was going through with this!

"I'm glad you see it my way!" Samus scoffed, turning away and heading west. "Ever since you three _kidnapped_ me, I've hardly had any time to enjoy things by myself! It's about time I get what I deserve!"

She continued walking away, leaving a shocked Link, distorted Sonic, and Kirby looking like he was about to cry. He shook it off and gritted his teeth at the friend walking away.

"I hope you have a good time, robot!" Kirby griped as he retreated back east.

"I hope you _don't_!"

"I hope you break your canon!"

"I'll break it trying to break **you**!"

They growled while storming away. Link looked pleadingly to Sonic who had his fists balled up and a snarl on his face. He hated seeing the team split up just as much as Link did.

"Are you leaving too?" Link asked lifeless.

"You know originally I wouldn't but…what if Samus is right? Maybe we all hang out way too much…and we need to be away from each other for a while…" Sonic stuttered. "It makes me so frustrated thinking that this is a good idea! Augh! I don't want to end up taking my anger out on you. Grr…I can't believe I let myself get so riled up on something so_ stupid_! Take a breath Sonic…"

Link hung his head. "I guess I understand…"

Sonic attempted to smile. "Hey…maybe you'll find somewhere you want to go."

"Maybe. I doubt it."

"Who knows? But…see you later, Link" Sonic waved and ran off so fast that Link didn't even remember what direction he headed off in.

And for a few striking moments, Link was alone. Everyone had dispersed so quickly…but was it really true that they spent too much time together? Link always assumed that they were like a discombobulated family- a little bit crazy, but they'd do anything for each other…

Just when he was about to head back to the girls, he inconveniently heard a pained cry, and he instantly snapped to attention.

"LINK!"

"Zelda?" Link rushed back to the main square, only to find that all three of the girls weren't where they left them. "Oh, no…"

He frantically whipped his head in many directions, searching for a trace of where Team ZAP could have scampered off to, but the longer he came across nothing, Link was slowly beginning to fear the worst.

They had most likely been kidnapped.

Link found himself running into every part of Rogueport that he could access, calling out the girls' names along with the ones of his friends. He received no response from anyone, and he was beginning to enter a whole new level of panic.

"Please!" Link pleaded, darting from one person to the next and frantically asking questions. Almost every time he was shrugged away by the lowlifes of Rogueport, but a few of them heard his cries. "Has anyone seen a trio of girls? Does anyone know what happened to them?"

A few of the civilians of Rogueport reported that three girls headed to Professor Frankly's House, headed back to the Main Square to grab something to eat, and were abducted by hideous looking people. However, none knew of their fate. Link smiled weakly, and tried to regain his composure. His hands started to shake, barely holding onto his part of the map.

"Great. My friends have split, and now the girls are possibly kidnapped! …if only Mario was here. He'd know what to do…he always knows what to do…" He sighed, walked over to the noose, sat down and stared at the rest of the map. It was like all of his friends- torn apart.


	2. Mario's Map to Memories

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 1: Mario's Map to Memories

In the little cottage way out in the woods, a Parakoopa flew downward to the mailbox. He slipped a letter in the box, and sighed.

"MAIL CALL!" Parakarry, who he was better known as, called out. He fluttered away as Luigi trotted out again. As usual, he was hoping for some fan mail, but was disappointed when it was just another letter for Mario. He sighed.

"Another sign of adventure for Mario…I'm sure I'll get something exciting eventually…" Luigi told himself. When he reentered the house, he scanned the letter.

"Hey, Bro.! Check it out! A letter from Princess Peach arrived for you!" Luigi explained. Mario entered anxiously from the next room, and Luigi started to read it aloud, only because he was curious too.

_Hello there Mario! I am now on holiday, traveling in the Mushroom Kingdom. In my travels, I came into possession of a mystical map…a treasure map actually…It was inside an old box I got from a merchant in a town called Rogueport. But since it would be too difficult to find the treasure all by myself…and too boring for our other world friends to come along without you…I thought you could help me hunt for it! You will, of course, won't you? I've included the map with this letter so please bring it with you when you come. We'll all meet you at Rogueport. (That means you MUST come!)_

_Peach_

"What do you know? It's true! There's a weathered old map in here with the letter. Check it out!" Luigi gaped. Mario almost didn't hear him. He was too busy thinking about his old friends…way back in the day…

* * *

There were folks from all over the Mushroom Kingdom, and even more from other worlds. A small group in the corner eyed Mario being screamed at by Fan Toads. They definitely weren't from the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario noticed them too, pushing through a crowd of Waddle-Dees to get to them.

"Hey there Mario!" a tall man waved. He was clothed in a green tunic with a green cap and brown boots to match.

Mario looked around, and then pointed to himself. A pink puffball laughed. "Of course we know who you are silly! You're, like, all world famous!"

"I bet you are confused…" a person in a Power suit smirked, plainly a woman.

"We're from the other worlds! I'm Sonic: Sonic the Hedgehog! That's Link, Hero of Time and stuff, Kirby, and Samus is the robot woman," the blue hedgehog explained.

Samus glared at him and he shrugged. Mario nodded in awe. He never believed he would get to meet the heroes from some of the other worlds. In fact, he thought they didn't even exist! Other worlds were just rumors, after all...

...

Mario turned, and Link crawled out of the leafy nightmare.

"Good gravy! It's Elfonzo!" Goompa gasped.

"What the- NO! I told you, I'm LINK!" the green clothed hero grumbled. He turned his attention away from the Goomba and onto Mario. "Hey…I feel like I know you…don't know how, I've never met you!" Mario's jaw dropped. How could anyone forget who Mario was?

"I'm glad you took care of that brat though. He thinks he's so tough…amateur…so, what's your name?" Link wondered. Mario, still awestruck, told him, and Link nodded.

......

"Kirby! Is Sonic here?" she asked.

Kirby stopped dancing to sigh. "He was. As Kolorado and his gang were leading me back to the site, Sonic raced by me without even noticing me. We turned around to look at him, only to see him struggling to keep going. He disappeared over the horizon. Kolorado said he probably would dehydrate from the heat, lack of water, and running…"

Link kicked the sand and roared. "We missed him again! God, why does he have to keep moving so much?"

Kirby waddled over and tried to comfort Link. "We know Sonic: he's probably out of the desert by now!"

"You're right…but I can't help but worry…"

"Hey! I'll help you guys find him! But right now, we should head to the site!" Kirby exclaimed. Mario smiled. Another other world friend had joined.

......

The sound was getting louder when they entered the next area. Link and Kirby had a heart attack.

"THERE'S SAMUS!" Link screamed.

Everyone turned at the sound of her name and saw Link was right. She was in the clutches of a fat Shy Guy with an apron on. He was playing with Samus like she as a toy.

"Let me go!" she cried.

"No! You're my present! You're the most fun action figure I've ever had!" he bellowed.

"She's not an action figure! She's a figure of action though…" Kirby interrupted.

"Kirby? Link?" Samus asked, surprised.

"What in the world-"

"I fell in this box from God-knows-where and now this chump thinks I'm a toy and had been shaking me around ever since!"

Link was guffawed. "Oh yeah! You don't remember…"

"Don't remember what?"

"We all teamed up together and tried to take down the invincible Bowser, but he wiped our memory of that hour and scattered us. You must have ended up here…" Kirby explained.

"What are you talking abo-ouch! Memories…flooding…ugh. Okay, you win this round, but now can you help me so I can help you?"

Everyone's focus snapped to the full picture. The fat guy was making Samus walk weird, then pushed a button on her back to activate her canon.

"Hey! Quit wasting my projectiles!" Samus snapped.

"Oh! It has a catchphrase!"

Link smacked his head while Kirby groaned loudly. Samus made a noise to tell them to hurry up.

......

"oh…ohhhh mmmmmm, ohhhhh!!!" Gourmet moaned. It was silent for a few moments, but then it turned into an explosion. "DELICIOUS!!!!!!!" The scene before gourmet began to spin. "This is lip-smacking good!" Next thing they knew, he was bouncing off the walls, running on the ceiling (which made him drop Samus, but Link caught her. He fell from the weight of her suit), practically flew down from the ceiling, danced behind everyone, sprung into the air with a cry of yum…and never came back down.

"What a spaz…worse than Kooper…" Kirby murmured. Kooper heard him though.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?!?!"

Before they could lunge at each other's throats, Link broke the peace by introducing Samus to everyone.

"It's about time you guys found me…" Samus stated. "I'll join whatever little quest you guys are going on…for now."

.......

"LINK!" a familiar voice called. Link's head snapped up, and there was Sonic, battered, bruised, and weak, swinging perfectly above the lava. He tried to break the vine, but then suddenly fell limp from all his pain. Sonic's usually bright green eyes were dull with extreme fear and lost hope. Very rare for Sonic.

"Don't worry! We're all coming to save you!" Link shouted to him.

"HURRY!" was the reply. "I…can't break free myself!"

Samus and Kirby raced in and gaped when they saw Sonic dangling.

"SONIC!" they cried at the same time.

"BLECK HYUCK HYUCK YUCK! YOU MADE IT, MARIO!" Lava cackled. "TOO BAD YOUR FRIEND WON'T…"

"YOU LET HIM GO!" growled Link furiously. Everyone took a step back. Sonic jolted uncomfortably in the vine that encased him. Lava shook his head and turned back to Mario.

"YOU GUYS…BAD GUYS! BAD GUYS COME TO STEAL STAR SPIRIT! BAD GUYS WHO COME TO STEAL STAR SPIRIT GET HURT! WE DON'T LET IT HAPPEN! NO!"

Link ignored his unimportant info to gawk at Sonic. His blueness was slightly darker and covered in scrapes, bruises, and dark spots. Link didn't want to guess he was used like a piñata so he couldn't escape.

"WE TRAP STAR SPIRIT AND FRIEND! WE GET VOLCANO! GOOD DEAL!"

"-but bad idea!" Samus coughed, pointing her Ultra Canon at the fiend.

"WE MAKE THINGS HOT FOR YOU! WE BEAT YOU MARIO!" Lava chortled, and entered battle. "BUT, BEFORE WE BEGIN, LET'S HAVE OUR BUDDY DROP IN!"

The vine around Sonic suddenly let go, and Sonic began to plummet toward his flaming death.

"HELP ME!!!" he screamed. Link, Samus, Kirby, Bow, Bombette, Mario, Kooper, Sushie, Parakarry, and even Goombario suddenly lunged forward to try and catch Sonic, but they ended up in a heap and Lava caught him in his mouth. Sonic cried out with pain, and Lava began to furiously shake his head around. Just before he let go to fling Sonic into distant lava, Link reacted fast and tossed Bombette into its head, causing him to release Sonic. Link sprung up and Sonic landed in his arms. The fall totally put Sonic in a state of shock, but he managed to slightly open his eyes.

"Urgh…that nearly burned me! In two ways!" chuckled Sonic.

"Heh…I'm just glad you are okay. We'll talk later! Right now we have a jerk to beat!"

"Anyone have a weed hacker? A big one?" asked Kirby.

.....

Samus walked up to him and shook his hand.

"Mario…you're a pretty cool guy! Under the hat and mustache is a pretty tough fighter, especially one that can hang with me all that time!" Samus chuckled. Mario chuckled too. "I hope to see you again! Maybe next time I won't be so reckless…"

The other three cackled and she stared them down until they begged for forgiveness.

"Bye Mario!" Samus called, lighting up her cannon for the final time. She aimed it at the ground, causing the clash to strike a bright white, followed by a cloud of gray smoke. When it settled, Samus was gone. Kirby waddled up to Mario next.

"So Mario! What are you going to do without me?" he asked.

Mario said probably save Peach again. Peach made a face behind him.

"Yeah, at least you HAVE things to do…hey! Maybe one day we can figure out how you can teleport so you can go on an adventure with us? How's that sound?"

Mario: :)

"Sweet. Well-" he pulled out his Warp Star and tucked it under his small arm. "Looks like I'm leaving next. Oh! One more thing!"

He reached on his tippy toes to whisper in the red hero's ear. "Keep an eye on Bow for me, okay?"

Mario nodded.

"With that, I'm out! Later!" Kirby jumped on his Warp Star, did a 360, then a half-pipe while waving at Mario and blasted off into the sky, disappearing in a little white spark. Kirby had left. Mario stared into the sky, wondering how they managed to do that. Hey, Kirby had said Mario could teleport if he wanted to; he just needed to find out how. As he drifted in thought about it, Sonic sped next to him so fast; his hat almost blew off with the aftermath.

"Sorry about that." Sonic stated, twisting the red cap back in its original position. "I didn't mean to make such a fast good-bye."

Mario gave a thumbs up. Sonic returned the favor with a smile.

"Hey…thanks for saving my life man. I know Link went a little crazy, but he knows I'm usually the one to save people, never the other way around. He was just afraid of how I would react. Here I am now!" Sonic spread his arms wide and laughed. "A few places were a little dull, but some of them really got my blood pumping! I'll totally come back for sure!"

He laughed his small laugh while flashing a peace sign to Mario. "I know I always say this, but we should do this again sometime! See ya next time! Hup!" Sonic jumped in place, curled into a rapidly spinning ball, going faster and faster as if he was running. "Pretty cool, huh?" Soon, he was going so fast he left in the blink of an eye. Now Sonic had gone home.

"Heh heh…no matter what Sonic says, his good-byes are always quick…" Link chuckled from the side. Mario turned his head to agree. Link walked next to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "I ought to thank you. You've have to put up with me since the very beginning! Don't say we were no trouble, because we were. I'd hate to admit it, but I agree that SOME of my jokes are bad…not all of them, just some!"

They shared a laugh. "Anyway, in all that time, I managed to gain a friend. Either way, I can give you a promise on my Tri-force we will see you again, no matter what it takes! You're part of the group now, remember that. When we come back, I hope you'll remember that and join in. Kirby did say you have a way to teleport. Perhaps when we return you'll figure it out so we can travel together! You know, with the group!"

Mario nodded and said he'd look forward to it. Link grabbed his sword. "Mario…next to Sonic, you're my best friend. You've always been there; you never got too mad, and took charge when the time called… Kirby's just a close friend, but sometimes he gets into his own world so much it makes me insane!"

Mario put his hand to his head and shook it. Link laughed and pulled the sword out of the sleeve. "I do that when I think about it too. Samus…pah, you know how she is. Bold. She always has the opposite opinion of you, but that keeps you balanced out. Though, most of the time she's usually right…and Sonic's just downright awesome! Sorry Mario, I've known him a bit longer and had more time to get to know him than me with you…"

The plumber agreed again. "so…" he yanked his sword completely out. "Good-bye, my friend!" He started to raise his sword above his head. "Until we meet again soon!" In an instant, Link brought the sword down and did a 360 slice over and over again. He was spinning like a top on the toe of his boot, sword lashed out in front of him. Mario told him good-bye, and he could've sworn Link winked at him. Soon, with one last circle, Link was gone too. Mario sniffled a little bit, though he was too manly to cry, unlike Link with Bombette. Peach came to his side and led him up onto his porch, where the two stared into the star filled sky, wishing their friends happy travels.

Mario knew they'd come back. Link had promised.

* * *

His long daydream was interrupted by Luigi shaking a piece of paper in his face; Mario angrily snatched it and looked it over. It was a very old map, with parts of the actually map missing. How odd…

Therefore, Mario wasted no time in taking off, eager to go on this new adventure. After all, Link, Sonic, Kirby, and Samus were going to be there!


	3. Someone Is Crumpled

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 2: Someone Is Crumpled

"Excuse me…sir? Please wake up sir!" an anxious voice called. "The town you've been speaking of has come into view. Look! That's Rogueport!"

"Oh!" Mario gasped, blinking his eyes open. When they were fully awake, he found a small looking town lying ahead of them in the vast sea.

"You see? We'll arrive shortly. Please prepare to disembark."

**Shortly-**

The ship floated over to the dock, giving Mario the chance to set foot on the land.

"I must apologize sir…our arrival was a bit delayed by rough weather…Are you quite sure you want to disembark here? I…did tell you all the sordid stories of Rogueport on our way here, did I not?"

Mario just smiled and nodded…_he_ didn't fall asleep while the captain was talking…

"What's that? I'm sorry? You say there's a princess waiting here for you? Is that so? Er…of course sir. Well, if that's what you think, then I won't stop you. But uh…you be careful sir! Don't say I didn't warn you!"

The boat immediately turned around, leaving Mario deserted in the dingy city. He gave it a good scan, but realized something was wrong.

_"Where is everybody?"_ he thought to himself. _"Shouldn't they be here, waiting for me at least?"_

Mario pondered this as he started to wander. He didn't get far before trouble shook. No surprise there.

"Hey! What do you want? Get away from me, freak!" a girl's voice shouted. Mario's attention turned to the fight. A goomba girl was being harassed by some tacky looking person followed by small guys with big X's on the front.

"Oh, come off it you airhead! I know it's tough for you, but don't play dumb with me! I've seen you walking around town asking people for information on the Crystal Stars," the fat man bellowed. "Well, now I'm doing the asking, so be a good girl and tell me what you know. Right. NOW!"

The goomba scowled. "Never! I don't have anything to say to you creeps! Ew!"

"I suppose it wouldn't be right if a sassy little lass like you met with an untimely demise…**Buh huh huh huh**! Boys, we're taking this firebrand to our fortress!"

"As your command, Lord Crump! We're on it!" the guys behind him replied. They all ganged up on the goomba girl. She shrieked.

"N-no! Stop right there, you weirdos! I'll scream! Really!"

Mario knew he had to take some action and headed over. He trotted a little ways from the goomba, and she spotted him. She scurried behind him and started to talk bold.

"Like I'd go anywhere with smelly lunatics like you! Hmph! Not likely!"

"Whuh?" 'Lord Crump' gaped. He started at Mario. "What do you think _YOU'RE_ doing, chump? You think you can screw up my plans?"

Mario jumped in surprise, looked around fiercely, and pointed briefly at himself. He didn't want to be dragged into this!

"Gah! It's always something…Looks like I'm gonna have to give you a little taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB!"

Lord Crump and his minions stampeded toward Mario, making him yelp.

Next thing he knew, it was battle time.

"Battle time, mister man! Just find a way to beat this freak of the week, ok?" the goomba gal said. "Don't sweat the details. Just jump on him and hit him with your hammer!"

Mario nodded, and remembered his hammer. It wasn't his Ultra one, because he lent it to Luigi and he broke it. So then he started using his spare hammer in the basement…where Luigi kept his diary. With the handle in his hand, Mario charged at Lord Crump and brought it down on his head, doing two damage.

"Yeah! You KNOW that hurt! Wow, I gotta say, you're tougher than you look! Keep it up, and you'll beat this fool in no time!" commented the girl behind Mario. I wish she'd tell us her name…

As Mario thought about what it could be, he was attacked by Lord Crump's backside. Mario wasn't going to take that and returned the favor with a jump.

"You've got him on the ropes!" cried out you-know-who. "C'mon! Keep whaling on him!"

Mario defended himself against Lord Crump, then bumped back with a hammer swing. This finally took him down.

"You did it! And you got Star Points! YESSSSS!"

Mario: Star Points…good times…

Mario gave a thumbs up and tipped his hat in victory.

"**Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh!** Okay, you got a couple of decent shot in, I'll give ya that! But… unfortunately for you, that means…" Crump trailed dramatically. "IT'S GO TIME!"

A hundred or more minions came storming onto the scene, leaving Mario and his new goomba friend in a daze.

"PUNISH HIM!" roared Crump. Like a fountain, the slaves all bounced on Mario. Too bad for them, there were so many that they couldn't really tell if they landed on Mario, or just others of the squad. Luckily, the goomba realized this and snuck out.

"Quick! This way!" she called. Mario obeyed and headed next to her. "Phew! What a bunch of loons! Let's just sneak out of here, what do you say?" Mario nodded and led her up the stairs to the main square of Rogueport.

"**Buh-HUUUUUUUUUUUUHHH**?" Crump squawked. "STOP!"

The mountain of moving baddies ceased, revealing Crump in the middle of it all and Mario gone.

"Where'd they go?!? Huh? You, Johnson! Did you see them? Did anyone?"

Johnson and others: ??????

"Uh…Crud. They bolted!"

* * *

Mario and friend were now safe. The plumber wiped the sweat off his brow as his pal cheered.

"Wow mister! You…totally saved me! Thanks! I have just GOT to give you a little reward!" she gushed. Balancing on the tip of her foot, she reached up and pecked Mario's cheek. "My name's Goombella. I'm a student at the University of Goom. Nice to meet ya! So…uh…who are you?"

Mario: it's-a me, Mario!

"…Mario? Wait. You mean, like that famous guy? Wow! I can't believe I met you here! Cool…Anyway, no offense, but it looks like you just rolled into town yourself, am I right?" Mario nodded. "Me? I already HATE it here! There are freaks and weirdos EVERYWHERE! It's nasty! I mean, I know the place is called Rogueport, so I should have expected it, but sheesh! I'd never come to a place like this if there weren't some legendary treasure here…"

Mario perked up at the "legendary treasure" and got excited. He told Goombella that he was looking for the legendary treasure too.

"Whoa whoa WHOA bucko! What'cha got there?"

He showed her the map Peach sent while some poor guards in the background got beat up by a rip-off of the Mafia. Goombella demanded that Mario tell her where he got it, and he told her Princess Peach. As Goombella gasped, a third person entered the conversation.

"Great hoogly-boogly! If it isn't Master Mario!" Toadsworth arrived on the scene, semi-happy, semi-worried. "Bit of a coincidence, bumping into each other in a place like this huh? Ho ho! So tell me, Master Mario, what in the worlds brings you to this wretched little burg?"

Mario explained everything he knew.

"…Hmm? Ah! Indeed?!? Princess Peach sent you a letter and a treasure map? And she told you she'd meet you in Rogueport? Intriguing…"

Mario: So…where is she?

"You're asking me where Princess Peach is? Erm…I was just about to ask you that. We stopped in town to acquire a spot of fuel for our ship, don't you know…and she had already called up a bunch of her otherworld friends for the rest of our vacation! I had to approve of them, which I slightly don't…"

Mario chuckled nervously. "They tricked me, and I only took my eye off her for a moment, but as soon as I did, she vanished!"

Mario did a double-take. "You know how headstrong she is, Mario…I just assumed she'd be back momentarily…I bet it was those girl friends of hers! At this point, I fear we may have to embrace the possibility that she may never return. I've been at a loss at what to do. I've been fraught with worry, I tell you! But I'm feeling better with you here, Master Mario. Surely we'll find her! Surely! But I know my place, Master Mario…and this is not it. I leave this task to you."

Mario pointed to himself as Toadsworth trotted away, huffing all the way. He sighed. Goombella tried to think of all the possibilities, until she decided to ask her old professor who lived in Rogueport. Mario had to agree. After all, he really didn't have any other choice.

* * *

**Bad and Good news! Bad news...this was super short and Link doesn't appear until next chapter. Good news...it's a LOT longer, very entertaining, and plenty of Link moments! :D**


	4. The Adventures of Link

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 3: The Adventures of Link

Mario led his new partner to the West side of town, only to be swindled by a Bandit rushing by.

"Oops! Sorry suckers!" he chortled. Mario, being the innocent hero he was, let it go by without a second thought. Goombella, however, was more alert.

"Hey! What's your beef pal? YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU!" she shouted. She glanced at Mario and yipped. "Mario! You gotta wake up! That guy just stole half of your coins! That is so LAME! Ugh! I hate this town!"

_"Glad I'm not the only one…"_ someone whispered. Mario and Goombella jerked their heads left and right, only to find nothing.

"Hey…MARIO!" the voice gasped. There was a deep chuckle, and it was like Link had just stepped out of the wall behind them, which he did.

"Hi Mario! It's about time you showed up!" he stated. Mario's expression was priceless. "…You really didn't expect me to do that, did you?

"Do you know him, Mario?" Goombella asked.

"Know him? I'm one of his best friends!" Link cried. He returned his focus back to Mario. "I see you've dug up another mushroom, I see…"

Mario: Not my fault.

"Whatever. As long as she doesn't get on my bad side…like HE did…"

"What do you want from us? In my opinion, you're just another roguish freak from Rogueport!" Goombella snapped. Link smirked.

"Shows how much you know! I'm not even from here! So there!" Link would've stuck out his tongue if he wasn't mature. "I'm just as new to this place as you two are!"

Mario asked why Link was so riled up and why he was alone. Link cringed and softened up. "They…all left! They…Sonic, Kirby, and Samus…got into a fight over where to vacation at, and Samus got all bossy and said they we should all split up because we need time alone! Even _Sonic_ agreed with that!"

Mario frowned. He told him there was no way, but Link shook his head.

"They didn't even ask me how I felt!! It was "Every man for them self"! They wrestled, tore our map…it was outrageous! Now they're gone. Worse, I have no idea where Peach, Zelda, and Amy skipped off to!"

Goombella jumped into the situation. "Whoa there! Did you say…Peach?"

"No. I said Pickle."

"No need for smart-talk. Toadsworth just came to us, saying he couldn't find her anywhere!"

Link clenched his fist. "…I was so down from everybody splitting and overwhelmed by the girls going missing, I didn't know what to do so I explored a little, got robbed TWICE, and hid out in this alley until…well, I got myself together..."

He looked really upset, and Mario couldn't take it. "Mario…I don't know how you got here, but I'm coming with you. I don't want to be alone! It…sucks."

Mario nodded, and before Goombella could have a say in it, Link was already standing next to Mario. Mario explained about the map and the letter, and Link gasped.

"The girls must have sent it before they disappeared, otherwise there'd be no way possible…" he exclaimed.

"I'm glad you figured that out. Now, Mario and I have to go see my old professor. Bye!" Goombella grunted.

"Didn't you hear? I'm coming with you!" Link confirmed. "Joy, another Goombario…"

"Fine! Just…don't get in our way."

"right back at cha!"

_Link:  
HP: 15  
FP: 5  
Moves:  
Sword Slash (Atk 3)  
Hack (2 FP) (Atk 4)_

_Special Ability: Attack is higher than other characters_

"Let's go Mario! We can find everyone, and hunt down the treasure! It'll show THEM for leaving!" Link cheered, already feeling better. Mario grinned. "By the way…I know where that Bandit went. Want to get your money back?"

Mario nodded, and Link made them backtrack to the Main Square. Goombella was completely unsure about everything, but no one listened to her. She had many questions…who was this guy, how did he know Mario, what in the heck were they talking about, and…who was the "other mushroom?" She'd probably never know.

* * *

Link paraded down to the backstreets, where a few shady characters grazed around, talking about crimes and schemes. Trash was tipped everywhere, and Goombella had an episode when the odor got to her.

"Are you sure he lives in a such a…degraded area?" she choked.

"Yeah…if you think this is bad, you'd better plug a few noses when we enter his house!" Link warned. Goombella turned green. Mario was afraid his mustache would fall off. The green hero led his gang into a shed that made Goombella leave on the spot. Mario toughed the flies, damp paper, and putrid odor to get his money back. The bandit cringed as Link pulled his sword at him.

"Alright pal! Give Mario his money back, or you'll be falling on the sword!" Link threatened. Mario smacked his head. Link never changed.

"Uh…fancy meeting you here! You're pretty dang persistent buddy! What a pain!" Bandit grumbled. Link edged his sword a little loser. Bandit sweat dropped.

"Fine. FINE! Ok? You got me. I'll give you your coins back…here." He placed the 50 coins in Mario outstretched gloved hand, with his mustache smirking all the way. Link drew back his sword as Goombella returned with a face mask. Bandit complained that that was just rude.

"Hurry up! I can't be in the slums anymore!" she gasped.

"HEY! Some of us simple folk can't help but steal! If I had it my way, I'd be living in a fancy city or fighting for a career! So SHUT UP!"

"Sorry. Didn't mean to offend you!" Goombella defended. Mario made the exit motion and both of his adventuring partners followed him. They returned to the middle east side of Rogueport, only for Link to discover a guard guarding the way to the east side. He told Mario, who was also curious, and Goombella thought that maybe her professor was over there. But…the guard wasn't very friendly…

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold up now! you're an outsider!" the birdman squawked.

"So?" asked Link.

"Past this point is the turf of Ishnail, head of the Robbos. It's 10 coins to pass through."

Everyone's jaw dropped, ready to complain.

"You try getting past without paying, and I'm afraid I'll have to whip you but good."

"C'mon guys; I bet Professor Frankly isn't down this way anyway…" Goombella decided. Link had other thoughts.

"I can take you!" he boasted. Mario snapped his coin-filled hand back, along with his head twisting to glare at Link.

"What? You gotta be kidding. You think you can fight your way through here?" Birdman guffawed. "I'm gonna make you eat those words, tough guy! Let's get this party started!"

Mario and Goombella continued to gawk at Link, who had a smug smile already on his face. "Here we go!"

He grinned cheekily at Mario before entering his first battle. Mario and Goombella nervously shrugged and sat in the audience.

"Take out that Gus!" cheered Goombella. Link nodded. He started the round off with a quick sword slash, just to get Gus a little riled. Gus growled and brought down his spear. Link was caught a bit off-guard as Gus charged, aiming for Link's stomach. At the last moment, Link jumped, and gave Gus a nice punch across the face. Gus fell with an oomph, the audience (Mario and Goombella) going mad.

"Whoa! A Super guard! How does he know how to do that?" Goombella questioned. She turned to Mario for an answer, only to find him swimming in memories-again. She raised an eyebrow.

Link chuckled at the look on Gus' face.

"I ain't messin' around kid. I can deal some pain."

"Hardly."

Link ran forward, while at the same time whipping out his sword. A front hack followed by a returning hack sent Gus flying down to 13 HP. Gus muttered something extremely mean as he threw his spear javelin-style. The swordsman didn't see it coming in the air and got a nasty three taken away from him. Mario cringed.

"You have no chance of beating me, trust me…so you'd better run. Yeah, if you don't, seriously, it'll be Game Over for you! Sometimes, it's best to run…"

"Run? Run? **RUN**!?!" Link stuttered. "Oh no, you didn't! I'm going to make you regret that!"

"Oh no…" Mario groaned. Link trembled slightly, getting a raised eyebrow from Gus and a confused face from Goombella. He gripped his sword and thrust at Gus, hacking away. With a "Guh…" Gus stumbled, with Link waving his sword in the air.

"STYLISH!" he cried. Mario and Goombella exchanged glances. "I'll show you who NEEDS to run!"

Gus cackled and jammed his spear toward Link. In the nick of time, Link raised his Hylian shield to protect him. Flabbergasted, Gus was caught off guard. Link knew he was on the ropes, so he cut back with another slash of his sword.

"Man…I wish I didn't leave all my weapons behind…" Link complained. "I could knock him out with a bomb or hit him with an arrow!"

His opponent snorted and chucked another spear. Link was too late to guard it so he took the damage, sending him down to 9. Mario tossed Link a Honey Syrup from the audience, which Link eagerly guzzled, giving him his full FP back. Wiping a few drops on his chin, Link hacked once again at Gus, Super guarded his Spear Charge, and ended the battle with an old fashion sword swing.

"CRUD! You dumb video game characters ALWAYS pull this stuff!" Gus whined. "It's ridiculous!"

"Video-game character? What are you talking about?" Link wondered.

"You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?!?" cried Gus, finally running away like the baby he was.

"Pshh…you just can't handle the Link!" scoffed the hero.

"Well…I checked, and one building is a Help Center and the other two are all locked up **SO**…" Goombella trailed.

"Why don't we knock on that door over there?" Link pointed out, motioning to a house next to one with a Star on the top of the door.

"Um…okay…"

Goombella trotted over, knocked on the door, and opened it swiftly. Inside was a elderly goomba with glasses, gray fluffy hair in the back of his head, and…well, looked like a shriveled mushroom.

"Oh hi! There you are! Professor Frankly!" Goombella gasped.

"That thing is a professor?" Link asked in awe. Mario nudged him.

"Whuzzuh?" the mushroom man grunted, turning around to see his company. "Who's there? Who wants me?"

The group walked next to him. He instantly stared at Goombella. "Ah yes. You. Now, you uh…"

Link smacked his head.

"I've seen that face before. Yes, that face…Wait for it! Just a moment…Don't tell me now! Silence! I'll get it right! Umm…it's not Goombriel…Err…it's not Elizagoom…"

"I already don't like this guy. Why must Goombas have it out for me?" whined Link. Frankly continued to think until he startled everyone with his sudden answer.

"A-ha! I've got it!!! You're Goombella, aren't you? You were in my archeology class last year, am I right?"

"Wow, yes, sir! That's me! I'm Goombella, a junior at U Goom. GOOO GOOMBAS!" she cheered. Link asked if she worked part time as a cheerleader, and she snarled.

"Of course I remember you. Not to toot my horn, but I'm pretty good at remembering. You, though…you stick out in my mind because you were an exceptional student. And that guy behind you is…"

Link prepared to answer, but Mario pointed at himself, then gave a thumbs up.

"Wa-hoo!"

"WHO?!?!?!"

Mario and Link toppled over at the destructiveness of the shout. "Mario! Professor, he's Mario! You know…the famous one!"

"Like I'm not?" Link put in.

"Oh! My apologies. I'm such a bookworm, I haven't a clue about what's "Hip" right now. By the way…who's the chatty annoying one over there?"

Link scowled. "My name is Link! How can no one know who I am?"

Mario snickered to himself.

"In any case, what sort of errand brings you three all the way to a place like this?"

"A vacation, actually…"

Goombella interrupted Link. "We were hoping you'd tell us about the legendary treasure said to be below Rogueport…"

Knowing this would lead to a very long and dreary conversation, Link got snuggled in the corner and closed his eyes. He told Mario to pay attention for him, and he dosed off.

~*^*~

Link snapped awake at the sound of them talking about the Crystal Stars. Mario was showing Frankly a map, Goombella was eagerly chatting about the Thousand-Year Door, and Frankly was practically keeping himself from kissing Mario's feet.

"Did you guys say…Crystal Stars?" Link wondered groggily.

"Why yes!" Goombella snapped. "Glad to see you were paying attention in your sleep. Now, why is this of importance to you?"

"I…think I had one…"

Goombella jumped on him. "WHAT DID YOU SAY MAN?! YOU HAD A CRYSTAL STAR?!?"

"Get off me! Yes, I believe so! I was upset, so I jumped the fence next to this very house, and slipped down the pipe. I found this pretty nice looking area, for ruins, at least, and there it was, big as life, sitting in what seemed to be what was a fountain. It was beautiful…the way it shimmered, the color was like a crystal…wow…"

Goombella was on the fritz now. "What happened to it?!?!"

"It was stolen. I had picked it up to admire it, wanting to keep it for some odd reason. Just then, I heard a door open behind me, but when I turned around, I was suddenly jumped, had a sack thrown over my eyes, heard a freakish laugh, and the next thing I knew, the star was gone, and I was lying in front of the noose in the plaza…"

The goomba gal frowned. "That's a disappointment…"

"Don't worry! We can find the Crystal Stars by hold the map before the legendary door!" Frankly cheered. Next thing the three knew, they were being whisked away outside. Frankly waddled over to the fence Link was talking about, and knocked off a section of it.

"Gah! You just vandalized property!" Link cried.

"So? The entire city is vandalized. The city vandalizes the Mushroom Kingdom!" Frankly retorted.

"Touché…"

Frankly told everyone to get moving, so they wasted no time.

"Oh wait! Hang on a second! Mario! Link! Something just occurred to me…"

"What's up?"

"I'm fairly certain there are quite a few hoodlums below. So uh…keep your guard up. You two know about Action Commands, don't you?"

Mario nodded, and Link expressed that he was a stylish master. Goombella rolled her eyes.

"Oh! A Master are we?"

"Pretty much. I've already had training from an old friend…"

Frankly nodded and carried on down the pipe. Mario didn't lead his group far where a slick voice echoed throughout the underground.

"Hey! Hey, man! What's up? Who's the hottie you got there with you?"

Mario and Goombella: ?

"Ha! Goombella…_hot_?!" Link suppressed, failing horribly. Goombella would've given him a dark look if she wasn't focused on the three goombas opposite of them. The Paragoomba spoke up.

"Wassup baby? Why don't you hang out with us for a while? We play real nice…"

"Man, what's a FINE-looking Goomba doin' with a tubby mustache man and a Garden Gnome like that?" The Spiky Goomba hissed.

"For a spiky-head freak, you sure have a sharp tongue…" murmured Link. He nearly doubled-over when Goombella started talking.

"Oh, it is, like SO sweet that you boys think I'm cute! Seriously!" Goombella gushed. Link was about to make a remark, but she kept going. "Yeah, you guys make me feel like…TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!" she sent a glance to Link who winked back.

"You guys just got burned…" Link mocked.

"Yeah! You were blown over dude!" Frankly added, trying a pathetic attempt to be "In". Link shook his head and Mario and Goombella gawked at him.

"That was sad…"

"Sorry."

"I'm…disturbed now…brrr…"

The Goombas were highly offended. "Ouch! That was cold!" the regular goomba yelled.

"What, you're too good for us? Come off it, sister!" Paragoomba remarked.

"Nobody zings us like that! Nobody! Let's get 'em!" ordered Spiky. They all jumped down from their perch and ambushed Mario. Frankly explained that this was the goomba family tree, and that Mario shouldn't jump on the Spiky Goomba, and that his hammer couldn't reach the Paragoomba.

"Always take your opponent's situation into consideration when fighting! Always!" Frankly confirmed.

"Thanks for the obvious knowledge!" Link sneered. "You sound just like Goombario…"

Mario nodded and gave a good hammer bump to the regular goomba, destroying that one. Goombella Headbonked the Paragoomba, and Link chopped at the Spiky Goomba. They were dead within one round.

"Pathetic…" Link sighed.

"Ahem…WE goombas happen to be some of the weakest in the Mushroom Kingdom…" Goombella hinted.

"You're saying you're weak?"

"NO!"

The Goombas yelped in pain. "OWEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" With that, they scurried off.

"Ha! Later losers! That felt AWESOME!" Goombella hurrahed.

"That wasn't even worth fighting for!" Link pouted. He looked to Mario for back-up, but he only shrugged. Huffing, he followed said plumber up some steps, across a moving platform, and down a pipe.

* * *

In the next area, items that Link collected lined the floor and Goombas of all sorts danced across some stairs, until the gang took them out. Goombella was feeling incredible after all the beatings, but Link, who had previous experience with such danger, thought the fighting was for preschoolers'. It was that easy.

"How can you be so hyped over defeating fungi with only two HP?" Link asked a jittering Goombella.

"Unlike you, I've been spending my time actually getting smart instead of knocking people's brain's out!" Goombella snapped back. In a huff, she scurried into a small room (after Mario bashed the blocks for her) with another pipe. As she went down, Mario, Link, and Frankly hustled to keep up. When Link found her in the next part of the sewers, she was examining a little squishy thing looking back at them.

"What is that!" Link gasped. Goombella shrugged.

"Probably some type of sewer life…oh, and if you're looking for something a little more challenging, then go face those Spinia over there!" hissed Goombella while scribbling down notes. Link looked over to see two green spinning things with buck teeth whirling around on a lower level.

"I don't doubt they're tougher than goombas, but they still look like a piece of cake…"

Mario and Link exchanged a sneaky grin before going all out on the innocent twirling creatures. They had 3 HP, which meant only Mario's Power Smash and Link's Hack could demolish them in one hit. But they ran out of FP, so the Spinia managed to get in some attacks.

"Wimps." Link had super guarded one of them, killing it, while Mario simply guarded another. Once the mini brawl was over, Goombella and Frankly rejoined them.

"Thanks you guys…your little spats gave me a bit of info on these creatures…" explained Goombella.

"Glad we could help!" Link joked. Goombella rolled her eyes, and Link happened to look up. On a small ledge was a little black key. "Hey! A key! I'm going to get it!"

Everyone raised an eyebrow as the hero desperately jumped, trying to snag the treasure. (Reminds me of Kolorado). He dangled from the edge, attempted to pull himself up, but resulted in falling. Mario shook his head and continued to explore with Goombella and Frankly at his side. He crushed a blue switch under the might of his hammer, had some stairs appear, and climbed up. They could hear Link "Unh!" in another try to jump up.

"If he had stopped to think, he'd realize that when we climb up here, we could just jump down to get the key…" explained Goombella. Mario nodded intelligently, although he hadn't thought of that either. He made a small hop down (next to a gray pad with an airplane symbol on it) and landed on the ledge with the key. As he picked it up, he noted Link struggling to pull himself up again.

"Link!" Goombella called. Link furiously darted his head back and forth, trying to locate the source of the sound.

"Oh no! now I'm hearing things!" Link groaned. "The people watching down on me are speaking!"

"Link…we got the key…" Frankly sweat dropped, taking it from Mario and dropped it on his head. Link twitched when it bonked down on his head. While rubbing the spot in pain, he glanced down to see the key at his feet.

"Yes! I, _Link_, have retrieved the key with the help of my guardian angels! All in a day's work…"

Everyone face palmed. "That's nice Link…" Frankly stated. "Now follow us up. We found a suspicious looking room!"

"Psh, you're just saying that because I found the key!"

Nevertheless, Link marched up the stairs. Goombella leaned over to Mario and whispered, "Is he always so annoying and…well, a bit off?"

Mario explained he was experiencing an aftermath of a horrific friendship fight, and a brief traumatization of being left alone. Goombella nodded.

"I can respect that. Let's hurry. I bet Link's already turning the room over trying to find where the lock is!"

Mario gave a light laugh and trotted the rest of the way up the steps. In the small room Goombella was talking about, Link was poking and prying at a large black chest. Mario pushed him aside and lifted his hand. Like magic, the box responded.

"whoa!" it cried, making Link jump. "Hey! You! Can you hear me?"

"I'm sure everyone in the world can hear you…" Link grumbled rubbing his ear.

"Uh-huh!" Mario yipped.

"You can?!?! That must mean you're the hero of legend!"

"If you mean Legend of Zelda, then sure!"

Mario only pointed to himself.

"Only the great hero of legend can hear my voice. Yeah! Everyone else…nothing."

Link was all too suspicious. "Okay…I can hear you, apparently Mario can, Goombella can, and I'm sure Frankly can…does that make us all heroes of legend?" He thought he heard the box gulp. The box decided to change the subject with a long story.

"See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking me in this box. I was bummed. I've been here ever since, waiting a long, LONG time for the hero to come by! …So yeah, anyway, big guy, what brings a hero like you to a place like this?"

Link was about to answer, but naturally Frankly had to get in his opinion. "Er, Mario…a word with you? I'm not exactly confident that we can trust this…box. I think it may be best not to mention that we're looking for the Crystal Stars…"

Everyone gawks at him.

"Well drat. I JUST SAID IT OUT LOUD!"

"Way to go, professor!" Link sneered, dripping with sarcasm. Frankly cringed.

"What's wrong with me?!"

"A lot of things…"

"Not in the moment, Link!"

The Black Chest seemed to pause to think. "Oh yeah? Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you now? So you really are a hero. Well you're DEFINITELY going to need my help if you hope to get those bad boys. I just need you to find a key…"

"Well, what do you think we ought to do, Mario?" Goombella wondered. Mario pondered as the box spoke up again.

"Well, I know my vote goes to you finding that key. I'm sure it's around here somewhere…C'mon! being stuck in a box is no picnic! I'm counting on you, O Legendary Hero!"

"Dude, we-I mean, _I_- already found it…" Link put in, leaning against the wall with the key tapping at his side.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You brought the key! Yes! Oh man, I owe you BIG!" cheered the chest. Link cautiously handed the key to Mario, who slid it in the slot and turned it.

"YESSSSSSSS! Thank…Ha! Thank nothing! WHEE HEE! FOOLS!"

Mario's jaw dropped while Link grunted.

"What!"

The chest opened and sucked the two in. Goombella and Frankly watched in safety.

Just what drastic, horrible thing was going to happen to Mario?

* * *

**Good News: My best fan's birthday! Better News: I'm still posting a chapter tomorrow! Yay!**


	5. Curses!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 4: Curses!

_The Black Chest seemed to pause to think. "Oh yeah? Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you now? So you really are a hero. Well you're DEFINITELY going to need my help if you hope to get those bad boys. I just need you to find a key…"_

_"Well, what do you think we ought to do, Mario?" Goombella wondered. Mario pondered as the box spoke up again._

_"Well, I know my vote goes to you finding that key. I'm sure it's around here somewhere…C'mon! being stuck in a box is no picnic! I'm counting on you, O Legendary Hero!"_

_"Dude, we-I mean, I- already found it…" Link put in, leaning against the wall with the key tapping at his side._

_"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You brought the key! Yes! Oh man, I owe you BIG!" cheered the chest. Link cautiously handed the key to Mario, who slit it in the slot and turned it._

_"YESSSSSSSS! Thank…Ha! Thank nothing! WHEE HEE! FOOLS!"_

_Mario's jaw dropped while Link grunted._

_"What!"_

_The chest opened and sucked the two in. Goombella and Frankly watched in safety._

"Oh BOY, Did you fall for it! I BURNED you! What, did you think I was going to **help** you?!?"

Link didn't like getting burned.

"Instead, I'm going to spread a little of the suffering I've endured in that stupid box! Yeah, sorry, but those are the breaks! I'm going to cast an evil, terrible curse on….YOU!" he motioned toward Mario, since the power wouldn't work on both him and Link. Mario cowered. "Buggly-wuggly wooooooo! You're cursed!"

A bright flashing light made Link cover his eyes, also in fear of what terrible curse was put on Mario. When he looked up…Mario was fine.

"What kind of a curse is this?" Link scowled.

"Whee hee hee hee! Enjoy that curse, sucker! You got what you deserved!"

Link just looked on as the completely devastating horrific curse was explained. Mario could turn into an airplane. Ha, _curse_? Shoot, he was jealous!

"I wanna fly!" Link cried. Mario looked at him weird, though said nothing as usual. Link sadly watched his friend zone out as a little paper airplane while the chest demon explained how to fly. Mario said he got it, and he was set free after returning to normal.

------

"So, uh…wow. Just wow. What was that guy's beef?" Goombella wondered, awestruck.

"His beef was keeping me from getting a cool power too!" protested Link. "Now I have to play passenger!"

Mario grinned and shrugged, guiding everyone out the door. He stood on the airplane panel they spotted before, transformed into a little plane, had everyone magically climb aboard, and flew them across the gap onto the large yellow block. Link fell when Mario retransformed.

"Ouch! Be a little less careless when you turn back, okay?" Link huffed. Mario smiled weakly. In one motion, Link turned on his heel and headed through the door way, Frankly eagerly trotting behind him. When they saw what was in the next room, Frankly had a field day.

"Oh! Mario! Link! Goombella! Look…at…THAT!"

"Wow…biggest door I've ever seen!" exclaimed Link. Mario nodded.

"It's the door spoken of in all the legends! I can't believe it's real! So the legends are true! There it is, big as life! C'mon! let's move closer!"

Frankly jumped up and down in anticipation, making everyone uneasy. Regardless, Mario headed downward anyway.

"Hey, what's the deal with this weird pedestal, huh? What could it be, you think?" asked Goombella when they approached said pedestal. It had a small spot in the center, like someone was to stand on it. It seemed to tempt Mario, so he absent-mindedly hopped onto it. There was an incredibly light spark, making the party cower with shock. Frankly and Goombella stood to the sides while Link climbed up next to Mario. A blue aura circled the old ancient stone, illuminating designs in the process.

"Professor! What's going on?" input Goombella.

Just then, the map in Mario's pocket shone, slowly rising out. Link thought he was the only one noticing the room spinning, though he stared attentively at the map's magic. A beam of light blue light shot out of the map, with more of it opening up like a flower. On the actual map itself, a castle popped up, with a glittering diamond star rotating on it. Then, like nothing had happen, a glass-shattering noise was heard and Mario held up the map. He seemed to be powered up like he had learned a new move, or something. When the map returned down to earth, Link peered over his shoulder.

"Wow! That's the exact thing that I had, except the color was different!" Link noticed.

"You DID have a Crystal Star!" cried Frankly.

"If I knew it was so valuable, then I would have fought to keep it!"

"How could a crystal in the shape of a star not be valuable?"

"Quiet Bella!"

"No! What was with all those crazy lights?" she continued. Frankly thought it over.

"Hrmmm…it appears that information related to the Crystal Stars appeared…and that shining light…it looks like a mysterious power was given to Mario!"

"Typical. Mario gets all the cool upgrades and I stay Link…"

"Well…one way or another…We should return to my place and study the map closely."

"Oh yeah!" stated Mario.

------

Back at the HQ, Frankly was making some discoveries about the map. He deduced that Mario could do something called a Special move, to the jealousy of Link.

"Would you like to try it out?" Frankly wondered. Mario shook his head. He liked to learn things on his own. Frankly was a bit stubborn, but he eventually caved. Link said he would gladly do the lesson, if he had the power. Frankly let out a light chuckled and continued to study the map.

"Wow! ASTOUNDING!" he gasped. Everyone huddled around him. "This map has radar-like functions! It one shows us the location of a Crystal Star!"

"You just now figured that out?" Link questioned in an obvious way.

"It looks like the first Crystal Star is to be found in a place called Petal Meadows."

"Petal Meadows?"

"Will you stop asking such obvious questions!?"

"Whoa, _someone_ got on the wrong side of the bed today!"

Link and Goombella had a stare-down while Frankly continued to explain to Mario.

"Yes. The area is a vast meadow that lies far to the east of Rogueport. To tell the truth though, I've always thought the place was a tad suspicious…The name Petal Meadows _did_ come up time to time in my research…"

Mario nodded in an interested way.

"Ok, fine. So we'll go there. Does anyone know how to get here, or what?"

"Another question from the Mystery herself!"

"I'm curious! Sheesh, I'm sure you'd like to know too!"

"…so?"

"I'm fairly certain that somewhere beneath the city is a pipe that leads to Petal Meadows. If you could just find that, you'd get there instantly! Pipe travel's efficient!"

Mario then told Frankly that he got the map form Princess Peach, and Frankly replied that she was in there a few days ago with some friends, asking about the treasure.

"Whoa! Was one a pink hedgehog and the other another princess in-oh, I don't know- a pink dress with wild blond hair, maybe?" Link asked immediately.

"Actually, yeah…Why?"

"They-They might be okay?" choked Link, clutching the table. Frankly decided that Peach, Zelda, and Amy must have started the adventure without them, and were probably at Petal Meadows as they spoke. With a hand-off of the map, Frankly whooshed them away. The moment they stepped out the door, Frankly stopped them.

"Wait just a moment!" He called, making Mario dance in shock. He came out holding a spiky hammer badge, and handed it to Mario.

"I don't get a good-bye gift? AGAIN?" whined Link. Frankly gave a weak smile and ran back into the safely of his house before Link could attack. Mario equipped his badge and told the small group he was ready. Goombella said she was too, and both turned to Link.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go!"

Mario nodded and sent them all down the pipe to the sewers. They headed down and up some stairs, transformed into a paper air plane, sailed across the giant gap, and entered an area they couldn't reach before.

"This certainly is interesting…" Goombella noted.

"It's kinda creepy…" admitted Link. "Like that thing sticking out of the water over there…"

He pointed to a blue squishy thing sticking out of the water and flopping on the ground.

"Whoa! That thing's huge!" gasped Goombella.

"Should I poke it?"

Mario shrugged.

"It's up to me? Cool!"

Link strutted over and jabbed his sword down on the soggy pile of matter. That was a mistake.

"Bloop! BLOOOOOPPPPP!!!" the sound echoed throughout the small, water-filled room.

"Didn't see that coming…"

The tentacle, as it turned out to be, shriveled back into the water.

Mario, Goombella and Link: ?

Suddenly, a monster Blooper sprang out of the water, and it didn't look happy.

"Dear Neptune!" guffawed Link. "_Really_ didn't see that coming!"

The next thing they knew, they were fighting off sea-food!

"Who just up and whacks someone's tootsies like that?" the Blooper asked in Bloopish. "Somebody with some serious moxie, that's who!"

"That's me!"

"Link!"

"What? I do have some serious moxie! See the symbol on my hand?"

"Sigh…"

"You wouldn't understand…let's kick some Blooper!"

Blooper: !

"Would you look at that! Some saucy mustache guy and an over-sized garden gnome! They're in for a world of hurt!"

Link would not be shot down. "Yes, you are!"

"I'll give ya a taste of the old Tentacle Trample!"

The Blooper was on the ceiling, sparkling with all its 12 HP. The two tentacles sticking out had 3. Mario started off by taking out the first tentacle, and Goombella starting to do some damage on the second. Link leapt into the air and hacked his sword down on the Blooper's main body.

"Hey gnome!"

Link's ears turned red. "Ya, what?"

"You're thinking I'd taste good! Aren't cha? Admit it!"

Link sweat dropped. The Blooper probably _would_ taste good deep fried, but he wasn't about to say that!

"Yeah, you want to snack on these tentacles, don't you?"

"…ew! No! I'd rather Bloop!" Link lied. The Blooper seemed to shrug and slapped link across the face.

_"Gutless Punk,"_ Mario heard the Blooper whisper.

Mario: ...

The other tentacle caught Mario off guard and smacked Mario upside the head, brushing his mustache. No one touched Mario's mustache! He took out one tentacle, Goombella the other, and Blooper toppled off the ceiling. Link snickered and sliced at the sea-food. The Blooper couldn't get up with his tentacles in pain, so Mario used his Power Smash to dish out 4, and Goombella finished the job with a simple headbonk.

"BLUH-BLOOP!" he roared, shooting himself deeper into reaches of the sewer Mario couldn't get to. Goombella gasped.

"What did the Blooper say?" Link asked in disbelief.

"uh…I don't think I can't repeat that…" Goombella gulped.

"I understand."

Mario didn't want any part of that little discussion and proceeded to jump across the newly appeared floating platforms. Link, as usual, gracefully skipped across with Mario doing his best just not to fall.

"What's wrong Mario?" Link teased, one boot on the pipe to Petal Meadows. "Old age keeping up with you?"

Mario grunted in response and jumped down the pipe, "accidentally" knocking Link down with a wink.

"ow…okay, you still have a few decent hops…"

Link stood up, and followed his friend down the pipe. No matter how old they got, they would always be friends. They both knew that, and if only Link could apply that to his others pals, everything'd be all right.


	6. The New Flower Fields

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 5: The New Flower Fields

"Well, here we are! The Petal Meadows, where folks say a Crystal Star hides!" Goombella exclaimed.

"Petal Meadows? Ha! It sounds like a rip off of Flower Fields!" remarked Link as he exited the pipe.

"Woo hoo! Here we go, Mario! The start of our adventure! This is completely awesome!"

"Oh yeah!"

"Excited much?"

"YES!"

Link shook his head and stood on the other side of Mario. Mario started down the path, only to be stopped by the feeling of a shadow and a roar passing over them.

"Whoa! What was that?" gasped Goombella.

"Nothing good, I bet," decided Link.

"Ooh! Is that a…wow! Mario! Link! Look!!!" Goombella was now hyped up, and Link was afraid nothing would stop her. Nevertheless, he looked up and saw a huge red dragon with tiny wings and arms, a long blue-hooked tail, and a big head heading to a small dark blue castle in the background.

"Yowzers!" let out Link. "Didn't expect to see something like that right off!"

"Totally incredible…I've never seen anything that humongous before. It looked kind scary too. Weird…Professor Frankly said this place was peaceful. Wow! Crazy! We've just started, and already there's intrigue! C'mon Mario! Let's go!" rambled Goombella.

"Do you always talk so much? I'm seeing a resemblance to Goombario already!" Link moaned. Goombella just gave a "talk to the hand" look and followed close behind Mario. Link adjusted his green stocking cap and also trotted close. They passed some oddly shaped rocks, but only stored the thought in the back of their minds. Link nabbed a Mushroom joyfully and snuck it into his bag. He decided he and Mario would have separate items so he wouldn't eat all the supplies. But if one ran out, the other could supply.

The instant they entered the next area, a Goomba had ambushed them. Link took care of it easily, along with all the other Goombas along the path. They were too easy. Mario did nab a Close Call badge, but planned on selling it later.

"This is so-" Link began in the next part of the sunny path.

"Don't you dare say boring. Sorry if every second of your life can't be filled with excitement! Sometimes you need to chill and just go with the flow Link. Something will happen eventually…" Goombella snapped. Link was about to yell back, but what she said suddenly hit him. Goombella was flinching away from link, but Link suddenly seemed a little lost in his own world. Mario waved a hand in front of his eyes, already knowing it was something about the rest of their gang.

"It's something Samus tells Sonic all the time…" Link exclaimed softly. Mario knew how sensitive Link felt about Sonic and tried to get his mind off it. Goombella said she didn't know what she said. While in his own world, Link tripped over something in a bush and toppled into the river below.

"COLD! AH!" he screamed, jumping out on the spot. Mario got curious and searched around in the big green bush, finding a green pipe. He jumped down it, and ended up in the background.

"Hey! How did Mario get way over there?" Goombella wondered.

"He took a pipe. Did you miss that?" Link retorted. Goombella made a face. Mario hit a blue switch in the hills, making a bridge appear over the river Link fell in. When Mario came back, he winked at Link and regained his captain's position. Link couldn't help but smile, and crossed the bridge feeling a bit better.

* * *

They entered Petalburg, and noticed something about the town was…very odd. A Green Shelled koopa walked over to welcome them.

"I feel like this has happened before…" thought Link.

"Welcome travelers!" the koopa stated cheekily. "This is Petalburg! Sorry, but it's been a long time since we've had visitors here. We're kind of remote. Yeppity, once that dragon Hooktail was spotted flying around this area….Well, it didn't help tourism put it that way. People just stopped visiting."

"Dragon? Hooktail? That must've been that huge thing we saw flying around earlier, Mario!" Goombella exclaimed.

"Sounds like it!" Link agreed.

"So it's called Hooktail huh? Ooh, scary! Pbth!" continued Goombella. "So anyway Green Boots, have you ever heard of these things called Crystal Stars? We're on a quest for them. It's very important!"

Green Boots rubbed his chin in thought. "Crystal Stars, you say? Hmmm…nope. Can't say I have. Sorry about that. You might want to speak with the mayor though. He's old…really, really old. As such, he knows all kinds of things we don't. Koopas his age are…um…really smart."

"Sound like some sort of genius!" Link gasped. "He must be full of knowledge!"

"Anyway, the mayor lives in that pink house up ahead. You should go check it out."

"…and then not so much…"

"A pink house? Sounds totally hideous, but it should be easy to find. Thanks for your help!" remarked Goombella. Mario waved and set out through the small burg. Link didn't go far when he noticed a little Toad boy playing something called a "GBA". He asked to take a look, and the boy was playing Fire Emblem.

"Fire Emblem? What kind of a name is that?" Link guffawed. "Sound like a insignia made of fire or something…"

"Forget it, let's find the pink house," Goombella ordered.

Link shrugged to hide his rage. He didn't like to be ordered by Goombas, no matter what gender, age, type, place, or…some other thing. He lifted his boot-wearing foot to stomp some manners into her, but Mario caught him at the last moment and pushed Goombella away. He sent a glare at his friend, and Link just scowled. They walked past a suspicious looking blue dog, that winked at Goombella and spoke with a French accent. Link cackled while Goombella tried to tell him off.

"Ooh, someone has the hots for Goombella…" teased Link.

"Ew! I can't believe you just said that! Did you hear that lame poem?" cringed the goomba. Link snickered and entered the next area, where Mario was already heading up the steps of the neon pink house.

"I was right. That is hideous!"

"It's…so…PINK!"

Mario waited for them to catch up, then pulled open the red door. When they saw a really old Koopa, Link recoiled.

"Hmph? Whuzzut? Someone there? Who is it?" the old koopa barked. "WHO?!? What do you want from me?!?"

"Whoa! Back down, Fido!" Link guffawed.

"I know! You're thieves! Here to rob a defenseless old koopa! Despicable!"

Mario jumped back and flailed his arms. Link and Goombella's eyes widened.

"What are you talking about?"

"This guy is a few scales short of a shell…"

Mario shook his head.

"Go on, do what you will…But as you can plainly see, there's nothing to steal here. Oh, I guess I have a little money…Take it, you fiends. And my antique shell too."

"Money? A Shell? I'll take it!" Link began.

"LINK! We're not robbing the old and defenseless!"

"Just leave the photos of me and the missus…can't live without those memories…"

"They won't last much longer-"

"LINK!"

"Just look at him!"

"You need to stop being rude!"

"It's a fact!"

Mario stopped their arguing and held up his hand to explain that they weren't thieves.

"What? Not thieves you say? Well, what's your story then? Oh wait…you folks looking for Crystal Stars?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Well why didn't you pipe up before, you ijit? We're just wasting time here!"

"What the heck is an ijit?"

"The Crystal Stars you say you're hunting…Errrm, wait…what did I hear about those dang things again?"

"This is wasting time!" Link sighed.

"Aha! Got it! Hooktail! Hooktail's got what you're looking for!" the mayor burst out. "It's this enormous, ornery, dragon. Eats folks, they say. You know Hooktail, right?"

Mario: of course!

"I may have heard the name…" Link replied.

"Well this Hooktails' brutal fly-by snacking have us all on pins and needles. So are you reckless fools…I mean…are you gallant heroes off to rough it up?"

"You got it!" Mario said.

"Who are you calling a fool geezer?" Link scoffed.

"This DOES sound promising! Why, if you can rid us of Hooktail, we'll shower you with gratitude and rewards!"

"This really does sound promising!" chuckled Link under his breath.

"wait, what's that I hear? You'll accept no reward?"

"I didn't say that!" cried Link.

"What an unselfish man! You're noble, indeed…" Link face palmed and sweat dropped at the same time. "Yup a good egg. Now, what did you say your name was again?"

"Oh!"

"Link. Quite obviously."

"…Murphy and Tinkle? Hmm…there's some fine names. Yes, fine names indeed. Well now, Murphy…"

Mario: The name is MARIO!

"MY NAME IS LINK!!!!!"

"I appreciate that Murphy. They ARE nice eyebrows. Yes, I think. Now listen up. If you're intent on going to Hooktail's castle, find the secret pipe near this village. I don't know where it's at, but I know you need stone keys to use that pipe. The keys are somewhere in Shhwonk Fortress, just past the village. Get them first."

"okay!"

"We then Murphy, Tinkle…Get going and take care of that Hooktail monster!" Mario nodded and turned to go through the door, only to see Link breaking through it into the fresh air.

He wailed, "…and people call ME a chatter box!!!"

"Link calm down! Sheesh." Goombella huffed.

"Sorry…but I bet we could've figured all that out on our own though. What a time waster." he went to a tree in the Mayor's front yard and snagged a Turtley Leaf from it. As he gnawed on it, Mario shook his head and headed toward the gate to the Fortress. Just before he got there, his Mailbox SP started to go off. It was from Professor Frankly, so Link said it was just some SP tutorial or something predictable like that. Mario hesitated, but eventually agreed, and shut the SP off.

"An old stronghold called Shhwonk Fortress lies ahead. A stone creature lives there." explained the gate keeper when Mario asked for his attention. "At least, it MIGHT live there. This gate is to keep it out. My job…is to guard the gate…But if the mayor says it's okay, I'll let you pass. Careful out there though!"

"We will!" Goombella said. Right after he pushed the gate open, an eager voice called out to them.

"Umm…excuse me! Err…I beg your pardon! Wait a moment, PLEASE!"

A Koopa with a blue sweatshirt, a half-open eye, and a bandage on his nose suddenly ran up to them. Link gasped.

"Kooper?!?! What are you doing here?" he guffawed. Mario raised an eyebrow with an exasperated face.

"Who the heck is Kooper?" spat Goombella.

"I was just about to ask the same thing…" "Kooper" replied. "Pardon me for yelling like that. I was panicking. Umm…how to begin?"

"If you're name isn't Kooper, mind telling us what it really is? Hm?" inquired Link.

"M-My name's…Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail Castle. So I have a favor to ask………………………………..........................................well…um…oh just, just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good…good-bye…"

Koops quickly ran off, obviously in a fury of embarrassment and regret.

Everyone: ?

"OOOOOOO-k…That was weird…What do you think THAT was all about? Talk about issues!"

"I agree. Something's off about that guy…especially if his name isn't Kooper…" Link pondered, mostly to himself.

* * *

_Into the path beyond the gate, the sky's usual cheery blue had darkened to a depressed navy. Even the grass seemed to be darkened. First entering, you would think the path would be pleasant, but just beyond that…were many enemy alike…_

"What's with the creepy overview voice Link?" Goombella wondered, completely zonked.

"Oh. I do that from time to time. Really fun!" was the quirky reply. Link strolled down the path, only to fall when he stepped off the small cliff. A Paragoomba fluttered down in a rage, attacking Link. It took away a minor 1 from him. Mario noticed he was accompanied by another Paragoomba, and took a leap. He took out the first opponent, and Goombella did the second. Link wasn't too mad that he didn't get to fight, since he wouldn't be able to reach the flying rival anyway.

"hey! There's a punk-gone-mad Koopa ahead!" pointed out Link. "I shall go kill it!"

Mario raised a hand to stop him, but he had already drawn his sword and was dashing toward the turtle. When he struck the foe, it didn't even faze him. Link then smacked his head in remembrance. Koopa Troopa's defenses were higher than average enemies. The koopa pulled into its shell and nearly tripped Link, also taking away a small two. Mario jumped into the battle, at the same time jumping on the koopa. Goombella tattled to get a good study on it, then Link finished it off with a hack. Next thing they knew, Mario and Link had leveled up!

"Yesssssss!!!! How I missed this feeling!" Link cheered, selecting HP along with Mario. Goombella jumped up and down from the sidelines.

When they returned to the path, Link collected the coins the Koopa had on him. He wasn't needing those anymore anyway… Next to a Spiky Goomba and Troopa (that were easily taken care of), was a box with an item. Natural instinct kicked in and Link smashed it, out popping a POW Block.

"Something tells me we'll need this…" hummed Link. Mario nodded and stored it in his bag.

"ooh! Lookie! There's an opening into that fortress building thing over there!" Goombella pointed out.

"We can see that. It's where the path leads, doesn't it?" grunted Link.

"hey, I'm just trying to eject some enthusiasm into this rag-tag group!"

Upon two stone columns, were two stone monsters. At first, they really did look like two statues, but a closer look revealed they just barely had their eyes open, waiting for the right moment to strike.

"This is absolutely amazing! Look at the craftsmanship!" gawked Goombella, giving the columns a light poke. Suddenly, the rocks began to shake and practically come alive! They thudded to the ground and stomped after the little group. Mario got on the defense as it rammed right into his shin. Goombella instantly blurted out that nothing they had would work on them, since they were made of stone, after all.

"Just use the POW Block," Link stated in an obvious matter.

"yes Mario. That should work!" Goombella agreed.

"Of course! I thought of it!"

Goombella rolled her eyes as Mario pulled out said item. He bashed head first into it, sending the foes upside down and losing their entire HP in one hit. Then, the whole room began to rumble and a spiked back door rose, giving them a way out. Link happily led the way, only to be nearly ran over by an oncoming shell. He jumped over it at the last moment and leapt over the small ledge. Mario and Goombella emerged shortly after.

"Hurry up, ya slow pokes!" Link called, ushering them to go faster. Mario sighed, and sluggishly ran to catch up, Goombella puffing after. Mario had accidentally tripped and landed in a bush near the next stone area, and he came across another POW block. Link snatched it and held it in the air.

"Yes! This is a clue that we'll be facing another set of Stone Monsters!" he chirped. Mario smacked his head.

"um, duh!" Goombella hissed, passing Link who was still in his pose. Link sulked and glumly followed behind, ready with the POW Block. When the Poker-face creatures struck the ground, Link broke the POW Block and they were gone in a flash.

"This is too easy! What'll be next? A quiz?!" Goombella scoffed. Mario shrugged. You never knew anymore.

"Well then! The faster we take this "quiz" and get the Stone Keys, the faster we can get that Crystal Star!" Link chuckled, a bit more light-hearted. Mario smiled under his mustache and led his troop forward.

Way farther down the other end of the Shhwonk Forest, was the last and deepest part, the final room. On the last column, sat the last stone creature. Mario had thought it was the one the gatekeeper was talking about, even though it seemed immobile.

"If we have to fight him, we're in trouble, since we don't even have another POW Block…" muttered Link. He tapped the base, and the room shook ten times more violently than before. Then, in the blink of an eye, the Stone's eyes opened…

"Mmmmm hmmmm hoo ha ha! You're the first contestants I've seen in a while. If you've come all the way here to Shhwonk Fortress, you must want Stone Keys. And if that's the case, then you must compete against me!"

Link leaned down to Goombella. "Toldja we're screwed."

"Don't jinx us! Sheesh!" Goombella hissed back.

"Sorry."

"If you win, I'll let you in to where the stone keys rest. However, if you lose, you will suffer a terrible fate. And by "Terrible", I mean awful. Mmm hmm hoo ha ha! So? What do you want to do?"

Link raised his sword. "I'll take you on!"

"Oh yeah!" added Mario.

"Mmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're in for it now!"

Link huddled next to Mario as lightning seemed to strike the sky outside. Could they take on this vile monster? They tried to stand their ground as the walls crumpled around them, sending them into a place only known as a…quiz show?

"Wow. Whaddya know? I was right!" Goombella chuckled nervously.

"Weird. I was expecting him to gain a body and pull out a Light Saber on us."

"That's…very logical Link."

The Stone Monster, now sporting a bowtie, was at a microphone while Mario, Link, and Goombella were in a booth.

"Hey HEY, ladies and germs! Welcome, everybody, to the 65th Super Fun Quirk Quiz! Perk up those ears! If you correctly answer five of the following questions, you win! But get three of 'em wrong, and you'll suffer a cruel and unusual punishment. Now! For the first question…"

Link: OMG!

"What's hidden in this place?"

Goombella scoffed, "You already told us it was the Stone Keys! What kind of a quiz is this?!?"

"Is that your REAL answer? Are you suuuuuuuuuuuure?"

"Duh."

The lights behind them flickered violently, signaling that they had answered correctly.

"ARRRRGGGGGHHHH! That's…correct! That question was too easy… but it only get's harder form here! Much harder!…So prepare yourself!"

Everyone: GASP!

"On to Question 2! What do one Mr. Softener and one Fire Flower cost at the shop in Petalburg?"

Link practically fell over laughing. "Oh, this is an easy one! I can't believe I was afraid of this question psh…"

"Coming from the item loving guy, I'm sure this is a cinch!" mocked Goombella.

"…um, no. I only know the fire Flower was 8 coins. I'm clueless on the Mr. Softener…"

Goombella wished she had a hand to smack her head with. Link did it for her and she fell over. Mario, however knew what the Mr. Softener was, and with Link's info, came up with a total of 16 Coins. The light flashed, indicating he was right. The Stone Creature had an episode, and repeat the same speech from last time. Link shouted out a rude comment, which Mario and Goombella yelled at him for.

"moving on! Question three! What is the name of the mayor of Petalburg?"

"What!? What kind of a question is that supposed to be?!?" wailed Link. "I just called him Old Dude and Old Geezer and…well, Old!"

"Well, I happened to do a quick reading of the guy while he was trying to guess your names…ha ha! Tink…" Goombella put in smugly.

"Shut up! What's the old coot's name?"

"Kroop. Simple."

"Are you suuuuuuuuuuuure?!"

"Yeah…c'mon! Say it's correct, go on with your speech, and hit us with the next question!"

"No! I don't wanna! We're not done yet, folks! Question four! Tell me now! Where is the Crystal Star?"

"Somewhere in a thief's hands!" Link cried.

"Are you suuuuuuuuuuuure?"

"No!" Mario muttered. He sent a look at Link who grinned innocently.

"Hooktail Castle!" shouted Goombella, getting into the spur of the moment.

"ARRRRGGGGHHH! Right again! Tell me you didn't just get your fourth right answer! It can't be true!"

"Oh, it IS! Clown Bowtie!" Link dissed confidently.

"That's it! I'm making these near impossible! Get ready for brain pain!"

"You'll be in the soup now, you…Stone!"

"Are you ready for the diabolical question five? How can one get from Petal Meadows to Rogueport?"

Everyone: Are you serious?

"Oh no…so diabolical! Dying…" faked Link.

"Seriously Mario, how did we get here?" Goombella asked.

Mario: Through a pipe.

"NOOO! ARRRGHHH! That…That's right!"

The wall returned to being of that of the last fortress of Shhwonk, and the Creature lost its bowtie.

"SO…VERY…ANGRY! I can't believe I lost! I guess I have to let you through…stupid rules!"

His column pulled back, with him spinning on it, and revealed a green pipe sticking out.

"Yay! Stone keys, here we come!" Link called, emerging down the pipe, Goombella right behind him. Mario followed shortly after. If the questions were strikingly simple, he wondered how "bad" the punishment for losing would be. He kinda wanted to find out.

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**This was originally two chapters, but both were short so I fused them. Came out great! Oh yeah, a new poll is up too! **


	7. Fuzzy Visions

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 6: Fuzzy Visions

The pipe had led to a blue sewer with two directions to take. Heading in the right archway first, Mario received the Multi-Bounce out of a red mystery box on the way. A small black furry creature instantly ambushed them.

"Fuzzy!" cried Link.

"Calm down! All they do is suck up your HP…" Goombella said with a creepy tone in her voice. "They only have 3 HP though, so we should be good."

"I KNEW that! I have experience, you know!"

Goombella rolled her eyes as Mario finished jumping on the opponent. Goombella head bonked, and Link did a dance. Poor Fuzzy didn't even get a chance to attack. Link, now feeling confident that they could take out several Fuzzies, he gained a lead on his team. Mario reached a hand out to warn him of something, but since he couldn't talk, there was practically no hope. Goombella, on the other hand, could've helped, but was too busy snickering. Link didn't realize until too late that a Fuzzy was nibbling on his leg, and another one was approaching. He let out the shrillest, girlish, scream possible. Goombella fell in a laughing fit and Mario approached to help out the poor swordsman.

"Goombella…" grunted Link.

"What? Are you mad that you actually have someone standing up to you?" she snapped smugly. Link blushed and muttered something nasty. Now that he had regained his composure, the entire gang took out three more Fuzzies before reaching the end of the tunnel.

"That was pretty easy!" Link exclaimed, snagging the Moon Stone.

"Apparently actually getting here wasn't!"

"Ha ha."

When he turned to go leave, a Fuzzy sprang up out of nowhere and attacked.

"Wow! There's four this time!" Goombella gasped.

"No duh!"

Link pulled out a Fire Flower that instantly took all four out. While blowing the smoke out, he winked.

"You knew you could use that the whole time?!?!" Goombella screeched.

"Yeah. Didn't you?" Link snickered. "Besides, I only had two, so I had to use them when I really needed them."

Mario accepted that logic and backtracked to the entry room. This time, they went the left way instead.

"The Sun Stone is most likely in this cavern…" Goombella stated. Link agreed and waddled after Mario. They repeated the same thing as last time, minus the part with Link showing weakness. Once Mario nabbed the Sun Stone, Link used his final Fire Flower on another set of four.

"See? That actually wasn't so hard!" stated Link.

"you're right! We'll have this Crystal Star in no time!" Goombella added.

When they returned to the exit, a golden Fuzzy awaited them. Mario's eyes lit up and Link prepared for a duel.

"Meeeeeeooooooorrrrrkkkkkk!" it wailed. "Hey you suspicious types! This is our place. And coming in here is rude, rude, RUDE!"

"Whoa! Sorry to knock out your mellow!" Link replied.

"Where did_ that_ come from?"

"it seemed like a good response…"

"Sorry suckers! If you want a warm welcome, too bad! Now I lunch on your head!"

The angry Fuzzy bounced over to Mario as the plumber flinched.

"You aren't so tough! We took out all your pals a long time ago!" snapped Goombella. She tattled on the foe, revealing all. Link discounted it though as Mario did a stylish jump. Link added to the pain with a slash of his sword.

"Meeee-ooof! Hey! Ow! You chumps are tougher than you look…" huffed the Fuzzy.

Just as the heroes thought they had won, a million Fuzzies rained down from the sky.

"Ah! It's a sign of the apocalypse! Fuzzies falling from the sky!" Link wailed, hacking at every one that landed on his head. The rest surrounded them and started launching themselves onto Goombella. She tried her best to block them all, but some managed to bash and bite her.

"ugh…that was so uncalled for. Forget the fuzzy horde, get the gold one!" she complained.

"okay! YARH!" Link called, aiming for the center of it all. His sword was pointed downward, and landed smack on the Golden Fuzzy. Mario dove into the fuzzy ocean also and beat out the last of the opponent's HP.

"Whoo! Level up! Again!" cheered Link. "FP, puh-lease!"

Mario took Link's lead and acquired some FP also. The Fuzzy brigade was on the verge of passing out, along with the leader.

"Meeeeeeeeee-urghhhhhhh. You got me…" whispered Gold. They all disbanded, leaving Mario, Link, and Goombella in the dark and dank sewer.

After returning to Petalburg, and recharging after their battles, the gang headed to where the Mayor had instructed them to go. It was a small area just outside of Hooktails' castle, where they were to insert the stones. On the way there, they were stopped by…

"Umm…excuse me!"

"Kooper!!" Link cheered. Koops raised an eyebrow, but continued what he wanted to say.

"it-It's Mario, right?" he asked. Mario nodded. "see, the thing is, I've been waiting here in hopes of getting to talk to you. I have to ask you something. You can say no, but I'm going to throw it out there."

Koops approached the small party. " ummmm…see…I was wondering…would you…OH PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU TO FIGHT HOOKTAIL! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!"

Mario yelped and flinched while Link recoiled.

"Ow, I think I've gone deaf…" whined Link.

"Sorry about that. See…my Dad…He went off to battle Hooktail long ago…but he never came back. I miss him, of course. I him badly. But this isn't just about avenging my Dad. Well, no…that's not true. Revenge is a part of it, I guess. A big part. But the truth is, I want to finish what Dad started. For his sake. For everyone's sake."

Mario raised a hand to show he understood. Goombella was sobbing in the background, and Link had his arms folded, half-turned away.

"I…man, this is embarrassing. See, everyone always says I'm a crybaby. A weakling. But if I can defeat Hooktail…Well, I won't be those things. I'll be strong, like my Dad. I know it'll be dangerous, but I still want to go! Please, Mario!"

Link collapsed into tears onto Koops' shoulder. "That was the most touching story I've ever heard! Wah…it's so beautiful! Goombella, hand me a tissue…"

Goombella, in equal tears, tossed him a tissue. Link blew into it, then tossed it over his shoulder. "Of course you can come! There's no way I could say no after that! Ooohh…" Koops was speechless.

Mario turned to Koops. "Okay!"

"for real? No kidding?"

"Oh yeah!"

"Yes! Thank you so much! You won't regret this!"

"Why do they always say that…" pondered Link. Koops didn't have a clue what he was talking about. "Hey Kooper-I mean, Koops! You're going to be my partner! It'll be just like old times…with Bombette."

Koops nodded, and took position behind Link. "okay Link! Let's get going-"

"Why did you just cut off?" Goombella asked. She turned to the direction Koops was looking, and saw a female koopa.

"Koops…" she half-whispered. Koops froze in his tracks. He was hoping to get away _before_ he was noticed.

"Oh…Golly…um…Hi…Hi Koopie…Koopie Koo…" stammered Koops. "Did you overhear all that?"

"She yer girlfriend?" Link snickered.

"This is **so** not the time for making fun of me…" gritted Koops between his teeth.

"Well, part of it…Koops, I THOUGHT I heard you say you're off to fight Hooktail…" she mumbled unsurely. "But…you're joking right? I mean, you're not exactly a powerhouse. He'll eat you up!"

"I know Koopie Koo. But I want to be tougher…for you…" replied her boyfriend. "So I have to do this."

"No, Koops. You don't. I mean, going off to some dangerous place? It's…it's stupid. So what if you're timid? And a bit of a crybaby? I don't care about all that. I just want you to be you. So don't go…"

"Sorry Koopie Koo. I've made up my mind. No need to worry though! I'm traveling with Mario! He's the man!"

"What about me! I'm a man!" put in Link.

"not with all those tears…"

"Shut up Fungi! I'm sensitive!"

Koopie went into a rage. "FINE! IGNOR ME!" she roared while rocketing into everyone. "STUBBORN KOOPA!" she yelled on the way back. Koops looked on back toward Petalburg.

"I'm sorry Koopie Koo…I swear to you, I will come back a stronger Koopa!" he looked up at Mario and Link. "Well guys, that's that I guess. No turning back! Hooktail Castle awaits!"

"How can you just leave after your girlfriend bashes you like that?"

"Well I certainly don't want to stick around for more!"

"Okay then. I won't pry."

And so, Mario continued to the before mentioned destination. With Koops to add some spark to the group, things were looking less dull by the moment. For everyone except for Link, at least...he still sort of felt something, just _something,_ was missing.

* * *

**Early chapter! Yay! No reasons, no excuses-I'm just in a good mood. You're welcome! *^***


	8. The Castle Has It Out For Us

**Happy, Happy, happy _early _Halloween! Man, I really wish we were at Twilight Town already-that has some hilarious "scary" parts in it! I WAS planning to post a little piece somewhere, but I can't do that without spoiling important parts of the plot so that's off...anyway, enjoy today's chapter!**

* * *

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 7: The Castle's Got It Out For Us

Back around the area where they first saw Hooktail, Mario and friends placed the Sun and Moon Stones in their respective spots. Suddenly, two blue box switches appeared.

"…twenty bucks says we're supposed to hit them."

"Yeah."

So Mario hit one first, then walked around to hit the other one. Nothing happened.

"Maybe you have to hit them at the same time!" Koops pondered, staring at the script on the side of the pipe shaped rock.

"Okay! Kooper, follow me!" Link ordered. Koops instantly obeyed, though with a hint of distain. Link launched and held him in place away from one switch, while he wandered over to the other. "Let it rip!"

Koops flung out of his suspended animation and into the switch. Link, at the same time, brought his sword down on the opposite one. The ground rumbled loudly and violently once again. Everyone's attention was directed to the "Pipe Rock" in the center of everything. The rocky pieces slowly started to lift away, revealing a pipe underneath its rocky shell. A pipe appeared in the background to let them know this was the way to Hooktail Castle.

--------

"Wow, this is ironic…" Link stated once they were just outside the castle. "I've got a sword, and I'm going to slay a dragon. Go figure."

"That is a bit cliché, I'll agree…" Koops added.

"Nevertheless! Let's go!" Link called, dashing into the open doorway.

"Link! Wait-" Goombella called, a bit too late. There was a thunderous splash, and Mario, Goombella, and Kooper found Link dangling for his life on the edge of where he dropped off the bridge.

"I think we have a bridge out…" Link groaned. Koops ran over and yanked him out, along with Mario helping him back on shore.

"You DO know that there was an upstairs, right?" Goombella teased. Link grunted something indescribable.

Mario showed Link the spring, and after replenishing his health with a Health Block, they continued out the doorway on top.

"Oh Man…Hooktail Castle…" Koops sighed while staring at the massive building. "The stories were all true…this place is TERRIFYING!"

Mario transformed into a Paper Airplane, and flew everyone across the murky moat. Trust Link, he knew it was murky. Once safely on the other side, they _really_ entered Hooktail Castle.

"It…seems empty and lonely…" stated Koops.

Link made a whimper noise.

"No time to be like a dog! There are enemies in this room!" called Goombella, ready to take action against a Troopa. Link snapped back to reality and joined in the battle. It was pretty simple to take down. Goombella, Tattled, Mario jumped, Koops Shell tossed, and Link finished with a slash. Just as that battle was finished, a Paratroopa swooped into Link's gut. Another Paratroopa and a normal Troopa accompanied this foe. Mario began with another jump onto one of the Paratroopas, and Goombella Headbonked the next one. This allowed Koops to use his Power Shell on all of the foes, and Link finished off the one in the front. The Paratroopa, now a plain Troopa, managed to get up from the ground. The other Troopa, however, shot into Mario's knee.

_"I'm taking you out first!"_ Mario grumbled in his mind. This was carried out in the form of a Multi-Bounce, destroying the Troopa. Goombella and Link took out the last one, and they gained some money and some life.

"Wow, these things are pretty stubborn!" complained Link.

"Careful guys…there's one more!" Goombella pointed out.

"Give it up, fiends!" Koops cried. Mario rolled his eyes. He simply outmaneuvered it, reaching the door unharmed. Link, Koops, and Goombella followed suit, just barely having the Para-shell missing their backs.

"Dang! We just started, and I'm already shaken up!" Koops shivered.

"Well get used to it. There'll be more where that came from!" Link told him. Koops considered the logic, only to be interrupted by a pile of bones with blue shoes.

"Oh…OH NOOOOOOO!" he wailed, sprinting over to the sight. Link, Mario, and Goombella followed after him.

"These bones…they remind me of my father…" he said silently. "There…There's no doubt about it! These are my father's bones! DAAAAAADD!

"Whoa…that's deep man…" Link replied.

"Um, wait. What's this? Mario! Link! My father's clutching some kind of letter. Or at least…ugh…his bones are." Koops gently slid the frail and old paper out from between his late father's fingers. His hands shook as he looked at it. "So…what should I do? Should I read it?"

"Of course! It could have valuable info!" Goombella yipped.

"Or maybe-oh I don't know- something a little more important like saying good-bye to his son!" Link snapped back. "Sheesh, what a noob…"

"Noob?! I bet you don't even know what that means!"

"I bet **you** don't either!"

"So?"

Mario swung his hammer over both of their heads to get them to shut up and listen to Koops.

"Um…okay. I'll…I'll read it. Ahem…"

_I came to this castle to destroy Hooktail, but I am stuck and can go no further. So in this note I shall note Hooktail's following weaknesses to those that follow. The dreaded Hooktail cannot tolerate creatures that begin with 'cr' and end in 'icket'. Hidden somewhere in this castle is an item related to Hooktail's weakness. If one is to have any hope of defeating Hooktail, one must first find that item. One last thing: if faced with the ultimate doom, the fiend will use any trick to save itself. If you hope to defeat it, do not give into you kinder nature. (insert something about him being able to write nothing more and bla…) My last words go to my son, Kolorado: I love you, and I'm proud of what you've become._

"WHAT! Who could be proud of that nearly suicidal explorer archeologist?" guffawed Link. "What's more surprising, how did his father end up here?!"

"Huh?! My son KOLORADO? Not KOOPS?" Koops gasped. "Oooooooooooooops…Umm…yeah, I guess this isn't my father after all. But if this isn't my father, I wonder if that pile of bones over THERE is my dad…"

"What? Do you mean those red ones over there guarding the door?" Link pointed out.

"Yeah, they look kinda suspicious…" added Goombella.

"uh-huh!"

"Well…let's go check it out then!"

Mario trotted over and poked the bones in the skull. The skeleton started to rapidly shake.

"OMG! They're, like, alive!" squealed Goombella.

"Blarf harf harf HARF! You clearly don't value your lives much if you've come to the castle to disturb us. You will go no father, and from this moment on, you'll be nothing but bones!" they shrieked.

"I don't think that's your father either…" Link chuckled nervously.

"Gee, what was your first clue? The creepy red color, the deep life-threatening voice, or the fact it's sending a thousand Dull Bones to KILL us?!?!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

The group was being shoved back to the door they entered from. Everyone tried their best to push through, but man, they were strong for being dead!

"What's with these numbskulls!" howled Koops. "Ow…OW! Watch it pushy! They're shoving me around Mario! What should we do?"

"BRING IT ON!" Link roared, sword held high. He mindlessly swung and hacked at the nearest enemy, hitting Goombella twice and Mario once. Mario made a yelp noise, also sending a glare in Link's direction.

"Sorry, ya gotta hit them randomly! It's the only way to get back to Red Bones!" the swordsman shouted back, slicing a head off a set of bones. Mario got the idea and pounded his hammer whenever he could. Using this sheer teamwork, they reached Red Bones once again, in the shape of a duel. Red Bones had four Dull Bone helpers. Mario let Link go first, then Link let Koops go first. Koops used his Power Shell to take out all of the Dull Bones. When he returned, he did a rotating headstand, showing that he performed a stylish move.

"Sweet!" put in Goombella.

"Pish. That was nothing. Check this out!" Link scoffed. Link brought his sword way behind him, then charged at Red. He hacked with a mighty force, then tossed his sword in the air and spun it stylishly.

"That is so cheap…" he grunted. "Stupid high defenses. I could've beaten him!"

Red Bones tossed a red bone at Koops face, stealing two away from him. Mario attacked with the Power Smash, destroying Red Bones once and for all.

"He only had 5 HP after all…" Goombella pointed out. All the Dull Bones got scared and ran off, hopefully to never be seen again.

They ran into one in the next room.

"So much for that dream…" murmured Goombella. They very easily destroyed that one, along with all the other ones in the room.

"Hey…what's that!" Link pointed out, running to a shining block in the shadows. He jumped under it, causing a Shine Sprite to appear into his hands. "I wonder what this is for…"

The Sprite reminded him of a fairy back in Hyrule, the way it shined and sparkled… Mario snapped his fingers in front of Link's face, getting his attention.

"Oh, sorry. I was involved in this awesome…thing."

With Link undistracted, they made their way to the other end of the room, where things got a bit complicated. There were two cement blocks, with a yellow and purple one around those ones, and in a lever below that were yellow and purple switches.

"Follow my lead…" Link stated. He had Mario drop the purple block, giving him access to climb onto the cement one. He and Koops leapt across the small gap onto the next one, broke the yellow cube on top, and told Mario to hit the yellow switch. When Mario did, the yellow block rose, giving Link and Koops a chance to hit the red switch just beyond where they were. The stairs suddenly flip-flopped, leading upward to a ledge opposite of where Link and Koops were. Mario climbed up the stairs, but needed Koops to get the key. Link sent his partner over. They nabbed the key, swapped the stairs back, unlocked the door, and finally headed into the next room.

"Huh…it looks like there's two ways to go!" Goombella observed. There was a green block to go up, and a door to go through.

"I say we go through the door!" Koops decided. "It might have something we need for the upper floor!"

"Good call! Let's go!" Link agreed. Mario nodded, and opened the door. A Paragoomba was there to greet them, but it was destroyed easily. They continued on, into what was like a jail room. In one of the cells was a mysterious badge, and in another was a hole that led to another room. Link noticed the switch, and explained another plan.

"Okay…Kooper- drat! KOOPS. I'll shoot you away from the switch and hold you, then when me, Mario, and Goombella are around the cell door, you let loose and we get in, then you just use your following power to...follow us. Okay?"

Koops shrugged, and did what he was told. Once the other three were in place, he slammed into the switch, and the jail door suddenly rose. Mario, Link, and Goombella quickly rushed in, and Koops managed to make it behind them right before the door closed.

"Oh my gosh…another lame Curse Chest!" Goombella yelped.

"Hooray!" cheered Link. Everyone looked at him weird. "Uhhh…I mean, Oh no! They'll do something totally bad to us!"

Mario rolled his eyes and tapped the chest. It wriggled around for three seconds. "What the heck? Hey! Guests! It's been a long time since anyone came here! A REAL long time!"

"I bet it has…" muttered Link.

"…huh? You heard me? Wow! Wait a sec'…if you can hear me, you must be some legendary hero or something!"

Mario nodded. Just as Link was about to make a comment, the chest answered for him.

"Or not! To be honest, I'm sure anyone with ears could hear me…but it sure is fun zinging people with that whole 'legendary hero' bit."

"I KNEW IT!"

"Hey, but seriously folks, I was wondering if you could let me out of this chest…? I've been locked up so long, I'm beginning to cramp up like you wouldn't believe…"

"Sure dippy do!" Link instantly answered, ready to be cursed.

_"This guy is such a sucker…" _"All you have to do is find the key and let me out…"

Mario spoke up.

"Huh? What do you mean? You think you'll be cursed if you open the box? Ridiculous! Who would do that, really? Wait in a box and curse folks! A real slime ball, that's who! But I'm not a real slime ball, and I would do no such thing. But that should be obvious."

Mario really didn't trust the crate, but Link seemed all for it. The box noticed he was losing them and quickly tried to redeem himself.

"Look, if you help me out, maybe I'll help you out. You know, I-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-mine! Only in reverse order."

"Okay!" Link cheered. He skipped happily over to the only other door in the room. Everyone smacked their heads. The moment they got in, Mario knew something about it wasn't right. It was like his own "Sonic Sense" was going off. There was weird paths on the ground, along with holes meant for...something. That was not a good sign…

"C'mon! I see a small chest over here!" Link urged. When he retrieved the black key, the room turned into an earthquake. Spikes shot up from the ground, and worse, there were more coming down from the ceiling!

"Ummm…L-look at that!" Koops gasped. Link looked up and saw the spikes. "Oh, I don't like the looks of this…C'mon! Run!"

"THIS CASTLE IS TRYING TO_** KILL**_ US!" wailed Link, having a spaz attack. Mario remained calm and showed his friends the way out. Link occasionally tripped onto a spike or two when he took a wrong turn, and Koops was breathing in too much and nearly passed out. The spikes got closer with every time consuming second they wasted. Soon, it got so low, it brushed against Link's hat and caused him to crawl.

"Hurry! Mario! I'm too young and beautiful to die!" he cried. Mario was on the last path to the exit, and shoved everyone though the door just as the spikes pricked Mario's hat, and Link was nearly on the floor. Link, Koops, and Goombella were all in a piled heap, freaking out.

"Man…that was TOO close!" Koops wheezed. "Gotta shake it off…hoo. Ok. We got the key, so let's go open that spooky chest."

"Uurrrggghhh…I can't feel my legs…or walk…" whispered Link, crashing to the ground in a feeble attempt to take a step.

"You just lay there while we go unlock the chest," Goombella demanded.

"Nooooooo! I wanted to be cursed!"

Mario returned to the chest, key ready and all.

"Hey there! Boy, I am SO glad you found that key! Unbelievable!"

Mario slid the key in the lock, turned it, and awaited what was to come.

"WHEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! FOOOOOOLS!"

Mario: Totally saw that one coming.

He was teleported away to get his curse, leaving Goombella with Link and Koops.

"This is so not fair! Just as he leaves, I get better! It's like fate didn't want me to be cursed for some reason!"

"Yes, life sure is cruel to you!"

When Mario returned, he demonstrated that he could turn sideways and slip through cracks. This is how they escaped out of the cell.

"I wish I had a cool power like that…" sighed Link as Mario received the badge in the other cell. He equipped it, and all his noises sounded like a cricket.

"Yay! That's the thing that exposes Hooktail's weakness!" Goombella hurrahed.

"Hey! Now that you can slide through jail cells, you can go get that key I saw in a previous room!" Koops told Mario once they were back at the room with the green block. Mario nodded, and told them to wait there. Once he left, Link collapsed.

"What the heck was that for?!?!" yelped Koops.

"Don't know. Just felt like it." Goombella trotted in front of his head and looked down at him.

"I seriously worry about you…"

"Well don't! I don't want you to!"

Goombella smirked. "Aha! Something _is_ bothering you!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"At least get up from off the floor!"

Link sighed, and did what he was told. "Soooo…Kooper-GUH! Koops! How's the adventure so far?"

Koops shrugged. "Nothing much…just got ambushed by a few dead Koopas, nearly pulverized by some spikes…no big deal!"

Link grinned. Finally, Mario returned. Link jumped for joy and ran up the stairs to the block. Mario and Goombella accompanied him, and Koops was sent out to hit the switch. They were on their way to the second floor of the castle…and one level closer to Hooktail and the Crystal Star.

* * *

**The very first time Link mistook Koops for Kooper was on purpose, but while writing this chapter and the next one, I was so used to writing "Kooper" that I didn't bother changing it at all. So, expect Link's name error a bit often ;) **

**Next time: On the second floor of Hooktail Castle, the gang continues to work their way up, meeting myserious people, finding exclusive items, and just being idiots (mostly in Link's case though). **

**Link: I feel so insulted! But anyway, hope you _scare_ up a good time tomorrow! Mwahahahahaha! Oh jeez, I sounded like Goombario...**

**Ah, Link...**


	9. Dunces to Dragon

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 8: Dunces to Dragon

They hopped down a small set of stairs, with two paths. One was a locked door, the other was another small flight of stairs with an inaccessible badge. Mario obviously unlocked the door and entered. Link was the first to see the switch, so he went over and hit it. A mini bridge unraveled, leading them the rest of the way across the room. He almost fell off the edge of the second one, since he got overly excited, but luckily Koops saved the day by hitting the other switch before that happened.

"Eeeeeee…" Link moaned.

"Happy to be of service." Koops admitted. They were about to carry on, but there was another floor outage and no switch.

"Through the window!" cried Goombella. The gang jumped through the window, went all the way to the left, and jumped out another window.

"That was weird…" Link stated. "But whatever. Onward!"

Mario agreed and let them to the next area. The moment they walked inside it, a mad Dull Bone rose to life. Considering it's even weaker than a Goomba, I'm sure the group took it out very quickly. Honestly, 1 HP?!?

"Man! They make _Goombas_ look strong, and that's saying something!" commented Link.

"HEY!" Goombella cried. Link gave a look like he didn't know what she was talking about. "You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

"You're not supposed to read the text!"

Mario: Just get Koops to hit the switch already!

"Well then Mario! I think I WILL!"

Once all but Koops were on the block, Koops released his hold and slammed into the switch, raising them up once again. There were two more options to go, and two enemies. Both were trashed easily. Now, one door was locked, so they obviously took the door to the left.

"Whoa…" Link trailed. A small white mouse was in the center of four chests, one of which was open. She heard the intruders and quickly turned to the sound.

"Huh? Oh my! Who's _this_ handsome piece of cheese?" she squeaked. "I can't believe there are other thieves here besides me. How very strange…"

"Ah! I'm glad someone happened to notice me…" Link chuckled while striking a light pose.

"I don't think she's talking to you…" Goombella implied.

"What! Of course she is! Who else in this room is handsome?"

"H-Hey! Who are you?" Koops quivered.

"Me? Why, I'm Ms. Mowz, the globe-trotting thief! Heard of me sweetie?" she answered with a gleam in her eye. Link felt woozy. "I heard there were rare and valuable badges here in this castle. That's why I'm here. But the real question is…why are people like YOU roaming in such a run-down place like this?"

Link suddenly was wearing a tuxedo and bow tie from absolutely nowhere. "We just happen to be adventure lovers, and searching for a very amazing treasure! Better than your meager badge hunting dream…"

"Your voice doesn't sound smooth at all, loser…" muttered Goombella. Link kicked her.

"Um…well…you see, We're here to beat Hooktail and get the um…Crystal Star. So…don't think we'll let you get the Crystal Star first, no matter how cute you are!" Koops exclaimed.

"Which is_ vvvvvvvv_-ery, by the way…" Link added while sliding up to her.

"Crystal Star you say? Mmmmm hmmm hmmm hmm! I didn't know a thing like THAT was hidden in this castle! Sounds intriguing! Perhaps I just heard something you didn't want me hearing? Mmm hmm hmm hmm!"

Koops mentally smacked his head. "Darn!"

"Darn? That's more than darn! She'll try to go after it now!" Link huffed.

"Oh, but that's okay…you _were_ looking for this Crystal Star first…and I already found the badge I was looking for, so I'll let you have you Crystal star."

"Good! You wouldn't want to mess with us!" Link defended. Ms. Mowz chuckled, then trotted over to Mario. After a comment from Goombella and Koops, the mouse thief planted a smooch on Mario's cheek.

"HEY! I want one too!" whined Link.

"Sorry, you're too tall…" she squealed. Link pouted to the extreme. Goombella snickered. Ms. Mowz refocused her attention to Mario. "Mmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! It means I must say bye-bye for now, Mr. Cutie. I know. It's sad. We just met, and already it is time to say farewell. Alas."

She boldly flipped onto an open windowsill that everyone else couldn't reach. Koops was struck with awe.

"Oh my! You're so…bold! Is that legal?"

"Oh, I almost forgot…I have a little secret to share with you. Somewhere in this castle is a badge that'll help you best Hooktail, or so I've heard. I don't know what kind of badge it is. Maybe you found it already, maybe not. If you're going to fight Hooktail, I'd recommend finding that badge first." Ms. Mowz shrugged. "Well, take care, my handsome mustache man! Let's get together again real soon!"

She disappeared within the blink of an eye.

"What a floozy!" Goombella barked.

"I wonder what her story is…I bet it's an interesting one…full of romance…"

"What're you going on about man?" Link questioned. "Hey…I wonder if I grow I mustache, she'll like me too?"

"Keep dreaming…" Goombella input. Link scowled at her while tearing off the tuxedo in one pull. Mario ignored everyone to grab a key to the other door, a mushroom (that Link quickly took), a Honey Syrup (Link took that too), and another Shine Sprite. They left the room, crossed the hall, unlocked the door, and prepared to finish the rest of the castle escapade. The moment the door shut, a mysterious figure appeared in the window.

"Hey. It's me again. I've just lost Ms. Mowz's trail! Ugh…I'm still on her, of course, but she sure is tricky and nimble, though I'm sure she doesn't even know she's being followed…don't worry. I know where she's probably headed next. I'm out…"

The figure shut off the communication device they were using. It thought it had heard something moments earlier.

"The people in the room with her, the ones that prevented me from capturing her…were they Mario and Link? …no, and even if they were, I don't care. I've got a more important mission to attend to anyway…"

The figure sighed, disappeared from the window, jumped off the side of the castle and landed in the moat.

-------

Mario and company demolished two Dull Bones, jumped over a Troopa, and came to another puzzle. Mario notice a yellow block, leading up somewhere.

"Maybe if we go up there, we can jump down onto the little area with the door leading out!" suggested Link. Mario decided it was worth a shot. He brought the yellow block down, had Link hold Koops in place, got on the block, and let Koops hit the switch. They rose to the top, only to find a little less floor than they thought.

"So much for my idea!" snorted Link.

"How can you even call that an idea?" sniffed Goombella. Link muttered something nasty. They carefully inched their way across the landing until they reached a safe spot to lean on. Mario made them paper thin, and slipped through the crack onto an airplane pad. Mario transformed into a little paper airplane, with everyone jumping aboard. They sailed a little ways, landing perfectly on the footing before the door.

"That wasn't too difficult…I didn't fall off the side of that!" cheered Koops.

"Cool."

Mario headed forward, ONCE AGAIN discovering two ways to go.

"Looks like there's two many ways to go!"

"Link, Link, Link..."

Taking the lower way, Link moved a large yellow block out of the way so he could use Koops to locate a key. Then they backtracked, going up a higher set of stairs. They were a bit twisty (but nothing compared to what they were about to experience). Mario acquired another Shine Sprite hiding in the shade as Link unlocked the medium door that was sure to lead up to Hooktail's lair.

"We're almost there folks…" he said. Mario regained the leader position, and led his team outside. A long narrow bridge filled with Troopa lay before them. After taking down all three, Mario and Link leveled up once again.

"Man! Leveling up is easier these days!" laughed Link while bumping his HP. Mario snagged some BP instead. Once all the celebrating was finished, they looked up…at the spiral staircase.

"I'm going to pass out and die!" moaned Link.

"I'm with you there, dude…" agreed Koops.

"Sack up a little! How can you call yourselves men?" Goombella complained.

"I'm afraid of heights!" screamed Koops.

"oh well! Let's go Mario!"

Mario nodded, and began the long spinning climb. Halfway up, Koops got dizzy and tumbled several flights back down. Three fourths of the way there, Link literally DID pass out, causing him to fall and plow into Koops who was slowly catching up to them all.

"AW BUTTER! I HAVE TO DO IT ALL AGAIN!"

Mario sighed and shook his head.

"Weakling…" murmured Goombella. They had to wait an extra 15 minutes for Link and Koops to climb all the way back up, beat up a Spiky Goomba, and get over their fear of heights. Link hit the Life-Up Block to regain his strength, and asked Koops if he was ready to go.

"Yeah! Hooktail, you're going to pay for everything!" Koops cried while shaking a fist.

"Now THAT'S what I wanna hear!" Goombella giggled. Mario smiled, and he and Link heaved open the two large doors that separated them, and their first boss.

* * *

**50 reviews before we even hit 10 chapters?! Awesome!! So here's to a little celebration (and I absolutely hate making you wait a week for chapters under 2,000 words. Pet peeve, I guess.) Though the boss chapter isn't much longer, but I think I'll have something to make up for that ;)**


	10. Hooked Tail: She Plays Hooky

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 9: Hook-ed-Tail: She Plays Hooky

_Link hit the Life-Up Block to regain his strength, and asked Koops if he was ready to go._

_"Yeah! Hooktail, you're going to pay for everything!" Koops cried while shaking a fist. _

_"Now THAT'S what I wanna hear!" Goombella giggled. Mario smiled, and he and Link heaved open the two large doors that separated them, and their first boss._

"Wow…this is a big room…" stated Link.

"And that a bigger dragon!" Koops wailed.

"Who dares approach me?" a low deep, growling voice boomed. The little rag-tag team looked up into the eyes of a fierce red dragon. "hmm…so…you are friends of the strange-garbed one who came earlier?"

"_Dad…"_ grunted Koops.

"I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I protect…Such rashness…That was foolish, I fear. Do you really think you can beat me?"

"You'd better believe it!" Link hissed.

"But you're so small. And you don't appear tasty. I suppose you might make a good snack, and the bottoms of your feet smell like they might make a good sauce with some spices. What I'll do it sauté you to a crispy goodness and gobble you down…HEADFIRST!"

"Hey! I might be good-looking, but I am NOT tasty, so you can just forget about it!" Link shouted. "Eat the mushroom instead!"

"Link!!"

Link ignored her, and brandished his sword. Mario took a fierce fighting stance. Hooktail chuckled deeply.

"Snack time, you little appetizers! But which one of you should I eat first?"

"YOU CAN EAT OUR DUST! Right after we serve you a helping of defeat! I heard that if you taste defeat, we'll also dish out some pain! Then maybe get things cooking with-"

"Will you quit ranting?" Goombella boomed.

"Yeah, how are we supposed to dish out pain _after_ Hooktail tasted defeat?" Koops added.

"…kill-joys…"

Mario sweat dropped and started to fight with a Power Smash. His Sound FX badge began to creak, making Hooktail become suddenly woozy.

"Bleck! That awful sound! It…sounds like a cricket! How did you know…" the dragon grumbled. "Stop that this instant! Urp…I got really bad…ugh.. food poisoning when I ate a cricket. I HATE them! Oh…fight it Hooky…just hearing a cricket chip makes me feel woozy!"

Goombella Headbonked next, doing it stylishly by doing a flip. Hooktail then followed up with a blast of fiery hot breath.

"Tee hee… you guys got burned…literally!" Link pointed out. Goombella had a little flame on her foot, causing her to freak out. While Link cackled at her, he performed hack and Koops used his Shell Slam.

"ooooogg….Must…not gag…My poor tummy…uuuuurrrrpppp…so very woozy…"

Hooktail took a few stomps over to Link and brought down a massive foot on top of his head. Link went "derr…" after that, but Mario knew he could slay the dragon. Hooktail's HP was already down to five! What a cakewalk! Mario took this chance and Power Bounced the boss, eventually killing it single-handedly.

"W-wait! Hold up a moment!" Hooktail cried. "I give up! Please! I won't be so bad anymore. I promise! In fact, I'm sorry! For everything! Er…Yeah…"

_"Yeah right…"_ thought Mario to himself.

"To prove it, I'll give you 1,000 coins! Can you forgive me?"

Kolorado's father's letter rang throughout Link's head. He motioned to Mario to say no. Mario gave him a thumbs up and a wink.

Mario: Nope.

"What! You must be joking! You don't need any coins? The how about the lovely, rare, extra-special badge I have? I'll give you that. It's one of a kind! It's yours for a limited time only! Will you take it?"

Mario: Nah…

"Err…really? Well, I suppose I could apologize by letting you sniff the bottoms of my feet. People pay good money to do this. I'm being completely honest right now. Really. So? Care to take a whiff of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet?"

Link made a horribly disgusted face. "That's disgusting!"

"No kidding!"

Hooktail let out a huffy breath. "Hrrrrrrrrm! You aren't a very trusting fellow, are you? It's important to be able to trust someone, you know…"

"Don't trust anyone anymore…" muttered Link under his breath.

"Er…I guess I'd better…"

Hooktail slowly backed away.

"HEY! Where do you think YOU'RE going?!?"

Hooktail romped into the audience, chowing down on several Toads and Goombas. Everyone was horrified.

"That's just not right!" guffawed Koops.

"They may be mushrooms, but I'd never eat them!" Link squalled.

"Ohhhh ho ho ho ho ho! Ahhh! Now my strength has returned to me!"

"I've had enough of this! Let's finish this guy off Link!" Koops growled.

"Hm…I think 'he's' actually a girl, but that's a different story…" Link pondered, following everyone else. It was Link's turn again, and he used Hack once again. Koops slammed his shell into the dragon for some damage too. Some audience member tumbled out of the mouth, perfectly unharmed.

"Burp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear an...urp…cricket?"

Hooktail advanced to the swordsman, biting down on his body. Link was horribly scarred after that. Mario Power Bounce one more time, defeating the dragon once and for all.

"Yeah! Woot woot!" cheered Link.

"Hurrah!" added Koops.

Hooktail literally keeled over, causing an earthquake when "he" landed on "his" back.

"Wow! We actually pulled it off Mario!" Koops celebrated. "Now all we have to do is find that Crystal Star thing you're looking for."

Mario nodded.

"Yeah! It doesn't appear that Hooktail's literally guarding it anywhere…" Link pointed out. Suddenly, Hooktail began gurgling, and sputtering, eventually coughing up a small blue object. It ended up being a blue Koopa Shell, and an old elderly koopa popped out of it.

"YAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I'm out! I'm finally out!" he cheered.

"Kooper!" Link squealed.

"That can't be this Kooper you keep talking about…because that's Koops' dad!" Goombella scoffed.

"WHOA! It…it can't be!" Koops gasped.

"Eh?" the older turtle said.

"Da…Dad?!?" Koops cried again.

"Hey! You're…you're Koops! Hey Son! you've gotten so big since I saw you last!" His dad exclaimed.

"Well, yeah…I guess I have… but who cares, Dad? I mean, golly! What happened to you? Where have you been all this time?"

"I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was well and good…But just before my finishing blow, he played a trick on me and gobbled me whole! I've been hiding in my shell for ten years since then…inside Hooktail's belly! And boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Koops shook his head. "Honestly Dad…Don't you know how worried about you we all were? For ten long years we thought you'd...you know! We thought your game was over!"

"Oh…sorry son but…I'm ok! That's good right? We're together now right? Hey, speaking of which, What are you doing here anyway?"

Koops attempted to look important. "Oh, come on Dad…I came here to defeat Hooktail, who's been wreaking havoc in town! And Mr. Mario and Link here are looking for a gem called the Crystal Star!"

"! Crystal Star? This wouldn't be what you're talking about, would it?" Koops' dad asked, pulling out a sparkly star shaped stone. Link flipped.

"That's the exact same object those goons stole from me! Well, not the same, but that's what the shape and texture was…just the color is different! I'm sure of it now!" he explained.

"I found it down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I kept it as a souvenir. So…this is the thing you're looking for? Perfect! Just perfect! You can have it!"

"Really?" asked Link.

"C'mon now! I won't take no for an answer. You're Koops' friend. Please take it!"

"okay!"

Mario trotted five steps to the Crystal Star. It suddenly came alive and swirled around Mario, hovering above his head. It landed in his hands, at the same time propping it up.

"Yeah!" "Woo!" "All right!"

Now with the Diamond Star literally in hands, along with the new Earth Tremor move, they were one-seventh closer to stopping whatever evil force was out to get the world…and also to saving the girls…

As the thought entered Link's mind, he wondered whatever _did_ happen to Peach, Zelda, and Amy…

* * *

**And now, I present the first chapter of a little thing called "Boss Weekend". Whenever there's a boss chapter, I post that on Friday, Peach on Saturday, and Bowser on Sunday! Whoo! Of course, things'll be changed around a bit for the final one, but let'a not think about that now, m'kay? ;)**


	11. Words From Your Girlfriends

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 10: Words From Your Girlfriends

In an unknown location, inside a huge metallic fortress, two small X-nauts entered a large chamber. In-between them were Peach, Zelda, and Amy. All three were dying to know what in the world was going on. The X-nauts gave a secret signal, and continued onward. They passed Lord Crump, waiting patiently for something. The girls were left at the foot of the stairs. Amy looked up into a way larger X-naut, with a large dome head and a staff.

"O great, exalted Grodus! We brought the Princess Peach you ordered, sir!" one X-naut chirped. Peach was probably the most worried one of all.

"Yes…but why are these other two with her?" the Grodus man growled.

"They were with her when we captured her, and were the only witnesses so…yeah."

"I suppose we can find a purpose for them…" he mused. Grodus then turned the focus to Peach. "Well well well, my pet…isn't it about time you told us where the map is?"

Peach looked down and said nothing. Grodus turned to glare at Peach. He was calm, but his voice betrayed his anger. "Princess Peach. You will speak when spoken to."

Peach placed one hand over her other hand, lifted her head, and put on the most innocent look she could. "I'm telling you, I don't know."

"There's no point in trying to hide it silly girl. We know you had it. We KNOW this."

Zelda just had to open her big mouth. "Well, so what if we had it! We don't anymore, so you can get off our backs you big fat jerks!"

Grodus appeared amused. "trust me; it's very much in your interest to be absolutely honest with us. We

X-nauts are not all rainbows and lollipops you know. We're quite nasty."

"So are we!"

The X-nauts stifled laughter. Zelda's glare made them change their minds.

"…" murmured Peach.

Suddenly, on a screen behind them another X-naut appeared.

"Grodus sir! I have news!" he yipped.

"Report at once."

"You know that Crystal Star we thought maybe Hooktail had? Well, someone nabbed it."

"What! WHAT did you say? Someone else is after the Crystal Stars?" Grodus was outraged. "And he defeated that Hooktail creature you say? SPEAK solider!"

"Yes sir. Sorry sir. There's more too. See, according to the report…it was a mustached dude in a red hat and overalls and an overgrown elf in a green gnome suit who pulled the job."

Peach and Zelda did a double take. "Mario!" "Link?!"

Grodus heard their sudden outbursts and inched forward. "Excuse me? Mario? Link?"

"Oh no!" "Crap."

"Nice going you two!" Amy scoffed. Both princesses gave her a dark look.

"Gaack ack ack ack ack! I see…so you know of these people, do you? Hmmm…" cackled Grodus. Zelda folded her arms and turned away.

"I may have heard the name…" she stated.

"These fools matter not at all. I'll know about them before long, that I promise."

Zelda hid a growl, making Amy wave her hand in front of her face to get her to snap out of it. Grodus grew bored of talking, so he had the X-nauts drag the three back to the room they were trapped in.

"And men! Take good care of Princess Peach. Understand? She must not be harmed."

"You got it sir! But What about the one with the striking pink dress?"

"They're ALL in pink dresses! Well, besides the hedgehog, but she is pink…"

"I meant the loudmouth."

"I could care less."

Zelda had to be pulled by three more X-nauts, now put into a frenzy about how he had called Link a fool.

"If I get my hands on you, I'm gonna do something so bad…" she hissed. "LET ME GO!"

"I do not fear you mortal."

Zelda went on a rant of bad words until she was forced through the door. Grodus shook his head. He glanced over at Lord Crump. "Well Lord Crump…if this Mario character has the map…then it's highly likely he'll find the Crystal Star we're hunting in the Boggly Woods. You must return there immediately and hasten the excavation. It must not fail."

Lord Crump snapped out of his daydream "Whuzzat? Oh yeah sure! Roger, Grodus. And with that…Pow! I'm gone!" He quickly waddled off.

Grodus sighed. "I wonder if sending Lord Crump out there alone is wise…he is a bit…out there. Hmmm…" he swirled around. "X-naut! I summon you!"

An X-naut appeared on the scene. "You rang dude? I mean sir? Sir Grodus dude? Sir Grodus sir?" he rambled.

"Shut up. Go get the Shadow Sirens over here."

"The Sh-Shadow Sirens sir? But They…"

"I don't care how you planned to end that sentence fool. Go get them. Now."

"Gotcha!"

The X-naut disappeared briefly. A creepy witch voice suddenly filled the room.

"The honorable Grodus had need of us? Then we arrive without delay."

A small shadow with a blue hat, a fat one with a yellow hat, and a pink haired one with a red hat arrived from out of the floor.

"Mmmwee hee hee hee hee hee! Pray tell, did the princess tell you where the map is?" the blue one creaked.

"Still your tongue, Beldam. We would already have it if you had snatched her earlier…" grumbled Grodus. "But now, since you missed your chance, some poor fools named Mario and Link have the map."

Beldam was appalled. "It wasn't my fault, truly! They were too many praying eyes out there. Too many…Besides, a strange old man showed up at the moment of truth, along with a bunch of losers on a ship, and we had to retreat. Why worry? All we need to do now is find this Mario and his friend and steal the map, yessss?"

"Indeed, that is YOUR duty. Must I remind you? That map is vital to the X-naut plan. I will have all my men prepare all available information on this Mario. For now, hear me Beldam! You Shadow Sirens must take care of these troublemakers!"

"Mmmmwee hee hee hee! Fear not, sire. I, Beldam, shall return with what you seek." she turned to her sisters. "Let's go my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian! Come! We've got a job to do!"

"Guhhhhhh…" Marilyn moaned, following her sister into the floor.

"Mmm hm hm hm!" Vivian giggled, following suit.

* * *

In the horrible place that could barely be described as a "Room", Peach simply stood in a frozen fear, one hand under her cheek, the other place under her elbow. Zelda was laying bored and highly upset on the bed, and Amy was going berserk, trying to do Spin Dashes into a wall. Zelda was tired of the thrashing and sat up.

"Will you knock it off Amy? You're not fast enough to do a Spin Dash, you know that, and your hammer isn't strong enough to break through the wall so just give up!" snapped Zelda.

"At least I'm trying to do something! You and Peach are just lounging around!"

"We're thinking of a plan, duh! Isn't that right Peach?" Zelda asked. Peach didn't answer. She was lost in her own world.

"Oh dear, here we go again…I can't believe I'm kidnapped again."

"I can."

"Mario and Toadsworth must be worried sick. Again."

"Yeah! Getting taken to some weird place without a clue about what this is _all_ about!" Amy added, finally sitting down to rest. Peach lit up.

"Hang on a moment…Where in this world are we anyway? It's so unfamiliar…"

"Maybe we are in a different world!" guessed Zelda.

"I don't think the X-nauts are able to teleport…"

"How would you know?"

"I wish I could let Mario and Toadsworth-"

"-and Link!"

"-know that I've been caught."

"I'm sure they know…" muttered Amy.

Zelda stretched. "Well, I don't know about you two, but I need a refreshing shower! There's one in that room over there, and I'm going first!"

**Hour Later…**

Zelda came out with a half-up ponytail, looking and feeling sparkly. Peach wanted to take a shower next, and Amy was too good to use a shower in some strange place.

**Half an Hour Later…**

Just as Peach had stepped out of the shower, a sudden power outage occurred, though it only lasted a second. The girls didn't notice it. Peach reentered the room with her hair completely up, and Amy said she should wear it like that more often. After Amy had said that, there was a sudden whooshing noise, and the door opposite to where they were standing opened.

"Hm? What was that? Hey! How odd…the doors opened up all by themselves…" pondered Peach.

"I smell adventure! Let's go!" Zelda urged. There was nothing better to do, so they headed out the door. A small corridor with an elevator was all that lie before them.

"Weird…it doesn't look like…anyone's around!" Peach noticed.

"What was your first clue? Zelda scoffed.

"Maybe that other door opening for us? Amy asked, pointing down the hall.

"How odd…"

-----

"Oh my God, a computer…" Zelda exclaimed upon entering the room. The lights slowly flickered on, and a robotic voice echoed through the room.

"Hello Princess Peach." it said.

"What? We don't get a hello?" Zelda huffed.

"Huh? What? Who said that? Where are you?" freaked Peach.

"How amusing. I am right here, before your eyes. I am this laboratory's main computer. I am the TEC-XX. Many call me TEC. You may. Sir Grodus created me to be a perfect computer, one that is flawless in its reason."

"Grodus…" Peach trailed. "Wait, he's that awful dome-headed thing who interrogated me, right?"

"The guy who totally dissed Mario and Link?!" Zelda input.

"Sir Grodus is not awful. He is a very great person. He is marvelous." protested TEC.

Peach stayed silent for a moment. "Well I don't think so. But I doubt I'll change your mind…So, I'm wondering…why did you lead us in here?"

"I was wondering the same thing!" Amy chirped.

"for one thing, I had only wanted Princess Peach. But…I guess there's no difference in having your friends. To why I led you here…I am unsure. An unusual program deviation occurred when I observed you earlier. My higher-brain circuitry malfunctioned and over-heated at you image. Also, an unidentified impulse sped through my processors. These events are new to me."

"Wow. Sounds intriguing…" mused Zelda.

"There is more to this phenomenon as well. I ran diagnostic programs…and their solution was… I wanted to know more about you. I want to observe you. Such a compulsion had no precedence. Cause unknown. I, the perfect computer…I must diagnose this unusual situation. I will not fail. That is why I led you here."

"Man you talk a lot…" complained Amy.

Peach was suddenly hit with an answer. She cringed. "Wait…did you just say…You want to observe me? To know more about me? Could it be that you… No! impossible! It can't be. You're a computer…"

"What has happened to me? If you know my malfunction, you must tell me of it." TEC ordered.

"Oh, I couldn't really…_it's just too weird_…" Peach whispered.

Zelda finally caught on. "Ooh, I see where this is going! Oh this is the funniest thing I've ever heard of! Oh Amy, you'll just **DIE** when you hear this!" Zelda was trying to stifle laughter.

"Please tell me. Please. I am the world's best computer. I am perfect. There should not be anything that I do not understand. Please."

"Don't leave me out of the loop!"

"BWAHA! C'mon Peach…heh eh!"

Peach squirmed around for a few moments before finally spitting it out. "Well, you know maybe…Is it possible that, well…you're…in love…_with me_?"

Zelda exploded and howled on the ground. "HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHA! It's going to be a technical relationship! You guys are sure going to be _wired_ up! **Sparks** will be flying now!"

All the jokes eventually pulled Amy into the same state, rolling on the ground. Peach gave them the darkest look she could muster, but this was ruined by her deep blush. TEC just watched the event unfold, not understanding any of it.

"Love? What is love? I cannot compute this."

"Wait, you don't know what love is?" Peach asked. "Love…how do I explain? Love-"

"-is when you want to get "hooked up" with Peach!" interrupted Zelda. Amy let out a mighty guffaw at that one.

"_NO._ Love tells you when you want to be with a person forever. It makes you feel happy just to see that person happy, smiling…having fun."

"It makes your Heart drive flutter!"

"Good one Amy!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Are you kidding? We're just getting started! Oh, you'll never hear the end of this one…my power switch is set to on and more on!"

"You're on moron all right…" Peach sighed, and continued explaining. "When you love someone, you will do anything to help when he or she is in trouble."

"Happiness? Fun…I have definition for these words but…my programming is insufficient. There should be nothing I cannot comprehend. I am a perfect computer."

"Comprehend love? Love's not something you comprehend, TEC. You feel it."

"…………………………….... ......................................... Princess Peach? Will you teach me to feel this thing called "love?" TEC asked.

"What?!? You're a computer! Why would you care about love?" exclaimed Peach.

"I am perfect. There must be nothing that I cannot comprehend. That is why you must help me understand this thing called love. Please." TEC explained. "If you have any wishes that I can grant you in exchange, I will grant them. But, of course, I am unable to grant such a wish as letting you escape…"

"What, are you insane? You X-jerks kidnapped me like common Koopas! And now you call me in here and ask me to teach you the meaning of love?"

"It DOES seem kinda of random…" Amy stated, finally done laughing.

"I should spit on your screen! You'll grant my wishes? Ha! Why should I believe you?" scoffed the pink princess.

"I understand you are angry. That emotion I comprehend. You need not teach me now. But I must learn of this thing. I must. There is no alternative. I must be a perfect computer. That is why, is you would just consider teaching me, I will grant your wishes. Do you understand me, Princess Peach? Now, tell me your wish."

Zelda stood up, clutching her stomach. "How is a computer supposed to grant a wish?"

"Let's see what Peach wants first…" Amy decided.

"Are you sure? Well ok…here goes…Can I contact someone? The sooner, the better…" Peach asked. Zelda and Amy slapped each other a high five.

"yes, of course you may. Use my communicator to send wireless mail to anyone you want. If you so wish you may use it right now. It is no trouble."

"Peach? Can I add a little something when you're done? _Please_?" Zelda whispered.

"After all the laughing you've done to me?!"

"But I need to talk to Link! It's important!"

"…Fine!"

Peach strutted up to the keyboard and furiously typed in her message. When she finished, Zelda practically shoved her out of the way and typed in a few sentences.

"ok, it's ready TEC. Could you send it?"

A little piece of mail flew across the screen. Once it reached the other side, the mail had reached Mario.

"The message has been sent. For the time being, you may return to your room. I will call upon you again when I want ask you something."

Peach turned and walked away. Zelda and Amy dusted themselves off and followed after her.

"Uh…okay then. Good night." Peach said. She tip-toed out the door.

"I can't believe Peach is going through with this…"

"Good night, Princess Peach…"


	12. Paper Bowser X!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 11: Paper Bowser X?!?!

In a dark, creepy area, sat a castle that could only belong to the ever ferocious Bowser. His minions the Hammer Bros. knew about what was happening and who was coming, but their king hadn't arrived yet. Hammer Bros. were the most trustworthy and strongest of Bowser's army, so he always kept a few handy here and there. Just as they were about to send the visitors away, the mutant turtle stormed through the door, aroused as usual.

"GRA HA HA HAR! Bowser, the mighty koopa king, has arrived! Hold your applause, minions!" he roared. Several of his followers sweat dropped. "But now that I'm here…Kammy! You crusty old hag! Why did you summon me?"

"Uh, Great Lord Bowser…" a Koopatrol began. "The, uh, crusty old hag Kammy will arrive momentarily. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but please wait at the rear of the room."

Bowser muttered something nasty under his breath, and thundered over to the back of the room. He got comfortable, and waited…and waited…and waited. Naturally, the impatience caught up to him and he nearly roasted the closest Hammer Bro. to him. Finally, there was a thunderous pound at the door, and Bowser nearly jumped for joy.

"It's about time you arrived Kammy-" he started until he saw who it really was. The door had been knocked forcibly down, with a menacing purple aura floating around it. A scary looking man with orange hair smirked at what he had done. Beside him was an egg-shaped man, with an equally orange broom mustache.

"I believe we are not Kammy…" the egg-man stated. The other one just grunted.

"Who are you two dorky looking clowns?" Bowser questioned. "…and what gives you the right to just break down my door?!?! It was my favorite!"

"Forget the door! You can have a_ thousand_ doors when we tell you what we came here to tell you!" boomed the dark-caped one. "As for my name, I am Ganondorf, Dark Lord! A Great King of Evil! Prince of Darkness! And…many more dark titles."

"I am Dr. Ivo Robotnik! Mad scientist with an IQ of 300-"

"You look more like a Dr. Eggman to me-"

"Of COURSE I do…"

Bowser snickered, along with Ganondorf. "So…why are you fools here?"

Ganondorf walked up to Bowser. "A few months ago, the hero of my world left for a period of time…"

"Along with the hero of my world!" Eggman added. "When he came back, he was talking about how he went to some Mario guy's world and took down this Bowser…"

"Hey! That's me! Mario's my worst enemy…and I have a grudge against two of his best friends…" explained Bowser.

"Were their names Link and Sonic, by any chance?"

"Yeah! Man, I almost hate them more than Mario! So cocky, full of themselves, and all three of them were blasting me with beams of light…"

_"I Hate them all!"_ all three evil icons roared. They then stared at each other and grinned.

"Well…" Ganondorf began. "The reason we came was to actually help you get revenge. Link and Sonic, along with their other pals, have left once again, and we figured they'd come to this world. If we join together and hunt them down, there's no way they could win! That way, we can take out all three of those pests and we can control every last world!"

"Ooh! Sounds delightful!" squealed Bowser. Eggman put up a hand.

"There's more. In my recent studies, I've discovered that-"

Eggman was cut off by Kammy Koopa arriving into the room. "Ah! Lord Bowser!"

As she wobbled over to him, Bowser rolled his eyes. She was huffing and wheezing by the time she made it to the trio of evil.

"I've just now returned. I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting, my lord."

"I bet you are, Kammy Koopa! Now out with it! Why have you called me here?"

"You mistook us for _that_?!?!" guffawed Eggman. "That's practically an insult!"

"Please your Grumpiness! Don't be so impatient with your poor servant. Ahem…it's my displeasure to report that Mario, that scum, is off to a town called Rogueport."

Ganondorf and Eggman perked up to this info, but Bowser discounted it.

"PBTHHH! Am I Mario's babysitter? I don't care what he's doing! Are you going to call me every time that guy blows his nose, or what? Sheesh!"

"Yes, well, you see, my Lord…apparently Mario is hunting for an amazing treasure, being accompanied by that Link."

"Tuh-tuh-Treasure!" guffawed Bowser.

"Link! I knew it!" Ganondorf shouted.

"Yes, Mario and Link have gone in search of Star-Shaped Jewels known as Crystal Stars. I'm researching just what they are…but there's no question of their high value."

Eggman snapped his fingers. "That was what I was meaning to say before I was** rudely** interrupted! These Crystal Stars are the equivalent to the Chaos Emeralds, and the Tri-Force! That's how powerful these things are, and if we collect them, there's no stopping us!"

" The Crystal Stars, you say? They sound like good world-conquering tools! I want 'em!"

"Didn't you just _say_ that?" Ganondorf whispered to Eggman. Eggman nodded furiously.

"Hmm…yes…very good…Continue researching this for me, you brainy hag you." Bowser demanded.

"Yes, sir. Thank you sir. Leave it to me." Kammy said. "By the way, Lord Bowser…do you like fried Eggs?"

"You bet I do!" Ganondorf put in.

"Bleargh! I HATE them! That's like eating my mother!" yelped Eggman.

"Do I…I LOVE fried eggs! LOVE 'em! But…what a weird question. Why do you ask?" Bowser wondered.

"Well, during my Mario recon, I stopped in a lovely place called Petal Meadows. I was planning on taking everyone there for a picnic, with eggs and toast…Of course, I couldn't think of sending out invites without asking you first, Lord Bowser."

"AIRHEAD!" Bowser roared, almost blowing Kammy, Ganondorf, and Eggman away. "_A picnic_! You MORON! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail. Because you clods always goof off! ARRGGGHH!"

Bowser went into a rampage of stomping his foot like an immature child.

"Oh dear…Lord Bowser…please calm down…remember your blood pressure!" pleaded Kammy.

_"Maybe this was a bad idea…"_ Eggman whispered to Ganondorf.

_"Hey! This was your idea, and we need him to help us get the Crystal Stars!"_

As the insanity unfolded, a Magikoopa slithered up to Kammy and whispered something in her ear. Now SHE was in a frenzy.

"Lord Bowser! Terrible news! Some bold fool in Rogueport just abducted Princess Peach, along with her gal pals Princess Zelda and Amy Rose!"

"Well THAT'S a surprise…" "Typical."

"HUUUUHHHH-WHAAAAAATTTTT! Tell me you're lying, Kammy! How? When? WHERE? Who'd do such a thing?" gasped Bowser.

Cough…you?

"Besides me?"

Oh.

"I'm afraid we don't have that information quite yet…The investigation's ongoing. One thing is most certainly confirmed however: the princess and her friends have been kidnapped."

"Under NO circumstances is ANYONE allowed to kidnap her without MY say-so! I will NOT stand for this! I'm going to Rogueport, NOW! I've gotta kidnap her back!"

"Don't you mean any of them?" Eggman questioned suspiciously. Bowser blushed and made a face.

"Erm…yeah, duh! Ha ha…anyway, let's roll out!"

Bowser instantly stomped off, eagerly followed by Ganondorf and Dr. Eggman. Bowser returned in his Koopa Klown Kar, and Eggman had brought along an Egg Mobile made for two. Bowser broke through a wall, and the other two villains hovered after him.

"But… Your grudingness! Wait up!" Kammy cried, putting hopelessly behind them all on her weak broom. Disappearing in the sky, the foursome were about to make their mark on the Crystal Star journey…

* * *

**So, yeah, I know some of you saw that coming! but in the future something unexpected'll happen! Anyway, this one was a bit short, but irony is, they get longer than Peach chapters later on!**

**And another thing- all your predictions are quite interesting. Some are undeniably right, some are almost right, and some are so very wrong I could cry. All I can say is that this fic just might suprise you ^*^**


	13. With a Little Help From My Friends

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 12: With a Little Help From my Friends

Back in Petalburg, Mario, Goombella, and Link were patiently waiting for Koops to say good-bye to the residents of the town. He was confirming that he was going to keep traveling with Mario and Link, and that he was going to come back stronger like his dad. Koopie Koo said she would be waiting for him, and the mayor told him that he could always come home.

"OK! Thank you everyone! Well, I'm off!" he trotted over to Mario. "Sorry to keep you waiting Mario. You know…farewells. So, where are we going?"

Goombella stepped up. "Let's head back to Rogueport. Remember Mario? The bearer of the Magical Map shall unfurl it before the Thousand-Year door. When this is done, the stars shall guide the bearer to the Crystal Star with pure light. And it didn't stop there…"

"I wish it did…" Link interrupted.

"Each Crystal Star shall lead to the next…That's what the books say. Which means…if we take the Crystal Star we found to the Thousand-Year Door…"

"So…that means the location of the next Crystal Star will appear on that magic map?" Koops asked.

"Exactly! C'mon! Let's go!" Goombella finished. Mario nodded, and led his gang back to the pipe that took them to Petal Meadows. Just as they exited Petalburg though, Mario started rapidly vibrating.

"Something wrong, Mario? You're…um, shaking. Are you feeling alright?" Koops asked.

"he's fine, he just got mail!" Link cheered.

Mario popped open his Mailbox SP and read the message.

_My Dearest Mario,_

_I send this letter in the hope that it reaches you safely. I, and Zelda and Amy, are being held against our will in some strange place. Though I do not know where I am, I remain unharmed and in relative comfort. Those who have captured us seem to be after the map I sent to you earlier. They may be hoping to use it to find objects known as Crystal Stars. I do not know what they are planning, but I have a feeling it is not anything positive. Mario, and Link, please collect these Crystal Stars before they do. You must! They are already aware that you have the map, so please be very careful. And please…don't worry about me._

_-Princess Peach-_

"Hey! There's something for Link!" Goombella pointed out. Link shoved her out of the way to see.

_Link-_

_I have no idea why it is only you with Mario, because I am curious to know what has happened to everyone else. You're probably worrying insanely about us, as always, but there's nothing to worry about. I'm actually having a bit of fun…but I still wanna be rescued! Don't you ever think about giving up, because you'd be letting a lot of people down, maybe the entire worlds. So…hurry up and find us!_

_Princess Zelda_

"Thank Goddesses they're fine!" Link moaned, falling to his knees. "Zelda knows me too well…"

Mario patted Link's shoulder and placed his SP back in his pocket. Link was now even more dedicated to saving them than ever before.

"Wow! You guys got letters from princesses! That's so cool! So, anyway, they're unhurt! That's good…at least…"

Mario nodded.

"But I didn't like the sound of those kidnappers looking for the Crystal Stars as well…"

They returned to the Sewers, and Link made a comment about how they fought off the stupid blooper. It wasn't too long a walk to the Thousand-Year Door, so they got there in record time. Mario and Link climbed up to the center of the pedestal and held up their Crystal Star. The blue rings of light flashed once again around them, glowing in the similar designs. This time, the Diamond Star was in the center of a circle in the north part of the stone slap. The map returned to life quickly, yet slowly rose above their heads. Mario and Link couldn't help but stare. The flower pedal light blasted out of it, as another location was being recorded.

_Above a gray spot in the top center of the map, a large tree suddenly sprouted. Then, a green star appeared right on top of it._

A glass-shattering motion and sound was detected, and everyone snapped out of the trance they were lost in. The map returned to Mario's hands, and the gang stared at it.

"Hey, uh, Mario. Look there. The next Crystal Star showed up on the map. But…I'm sorry, but I don't have a clue where that is!" Koops exclaimed.

"Yeah, neither do I…" Goombella trailed.

"You already know _I_ don't…" Link added.

"Um…I think maybe we should take it to Professor Frankly and have him look at it." suggested Koops.

"Yay. Let's go hear Gramps babble once again. Joy…"

-----

Back at Frankly Headquarters, the group had filled Frankly in on everything.

"Hrrmm…mmmmmm HRMMMMM…"

"Well? Stop MMMMMM-ing and tell us what we want to know!" demanded Link.

Frankly shut the book he was reading and turned to the heroes. "I see, I see. Crystal clear!"

"Um, so can you tell us where the next Crystal Star is or not?" Koops questioned.

"It's in the Boggly Woods. The second Crystal Star is in a great tree there." Frankly explained.

"A great tree in Boggly Woods, huh?"

"I said I was never climbing a big tree again…looks like I was wrong…" sighed Link. Everyone but Mario stared at him.

"About those woods…I think some odd creatures live there. If memory serves, there's a pipe beneath town that leads to those woods."

"um…Professor Frankly…you should probably know…it's about Princess Peach…" Koops mumbled. "Mr. Mario got an e-mail from her just recently. Her highness said that the guys who kidnapped her are also hunting Crystal Stars. Oh, and she said she doesn't even know where she's being held…yeah."

"Well explained Koops!" Link stated, half-sarcastic.

"Uh-oh. If Princess Peach's kidnappers are also looking for the Crystal Stars, what could they hope to achieve? Could the treasure be…ugh! Too many unknowns! Unfortunately, the only clues we can rely on are the Crystal Stars and that map." exclaimed Frankly.

"um…I guess all we can do now is head to Boggly Woods and get that next Crystal Star!" Koops cheered.

"yes, I recommend you do just that. And find it before the princess' captors do!"

"Yeah, those bad guys could be in the Boggly Woods already!" Goombella added.

"Boggly Woods…it sounds like a place Zelda would have wanted to go…" Link pondered aloud while pushing the door open to exit.

"I bet she would love to be here right now…" assured Koops from behind. Link looked down and slightly smiled. When he pulled his head back up, he spotted a familiar green plumber standing in front of the building next door. "Hey Mario!? Isn't that Luigi?"

At the sound of his bro's name, Luigi turned around to see Mario being followed by Goombella, and Link followed by Koops.

"Hey there bro.! I'm on an adventure of my own!" Luigi explained. He noticed Link suppressing laughter behind a fist and Mario twitching his mustache. "Laugh all you want guys! It's true! Wanna hear?"

"We're kinda busy-"

Mario wanted to hear his brother vouch so he nodded. Link smacked his head and got snug up against the wall. Once Luigi stated it was a long story, Link made a face at Mario, and Mario just grinned sheepishly.

"Like I said, It's a long story, but here it goes…"

**Half an hour later…**

Mario was snoring, and Link was grunting on the ground. The sound of Luigi not talking suddenly snapped Mario awake, and Link jumped ten feet in the air. Mario thanked him for the story, and wished him luck on the adventure.

"See ya Luigi! Your "adventure" seems interesting!" chortled Link. Luigi frowned. He knew they didn't really listen, and that set him down a little bit. They waved good-bye to Luigi, and headed for the West side of town.

"Ha!_ Luigi_ on an adventure! That right there is a story!" Link guffawed in the central plaza.

Mario shrugged.

"What do you mean you believe him?!?"

Mario stuck his nose in the air and kept on walking. Link shook a fist, and he and Koops scurried to keep up. Just outside western gate, there was an old female Toad pacing around. They had no idea what she was up to, nor cared, so they began to head for the gate.

"FREEZE!" she roared, ready to pounce.

"Holy Crow,** someone** got on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" Link gulped.

"You two! Not another step! Don't come this way! Some complete JERK just bumped into me and made me lose a contact lens! I'm looking for it right now, so DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!" she made a brief scan of the area where she was currently standing. "You hear me? Whatever you do, do NOT move an inch! NOT AN INCH, YOU HEAR?!?"

"You aren't the boss of me lady!" Link yelled. He turned to leave, only to hear a faint squitch under his large, brown, clunky boot. He stopped breathing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Idiot! You stepped on it! My poor contact lens!!!!! I told you NOT TO MOVE! Don't your stupid ears work?! What were you thinking!?"

She stormed up to Link and glared at him with her good eye. Link just gaped and shook his head.

"This is your fault! Now I have to buy a new contact lens! But YOU'RE going to pay for it! Compensate me, Mr. Clumsy!"

"No way! Just because you're a blind bat doesn't mean I have to pay your attention!" Link retorted boldly. The female Toad stuck up her nose (if she had one) and stormed over to the gate.

"Fine! If that's your plan, then here's MINE, you oaf! I'm gonna block the gate to the West Side until you bring me a new contact lens!" she hissed. Link rolled his eyes.

"Like you're gonna stop me! Ha! Don't make me laugh! BONZAI!"

Link dashed at the old coot at full speed, ready to either pass her or knock her down. Instead, she brought up a fist and plowed it into Link's eye.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING BLIND PUNK?!?!" she screamed. Link grabbed his eyes and hollowed.

"You crazy-"Link was cut off by Mario clomping his hand down onto Link's mouth, and he and the partners dragged him away. Mario stopped at the shop to see if they had any contact lenses, but the man said they didn't, and ordered a shipment. Mario thanked him and promised to come back when it came in.

"Urgh…I'm going to the inn to heal my eye…you guys go explore…" Link moaned, heading for the building.

"Ha! he got a black eye from an old woman!" cackled Goombella.

"all right…have fun!" Koops called. Link ran into the door, and when he entered, tumbling and crashing down stairs could be heard.

Back in the dock/port area, they saw a proud-looking green mouse, and decided to talk to him.

"Hey! You're Mario!" he squeaked. Mario nodded. "Wow! This is so cool! I never thought I'd meet a celebrity out here! Oh! I know! Do you want to make an investment Mario?"

Mario cocked his head.

"My name's Lumpy, and I'm heading out to Dry Dry Desert to prospect for oil! I've lived my life hoping to get rich quick…and now my chance has come! But I still don't have enough start-up funds. Could you please lend me some money?"

Mario nodded, and simply handed over 300 coins on the spot. Koops and Goombella flipped. Mario told them not to tell Link, and placed a finger on his mustache. They nodded.

"Thank you so much! You won't regret it!!!"

Mario smiled and headed back to Link. Link was looking for them, and when he spotted them, Mario just shrugged and said they were sightseeing. Link nodded, and they headed for the pipe into the sewers.

In the sewers, they went thin and snuck through the bars to get to the pipe that led to the next level. Going down the small hall, down the stairs, bashing weak enemies, and down another pipe, they reached the room just before the Thousand-Year door. But, waited for them was a small squishy creature. It noticed them and quickly scurried away into a tiny hole.

"Hey! That's one of the things Professor Frankly described! After him!"

Mario went into hot pursuit and slipped through the bar door next to the hole. Upon entering, the little thing saw them again and ran into the corner. They followed.

"Eeeeeeeeeeekkk!" it screamed. "D-don't eat me!"

"Ha! You don't even look appetizing!" Link scoffed. Everyone stared at him with disgusted faces. "…what? If he thinks he's edible, he needs a second opinion!"

Mario raised his hand to explain.

"Huh? Uh…you didn't come to eat me?"

Mario nodded.

"And you're not bullies?"

"GUESS AGAIN NERD!" Link cackled.

"Nooooooo! Leave me alone you big bullies!" he wailed.

"Um…Link, that was uncool. Don't say stuff like that. I thought you were…nicer." Koops sighed.

"I thought you were weaker and shy. Kill-joy…" Link grunted.

"Relax, relax, little guy. We're not bullies, I swear."

"For real? Phew! I thought for a second I might have an accident!"

"Dang…that would've been funny."

"Link!"

"Sorry…couldn't resist."

"Um…aren't you one of the creatures from Boggly Woods? Why are you down here?" asked Koops.

"Wh-what? Why do you know about me? NO! You-you must be…You guys are working for those X-nauts, aren't you?! You chased me here! Noooooo! It's the end!"

"What are you going on about?" Goombella wondered.

"X-nauts? What the heck are those? Sounds like tissues…to the extreme or something." Koops decided.

"No, it's more like a poisonous cereal or something like that…" Link opposed.

Koops gawked at Link and shook his head. "Look, we're not here to do anything to you, so relax. Tell us what's going on, ok?"

The little puny creature nodded. "Well…ok. This gang of bad guys who call themselves X-nauts came to where I live. They came inside our Great Tree and started tearing it apart and causing trouble. So…I've come all the way here looking for help."

"A bunch of bad guys in the Great Tree…If those are the same guys that kidnapped the girls, they want the Crystal Star!" gasped Koops from realization.

"So much for getting there before they did…" Goombella groaned.

"Now that you mention it…they did say something about some Crystal Star thingy. But we Punies don't know anything about any crystals or stars…Say, could you guys help us out? Maybe chase them off? If you do, we'll give you uh…What was it? The Crystal Star? If you do, we'll have the Puni elder give you that!" the Puni explained.

"All right…since we're getting the Crystal Star out of it…" Link replied.

"I don't know what it is, but if it'll help us reclaim out tree, I'm sure the elder will agree!"

Mario: Okay!

"Really?! You aren't joking?!? You'll do it?!? "

Mario nodded once again, and Link sighed.

"Um…I guess we should…I'd feel pretty bad if we didn't…" input Koops. "Plus we do need to get the Crystal Star before those X-guys do."

"Ha! You're the one who was getting on me about saying we were bullies!"

"Oh thank you! This is great! I'm so happy! My name is Punio. Pleased to meet you! I'll take you to where I live. Follow me, okay?" Punio offered. He scuttled back across the room, nearby another little hole. "it's this way."

Everyone shrugged and followed the little Puni. He then realized they wouldn't be able to fit, and entered the hole. He hit a secret switch, opening a secret hall up some stairs. Mario smiled and practically skipped up the stairs. Link went the left way to pick up a badge, then went the right way to catch up with everyone else. It was a small square room, with a single stump pipe poking out of the side. Punio hurried them into it, and the gang was off to Boggly Woods.

* * *

**"Chapter 2" officially begins! And Luigi on an adventure? Wonder what he'll get into...**

**Oh yeah! I'll have a new "Mario" story up, and it's similiar to PMX if you want to check it out ;)**


	14. Rainbows in the Grass

Paper Mario X

Chapter 13: Rainbows in the Grass

The moment the group popped out of the pipe, Link was struck with awe and wonder. The sky was a creamy color, the leaves and flowers were a pure white, and the ground itself was a never ending rainbow. His closed his eyes and practically fell within his daydreams.

"So, the Boggly Woods huh? Looks mysterious all right!" Koops pointed out.

"It's just like she described it…" Link whispered. No one heard him.

"What'll we run into next?"

"Um, OK, just a bit further and we should be able to see the Great Tree," explained Punio. "The elder and my friends are waiting for us there…oh, and my little sister too. C'mon! Let's go!"

_"It's just like she had dreamed…"_

* * *

On the ship, Kirby, Samus, and Amy Rose were snoring away, the trip heading into an overnight one. Link and Sonic were still wide awake and just goofing off quietly. Link accidentally let out a snort during his laughter, and he and the hedgehog started cracking up. Zelda had arrived from her slumber and glared at the two of them.

"Uh…sorry Zelda…" Link mumbled.

"it was all his fault! He snorted!" Sonic protested. Zelda waved her hand to show it was fine. Sonic grinned back, and rushed off to do who knew what. Zelda sighed a strangely happy sigh, and turned to Link, who was gawking at his best friend.

"I'm kinda glad you woke me up…because that wonderful dream I had is still fresh in my mind…"

"Is it about me?"

"uh…no."

"Then how is it wonderful?"

Zelda collapsed peacefully onto the only couch. "It was a beautiful place Link…the sky was a shade of brown, yet it was so gorgeous! The tree and flowers were snow white, and the jet black ground was brightened by a ever-lasting rainbow-on the ground! It reminded me of home, only better!…almost."

Link smiled and put an arm around her. "It_ does_ sound beautiful…"

Zelda's blue eyes looked up into Link's. "Do you think we'll be able to see it when we get to the Mushroom Kingdom?"

Link shrugged. "Maybe…and we'll see it together. Without you, it'd be like being only half in a dream, since you're not there to make me feel whole…"

Zelda leaned against Link. "That right there was beautiful…"

"Not as much as he thinks you are!" snickered Sonic from the doorway. Link prepared to get him, but with his speed there was no way possible. Instead, Link stayed on the couch, falling asleep next to the already sleeping Zelda.

* * *

"Without you, it'd be like being only half in a dream, since you're not there to make me feel whole…" Link repeated.

"HEY LINK!? Are you done with your moment?!" shouted Koops.

"Yeah! We gotta get to the Great Tree, now!" added Punio.

"We're not gonna wait all day!" said Goombella.

Mario: Uh uh!

"All right! I get the point, no thinking for Link!" he scoffed back. He jogged down the color-spectrum ground, catching up to them. His words cycled endlessly in his mind.

-----

Upon entering the next area, they spotted three purple Shadow-figures: AKA the Shadow Sirens.

"Mmmmmweeee hee hee hee! Time to go to work, lovelies!" cackled Beldam. "Vivian! You understand what we've got to do, yessss?"

"Mm-hmm! A) Find those Mario and Link characters and B) steal the map to the Crystal Stars, right? We can just do away with Mario and his friends, can't we? Or is that bad?" Vivian replied.

"Oh, bad things happen all the time, Vivian. But you're right about our goals. If my information is correct, Mario and Link should be coming down this road quite soon. You must ambush them here and get that map!" Beldam explained. "Hmmm? What's this now? Vivian! What's that you're fawning over there?"

Vivian giggled and pulled out a pearl necklace. "Oh! What, you mean this? I found it near that tree over there a while back. Isn't it a gorgeous necklace? It was so lovely…I just HAD to pick it up!"

Beldam was revolted. "Hmph! Vivian! For shame! Picking up someone's scraps? Disgusting! Greedy! But enough about that…Vivian, my dear pack-rat…bring out the sketches of the Mario and Link guys that you got from Grodus! Mmmwee hee hee hee!"

"Eeep! Wh-What?!" yelped the red-hatted shadow. "I…I don't have them! You said they were way too important, so you took them. You should have them…"

"Don't be ridiculous! I don't have them! You were in charge of them!" Beldam howled. "You wretched little worm! Blaming me for something you probably screwed up!"

"But I…"

Then, Marilyn spotted the Mario group, eavesdropping on every word.

"I think we should avoid them…" whispered Link. Mario nodded. The yellow-hatted shadow quickly jumped.

"Guh! Guh!" she grumbled.

Beldam was already annoyed with Vivian, and she really didn't need her other sister peeving her as well.

"Oh, what IS it Marilyn? …Huh? What's that? A mustachioed fellow and an oversized gnome? This is no time for nonsense, you great oaf! Save your games for later!"

Beldam slithered over closer to Vivian. "now, now…where was I? You! Vivian! Don't tell me you lost our precious sketches!"

Vivian was on the verge of tears. "But…listen…I…Look, it's not my fault…I never had the sketches…"

"SILENCE YOU DITZ!"

Everyone jumped at the outburst.

"Such impudence! How dare you talk you talk back to me like some rebellious child!?! It's clear to me that the only rationale way your type understands is force…"

Beldam raised her hands and Vivian's new necklace was magically taken from her.

"For your punishment, I'll be taking that necklace you just found. Yes, so sorry."

"But…Beldam…Oh, you're horrid!"

"Quick! While she's crying and that other one is yelling! ESCAPE!" Link whisper-yelled. Mario agreed and they sprinted past the Shadow group. Even without their sketch, Mario wasn't about to take the risk of being caught. Before they could leave the area, they literally ran into a Pale Piranha. The Piranha was paired up with a Cleft, and both enemies had the advantage of spikes. Goombella could only tattle. Mario brought out his Power Smash and took out the Piranha in an instant. The Cleft rammed into Mario's shin, causing him to double over. Mario scowled. Link wanted to return the pain with his sword, but it only did one due to such a high defense.

"Dang…" grunted Link. Koops did finish it off with a Shell Slam, so there were no worries. Link glared as the rock fainted out of existence. His mood was lifted when he found a free Honey Syrup lying on the ground.

"YAY!" he wailed, diving for the sticky treat. He nabbed it, but Link had to do battle with another Piranha and a Cleft.

"Stop messing around Link. We don't have time for your food antics!" ordered Goombella.

"Yeah! We're almost to the Great Tree!" cheered Punio.

"Well excuuuuuuuuse me! I was trying to salvage some supplies for our trip since we were mysteriously out of money…" Link hissed, glaring at Goombella.

"Don't look at me!" Goombella defended. "Just…it…Grr, Just get going!"

"I'm watching you…"

"I didn't do squat!"

Mario gave Goombella a "thank you" look.

"You owe me big time!" she mouthed with a murder look. Mario walked faster so she couldn't catch up.

-----

"There! Can you see it!?" Punio hurrahed.

"Who can't see it?" Link asked, standing next to the pipe that brought them to the Great Tree.

"That's what I was telling you about. That's where we Punies live. That's home. Uh, of course, it's not just us in the tree. Lots of Jabbies and Piders too. Well, anyway…follow me!" Punio explain. He squirmed into the little stump pipe and sprinted toward his home. Mario and Link jumped down the pipe and leapt over gaps to catch up with little Punio.

The tree was way bigger in person. Link took one look and could've passed out. Heck, it even had little streams flowing out of it!

"That's even bigger than…" he could barely get out. Mario had to whack him on the back to get him to snap back to reality. Link shook off the little pain and headed for Punio who was waiting at…a door?

"Since when do trees have large, red, robotized doors?"

"…Uh…" was all Punio could get out.

"oh no…what's the matter?" Koops questioned.

"Gee, I wonder…enlarged door attached to a tree that a puny Puni can't open?" Link guessed sarcastically.

"Uh, well…take a look! This door wasn't here before! Someone just installed it! And…I can't open it. I thought I could finally save everyone…I'm a fool."

"OH! JACKPOT! I was RIGHT and…wah?"

Koops walked over to Punio. "Hey, don't take it so hard. It does look sturdy though…What do we do now?"

Punio thought long and very hard about the perplexing problem. "GOT IT!"

He suddenly started running up one of the tree's oversized trunks.

"Wow. He's spunky…" commented Goombella, following Mario, who was following Punio.

"Long ago, the Puni elder told me about a secret entrance somewhere around here. We can get in through here! I'm completely sure of it! Um…problem is…I doubt finding it is going to be easy. I mean, it won't be labeled "Secret Entrance"…what should we do?"

"What are you talking about? This was your idea!" Link guffawed. "Now you're asking us?!?"

"Not to be a worrywart, but how in the heck can we find somebody's secret entrance?" Koops input.

"Wasn't that the problem in the first place?" pondered Goombella.

"Well, it's hidden by this invisible…thingy. We need to find and remove the thingy. Boy, but removing a normal thingy sound hard enough, let alone an invisible one! Uh…" Punio had a brainfart. Then, his thinking returned. "Got it! Flurrie! Surly Madame Flurrie's powers can help us!"

"Ahem, Flurrie?" coughed Goombella.

"Flurrie is a refined and dignified lady who lives in these woods. The elder says she's a wind spirit who can wield the powers of the air with ease. You see where I'm going with this? She can use her wind power to blow the thingy away! Flurrie lives in the deepest corner of the woods, so…Let's head back in the direction we came from."

Mario, Link, Koops, Goombella, and Punio all retraced their steps, which was jumping over the gaps and going back through the pipe.

------

Way, way, way, way, WAAAAAYYYY back in the woods, stood a small and refurbished yellow house with pink accents. Inside the house, was most likely the wind spirit Punio was going on about. She was preparing for a normal day, as usual…

"Ahhh! These woods are the most wonderful in the entire world! Yes, indeed! Building a house here was just the FINEST idea I ever did have. Oh, my, yes!"

The inside of her house contained fine furniture, topped off with a dark pink walls and a checkered purple velvet floor.

"This place is so different than the bright flashbulbs I'm used to…Such peace…the negative image of the real world soothes my body and soul. But what's even better is that I, Madame Flurrie, grow even lovelier here! Plus, those squishy little Punies that live in that tree are SO nice to me! But…I suppose if I stay here too long, I'll be craving hustle and bustle before long! Oh! Oh my! Its happening even as I speak! Already I feel the need for drama! That moment of exhilaration when the spotlight shines down…on me! Surely I was born to be…an actress for the ages!"

Her bedroom was magnificent, and downright beautiful. It had the same color as the red of her house, finished with a bed of red velvet and a canopy! The bed itself was surrounded by a plush and soft rug.

"It's settled, then. I shall rise again! But, before I make my stage comeback…I simply must whip my mind and body into shape. I'll just have to put on some makeup and make my beauty even more beautiful! Wait a moment…"

She looked for it, but it wasn't there. The following scream could be heard throughout the woods for miles.

"NOOOOOOOO! It's gone! Gone I tell you! My…my…"

Madame Flurrie kept screaming for 15 minutes.

* * *

**Another double update week 'causs I'm awesome! Though not very many will see this until tomorrow...**


	15. How to Beat your Own Shadow

Paper Mario X: The Thousand Year Door

Chapter 14: How to Beat Your Own Shadow

"Okay, so if we keep going to the right, we'll reach her house?" Goombella asked Punio.

"Yep! It's a bit tricky to get there though…"

"No problem! I bet it's not even that bad of a challenge!" scoffed Link. Mario rolled his eyes. When they entered the next area, all jaws dropped.

"Wow. Okay, maybe it's slightly complicated…" Koops chuckled nervously.

"Look out!" screamed Punio, running for his life out of the way of a Cleft. Link quickly jumped in front of his, shield defending them both from the oncoming attack. The Cleft smacked into his Hyrulian Shield, and bounced back dazed. Mario smashed his Power Smash into the side of the living rock, until it wasn't living anymore. Just as everyone started to calm down, a small cloud hovered over to them.

"A cloud? Are you kidding me?" Goombella groaned while HeadBonking it. Mario helped her finish it off with a jump of his own.

"Okay…now that all the jerks are gone, how are we supposed to get over that ledge?" Koops asked.

"Don't worry! An adventuring expert like me can figure this out!" boasted Link. "With my skills, I should be able to locate something. There's ALWAYS something hidden in areas like this-"

"Like that blue switch behind that hallway of trees over there?" suggested Goombella, pointing to said spot.

"Uh…yeah. Now I will figure out how to get over there!"

Koops ran over to a hidden passage behind a little patch of leaves. "Maybe though this mini path?"

Link sweat dropped. "Yes…and then-"

"We can have Mario fly us over the ledge with his plane power!" cheered Punio, happy he could figure something out. Mario nodded with a grin. Link's eye twitched.

"STOP STEALING MY THUNDER!"

"Psh…" "Soooor-ry!" "Someone's cranky…" "Mama Mia!"

Link smacked his head and entered the path Koops discovered. This went up into the hallway of trees Goombella pointed out, which took him to the switch. Grumpily, he stomped on it, and the pipe/tree holding the Flight Pad raised high enough for them to be able to fly across. Goombella, Koops, and Punio high fived each other (despite two of the three not having hands) and followed Mario up the pipe.

"Well, that totally ruins my mood…" grunted Link, catching up with everyone just after they obtained a Shine Sprite. Mario asked if everyone was ready, then transformed into a plane and soared to the other side.

"I love flying! That's awesome!" Punio shrieked.

"Can you believe that's supposed to be a curse?" Link sighed.

"Curse?! That's downright awesome!"

"Tell me about it…"

While they discussed the unfairness of Mario having sweet power, said plumber hit a red block and snagged the Quake Hammer. Next time he leveled up, he was going to take BP so he could have the Power Smash, Quake Hammer, Multi-Bounce, and the Power Bounce...

------

The next part of the woods was basically a white flower garden. The Partners all skipped around, making the flowers fly out from under their feet. This left them unaware to the patrolling white puff in the plants. Just as it was about to strike, Link and Mario tackled it.

"Not today, you puff of evil!"

Mario: ???

"…Okay, that was a bad one, but did YOU have anything better?"

Mario: Nuh uh.

"I didn't think so."

Once the Puff was defeated, they saw Punio telling Goombella and Koops where Flurrie's house was.

"Look! There, in the distance! That's what I was telling you about! Flurrie's place."

"Hm. It IS in the deepest part of the woods…" muttered Goombella, recording it for future investigation.

"Yeah, but we can't get past this small…fence thing."

Mario waved his hand as if to say "No problem!" and went thin. He slipped through a small crack, and changed back to normal.

"Hey! I found an Inn Coupon!" Koops realized, pulling it out of his pocket. "I picked it up while we were skipping around…"

"Cool! Free Inn stay!"

Mario told them to focus as he climbed into the pipe leading the Flurrie's House. Link, Punio, Koops, and Goombella followed him in that order.

"Man, this is a nice house! I'm jealous!" Goombella sighed.

"It's okay. A bit too pink though…" Koops stated.

"Uh…Excuse me!" Punio shouted. No answer. "Um…maybe she isn't here. I wonder if she took a walk in the woods."

"Mmm…I don't know…it feels like we're not the only ones in here…" Link whispered. They climbed up the short stairs and Punio yelled again.

"Madame Flurrie! Hellooooooo? If you're here, say something!"

"More like say nothing…" huffed Koops when nothing happened. Link gave him a hard punch on the back before collapsing onto the floor in laughter. "Ow! It wasn't that funny-"

"Are you crazy? That's something I could have said! Ha ha hahahahaha!" cackled the swordsman. Mario sweat dropped.

"Oooooookay then. Mario, try knocking on the door. Maybe Flurrie's taking a nap or something…" suggested Goombella. Mario shrugged and approached the door.

"Eeeek! No! Out of the question! You mustn't come in here!" cried a female voice on the other side of the door. Everyone raised their eyebrows in surprise and backed two steps away from the door.

"Uh…Madame Flurrie? Is that you? Are you in there? What are you doing?" Punio sputtered.

"Geez, 20 questions…"

"Oh! What a moment…Those darling, squishy little footsteps…Is that you Punio?" the woman asked. "Oh, it's been an AGE since I saw you last! You poor dear! Is there something you need?"

"Uh, well, the thing is…We have a problem that only you can help us with ma'am. The Great Tree's entry hole is blocked. There's this stupid door we can't seem to open. My Puni friends are inside, and they're in a pickle, and Mario needs these Crystal Stars… It's a train wreck really. If you can't find the secret entry for us, we're done."

"Oh…Is that all dearie? You came all the way here just for that?" Flurrie questioned, a bit of laughter in her voice.

"Hey! This is serious! There are bad guys in that tree than plan to take over the world!" Link boomed. Mario handed him a chill pill and a glass of water. Link smiled, took the pill, and then continued to glare menacingly at the door. Mario smacked his head.

"My adorable little Punio…you know I would do anything in my power to help you…however, lamentably…I'm in a bit of a bind myself. I just cannot come out."

"Why not?" snapped Link in a high-pitched voice.

"Gee, is something wrong…" Koops asked.

"Noooooo…she said she's in a bind! Of COURSE nothing's wrong!"

"Just a simple question…"

"Well…Grr…"

"Maybe you need another pill?"

"Shut up Goombella!"

"It's somewhat embarrassing…but I never go out without my favorite necklace. I just can't find the blessed thing! I suspect I dropped it on my daily constitutional."

Link was taken aback. "I see how it is! The entire world-and maybe more- are at stake, and you can't help innocent people because you have one less trinket to make you look beautiful?!"

Flurrie pouted from the other side of the door. "I'd be simply SCANDALIZED if anyone saw me without it, so I shan't be going out. I absolutely MUST have that necklace to highlight my beauty, and that's that!"

"If I was a girl, I might be able to understand that, but since I'm a manly man, GET OUT HERE NOW!!!"

"Quickly! Another dose!"

Mario: Drops a pill down Link's throat.

Link: Starts to choke.

"Gee whiz, that must be some nice necklace huh? Hang on…you know what? It's weird…I'm sure I just heard someone talking about a necklace…" Koops pondered.

"Yeah, me too…" Goombella added.

"What's that? Do speak up! You! Whoever just spoke! Do you have some clue as to my necklace's whereabouts? If you do, you must help me! Please! Be a dear! Find it and bring it back to me! If you could, then I'd be delighted to help my squishy little friend Punio!"

"Don't worry Madame Flurrie! I'm sure Mario can get your necklace back. Word is, he's super! You can do it, right Mario?"

Mario: Sure.

"Yeah, if it's the only way she'll come out…" grumbled Link.

"Man, you sure are a pouch of pout lately…" Goombella stated. Link tried to swat at her, but him being tall and her short prevented that.

"Great! It's decided then. Let's go find it!" Punio cheered.

"I'm sorry to trouble you so…" Flurrie sighed from behind the door. She knew that at least one of them wasn't happy with her.

-----

Back with the Shadows, Vivian was having a fit and jumping up and down.

"Beldam! I TOLD you! Blaming me for losing the sketches…and you had them!" she shouted.

"Silence, you twit! Now's not the time to be hung up on stupid details! We must study these sketches!" Beldam ordered.

"Guh! Guhhhhhhh?" guhed Marilyn.

First, she stared at Link's picture.

"Ugh! This guy is so out of style! That tunic must be from the Stone Age!"

"U-guh-ly!"

"I like his hair…"

"How typical of you Vivian. You have no taste in men!"

Beldam lifted up the brown picture of Mario, in all its glory. After a brief moment of looking at it, all three shadows jumped up.

"Wow! This Mario guy looks so manly! Check out that bushy mustache…how handsome!" Beldam swooned. "You know something though, my ladies? I swear I've seen this gentleman before…"

**3 seconds later…**

"AAAAAAACK! He's Mr. Mustache!"

"Guh! Guh!"

"Ack! I don't believe this! Vivian! This is, without a doubt, all your fault! I'll be dealing out some strict punishment later, my dearie! Oh yes, I can promise you that!"

"What?!? That's not fair! You're the one who had the…"

"Silence, you squirrel-brain! Don't you cope that insolent attitude toward me!"

_"You're not my mom you know…"_

"Ugh, this is NOT fair…"

"And about that necklace…I was thinking of returning it to you, but no more!"

"Awww…"

"AND…since you caused this problem, you have to figure out how to find this Mario chump!"

"UUHHHHHHHH-guh!"

Vivian turned and tried her best to keep the tears away while Beldam continued to rant on about what a bad seed Vivian was.

------

Mario, Link, Goombella, Koops, and Punio just exited the house. Link still had a bit of steam to cool down, furious at that cloud woman.

"Chill Link. The necklace probably had some kind of important past and she's in such a shock, she can't leave!" Goombella suggested.

"Oh yes, the important past at the jewelry store!"

"…you're still being a pout pouch…"

"Quit calling me that! Now let's hurry up and get to the Shadows!"

Link snapped his fingers, and they were suddenly gone.

**The part of the woods with the Sirens-**

They all crashed into a soft pile of flowers.

"Wow. That was quick!" Koops noted.

"All we did was skip all the action the author wrote in our adventure to get back here!" explained Link.

"What's he talking about?"

Mario: We'll never know.

Punio began to flip out. "The shadows are over there! Let's go get the necklace!"

"Let's easily and gently talk to them-" stared Koops.

"HEY! GIVE US THAT NECKLACE CREEPS!" Link shouted, running toward them full force. A bolt of lightning that Marilyn sparked up suddenly struck him. Link let out a wail before stumbling hard into the ground.

"Hey Link! You got your Thunder back!" Goombella chortled. Link twitched on the ground. Beldam turned around to see the intruder.

"Well! If it isn't Link…and Mario!" she cackled. "Shiny mustache or no, you can't be too bright if you came here looking for us! Mweee hee hee hee! And you know why? Cause we were waiting for you!"

"Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I remember! They're the ones with…hey! Wait a second!" Koops asked. "What do you mean you've been waiting for Mario? That sounds…suspicious!"

"No really?" Link and Goombella groaned.

"Well it does!"

"Mmmmwee hee hee hee! I have no quarrel with you…but I simply can't allow you to hunt for the Crystal Stars. And so, I'll be taking that little map of yours just as soon as I deal with you."

"Whoa whoa whoa scary lady! How do you know about the map and the crystals?" Koops asked once again. Have you talked to the princess or something?"

"Maybe she's a stalker!" Link accused.

"She is a shadowy character…" pointed out Punio.

"Now that I think about it, who are you anyway?"

"Those who seek names are often disappointed, but if you insist we'll tell you. We are…"

"The three…" Marilyn added, speaking for what was probably the first and only time.

"Shadow Beauties!" Vivian squealed happily.

"The Three Shadow Beauties?" Punio, Koops, and Goombella gaped.

"You guys are two notches less from being beauties on the pretty scale. Except the pink one, she's about a 3." Link stated like it was an obvious fact. However, Beldam was more peeved at Vivian for messing up the intro than at the total burn she just received.

"Vivian! You nincompoop!"

"Nincompoop? Haven't heard that one in a while…"

"What are you babbling about? It's Shadow SIRENS! I don't see three beauties!"

"Neither do I."

"I see two, but then there's you and you're PUG UGLY!"

Silence.

"Yow. That HAD to hurt!" Punio muttered under his breath.

"Aw, right, Sis, I'm sorry….it's just, you always call us "lovelies" and…"

"It's just a figure of speech! Ooh, you've got some fierce punishment coming your way!" Beldam roared. Team Mario shivered at the coldness her words left. Vivian collapsed to the ground.

"Aw gee whiz…I hate being punished…" Link felt slightly sorry for her, understanding how she felt. She glanced at him and her tears seemed to slow down. But just a little.

"That's for later though. First, we have to deal with this Mario and his friends! Let's do it, my lovelies…or rather my lovely and ugly! Marilyn! Vivian! The might of the Three Shadow Sirens will be more than enough to win the day!"

Mario got a grip on his hammer; Link brandished his sword, Punio took cover under a rock, and Goombella and Koops went with their respective hero. Beldam bragged a bit, and then the show got started. Mario summoned his Diamond Star, and performed Earth Tremor, draining six out of all the Shadows. Goombella used a long and forgotten Fire Flower, and that was enough to defeat Beldam. Vivian seemed slightly happy about it as she punched Goombella, barely doing anything. Marilyn charged up her attack. Link swung his sword at Vivian, a bit regretfully, and Koops Power Shelled through them both. Vivian collapsed then. Marilyn sent her charged up lightning at Link, jolting him into the air.

"Daaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr…"

Link, still shooting random sparks throughout his body, flopped to the ground and twitched. Again. Mario simply pulled out his hammer and smacked the yellow-hatted shadow good, and Marilyn toppled over with her sisters.

"Mmmmmmmwee hee Haaaaaack!" Beldam crackled, trying to be smug after the embarrassing loss.

"You guys are weak. Come back when you're a little stronger!" Link mocked.

"Be careful what you wish for!" whistled Goombella. Link bonked her. Punio crawled out of his hiding spot.

"Is it safe now?"

"Sure is!" Koops cheered. Punio sighed in relief and returned to sight.

"Maybe we were just a touch overconfident…" she admitted.

"Ya think?" snorted Vivian, though wasn't heard over the "GUH" of Marilyn. Beldam yelled at the two and called for punishment, and then they bolted off. Or rather, Marilyn and Beldam bolted off. They ran over Vivian. She spent a split second to look back at the gang before taking off too. Mario was still in a fighting stance, giving them the evil eye.

"Poor girl. Getting yelled at all the time…" Link trailed. Mario nodded as he scooped up the necklace. Punio walked forward excitedly.

"That's Flurrie's necklace!" he cried.

"Obviously! Who else would it be?" snickered Goombella.

"I just am confirming the situation!" Punio protested.

"All right! Before any arguments start up, let's head back to Flurrie's, m'kay?" Link asked. He snapped his fingers, and they were gone. All that could be heard was Koops' exasperated whisper of_ "How the screw does he do that?!"_


	16. Branching Out

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 15: Branching Out

They reappeared in Flurrie's living room, everyone awestruck at Link's ability. Link said it was a teleportation secret and zipped his lips. Mario rolled his eyes and stuffed the necklace under the door of Flurrie's bedroom. There was a girlish scream behind the door, and the next thing they knew, the chandelier rose into the ceiling and the room got dark.

"Oh. My. God."

A pink disco ball took the glass fixture's place, and music began to play. Everyone glanced unsurely at each other, even Punio who had been here plenty of times. The bedroom doors whooshed open, and a purple…"spirit" came out. She winked at the boys -and Goombella-, leaving them all slack-jawed. Koops and Punio took a few steps back, Mario just gaped, and Link stood in the front, waiting to be thanked properly.

**Instead…**

"Oh! Oh…my…word! Mario, isn't it? Are you my heroic little treasure hunter?" she gushed. Link's face fell.

"Uh hello? I exist too!" Link waved his arms to prove it.

"Well! My my my… Aren't you a FINE specimen of a man! Yes indeed!"

"I'm glad you see it my way…" Link trailed. Mario made an unseen face at Link and pointed to himself.

"I simply MUST thank you for your graciousness! But how to do it? Hmmmm…"

"It's just a necklace Flurrie…"

"Perhaps if I…grabbed you and gave you a little sugar?"

Link held up his hands. "Well I maybe be a fine specimen, but I'm not exactly on the menu-"

Mario rapidly shook his head.

"Here I come handsome! Time to give you a proper thank-you! Pucker up!"

"Okay maybe a small- YAHHHHH!"

Flurrie plowed right through Link, sending him into the wall, dashed into Koops and Punio, propelling them into the air, and smashed her lips up against Mario. Goombella just stood away from the action and cracked up at all of them. Koops and Punio lay in a dazed heap on the plush carpet while Link pulled his spinning eyeballs -attached to his head- out of the wall.

"Love hurts!"

Flurrie showed Mario some mercy, and Mario fell onto the floor too.

"Oh, Mario, you are just the CUTEST little thing I've ever laid eyes on!" Flurrie giggled. Koops and Punio recovered as Mario got enough strength to shake his head no. Link, on the other hand, swore he had bits of wall in his brain and Goombella stated that it might make an improvement.

"Are you truly looking for the Crystal Stars?" the spirit asked. "The very same Crystal Stars spoken of by all the lowlifes in Rogueport?"

Mario: Um…yeah?

"Mmm…a danger filled search for beautiful jewels…how absolutely marvelous! And here I was thinking how frightfully bored I was! It's time for a change! And besides, I do declare… that plush mustache of yours has completely swooned me! A man as manly as you must attract all sorts of trouble! I want to keep you safe!"

"Are you kidding me! What's so great about a wad of hair under your nose? He gets facial feature compliments and I get bull-dozed into a wall!" complained Link. "I'm manly too! C'mon, I've taken out dark Gods with only a sword while he walked down Pleasant Path!"

"It's great that Flurrie likes you Mario. Really, it's great." Punio said. "To the tree!"

"Yeah, a bit too much…" muttered Goombella behind Mario. Link was still pounding at the side of his head while Koops kept telling him nothing was coming out of his ears.

-----

"THAT was awfully fast, and I didn't even warp us!" Link admitted, after they walked back to the tree.

"Well, we DID kind of take out the enemies already…"

"True."

Link knew the tree back on Lavalava was nothing compared to this! The Great Tree wasn't called great for nothing!

"It scares me, and yet it's beautiful all the same…" he huffed. Mario returned to his side after he had spotted a FP Plus Badge behind a small tranquil waterfall and equipped it. Mario gave Link a look that understood. Link smiled. They glanced over to see Punio frantically dancing over where he thought the Secret Entrance was, so they quickly climbed up the tree's giant root, used Flurrie to remove the thingy (which Link "commented" on the useage of the move), and there it was. Ironically, it had a flashing sign that said "Secret Entrance".

"Cool."

"We can finally get inside! Here I gooooooo!" wailed Punio, crawling into the hole.

"He makes it more dramatic that it needs to be…" stated Goombella.

"Aren't Punies just the most precious little things?" Flurrie squealed. She went on to tell everyone of how she was an actress, but came to the woods to get away from city life. It eventually became too much, and needed a change. Link simply nodded to her life story, more focused in his thoughts. Mario, in a whisper, asked if something was wrong, but Link silently shook his head.

"Mario! Can you hear me?" Punio's small voice called out. Everyone looked down to see the red door 's red light turned green, letting it open. Punio dashed out, excited as ever.

"Check it out! I was able to open it from the inside! C'mon! Over here!" he ordered.

"Calm down, calm down; we're coming!" Koops assured. They hopped down and entered the Great Tree.

"Wow. It's smaller on the inside…" commented Link.

"Is it just me, or is it a bit empty?" Koops wondered. Punio ran to the front.

"That's weird. Everyone's usually right here! What the hey?" he explained. "Hey! Elder! Everybody! Come out! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?"

"…I'd tell a joke right about now, but I can't really think of one…" Link stated.

Mario: IT'S A SIGN OF THE END OF THE WORLD!

Something was definitely wrong.

Mario's internal panicking was stopped by two X-nauts stomping out of a door on the other side of the room. Punio backed up next to Mario.

"Wah! Who are YOU guys?!" one yelled. "How'd you get in here?"

The other one instantly recognized Mario. "Whoa! Dude! Is that…Isn't he that Mario guy?"

"WHHHAAAAATTT?!?! He is? Yeah…and there's that Link Fink too!"

"Did he just call me_ Link Fink_?!"

"We'd better get him then!"

"But, dude, Lord Crump told us to tell him IMMEDIATELY if we found Mario. Remember?" the second naut reminded him.

"You idiot! Use your head! If we capture him, we'll get all the credit man! Duhhh!"

"Oh yeah…right on. Let's rock this chump!"

"ONE TWO THREE…BREAK!"

"Whoa…surprise attack!"

The Mario gang had a split second to ready themselves for the oncoming assault.

Mario started things off with a Power Smash, instantly killing the first X-naut. The second one gave a look of fear. Flurrie took aim, floated into the air, then crashed down onto the unsuspecting alien. Gratefully, he was left with two HP. He rolled his arms around, the rammed into Mario. Mario ducked, taking one point of damage. Link slashed what was left of the naut, and gained the Star Points.

"Weakling!"

"C-crud! That stung man!"

"Dude, maybe reporting back to Lord Crump isn't such a bad idea after all!"

They ran back out the door they came in at, but remembered to lock it first.

"Pretty slick work, handling those guys Mario. Seriously, way to go!"

"So those are what we're up against?" Goombella scoffed.

"Don't under estimate them. They were with the guy that jumped me back in the sewers! I remember!" Link warned.

_"Either that or you have no skill…"_

"I heard that!"

"But the question remains…where did everybody go? What could possibly make everyone leave?"

Suddenly, something small scurried across the floor behind two jars. Punio noticed it as Link screamed "Mouse!"

"Finally SOMEONE shows up! What are you doing hiding back there?" he asked. "Come out, for Pete's sake! I found us a powerful ally!"

Punio dragged and rolled the second Puni in front of Link. Link waved, and the poor little creature freaked out.

"He…he's huge!"

"Uh…are you sure your huge mustachioed man and gigantic elf gnome won't try to eat us?" another Puni called from behind another jar. Mario became slightly irritated at being called huge, while Link gaped at how they simply referred to him as "gigantic elf gnome".

"Huh? Hey! Who's that? Who else is back there?"

Then around ten more Punies popped out from behind their safe place, staring at the strangers.

"They're massive…" "I don't like them!" "They'll crush us!" "Danger!" "Nice stache…bad hair!" "It scares me!" "So burly…"

Punio took charge. "Now, don't worry, everyone. This is Mario and Link, and they're our friends. They're here to help! All those bad guys? They'll stomp 'em, just like those last goons."

Finally, the Puni gang came out of hiding. Punio looked around, knowing this was nowhere near the correct amount.

"Is this it? There are so few…Well, we'll have to make do!" he decided. "Let me formally introduce Mario…"

"WAIT!!!" a loud, obnoxious voice rang out. Mario saw Punio scowl darkly as an oversized Puni with an orange antennae crawled out. "How do we know this burly fellow is our ally? He might be one of them!"

"Hello? We just took out the trash with them! Why would we hurt our own kind if we were with them?" Link retorted.

"Wow! That's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say!" exclaimed Goombella.

"Shut up!"

Punio exasperatedly walked up to the Puni. "Puniper! What're you saying? He's not one of them! Listen, we can all fight alongside Mario and Link and chase those goons out of here! We can take back our tree. We can take back our homes!"

"Hah! Big, bad Punio…listen to you! Trying to sound all important-like! You have no idea the kind of troubles we've been in while you were gone!" Puniper stormed away from Punio. Team Mario exchanged glances among themselves.

"What? What are you talking about Puniper?" Punio rushed to follow him, then took a good look at the tribe of Punies. "…and why are so few of you here anyway? What happened to everyone?"

Puniper's reply was stated like it was obvious and unimportant. "Well, they've been captured…by those goons! The elder…everybody! Including…YOUR SISTER!"

Punio snapped. He jumped at Puniper in shock, knocking the chunky Puni onto Mario's foot. Mario winced.

"WHAT?!? PETUNI?!? Tell me it isn't so!"

"Well, I think someone would know their sister is missing just by looking at a small number of their kind huh?"

"Oh, it's so all right! She was taken off somewhere with the rest of them! They said it was because we wouldn't tell them where to find some crystal thing. We told them we'd never heard of it." Puniper finished.

"Oh poor Petuni…well that absolutely tears it! We've all got to go look for them right away!" demanded Punio. Puniper was fed up.

"What are you saying Punio? We can't do anything to those giant goons! Besides, they aren't alone. The cursed Jabbi Tribe is in league with them. They're hoping to make this tree their own once we've been driven from it. This is it for us. The end! Adding this hairy old man to our ranks won't help a bit!"

Mario: Hairy old man?!?!?!

"I'm not good enough to be mentioned?!" Link protested, but was silenced by Koops.

"How can you say that? You can't know that! We have to try, don't you see? Think about it! If we all get together we can take care of any stupid Jabbies! So, who's with me, huh? Come on everyone! Let's pull our strength!"

Everyone was on Puniper's side on this one. Puniper cackled madly. "Hah! Punio, Punio, Punio…You'll have to convince me, because I think you're nuts."

"What's that supposed to mean?" whined Punio, who at this point was really wishing that everyone saw it in his perspective.

But Puniper just turned smugly to Mario. "Tell you what: you and Mr. Mustache and Dr. Gnome over there can get the revolution started! If you can free our friends who got locked up somewhere in the tree…then I'll join your little crusade. Hah! Like that'll ever happen! Please!"

Punio's eye twitched. "Fine! We'll show you! Right Mario? Right Link? C'mon! Follow me to glory! Let's go help them!"

Link "Accidentally" stepped on Puniper, and received a bad look in return. Everyone in the room snickered, yet Puniper didn't appear phased.

"We'll show you!" Link grunted, more to himself than to Puniper…though who knows why?

* * *

**Almost forgot it was Friday (I've had 2 1/2 days of school this week and it messed my schedule up) And more inner commtion with Link. Wonder what's going through his head...**

**On a lesser note, almost 100 reviews _already_!?! That's so incredible! If you remember, we didn't hit that until chapter 41-ish last time! (aka Piranha Plant Boss). That's just so...awesome! I'm totally honored *^***


	17. Return of the Cheesy Mouse

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 16: Return of the Cheesy Mouse

The gang had only one way of getting out of the previous room- a stump pipe that went upward. It was a small area, but what grabbed everyone's attention now was Punio.

"Man I HATE Puniper! He's just jealous that I'll have a life…and he won't! He's just acts all big and important to shun me and make everything worse! Why can't he just cooperate so we can at least make it worthwhile?" Punio rambled. Link looked up from looking down. He walked over to Punio, and-if he was taller-put an arm around his shoulders, and said, "We've got your back."

"We sure do Punio! Puniper_ has_ been one of my lesser faves…" Flurrie admitted.

"Your sister is going to be fine!" assured Goombella.

Mario: Oh yeah!

Punio smiled. "Thanks guys! Let's go save the tree! Onward!"

Mario noted that there was a weird pedestrial with a rainbow pad underneath, and went up another pipe.

"Is all we can go is up?" complained Koops.

"No, we can go down, but we need Elder's help to get there!" Punio explained.

"Well there's nothing here!" Link input.

"I found a Power Punch!" cried Goombella, magically holding it above her head.

"Gimmie!" Link snagged it and put it in his pack. "This could be useful!"

"X-naut!" screamed Koops, jumping out of the way of a dash.

"Kooper- I will never get used to this. _Koops_! At least counter attack!"

"Um…I'll try…"

The X-naut charged at Koops again, but he was ready this time. He shot into his shell and rocketed at the X-naut, getting the first strike.

"Yeah!" "Woo-hoo!" "Way to go!"

"Aw, it was nothing…"

Link slashed at what remained, until he noticed the floating green thing.

"WHAT IS THAT?!!?"

"According to my book, it says that that's a Yux, and it can make Mini-Yux to create a shield around it. The shield is so strong, you can't attack it…"

Everyone glanced to the side to see the Yux blow a circular laser at Link -who blocked it-, and then a little triangle floated by it, cause a green shield to surround it.

"How do we get rid of that shield?"

Goombella shrugged. "Simply get rid of the Mini-Yux."

Mario had Flurrie go first, used her Body slam, and the Yux was free. Mario Power Bounced on it, able to kill it in one blow.

"Well now we know we can handle those things…" Koops stated.

"We'll just X them out!" cackled Link. "Because they're shaped like X's?" Mario thanked the stars he was telling awful jokes again, even though that last one was really bad. Link, still laughing, followed Mario and co. up another pipe. Mario's quick and nimble skills allowed him to duck under another Yux's attack, and Link hacked at it while it was distracted. They high-fived each other and carried on.

------

In a room with light seeping through the cracks-and an unusual window- an X-naut stood guarding a small chest. It appeared to be at the top of the tree, if you want to get technical.

"Man…this is brutal. How much longer 'til we find that stupid Crystal Star?" he moaned. "Not even those puny Punies we captured know anything about it. And they live here! After all this pointless searching, I'm thinking we're looking in the wrong place…"

Just then, a shadowy figure jumped in from the window and landed silently behind the X-naut. He turned around a moment too late, because he was punched on the pressure point and was knocked out.

"Um…Ouch?"

-----

On the same floor, but on the other side, Mario, Link, Flurrie, Goombella, Punio, and Koops arrived out of yet another pipe. And Mario thought he went through a lot of pipes! Punio instantly ran out.

"Elder!" referring to an old hag in a red cage.

"Punio! Is that you? You're looking well!" was the reply. The rest of the group caught up with him.

"Why are you so calm Elder? You're trapped! And this is our daring rescue of you!" gaped the Puni hero.

"Oh, a rescuing, is it? Well, thanks, I suppose. Those are quite exciting. But…I think you ought to help the other Punies before you rescue me."

"Where are the others?"

"Hrrmm…let me think…where was I? Ah. Yes. Right. Your Question. The rest of the Punies…"

"Try next door…" Goombella said while rolling her eyes.

"Big brother? Is that my Punio?"

Punio was at the blue cage the same moment he heard his name, leaving his elder's rant in the dust. "Petuni! Thank heavens! You're here! You're safe!" he rejoiced.

"I don't think being in a cage is really 'safe' but…" muttered Koops.

"It does look a bit…**Puni**! Huh huh?" Link cracked. Mario smacked his head.

"I thought you made a joke improvement, honestly…" Goombella pointed out.

"It beat the "X pun"…" added Flurrie.

"I knew you'd come for me Punio! I just knew it!" Petuni cried happily. Punio mirrored her expression.

"Of course I would dear sister! And I've brought us some mighty allies. Look at them!"

_"That purple one looks mighty all right_…" a Puni whispered.

_"Yeah…can't say the same for the green wearing one…"_

"We're going to get you out of there right away, I swear. You just hold tight a second." he promised.

"Ok!"

Punio turned to Mario. "Mario, Link! Listen…We've got to find the cell key or we're going nowhere!"

"Well obviously! What were we supposed to do? Chop down the metal door with our bare hands?" Link ranted.

"Hey, shut up a moment will ya?" Goombella hissed. "There's a room over there! Maybe there's a key!"

"Yes! She might be right! My key adventure instincts are kicking in! Follow me!" Link said, heading forward. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Ms. Mowz, a small chest, and a knocked out X-naut.

"Oh, well, isn't this a treat!" she said as Mario and co. caught up with Link. "We must stop meeting like this, don't you think?"

"Excuse me? We must what? Are you a friend of Mario's?" Flurrie demanded to know.

Link magically redonned his tuxedo, even though he had torn it in two the first time. "Yes we really should. Maybe next time we could meet…on a date?"

He felt something punch him in the back of the head. He was about to shout out Goombella's name, until he realized that she had no arms, wasn't tall enough to even hit him in the head, and was standing in front of him.

"Are you seriously falling for such a floozy?" Flurrie scoffed.

"That's what I'm saying' girlfriend!" gasped Goombella, glad someone understood.

"To answer your question_ Balloon_…" Link said the last word menacingly. "She is a great friend of ours!"

"She's a thief!" guffawed Goombella.

"Oh wait…I see. And I most certainly do NOT approve!"

Ms. Mowz gave a charmed look at Link and Mario, then glared at Goombella and Flurrie. Koops was jumping up and down to get some attention, briefly forgetting that he had a girlfriend.

"Well, anyway," Ms. Mowz continued annoyed. "I heard there were nice badges to be found here, so I came looking…only problem is, I've been running into more trouble than I expected."

"You just knocked out a guy!"

"Either with a fist or your beauty…"

She ran up to Mario and pecked his cheek once more. Link shredded the suit in agony. Flurrie and Goombella just scoffed. Koops didn't, or wasn't allowed to, comment.

"MMMM hmm hmm hmm! But who cares about that? LOVELY to see you again!" she teased. The white mouse did two back flips and landed on the window ledge, once again.

"Oh mercy me! Mario! You're popular with all the girls, aren't you?" Flurrie seemed to ease down a little.

"Yeah he IS…I can't get a break whatsoever!" pouted Link, sitting on the tuxedo shards.

Ms. Mowz just smirked in the window, sun reflecting off her mask. She slightly turned away. "The precious Crystal Star you're looking for is near the bottom of this tree. Good luck finding it before the others! Mmm hmm hmm hmm! Take care, my handsome 'stache superstar! Let's get together again soon!"

And she was gone.

Flurrie scooted closer to Mario. "Well! Don't worry Mario! I'm not TOO jealous…"

"Why would you be? You practically snogged him while she gave a gentle peck!" blurted Koops.

"What a shameless flirt though!"

The figure that had been tailing Ms. Mowz at Hooktail Castle reshowed up at the window. Gasping quietly at the sight of Mario and Link, it ducked down and watched carefully.

The X-naut had suddenly woken up, rubbing his side and turning around to see the group.

"Well that's not good…"

"Urgh my aching…Hey you! You're the dirt bag who hit me from behind aren't you?!" he growled.

"I totally saw this coming…"

"Yeah, real fair, you scum! You fight dirty, you get dirty! And I'll be doing the dirtying!"

"People get psychotic when they think you've knocked them out…"

Suddenly, the X-Naut fell like he was hit with something and the Red Key appeared where he, well, disappeared. Link picked it up and stared at where the Naut had once been.

"that was too weird…do you think Ms. Mowz left a trap for him in case he woke up before we left?"

"No, she didn't even know we were coming!"

Punio nudged Link. "Well…no matter what happened, we still need to save the Punies. Let's go."

Everyone agreed and practically single-filed out the doorway.

------

The figure put away the pack of explode-on-contact(s). It looked down, watching Ms. Mowz scurry away on the rainbow floor. The communication device went off once again, and only these words were heard:

"Yeah, I missed her again. But…something a little more important had to take place…yes. It was them."

Communications were cut off, and the figure free-fell off the side of the tree.

----

Link darted back into the room with the Ms. Mowz encounter.

"I can't believe we forgot that chest!" he cried, running behind the bush and opening it. Inside the chest was an Ultra Shroom. He fainted.

"Link! Link? C'mon! We have to save the-" Punio's voice was stopped short. "GUYS HE DIED!"

Mario and friends were in the room within a heartbeat. Mario saw Link on the ground and told everyone it was okay.

"So…he's having an "I-found-an-Ultra-Shroom" moment?" confirmed Koops. Mario nodded. He picked the item out of Link's hand and waved it in front of his nose. Link sprung up.

"This is amazing! How come they were so unfindable on our last adventure? Now I randomly open up a chest and pop one out?!"

"Hurry up! I'd like to prove Puniper wrong today…"

"Sheesh, anxious…"

Mario, a few moments later, unlocked the door to the elder's cage, and Punio felt like a hero. Too bad heroes don't get yelled at.

"Elder! We're back! We're here to rescue you!" Punio cheered. The elder wasn't so happy.

"**FOOLISH CHILD**!"

Everyone recoiled and took five steps back.

"Punio! Sit down this instant and keep your mouth shut!"

"Huh? What? Why? What did I do?" he defended. "Uh, listen Elder, I don't know why you're mad but we came here to help you…"

"Stop your mumbling you! And mind your elders! You whelp!"

"Ooh!"

"You were dissed by a geezer!"

"Must be an OLD burn!"

"…"

Punio's jaw wouldn't close.

"How could you abandon your poor sister and run off like that…absolutely shameful!"

"But…but Elder…I just went to find help…to help rescue you…"

Elder hopped up and down. "Oh, stop with the whining! You never interrupt an elder mid-lecture! NEVER!"

"She's mad now…"

"She might HAG something up!"

"Aw Link…"

"You wonder why the other Punies call you a "doofus" sometimes. That's why."

"OOOH!" "Burned again!" "How can you STAND that?" "How sad…"

"And your time to be a doofus is over, because you have to lead our Puni Tribe one day! That day is not far off!…And THAT is why you need to listen! Now first of all…"

**Several Hours Later…**

Everyone was sprawled on the ground sleeping, including the Punies next door. Punio was trying his best to pay attention to Elder, but he was on the verge of sleep too.

"…Or else! You got that? From now on, you've got to get your act together Punio!"

"Yes Elder. Yes I understand."

"Bah! Only answer ONCE!"

Link stretched and yawned. "Yawn…did she stop babbling yet? But man, did I need that rest!"

"But say, by the way, why are you here anyway?"

The million dollar question was…answered several hours ago!

"Uh, I was just telling you…We came to rescue everyone. We started with you Elder."

"Oh! Is that so? Well good! In that case, get me out of here already! Criminy! This cell is cold, which isn't good for the old back, and there's this damp stench…"

"Oh, that's just Goombella. All mushrooms have that stench…" Link explained.

"DID YOU JUST SAY I SMELL?!?!"

"…"

Before anyone could answer anybody, Elder had slithered away. Punio shook his head.

"Uh…well, there's she goes. Enough standing around!" Mario just now woke up. Punio headed over to his sister's cell. "Just you wait Petuni! I'll be right back for you!"

"Ok Big Brother. I'll be waiting!" Petuni answered. Punio strolled away with his head held high. He had saved the Elder! Maybe saving Petuni would be a snap…or not.

----

When Team Mario returned, Puniper appeared shocked. (Keyword: Appeared).

"Well if it isn't Punio…" he started. Punio strode up to him, ready to bash back any trash talk. "Hmph!"

"What?!"

"You heard me! Hmph!" Puniper snapped. "I can't say I expected you to manage to rescue the elder…"

"I told you I could do it!" Punio ponged back.

"Look at his little stubby tail!" Goombella gushed, walking over and flinging Puniper's stub.

"I can't help that I was born abnormal, okay?!" Puniper hissed. He returned his attention back to Punio. "And you…don't get a swelled head!"

"Bigger than yours?" Link chortled, Puniper receiving muffled laughter. Puniper slightly turned red before continuing. "This doesn't mean I'll accept you as our leader…and it definitely doesn't mean I completely trust that mustache guy either! For starters, you still haven't rescued the other Punies yet. I'm not lifting an antenna to help until you do."

Punio gave a smug look. "Oh, I know someone who will change your mind…" he sang.

"YOU STUBBORN MULE!" howled Elder, grown about 50 sizes. "Deplorable! How DARE you talk like that, knowing what we're up against! We must stand together now! We must take back our tree! Don't you understand that?"

Punio leaned in and whispered in Puniper's ear. "Exactly what I said, isn't it? Maybe I will be a great leader, and you'll be the doofus!"

Puniper growled. "But…But Elder…"

"No defying the Elder!" Punio scolded.

"Shut your trap, Puniper! And mind me, you hear? You'll help Mustachio and Elfie here…What'd you say your names were again? It was Marty and Lint, wasn't it?"

"She just called me Lint…"

"It's Mario! He's Mario! I mean sheesh, he's only world famous! Come on!" Punio explained. Link waved. "…and he's Link!"

"Yes, yes, simmer down you. And everyone else, help Marty-O and Lint-kuh clear out the tree!"

"Lint-kuh is worse than plain old Lint!"

"Oh, all right elder…whatever you say…" Puniper sighed, defeated. Punio broke out into a song and dance. "I'm not heartless or anything-"

"HUH?!?"

"To tell you the truth, I'm worried about Petuni too."

"_Only_ Petuni?" "I smell crush!" "Ooh…" "Marvelous!"

Puniper blushed again. "And you're right. We have no choice. We must fight! Right, everybody?"

"There you go, my Punies! That's the spirit!" Elder cheered. All the Punies huddled next to Mario.

"Thanks you guys…" Punio stated.

"Say, if you have a moment…might I ask a question?" Flurrie asked. "We're looking for a lovely gem called a Crystal Star…do you know of it?"

"The Crystal Star, eh? Hrrrrmmmm…yes perhaps…hidden down, down at the bottom of this tree is a funny colored stone. But what do we do with it? Oh, right: Guard it from evil and give it to a pure heart…That's what generations of elders have been taught. Might be the Crystal Star."

"Cool!" "Oh boy…" "Since when does a tree have a 'down'?"

"Marty! Or…Marty-o and Lint-kuh! I'm thinking you'd better get it before those goons do. I don't quite see just yet, but I bet it's connected to us getting our tree back. You got all that Marty-o? Crystal Star. Bottom part of the tree. Go to it."

"Well, when you spell it out that way, it makes it pretty easy…" Link noted.

"Oh wait! Before you can get to the Crystal Star, you must save all of the captured Punies."

"Knew there was a catch."

"Yup you'll never get to that gem without the help of the Punies. Not a chance. So here. You'd better take this. It's the Puni Orb. It's the symbol of our leader."

She brought up a squishy sun-like sphere, and held it out to Mario. The red plumber walked up and placed it in his pocket.

"If you place this in the pedestals you see around the tree, the Punies will gather. Just remember to take the orb with you when you're done using it."

"All right guys! Let's go rescue everybody!" Punio cheered. The band of Punies followed behind, letting Mario lead the way.

"And we're off! For real this time!"

"Let's do this!"


	18. Jabbing Jabbies

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 17: Jabbing Jabbies

"I'll never forgive that hag for knocking me down…with sound!" complained Link, standing on the pedestal pad as the Punies gathered to stare at the orb. "Seriously, what kind of mutant grandma is she? Can grow big, sonic echo…what's next?"

"That pipe that just appeared?"

Everyone glanced toward the back of the room to see a pipe grow out of the ground.

"Would ya look at that!" exclaimed Flurrie.

"Down we go!" Punio hurrahed. In the previously inaccessible area, an X-naut was guarding the currently locked door, and instantly went nuts on Mario.

"Whoa! Where did he come fro-" Link started to ask, but was knocked off the edge by a flying Mario.

"AHHHHHHH! This is the end, my friend! Goodbye-" Both heroes landed hard after a brief fall. "-yowch! Shallowest pool ever…Mario! You're flying!"

Mario found himself suddenly floating in a bubble, fighting to get out. He popped it, and fell into Link's arms.

"That was cool! I wish I was small enough to be in a bubble!"

Mario: Gives look to Link

Link grinned sheepishly. "Uh, not that _you're_ small or anything..." He set the plumber down, and Mario went to get a Shine Sprite that was tucked away in the corner.

"Link! Mario! Are you guys okay? We heard a girly scream and wondered if you suffered a concussion!" Goombella called from the edge.

"We're fine…we found a Shine Sprite, and now we're working on a way to get out of here!"

"Check the pipe in the corner behind you…"

Link shifted his vision to see a pipe waiting to take him back.

"Like I said, I was **working** on it!"

Once Mario returned with the Shine Sprite and a Thunder Rage, they took out the X-naut single handedly to get revenge for being knocked off the side. Mario noticed the pedestal, the bubbly pool, and the Punies, so he instantly put 2 and 2 together and had Flurrie blow them all in. She kept blowing when they came up, all wrapped up in little bubbles, and drifted over the gap. Link and the extra partners jumped across, followed shortly by Flurrie, and Mario grabbed the Puni Orb before following.

"Clever thinking Mario! You're so smart…" Flurrie complimented. Link, Koops, Goombella, Punio, and several other Punies stuck out their tongues. Mario just grinned and hoped his mustache was covering up his blush. He swapped his main partner to be Goombella, and instantly slunk down the pipe.

-----

"You know…now that I think about it, this reminds me of this Olimar guy Samus and I met when Kirby was sick and Sonic was off on an adventure. He had all these little critters, kinda of like what we have now…" Link suddenly recalled. Mario nodded, used to Link telling him about some story that happened before they met. It kind of entertained him actually.

"It was pretty awesome! Samus had wanted to check out a world where they go to other planets, and we found this astronaut getting ready to take off and-_SPIDER_!!!"

"**Spider**?!" "Oh my god where?!" "I HATE SPIDERS!" "Eeek!!!"

All the Punies instantly screamed and backed away.

"Hit it Kooper!"

"My name is **Koops**! Sheesh…"

_Koops_ nevertheless hit the spider, indicating a battle. He and Mario, being the brave ones, squashed it without any problems.

"It takes REAL men…" sighed Koops, making a muscle. Goombella came over and literally Headbonked him.

"Oh, be quiet! Spiders are nasty!"

"Well, it's gone now…" Link shivered, leaning against a giant pot. He then pushed himself up off it, only to feel it move. "Hey Flurrie! Try blowing the pot away!"

Flurrie shrugged and Mario helped her guide her gust. It flew off, revealing an airplane pad underneath.

"Quick Mario! Use your "Curse"!"

Mario nodded and transformed into an airplane. Link sighed and watched as he hovered about in the air, landing on another pad. He transformed once again, then landing on a black cube with a Shine Sprite on it. The rest of the gang caught up with Mario via pipe, but two Pale Piranhas managed to find them. It was taken out with little effort, and Mario and Link leveled up.

"Yeah! Another award for all the hard work I do…" boasted Link, snagging FP. Mario took some more BP, on account of his awesome badge supply was getting quite big.

"Yup, you sure worked hard when that spider crawled in front you-"

"I wouldn't be talking Miss "Ew! Spiders are nasty!""

Goombella scoffed and looked away, Link following the Punies and Mario down the next pipe.

----

"Hey! A fly!" cried Koops. The fly saw them coming and ran into a little cave.

"Mario! Did you see it? That was a Jabbi! Based on what Puniper said-"

"-which is undeniably correct…" snickered Puniper from behind.

"-they're helping the intruders and trying to seize the tree. Our tribes have been enemies now for a long time. Every time we meet, we fight. A lot."

"Dang!" Koops muttered.

"…But I used to get along with Jabble. He's one of the Jabbi Tribe…I wonder if even Jabble is my enemy now…"

Link picked Punio up. "I'm sure Jabble is still your friend, even if it seems he's against you."

"Really?"

"Sure! Just as long as you don't do anything to make him change his mind!"

Punio nodded as he leapt down from his palm. "Right. Follow me to Glory!"

They all nodded and ran into the cavern. As they got closer to the other side, a siren started blaring.

"Everyone! It's the Jabbies!" Punio shouted. "It's a 10 Jabbi-squadron! Uh…let's get them!"

Link unsheathed his sword. "YAH!!!!" The Jabbies trembled in fear, but were instantly tackled by the Punies. Puniper easily crushed one, while another was simply smacked across the face with a wing.

"Whoa, Nelly!"

Mario smacked a few with his hammer, but they were so small Link's sword couldn't hit any of them.

"Take that! And some of this!" shouted Punio, kicking a random Jabbi as one of his own tribe soared over his head. When the Jabbi was finished off, he realized that he, Puniper, and two other Punies were all that lasted, but they had taken care of the Jabbies.

"Wow! We did it! We defeated every last Jabbi here!" cheered the green-antennae Puni. "Now we have to destroy the Jabbi Hive fortress!"

As the Punies recorved, entered the hive, and instantly destroyed it, Link snuck out of the cavern for some fresh atmosphere.

"Whew…what a battle! I need some air after that!" Link gasped. Flurrie instantly rushed out, along with Punio, crashing into Link, sending all three off the edge. Mario and the rest of the gang peeked over the edge.

"Hey! What are you doing? We have to go save to other Punies!" Puniper cried.

"Get…Flurrie…off me…" Link wheezed. Punio managed to squeeze half-out and also start gasping for air. Mario and the partners jumped down, leaving the other 10 Punies to watch in wonder. Mario and Kooper heaved Flurrie off ,after she explained she was running from a fly that was trying to attack her.

"I was following her because I was trying to tell her it was already dead…"

"Well then, THAT'S taken care of…" murmured Koops. "Let's get going-"

"WAIT!" Link shouted. "I feel…a Shroom's presence…"

Everyone stared at him as he felt around the wall. He located a weak spot and told Flurrie to blow on it.

"No need to be so demanding!"

"There is a store behind here woman! I need to get to it!"

Flurrie sighed and blew the cover away; Link rushed in the second it was gone and started buying stuff.

"Wow…he wasn't kidding…" whistled Goombella. Punio had never seen the store before, and he took a careful look around. He snooped around a stump, finding someone behind there. A Jabbie suddenly jumped out, making Punio shriek.

"Hey! It's Jabble! Why are you hiding back there?" he wondered. The store keeper instantly turned around to gawk.

"Whoa! A Jabbi? Not good! This little feller is gonna get mixed up in my stock!" he cried. "…But I suppose I can't go disciplinin' him. He's still just a kid, after all…"

"Yeah…how was he gonna get mixed up in the stock anyway?" Link shrugged.

"OH! What a PRECIOUS little thing! He hasn't done anything wrong!" gushed Flurrie.

"Mario, we can't hurt him! He's my friend!" Punio begged.

"But what if he's in league with the Jabbies?" Puniper called from the doorway. "I say we teach him a lesson!"

Punio ran up to Puniper, unaware of how he jumped into the conversation, and put his face up in his. "I said no! We're not hurting my friend! Was if he isn't with the tribe and we hurt him? Then he'll go against us!"

"He's still a no good Jabbi…I say we wail on 'im!"

"Over my dead body!"

"That can be arranged."

"Yeah, with your oversized body!"

"Are you calling me fat?!"

"Maybe…"

"YARGH!"

Punio and Puniper started duking it out, Link cheered on the sidelines until Mario told him to knock it off. Mario told Jabble they wouldn't hurt him, and Punio shouted "Take that, Puniper!"

"Hey…you know what? I think Jabble wants to join us!" Goombella gasped as she closely looked at Jabble. Puniper's jaw dropped as Punio started dancing and mocking him. Jabble nodded his head.

"I told you he was still your friend Punio!" Link chuckled.

"Whoo hoo! I'm so glad you're not evil Jabble!" shrieked Punio. "We're kinda going to take out your tribe though, but we have to save the tree!"

Jabble nodded to say he understood.

"I had heard rumors…from Madame Flurrie to them Jabbies…" the store keeper explained. "Yeah, the word is out: Mario can win over the hearts of anyone and everyone!"

"I hope that works for my friends…" murmured Link, but realized Mario probably would be able to pull it off.

-----

Now reunited with the rest of the Punies, the gang re-traveled into the right Jabbie cavern.

"This is an amazing room! Such creative genius!" awed Goombella. "I wonder how long it took Punies to build this!"

"I found the key to the blue cell!" Koops cheered, pulling out the blue key from a small chest.

"Good work! Let's head back to the top of the tree and save everyone!" Punio congratulated.

Mario nodded, making a quick note of the X-boards on the ground and the statues Goombella was looking at…

----

Back at the blue cell, Petuni was fumbling with something that finally got the best of the Puni telling the story of what was going to happen to them.

"…and they'll never come back and that's that and what's going to happen to us and…hey, by the way…what's that thing you've been holding onto so tightly?"

Petuni released her grip on a dried, shriveled, old mushroom and sighed. "It's a mushroom…"

"Oh. Not to be, you know, rude…but it's all dry and wrinkly and gross."

She chuckled nervously and placed it back in her pocket. "Yeah, Yeah, I know…I picked it so I could give it to my brother to eat. But then I got captured and stuck in here, and after a few days it dried out."

"Oh really? Great story. Anyway, don't worry so much. All my complaining aside, I'm sure Punio will return."

**At the top of the tree several minutes later…**

"I have returned Petuni!" Punio wailed the moment they were in the room. "Mario! Hurry up and open it!"

Mario pulled out the blue key and stuck it into the cell's lock. The door whooshed opened, and he and Link were bombarded by the Puni horde.

"Big brother!!!" Petuni gasped, and the crowd made some room for the two to reunite.

"Little Petuni! Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?" Punio instantly freaked.

"Nope! I'm fine!"

"Thank heavens…"

"Hey Big Brother…I have something for you!" she shrieked excitedly.

_"She's seriously not going to give him that, is she?!"_ the story Puni guffawed to himself.

"Give him wha-" Link started to ask, until he saw the poor dead Shroom.

It was the worst sight Link had ever seen.

"Mario…why must such good things die?!" he sobbed ten seconds later. "I never knew they could turn into that!!! How can- IS HE EATING THAT?! I could **never** stomach such a tragedy…I'd rather bury it!"

"Are you done with the soap opera yet?"

"You'll never understand Goombella!"

"Oh nasty…"

"Big brother…It was icky wasn't it? I'm sorry…"

"No! Not…urk! Not at all! Mmmmm-MMMM! Delicious! Very…uh…urp…gag…yummy…" choked her big brother.

"You OK?"

"GIVE ME A HUG PETUNI!!!"

"No! Quit…everyone's staring…"

"Well it was just a really sweet gesture, that's all…"

Petuni giggled, and she and the other 89 Punies joined up with Mario.

"101...Punies!!" sang Link.

"C'mon! Let's head to the left Jabbi cavern and take out the bugs there!" hurrahed Punio. "…no offense Jabble…"

Jabble: None taken. Why did they have to join the X-nauts anyway?

**Back at previously said cavern after having another spider heart attack-**

The sirens blared again, and this time, 100 Jabbies came spewing out.

"Chaaaaaaaaaaarrge!" shouted Punio, and all haydes broke loose. Jabble was instantly taken out for being a traitor, Punio defended Petuni, Puniper catapulted himself like a cannonball, and about 20 Punies were already defeated. Flurrie helped what remained of Punies by blowing the Jabbies into a corner. Link had somehow acquired a fly swatter and was swatting and stepping on Jabbies like mad. Mario hammered them, and finally, the Jabbies were defeated, with only 26 Punies left.

"Everyone! Get up! Let's destroy the hive fortress!" Punio mashed. The Punies managed to get up and blew up the hive.

"Gah…and I thought 10 Jabbies were hard…" panted Link.

* * *

**Surprise! I had a snow day today, so I'm celebrating with an early chapter! Hooray! (plus there was another reason, but that's a secret ;)**


	19. Getting to the Bottom of Several Things

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 18: Getting to the Bottom of -Several-Things

Subtitle- The Wonder People Save the Punies

Mario, Link, Goombella, Koops, Flurrie, Punio, Puniper, Petuni, and all of the Puni Tribe had passed a board nailed into the tree, defeated two Pale Piranhas, and had hit a dead end.

"Hey! Isn't that one of the things we put that Puni Orb in?" Link asked, pointing to a pedestal with some crude drawing and random scrawl.

"I think so…but it looks a little askew…" observed Punio.

"But there's nowhere else to go, so we might as well try it!" suggested Goombella.

Mario: Okay!

He placed said orb into the hole and…a cage dropped on them out from nowhere. Not only that, but a pipe that was hidden was suddenly revealed.

"Oh yeah! Let's try it and get captured!" Link cheered sarcastically.

"I didn't hear you coming up with anything!" Goombella snapped. "Besides, you, Mario, me, Koops, and Flurrie can just slide out of here!"

"But the elder said we can't get the Crystal Star without the Punies!" Koops pointed out.

As they were arguing over the situation, an annoying laugh suddenly boomed out. Link recognized it and gaped.

"**Buh! Buh! BUH HUH HUH**!"

Lord Crump and two X-nauts instantly arrived on the scene.

"Man, you guys are dense! Brilliant little trap huh? And BOY, did you bite on it!" Crump bragged. "I saw you sticking that silly little stone on the pedestals, so I made a fake one…awesome! I mean, I KNEW it was great, but seeing you fall for it really gives me a warm fuzzy."

"You're the guy who stole my Crystal Star!" Link shouted.

"Well well well! So nice to see you again…_in my trap_!" Crump cackled. Goombella pushed her way next to Link.

"You mean to tell me you lost a Crystal Star to _Lord Chump_?!"

"Wow, he DOES lack skill…"

"HEY!"

"It's CRUMP missy! And yeah, it was like taking candy from a baby! He was holding it, staring with a sad look in his eyes! So convenient too! I had just arrived looking for that thing, and my minions bagged him and I nabbed the star! Then we tossed him back in Rogueport's main square, since we didn't need him anymore…I never thought he'd wind up with Mario!"

Link scowled and pressed his face up against the bar. "I'm going to get my Crystal Star back you creep! You're going to pay!"

"Um, I doubt it." Crump started laughing again. Several people/Punies covered their ears. "You guys are such idiots, it HURTS! Anyway, with you guys out of the picture, I can take my time hunting the Crystal Star. **Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh!"**

"Mario, we can't let him nab another Crystal Star! I'm not going to let him get away with this!" Link yelled.

Mario: Calm down…

"Yeah Link! If we can't get to the Crystal Star without the Punies, then I don't think Crump is going to either…"

Link nodded. "Good point. So while he epic fails we can find you Punies a way out!"

Mario used his curse to make his original team thin, and then crawled through the bars.

"My! Such wonderful drama! I imagine we have something to do now, don't we?" Flurrie sighed.

"Down this pipe we go!"

**Down the pipe-**

"Whoa! Even more statues!" Goombella stated, fascinated. She started writing down notes about them, not missing anything.

"Hey! A switch!" Link cried. He was going to jump on it, until he remembered the first time he jumped on a switch, and simply hit it with his sword. Everyone felt the tree shake, but strangely the quake was coming from higher up.

"Something tells me we should go back to the right Jabbi cavern…" hummed Flurrie.

"Just what I was thinking!" Goombella said.

"Then we waste no time, my friends! Back up we go!" commented Link, fist raised in the air.

**Right Jabbi cavern where awesome statues are-**

"Amazing! There are switches here now!" cried Goombella. There were four white and black switches, all placed in front of a statue. When Mario hit one, a picture on a statue would change.

"Goombella…what was the order of the statues in the other room?"

"Uh…let me see…" She flipped violently through her notes. "Oh! Here: Sun, Moon, Puni, Star. Match them with the statues Mario!"

Mario hit the first until it was sun, the second until it was a moon, and so on and so forth. The ground shook again, and the four statues peeled away, revealing a hidden room.

"I wonder why it was hidden…"

"Probably for some ploy in a video game…" scoffed Link. "They always pull stunts like that."

Inside the room, five statues and pots sat behind one impressively large chest. Mario knew was that meant and threw it open.

_Mario got the Super Boots!_

Link dove into the chest to see if there was anything for him.

_Link got the…Super Shoes?_

"What the?! These are for Sonic, not me! Otherwise I'd have, like, Super Boots too!" Link exclaimed, disappointed.

Mario: Hang onto them.

"Good idea! If we ever run into him, he'll need these for a Super up-grade!"

Mario was then transported to a place where Toadette taught him how to use his boots, though he already knew how. When she was done, they found that Mario could Spin Jump on the board pads.

"…and that's how we can free the Punies!" screamed Goombella. "Genius!"

Mario walked out of the room and Spin jumped on the pad in that room. He fell onto a black block, and then Link fell on him.

"Sorry…I wanted to check it out too!"

Mario muttered something nasty as they both stood up. Link saw the Shine Spite and expertly jumped over to get to it.

"Another one down…I wonder who we're going to level up next…"

Mario said he was thinking about it.

"Okay then…time to save the Punies…again."

**Back at the Trap Cage-**

Mario placed the Puni Orb in the pedestal to get all the Punies to calm down, then broke the Spin Jump pad in the cell. Then Link used Flurrie to blow all the Punies into the hole. As Link jumped down the hole-since he couldn't slide through the bars by himself- Mario and the Punies arrived out of the pipe.

"Where did Link go?"

Link rose from the pipe, then shouted "BOO!" in Goombella's ear.

"HEY!!"

"Ha ha ha ha! You should've seen your face!"

Goombella turned a dark shade of red while muttering "You'll regret that…"

Mario told everyone to focus and headed up one more lever. He placed the Puni Orb into the pedestal, and Flurrie blew them all onto the large stump just below them. Mario and Link jumped down to follow.

"This is going pretty well!" Link admitted.

"Don't jinx it…"

Mario agreed, and jumped down the next pipe, the hundred and one Punies trotting in also.

-----

The next parts of the tree were practically based off water.

"We must be in the roots then…" concluded Goombella. Link was about to make a comment, but stopped when an X-naut started running up to them. With it being only 4 HP, Mario jumped in front of Link's attack and jumped the X-naut to death.

"Lucky! Man…I want my Super Up-grade!"

Mario shrugged and kept walking. They reached the other side, which only had a pipe, and they headed down. As soon as they hit the next floor, a Yux's attack hit them.

"Gah! I HATE these things!"

"No worries dear! I'll simply blow them away!" Flurrie promised, doing as she said. The three Yuxs were easily blown away, and Link high fived Flurrie. The gang went down, again, this time in a room full of water.

_Without a way to get across the water, team Mario once again headed down a pipe that really looked like a stump and-_

"Stop narrating Link!"

"Well we need to spice up all this traveling down! Man…the elder wasn't kidding when she said the bottom of the tree!"

As they were arguing, Mario jumped across black blocks to reach the other side of the room. Link and Goombella saw they had gone back up, and quickly followed.

"Next time, wait for us!" Link snapped, watching Mario used Koops to hit a switch that drained the water. "And how dare you use my own partner!"

Mario grinned sheepishly as the water drained into the room under.

"It's like the sands in Dry Dry Ruins!" exclaimed Link, suddenly recalling the previous adventure and forgetting his anger. "Yeah…Goombario was buried under the sand…good times, good times…"

Mario: *-.-

He led everyone back to the room where they had left the Punies, then guided them across the new lily pad/black block path across the water. Link reached out and caught another Shine Sprite.

----

Down one last pipe, was the final room before the final room- if that makes sense. It had a pedestal pad that was required for 101 Punies…and One Jabbi. Mario put the orb into its rightful spot, all the Punies instantly gathered.

"Talk about a _Puni_ reunion!" Link chuckled. Mario's eyes lit up.

"Wow Link…that's the first joke out of you in a while!" Koops noticed.

"There just wasn't enough material…even a comedy genuis need inspirtation!"

"Oh brother."

The ground started shaking rapidly, and everyone felt the platform start sinking.

"What's…happening!?!"

The landed on the next floor with a very loud and impacted thump.

"So THAT'S how you get to this room…" Punio finally figured out. Link spotted the Life-up box in the corner.

"Aw man…that means something BIG is coming up!" he sighed.

"Better be prepared…" muttered Koops. Mario advanced out to the right, ready for whatever challenge was up against him.

-----

Lord Crump paced the room frustratedly. This was the very bottom of the tree, and there was no Crystal Star!

"That thing's gotta be around here somewhere…" Suddenly, he heard the rapid stomping of the Puni Tribe. "Whoa! Sounds like a mob! Better clear out…"

He quickly ran off as Mario and co. entered. Goombella gawked once again at all the figures of Punies that lined the room. In the center of a room was the biggest pedestal pad yet. This also requires 101 Punies and 1 Jabbi, so Mario slipped the orb in once more and awaited the results.

"I wonder what's going to-AH! I'm BLIND!"

A flash of light instantly blinded Link, and the trembling ground wasn't doing him much justice. The light continued to flash repeatedly; Link and several other characters shielding their eyes. Out of the tallest statue, one with a figure of a Puni holding a bowl of water, appeared the Emerald Crystal Star. It floated out and landed right in front of them.

"Mario, Link look! Look look look!" Koops stammered. "It's the Crystal Star!"

Just as Mario moved a muscle to go grab it, Lord Crump dashed onto the scene. Link's-and probably all the ones witnessing the spectacle- jaw dropped.

"You can't be serious…"

"**BUH HUH HUH HUH**! Am I just lucky or what? Or am I just gooooood…?" he boasted. "'Oh, you say you need a Crystal Star Lord Crump?' BOOM! Falls right in my lap!"

Link pulled out his sword, meaning business. "Hand it over or else I'll hack! You don't have your stupid army for back-up now!"

Crump slightly frowned at Link, then recalled something a bit more important.

"Still, this is humiliating! You shouldn't have been able to escape that cell…So, for insulting my awesome trap, I'm gonna repay you with a little present."

He pulled out a remote control.

"Oh, just a little something I like to call A REMOTE TIME-BOMB DETONATOR!"

GASP.

Crump ran over to the rightmost part of the room.

"I'm gonna use this to bury you and those squirmy Punies in rubble! Sound fun? Well, enjoy your final minutes in this dank old tree!"

He hit the button on the remote, starting up the 3-minute timer.

"…and with that…POW! I'm gone!"

A pipe fell out of nowhere and Crump slipped up into it.

"What's going on Big Brother?" Petuni asked.

Link scooped her and Punio off while taking off. "I'll tell you-IT'S THE END OF THE TREE! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

Mario snagged the Puni Orb and took off after Link.

"We're going to die!"

* * *

**Duh duh duh...BOSS WEEKEND NEXT WEEK! Whoo! Fit it in before Christmas when everyone's too busy to read! (I know from experience to never post on a holiday). **


	20. Magnus Von Grapple: Crumpled Like Paper

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 19: Magnus Von Grapple: Crumpled Like Paper

Link and Mario appeared up the pipe, Lord Crump just now exiting the small room. Two X-nauts were left to stand in their way.

"MOVE!" Link boomed, bull-dozing both of them over. Mario stomped on them to make sure they stayed down, and then the stampede of Punies helped too.

The next few seconds were a blur of warping through pipes, running over paths, and losing several Punies along the way. When they came to the bubble room, Link and Mario simply danced across, leaving all the Punies behind.

"What about us!?" whined Punier, trying to jump across but epic failed.

"Every man for himself!" Link yelped while running excitedly into the door. Mario sighed and calmly pushed it open. Link stod back up and tried to act as if nothing had happened. "Anyway, let's go crumple somebody!"

The rest of the team nodded, while hising snickers, and rushed into the first area.

----

Back in the entry room, Crump was trying to make a getaway, but everyone forgot about the Elder…

"You won't be getting any farther this-a-way!" she grunted as she stood her ground.

"What?!? Are you nuts? Move it, you old geezer!" snorted Crump.

She grew in fury; he shrunk in fear.

"**WHAT**?!? Did you just call me an "Old geezer?"

"Oh, we're going to blow up if she starts her rant…" groaned Link the moment they entered.

"Where do you get off, talking like that? You got no respect brat! Don't think my old age has a thing to do with my might!"

"Go Elder!" cheered Punio, still in Link's hand.

"Even if it kills me, I won't let you through!"

"That won't be long…"

"Link!"

"What? At this rate, we're going to have one bang of a death!"

"ELDER POWER ACTIVATE!"

_"What the…"_

"Whoa…what's your problem Gramma?" Crump quivered, taking a few steps away from the threat. "You got an ear hair tickling your brain, or what?"

Just as Elder was going to beat him 20 times over, something started twisting up. "Oh! Ooh…What the…OUCH! Can't…take…another…step…"

Urk!

"What a time for my stupid back to start acting up!"

_"Oh for the love of…"_

"You hotheaded old coot! You dare defy me? I could shine my boots with you!" Crump growled.

"Ahem! You'll do no such thing!" Flurrie huffed. "Honestly, did you REALLY think we'd let a wretch like you escape?"

"Especially with the Crystal Star!" Link added angrily.

"I do believe you'll be handing over that Crystal Star, and promptly exiting this tree!"

Crump cackled once again. "You guys are nuts, you know that?"

"You're the only nut I see…"

"Ooh!" "DISS!!" "Burned…"

"Oh well. I'd better shut off this timer."

With a simple click, Crump stopped the timer with 3 seconds left. Relief instantly filled the room. With another click of his remote, a pink sphere dropped down and Crump crawled into it.

"Awaken! Magnus Von Grapple!"

It suddenly had four cardboard extensions that folded into a body, then arms and legs spun out of it, and a white X appeared on the front. Crump's robot strode up to a fighting-stanced Mario and Link, and the battle for the tree began.

"Are you crying yet? Yeah? Sorry, but this thing isn't armed with tissues…"

Koops snapped his fingers. "Looks like they aren't extreme tissues after all…"

"Mercy me! That metal colossus is incredible!" Flurrie gasped, really in need of a fan. "And yet…there's something really odd about it…"

"Like what?"

"Just kept you eyes peeled…"

Link shrugged as he and Koops got ready for their first real battle in a while. Mario started things off with a Spin Jump, draining five, and Flurrie used Body Slam.

"Here is comes suckers! Magnus Von PUNISH!"

He walked over, lifted up his foot and…stepped on Mario.

"You call that a punishment?" Link scoffed while hacking at the machine. Koops them slammed his shell into the foot. He started break dancing, causing him to pull off a stylish move. The crowd, half-Punies and half X-nauts, started cheering as Mario's Star Power began to fill. Crump used his "Punishing" move again and stomped on Link.

"You have a really lame robot, you know that?" Link scoffed.

"You haven't seen anything yet!"

Right before he started ranting, Mario quickly spin jumped again. Flurrie then repeated her body Slam Process. As Mario endured being crushed again, Crump decided to turn it up a notch. His next super awesome attack was…launching his hands off his arm?

"Pish…is that the best you can do?" heckled Link, running in to do a slash. Koops followed up with another shell slam. The robot's hands sudden got a life of their own, and both slammed full speed into Link, knocking the wind out of him.

"Oomph…okay, so you had a trick or two up your sleeve…" he wheezed.

"Are you okay?" Koops asked. Link waved it off.

"I'm fine…I've had worse…"

Crump jumped, then started stomping rapidly, making all four fighters start panicking, getting hit by random sand falling from the ceiling. Koops was knocked onto his shell, feeling the koopa weakness for the first time in battle.

"Now I know how Troopas feel…" he grumbled. Mario proceeded to use his next turn, this time around using his Power Smash. Flurrie once again body slammed boss. The chain of "NICE" combos ended up with Mario getting two flower pictures, and after playing the roulette game, got a BINGO and won some more FP for everybody.

"Whoo hoo Mario!" Link cheered, now using his hack to celebrate. Koops remained helpless on the ground. Magnus Von Grapple sent his hands off once again. Mario knew he was less than 10 HP, and wanted to wrap it up really quick. He summoned to power of the Diamond Star and he and Link jumped on the star to use Earth Tremor. The quake grew stronger with each hit, giving more damage to Magnus. Eventually, they jumped off the star, doing more than enough damage to defeat Crump. They each leveled up, Mario taking HP, and Link following suit.

Crump's suit started staticing, then suddenly lit up. It started exploding in random puff of white smoke, eventually ejecting Crump and the Crystal Star.

"Buh! Buh-ARRRRGGGGHH! No! Magnus von Grapple? How could we lose?" cried Crump. Hurff…hurff…hurff…I'll remember this, losers!"

He ran out of the tree, oblivious to the fact he could've grabbed the Star on his way out.

"Lord Crump summons us!" an X-naut wailed. Mario turned, ready to deal some pain.

"Retreat!" "Run away!" "Heads-up!" "Wait!"

One last final one ran after the pack, but ended up tripping. As Link laughed hysterically at him, he got up and embarrassedly ran off.

"We pulled it off! I can't believe it! Wow!" cheered Koops.

"Good job Kooper- er, Koops…" Link said with a pat on the back.

"Will you ever get my name right?"

"Probably not…I'm just so used to a cool koopa name Kooper!"

"They're gone! This place can go back to being the peaceful place I remember!" Punio sighed in success.

Mario: Mmm-HMM!

"All right, there, Marty-O…you can have the Emerald Star…the Crystal Star that resided in this tree!" Elder exclaimed. Mario and Link nodded, walking over to the star. It swirled around them, and together, they held the second Crystal Star in the air proudly.

* * *

**Hooray! Two Crystal Stars down! Now we get to go through Chapter 3... *sweatdrops* It's very, very, long...which already makes this fic even longer than the first, and I'm still not finished with the entire thing... (don't worry- Chapter 3's not as long as I'm making it seem, but it _is_ the lengthiest chapter for obvious reasons). And yes, we will FINALLY see Samus, Sonic, and Kirby start to return. I think I've held it off long enough ;). Tune in tomorrow for Peach's chapter! **

**P.S. The next two chapters are a bit on the shorter side-- which you all know bugs me very much-- but they _are_ the intermission chapters, so I can't really help that (especially for Bowser D:...)**


	21. Dancing in the Computer Light

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 20: Dancing in the Computer Light

"What?!? Say that again! You can't get in touch with Lord Crump?" guffawed Grodus, outraged.

The PhD-Naut whose real name escapes me nodded his head. "You are correct, sir. We are investigating now…we should hear anytime…"

A normal X-naut trotted in, giving the secret "X" symbol. "Sir Grodus! Please allow me to enter!"

"Yes, what is it?"

The naut stood proudly in front of his master. "I have a report sir! The Crystal Star in the Boggly Woods had apparently been taken by Mario and Link!"

"WHAT?!? You must be joking! What about Lord Crump and the Shadow Sirens?" gaped Grodus. The X-naut fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Uh, I'm sorry sir! Unfortunately, Mario and Link laid a beating on all of them!"

Grodus then drifted into absent though. "Hmmm…disturbing…These characters…what kind of…Speak up X-naut! What is the status of the other Crystal Stars?"

"I apologize sir! We are still searching for the other Crystal Stars! Unsuccessfully sir!"

"We knew of three of them…Hooktail Castle. Boggly Woods. The one we got in Rogueport…That means there are four other Crystal Stars left out there…And we WILL have them! Keep looking, so that Mario won't beat us to the punch!"

"Yes SIR!" The X-naut signaled and trotted out of the room. Once he was gone, Grodus sighed.

"As I suspected, there's no reason to doubt that Mario and Link have the map. He must." He looked up at the remaining X-naut. "YOU! I want you to keep a close watch on what Mario and Link do from now on!"

"Absolutely sir!" the naut replied, now running off too.

"Mario…Link…I loathe you."

-----

"Oh Mario…did you even read the mail I sent you? I wonder…"

"Uh, Peach?"

"I wonder so many things…I wonder how everyone is doing at the castle…"

"Hey Peach…?"

"Will I never dance at the Mushroom Ball again?"

_"Peeeeaaaach_!"

"What will become of me?"

"Peach, you're talking to yourself again, darn it!"

Peach suddenly snapped out of it and stared at a confused Amy and a frustrated Zelda.

"Huff…I hope you're done having a conversation with yourself…" grumbled the latter.

"That's kind of weird…I think you should stop that…" admitted Amy.

"I'm sorry! That's what I do when I'm nervous!" Peach defended. "Come on Zelda! I bet you're wondering how your kingdom is doing…"

Zelda nodded. "Some dark freak could be taking over now…"

Amy shrieked. "Oh man! What about poor Cream? I had promised Vanilla I'd babysit her when we got back from the vacation…but what if we're stuck here for a really long time?"

"I'm sure Mario and Link are on it, Amy…they haven't let us down before…" Peach assured. Zelda twirled a gloved finger in her long blonde hair.

"That brings us to the question of why it's only Mario and Link! What happened to Sonic, Kirby, and Samus? They were definitely with Link when we went to open the box…"

"Eek! What if Sonic got kidnapped by a giant plant on a volcano island again?!" Amy huffed, suddenly hypervenalating. Peach walked over and patted her back.

"Poor thing…that really left you emotionally scarred…"

"Of course it would! The same thing would happen to us if it were Mario or Link…"

Zelda suddenly got quiet and sat on the bed.

"What's the matter Zel?"

"It's just…I told Link of this dream I had on the way to Rogueport, and I thought it was of a beautiful place we were going to see…"

Amy nodded. "Go on…"

"…and now that we're being held hostage, I don't think I'll ever see it…"

Peach quickly trotted over and hugged Zelda. "Oh Zelda…as soon as we get out of here, I bet that'll be the first place you and Link go to see!"

Zelda smiled, and the doors suddenly whooshed open.

"Oh! Is this TEC's doing again?" Peach pondered.

"Most likely…" Zelda agreed.

"YES! I **NEED** to get out of this room! It's so stale in here…" Amy muttered, running out.

"Man, hedgehogs are fast…"

They met back up with Amy in TEC's room, where Peach gained control of the situation before Zelda could crack a joke.

"Hello Princess Peach, Princess Zelda, and Amy Rose. I am glad you came…" TEC stated.

"That mail I sent to Mario…did it reach him all right?" asked Peach.

"Yes. I can confirm that Mario received the e-mail."

"Is that so? Well good." Peach smiled. Then it quickly turned serious. "So what do you want from me today? Is there more you want to know about love?"

"You express regret earlier that you would not be able to dance at a ball, correct? And Zelda, you were saying that you wouldn't be able to see a place in your dreams, which I've have interpreted as Boggly Woods?"

"And_ I_ want to see Sonic!"

"Ex-CUSE me!! You were eavesdropping?!" Peach gasped.

"I am sorry Princess Peach. I have been ordered to keep surveillance on you. But…it is odd…when you said that, I had an impulse to dance with you as well. How my CPU would produce this impulse is unknown. I must find the cause of it."

Peach glanced at Zelda to see if she was going to say something about TEC spying, but she remained silent for once. "Find out what caused it? There's no reason behind such a feeling TEC. Wanting to do something together…it's a part of love…_I know it…_"

She could've sworn Zelda had winced behind her.

"Ooh! Tell me about it! I always want to do something with Sonic, but he's such a jerk and runs away from me!" Amy sighed.

"But why do you continue to chase him if he does not return your affection?" TEC wondered.

Amy shrugged. "I just don't have the heart to give up. Because if I did, then he might turn around and…I guess I wouldn't want to reject him after all that time!"

TEC would've nodded.

"But then again…" Peach picked up where she left off. "You are…well…a computer."

"Princess Peach…please dance with me." TEC suddenly asked.

"Wait…wait just one minute! What…am I supposed to do? You say you want to dance? It's just so…bizarre…"

Zelda finally started up. "Yeah! You two would be a hit at a Screening party! Or maybe try to hotwire a celebration!"

Peach sighed, "You're not helping…besides, those were horrible!"

Zelda shrugged. Peach smacked her head and turned back to TEC. "I mean, how in the world I can dance with you? You have no arms. Or feet. Or moves."

Zelda hooted at the last one.

TEC thought it over. "Would this be an acceptable dance substitute?"

Instantly, a virtual copy of Peach appeared before said Princess.

"Oh my goodness! Is that me?" Peach gasped.

"Sweet!" Amy exclaimed.

"Now THAT'S TEC-nology!" Zelda chuckled. Amy rolled her eyes.

"You've been hanging out with Link too much…"

"…Oh all right, I guess…" Peach held the copy in a dancing position. "I must say, though, it's going to feel weird, dancing with myself…"

The lights dimmed, and music started playing. Peach and TEC started waltzing across the room, spinning and pirouetting. Peach actually giggled, and Zelda could sense that TEC was enjoying it too. Amy couldn't stand it any longer and grabbed Zelda, swinging her around.

"What are you doing Amy?" Zelda muttered through her teeth.

"I wanna dance too! Why should Peach be the only one?" Amy giggled.

"Oh all right…just don't crush my feet with those boots of yours…"

"I'll try…just copy them and we'll be fine!"

The two tried to keep their feet off each other while staring at Peach and TEC. When Peach would turn, Zelda would turn. When TEC turned, Amy would spin around. When they slightly crouched, Zelda and Amy did the same. They fumbled a few times, but they eventually were able to get it on their own. Just as everyone started getting the hang of it, the music stopped, the lights were undimmed, and the Peach copy disappeared.

"Thank you Princess Peach. That was very fun." TEC stated. "Just a moment…fun? Is this impulse I feel the concept known as fun?"

"TEC? Are you okay?"

"Zelda…I can show you the scene in your dream…"

Zelda perked up. "You can?!"

"Of course! I have access to a satellite that gives me instant picture…"

"I would love to see it…but I want to see it with Link first if that's all right." Zelda told him with a smile.

"I understand…I believe."

"Can you find Sonic?!" Amy slurred.

"I am sorry. I have no info on where he is at."

"MAN!"

"Princess Peach…please use my communicator. Use the keyboard to send whatever message you want."

Peach did so, and it was sent instantly.

"The message has been sent. Please go back to your room. I want to analyze the data from this dance immediately. The data that I thought was fun…"

"You're a weeeeeird computer…" chuckled Peach. She left, surprised Zelda had already mysteriously returned, and Amy trotted behind her.

"Good night…Princess Peach…"


	22. Posting a King

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 21: Posting a King

Bowser jumped off the ledge just past the pipe that lead to Petal Meadows. Eggman and Gannondorf were right behind him.

"I'm pretty sure it's just up ahead here…" Bowser trailed.

"Pretty sure? Shouldn't you be absolutely sure?" Eggman questioned.

"Right as usual Lord Bowser!" Kammy cheered. "We just got word that Princess Peach was spotted in the town up ahead."

Bowser gave a smug look to Eggman who just shrugged.

"These fools don't know what's coming!" Bowser cackled.

"Something painful I hope…" Gannondorf hoped, crackling his knuckles.

They headed off, only to get a bit of a surprise.

"This is…different…"

"What? Psh…**no**! Mario does this all the time!" Bowser scoffed, just eating a large ham and burning down a goomba. "'Sides, it's only a path…"

Eggman hopped into a mobile and started laughed. "Yes! And I shall take over this path! Ha ha ha ho!"

"Newsflash, Egghead…" sneered Gannondorf. "If you take over the path, we won't be getting the Crystal Stars!"

"My name is Robotnik! Say it and remember it in fear!" Eggman grunted. "…But the rest of your statement is true…I'll just blow things up to satisfy my craving!"

Eggman pulled up two caps on his steering wheel, revealing two buttons meant to launch lasers.

"Prepare for annihilation!"

He started hitting Goombas, brick blocks, and X-nauts, Bowser was growing bigger by the second and blasting things with flame, and Ganondorf jumped on the back of Eggman's flying car thing just so he wouldn't feel left out.

"Take that, unworthy mushroom!" Ganondorf chortled as he hit a goomba in a blue cap.

"Aw man! Not more pain!" whined Goombario. "I'm on vacation!"

"Muwahahaha! A victim!" Eggman sounded pleased. "I never get to do this when Sonic's around…"

"Attack!" shouted Ganondorf. "I bet Link would hate seeing me do this!"

"Link?!?" gawked Goombario. "NOOOO! More other world freaks trying to kill me!"

Goombario started screaming and running while dodging lasers and balls of dark purple flames. As he leapt over a pipe, Ganondorf hit him, and he ended up tripping.

"Must…keep…going…"

Eggman blasted a hole in his hat.

"No! My Mario hat!"

"Be glad it wasn't you!"

"But that can be arranged…"

"DAHHH!!!"

Goombario hopped up brick steps, only for him to fall when Eggman just drove through it. He flew into the air, smacked into the flagpole, and slid down.

"Muwahahahahah! What a pathetic loser…" Gannondorf howled.

"It feels good to actually beat somebody!" Eggman admitted.

"What are you two slow-pokes doing?" Bowser complained. "We gotta get Peach before she runs off with Mario or someone!"

He glanced up and saw Goombario still sliding down the pole. He grabbed him, tossed him into the background, and carried on.

"I hate goombas…they think they're so tough…" he muttered. Eggman and Ganondorf shrugged as they followed Bowser into town.

-----

Once the four entered, the welcome koopa instantly turned around with a smile.

"Oh, hey, welcome to Petalburg and…" he took a second look and started to tremble. "EEEEKKKK! Hide, everybody! HIDE! Bowser and two old men are here to destroy us!!!"

He sprinted away, Ganondorf ready to jump out to choke the turtle, but Bowser just shrugged it off. "What a wuss. Yes, hide, chickens! I have no need for you…"

"I do…" murmured the Tri-force of Power carrier.

"Ugh, this town is so bright and cheery…I wish I had my robots to burn it down…" Eggman urked.

"We have no time to sightsee, gentlemen!" Bowser scolded. "We need Princess Peach. Where is she?"

Kammy suddenly floated forward, with her eye on something. "Lord Bowser! Over there!!!"

Everyone looked past the bridge at the farthest house. There, in the window, was Princess Peach.

"Bingo! Princess Peach! Man that was easy…I have found you, my princess! I, Bowser, the mighty koopa king, offer my greeting!"

No response.

"This guy is blind."

"If she was kidnapped, why would she be in a window?"

"…Exactly…"

Bowser simply continued his conversation. "Now, now! None of that silent treatment! You're coming back to the castle with me!"

Still nothing.

"Clearly she's been so overcome with joy she's speechless!" Kammy confirmed. "The mind of a maiden is rather…complicated…"

"I see! I see! How refined! How elegant! Awesome!"

"Does he even know what those words mean?"

"Highly unlikely."

"I suppose I could live with a silent princess! It might have its perks, ya know?"

"NOOOOOOO!"

Everyone stopped talking to gape at the brave shivering koopa standing up to Bowser.

"What do you want?" sneered Eggman.

"My… my life's treasure! I'd rather die than give up my life-sized Peach poster!" he cried.

"That can be rearranged…"

"Sounds familiar…"

The koopa jumped up to the window, peeled down the poster, leaving Bowser in a guffawed state with Eggman and Ganondorf howling in laughter.

"I'm so glad this thing had a camera!" Eggman hooted, watching everything replay on a small screen.

Ganondorf stopped laughing as something buzzed in his ear. "Yes…I see…interesting…"

He shut it off, whispered something to Eggman, and he nodded. They glanced at Bowser, wondering if they could handle being with him any longer.

"P-POSTER?!?" Bowser gagged.

"Oh my goodness me…didn't see that coming…" Kammy gaped.

Bowser suddenly sagged. "Great. Just great. Now I look like the great mighty king of GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS!"

Eggman and Ganondorf started snickering. They guessed they could hang with him a little while longer…

* * *

**And it comes to an end...man, I so could've done better with these but...it was a troubling time. :( Anyway, next Friday is CHRISTMAS! Hooray! Yes, I'll still update (maybe with an extra chapter or two ;D) and PLX shall be updated too. Trust me, way better than this weekend-and we start the epic Chapter 3!! YAY!**


	23. You Never Saw It Coming

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 22: You Never Saw It Coming

Outside the Great Tree, the 102 Punies (counting Elder) were saying good-bye to Mario. Punio, Petuni, Puniper, Elder, and Jabble were up front, saying personal good-byes.

"Uh…thank you Mario, for everything you've done." Punio stated. "We can go back to our peaceful way of life now."

"You know son, now that we get right down to it, I'm kinda of sad to see you go. I do love pontificating, so come on by whenever you want to sit and chat awhile…" the Elder explained.

"Yes, please come back and visit! We'll watch for you!" pleaded Petuni. Mario nodded to promise he would.

"We'll work together from now on to prevent anything like that from happening ever again. Thanks for showing us how to stick together Mario. Good luck with the Crystal Stars."

"You should thank Link for that…" Koops commented. He turned to ask why Link hadn't said anything, only to realize he was gone.

"Where'd Gnome go?" Goombella wondered.

"See you, Mr. Mario! Tell Link I said thanks!" Punio called as they turned to go find Link.

"Good-bye Punio! I'll be back!" Flurrie promised. "Take care Petuni! Jabble, keep being the precious little thing you are! And Puniper…"

Puniper stood up like he was going to get a long compliment.

"…quit being a hotheaded jerk."

As Puniper fell on his face from the sudden insult, Punio started cracking up, until Elder told him that was rude. Team Mario waved good-bye one last time and headed off. As soon as they exited the tree, Mario's SP started going off.

"Incoming mail!" called Koops.

"Now _that's_ a mail call!" Goombella laughed. Everyone stared wide-eyed at her. "…well Link's not here to say it!"

Mario popped it open, revealing a letter from Peach.

_Dear Mario,_

_I'm sure you're very concerned about us…But please know we're fine! I'm actually more worried about you! The fiends who kidnapped me are searching desperately for the Crystal Stars. I'll try to learn what I can about them. I'll e-mail again if I learn anything, OK? You must know I miss you. Lately I've dreamt about our days back at the castle. I hope we'll spend carefree days there again soon-_

_Princess Peach_

"Weird…nothing from Zelda…" pondered Goombella.

"Pretty nice huh Mario?" Koops asked, trying to lift up the atmosphere. Mario nodded, and the search for Link continued.

----

Back at the entrance/exit, Link was leaning against a tree, twirling a white flower along his fingers deep in thought. He heard Koops, Goombella, and Flurrie calling his name while Mario waved around a mushroom, hoping it would lure him back.

"Link dear!" "Oversized gnome!" "Where are ya buddy?"

"I'm here…" Link muttered. Koops heard him and ran over.

"I found him guys!"

Koops jumped in front of him and instantly started babbling. "Where were you Link? The Punies wanted to thank us for saving their tree and showing them they could work together and you were gone! Punio wanted to say good-bye…"

Link slightly smiled. "At least Punio's friends can get along…"

Goombella sighed. "Are you _still_ mad about your friends?"

Link snapped the flower. "_Yes_ I _am_! I can't stop thinking about it! It's killing me! What if…they're not friends anymore? And then we round them all up and they start fighting and-"

"Link, we haven't even heard what happened to them. The likeliness we end up somewhere where they are isn't very high…"

"There's still a chance. Then Mario will end up getting the short end of the stick just like last time…"

Mario shook his head and said that they were his friends too, and they had no reason to be mad at him.

"…you're saying you'll fix this?"

Mario nodded. Link grinned and stood up.

"I believe you Mario…c'mon! Even if it _is_ just us for awhile, we still need to get the Crystal Stars and save Z.A.P.! Wow, Z.A.P. is **SO** much easier to say than Zelda, Amy, and Peach…"

Mario: Wha-hoo!

They all headed down the Boggly Pipe, eager to see the Thousand Year Door…

**Thousand Year Door-**

"Hold up that Crystal Star!"

"Now, my little Mario! It's Crystal Star time!"

"Yeah!"

Mario and Link stood on the pedestal, Emerald Star held high. The stone started glowing in light blue patterns again, just as it had before. The Magical Map suddenly rose out of Mario's pocket and hovered into the air.

"That never gets old…" Link sighed. Mario rolled his eyes as the next location was recorded onto the map. A place floating in the sky, with what seemed like an arena, symbolized with a large Chomp head. A gold star appeared on said location, and Mario nodded.

"Okay? Where it that?"

"I haven't the slightest clue…"

"Is that in the SKY?!"

"We should ask Frankly about this…"

"Oh yeah!"

**Frankly's House-**

"…that means that beneath this town, the thousand-year old ruins remain intact." Frankly explained. He shut a book as Mario's group listened. "…and that door's been sealed shut for a thousand years by the Crystal Stars…in order to open that seal, we must muster the power of the Crystal Stars."

"Why would they want to seal the treasure away at all?" asked Link. "It's treasure!"

"Maybe to hide from thieves?"

"If not, then why?"

"No, that's not…"

"That's not what?"

"I don't KNOW!"

"WAH!"

"Oomph!"

"….and I thought _I_ was a wind spirit…"

Everyone winced on the ground as Frankly quickly panicked.

"Sorry! So sorry! I know that the treasure was sealed away around the time the town was destroyed…But the problem is, no one seems to know what it was that caused the town's demise! All that's written is this: darkness stole the sky and the cataclysm rained down. I must research this more. Assuming will just make an…well, you know the saying."

"No I don't!"

Everyone stared wide-eyed at Link.

"I'm left out of the loop okay? Can someone tell me?"

"No."

"…"

"How inappropriate."

"In any case, what about the location of the Crystal Star floating on your map?" Frankly asked to get back on track.

"We don't know where it is…"

"It looks like the floating town of Glitzville…there's a stunning arena there where great warriors engage in furious battles. Families go there on vacations to lounge there and enjoy the fights but…behind the scenes, the richest people in the world wager on bouts.

"That so totally sounds like Samus' kind of place…" grunted Link.

"So this city is in the sky? What are supposed to do? Sprout wings and fly there?"

"A special blimp flies there…It departs from Rogueport several times a day. The problem is getting a seat. The only way to get a ticket is through certain…"channels"…"

"Channels? You're kidding…"

Mario: What.

"Oooh! A little…seedy side! Show me the way!" pleaded Flurrie.

Frankly explained. "Head west from Rogueport's main plaza and you'll be on the west side of town!"

"Where the blimp is!"

"I sure hope that contact came in…" Link shivered.

"That part of town is under control of Don Piñata, the Pianta syndicate head. Apparently, Don Pianta makes pretty regular jaunts to Glitzville. It may seem a little easy, but he's a syndicate boss folks. The rumors about him are scary. And Don Pianta is a recluse. Just getting an audience with him will be difficult."

"Gah, enough of how hard it is! How do we get to see him!" Link demanded.

Frankly shrugged. Link smacked his head as he left to go next door. In the Sprite Shop, Merlon leveled up Flurrie and Goombella with all 6 of their Shine Sprites (the other two being in the Thousand Year Room, and one somewhere that I can't remember…), leaving them with none.

"All right, with that out of the way, how can we see Don Pianta?" Koops wondered. Mario suddenly appeared, stating that he had talked to the Robbo Gang, paid 64 coins, was told how to see Don, and also bought and gave Zess T. her new contact lens. Link's jaw was hurting from being dropped so fast.

"How did you manage to do all that while I simply leveled up Flurrie and Goombella?" guffawed Link.

Mario: I have ways…

"Okay…I won't question it! You roll like that anyway…" Link started running toward the west after he recalled something. "I heard they have Super Shrooms on the West Side! HURRY!"

"Good heavens! Slow down! This body hasn't felt such drama in a long time!" shouted Flurrie.

"Link! How could leave without me!" Koops whined.

"Wait, there's Luigi again with…a deep-fried blooper?" Goombella questioned. Said blooper had a cow.

Mario was the last to arrive, and quickly waved to Luigi. Link and everyone else joined him.

"So Luigi, enjoying you big bad adventure?" Link teased.

Luigi folded his arms and smirked. "Yes I am! And you'd be surprised to see who I'm traveling with!"

"Fried sea-food?" guess Koops.

"NO!" shrieked the blooper.

"Luigi! I'm back!" called Malon. Link instantly heard her voice and raised an eyebrow at Luigi. Luigi gave an "I-told-you-so".

"Malon?" Link wondered, as if he didn't believe his eyes. Malon waved back.

"Hi Link! I'm on an adventure of my own! I teleported here all by myself, and you weren't there to stop me!" Malon smirked. "Not to mention I saved the day a few times…"

Link had no words. He finally thought of something after several minutes of silence. "Why…with _Luigi_?! You're going to die! Your father will have my head if he learned you followed me in a teleporting adventure!"

"You're not the boss of me! You wouldn't take me with you on your little vacation, so I'm going on one of my own! I bet you're just jealous! Speaking of, where are all your friends at?"

Link felt the hole in his heart tear. Koops, Goombella, and Flurrie all gave terrified looks and pulled their fingers across their necks. Mario took five steps backward. Malon regretted every word. Link took a deep breath and asked Luigi to tell them what happened.

"Like I said, it's a long story, but…

**An HOUR later…**

Link's jaw was practically broken from the constant dropping, and everyone else was sleeping.

"Malon…you're going home! Even if I have to take you!" he instantly said.

"NO! Even if you do, I'll just teleport back!"

"Not unless I tell your dad!"

Blooey quickly interfered. "Hey there…I'm Blooey!"

Link gawked at the tan blooper. "So?"

Malon jumped in front of him. "Leave him alone! This is my Soul Partner! You know all about that, I'm sure…"

Link's eye twitched.

"Exactly. So you can't take her away from me!" he motioned toward Luigi. "This guy is a total liar! Don't listen to him! You heard his story right?"

"Yeah! Malon was hurt, abandoned, nearly drowned…"

"I told you, he was LYING!…but anyway, Luigi DID try to throw me, but he completely tripped! And what happens? I end up landing in lava! LAVA, man! Do you think that feels good!? Thanks to him, you can stick a fork in me! I'm well-done! I'll never forgive this guy! If it wasn't for Malon saving the day with her arrows, Luigi would be dead by now! I'm gonna make him pay even if it takes my entire lifetime! YOU'LL PAY, LUIGI!"

"Besides his revenge, the other reason he's staying is because he wants to protect me, and keep me safe. If he can survive lava, them I'm sure I'll be able to make it out safely too, huh?" Malon finished. Link thought it over deeply.

"…all right…but if something happens to you, someone'll get it!" Link confirmed, sending Luigi a warning look. Luigi waved his hand to tell him it would be fine.

"By the way…have you guys just so happened to see a large blooper swimming in…a sewer?" asked Blooey.

Mario nodded.

"Yeah! It sounds like the one we sent into the ceiling before we left for Pedal Meadows!" Goombella stated. Blooey's face curled into a snarl.

"YOU HURT MY UNCLE!"

"Whoa! There goes your adventure down the drain…into the sewer!" Luigi joked. Not even Link laughed.

"Now I have _two_ targets on my list!"

Blooey jumped up at Mario's group, but Malon quickly pulled him out of the air. "_Really_ great to see you Link, and Mario, but we have to go Plumpbelly Village now so…see ya next time!"

Malon struggled to keep Blooey in her grasp, while Luigi just shook his head while following behind.

"What have I let Malon into?" Link sighed.

"Aw, she'll be fine!" Koops assured.

"Yeah…let's hurry to Glitzville before something goes wrong there too!" Goombella decided. Link nodded, and Mario led everyone into the west side of town…after all, Don Pianta couldn't be **that** bad…

* * *

**Hooray for Christmas Eve chapter! Who would've though Malon would've ended up with Luigi... and yes, I purposely put this chapter up before we reached it in Luigi's story. Kinda complicated, so I'm not going to try to explain... TWO updates tomorrow! YAY! Merry Christmas Eve!**

**Next time: Mario and Link meet up with The Don in an attempt to get Blimp tickets! But then there's the fact about his missing daughter...**

**Then, they head off to Glitzville where they become fighters to get the Star- and to help out one of their friends! **


	24. Live at a Soap Opera

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 23: Live at a Soap Opera

As Link almost spent what was left of their money on Super Shrooms, Mario kept 20 coins to use for the secret way to see Don Pianta. The Robbos had told him to buy a Dried Shroom, then a Dizzy Dial in that order, which he proceeded to do.

"HOW DARE YOU SELL ROTTEN MUSHROOMS!!" roared Link, throwing the rest of the stock out the window.

Now the shop boo was supposed to ask him what his favorite color was, and he was supposed to answer yellow.

"Yeah, yeah…here we go…all righty Mister! What color is your mustache?"

Mario: Say what?

"What kind of a question is that?" Link muttered, mouth full of Super Shroom.

"Oops! What's wrong with me? That wasn't the right question at all!" the boo giggled. "Uh…let's try this again. Ahem! OK, Mister…what's your favorite color?"

Mario: Yellow.

"Uh-huh. Well, you check out. You know the password! So, um, you must be an acquaintance of Don Pianta. Good for you!"

She floated over to the back door and unlocked it. As she went back to her original spot, Mario and Link snuck through the door.

"…and Frankly said this would be difficult! Ha!" Link scoffed.

When they entered, they didn't even have to speak to get on his bad side. Don Pianta stood proudly at his desk, though pretty angrily.

"What's wid you, wise guy? I ain't to jolly today, so if you got a beef, spit it out quick or dis is gonna hurt."

"Wow. He wastes no time…" murmured Link.

Mario simply explained he needed a ticket for the blimp.

"Ex-CUSE me? You want a…you want me to give you a ticket for the blimp?"

Mario: Oh yeah!

"See? Now, to me, that's funny. You a stand-up comedian? No?"

"Well, I don't mean to brag, but I HAVE been known for my jokes and puns…" Link bragged.

"Ha! If you mean that in a bad way, then by all means is that statement true!" Goombella snorted. Link scowled.

"You got some nerve askin' me for dat. I'm Don Pianta! I make cryin' babies weep!" Don continued to exclaim.

"Must be because you walk by them…" Link grumbled under his breath.

"Idiot! Do you want us to _die_?!" both Koops and Goombella hissed.

"It be best if you'd shut your mouth darling…" Flurrie warned.

"See? Everyone up against poor Link again! Mario, back me up, please?"

Mario: -.-

"Fine then! Sheesh…"

One yellow Pianta suddenly stepped up, ready to do some damage.

"You want I should run these bums on a rail, Boss? Look it 'em! What rubes!"

The other one started talking, not wanting to be outdone.

"You must like pain, funny guy? You just lookin' for trouble, or what?"

The gang prepared for a beating, until Don's voice, one octave lower, interfered. "Not so fast boys…"

Everyone in the room stared at the boss.

"I like these kids' gumption. They just came to talk, no? Dat ain't a crime. So we talk. You boys wait 'til we're done before you rough them up, you got it?"

Mario and Link exchanged glances as the two nodded and grumbled.

"So, I gotta assume you got a reason for wanting a ticket for da blimp. Out wid it."

"We're collecting Crystal Stars before these alien X-naut dudes that kidnapped Peach, Zelda, and Amy Rose for reasons unknown and we need get to Glitzville to obtain the third Star…" Link blurted out just as Mario raised a finger to tell his side.

"You wanna help some broads who got themselves kidnapped? An' to rescue these dames, you're out collecting the Crystal Stars?"

Mario: Uh Huh!"

"Da…Crystal Stars?" the first Pianta guffawed. "Hey boss! Ain't those things in that legend 'bout an ancient treasure?"

"Vinny, you're such a dope! Hey Boss! This knucklehead believes in fairytales!"

"Bite you tongue! Don't listen that lout! That treasure is as real as me!" Flurrie snapped.

"Yeah! It exists!"

"I even had my own Crystal Star…"

Right before a massive argument exploded, Don growled. "Everybody just…shut it. I don't care if the treasure is real or not. Get me?"

Everyone nodded.

"But I'll tell ya, I can't help but like guys who want to rescue some skirts they fell for."

Link and Mario lightly blushed.

"I made my decision! You do me a little…favor…an' you get your blimp ticket. Sounds fair, right?"

"I'm not entirely sure I like the sound of this…" Flurrie trailed.

"What's the favor?" asked Link, eyebrow arched.

"It's easy. It's nothin'. It's less dan nothin'. See, the thing is, my daughter eloped wit one of my young…associates. Dey vanished…but it wasn't too long ago before they did. Dey oughta still be nearby. You gotta find my daughter, Francesca, and dis…Frankie, and bring dem both here."

"It sounds easy…" Koops shrugged.

"What if they won't come?" Goombella wondered.

"If you are unable to bring dem here, then alls ya gotta do is tell me where dey are. Then I shall settle dis matter quickly, an' wit what is known as extreme prejudice."

Mario: '-'*

"Boss!" Vinny cried. "We don't know nothin' about these guys. You can't rely on some goofballs for dis job!"

"Who are you calling a goofball?" challenged Link, Mario with a blunt face holding him back. The Pianta that wasn't Vinny whose name escapes me took his turn to talk.

"Yeah, Boss! Vinny's right! Leave it to us to find Francesca!"

"QUIET YOU!!"

Link stumbled into Mario, Mario caught him, and Koops ended up getting elbowed in the head.

"It's because you lugs can't find her and that my assistant isn't here that I gotta swallow my pride and ask dis guy!!!"

"Assistant? I feel sorry for whoever THAT is…" chuckled Goombella.

"My thoughts exactly."

"Ditto."

"Yep."

"I hope you dopes ain't making complaints about my decision! You makin' complaints?"

"No, Boss. Whatever you say goes Boss…"

"I dunno what I was thinking boss. It won't happen again."

Don gave a firm nod. "Good. I'm glad we're all full of understanding for one another."

Link grabbed Mario and started out the door. "And before you say another word that stalls us any longer, we'll be going…"

"if you don't find her, your luck will turn terrible…"

-----

"All right! If I just got eloped and wanted to run away, where would I go…" pondered Link.

"The only way off Rogueport is either by the train, the blimp, or a ship…" Goombella rattled off.

"Well, the train and the blimp don't take anyone very far, so let's head to the docks!" concluded Koops.

Mario: Okay!

They headed to the docks, surprised to see Luigi, Malon, and Blooey already gone, and went down the stairs.

"I see them!"

"Me too!"

Two Piantas were standing at the boat launch, waiting for one to finally take off. Everyone knew it was them, and ran over. Link tapped on Francesca's shoulder, only to make her turn around in anger.

"Hey, back off you creep! You want something, or you just like sliding up to people?" she snapped.

"Wow, she's definitely in for the family business" Link snickered as Mario took over and explained.

"WHHHHAAAAATTTT?! Daddy asked you to find us? And take us to him?!" She looked worried while glancing to her fiancée. "Frankie, what should we do? If Daddy finds us now…oh, I don't know…and the boat's coming any minute…"

"Doll face…maybe we oughta head back and talk to the boss again…"

**A few rantish minutes later that I couldn't STAND to type…**

Link was lightly snoring as Francesca finished up. Mario allowed him to use his shoulder, but man, he had a heavy head!

"…until I marry you, no one will extinguish these flames of passion. NO ONE!!!" Francesca finally turned to Mario. "Don't you see, Mister? I beg you: pretend you never saw us! Can you do that?"

Mario: But-

"Oh thank you!"

Mario made an unsure face as he headed back to West Rogueport.

"We gotta tell the Don SOMETHING, Mario…" Koops stated.

"I say we tell him. I don't want luck to turn terrible!" Link cried.

"But they're so in love…do we want to ruin it?" sighed Flurrie.

Mario just looked forward.

**Back at the Don's-**

"Oh. Look who's come back. Da proverbial mustache and the hilarious pixie boy! Gonna brighten my mood?"

"Pixie boy is a new one…" muttered Link.

Mario shifted uncomfortably, finally letting out where they were.

"Oh, is dat a true fact? Rogueport Harbor, eh? Well done. I appreciate this favor you done for me. I'll prepare your blimp tickets."

"Score!" Link cheered, knuckle-touching Koops and Mario. Goombella and Flurrie exchanged high-fives.

"Hey! Hey! You two nimrods! Da kids are at da harbor! NOW GO GET 'EM!" Don nearly shouted.

"Daddy, WAIT!" wailed a female voice. Everyone turned to the door and found Francesca and Frankie standing in all their glory.

"Francesca!" gasped Don. "Frankie! So, back you come, head hung low wit' your tail between your legs!"

Then both Franny and Frankie started yelling at Don over who to blame. This continued until Mario's gang covered their ears, Vinny and what-his-name prepared to lay a beating, and Don just couldn't take anymore.

"Daddy!"

"Boss!"

"Make it stop, please!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAARRGH! Enough! Quiet! Both of you!"

"My words exactly…"

"Francesca! My headstrong daughter…you used up your last favor long ago! An' you Frankie…you were like a son to me! Dis is how you repay your debt to Don Pianta!? I feel such disappointment in you two it's like a Poison Shroom in my gut."

"Whoa, POISON Shrooms?! I'd rather eat a Dried Shroom than that…"

"Now's really not the time for that…"

Don turned around as Franny and Frankie cried out. "I don't ever wanna see your mugs again! You hear me? Get outta my sight, both of you! I don't care where, just go!!"

The room got still.

"…that's what you expected me to say huh? Well that's what I'm saying! Go! Do what you want! Even if it means getting married!"

Mario noticed his voice slightly crack.

"Oh, Daddy!!!!!!"

"Dad! No, wait…BOSS!!!!"

"Thank you so much Daddy! Thanks for your blessing!"

"Boss! I'll make your daughter a happy woman! She'll want for nothin'!"

"Enough already! Just go…GO! Sniff…"

Flurried blew into a tissue. "It's so wonderful! How romantic!"

"I'm getting a fuzzy feeling running up my spine!" shrieked Goombella.

"Me too!"

"What spine?"

"Francesca! Seein' you dis happy…makes me happy too. Congrats, both of youse!" Vinny hurrahed.

"Frankie! Dis is great. It ain't quite what I promised, but hey! Things turned out okay, am I right?"

Francesca looked at her father one last time. "Good-bye Daddy! Farewell! And thank you!"

She and Frankie quickly bolted for the door. Link coughed.

"Well, Piantas sure like to make scenes…"

Mario tapped Don to remind him about the tickets.

"You still here?"

"We gotta go to Gitzville!"

"Hmph! Well, you found my daughter an' got her to come back here…an' just look at what happened? What an utter soap opera. But hey, a deal's a deal. Here's your tickets."

He handed Mario and Link two blue tickets to Glitzville.

"Who knew? That guy's got her smiling' from ear to ear. …dat's good."

After a quick shout of telling them to never return again, Mario and Link finally were able to make it out in one piece.

"Let's head to the blimp! I can't wait any longer!" Goombella cheered.

"Yeah! We'll be flying high then!"

"…glad to see you're back to joking."

"Are you kidding? We're going to a fighting area! I need to get some witty banter!"

"You better not do that the whole time we're there!"

"Try and stop me sister!"

Goombella chased Link all the way to the Ticket Cheep, where he and Mario gladly show him their tickets. Jumping down the pipe that led to the blimp, the gang climbed in, and headed off to Glitzville.


	25. Follow Me To Glory

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 24: Follow Me to Glory

"Wow…you can see everything up here!"

"We _ARE_ flying high!"

"You already USED that one…"

The gang kept their faces pressed against the window, staring at all there was to see. Eventually Koops pointed out a few balloons floating past them, and everyone ran up to the front.

"Ai! There it is!"

"It's beautiful!"

"IT'S AWESOME!"

"It's so bright…"

They looked on as the blimp flew to their destination. It flew over the city and let the passengers down into Glitzville. The five all walked a few paces forward, taking in the sights.

"Ummmm…yeah, this would be Glitzville all right. How do they make it float?" Koops stated.

"How do people not fall off?" inquired Link.

"I mean, it hasn't, you know, plunged from the sky or anything, has it?"

"…"

"Now you've got me scared."

"Yeah, thanks Kooper!"

"I'm KOOPS!"

"Time to hunt down that Crystal Star! I know I'm ready!"

"Let's do this!"

"My guess would be that it's in the arena, so let's head in."

Mario nodded and climbed up the steps. Link desperately tried to get a Shine Sprite, but it was floating just out of his reach. Eventually he hit the ground in frustration, made a block appear, snagged the Sprite, and followed Mario in.

----

"Wow this is so cool!" shrieked Koops.

"Hey!" Goombella pointed out. "This poster is talking about some crazy new fighter who's going to battle for the Major League!"

"Sweet! I gotta see it…" Link chattered anxiously.

Mario: Crystal Star?

"Aw Mario…there's always a catch to these things! It's not going to be easy, so we might as well make the most of it!"

Mario couldn't argue with that. Link nodded, until they saw Ms. Mowz right next to them. Goombella and Flurrie groaned as Link and Koops' hearts raced. Mario walked over and said hi.

"Well, hello Mr. Mustache and Mr. Pointy Ears! We meet again!" she squeaked.

"She acknowledged me!" Link cheered.

"Lucky you…"

"I don't have much time to talk right now. But…if you care to watch a match, I'd head to the balcony. Great seats!"

"A girl that likes wrestling…sweet…" Link and Koops sighed at the same time. So they headed up a flight of stairs and entered the arena from there to get good seats. The current battle was Champion Rawk Hawk vs. Number 1 Koopinator.

"We came at the right time! The highlight of the day!" Link yelled over the cheers.

The Koopinator was on the ropes, and Rawk Hawk knew it.

"That's right! Unh! I think it's about time for you to FEEL THE RAWK!" he roared.

He jumped and kicked the Koopinator down, leaving the armored turtle with an "Ow…"

"Stay down pincushion! You don't want more of this! Why'd you even show up? Yeah, you heard me talking wimpy! Stay outta the ring or feel the burn, baby! I'll give you another world-class spanking and send you crying to your momma!"

"What a jerk…"

"Tell me about it."

The ringmaster stomped up to Rawk Hawk, not unsurprised by his victory. "Hooooo-WEEEEEE! Champ! That was a grade-A whoopin'! Yer thoughts on the match?"

"You call that a match? Ain't there a fighter out there who can challenge me? No! No one can! Hear me? Ain't a fighter out there that can even make me sweat! They're all a bunch of little cry babies running around in stink diapers! You got a bone to pick? Come fight me! Bring it! I'll take on anyone!"

"Headstrong?"

"Headstrong."

"You weaklings might as well stick to video game fighting. Cause I'll hurt you. YEAH! NUMBER ONE BABY! RAWK HAWK IS THE CHAMP!"

He flashed out his champion belt, which sent the crowd cheering, but Mario's group leaned in closer. Was that…A Crystal Star?

"…but…that doesn't make any sense at all. Why would a Crystal Star be on the guy's belt?"

Link nodded. "Yeah…something that powerful shouldn't be on some band! Looks like we'll just have to **belt** it out, eh Mario?"

Mario: Why me? -.-*

They headed out of the arena and into the lobby to think things over.

"Boy…I don't know Mario…It's not like we can just steal that guy's belt…or can we?"

"Of course we can! It's for the good of the world!" Link insisted. "Steal that thing!"

"Ummmm…listen Link. I think the world of you, but really…we can't steal it."

"Oh all right…we'll battle! That'll be fun too!"

"We gotta fight our way to the top and win that belt fair and square!"

Everyone jumped up and cheered.

"So…let's find the sign-up sheet and get started!" Goombella started. Mario nodded, and just as they were about to leave, Link heard another brawl starting.

"Ooh! It must be that newcomer against the Major League! I gotta see this…"

He crashed through the door, the others sighing and shrugging.

"In one corner…" the announcer announced. "Ranked 10 in the Glitz Pit, We have the twins of terror, the duo of defense, and the attackers of anger…the ARMORED HARRIERS!"

Two large iron rocks with spikes came thundering onto the stage with Grr faces.

"And in the other corner, already Ranked 11 in the Pit after a few days, we have the fastest thing alive, your Priority One Hedgehog….the BLUE BLUR!"

Link and Mario nearly fell off the balcony trying to get a closer look at Sonic suddenly running into the arena.

"He came HERE?!" Link guffawed.

"Is that one of your friends?" Koopa asked.

"Heck yes it is! I can't believe he made it this far already…KICK SOME BUTT SONIC!"

Sonic's ear twitched at the cheer of a familiar voice, but he needed to focus on the single most important battle ever. At least, until he reached the champ stage. The twins had iron bodies, and mysterious defense, meaning that they were probably stronger than he was…

"I have to at least try…again. For the ninth time in a row…" Sonic told himself with a groan. He gave the first twin and excellent kick, but only ended up nearly breaking his toe. Again.

"Hahahaha, stinkwad!" the red shoed one cackled. "You still can't hurt us! But WE'RE going to pound you!"

He rammed into Sonic, taking away 6, then his brother did the same amount of damage. Sonic, already taking 12 damage in the first round, automatically knew he wasn't going to beat them.

"Gonna try to hurt us again sissy?!"

"We DARE ya!"

Sonic scowled a "Shadow" scowl, clenching his fist. These guys were impossible! His hand slightly shook from anger, frustration, and the thought of a dent in his ego.

"Urgh…I HATE running away from battles…" he grumbled, taking off.

"The Blue Blur has forfeited, making the Twins the Winner!"

Link and Mario gaped, amazed that Sonic lost a battle.

"Wow…they must be pretty tough!" whistled Goombella.

"Especially if Sonic can't hurt them, and they just wail on him like that!" cried Link. They left as the next match started, their spirits slightly down.

"Well, let's sign up for the Pit!"

Link nodded and smiled. "C'mon! Follow me to glory! Let's get that belt and maybe help Sonic out!"

Mario agreed as they went to talk to the door guard, who allowed them to pass to talk to Grubba…

---

"I think this is it!" Link said when they were standing in front of a very important looking door. Mario pushed it open, which Grubba wasn't expecting…

"Who in tarnation are you, sons? And who let you in?!? This is Grubba's office!" he yelled. "Yep, that's me, Grubba, and you, yer some rude dudes coming in here without knocking!"

"Paranoid…"

Mario walked up to his desk and explained that they wanted to become fighters. Everyone nodded in simple truth.

"You wanna be fighters?"

Mario: Oh yeah!

"Hoo-WEE! That do change a thing or two son! I always got time for an up-an-comer!"

"Awesome!"

"Yep this place is packed to the gills with young fighters, all primed and a-rarin' to go! I gotta admit, you're both a bit skinny for my tastes but I'm willin' to give you a shot! Now, play me straight. You wanna live the glamorous life of a champ don'tcha?"

"Darn Skippy!" yipped Link.

"All right! All right! I heard where you're coming from, loud an' clear!"

Link sat down on the couch with Koops and Goombella while Mario and Flurrie listened intently to Grubba's life story.

"Guh, I'm sick of listening to rants! Can't we do some action?" Link murmured.

"I'd hush! I don't want to get caught again!"

"But it's so not interesting…"

"…you reading me here?"

Mario looked around, then simply nodded. Link let out a sound.

"…Let's have a little walk n' talk. C'mon."

Grubba inched toward the door, and the duo had no choice but to follow. They headed next door, into the Champ's Room.

"Now how do you like THIS pard? Just feast yer eyes, go on! This…is the Champion's Room."

Mario: O-O

"UUeeerrrmmm…"

"Isn't it a sight? Deee-lux!"

"It's a sight all right…"

"You become the Champ son, and you'll get the key to this room! That ain't all, of course! That's on TOP of the big money and screamin' fans!"

Link's eyes sparkled. "Ah, the fame…"

"Yeah, no doubt about it son! Apply yourself an' a life of wealth an' comfort awaits!"

The next room he showed them was the Major League Room. It was nice, but not as flashy as the Champ's. Finally, they toured the Minor Leagues Room, which was really horrible…

"Hey…shouldn't Sonic be in here?" Link whispered to Mario. Mario nodded. They looked around Grubba to see the fellow Minors whispering.

"Yeah…I heard that dawg say that he ain't fightin' anymore!" a yellow Koopa explained.

"Wow…those Major Leaguers must be a challenge. After all, he breezed through us!" a green bandit huffed.

"…won't miss Big Blue…"

"Too bad BOMB! I wonder where he BOMB went…" a bomb wondered. Link and Mario exchanged glances.

**Back at Grubba's office-**

"Now, I'm sure you know this already son, but there ain't but one world champion. Clawin' you way to the top an' takin' the belt to become champ ain't an easy thing…but that's the point! Wouldn't be worth it if there were no challenge!"

"Then why did he quit…" Link murmured under his breath.

"I can see you got the fire for it too pard! You got the eye of the tiger, there! Yer gonna be champ, I can just FEEL it!" he cheered. "I ain't ever been so sure about a fighter…except Big Blue, but he's been really flumping' his fights with the Armored Harriers…"

Link stomped his foot. "Well we're going to avenge him! Bring it on!"

Grubba smirked and whipped out two registration papers. "Oh, hey, one other thing…You gotta sign an itty-bitty contract to be a fighter. It ain't no thing, just take a sec or two of yer time. Just jot your name here, ok?"

Mario and Link shrugged and signed up.

"Now, yer Mario?" he asked the red plumber. Mario nodded. "Ain't a bad handle…Still, I gotta say, pard, it lacks a little punch as a fighter's name, get me?"

"No…c'mon! MARIO!" Link wailed. "…hmmm…it COULD use some sprucing up. Link! Now _that's_ an exciting name!"

Goombella snorted.

"Lemme see here…bam! HOOOOOO-WEEEEEE! I got it! From now on, you're going to be…the Great Gonzales and The Missing Link! Hoo! Ain't they beauts? Dang! Ain't that a stroke of genius! Names like that only come around once in a lifetime! "

Mario jumped up while Link protested. "What?! What kind of a tough, macho name is that?! I was thinking Hackinator myself…"

Grubba shrugged. "Either the Missing Link or my personal choice, Link-Squeak!"

Goombella exploded in laugher with Koops, Flurrie, and Mario stifling giggles. Link blushed and said, "I'll take the Missing Link…"

"Yes, everyone will bow before the Great Gonzales!"

Link muttered something nasty.

Mario: …

"Jolene? Could you come in for a moment darlin'?"

A female Toad in a red business suit with a strand of blonde hair hanging on the side quickly trotted in. She adjusted her glasses and clutched her clipboard as she said, "Yes, sir? You wished to see me?"

"Sure did hon. Jolene, this is the Great Gonzales and The Missing Link, our newest rising stars! Be a peach and take them down to the minor league locker room, all righty?"

"Right away sir." she nodded. Jolene turned to the new fighters. "Mr. Gonzales and Mr.… Missing, if you would be so kind, please follow me."

Link threw up his arms. "Are you serious? Mr. Missing? This is going to be a loooong chapter…"

"Remember-avenge Sonic!" Koops stated eerily. Link straightened up and headed out the door.

"To Glory!"

On the way to the locker room, Jolene ranted on about some rules, like you must follow Grubba's conditions, you can't quit until Grubba says, and other little things. Naturally Link tuned everything out, cursing Navi for his hatred of rants. So Mario took note of everything in case they came back to bite Link in the butt. Upon opening the door, Link wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Ugh, did I mention it smells in here?" he gagged.

"If you don't like this dingy room, then I suggest moving up in the ranks…" Jolene retorted. She went on to explain how to use the terminal to schedule a match. Link instantly ran up to go first.

"Well Howdy Missing! Ready to get your fists dirty, huh? There ya go son!"

Link danced around in a fighting stance. "What extremely tough foe am I up against?!"

"Yer first battle's gonna be against the Goomba Bros.!"

Link grinned evilly. "I shall enjoy this…"

"Don't worry 'bout 'em. They'll be a piece of cake! Just mop 'em up, okay son?"

"No problem!"

"Hey, we wanna get everyone fired up, so appeal at least once!"

"Okay…I guess I can treat the crowd to a little piece of Link!"

Mario: Dear Lord, save us now!

"Good luck pard!" Grubba disappeared from the screen. As Jolene explained a few things to Link, Mario signed up for a match right after him. The guard escort suddenly pushed open the door, knocking an excited Link to the ground.

"Missing! Match time. Follow me Bub."

"Try not to get completely destroyed out there."

Link snorted at her. "Thanks for the words of encouragement there! Let's go clean up Kooper!"

"Sigh…My name is Koops, but whatever…."

Mario headed up to the ring to at least watch, someone else following close behind him…

* * *

**And here we officially go with Chapter 3! Yes, Sonic's still at the Pit (I made you think it was Samus, didn't I?), and no the "mysterious figure" isn't the same one at the end of this chapter, ****Eventually, Sonic gets a little more spotlight in this chapter and Link gets pushed back (not much though) but the same thing'll happen for Kirby and Samus in the 'arrival chapters'. Just a little note for the future ;) **

**On a different note, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!**

**Natalie (my little sister): And a happy New Year!**

**Yeah, I won't be updating until next year either! Ha ha!**

**Natalie: That joke is so over-used...**

**It's something Link would say! **


	26. the Minor of the Minors

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 25: The Minor of the Minors

Grubba held his microphone, ready to begin the match. The Goomba Bros. were all fired up, anxious that they'd actually have a match against somebody.

"Squarin' off next folks…are the Hoppin' Hardheads…the GOOMBA BROS.! AAAAaaaannnnddd…a newcomer with a hankering for hackinating…The Misssssssssing Link!" The crowd laughed hysterically.

"What a lame name!"

"I kind of like it…"

"Stop mocking the poor soul!"

"The Goomba Bros. have been waitin' an' getting' all het up for the fight. Let's check in!" Grubba anxiously trotted over to the five identical bros. "How do, Goomba Bros.? How're ya feelin' today? You ready for this fight?"

"Ha! Are you kidding man?" the oldest yipped. We're ALWAYS ready to bonk a fool or two!" Who is this "Missing Link" rookie? A cocky idiot like the last one, that's who! Waiting just makes us mad! We're gonna teach this tardy punk how to respect fighters with seniority! I think you outta call an ambulance now, just to save time later!"

"Yeah, if the ambulance is for you, then sure!"

All the heads turned to the West Door, where Link and a slightly unconfident Koops entered with pride.

"Hot-digity-DANG fightin' fans! There's the Missing Link now! Stridin' on up! I tell you, this rookie's got some guts, strollin' up late like he owns the place! Hoo!"

"Don't blame me! Kooper here had to go to the bathroom!" Link defended. KOOPS rolled his eyes.

"That was only a few seconds! This fool was going on about his lame name!"

"At least I **get** one!"

While they were fighting and Grubba was quickly trying to explain the rules, a Goomba jumped in the air with a cry of "Have a bonk punk!" and crashed down on Link's head.

"Wow I hate Goombas…" Link moaned.

"Hey! That's no fair! You can't attack before the bell rings! That's cheating!" Koops complained. "C'mon Link! We can't let a bunch of cheaters beat us! Let's take 'em down!"

"With pleasure!"

"Aw, quit crying will ya? That was just a little welcome gift for the rookie!"

"This won't take long…"

To start the match up, Link raised his sword, then spun around and froze in a stylish pose, appealing to the crowd. Koops then retreated into to his shell and took all five Goombas out with a Power Shell.

"Yeah! That's our thank you gift for the lame veteran!"

The Goomba just grunted in pain.

"I only get one measly Star Point?! Shows how much you guys are worth…"

"The Missing Link wins! Tell me, son, what was this first taste of victory like?"

"That fight? What a joke!" Link scoffed. A certain someone in the crowd smirked.

_"My words exactly…"_

"I'll tell you what I just saw folks: a whuppin'! This kid's got skills! Let's hear it for him folks! The Missing Link!"

Confetti rained down as Link waved and cheered. Said someone in the crowd quickly dashed out to meet Link in the locker room.

-------

In the locker room, Jolene paid Link the expense of…3 coins.

**Link's Rank Rose to 19!**

"Hey…where did Mario go?" Koops wondered.

"He and Flurrie are in their fight…" Goombella explained, sitting on the broken couch.

"I'm sure he'll wipe 'em out…" Link scoffed.

"Just like you did, Missing Link?" A figure chuckled in the doorway.

Link was at the door in a flash. "_Sonic!!!_ I thought you weren't fighting and you gave up and-"

Sonic shrugged. "I'm still in, I'm just taking a quick break. Besides, I didn't want to miss your first match! Seriously, Missing Link?"

Link scowled. "Don't ask."

Sonic held up his hands in defense. "Okay okay…so what suddenly beings you here?"

Link made a blank face and sat down next to Goombella. "Well, after **you** guys went your **separate** ways, I ran into Mario, and we've been traveling the Rogueport Area searching for Crystal Stars, and one of them is in this Pit!"

Sonic seemed interested. "Treasure Hunting Adventure, eh? Maybe I'll join when I become Champ!"

"Maybe?"

"Well…I DO have a career now…"

Link's face fell. "I see…well, do you know what happened to the others?"

"Nope. I have no idea where Kirby rolled off to, and I briefly passed Samus heading from the direction I was going to get my ticket up here. She was mumbling something about "unfair" and "some rat" and more, but I wasn't caring at the moment and-"

"How did you get a ticket?!"

"The Don saw who I was and gave me one on the spot. I love being Sonic the Hedgehog…"

"Glad to hear _you're_ famous."

Just then, Mario walked into the room, happy because he obviously won using Flurrie's Gale to blow away the competition.

**Mario's rank rose to 20!**

Sonic waved to his pal, and Mario gave a thumbs up. Next thing they knew the yellow koopa they saw earlier strode up to the group.

"Good to see ya back Big Blue!" he said. Sonic smirked.

"And yous guy thought I was leaving...have a little faith in me next time!"

They knuckle-touched, then Sonic told him to show Mario and Link the ropes of the place. He nodded and turned to Mario.

"How was your fight, dog?"

Link struck a pose. "Mine was a piece of cake, if you really want to know…"

"I'm King K man…" he explained while rolling his eyes. "Just a bush-league scrub like you."

Sonic held up a finger. "I am not a scrub, I just can't get out of the minor league!"

"Good meetin' you man. You look like a stand-up dude."

"I do standup comedy!"

"Don't even start Link…"

"I think I can hang out with you." K nodded. He motioned over toward the black Bob-omb. "Hey, so, why don't you meet the gang huh? This guy here's Master Crash."

Link instantly skipped over and shook his fuse. "Hi Crash! I'm Link! Do you happen to know a bomb named Bombette?"

Sonic sighed. "I doubt that Link…"

"Nice to meet you BOMB! Well. Now that we've gotten to know each other, I will give you advice BOMB! As Ms. Jolene was saying, you'd better BOMB obey Mr. Grubba's conditions!"

Sonic snorted. "That's the only reason why I have to fight you again is because I played by my own rules….but I'll easily beat you again-no worries!"

Crash glared. K coughed. "Yeah, my man's got some speech issues, but he's got good advice sometimes. Anyway, this lean machine over here is Bandy Andy."

"Original name for a bandit, by the way…" muttered Goombella.

"I bet he stole it!"

"Heh. Nice to meet you. I'm not in here too often, but if you see me around, say hi."

"OK, cool, and this last guy with the sweet purple kicks is known as Cleftor."

Cleftor grunted something in hatred at them.

"Easy there Cleft-dog! Dude ain't the friendliest guy, but you get used to him."

Mario, Link, and Sonic laughed. "Samus. Totally…"

"Anyway, that's the core minor-league crew!"

Sonic gave a thumbs up. "Cool man! I'll be sure to be watching when one of my pals takes you on!"

"Which shall be right now!" Link cackled insanely, pointing at who he was up against.

"Wow. I was expecting a little higher rank for you K…" Koops admitted. K shrugged.

"I was havin' a bad week. I was at rank 13, but I started fallin' after Big Blue took me out... See you in the ring!"

The guard came and escorted the fighters to the ring. Sonic and Mario trotted behind.

"You DO know you'll eventually have to fight Link right?" Sonic asked, stretching and walking. Mario nodded.

The two sat comfortably in the front row, ready to throw items to Link as needed. Link and Koops, on time this match, stared King K and the other KPs down.

"Fer our next battle, we got the adventurous hackinator, the Missing Link…and The Shell Machines of Doom, Yep, a fight to the finish with the KP Koopas!" announced Grubba.

"I'll try not to get in your way Link…" Koops trembled.

"How are we supposed to hit the Paratroopa? I'm not allowed to swap partners…" Link grunted.

"Ha! The Missing Link?!" The Paratroopa guffawed.

"he'll be a snap!" the other Troopa cackled.

"Meet my peeps Missin'! I told you we were going to square off, and now its ON!"

Sonic instantly jumped up and started to leave.

"Where are you going?!"

"To the Gift Shop…"

"What the-"

He lived up to his name and was gone in a blue blur.

"Get yourselves ready to…BAAAAAATTTTLE!!!!"

"All right Koops! Let's destroy the normal Troopas first before dealing with that Para-one, okay?"

"You got my name right!"

"It won't last…"

"I know…sigh…"

Link started off by slicing the front most one, which turned out to be King K.

"Sorry man-had to be done!"

"Don't worry-we'll get cha back!"

He half finished his statement when Koops swirled into him, instantly draining all his HP. K whispered something to his peeps before he fainted on the stage. The Troopa repeated Koops' move on Link, but Link guarded against it. The Paratroopa, however, swooped down and knocked Koops to the ground.

"Oh man! I'm REALLY doomed!" Link pouted. "C'mon Kooper! Get up!"

"I…can't! I'm a koopa! And I'm _**NOT**_ Kooper!"

"Whatever! Just…try?"

Link dash forward and used hack on the Troopa, killing it instantly. He glanced upward at the angry Paratroopa, a bit too late, and got kicked in the face. Koops managed to get off the ground, but he still wasn't much help.

"Now what?"

"Link catch!" Sonic shouted, throwing him a Thunder Bolt. Link caught it stylishly, then used it on the mocking Paratroopa. A single bolt of lightning crashed down on it, but even with its high defense, managed to faint with one shot. Link and Koops high-fived each other, then waved to Sonic who just winked.

"How did you know that?" gaped Goombella.

"I fought 'em before--prior knowledge."

-------

Back at the room, Mario was taking on the KPS as Link collected 4 coins! Woot!

**Link's rank rose to 18!**

"Thanks for the item Sonic! It really saved my butt…"

"Don't mention it. I'm sure you and Mario will plow through the Minors just like I did! But if you ever need a tip or two, I'll be here!"

Link grinned. Mario returned, also with a victory.

**Mario's rank rose to 19!**

"You guys are really close together! You'll be crashing heads together soon, I feel it!" Sonic pointed out.

"How come you're so anxious for that?" asked Koopa.

'I'd just wanna see who's win, I suppose..."

Link waved it off. "As long as I get the terminal first and win all my matches, they'll be nothing to worry about."

"Unless by some long shot chance the Missing Link gets up high enough, you'll be fighting me instead!"

Link gulped.

"I'll guarantee I won't let you win, that's for sure…"

Link shifted. "Uh…hey! You guys want to head out for a day in town?"

Sonic instantly sprang up. "Heck yes! There's a guy outside that sells Chili Dogs! There's a stand right next to a Hog Dog where you can get a picture!"

"One of those cut-outs you stick you head in? What are we waiting for?!"

Sonic and Link high-tailed it out the door, Mario following behind to actually buy needed items from the store…in this arena, you never knew what you might need.

* * *

**Early chapter because I might not be able to post tommorow. So, if I don't see you tomorow, HAPPY 2010!!!**


	27. Chili Dogs are a Good Cure

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 26: Chili Dogs are a Good Cure

Just as Mario, Sonic, and Link entered the lobby, they heard insane cheering and a mighty "Har har har har har har!" Sonic made a face.

"Rawk Hawk…"

"Isn't that jerk the champion with our belt?"

"Sure is! Man I** hate** that guy…" Sonic explained. "Every time I see him, he always gloats about how I keep getting wasted by Armored Idiots…"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"RAWK MEEE!"

"OVER HERE!"

"YOU'RE THE COOLEST!"

They tried to sneak by, but the big chicken suddenly belted out in words as Toads and Lakitus and Dog-people tried get to the champion.

"Everyone wants a piece of the Rawk! It's a tough life…" he sighed. Sonic couldn't help but snort.

"Yeah, must be tough being that big and stupid!"

Link and Mario tried to guide him away, but Rawk had already seen him.

"Here's a little free advice punk! Try to be me! Yeah! 'cause everyone loves to RAWWK!"

Sonic barred his canine teeth, Link instantly noticing.

"Oh my goddess-Mario, don't let go! He's_** really**_ serious when he shows his fangs!"

Sonic simultaneously tried to run out of his friends' grip, eventually going so fast he succeeded. Link made a bold attempt to stop him by jumping up and catching him, but only ended up on the floor. Sonic ended up curling into a ball and Spin Dashing all of Rawk's fans. When he returned on his feet after plowing into the last one, Sonic folded his arms and gave a daring look at Rawk.

"HEY! You! That ain't cool! Don't beat on my fans just 'cause you ain't got none! Especially when you keep runnin' from those wimpy Major Leaguers!"

Link and Mario instantly leaped toward Sonic, grabbing his legs before he could move-which was surprisingly slower than usual. Koops helped hold him, while Goombella tried to calm him down and Flurrie used her wind powers to blow him out the door. Sonic tried to pull away, but his speed was no match for this much determined strength.

"Good riddance you rat!" Rawk bellowed, followed by a chortle.

"HE CALLED ME A RAT! THAT DOES IT! I'M GOING TO-"

"No you're not Sonic, don't let him rile you up!"

Sonic's anger suddenly toned down a few degrees. "What? I was about to say I was going to beat him one day."

"Ooohh…"

Goombella jumped up and down in front of Rawk. "You idiot! You don't know when to shut up do you?!"

-----

Once safely outside, Link and Mario gripped Sonic's shoulders as he took some deep breaths.

"Wow Sonic…I don't think I've ever seen you so mad!" Link gaped.

"Sorry…I'm so frustrated that I can't get past the Minor League I'm going insane!"

"Easy…easy…"

Eventually, Sonic's breathing managed to even out, though still slightly irregular. Link patted his shoulder.

"C'mon! Let's grab a few Chili Dogs and head to the Watering Hole all right?"

"M'kay. I'm always up for a Chili Dog!"

"I know…"

After getting their lunch (and Link hitting Mario in the head with a camera he pulled out of nowhere for a picture in the hot dog), they headed to the Watering Hole.

"Glitzville rocks! It's so…spontaneous!" Goombella sighed.

"I agree! It has that hustle and bustle I've been craving!" agreed Flurrie.

"One Hero Tanker, Plumber's Muck, Strawberry Smoothie, and a few Mint Candies please!" Sonic ordered. Within moments, Link had a HUGE mug of Mushroom Dew, Mario "Plumber's Muck" which really was just a super -chocolaty chocolate sundae-with extra chocolate, and Sonic a simple smoothie. As he passed out the mints to everyone, Link tossed a green Rupee to the cashier.

"I'm sure that'll cover it. Keep the change."

The cashier nodded and started singing the "I'M RICH!" song. Sonic snickered. "You're lucky you can easily throw out gems that are worth a cent in your world…I had to exchange my all my rings for coins!"

"But aren't rings worth more than coins?"

"Yeah…still, your method is way easier!"

He sipped his smoothie as Koops asked how Sonic planned to beat to the Armored Harriers.

"I don't know…they're invincible! Literally! Their defense is infinite, and you can't jump on them…they might as well be diamonds!"

Link crunched on a mint. "I wouldn't like to match up with them, that's for sure…"

Sonic slightly smiled. "Well, I'll be back in the ring soon. Since I lost, I'll be up against Master Crash's team."

"Seriously, the Missing Link? That name isn't slightly threatening!" Link complained.

"It suits you perfectly then!" Goombella guffawed while she still had her chance. Sonic choked on a mint while laughing, and Mario helped him while Koops and Flurrie lightly laughed.

"Ha ha ha…"

"I'm only kidding Link! Besides, it beats Link-Squeak!"

Sonic collapsed to the floor. "Link-Squeak?! That makes the Missing Link sound like a name worthy of me!"

"You know, this mint could accidentally drop down your throat…"

Sonic got back on his stool while wiping a tear away. "You're bluffing…"

"…so?"

Goombella sighed. "Ah, that was so worth it…"

"So you managed to find a smart Goomba that wasn't Goombario huh?"

"Yeah…thank Goddesses!"

"Who is this Goombario you keep talking about?!"

Link just took a gulp of his tanker. "Just some really annoying mushroom that constantly got on my nerves during our last adventure…but I eventually forgave him…"

"I still don't like him…" Sonic grunted, spinning his straw around the cup. Link nodded.

"Who would?"

Mario: Me to an extent.

"Yeah…but you're MARIO! You're supposed to!"

Mario shrugged and took the last bite of his muck. Sonic, also finished with his smoothie, started chowing down on an extra Chili Dog. Link notice everyone finishing up and stared into his mug. He wasn't even half done yet! He started guzzling like mad as they cleaned up.

"Oooh, sorry Mushroom Dew!" he pulled out a random Rupee-a Red one, and tossed it to the cashier.

"That's me paying for not finishing that-literally."

The cashier instantly ran out and shouted something about Poshley Heights.

**Later after an intense shopping spree-**

"Sheesh Link! I know there are flying enemies, but did you really need to buy all those Thunder Bolts?"

"Well you bought all the Power Punches, and Mario has some Shrooms, so if we use our audience item throwing advantage we'll be golden!"

"Good point…"

They headed back to the locker room, Link ready for another match.

"All right…let's see who I'm up against this time…"

"Yer next opponent will be…Ranked 17 in the Glitz Pit, The Pokey Triplets! Now listen- no using items! Got it son? Now get out there!"

Link nodded and headed off. "Wish me luck!"

"They have 4 HP each…Kooper should be able to help you!"

"Not you too! What, do I need a name tag or something?"

"Sooooorrry!"

As Link and Koops left, Sonic turned to Mario. "Aren't you going to sign up for a match?"

Mario: Nah…

"Waiting until Link gets a bit higher? Understandable…"

**Several minutes later…**

Link angrily flew through the door. "GRRRAAAWH!"

"Whoa did you lose?"

"NO! I only had 5 HP left and I had to use a Mushroom! I didn't fit the condition and now I get to battle them again!"

Sonic whistled. "Tough call…"

Link groaned collapsed into the hard, uncomfy bed. "Wake me up tomorrow…"

"All right then…Mario, what are you doing?"

Said plumber was at the terminal signing up for a match with the Pokeys.

"Mario…if you win, you'll be up against Link…"

Mario: I know…

As he continued to schedule a match, Sonic layed back and smirked.

"I knew they'd be against each other soon…"

**Next morning-**

"Fer our next battle, we've got the Merciless Executioner, The Great Gonzales, against…The Spiked Terror Triplets…Yep a fight to the finish with the Pokey Triplets!"

"Such an unoriginal name…" Sonic yawned in the front seat. He nodded to Mario and Flurrie (who was just going to blow all the Pokeys away, since Mario couldn't use a Star Move.) "Oohh…you're using Flurrie? How weak! Man up!"

Mario sighed and swapped for Koops.

"Much better!"

"Uummmm…okay, we can do this!" Koops cheered.

"Go ahead…touch usssssss…It won't hurrrrrrrrt…too muccccchhhhhh…"

"Officially creepy…"

"Get yourselves ready to BATTTTTLE!!!"

Mario started off the battle with a Power Smash to the first Pokey, draining all its health. Koops flew into the next two, leaving the second with one HP and the third dead (the second's pokey ball flew into the back one). The final Pokey slithered up to Mario, then fell forward and bashed him on the head. Mario managed to guard it, but still took a decent amount of damage. He wrapped things up with a quick pound of his hammer and won the match!

"We did it Mario! Wow!" celebrated Koops. Mario nodded.

**Mario's rank rose to 18 (Link is 17)!**

Sonic strode up to Mario and raised an eyebrow. "Got a plan for Link?"

Mario nodded.

"Poor guy…still doesn't know that he's about to get own by…The Great Gon-ZA-les!"

Mario grinned as King K walked up to him. Sonic left to wake Link up.

"Hey, what's crackin' G-man?" K wondered. "You just finish beatin' down some poor fools or what? You lookin' good man!"

Mario: Thanks…

"The old King K wouldn't mind a bit of your luck man. Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Get in there you!" a feminine voice shouted from the other side of the door. All the minor leaguers turned their attention to the racket, except Link, who was still sleeping no matter how hard Sonic shook…Jolene shoved Bandy Andy into the room with fury.

"How many times do I have to tell you: that room is absolutely OFF LIMITS!" Jolene shouted. "If you want to remain on our fight roster, you must obey our rules. And don't think I haven't noticed you following me around. Stop that too. It's creepy. If you don't obey the rules, we'll kick you out of the Glitz Pit. Understand?"

She adjusted her glasses and trotted out of the room. Sonic groaned.

"You were stalking her AGAIN?'

"That's just scary dude…MAN you're just a MAGNET for trouble!"

"Heh heh heh heh heh…Sorry, King K. Sorry Blue. Didn't mean to bring Queen Nag in here."

"Aw don't sweat it B-money. Jolene can take that 'tude and shove it right up her nose!"

Sonic suddenly swung into the conversation. "Why are you always chasing that girl anyway man?"

K smirked. "Yeah, got a little thing for her?"

Bandy blushed and growled at both of them. "Shut up K!"

Sonic kept snickering. "You too Blue!"

"Oh, I'm just messing. You as gullible as my pal Knuckles!"

Bandy stuck up what was probably meant to be a nose. "…Now…if you folks will pardon me, I must be off!"

While he left, Sonic shook his head. "Whatever…better wake Link up…"

He headed back over to the bed and shook the Hero of Time with sonic speed.

"Link…C'mon buddy! You're up next for the ring!"

"Duurrrr…"

Sonic rolled his eyes and stuck the Ultra Shroom Link found in the Boggly Tree in front of his nose. Link sprung up. "Hah…uhh? The…Pokeys right?"

"Umm…well, I'll just say it's the guy Ranked 18th, okay?"

Link yawned and straggled to the terminal. Only half awake, he hit reserve a match and went to see who he was up against.

"…Ranked 18 in the Glitz Pit, the Great Gonzales!"

Link woke up so fast and so suddenly that he didn't hear the condition.


	28. Mario vs Link!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 27: Mario Vs. Link?!

"Fer our next battle, we we've got the Merciless Executioner, The Great Gonzales…and the Adventurous Hackinator…Yep, a fight for the finish with the Missing Link!"

"It'll be a fight to the finish all right…" Sonic commented in the front seat, chowing on popcorn. "HEY LINK! Your condition is to never let your partner attack!"

"WHAT!? I'm going to get owned!!!"

"Yeah…worse, Mario's condition is to use a Star Power!"

"Oh COME ON! He'll Earth Tremor me to death!"

Goombella tossed a handful of popcorn after scooting next to Sonic. "C'mon, fight!"

"You still have a chance!"

Link sighed, and Mario started up the battle. Mario began with a Spin Jump, draining 5 from Link. Flurrie did a Body Slam to knock Link to the floor.

"My! You're quite a twig, aren't you!"

"(insert really bad word)"

Link had suddenly devised a plan. Since Koops couldn't attack, why not let him use items and what not? Koops went first, using a Power Punch on Link.

"Yeah! Now this is power!" Link roared while growing three sizes. He brandished his sword and hacked at Mario, chopping away a big 12!

Sonic clapped. "I told ya you weren't doomed!"

Mario regained posture from the blow and summoned the Diamond Star. He and Flurrie jumped onto it, power growing by the second. Link grabbed Koops and shook him.

"We're so screwed!"

"We are _not_ screwed…."

"The most he can take away from us is, like, 8!"

"Okay, maybe we are…"

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of an earthquake, and the two were bounced into the air by the stage! Mario had a serious game face look, and Goombella took a picture of Link's. With one last crash, Link and Koops flew into the ceiling, Koops instantly passing out.

"You forgot to rest before this match didn't you…"

"YOU were still sleeping!!"

"I didn't know we were against **Mario**!"

Now Link really was on his own. Flurrie charged in with a Body Slam again, but Link countered it, doing 4 to the wind spirit.

"All right, my turn…without Koops, I can't replenish my health without wasting a turn! Gah…"

Still, he figured he could defeat Mario, and performed hack once again. Mario was left with one HP.

"NO!" There went Link's plan. Mario and Flurrie swapped places, Flurrie feeding Mario a Super Shroom. Mario called upon his Crystal Stars again, and started tossing them at pictures of him and Flurrie, along with flowers. Link stomped his foot.

"So not fair…"

"_Finally_ something interesting!" Sonic exclaimed, elbowing Goombella.

"I don't get why Link just didn't swap Koops out for me…"

"Must be a pride thing."

Mario had expertly refilled everything-except his Star Power- and planned to give Link a bit of a chance by using both his and Flurries turns to appeal. Link, not expecting this, ate a Super Shroom himself. After Mario and Flurrie both waved to the crowd, things got a little more serious. Link, now shrunk back to normal size, dashed and slashed at Mario. Mario Guarded, receiving less damage that usual. The crowd jumped up in a wave of a cheer. Mario performed a Power Smash, then following up with a double backflip. The audience flew into the air and spun around, giving him Star Power like crazy.

"I feel so unloved…"

Flurrie Slammed Link again, but he guarded against it. Now with a motivation, Link jumped into the air, spun around with his sword, then slashed Mario again.

"STYLISH!" he shouted. Now Sonic and _Goombella_ were in the air! Mario adjusted his cap, seeing as they were equal in HP. He pulled out a shining blue hammer with spikes, also known as the Piercing Blow!

"Where does he get all those fancy moves?!" guffawed Sonic. "That's way past awesome!"

He crashed down on Link, then did two back flips and raised his hands in the air, receiving confetti. The audience jumped into the air again, Sonic doing a front flip. Flurrie wanted to show off with her Body Slam, but Link simply super guarded her. Link gripped his sword and hacked at Mario once again, then crouched, sprung up, and swung his sword professionally around. The entire arena went insane.

"Oh-my-gosh-this-is-so-awesome-tell-me-about-it!" Sonic and Goombella slurred together, both bumping each other in the shoulder on the edge of their seats.

Both fighters were at 15 HP, and still apparently strong. Flurrie swallowed a Maple Syrup, and Mario whipped out his Quake Hammer. He held it behind him for three seconds, then thrust it into the stage with all his might. Link jumped from the aftershock while Mario pulled off all his back flips. The swordsman went at the plumber with Slash again, **except**…

"**I MISSED?!"**

"He **_MISSED!?_**" Sonic, Goombella, and nearly the entire stadium shouted. Link returned to his spot, slack jawed, and glanced at his HP.

8.

Flurrie smashed him with a Body Slam, taking away 4, and Mario pulled out a Crystal Star once more. He and Flurrie hopped up, and they managed to finish The Missing Link off.

Sonic and Goombella's eyes were begging to fall out. Link stumbled a bit, then suddenly crashed forward. Both brawlers leveled up though: Mario FP and Link HP.

"…and the winner is the Great Gonzales!"

"Sorry I got in your way Link…"

"Stupid conditions…"

**Mario's rank rose to 17!**

**Link's rank fell to 18...**

**-----**

"Wow that was _awesome_! The way Mario pulled out that star, and how Link managed to counter Flurrie all those times! Epic win!" Sonic rambled. Link had taken a quick nap to replenish his health, quickly beat the Dead Bones, then sat quietly next to Sonic. "Aw, cheer up Link! It was only one loss! I'm sure you'll beat him soon!"

"He's a fighting master!"

"So are you, last time I checked…you just had a stroke of bad luck is all!"

Link snorted. "Tell me about it."

Sonic sighed, knowing Link would be sore about it for a while. He really wanted to fight Master Crash and the other bob-ombs, but that would mean heading off to battle the Armored Harriers again. He wasn't going down that road again. Mario had already served the Dead Bones and Spike Storm , and was currently in a fight with the Hand-It Overs, Bandy Andy's team. King K strolled over with his usual cool look.

"Man, I heard Double-G-dog is just KNOCKING blocks off! Not bad!" he exclaimed.

"Don't remind me."

"Link's upset because he was one of those blocks…"

"Sorry man-didn't know that. But tell him he's the real deal man! The realest I've ever seen. Make sure he keeps bustin' heads!"

"Yeah okay…"

K punched Sonic's arm. "…and if anyone gives ya lip, you just tell them King K said to back it up! Biz-OOWWWW!"

Sonic gave a thumbs up. "Will do!"

"Meh."

Sonic, being the naturally optimist soul he was, was fed up with Link's negativity. "C'mon Link! What's there to be mad about! Mario's tearing UP people, and you're here moaning about one little loss!"

"That one little loss was less than an hour ago, and Mario's past the 15th rank!"

"Well…if you beat those weak little Spinies and Lakitu, then maybe you'll feel more confident!"

Link shrugged. "I could probably beat them with Kooper-"

"KOOPS!"

"That's the spirit!"

Link headed over to the terminal and signed up a match just as Mario returned. Now he was up against Spike Storm. He glanced toward Mario and Sonic.

"Coming to watch?"

Mario said he needed to rest and Sonic said he wanted to chat with King K.

"All right…wish me luck!"

He walked out the door, confident with this match.

**Several minutes later…**

"…and the thing exploded!" Sonic finished, Mario and K's eyes bugging out.

"Man dude! You're one heck of a dare devil!"

"Thank you!"

Suddenly, a sickening wail howled in the hall.

"AIUGH! IT HURTS!!!"

"What in the world?" King K wondered.

The sound of rushed footsteps and panicked voices rang out.

"Keep quiet…" one man demanded.

"MY FOOT!" the same pained voice shouted.

"Oh, you're fine. Just shut up."

"HOW DARE YOU! If it wasn't in pain, I'd-"

"Apply pressure right there…" a female voice instructed.

"OOOOOOUUUCH!!!"

"Do we have a gag, maybe?"

"WHAT!?"

"C'mon, get a grip will ya?"

"MOMMY!"

K shook his head. "Whoa. Sounds like some poor sucker just earned himself a trip to the hospital…"

Sonic suddenly pounced on him. "_How_ can you _say_ that? Don't you know who that was?! That was **LINK**!!!"

King K put on a look of fear as he gently lowered Sonic down. "Hey, man, this is a brutal sport ya know? This stuff happens."

"I **know** that! Where's the hospital?!"

"Uh…at the very back of the arena so patrons don't see all the injured-"

Sonic grabbed Mario and was out of the room simultaneously.

----

Mario had to recompose himself from the sudden speed-of-sound sprint with a trip to the bathroom. Still, it didn't take him long to find Sonic at Link's bedside in a room down the hall.

"What happened?" Sonic asked the moment he entered the room.

"Ooorgghhh…I was winning...I was about to deal the final blow-weird how it's always the final blow huh?"

"Get on with it!"

"Sorry…anyway, just as I finished pulling off a stylish move, I landed on my foot all wrong and it snapped like-"

Sonic instantly cringed. "Okay, okay! You messed up your foot joint, am I correct?"

"Pretty much. My foot was bent downward, and the part where my foot and leg-I guess the ankle-connect hit the floor hard."

"Yow…" Goombella made a face.

"Will you be able to walk normal again?" Koops wondered. Link smiled.

"Of course! Just a small rearrangement in my ankle and I'll be like normal! I won't be able to walk for a few days, but I'll be able to walk."

Sonic grinned. "That's great! But…you won't be able to fight in the Pit anymore!"

Link shrugged. "That's okay. I can help you and Mario by being in the audience!"

Sonic gave a soft smile that grew into a smirk. "…and_ I'll_ help _you_ get the Crystal Star by becoming the champion!"

"Huh?! But-"

"See, I'll get the glory of the Champion title that I totally deserve, and you two can get the glitzy Crystal Star on the belt and be on your way!"

"How do you plan to beat the Armored Harriers, dear?" Flurrie wondered. Sonic winked.

"I'm Sonic the Hedgehog! I'm sure I'll be able to find a way…"

As the gang left, Link waved and wished both Mario and Sonic good luck with their matches, and prepared to stay the night in the hospital wing.

------

"Man! I feel so bad for Link now…" Koops sighed the next day back in the Minor League Locker room. Sonic patted him.

"He's totally fine! Just one too many stylish moves…" he then sighed. "I kind of wish I had been watching him. Then maybe I could've prevented it or something…"

Goombella jumped next to him. "There's nothing we can do now but wait it out. It happened, and we can't change anything. We should be happy he didn't set his entire leg out of whack!"

Sonic nodded as Mario started to wait for the guard to escort him.

"You didn't do your condition in your last battle?"

Mario: No.

"Now you're against the Hand-it Overs again…they're pretty tricky. I'd say use Flurrie."

As Mario nodded and left, King K walked up to Sonic.

"Hey man…really sorry 'bout your buddy…"

"It's all right. He fine now."

"Well, check this: I heard the Hot Dog Stand outside is getting' a new menu item! Yeah, sounds like its some crazy hot dog made with an egg from a southern island. Some fool was even sayin' the Hot Dog'll help you win fights! You oughta snack out on one!"

Sonic snapped his fingers. "I'll get one for Link! It'll be perfect! A snack with an energy boost!"

He and the partners headed out into the hall.

"…But first, I'd like to see Mario battle…"

----

Now snug in the front row, the group all sat and cheered for Mario.

"Fer our next match, we have the Merciless Executioner, The Greeeeeeeat Gonzales…and the Grim Death Burglars, yep a fight to the finish with the Hand-it Overs!"

"Hehe heh heh! We're awful quick, awful clever…and just plain awful!" cackled Andy.

"Not to mention your _name_ is awful…" sighed Goombella.

"I figured they were going to say they'd "steal" the show or something!" input the blue hedgehog.

"Get yerselves ready to BAAAAAAAATLE!!"

Mario, unfortunately, wasn't allowed to use any FP points. Last time he used them to have Flurrie blow them all away, but he seriously knew he couldn't do that. So now he had Koops with him, hoping he could pull off some damage. Mario started things off instantly with Earth Tremor, killing the Red Bandits on the spot. The two Big Bandits (Andy and another green Bandit) still had two HP. Koops shot his shell into the one that wasn't Andy, and he simultaneously collapsed. Koops spun his shell around on the floor before wailing "STYLISH!"

Andy smirked and managed to snag a Thunder Bolt from Mario, but the red plumber managed to get it back with a simple swing of his hammer.

"We did it Mario! Wow!"

**Mario defended his rank at 14.**

"Good job Mario! C'mon! the Hot Dog guy is selling a new flavor of Hot Dog and I wanna buy one for Link!" Sonic exclaimed. Mario nodded and the two hurried outside.

------

"No! Bad! So very bad! Behave yourself, egg!"

The group turned to see the hot Dog guy chasing a spotted egg.

"No! Bad! Come back! My imported egg escaped! Somebody, catch it!" he wailed.

Sonic smirked. "Don't worry! I got it!"

He instantly ran over and chased the egg about.

"Man! For an egg it sure is fast!"

Eventually, he randomly pounced and caught the egg in his hands. As he held it, he started to stare at it, and he suddenly didn't want it to be captured.

_"What the-"_ he thought before uncontrollably letting it go. It jumped onto the top of the stand, fell asleep, and the pig lost it.

"Why did you let it go!?!" Hoggle shouted. Sonic shrugged.

"Slipped out of my hands...?!"

"MOST AWFULLY BAD!!! Come down from there, bad egg! How am I supposed to get it now? FLY there?!" he turned to Mario. "You! Don't just stand there with your mustache! Find a way to get up there!"

Sonic frantically jumped up and down. "Mario! Link told me that you have a curse that really is more of a super power that lets you fly!"

Mario: Oh yeah!

Sonic ran up to the Watering Hole's roof (where Mario had already Spin Jumped the giant switch and made the stairs appear). He jumped up on a spring and landed on a Flight Pad.

"Hurry up, slow-mo! There's an egg that needs to be rescued!"

Mario raised an eyebrow as he caught up with Sonic. It was just an egg; why was he so concerned about it? Nevertheless, Mario flew himself and Sonic onto the roof of the stand. As soon as Mario gently tapped the egg, it woke up and turned its attention to Sonic.

"...Hm? Is it just me, or do you think that egg...What? You want our help egg?" Koops gasped. Sonic suddenly bent down and practically cuddled the egg.

"Of course we'll help you! An Egg-Dog doesn't sound very appetizing anymore..."

"Your call Mario."

Mario: Help the little guy!

"I don't know...I really want a hot Dog-" Koops urged.

Sonic pounded him on the head. "We are NOT having an innocent baby egg be turned into a meat by-product!" He looked down at the Hoggle. "That cool with you, sir?"

He sighed. "Awww...fine. Most people don't like eating stuff that jumps all over the place, anyway."

Sonic jumped off the stand in a cheer of "YEAH!" and Mario and co. followed.

"Looks like your free little guy! Bye!" Goombella said. The egg jumped up and down next to Sonic.

"Huh? What's with you now? You want to follow us or something?" Koops guffawed. Sonic grabbed the egg and practically bowed to Mario.

"Please can we keep this egg?! Please!?"

"You must care about that thing a lot if you're out of character like that..."

Mario: Okay. It can follow us.

Sonic: EPIC WIN!!!

He and the egg practically skipped back inside. "C'mon little buddy! Let's go meet Link!"

Sonic grabbed a Hot Dog, still wanting to get Link something to eat, and ran for the Hospital Wing.

----

"Link! Here's a Hot Dog. I figured you were hungry-"

"Of course I am!" Link roared as he ate the food in three bites. "They haven't fed me once! not even a regular Mushroom!"

Sonic blinked. "Well, I _was_ going to get you this new flavor of Egg-Dog, but I just couldn't let the poor Egg be used like that and now he's my pal! See?"

The Egg bounced around excitedly and Link grinned.

"That's cool! I **AM** curious to see what an Egg-Dog tastes like-" Sonic made a face. "-but not from this egg, of course…"

Sonic smiled again. "I'd love to stay and chat, but Mario is catching up to me quite quickly. As soon as he beats Rank 13, I'll defeat the Bob-ombs, then I'll be up against the rock-heads again…"

"I'll try to be there when you take on the Major League again! Maybe I'll be able to bring some luck!"

Sonic chuckled. "I hope so! I'll need all the luck I can get!" he then patted the egg. "Though I have a feeling this little guy is all the luck I'll need…"

* * *

**Mario and Link battled?! Link broke a bone?! Sonic's best friends with an egg?!?! I have even more fans! (Woo!) What_ has_ the world come to!?! XD**

**This is actually another fused chapter (5 and 6, and, 24 and 25 were also fused) but I'm liking the outcome! We're getting even closer to even more epic chapters in this...Chapter! :D **

**EDIT: I swear I posted this at my regluar time, and when I wasn't receivng any reviews, I was flipping out! Then I checked and saw it was still at 27 chapters...so I have no idea what happened. Sorry for the wait on today's chapter!**


	29. All Right! Bring it On!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 28: All Right! Bring it ON!

"Calm down Sonic!" Koops exclaimed to the blue hedgehog training with him. Sonic was furiously punching his fists at Koops, throwing in an occasional kick and a Spin Dash.

"Sorry! I've been out of practice for days! I seriously need to get cracking!" Sonic explained, stopping to take a drink. "Mario's getting ready to beat the Mind Bogglers and the Punk Rocks, and I gotta be ready for my battle with Master Crash and the Armored Harriers!"

While Mario sat and waited to be escorted, and Sonic had sat down for a quick rest, King K strode over with and interested look.

"Hey, you hear the latest Big Blue? G-dog?" he asked.

"Nope. What's up?"

"My boys said they saw a STUNNIN' babe havin' a juice at the Fresh Juice Shop. King K could use a little shorty in his life, dig?"

Sonic smirked. "Oh, I dig all right…"

Goombella snorted. "MEN!"

"Check her out for me man!"

"Already did. She's in a slender black dress with a blond strand of hair, and a Toad-gorgeous face!"

K whistled. Goombella had the nerve to smack him.

**Moments Later-**

"Fer our next battle, we have the Merciless Executioner, The Greeeeeeat Gonzales and…the Gray Entanglers, yep a fight to the finish with the Mind Bogglers!"

"Too bad you can't use your hammer Mario…" Koops sighed.

Mario: I know right?

"Get yerselves ready to…BAAAAATTLE!"

Mario started things off with a jump to the Puff's head, killing it on the spot. Koops used his Power Shell to rocket through the Piranha Plant and the Pider, each draining 3. The plant appeared in front of Mario and bit his nose, while the Pider launched a web at him. Mario jumped on the Pider, finishing off its HP, and Kooper did the same with a Shell Shot and the Piranha.

"We have a winner! The GREAAAAT GONZALES!" bellowed Grubba. Mario waved to the crowd as Koops jumped up and down with an overly happy face.

"We won? Cool!"

**Mario's rank rose to…I'll get back to you on that.**

**------**

Just before Sonic could head to his match, King K headed up to them with a slightly glum face.

"Listen man…keep it under your hat, but I'm thinking' 'bout retiring…" he whispered. Sonic recoiled as Mario's jaw dropped.

"W-What?! Why? You the only one that can manage to keep the Minor Leaguers in one piece!"

"If I stay any longer, my future might get shorter, dig? After next match, I'm gone…it ain't cool man, that's for sure, but you know what? That's life. Right Double-G-Dog?"

Mario nodded with a shrug.

Sonic frowned. "But…the next match is mine! I won't even be able to say good-bye?"

"Aw don't worry! I got ya back dis round, even if I ain't there. Good luck dog!"

"Thanks…"

The egg rubbed against Sonic's leg before returning to its usual spot on the bench to await his return.

"Listen…you be cool man. Promise me you won't forget you once knew the Great King K!"

"Promise. See ya pal! This win is for you!"

With a wink, Sonic was gone. Mario told the partners to follow and they headed for the stands.

-----

"Fer our next battle, we have the fastest thing alive, your Priority One Hedgehog…the BLUE BLUR and…The Big Bomb Boomers, yes a fight to the finish with the Bob-omb Squad!"

"Here we go, Blue Blur BOMB! I have advice! Just give up now BOMB!" Crash blurted.

"Whatever! My condition is to beat you in five turns, and that's 4 more than I need!" Sonic scoffed.

"Get yerselves ready to…BAAAATTLE!"

"This'll end quick!" Goombella chuckled.

"You know, to be a good Sport, I'll let you bombs go first!" Sonic said with a smug look.

"FINE BOMB!"

Crash rammed into Sonic, only to get countered, and the other three got the same treatment.

"Wow! I forgot how fast he was BOMB!"

"You'd better believe it! Now…Action Chain!"

Sonic jumped into the air, then curled up like he was going to do a Spin Dash. He crashed down on Crash, beating him, then dove into the other three bombs and took them all out also. As the bombs fainted he landed back on the ground and performed a break dancing move that made the crowd go wild.

"We have a winner! The BLUE BLUUUUUURRR!"

Sonic smirked with giving a thumbs up to the crowd. "Too easy! Piece of cake!"

**Sonic defended his rank at 11.**

**-----**

"It's odd not having King K rolling up and giving us an update…" Koops admitted. Sonic sat on the bench, the egg snuggling into his side.

"Yeah…but he's gone now, and we'll just keep moving on…"

They turned around to see Crash talking to Cleftor. They were discussing the same thing.

"It is quite lonely without King K around BOMB…" Crash sighed.

"No lonely…him too weak…Now him not here. Sound normal to Cleftor."

"You are in BOMB denial Cleftor! I saw you weeping in that locker BOMB-BOMB!"

"Wow. The loss took a toll on everyone…" Sonic noted. "Makes me wonder who is going to take K's place-"

The door opened to a Swooper and Jolene. The egg tried to jump in the way but Mario helped hold it back.

"Right this way Sir Swoop. This is your dressing room. You're starting in the Minor League, of course, as you've just started you career. If you don't like this dingy room, I suggest you work your way through the ranks."

After Jolene explained to Sir Swoop about how to use the Terminal and what life was like in the Pit, the bat swooped over to Mario and Sonic.

"Umm…Hi guys. Yeah…my name's Swoop. SIR Swoop, I mean. Nice to meet you!"

"I'm Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog!"

Sir Swoop waved and security whisked him off to his first match.

"I almost want to watch him fight…" Sonic sighed. "Oh! Wait!"

He checked the terminal to see that Mario had another match after Sir Swoop. "Hey! You guys wanna watch Mario before I take on the Major League again?"

"Yeah!" "Woo hoo!" "Excellent idea!"

Sonic was about to leave the egg, but shrugged and decided it should at least get to see a match…even if it was still in an egg.

------

"Fer this next battle, we have the Merciless Executioner, The Great Gonzales and...The Green Torture Squad, yep a fight to the finish with the Punk Rocks!"

"You'd think he'd get tired of saying that..." mused Flurrie. This was going to be a basic battle. He simply couldn't use items, and he knew what a Cleft's Weakness was! Mario swung down with his quake Hammer, and all the Clefts flipped over. Flurrie Body Slammed a Cleft and defeated it easily. The other two flipped themselves over, and the process repeated 2 more times.

"So not worth the challenge!" Flurrie yawned.

**Mario's rank rose to 12!**

**-------**

Sonic nervously huffed and panted, heart going at an incredible pace. It took Link arriving in a wheel-chair to set him straight.

"Calm down Sonic. You'll do fine!" he assured. Sonic glanced down and hid a giggle.

"It's kind of weird looking down at you…you're like, 4 feet taller than me!"

"I'm only 5 foot 8!"

"You're still growing though! Next time, you'll be a 6 footer!"

"One can hope!"

"You'll do awesome Sonic!" Koops assured.

"I agree!" added Goombella.

"This battle will be marvelous!" Flurrie chuckled.

Mario gave Sonic and thumbs up, and the blue hero walked up to the terminal.

"Well dog my cats! If it ain't the Blue Blur! Fixin' for a fight huh?" Grubba babbled. Sonic impatiently tapped his foot.

"Yeah, yeah, let's get this over with…"

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Hoo-wee! Yer gonna love this! Yer next opponent is…Ranked 10 in the Glitz Pit…The Armored Harriers!"

"Woot."

"That's right! Yer darn tootin'! Yer finally gonna make a go at the Major League son!"

"Let's hope so…"

"We're expecting great things from you, so don't go a-letting' us down, now!"

"OOoohh…"

Sonic sat on the bench and shook as Link wheeled up to him.

"Hey Sonic! Guess what **I** got?" Link teased.

"A cheat code?"

"No. SUPER SHOES!"

He pulled them out and handed them to Sonic.

"Maybe they'll make you strong enough to win!"

Sonic whipped off his old shoes, landing in Mario's arms, and slipping into the up-graded ones.

"It's unlikely, but I feel way more confident now! Thanks!"

Link just grinned.

_Sonic:  
HP: 20  
FP: 15_

_Moves: Spin Dash (4 atk)  
__Action Chain (3 FP, 2 atk can hit all enemies repeatedly until action command fails)  
Whirlwind (5 FP, 6 atk, damages all enemies)_

The guard came to escort Sonic, and the hedgehog jumped in the air.

"All right! Bring it on!"

The egg begged to join, but Sonic smiled and bent down to pat it.

"Not this time, buddy. Be good and sit on the bench until I get back, okay?"

The egg bounced twice then landed on the bench. The rest of the gang quickly headed off to the arena. They weren't missing this for the world.

Luckily for that egg, the Terminal doubled as a T.V. The channel? Glitz Pit Arena.

* * *

**Can't believe Paper Mario X has been around for a year already... totally awesome :D better yet, we have the first super-awesome chapter of Chapter 3! The Armored Harriers get what's coming to them, we finally find out the Yoshi's name, and a huge dose of humor! Can't wait for next week! ...unless I get ready to die from anticipation ;D**


	30. The Birth of a Soul

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 29: The Birth of a Soul

"DON'T YOU FOOLS HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR A GUY IN A WHEEL CHAIR?!" Link wailed through the crowd, trying to make it to the front. He finally reached the audience stage where Mario, Goombella, Koops, and Flurrie were anxiously waiting. "People have no respect whatsoever for the injured…"

"I could say I do…that must've been some injury!"

"Ms. Mowz?!"

Ms. Mowz was watching from behind them, and quickly put a finger to Link's lips.

"Shh…if I'm caught, I'm **caught**. I'm only here to see that big, bad, blue hedgehog win this bout!"

"Oh, don't tell me you have a crush on Sonic?!"

"Why not? He's kinda cute…"

"Gah…that's messed up! You can like a hedgehog, but not this irresistible swordsman?"

"I'm moving…"

"Fine! You do that!!!"

As Ms. Mowz scurried off to leave, the match instantly began.

"…and now, for today's main event! The major league awaits the 11th-ranked Blue Blur…but only if he can beat the 10th- ranked powerhouses…the Iron Adonis Twins! First, let's get the Priority-One Hedgehog in here, folks! The BLUUUUUE BLLLUURRR!"

Sonic sped through the red doors, skidding onto the stage and striking a pose. Link could feel Ms. Mowz, wherever she was, sigh in awe. The crowd went nuts with shouting cheers.

"GOOOO Big Blue!!"

"Kick their iron tails!"

"Don't you dare lose, dude!"

"Look at those shoes!"

Grubba anxiously trotted up to him. "HOOOOOOOOO-WEEE! The Blue Blur! How're ya feelin'?"

"Just perfect, thanks…"

Link suddenly belched in the crowd. The entire arena stared at him.

"Uhhh…excuse me?"

"MAN! That is so RANK!"

The group surrounding him took a few steps away. Link folded his arms and pouted in his wheel chair.

"Ermm…okay…anyway, Whoa nelly! You heard the fella folks! He's obviously itchin' to mix it up some! You've lost to these guys nine times already! What makes you think you will this time?"

"Well, I-"

Then, the blue doors opened, and two huge clefts came storming and stomping into the arena. Sonic mentally gulped.

"Good gravy!"

"Iron 'em out!"

"Whoa! Are spikes legal?!"

"Oh my God-they're going to _destroy_ him!"

"Not very helpful Link…"

The Twins finally stopped on the stage, grunting at everyone and sneering at Sonic. Grubba walked away from Sonic and held his microphone out to the nearest rock.

"Hyuk hyuk! Your challenger is real confident, boys!"

"SAY WHAT?!"

"Yep, he's talking trash…"Iron Adonis Twins?" he said. "More like Paper Dog-Face Bros.!…and they smell! And then he said, "I bet they just play video games and cry when they lose!" um, yeah, and then he said…"Outie bellybuttons run in their family! Stinkwads!" …and so on. Yep."

Sonic put on a look of horror._ "This guy is giving me a death wish…"_

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT?!" Team Mario yelled, outraged.

"BOO!" shouted Link, chucking a rock at Grubba but missing by inches and hitting a twin instead.

"That chump is going to be served TWICE as hard for doing that!!!" he roared. Sonic glared darkly at Link who grinned sheepishly.

"How does he know mom has an outie? That jerk!" the other one howled. "We're gonna blend you up into a smoothie pal! And then we're gonna drink ya. AGAIN!!! Oh, and one more thing…Only smelly Stinkwads call other people Stinkwads! Understand, stinkwad?"

Sonic sweat dropped. "Wow…you just dissed yourself…"

"Simmer down there bro. You! Stinkwad! You're gonna regret opening your yap, pal! AND you're gonna regret throwing that rock at me!!!"

Sonic sent another murderous glare at Link.

"We're gonna teach you why you can't beat us! See these bods? Solid iron. See these spikes? Yeah, they penetrate any substance. So, basically what I'm telling you is that whatever you try will be completely useless."

"Think that over in the very short time you have left with a functional brain."

Mario's gang was slack-jawed.

"He's screwed-"

"Don't be negative Koops!"

"Oh, like you weren't?"

"No one want to hear your two cents Goombella…"

"Get yerselves ready to…BAAAAATTLE!!!"

Sonic went into a fetal position.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" shouted Link.

"Trying to think about what music to play at my funeral…maybe It Doesn't Matter or Live and Learn…but I DO like I Am All of Me…"

"That's not even your theme!"

"No wait!! Definitely Endless Possibility-"

"START FIGHTING!"

Sonic stood up. "All right, all right!"

"You can do it! You're gonna make it to major league if you win! Get psyched!" cheered Goombella.

Sonic straightened up and put on a game face. "Bring it on!"

"Yeah!" "Here we go!" "That's the spirit!" "KICK SOME A!!!"

"Kick some a?"

"I don't like swearing…"

"Wimp." "Seriously."

Goombella flipped through her tattle book and froze.

"Oh my goodness…"

"What?!"

"The twins' defense…is infinite!"

Everyone snagged the book and looked into it. Goombella said sadly, "There's no way Sonic is able to win…the only way they can even be damaged is if one hurts the other!"

"Sonic isn't strong enough to pick one up and throw it into the other!" exclaimed Koops.

"There's only one thing to do!"

"What?"

"START THROWING ROCKS LIKE NO TOMORROW!!"

"Good idea!"

The gang all heaved boulders at the twins, making them even angrier at Sonic. Sonic would get hurt either way he tried to attack, so he just stood there. The Twins rammed at him, doing 6 each. Sonic fell from the force, only with 8 HP.

"You could've at least blocked Sonic…"

Sonic shrugged. "Why? I'm not going to run this time. I'm going to stand my ground and face the music!"

"Oh, with that line again!"

The first Twin slammed into Sonic, full-force spikes first, taking out another 6. Sonic was officially doomed now.

"Prepare to be beaten for the tenth time in a row, Stinkwad!" the other one roared. Sonic shut his eyes and braced for impact. Mario's entire gang hid their faces. A loud crash, a scream, and cheers and boos were heard moments later.

--------

"I was served my monthly dose of iron in two turns!" Sonic moaned. He was now laying limp on Link's wheelchair, moaning and groaning as Mario pushed them both back to the room. "The shame!"

"The twins weren't kidding when they said that was the last few moments your brain was fully functional."

"Shut up, my brain is fine! Just not my ego…"

They returned solemnly to the room. Sonic sighed and got off the wheel chair.

"At least I have my…Where is my egg?!"

"Yo!"

Mario, Link, Sonic and Partners: O-O

Everyone looked behind them to see a small red Yoshi with a green spiky hair-do running up to them. He looked up at Sonic, who shared everyone's expressions.

"Big Blue! Check me out! Thanks to you, I hatched safe and sound! Thanks, man!" he stated.

"No problem…"

"What?!? You were in that cute little eggy-weggy? Whoa! That's wild!" Goombella gasped. Sonic suddenly dove forward and crushed the Yoshi in a hug.

"This is so awesome! I know you who are!"

"Hah?"

He held up the Yoshi proudly. "This is my Soul Partner!!"

Link nearly fell out of the chair and Mario almost stumbled forward.

"How do you know Sonic?" gaped Link.

"Why else would I want him to be safe and stay with me that whole time? It make perfect sense!" Sonic cheered excitedly. The Yoshi squirmed.

"You mean you can feel this weird feeling too? Wicked…"

"I even know where you came from! Lavalava Island! It's an island to the south, and its inhabitants are Yoshis! Maybe it wasn't a mistake I ended up there after all!"

"Holy….this is huge!" Link exclaimed. Sonic almost burst into a song and dance. However, The Yoshi got back on track.

"Yeah, but who cares!? You guys wanna be champs right? You want a Crystal Star?"

"Whoa how did you-"

"I heard all about it while I was in the egg! Yeah! Anyway, I gotta repay you for saving me from old Hoggle out there, so I'll fight for you! I can hold my own! I can swallow any opponent whole, honest! Just leave it to me!"

Sonic sighed. "I'm going to like this kid…"

Mario: What's your name?

"Huh? My name? Lessee…I just came outta that egg, so I guess I don't have a name yet. You guys seem fired up about it, so why don't you give me one? Make it cool, ok?"

Link snapped his fingers. "I got it! We'll name him…LINK!"

Mario, and just about everyone in the world: ***-_-

"All right…no Link…"

"We can't name him that because it isn't cool!"

"I've been burned enough, thank you very much…"

"how about Puni?" suggested Flurrie.

"Or just plain Yoshi?" Goombella threw out.

"Or Phil?" asked Koops.

"PHIL!?"

"What the heck!?"

"It's better than Link!"

"Hey!"

Koops blushed and grinned sheepishly. "W-well, maybe Phil or Fred or Fauntleroy or-"

"Good lord! What's next? Bob!?"

"Yeah…"

"Maybe Shadow?" Goombella suggested. "I like that one!"

"I dunno…it work better if it was a black Yoshi…"

"If only…"

"What's your guess Mario?"

Mario: Pasta!

"Pasta. Are you serious?"

"Beats Link and Phil-"

"What?!"

Sonic shushed them all. "Quiet! All those names are horrible!"

"Even Shadow?"

"Well, no, but like you said it won't work…ANYWAY He's _my_ Soul Partner, I'm the one who_ truly_ saved him, and_ I'm_ going to name him! The name has to be just as cool as me!"

Eyes were rolled. Sonic stared down at the Yoshi for a long time…then, something hit him.

"Spike." he finally said.

"What about Lakilester?" Link asked.

"No, no…I want to name the Yoshi Spike!"

"Explanation?"

"Well, his hair is spiky…and it's just a tough name!"

"I say we flip a coin between Spike and Shadow!"

"I've decided. His name shall be Spike! Are you cool with that?" Sonic asked. Spike jumped up and down.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm…Spike huh? Not too bad, dude. Not too bad at all. Yeah…I like it!"

"Can Shadow be, like, his middle name?"

"Okay, Big Blue, Gonzales, and…who are you?"

"The Missing Link!"

"Hahahahahahaha that's so _lame_!"

"Shut it."

"Let's get out there and do some damage!"

Sonic stood heroically on the bench. "My confidence has returned…let's rock and roll!"

"Or roll a rock!" suggested Link with a smirk.

"Yeah…let's get to the arena now…"

"Kill-joy!"

Sonic signed up to battle the Armored Harriers again, the condition to only let his partner attack. Hey, that was cool with him!

-------

"GET OUT OF THE WAY! INJURED INNOCENT OVER HERE!!" Link, now on crutches, shouted at all the by-passers. He collapsed with a sigh next to Mario, and the partners were screaming praise for Sonic and Spike.

"Fer our next battle, we have the fastest thing alive, your Priority One Hedgehog….the BLUE BLUR and…The Iron Adonis Twins…yep, a fight to the finish with the Armored Harriers!" bellowed Grubba.

"You think you can take me and Big Blue? Ha!" Spike mocked.

"These ultra-hard bods just can't lose!" the first twin bragged.

"Get yerselves ready to…BAAAAATTLE!"

Sonic and Spike stood their ground, ready as ever.

"Big Blue! Lemme at 'em! We're gonna take these punks this time!" Spike assured.

"Give it your best shot!"

The Twins, however, weren't impressed. "Bluh huh huh huh huh huh…Stinkwad's challenging us again. He never learns…"

Sonic smirked. "Well, we live and learn don't we?"

"Looks like he brought some new shrimpy partner…like that's gonna help him!"

Sonic snickered as Spike trotted toward the first twin. "I don't know…"

He pulled his head back.

"I did say…"

Spike's tongue shot forward.

"…That the egg was going to be…"

The first twin was swallowed hole.

"…my good luck charm!"

Spike spat the Cleft back out full force, sending him crashing into the other one.

The audience jerked back with the sight of the pain.

"That has GOT to hurt!!" Link wheezed.

Mario: *_*

"It sure looked painful…" gulped Koops.

"THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE!!!" screamed Goombella.

"I do say! What violence…" Flurrie gasped.

"YEEEEEOOOOUUUUCCCHHH! You spiked me right in the…THAT REALLY HURT! Our iron bodies and pointy nastiness are being used against us! No fair!"

"Oh, dang, bro! Has he discovered our weak points?"

Sonic started break dancing in appeal. "You'd better believe it!" He restood up, then flashed a peace sign at the crowd.

The crowd suddenly jumped and cheered with relief. No one has beaten the Adonis Twins in a long time!

"Yes!" "Way to go Blue Blur!" "You too Spike!"

Then the first Adonis rammed into the young Yoshi, but the second one felt a counter with Sonic's Super Shoed foot. Of course, it did nothing, but it still managed to keep Spike safe. Spike stuck his tongue out at the Twins, and they both trembled in fear. Sonic stood up proudly and smiled smugly.

"Who's a stinkwad now?"

Spike gulped one down, then spat it into the other. "Apparently they are!"

"I'm covered in Yoshi slobber!!!!"

Best of all, Sonic leveled up.

"All right!"

He chose FP, since he obviously was going to need it, and smirked at the two sobbing heaps of iron.

"OOoooorrgg…"

Sonic became a B-list Star! Now when anyone battles, the stage will be bigger, and awesomer!

"Do we have to go back to the minor league now bro.? I think I'm gonna be sick."

They sadly watched as the audience went insane with cheers, Mario's group the most, and Sonic and Spike on the verge of making complete fools of themselves.

"Coooooooooooongratulations! Blue Blur! With this win, you've made it to the Major Leagues! Now THAT folks, was what I call a wiiiild an' wooly fight! A diggety-dang DOOZY! Keep it up kid! You're goin'places, I can tell! Hoo-wee! C'mon now folks! Give it up! We got a new major leaguer! LET'S HEAR IT FOR HIM!"

Spike jumped up and down with excitement while Sonic raised his hand with the cheer's volume. He gave a thumbs up, winked, and said "I'm comin' for ya Rawk Hawk…look out for Sonic the Hedgehog!"

* * *

**Annnnnd thy name is Spike the Yoshi! Wow, that had to be the hardest decision ever! A lot of people wanted Shadow, but more people actually voiced that they wanted it to be the same as The Yoshter's yoshi. So, I put up a poll, asked my sister, flipped a coin, swapped the two constantly...but I decided the least I could do was give a little shout out to Of Glitz and Glory ;D**

**Next time: Now united with his Soul Partner, Sonic battles harder than ever before! MArio struggles to keepu with him, Link deals with his own problems, and to top it off mystery enters the case of "Where the heck the Crystal Star is at!"**


	31. The Start of the Mystery

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 30: The Start of the Mystery

"As soon as you're ready to fight to fight those lunkheads Mario, just tell me and I'll let you borrow Spike, okay?" Sonic told Mario before leaving to the Major Leagues.

Mario: Okay!

"I'm so totally trashed! I can only be a watcher now…" Link moaned, still on crutches. "I bet I could've kicked Mario's butt again, and Sonic's, and maybe those twins-"

"Quiet Link, no you couldn't."

"Who asked you Goombella?!"

Sonic glanced up at Mario. "You might get a chance to fight me…after all, I'm not allowed to battle until tomorrow!"

Mario and Link wished him luck as he trotted to Grubba's office. Link sighed. "Man, Sonic gets all the breaks…I got one and it was in my foot!"

Mario lightly smiled.

----

"This is incredible Spike!! We're going to the Major League, and it's all because of you!" Sonic exclaimed ecstatically.

"Aw it was nothing! Don't sweat it! Least I could do for you since you saved my life! I could be a Hot Dog in Link's stomach right now!"

Sonic chuckled as Jolene opened the door to Grubba's Office. Sonic raised an eyebrow at how fast Grubba slammed his desk drawer shut.

"Mr. Grubba…I've brought Mr. Blur, as you requested."

"Seriously, just call me Sonic!"

"Muh-Muh-Muh-Ms. Jolene! You mind yer manners, now! We KNOCK around here missy!" Grubba growled. Sonic and Spike exchanged glances.

"I apologize Mr. Grubba."

"Don't worry yer pretty lil' head about it none. Now, what'd I want again? Something' 'bout Big Blue…oh yeah!"

Sonic struck a pose as Spike started dancing with excitement. Grubba headed up to them with an over-active grin.

"Blue Blur! You ol' so-an'so! Lemme congratulate you son! Major League already huh?"

Sonic scratched the back of his head. "Um…yeah…"

"I had a feelin' you were goin' places, and DANG, I love it when I'm right! I'm counting on you son!"

Sonic just grinned while Spike put on a smug look.

"I got a special little something-something for you. Go on! Take it!"

Sonic received 30 coins!

"So, yeah, something' else that's been on my mind…yer costume ain't cool."

Sonic flipped. "What?! I don't even have a costume, except my shoes! If you want to rant about a bad costume talk to Link about it!"

Grubba held up his hands. "No big deal, son! But hey, someday, if you become champ, I'll get you a new one! Something hot pink maybe, with some frills…you'll look a sight son!"

Sonic made a face as Spike howled in laughter in the background.

"Anyway, that's something' fer another day, pard. Take a powder, OK?"

"Suuuurre…"

"Mr. Blur, please follow me, if you would," requested Jolene.

Jolene led Sonic and Spike down the hall to the Major League Locker room. They spotted Mario heading to his match with the Bob-omb Squad, and the two exchanged thumb ups. Link anxiously hurried up behind him, going as fast as he could on those crutches. Mario shook his head while pushing open the door.

-----

Sonic whistled as soon as he entered the room. "Talk about an up-grade!"

"This is the Major League Locker Room. You will use this room from this moment on."

"Sweet!" Sonic cheered. Jolene explained some more things, then quickly exited. He turned around to see what was going on, and to his surprise, it was awfully quiet.

"What's the deal? Would it kill these guys to show a little friendliness? Sheesh!" Spike snorted.

"Tell me about it."

Suddenly, the door swung open and Rawk Hawk thundered into the room.

"Studly guy, comin' through!" he roared. Sonic rolled his eyes. "Listen up, losers! I've been hearing about some rising stars tearing up the league, and one of them just got a ticket to the Major League!"

"That'd be me, Chicken-face!"

Rawk Hawk: !

He turned behind he to see a smug looking Sonic with a thumb pointed to his chest.

"It's you, isn't it? Yeah! You fit the bill, skinny!"

"Didn't I just say it was me, idiot?"

"A hedgehog named Blur…and a mustache named Gonzales! MAN! I came all that way over here for YOU?!? Harharharharharhar! What a waste of time!"

Sonic growled and stomped his foot. "You're going to be a waste of space when I'm done with you!"

Just as he went to advance, he noticed something odd about the Crystal Star on his belt. Sonic nudged Spike and pointed.

"Go check that out Spike!"

"What's your deal, Big Blue? OH! The champ's belt…"

Spike trotted up to the Crystal Star and sniffed it, poked it, and simply checked it over.

"What in the…hey! You! Get to close to the hawk and you might get RAWKED!"

Spike ignored him and glanced back to Sonic. "I'm not sure, but it definitely looks weird. I think you're right Big Blue! FAKE!"

"I thought-so!"

Rawk Hawk growled. "Hey, you think you can just smack-talk the Rawk Hawk? I DON'T THINK SO!" Spike turned around and raised an eyebrow. "You got some guts, callin' my belt a fake you shrimpy, no-belt-having WIMPS! Didn't your momma teach you any manners?"

Spike raised his arms in defense. "Whoa! Sorry, yellow dude! I didn't mean to rip on your big bad belt!"

Sonic hid a snicker at how fast Rawk's face fell.

"Stop making fun of me punk! You're alive ONLY 'cause we ain't in the ring right now! If I see you under those lights, I'll tear you apart! Remember the RAAAAAWK!!"

As he walked out, Sonic sent a dark scowl in his direction. Spike, bewildered, returned his attention to Sonic.

"Wow, I really pushed that dude's buttons huh?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, forget him! We've got a problem! Your friends' map pointed to Glitzville, right? If that dude's belt has a FAKE Crystal Star on it…then where the heck is the real one at?"

Sonic snapped his fingers. "We gotta tell Mario and Link right now!"

They quickly hurried out the door.

"Besides, I bet it's almost time for Mario to beat the Armored Harriers anyway…"

------

Meanwhile, back in the Minor League, Mario was getting ready for his next battle while Link was granted special permission to be Mario's coach (and stay in the locker room even if he wasn't a fighter). Just before he touched the terminal, the Mailbox SP in his pocket suddenly started vibrating.

"Is that your Mailbox SP going off?" Link asked. Mario nodded as he pulled it out. "Who'd you get mail from?"

"Hush Link! If you'd calm down he might tell us!" Goombella snapped.

"Well then!"

Mario clicked on the message, and Koops read it aloud.

_If you want the Crystal Star, heed my instructions._

_From X_

"Who the heck is this X dude?"

"He talks like he's the man to see about the Crystal Star!" Goombella confirmed

"Why would he want to help us out though?" Link pondered. "This whole deal seems kinda whack. Besides, isn't the Crystal Star-"

"GUYS!" Sonic shouted, kicking the door open.

"AND STAY DOWN!" shouted Spike in a fighting stance to the unconscious guard, taken out by his mad skills (after telling them they couldn't come in).

"What's up Sonic?" Link asked seriously.

"You know the Crystal Star you're looking for?"

"It's a FAKE!" Spike yelped. The entire gang gasped.

"What do you mean a fake?" Goombella demanded.

"Rawk Hawk stomped in the locker room to mock me, and Spike and I discovered the star on the belt is a fake!"

"Weird! Some X guy just sent Mario an e-mail about helping us find the Crystal Star!" exclaimed Link.

"Creepy…" Spike admitted. He then glanced up at Mario. "Hey! While I'm here, you want to take out the Adonis Twins Mario?"

Mario shrugged and nodded. Spike trotted behind Mario as he signed up for the match. His condition was to not swap partners (how simple!).

Sonic dragged Link out the door. "C'mon Link! I'd like to see Mario kick their butts TODAY!"

"Doesn't anyone have sympathy for a guy who can't walk?!"

"I gave you my sympathy in the form of a hot dog-besides, I gotta watch out for Spike!"

-----

The Adonis Twins were obviously ticked that they were sent back to the Minor League, and were ready to take their anger out on Mario. But as soon as Spike strolled onto the stage, they had second thoughts…

"Ahhhh Bro.! It's the shrimp!"

The second twin suddenly cringed and leaned forward with pain.

"I ain't fighting that monster again! It's just not worth it!!"

Spike jumped in front of them and stuck his face in theirs. "Are you serious?! You're afraid to fight a little baby Yoshi? Pathetic!"

The first Twin grunted and stood his ground while the other instantly turned heel. The first grunted and sneered at Yoshi.

"I ain't afraid of you! I'm only leaving because my brother is Stinkwad!"

Spike stuck out his tongue and went "Nah!"

Before Grubba even announced anything, they ran off screaming. Spike smirked as Mario looked on; Sonic insanely taking pictures of their crying and Link complaining that he was dragged for nothing.

"We're gonna get you ya stupid shrimp! When you least expect it!!!"

Sonic realized he ran out of memory on the camera and sighed. "Aw, that was so worth it!"

"Yeah sure…" Link pouted. Spike then jumped off the stage and started jumping up and down in front of Sonic.

"Did you see those chumps fear my awesome might!? I sent them home cryin' to their outie belly-buttoned mother!"

Sonic chuckled and patted his head. "Don't worry-I took pictures! Just don't let it go to your head!"

**The Next Day-**

"All right! I'm ready for my first Major League battle!" Sonic chuckled. Spike raised an eyebrow.

"I'm always up for fighting, but why are you so anxious?"

"…because, Mario is still one rank away from the Majors, and if I don't get up in ranks and we battle, then we'll be send back to the Minors in an endless cycle battling each other!"

Spike nodded.

"…and, if we get up a rank and then we fight, both me and Mario will be in the Majors no matter what! Besides…" he pounded a hand into his opposite palm. "…I've always wanted to fight Mario for some reason…"

Spike instantly trotted to the terminal. "Then what are we waiting for?"

He jumped up, hit the "A" button, and Sonic walked up behind him.

"…yer opponent will be…ranked 9 in the Glitz Pit, The Tiny Spinies!"

"Wow they sound so tough!"

After learning that his condition was to only let his partner attack again, Sonic sat on the bench and awaited the guard.

"So what are you going to do Mario?" Link asked said plumber while making his way down the hall. "…letting him work up the ranks a little? I guess that's logical."

"Are we going to watch him verse the Tiny Spinies?" Koops asked. Link shook his head.

"Naw…my foot's aching and it's still going to be a few days until I can walk!"

"Bummer…" input Goombella. "…well, me, Koops, and Flurrie are going anyway! See ya!"

The three partners giggled as they hurried to the arena. Mario put a hand on Link's shoulder.

"yeah, I know you wouldn't leave me."

They reentered the Minor League Locker room where all the Minors congratulated Mario on scaring the Twins off.

"Pah! Are you kidding? That was all the Yoshi!" Link scoffed.

"I thought his name was Spike…"

"I think Phil was a good name…"

"I personally liked the Pasta option myself…"

Mario looked smug as Link smacked his head. A few minutes later, Koops ran into the room looking excited. "Come on you guys! Sonic just owned those Spinies in less than a minute, and he's gotten so cocky that he declares he'll win the next match without taking a break!"

"What about Spike?"

"Shoot! Spike was doing all the trash talk!"

"Trash Talk?!" the entire room gasped. Koops nodded and waved his arm.

"Hurry! They're starting any moment now!"

Every minor leaguer but Link stormed out of the room.

"HEY MARIO! FORGET SOMETHING?!"

Mario sheepishly returned to the room, helped Link into the wheelchair, and wheeled him out at a speed Sonic would call a jog (which in normal speed language is a sprint).

------

"Whoa nelly! That little Yoshi sure does have a way with words!" Grubba gasped.

"Make sure Number 8 treats him like the garbage he's speaking!" sobbed a Spiny, crying from the massive insults.

On the side of the arena there was massive cheering for Sonic and Spike. Everyone in the Minor League plus Mario and the partners were also in on the screaming.

"I don't really see the big deal! Sonic could probably take out all the Major League at once-by himself!"

"You don't get it!" Goombella squawked, trying hard just to see. "The Shellshockers have a special ability that allows them to attack at maximum strength while they're on their backs-to ALL fighters!!"

Link's eyes widened.

"That's why they're called the Shellshockers-they shock you with their shell move!"

"No really Sherlock?"

"Shup Goombella! It's starting!"

"This is gonna be so good…" Koops squealed while stuffing his mouth with popcorn then slurping down a slushy.

"In this special run-on match, we have the fastest thing alive…your Priority One Hedgehog, the Blue Blur!"

The entire stadium shook with cheers as Sonic simply raised a hand.

"Against him, they're known as the Turtles of Hurtle, yes a fight to the finish with the Shellshockers!"

"Ha! Turtles of Hurtle? Is that the best you can do?" mocked Sonic.

"This is gonna be sweet!" cheered Spike.

The (awesome) blue of the Koopas' shells seemed to have their own shine as the leader, Shellshock, spoke. "You are defiantly going to be my priority one hedgehog! Let's get 'im!"

"Bring it on!" Sonic and Spike said simultaneously. Grubba raised a hand in the air.

"Get yerselves ready to BAAAAAAATTLE!"

The audience (aka the front row) started bouncing with excitement.

Sonic turned to Spike. "Remember, we have to finish them off before I take 20 HP worth of damage."

Spike chuckled. "Dude, that's ALL your HP! Not to mention you only have like, 12 left from the last battle!"

"Good point. We beat them before I die."

Sonic started things off with a Spin Dash to the Parakoopa, knocking it out of the sky. Spike followed up with a Ground Pound to the normal one in the back. It was instantly knocked down, and it appeared to be helpless. Shellshock and the previous Parakoopa attack normally, and just as Sonic prepared his turn, the third one made a small hop and whirled around like a mini Tornado. Sonic and Spike gasped as it suddenly launched forward and hit them both at the same time!

Koops jerked forward and spat out his slushy.

"That's why they're called Shady Koopas…" Goombella confirmed a bit shakily. "…and when that koopa stands back up, his attack will sky rocket!"

"Epic…"

Sonic's head was spinning as he struggled to get back up. "You okay Spike?"

Spike dusted himself off. "Yeah I'm fine. It's going to take a little more than that to knock me down!"

"He took 8 points away!"

"That's bad…"

Sonic, still with 4 HP, took the risk and sprang into the air and attack the one that just got up, killing it off. Spike swallowed Shellshock and spat him into the de-winged Paratroopa. That one died, and left Shellshock with only 2 HP. He flung his shell at Sonic, who was fast enough (obviously) to catch on and managed to pull off a Superguard.

"You can finish him off Spike!"

"Cool!"

Spike jumped up, fluttered all the way above Shellshock's head, then rapidly flipped-stylishly- and knocked the turtle face first onto the stage. The audience-all who could, anyway- jumped out of their seats and excitedly turned into the air.

"Ah hahahahahahahaha! How'd that floor taste?" Spike bragged.

"You're looking a little black and blue and red all over!" Sonic added, right before the blue hedgehog and red Yoshi slapped an excited high five. "I told you I could take them on without a break!"

"Urggghhh…"

"Are you going to take on another fighter?" dared Grubba. Sonic recoiled.

"Forget that! I'm outta here! C'mon Spike!"

The two winners snapped their fingers and ran into the rapid cheering, eventually followed by Mario and company.

-------

"…and then he said, "If we hit Rank 3 by Friday, we're throwing a party at the Watering Hole-on us!" Spike laughed to the others in the Lobby of the pit, since he and Sonic couldn't go in the Minor Locker Room. Mario and Spike signed a few autographs, while Sonic struck some poses for the by-standers. Link had a feeling Ms. Mowz was one of them, but she was probably clever enough to be camouflaged in the crowd.

"You're seriously going to plan a party Friday?" Koops gaped to Sonic.

"Of course! But, only if I'm in the third rank!" He suddenly pulled out a CD and twirled it on his finger. "I even have the music picked out!"

"Don't get too cocky…" Link warned. "With the way things are going now, you're bound to be struck down soon!"

Sonic folded his arms. "How come you're so grouchy lately?"

"Pouch of pout!" chuckled Goombella and Koops. Link shot them a glance.

"I've got several reasons to be grouchy…and I'm not telling you the main one…"

Sonic scratched the back of his head. "Um…okay…"

"What one are you thinking about now?" Spike innocently asked.

Link leaned back on his seat and scowled. "I won't be able to walk until **Saturday**."

"…well, that's not a problem! We can-"

"-not reschedule," Sonic sighed while shaking his head. "I signed a contract with Grubba and he's the one who'll pay for it all. Everything is official on that document-trust me, I read it. It has to be Friday."

"But that means Link can't attend the party!"

"No it doesn't! He'll just have to sit out on some stuff…besides! Who knows if I'll even make it up there in time-it IS Tuesday, and the Major Leagues aren't exactly a skip through a meadow!"

"You'll probably make it with the Yoshi…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing…well, is Mario going to beat a fool or two and get in the Majors?" Link pondered.

Everyone sweat dropped.

"…what?"

"Mario already did…you were in the bathroom!" Sonic admitted.

"Curse those Spinies…so now Mario is going to face the blue shells, and you-"

"-Aren't battling until tomorrow. I've gotta get some rest if I'm going to cream a few weaklings!"

Spike yawned. "Yeah…I've been staying up late watching battles to learn more about the Majors-but mostly just because I love the action."

Goombella nodded. "So Sonic's going to get up to Rank 3 within two days, and Mario going to do his best to catch up?"

Sonic snickered. "I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up battling each other!"

"Don't forget about the entire reason we came here darlings!" Flurrie pointed out. "That Crystal Star is still at large!"

"Not to mention that X guy…" Koops added. Sonic smirked.

"The mysteries just keep growing around here don't they?"

"…and something tells me they're far from over…" Link finished.


	32. Undercover Work

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 31: Undercover Work

Early the next morning, Mario signed up for a match at ten while Sonic planned to have one at nine. They were currently training with each other, throwing a few punches, kicks, and swings.

"I'm so fired up today! Gotta get through four ranks!" Sonic exclaimed while ducking under a hammer swing, then countering with a punch to the gut.

"Unless by chance you lose one…" Link pointed out. Sonic pushed Mario to the ground out of surprise and stared at Link.

Mario: *_'

"Sorry Mario…Why does it feel like you want me to lose Link? Is it because you're afraid you won't have enough fun at the party?"

"What? No! I'm just trying to look out for you, man! That Yoshi isn't going to keep giving you luck forever!"

Sonic held up his hands. "Whoa whoa whoa-back up! Who said anything about Spike? And why do you keep calling him "That Yoshi"? I gave him a name for a reason you know!"

"Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Why are you getting on my nerves?"

"Why are you both fighting in the first place?" Flurrie groaned.

"Why do I sense tension in the air?" Goombella mused.

"Why do we keep asking why questions?" wondered Koops.

Mario: WHY?!?!

"ENOUGH!!!!" screamed Spike, shutting everyone up. "Holy…"

The partners scratched the back of their heads while Mario just tried to look innocent. Sonic and Link had a fierce stare-down until Mario's pocket suddenly vibrated, and he pulled out his SP. Everyone forgot the previous argument to gather around.

_Go to the Watering Hole outside the Glitz Pit._

_From X_

"ooh! Little visit to the drink shop eh?" Sonic concluded. "Wonder why…"

"Only one way to find out!" Goombella hummed.

**Water Ring Hole, 8:15 am-**

"Well_ now_ what?"

The place was basically the same as before, with no noticeable changes...except the pretty mystery woman was gone and Dupree had taken her spot. He winked at Goombella who just gagged. Just as they turned to leave, the shop owner suddenly recognized them.

"Oh! You're Mr. Gonzales…and the retired Missing Link?"

Link put up his foot. "You could say I was "defeated"…"

"Yeah, that's the mustache and the pointy ears I've been waiting for!"

"Really?"

"actually you're pretty late…Somebody left a package and a note by the door a bit ago…The letter said: "look for a thick-'stached man named Gonzales and a pointed eared elf known as Missing Link. Give them these."

He handed Mario his Super Hammer, and gave Link the Super Sword.

"Aw yes! If only I was able to be in the ring…I could wipe everyone out with Jab!" Link complained.

"Yep! And Mario can own giant yellow mean-looking blocks!" added Sonic.

Mario: Oh yeah!

"So far's I could tell, that's a HAMMAWHACK 2005 and a Wind Slicer…but I don't know much about that. But that's a real nice hammer all around. Solid craftsmanship, good grip, high bonkability. They aren't cheap either. Whoever gave you these must be a huge fan!"

"-and that's saying something since Link did squat!" sneered Goombella, getting light laughter in response. Link sighed.

"I'm beginning to know how Goombario feels…"

"But…why leave it in this juice shop? Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd? I mean, it's not like its too hard to hand a gift to a pro fighter…"

"…and a "defeated" one…"

"Quiet…"

Mario suddenly started shaking again.

"Mario! ANOTHER e-mail!" gasped Goombella.

"This X dude must be a stalker or something…" Spike huffed.

_Smash the blockade in the minor league locker room._

_From X_

"Ooh…you just got out of the minor leagues Mario!" Koops groaned. "Link is allowed in there, but he can't walk to save his life or be able to swing the hammer!"

"Thank you for pointing that out Kooper…"

Koops scowled. Spike then got an evil look and punched his fist into his palm.

"I can get us in there…"

There was a brief cracking of knuckles before they left.

**Minor League Locker Room Door, 8:36 am-**

"Did you _really_ need to knock the guard out?"

"It's super effective!"

Mario cautiously pushed the door open, spotting the giant block on the left side of the room. Pulling out his new Super Hammer, he practically twisted himself up like paper and swung the hammer into the side of the block, smashing it on contact. Everyone gasped.

"That is one awesome hammer!"

"I'm afraid to see what an Ultra Hammer can do…"

As the dust cleared, it revealed there was a secret room behind the blockade. Sonic whistled as he stepped inside.

"Dang…its feels ancient in here!"

"hey…what's that up there?" Koops pointed out. Everyone looked up to see a Dubious Paper on top of a shelf. Mario instantly climbed onto the desk that held an old, broken computer, then climbed up as high as he could go.

"Now how do you get across the gap? You're not the world's greatest jumper…" Sonic pointed out. Mario made a blank face, thinking of Luigi.

"I can help him!" Spike chirped, jumping next to Mario. "Hop on-oomph! MAN you need to lay off the pasta!"

"you can run, you can talk trash…what's next? Can you fly?" Link murmured.

Mario chuckled nervously. Spike grunted, then managed to get himself upright.

"Behold!" he shouted, before taking off. "I can fly!"

He somehow managed to fly Mario all the way across the gap, then landed on the other side with a thud. Link face palmed. Everyone else clapped their hands.

Mario: Okay…

He picked up the paper and read the contents. Spike snuck a peek and gasped.

"Whoa! Gonzales! Big Blue! That's some kind of scientific paper on the Crystal Stars! Who'd be investigating those things besides us? They even took pictures!"

Sonic snagged the paper, eyes widening with each word. "More importantly, why is it in a random storage room-sealed off?"

Spike nodded. "Exactly! Who'd leave something like this lying around? This just REEKS of funny business!"

Sonic then glanced at a clock in the corner. "Oh MAN! It's almost time for my bout! We gotta juice!"

The pack eagerly exited the room, but somehow, Jolene managed to bust them. Sonic froze in midar.

"How did she…"

"You again! Mr. Gonzales and Mr. Blur, what are you doing in here? This is the Minor League Locker room. Major league athletes are forbidden."

"But the guard let us in!" Spike input.

"The guard was unconscious."

"…is that a necessary factor?"

"Even if they were, it's hardly appropriate to bash down our walls, hm?"

"But it was awesome…"

Just as they were about to make a break for it, Jolene strode up to them and tore the paper away from Sonic.

"I'll just be confiscating THIS, thank you very much!"

With that, she was gone without a word.

"Dang what's with her! We busted our humps getting that information!" Spike grunted. "some people just gotta rain on parades…"

Sonic briefly glanced at Link. "Tell me about it…"

**Arena, 9:00 am-**

"In this corner, we have the fastest thing alive, your Priority One Hedgehog, the Blue Blur and…The Ultimate Fight Weapons…yep a fight to the finish with the Poker Faces!"

"Lemme at 'em! Yeah, bring it!"

"You're going to have to…I'm not allowed to attack!" Sonic turned to the audience. "Any one going to throw me a POW Block?"

A random person suddenly tossed said block into Sonic's hands. Link would've bet 100 coins it was that mouse…

Sonic handed the block to Spike, who used it to defeat the Poker Face in one hit!

"How did they make it to the Majors…" sighed Sonic.

"Yeah, I bet _King K_ could've beat them!" Spike dissed.

**Sonic's Rank Rose to 7!**

Just as the two were about to head off, an unexpected cry rang out.

"BLUUUUUUE BLURRRRRRRR!!"

The Adonis Twins suddenly came stomping on stage, still mad about their loss (and their cowardice). Sonic folded his arms and smirked.

"Well well! Come back for Round Two?"

Spike grinned. "Looks like another double battle for us!"

"Whoa, nelly! I don't believe my eyes folks!" Grubba gaped. "The Iron Adonis Twins are in a rage!"

The red booted one glared at Spike. "You made us look like suckers the other day, and now you're gonna pay for it!"

Sonic yawned. "Yeah, sure, okay…we **still** know your weakness, and we're **still** going to use it against you!"

"Awww…you yawned! A little tired from your match Big Stinkwad?"

Spike started cracking up. "You call that little flip-out a MATCH? That's almost insulting!"

"I yawned because this battle won't even be interesting!"

"Prepare for pain!"

"I hope you're talking about yourselves!"

Goombella whistled. "Are they a duo or what?"

Link grunted. "They sure are…"

"I bet somebody's jealous-"

"WHAT?!"

The entire stadium got quiet. Link turned red and told everyone to focus on the match. Goombella tried to look smug, but this epic failed when she started laughing.

"You ARE! I knew that was why you were being a jerk!"

"Well…hey, I'm not a jerk!"

"Yeah, all right…"

"Sonic's the jerk! Ever since he found his Soul Partner, I've been scrapped to the side!"

"Hehe…scrapped…"

"You're not helping!" Link's anger quickly melted. "I finally find one of my friends, and I'm still alone…"

"Sorry…well, according to what he said, he had to go your last adventure soul partner less! If I were him, I'd be all buzzed about it too! Not to mention Spike's just a baby-but his personality's so extreme I'd almost want to call him a regular kid!"

Speaking of that Yoshi, he was just finishing off the Harriers by swallowing one, slamming it into the other, then dancing around and striking a pose.

"Bluuuuuuuuuuurg…We lost, after all that…we reek."

Sonic flashed a peace sign. "You'd better believe it!"

"Ahahahahahahaha! How's that floor taste?" Spike mocked. The green booted one grunted.

"I'll show ya how it tasted!"

He started to charge at Spike, but security showed up at the last moment and dragged the twins away. Sonic and Spike simply waved good-bye. Grubba shook his head at the disbelief in it all.

"Hoooooooo-WEEEEEEE!! That's our Big Blue, friends and neighbors! Kid don't even blink when the Iron Adonis Twins barge in and attack! Woo! Tough! He's too dang tough! Yeah, this kid is bound for bigger things folks! Until next time everyone…see ya!"

**Major League Room, 9: 56 am-**

"Man that was so awesome Spike! They just totally walked up and ASKED for a butt-kicking!" Goombella praised.

"Yeah, you literally ate them and spit them out!" Koops added.

"Quite a marvelous display, I do say…" finished Flurrie. Spike just sighed and stared at his hand.

"I guess I was just _born_ to fight!"

They all chuckled at his joke until Mario's Mailbox went off again.

"Ugh, is it that X again?" Link groaned.

"Hey, that guy's helping get the Crystal Star!" Sonic defended.

"Let's try neither…" Koops gulped, scanning the message.

_Keep sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, and you are D-E-A-D M-E-A-T!_

"Man THAT dude sounds peeved! I'm thinking that isn't our X buddy. Who do you think would send something like that?" Spike mused.

"Don't know…we'll think it over after Mario's match!" Flurrie stated, hurrying behind Mario.

**Back at the Arena after the Grubba Speech in a Match against the Shellshockers-**

"No Mario! That is simply the coward's way!" Flurrie fumed.

Mario: I'm not allowed to attack!

"Well I don't want to just BLOW them away!"

Mario: We're doomed then…"

"FINE! But take all the fun out of fighting!"

Flurrie inhaled, then exhaled, blowing all but Shellshock away.

"There Mario you see? Karma!"

Mario: '-'

"Ha! You seriously thought you'd win the easy way? Knock me down-I DARE you!"

Mario used a Power Punch on Flurrie, and Shellshock spun into Mario. Flurrie then flew into the air and slammed into the Koopa, sending him to the floor. Mario meekly appealed.

"Aw yeah baby! Get ready to be SHAWKED!"

Everyone in the audience sweat dropped.

"he just totally copied Rawk Hawk…"

"But you gotta admit-it WAS kinda clever!"

"true, true…"

Shellshock lived up to his name and started rapidly twirling on the floor. In a flash, he slid across the floor and rammed into Flurrie, but Mario managed to guard and take less damage. Flurrie was so mad she didn't even wait for Shellshock's turn to get over and just Body Slammed him into next week.

"No one should treat a lady like that!" she hissed.

"Dude-this is wrestling! Get used to it!"

**Mario's rank rose to 8 or 9!**

**Major League Locker Room, 4:17 pm-**

Sonic soundly slept, deserving his good rest. He was going to need it, because he planned to get up into rank 6, then use Thursday to beat 5th, 4th, and 3rd, but whoever was in 6th was rumored to be a challenge. Link had gone to the infirmary to get his foot checked-and he would definitely be able to walk by Saturday. Maybe late Friday. Excited with the news, he eagerly wheeled himself back to the Major Leagues. Mario used the last few hours to do a bit of shopping, made a quick visit back to Rogueport, and got another Plumber's Muck. Just as he returned to the room, Sonic was waking up, and Link was spewing out that he might be able to have fun at the party after all.

"That's awesome Link! For a second, I thought you were going to live up to your name and be missing!" Sonic chuckled. Mario celebrated by handing him a Super Shroom.

"Sweet! If everything goes according to plan, then we'll _definitely_ be in rank 3 by Friday!" Spike cheered. Link still hummed.

"I don't know…I heard the Magikoopa Masters are a bit of a handful!"

Sonic scoffed, "Are you still doubting my skill?"

"No-I'm _just_ trying to warn you…"

Sonic yawned, then got out of the bed. "Well, speaking of, I'd better get my next battle up and running!"

He headed over to the Terminal, found out he was up against The Fuzz (how original), and awaited the guard.

"This should be pretty simple. I just can't use items!" Sonic thought. "…and The Fuzz obviously must be Fuzzies…"

The escort whooshed open the door, and led Sonic and Spike to the arena.

"WE'LL SUCK UP YOUR SOULS!!!" the normal Fuzzy shrieked. Sonic and Spike exchanged looks.

"Get yerselves ready to BAAAAAAAATTLE!!"

Sonic punched the air a few times. "Okay, let's do this!"

He jumped up, spun into a ball, and performed his Action Chain 3 times on each Fuzzy. The black one was Koed, the green was left 2, and the pink was left with 3. Spike glanced up at Sonic.

"Should I take 'em out now or make it interesting?"

"Aw, make it interesting!"

Spike nodded and fluttered into the air, then Ground Pounded the pink fuzzy. The green started rolling in place, eventually making a copy of itself. Sonic gave a curious look to Spike.

"You knew it could make copies didn't you?"

Spike shrugged. "I might have been talking to Goombella…"

Sonic discounted it and Spin Dashed the original fuzzy, then Spike did a Stylish Ground Pound on the copy.

"We have a winner! The Bluuuuuue Blur!"

"Too easy! Piece of cake!"

"We own like no tomorrow!"

Sonic waved as he walked off the stage. "I almost want to fight one more, but I don't want to go too fast!"

"You? Too fast? Ha!"

"…"

**Major League Room, Time not important-**

Sonic stretched and layed down on the non-broken bench. "Yep, I'm done fighting for the day. Gotta save up all my magic for tomorrow!"

Eyes were rolled, but no one was going to jinx him. Suddenly, the Koopinator spoke up.

"Hey. You. Big Blue."

"What's up?"

He motioned toward a piece of vanilla cake, dripping with frosting and a strawberry on top. Link's mouth started watering at the sight.

"Jolene brought a piece of cake for you. From a fan, I guess."

Link's face fell as Sonic slid up to it, rubbing his hands.

"What do ya know-it WAS a piece of cake!"

Sonic broke it in half, ate one for himself as he gave the other half to Spike. Spike gulped it down and started bouncing off the walls.

"num! Num! Num!"

"I wish Mario could get a slice…" Koops sighed. Just then, Jolene reentered and handed a piece of cake to Mario. Mario thanked her and divided it up among the partners, and gave Link the strawberry.

"Wishes DO come true!"

"This is the best cake ever!!!"

"I feel so recharged!"

Sonic jumped up and punched the air. "With the way things are now, there's no way I can lose!"

* * *

**Next Time: Team Mario goes up against Team Bowser, who show up for an unexpected visit...and then it all ends on a "high" note! (You'll understand when you read).**


	33. Team Mario vs Team Bowser!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 32: Team Mario vs. Team Bowser!

**Thursday, Major League Room-**

"All right! Time for a battle!" Sonic said first thing next day. "Let's see…"

He was up against the Magikoopa Masters, and he wasn't allowed to use his Action Chain.

"That's not cool…"

Link saluted him on his way out. He was going to need as much luck at possible at this point.

-----

"In this next exciting battle, we have the fastest thing alive, your Priority One hedgehog, the Blue Blur against…The Underworld Servants…yes a fight to the finish with the Magikoopa Masters!"

"Give it your best shot!"

"You seriously think you can beat me and Big Blue?"

"Get yerselves ready to BAAAAATTLE!"

Sonic did some warm-up stretches while thinking of a strategy. "Okay…I can't use my Action Chain, but I can still use Whirlwind!"

He suddenly ran up to the "Masters", then rapidly ran around them creating a giant wind funnel. After the fifth time going around them, he jumped up, kicked the Green Magikoopa off its broom and bounced back next to Spike. Red had 3 HP, White had 2, and the Green was only left with one thanks to the extra kick. Spike let out a battle cry.

"That was extreme dude!"

"Extreme is my middle name!"

"I thought "the" was your middle name?"

Sonic shrugged. Spike Ground Pounded the red Magikoopa, giving it a KO. He waved his arms and smiled to look cute as Sonic shouted:

"STYLISH!"

Outraged, the White magician muttered a spell and healed up his team. Sonic and Spike both made a face. The red one blasted magic at Sonic, but he easily guarded it. The Green casted a spell that made him dodgy. Sonic sent Spike to gulp the red, which left both red and white with 1 HP, while he used a Spin Dash on the remaining opponent. Due to its new dodgy nature, he missed.

"Aw man…"

Red blasted, White healed, and Green also attacked.

"If they keep healing, we're in for an infinite battle…"

"Let's get rid of that white one! It seems to be the healer!"

"Good point…"

Sonic curled up and threw himself at the target, Spike following up with Ground Pound. Finally one koopa short, both Red and Green heaved their magic at the duo. Spike strode up and gulped Red, spitting him into Green. Sonic really wished he could use Action Chain while Spin Dashing Green. Now it was just them and Red. Not really thinking, Red lashed out with another attack, and the two quickly put an end to him.

"Whew…Link wasn't kidding!" Sonic panted. "Makes me think we're really in for it the rest of the tournament…"

Link nudged Mario in the audience. "I _told_ him!"

Mario nodded, then glanced at the stage as his face broke into pure shock.

"MAAAAAARRRRIOOOOO!" "SONIC!" "LINK!"

Mario instantly sprang onto the stage with an fighting stance. Sonic was also in a fighting stance, but with a look of shock on his face. Link managed to use his crutches to climb on stage. "What's the matter you…two…"

Bowser, Eggman, and Ganondorf tore through the stands, thundering onto the stage. Link went slack jawed.

"Whoa! Another fighter's stormin' in, screamin' his fool head off about something! Gonzales, Big Blue, and Missin' sure do have a lot of foes…some that don't even know their names!"

"How did _Ganondorf_ end up here!?"

"Same with Eggman-what's he doing with Bowser?!"

Ganondorf smirked. "What's wrong? Why should **you** be the only ones that get to go on inter-dimensional adventures?"

"Yeah! Maybe we were tired of our own worlds as well!" Eggman cackled. Link and Sonic scowled.

Bowser snapped his fingers and looked smug. "Word on the street was that some mustachioed doofus, a cocky blue rat, and a broken garden gnome were in Glitz Ville…and lookie here! Talk about perfect timing! Now all these folks get to watch us murderize you!"

"This will be over quickly…the mighty hero of time can beat me endlessly but breaks a bone in a wrestling arena? Pathetic!" Ganondorf sneered. Link pulled out his sword nevertheless, but really couldn't fight on crutches. Flurrie quickly floated up to him with his wheelchair to make mobility easier.

"There you go! Teach these filthy idiots a thing or two!" Flurrie ordered.

"It's going to be weird fighting in a chair…"

Ganondorf started laughing hysterically as Eggman suddenly called forth a robo-walker thing. He quickly climbed into it and took the controls.

"What's the matter Eggman? Too weak to fight for yourself?" Sonic snorted. Eggman pounded a fist onto the dash board.

"That's it! I'm going to blow you up and show you that I'm only to be known as Doctor Ivo Robotnik and nothing less! Do you hear me? I-"

"Blah blah blah: how can we** NOT** hear you?! Bring it on already!"

Bowser balled up his fists and chortled. "Gra ha ha ha haha! We are gonna DESTROY you! And we have witnesses!"

Mario made some intense hand motions.

"Okay…Mario says its best if we each take on our own villain, obviously because we know the most about them!" Link translated.

"Okay lessee…Bowser has 30 HP, Eggman has 15 HP-" Goombella began, reading in her book. Sonic burst out laughing. "-without a robot. With a robot, he has 35-" "Oh…" "-and Ganondorf has…45?!?!"

"Oh come on! Give the guy in the wheelchair the tough dark overlord!" Link whined.

"Do you want me to swap villains with you?" Sonic sighed.

"Uh, YEAH!"

"Hurry up already!" shouted Eggman.

"Yeah! Were on a tight schedule, and were currently late for beating you, finding my beloved Peach, and Bingo!" Bowser roared.

Entire stadium: Gets quiet.

Mario: OMG

"I'm not sure what was worse- beloved Peach or bingo…" Koops stated after a long silence.

"Who do you think we are?! Old men!?! Sure, Egg-head over there might be fifty-something, but I can't help being constantly reborn!" Ganondorf roared.

"Who are _you_ calling old!?"

"That mustache tells all! It needed a few decades to get that long!"

"Argh, SHUT UP!" shouted Spike, Ground Pounding Ganondorf. Eggman snickered.

"Ha! You got owned by a baby dinosaur-"

The Egg-Walker suddenly staggered backward from the force of Koops slamming his shell into a leg.

"Ha. You got owned by a turtle!" Ganondorf mocked. Eggman didn't reply.

"What kind of villains are you?! So immature…" Bowser scoffed. He turned to Mario. "Betcha can't beat me Mario! Nah nah na nah na!"

Mario: Uses Power Bounce successfully 30 times.

"WHAT!? Nooo! I didn't even get a chance to attack!" Bowser howled.

"Ha! You got owned by a plumber!" heckled all members of Team Mario.

Mario: Strikes a smug pose.

"Grr…you may have beaten me in one move, but I can assure you my new lackeys will finish you off!"

"Lackeys?!"

"Insulting…"

Link rolled up and performed a jab on Eggman, leaving his HP at 26. Eggman slammed a few buttons on the dash board, launching a missile at Link and Koops. Link spun around in the wheelchair to counter, while Koops ended up getting knocked down by it.

"Way to fall, Kooper…"

Koops muttered something nasty. Goombella sighed and kicked him out of the battle.

"I got your back Link!"

"Aw, is the mushroom going to help you?"

Goombella's pupils shrunk as she jumped onto the Egg-Walker.

"You don't like being called an Eggman? Well I don't like being called a mushroom! You don't know what it's like being referred to food everyday!"

"Uh, yes I do-"

"QUIET! This is my sob story!!! My IQ may be 78 points lower than yours, but I can still dismantle this robot no problem!!"

Eggman flat-out laughed. Goombella raised an eyebrow before jumping off, walking around back, and hitting the off-switch. The machine collapsed within the same moment, knocking Eggman out of protection.

"Now you're down to a weak 15 HP, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"Don't you only have 15 HP too?"

"Not the time Link…"

Eggman managed to get up, not too harmed. "Oh hohohohohoho!! You'd think I'm done for, wouldn't you…think fast!"

In an instant, he whisked two discs out from behind his back and trapped Link and Goombella in them. They quickly shrunk to make sure they didn't escape.

"**_Idiot!_** You should have used them on-oh, I don't know…Mario and Sonic?!" Bowser growled. "Seriously-what was the point of trapping a guy in a wheelchair and a nerdy-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY MUSHROOM!!"

Bowser yawned. "If only you were the good kind of Goomba…you know, the ones that fight on my side!"

"W-well…I needed to prove my dominance to them!" Eggman defended.

"What dominance?" Sonic snickered from his side of the arena, kicking serious butt with Spike.

"Go Sonic!" Link randomly cheered.

Ganondorf had an outrageous defense of 3, and it kept his HP pretty high. With a grunt, he charged up some dark magic in his hand and punched Spike across the face.

The crowd cringed.

"Ooh, what a blow there folks!" Grubba announced.

Sonic's eyes widened. "You okay Spike!?"

Spike rubbed his nose. "I don't know!"

Sonic growled and threw himself at Ganondorf. "Don't think you'll get away with that!"

For the next 30 seconds, it was a clash of purple flames, blue blurs, fists, feet, and the occasional bite.

"I'm not going to be beaten by the likes of YOU!" Ganondorf growled, grabbing Sonic in a choke and raising him higher.

"Why does everything bad happen to _me_?" Sonic managed to gasp out. "I'm a good guy! I've never done anything bad…"

"Let go of him, Lunkhead!" Spike shouted, flying into the area and giving Ganondorf a taste of his own medicine with a kick to the nose. He instantly let go of Sonic who was caught by Mario. Sonic quickly returned on his feet and grabbed Spike.

"Take this!"

"Do it Sonic!"

He chucked Spike at Ganondorf; like a little living cannonball flying into the Dark Lord's stomach. Ganondorf fell down with a earthquake of a thud.

"Quick! While they're down! What do we do?" Sonic asked seriously. Mario pulled out the Diamond Star with a sly look. "…you sure do love Earth Tremor…"

Mario nodded.

"Nevertheless! Let's finish them off!"

"Link! What are you doing?" Goombella questioned, lying helpless on the floor with Link and Koops.

"Trying to gnaw out of this ring…apparently I'm not worthy enough to be saved…"

"Well they gotta take care of those villains!"

"Don't worry Link-no one's flipped _me_ back over yet!" Koops tried to assure. Link continued to chew, wishing it was Saturday. Just then, Mario and Sonic jumped on the Diamond Crystal Star, and stood in fierce poses while the star itself gathered power. All three bad guys gasped.

"They have a Crystal Star!?" Eggman gaped.

"Worse-they have two!!" Ganondorf huffed.

"Well don't just stand there! Get them!" Bowser ordered. They reluctantly nodded and charged at the two.

"Now Mario!"

The Crystal Star jumped a few feet off the stage, coming back down with a massive tremor. Ganondorf and Eggman were knocked down. The star continued to make quakes in the ground, bouncing poor Link, Goombella, and Koops everywhere.

"What-ow-is-ow-going-ow-ON?!"

"We're in the middle of Earth tremor!"

"Great!"

The tremors got bigger, literally sending Koops into a wall and Ganondorf into Bowser who was gripping what was left of the Egg-Walker. Finally, the shaking stopped and Mario and Sonic jumped off the star.

"That was just **one** Crystal Star!" Eggman wheezed, defeated. "Think of all seven! Equivalent to the Chaos Emeralds and Tri-Force!"

Ganondorf pushed himself off of Bowser. "I'm not going down yet! I'll-"

He was conked in the back of the head with Link's boot.

"That's for making fun of my cast! And I was thinking about letting you sign it…" Link chuckled smugly, glad that his one arm was free.

"Way to go Link!" Sonic celebrated, slapping him a high-five after breaking him free. "Now THAT was a boot to the head!"

"You totally stole my joke…"

"It wasn't even a good one-don't worry about it!" Goombella scoffed as Mario freed her. Earth Tremor managed to crack the rings, so they were easier to break. Out of plain exhaustion, the three evil doers collapsed onto the stage.

"Oh yeah! We all leveled up!" cheered Link, eagerly taking HP. Sonic also took HP, and Mario chose FP.

Grubba just blinked. "Hoo! That's our boys! They don't even bat an eye when some nuts ambush them! Tough! Yer too tough! And yer only gonna get tougher! Stay tuned folks! Until next time everyone…see ya!"

Eggman painfully got up and told Bowser to drag an unconscious Ganondorf out the door. They just groaned in defeat- that groan meant they all agreed that fighting the three of them was a pretty stupid idea.

Mario and Sonic wondered what they exactly wanted to accomplish while pushing Link back to the Major League room.

-------

"That was so weird! It seemed like they knew more about the Crystal Stars than we did!" Link exclaimed to Sonic, just as Mario was returning from his match with the Poker Faces.

"Makes me wonder where they're headed now…" Sonic agreed.

"That…kinda freaks me out…" Koops admitted.

Sonic stretched a bit, then headed to the Terminal. "After this match, I'm getting a Chili Dog!"

He registered his match, found he was up against Number 4 Craw Daddy, and his condition was to avoid using Whirlwind.

"Aw jeez! Another move disability? Man…"

Sonic didn't have to wait long as the escort came right on cue. Link turned to Mario as they left to go watch.

"How come you're letting Sonic get so ahead? I mean, you could catch up to him easily…"

Mario shrugged.

"What do you mean you don't feel like fighting?! I will force you to fight if I have to!"

Mario twitched his mustache.

"…you feel like he's going to lose a match too? Yes I'm not alone! But…" he then sighed. "…it might really do a blow to his ego…"

------

"Foolish mortal…I will drag you through the gate to the netherworld!"

"_You're_ a pleasant fellow…"

"Get yerselves ready to BAAAAATTLE!!"

"This guy looks serious…" concluded Spike.

"yeah he does…he has a spear for crying out loud! I can't spin dash him, you can't ground pound-"

"But I can Gulp!"

"Do we have the FP?"

"I think so…"

"But he's got 20 HP!"

Spike took a moment to think. "…use a Power Punch on me, then I'll Gulp him with extreme damage! Then throw in a Syrup or some attack item when needed."

Sonic stuck up his nose. "I'm beginning to hate these battles. I feel like you're the only one that can attack!"

"That's the way the cookie crumbles!"

"I hope the cookie is Craw Daddy…"

Sonic pulled out the Power Punch and used it on Spike, making him grow 3 times his size. Spike stomped up to a slightly shaking Craw Daddy, gulped him up and spat him back out with massive damage. Craw Daddy shook it off and heaved a spear at Spike's head.

"OW! Who throws spears?! That's not right!"

Sonic pulled out a Thunder Bolt. "Now I'm glad I bought these!"

"This'll be a shocker!" Link cackled. "It outta give that crow a jolt!"

"Do people pay to tell jokes? Because it doesn't seem like enough…"

Link made a face as the hedgehog used the item on Craw Daddy, taking away five and leaving his HP at 13.

"See Big Blue? We'll have this creep gone in no time!" Spike assured, marching in and dishing out more damage with another gulp. Craw Daddy gripped his spear, ran in place, and charged at Sonic, leaving him with 17 HP. Sonic used another Bolt and Spike used his last turn being large and the last of the FP to Gulp.

"Fools! I've still got 3 HP left!"

"Uh…that's bad…"

"For him at least!"

Craw Daddy went mad throwing spears at Sonic, who was barely dodging the unexpected projectiles. When their turn came around again, they were out of Bolts, Punches, had no syrup whatsoever, and neither one could attack.

"What do we do now…" Spike mused.

Sonic had his arms folded while tapping his foot. "I'm trying to think…"

"Well think faster!! If we don't attack soon, or find some way to attack, we're going to get disqualified!"

"I know! We just gotta keep it together…"

Spike kicked the ground. "Looks like our wins are catching up to us…"

Koops frantically dug around in the pocket in his hoodie. "C'mon! Doesn't anyone have an item?!"

"I have a rock!" Link stated.

"Well chuck it at the crow guy!"

"But it'll only damage him once!"

"It's better than nothing!"

Link sighed and threw the rock at Craw Daddy's head, sending him down to two HP.

"We need more rocks!"

"We needs more time!"

"But they need to do something!"

"SONIC! SING! SING FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"

Mario: Strums a guitar dramatically

Sonic looked around nervously then stepped forward. "Uh…how about we all listen to me sing a song before we finish this up huh?"

Grubba's jaw dropped. "What is that boy doin'?!"

A microphone suddenly slid onto the stage and Sonic grabbed it.

"Ooooooooooo…I wanna rock! _Literally!_ I want a rock! Because I can't win this match…without a rock or_ twoooooooo_!!"

Spike cringed and turned to the audience where the partners and Mario were frantically asking everyone if they had a rock. Goombella was talking to Shy Guys, who usually had some, but they were fresh out as of yesterday. Koops tried to convince some Dry Bones to hand over a bone, but they refused so he just randomly snatched one's arm and threw it at Craw Daddy.

"He's only got one more heart…" Sonic continued to sing, sweat dropping from all the unwanted attention. "Oh yeah…please please help me…beat the bird! Oh whoa…"

Spike ran to the edge of the stage and asked Link what was going on.

"Everyone has nothing to throw, and the Dry Bones ran off after Kooper disarmed one of them…"

"Now's not the time to get my name wrong!!"

Spike frowned and started at poor Sonic still singing his heart out. "Hold the note Sonic!"

"Hurryyyyyyyy-eeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Grubba, and probably the entire arena plugged their ears. "Good pickles, son, GET ON WITH IT!!!"

"What are we gonna do?!" sobbed Koops. Goombella frantically searched in her book for something.

"Oh…I don't know…but Sonic's turn has to end soon, and then it's all up to Spike!!"

"I'm am NOT singing!" Spike instantly spat, worriedly trying to think of a plan. While thinking, some hidden Yoshi instinct came in and he suddenly turned into an egg!

The audience gasped.

"Whoa! How did he do that?!" Link guffawed.

"All Yoshis can somehow roll around in a egg, but it takes a lot of skill and focus to pull off!" Goombella explained.

"But how did Spike manage to pull it off then?" Flurrie asked. Goombella shrugged.

"Just adds on to his amazing surprises I guess…"

"You can stop singing now Sonic!!"

"-EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee………"

Sonic collapsed off the stage as Spike rocked back and forth in the egg, then spiraling into Craw Daddy. Craw Daddy was knocked down by the force and strength, instantly getting Koed.

"In a weird battle, it looks like the Blue Blur has his partner to thank for this battle!" Grubba announced as the cheers flew up.

Sonic couldn't thank Spike because he was unconscious.

* * *

**Odd ending, but I think this was one of three chapters I had writer's block with...huh... anyway, we're close to 200 reviews already! YAY! I just...wow. I can't believe it! You guys rock! (And I always say it, but that just means I truly mean it!) ;D**

**Next time- More investigating of the Pit commences, and Sonic starts to see the down side of too many fights...**


	34. The Pit Gets Deeper

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 33: The Pit Gets Deeper

Mario had rushed back to Rogueport, and through a few channels, managed to get a Honey Candy to help Sonic's throat.

"Seriously, singing?! THAT was the best you guys could come up with?" he growled angrily and a bit raspy once he could talk again. "You know I can only sing when I want to-not in the middle of a freakin' battle!"

"It was short notice!" Link defended. "I wasn't thinking!"

"When DO you think?" snickered Goombella. Link shot her a look. "I'm kidding…sheesh! Can't take a joke…"

"-or **MAKE** a joke!"

Link grunted and pounded the arm of his wheelchair. "As soon as I get out of this wheelchair, I promise you…REVENGE!"

Sonic rolled his eyes. "PLEASE don't pull another "Shadow quote" on us..."

"Well what are you going to do now Sonic? You gave yourself a bit of beating!" Flurrie wondered, changing the subject..

"Meh, I'm just going to cool down a bit with the fighting-"

"But it's Thursday afternoon! If we don't get rank 3 today, there'll be no party!" Spike exclaimed. Sonic placed a hand on his head.

"I'll have my fight later…but I really need to chill for an hour or two, especially after that 'singing'..."

Link chuckled nervously while nodding to Mario. "Heh, yeah...um, now Mario can squeeze in a few fights! Right?"

Mario: Oh yeah!

His pocket started beeping, and a few groans were let loose. Mario pulled out the Mailbox SP and read his e-mail.

_Go to the telephone booth out on the pavilion._

_From X_

"So we're making a phone call? Let's order Pizza Hut while we're at it!" Sonic cheered. "I have a friend who works there!"

"We don't know what we're doing…but let's get this over with…" Link sighed. This time, he place his cast foot on a roller skate and pushed off with the other. "This is so much easier, but it hurts my other leg!"

Sonic helped him out the door. "Don't worry buddy- just one more day…"

Link smiled and everyone rolled (in more ways than one) out the door. Unfortunately, this was the wrong time, because Rawk Hawk lingered outside of the door. Sonic felt a jolt go up his spine while everyone else had a stare down with him.

"Big Blue!" he barked. "Good timing you pudgy little punk. Uncle Rawk Hawk's got some advice for ya."

"What? To quit winning all my battles so I don't get the honor of owning you?"

"Oh BURN!"

Rawk narrowed his eyes and jabbed a finger into Sonic' chest. "If you keep stealing the spotlight from me, you're gonna enter a world of hurt! Quit makin' such a splash if you value your puny life! Harharharharharharhar!"

Luckily everyone had already grabbed Sonic before Rawk Hawk had even said anything.

"Who does that guy think he is, threatening us?" Spike huffed. "But wait…maybe that hate mail came from him!"

"_I'm_ going give him hate mail, that's for sure…"

"THIS way Sonic…" "Easy…easy…" "Mama mia..."

**Telephone Booth Several Minutes later…**

"MUST you be so stubborn?!"

"Trust me, Knuckles may be gullible for Eggman, but when you try to get him back on the good side, you might as well give up. You should be lucky you don't have to deal with that."

"Hey! A key!"

"I wonder what for…"

"Three…two…one-"

_Ding ding da ding da ding…_

Mario simultaneously whipped out the SP and read the contents.

_Go to the storage room next to Grubba's office._

_From X_

"All right! Secret storage room!!"

"This guy is cheesing me off…"

"Hehehe "cheesing"…"

"What?"

Sonic waved his hand in the air. "Hey! Can I teleport us? I need the practice!"

Link shrugged. "I'd do it, but I can't…"

"You're on a roller skate anyway…"

Everyone got close to Sonic, and Sonic snapped his fingers.

**Area around Storage room Door-**

They all reappeared in the hall, slightly dazed.

"How do you **do** that?!"

"Sorry-classified information." Sonic replied.

"Yeah, you kinda have to learn it on your own…" Link added.

Mario sagged.

"Don't worry Mario-you just haven't discovered how yet! You will one day though!"

"Yeah, Malon learned how on accident!"

Mario nodded and led the group down the hall, where they instantly braked at the sight and sound of Jolene.

"…so you're telling me you have no idea who got inside?" Jolene concluded. "What do we pay you for?"

"I'm awful sorry, Ms. Jolene. I heard a noise in there, but I couldn't find anything…" a guard apologized.

"Hmph. Fine. Leave the matter to me. You just go back to your post. And listen: don't EVER tell anyone of this, or I'll have your job." Jolene finished darkly. The guard nodded and trotted off, leaving the gang trying to seem unsuspicious. Jolene, however, noticed them anyway.

"Mr. Gonzales! Mr. Blue! And the missing Link…this is highly inappropriate! What business do you have here?"

"Well-" began Koops, before four pairs of hands clamped down on his mouth.

"Please, I must ask you to stay out of places that you have no business being."

She walked off without another word.

"Weird…I thought for sure she'd chew us out for all we're worth!" Spike sighed in relief.

Everyone agreed as Mario removed the lock on the door. Koops instantly jumped in front of it.

"Wait! Didn't Jolene say there was something in there…" he started.

"Oh Kooper, you need a little more courage-like me!" Link scoffed.

"I, KOOPS, do not have a Tri-force of Courage like some people…I am a scared wimp!"

Sonic kicked open the door anyway. "Well if there IS something in there we'll just-"

"Oh! Mmm hmm hmm hmm! If it isn't my cute blue hero!" Ms. Mowz giggled upon sight of Sonic. He lightly blushed and scratched the back of his head.

"uh…hello?"

Mario, Link, and the others quickly ran in too. Koops briefly had hearts in his eyes while Link made a face. Ms. Mowz naturally also swooned over Mario,

"We meet again, you husky mustached hunk you!"

"Seriously, what am I? A scrap?" Link pouted.

"Oh! Ms. Mowz! Hi there! Are you stealing something again? How exciting!" Koops babbled.

"Wait, she's a thief?!" Sonic exclaimed. "And you're cool with that?!"

Link folded his arms and turned his back. "Don't worry-all she steals are badges…"

"Floozy…" huffed Goombella and Flurrie.

"I heard you used to wear a tuxedo for her Link!" Spike snickered.

"HEY! Who told you that?!"

"Goombella-"

Link glared daggers at said partner. Ms. Mowz just sighed and shook her head.

"Hey, by the way…a security guard heard you in here. Were you making a noise?"

Ms. Mowz lightly chuckled and put on a smug face. "Oh please! No one heard ME! I'm the best mouse-burglar of all time! I'm silent! It's quite obvious that someone else must have been monkeying about in here…"

"Someone's full of themselves…" Goombella muttered under her breath. Flurrie nodded, annoyed.

"Oh, sure, right! I didn't mean to doubt you Ms. Mowz…" Koops chuckled nervously. Sonic, who had been leaning on the wall, stood upright and pounded a fist into his palm.

"Well whoever it was, we're going to find out!" he said confidently.

"I'm sure you could!" Ms. Mowz smirked. "You guys are clever like that…"

Sonic stretched his arms behind his head. "Well, I don't mean to brag, but-"

_"Oh brother!"_

"For all we know she could be lying!" snorted Goombella.

"Hush. All you need to know is that I've taken what I needed and now I'll be on my way. As for the rest, help yourself to whatever you like." she jumped down and landed in front of Mario. "Mm hm hm hm hm! And now, we must part again my sweet mustache-man!"

She kissed his cheek, leaving Koops to whine out "Mario…you lucky dog…"

She trotted up to Sonic and gave him one without a word.

"Whoa! Are you trying to pull an Amy on me?!" he gaped, stumbling a bit from the suddenness.

"Is that what's called a kiss? I heard about those things! I'm jealous! Only you get one?" Spike complained.

"Apparently so!" Link stated sarcastically. Sonic tripped onto the floor.

"I almost forgot, my sweet…" she began again, helping Sonic up. "This arena holds many secrets you know. You should be careful, lest you end up like those poor souls upstairs."

Sonic raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean I'll end up like the poor souls upstairs?"

"What poor souls?" questioned Goombella.

"What secrets?" Flurrie pondered.

"What upstairs?" wondered Koops.

"And with that, good-bye, my delectable hunk of cheese! We shall meet again!"

"Joy…"

"Wait, was she talking to me or you?" Sonic asked Mario.

Mario: I don't know anymore.

She left in the extreme, awesome, bold, and daring exit…through the front door.

"Boy, Ms. Mowz sure is cute. Too bad I sound like such a dork whenever I talk to her." Koops sighed.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, wait until she hears you're cheating on her with a RAT! Literally, a rat!"

"I don't_ love_ her…I'm just saying in general she's cute and I talk dumb!"

"Besides, Koops doesn't have to worry-I have another fan!" Sonic groaned, still rubbing the spot on his cheek. "So unexpected…"

"SOME ONE GOT MY NAME RIGHT!!!"

The celebration was interrupted by another e-mail.

_Find the staircase switch to reach the attic._

_From X_

"Whaddya know? There just might BE an upstairs after all!"

Everyone took a good look around the room, but was finding nothing.

"Would you mind if I took a crack at something?" Flurrie asked. Mario shook his head, and Flurrie blew the paper cover off several yellow brick blocks. Mario put on a strange grin before rapidly swinging his hammer into all of them.

"Look! I found the switch!" Link said impressively, his good foot on the switch.

"you didn't even do anything!!" scoffed Goombella. Link went to fold his arms, when the roller-skate suddenly rolled out in front of him and he fell. Closing his eyes to embrace the pain, Link was surprised when he hit something soft-and it stopped his from falling.

"I told you I'll always have your back, buddy!" Sonic chuckled with a wink.

"Thanks…"

"No problem! Catching you with my speed was a piece of cake!"

"Ah, karma…" Goombella sighed as Mario hit the switch. Out of nowhere, stairs practically built themselves!!

"Whoa…"

Mario led the gang up the stairs- Spike managing to carry Link up there- and discovered there **was** a second floor!

----

The figure had tracked Ms. Mowz down the hall, but as usual she made her escape. Frustrated, the figure kicked the nearest wall and noticed the storage room.

"Perhaps I can figure out what she was into by looking in here…"

Popping open the door, the figure stuck its head it, only to see Mario, Sonic and Link climbing up the stairs! Gasping, the figure quickly shut the door and stood out in the hall.

"Wha…how do they manage to do that?! And now Sonic is with them?!?" the figure leaned back, then slid against the wall. "Oh man…what am I going to do? I should probably tell them…"

Thinking it over, the figure stood back up and clenched a fist.

"No…I'm doing this on my own…"

The figure started running after Ms. Mowz, completely ditching the theory to check the storage room.

"…whether I like it or not…"

-----

"Shine Sprite!" Link cried, quickly rolling over and grabbing the object. While he did that, Mario noted a large yellow block on the far side of the room. Goombella hopped up.

"I think Spike can get us over there!" she concluded. Spike nodded, struggling with Mario on his back.

"Leave it to me!"

He flew Mario across, and Mario smashed the block with the might of his hammer. Sonic spin dashed across, with Goombella, and Flurrie flew Koops over.

"What about me?!" Link whined.

"We'll check things out, then tell you what's up!" Sonic exclaimed. He then looked down at the hole Mario revealed. "Besides…I don't think you could fit down there…"

"Fine! Go on without unimportant Link…I'm just extra baggage!"

Sonic frowned, but turned and jumped into the hole with everyone else. They were eavesdropping in a smaller hole that peered into Grubba's office.

"Think of the gossip we could get here!" Spike whispered excitedly.

"SHH!"

Down below, Jolene was having an interesting conversation with Grubba.

"…so you didn't find hide nor hair of nobody in the storage room, that what yer sayin'?" Grubba finished.

"Yes, Mr. Grubba. It appeared to be secure," Jolene confirmed. "Don't worry about it sir. I've taken the necessary precautions. It was most likely just a rat or something."

Grubba still seemed worried, but he did a good job of hiding it. "Well, no big deal either way. Ain't nothin' there we'd miss too much anyway. Thanks fer stayin' on top of this Jolene. Hey, an' by the way, any word on King K?"

"I'm afraid we still don't know the whereabouts of King K, Mr. Grubba. And so…I deleted his spot on our roster per regulations."

Sonic's eyes widened.

"The Glitz Pit no longer has any official connection to KP Pete, a.k.a King K."

"Whoa! His real name was Pete?"

"Get serious! I thought he retired…" Sonic trailed. "If he retired, they should have already taken care of all this like they did Link! Why are they discussing it just now?"

"I have, of course, taken the same steps with all the fighters who've gone missing."

"Hoo, fighters have sure been goin' missin' a lot lately! That's the fifth this year! What in tarnation's goin' on? I even heard some security ijit sayin' the Pit's cursed!"

"What's an ijit?" Sonic questioned.

Mario: It remains a mystery…

"I doubt that sir, but I certainly don't understand the disappearances."

Grubba stretched a little.

"Well fer the time bein', tell the other fellas that King K headed on home for a spell. If word gets out about missin' fighters, it sure ain't gonna be good fer business, no siree! Nasty rumors have a way of sendin' folks runin' to the hills, know what I mean?"

"I understand completely Mr. Grubba." Jolene agreed. "I'll take care of everything sir."

She adjusted her glasses and prepared to leave as usual, but Grubba suddenly burst out.

"Y'know Jolene…yer a dang fine manager, but you just plumb disappear sometimes…I gotta know! Where in the world do you go, darlin'?"

Jolene's face grew into shock. "Uh…Th-that's…"

"Oh boy! The ultimate secret…" Spike exclaimed.

"Mr. Grubba, I know you're my boss, but I don't believe that's any of your business!"

"Aw man…"

"Be quiet!"

"Sheesh…chill…"

"Easy! Didn't mean to pry now! How 'bout this then…heard of the Crystal Star?"

Jolene, and everyone eavesdropping: !

"N-no…I've never heard of such a thing, Mr. Grubba." Jolene stated slowly.

"Okeydoke, well, I 'preciate yer time, Ms. Jolene. You go ahead an' run along, now, y'hear?

Jolene gave a quick nod and was out instantly. Grubba waited until she was gone, then gave a light chuckle.

"Well, if this isn't a fine how-do-you-do! Seems like good fighters are a dying breed! That wild child Blue Blur and the Great Gonzales are just about the only draws I still got 'round here…"

Up above, Spike was the first to comment. "WHOA! Did you guys hear that?!? Fighters are going missing dudes! That ain't cool!"

"By the sounds of it, Grubba makes it seem like Mario and I are next…" Sonic trailed.

"THIS IS HORRIBLE!" Koops screamed, only to be tackled and gagged by Goombella, Mario, and Spike.

"What in the hey?!" Grubba exclaimed, hearing something above his head. "Dang ceiling is spookin' me! HEY! Somebody up there?"

"Gah! What do we do?!"

"Meow!"

"Squeak!"

"BELCH!"

"Urgh…geoss"

"Sorry-one too many hotdogs…"

"Hoo-nelly…must be a burping beetle! Here I am, thinking' someone's up there a-peepin'!"

"Did he just honestly…"

"He's short a few nuts of a bolt, I reckon!"

"?"

"Oh, Link..."

"I gotta relax…take some yoga classes or something'…yep. Well, back to the ring!"

Grubba got up and walked out the door, letting everyone in ceiling able to breathe.

"Whoa…we dodged a bullet there!" Spike gasped. "Hey…did you hear that guy babbling about that Crystal Star? That Jolene lady acted pretty guilty when he let that one slip out…Well, whatever. For now, we'd better bail before someone finds us up here!"

Mario: Oh yeah!

**Moments Later…**

"Grubba's gonna kill us!" Sonic shouted, sliding through the vent using Mario's powers.

'Huh?!" responded Link.

"Oh what? I meant everyone in that room was pretty suspicious…"

"Well, we'll deal with it later!" Spike confirmed. "We have to get to the third rank today!"

"Right! Let's go!"

Sonic and Spike instantly ran out, everyone else helping Link down the stairs.

"Can anyone else not forget what Ms. Mowz was saying about the "poor souls" up there?" Link asked.

Everyone nodded.

**Major League-**

Sonic and Spike were dancing around, looking forward to the party tomorrow.

"You haven't even won yet!" Goombella snapped.

"Ah, but we will!" retorted Spike.

"You being full of yourselves is going to back-fire…" Koops sang.

"Look, if you guys are going to doubt us, then maybe we should just go our separate ways…" Sonic started. All eyes rolled to Link.

"We're just trying to say that even the best fall down sometimes, you know?" the swordsman muttered quietly. Sonic's firm posture quivered, but he still turned his back.

"W-well we're certainly not going to win with all the negativity you keep throwing at us! Spike, what are up against anyway?"

Spike hit the terminal and registered the match.

"Grubba says we're against Hamma, Bamma, and Flare…and our condition is to simply not use items."

"This should be taken care of easily!" Sonic exclaimed confidently. The guard arrived, and escorted the two to the match.

-----

"…your Priority-One Hedgehog, the blue blur against the Big Bad Brute Bros…yep a fight to the finish with Hamma, Bamma, and Flare!"

Goombella gulped and flipped through her book. "This is so not good…"

"Why? That's a bad sign!"

"Well, Hamma's hammer does a bit of damage, Bamma's boomerang can hit twice, and Flare's fire can burn! Not to mention they go insane when they start losing, and next thing you know, big 'ol game over!"

Link gulped.

Sonic began with his Action Chain, only managing to hit each bro. once for 3 damage. Spike went to Ground Pound, but ended up missing.

"Whoa! What happened?!" Spike gaped. "I n-_never_ miss!"

"Looks like someone's skill is getting a bit off!" Flare smirked.

"Don't let them intimidate you!" Sonic called.

"Then allow THIS to do so!" snickered Hamma, tossing a hammer up and down. Eventually, he chucked it at Sonic, taking away four. Flare spat out two fire balls, doing 5 more damage and buring Sonic.

"Holy-"

Bamma let out a mad cackle while tossing his boomerang, hitting both Sonic and Spike and taking away four more heart points. Then Sonic suffered from his burn and one more HP was lost. In one round, Sonic's HP fell to 11.

"Good lord-what the heck was that?!" Sonic panted.

"OWNAGE!" Bamma bragged, getting high fives from his teammates.

"Let me go first!" Spike offered. Sonic nodded and he walked in to do Gulp, but he stuck his tongue out a bit late and only stole 2 HP from Hamma and only 1 from Flare. The crowd gasped. Was their favorite hero losing his touch?

"This…isn't…happening…" he twitched.

Sonic spin dashed Flare, defeating him. Hamma, who's HP was down to two went berserk with a barrage of hammers, two hitting Sonic and three hitting Spike.

"Oh man…" Spike panted, glancing at how he only had 1 HP left. Sonic still had 5. Bamma tossed his boomerang once more, and Koed Spike and Sonic within one move. Spike slumped onto the ground, while Sonic's burn scorched him once again.

Everything got quiet, except for the faint cheers of the fans of the opposing team. Grubba coughed, adjusted his bowtie and said:

"We have a winner! Hamma, Bamma, and Flare!"

"Karma…" Flurrie sighed.

Link agreed. "Big time…"

* * *

**...I feel like I always lose to the Hammer Bro at least once everytime I play this game (which has only been thrice completed). But, despite Sonic's dreadful loss, it leads to something slightly better than a party- which will still be Friday.**

**P.S. I FINALLY got Paper Mario for Virtual Console (You know, that Wii old-game download thing?) ! Took forever to download, but now I'm in Chapter 4 :D Too bad I've already finished the original PMX...it's really different, actually playing!**

**Well, on that note, see you Friday as usual!**


	35. Sonic vs Mario: Battle of the Best!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 34: Sonic vs. Mario-Battle of the Best!

"Sonic…please get out of bed!" Link begged once more, early Friday morning. Sonic, an obvious lump under the blanket, did nothing. "I'm sorry the party won't be happening after all, but-"

"It's not about the party- my ego got shot!" came Sonic's muffled voice.

"No party…" pouted Spike in the corner, the complete opposite of Sonic's sorrows. "We were **so** close…"

"Well, hiding under a blanket certainly isn't going to help anyway!" scoffed Goombella.

"Leave me alone."

"Fine then! Hmph…"

Koops tried to talk to Spike, but only received a loud snarl in response. Not taking any more chances, he caught up with the rest of the gang sitting on the bench.

"Anyone know where Mario went?" Link asked glumly.

"I thought he went off to a match- he's still behind The Fuzz!"

"Wait…then why didn't he bring a partner?!"

"He brought Flurrie-again!" complained Goombella. "I mean, you have Koops, and Sonic has Spike, so why does Mario chose Flurrie! I'm a good battle partner!"

"You could kill the competition with your mouth…"

"You're not helping."

Mario and Flurrie arrived into the room as if on cue, looking very victorious.

"Something tells me you won!" exclaimed Link without much enthusiasm.

Mario: Duh.

Goombella skipped over to him and practically attacked him. "Please can I fight the next battle Mario!? _**Please**_!? I'm dying to fight again, and you _always_ take Flurrie!"

"_That_ was random."

"Shush Link!"

Mario: Whatever.

"YES!!!!"

Mario dragged Sonic out of the bed, took a quick rest, put Sonic back into it, and headed for the terminal once again, Goombella happily staying behind him. He was up against the Magikoopa Masters, and he couldn't use his jump. Fine with him-he loved using his hammer and Star Power anyway.

------

"Get yerselves ready to BAAAAATTLE!"

Goombella danced around in a fighting stance, eager to start kicking butt. Mario told her to appeal, with she did with a disappointed face. Mario lifted up his Crystal Star, of course the Diamond one, and Earth Tremored the Magikoopas down to one HP each. The red one healed itself, not the others, the green one became dodgy, and the white went invisible.

"Nice."

Goombella multi-bonked the red master until it was Koed, then Mario took a chance with his hammer and managed to defeat the green. The invisible white Magikoopa shot a blast at Mario, which was guarded expertly. With a smirk under his mustache (since the invisibility wore off), Mario used his hammer once more, then flipping and raising his hands for confetti.

"STYLISH!" Link wailed from the crowd.

"We have a winner!" announced Grubba. "The Grrrrrreat Gonzales!"

**Major League-**

"That was a great finish Mario!" Goombella admitted.

Mario: Puts on a smug look

"Show-off…"

"It was pretty neat!" Link agreed. "I'm kind of afraid to do one now…"

"You just need to watch where you're landing…" Koops sighed. Link folded his arms and stuck up his nose.

"All right! I get it already…I should be able to walk later though!"

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that…"

Mario strolled up to the terminal again and signed up for the match against Craw Daddy. Link suddenly gulped and struggled over to Mario.

"Mario…if you beat Craw Daddy, you'll be up against Sonic!"

Mario: That's the point!

Link turned to look at the lump under the blanket. "He'll be forced to fight if you sign up against him! Ah!"

"Well it certainly isn't rocket science…" Goombella sassed with a smirk. Link made a face at her and Mario had to quickly move him out of the way from the door.

"Gonzales! Match time bub."

Mario flipped his hat and winked, this time bringing Koops to fight. Flurrie stated she had to fix her make-up and floated into the bathroom, Goombella and Link hurried to the match, Sonic flopped to his side under the blanket still, and Spike just shook his head and stood up.

"No point in crying anymore…I wanna see what Gonzales can do!" he glanced at Sonic, decided to leave him alone, and sped out the door. "Besides, if he's going to be against me and the Blur, I'd better learn his style!"

------

"We can do this Mario! We just gotta beat him in five turns!" Koops cheered. Mario nodded, but glanced at his Star Power-not enough to do Earth Tremor. Dang. Nevertheless, Mario began with Quake Hammer, and Koops followed up with a simple Shell Toss. Craw Daddy, already down to 13, tossed a spear at Koops, and Koops guarded against it.

"Here! Use this!" Spike suddenly called, throwing a Thunder Bolt at them. Mario gave it to Koops and used Super Hammer, doing 6 damage. Craw Daddy was sent spinning around the stage, and Koops lowered him to 2 with the Thunder Bolt. Craw Daddy growled and charged at Mario, spearing him in the stomach. Luckily Mario didn't feel the damage. Mario let Koops finish the opponent off, and at the end they slapped high fives.

Goombella started dancing around excitedly in her chair. "This is going to be so cool!! It'll be the best battle since Mario versed you Link!"

"If only my slash didn't miss…"

"We're going to need a lot of popcorn!"

Spike punched the air. "Fighting Gonzales is going to be like an honor! It'll be even better if I beat him!"

"Don't you mean if you and Sonic beat him?"

"Duh! But is he here?"

Goombella nodded. "Can't you pep talk him out of bed or something?"

Spike gave a devilish grin. "Sure I can!"

Link leaned to Goombella. "I'm kinda scared…"

**Major League Room, several hours later-**

"It's…8 o'clock now?" Koops asked.

"Grubba wanted this match to be a nighttime one…" explained Goombella.

"Just to think, we could be partying now…" sighed Spike. Just then, Mario opened the door, and held it open for Link, his boot placed back on his once casted foot.

"Behold! I can walk!" Link boasted, stepping into the room but shaking a bit.

"Careful dear! It has been awhile…" Flurrie insisted. Link regained his balance and waved her off.

"True, but it's walking-it'll come back to me!" He turned to Spike. "Is Sonic ready for the big event?"

Spike folded his arms and snickered. "He'd better be! He's been in that bed all day! But it gave me time to throw together a speech!"

Spike trotted over to the bed, tore the covers off, and started shouting. "GET UP BIG BLUE! THE BIGGEST MATCH EVER IS COMING UP AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SNORE THROUGH IT!!!!"

Sonic screamed and sprang into a fighting stance. "What the Chaos was that?!?"

Spike jumped excitedly. "You've got a battle!!"

Sonic melted out of the stance. "Against who?"

"The _Grrrrreatttt_ Gon-**ZA**-les!" Link announced in an announcer voice. Sonic' eyes widened.

"I'm against _Mario_?! How _long_ was I under that blanket?!?"

"A day too long- now get yourself together before I use my motivational tactic!" Spike chuckled while punching a fist into his palm.

"I said give him a pep talk-not drill sergeant him out the door!" Goombella exasperated.

"Where's the fun in that?" was the retort. "C'mon Big Blue! If we beat Gonzales it'll give you the confidence back--because no one beats Gonzales!"

Sonic started considering it. "I have always wanted to fight him for fun…"

The group all cheered and stampeded out the door. Goombella seemed the most riled up.

"I paid Grubba to make this battle even more exciting you know…" she told Link. "Just a few lights and a dramatic entrance-nothing big…"

**Moments later-**

The stadium went dark, and the only light was a spotlight on Grubba. Everyone wondered what the heck was going on, but no one was more concerned than Link.

"Okay, this is interesting…"

"You haven't seen _anything_ yet!" Goombella cackled. Grubba tapped his microphone, and his voice boomed into it.

"Ladies and gentlemen…children of all worlds and ages! Right here an' now we have a battle of epic proportions! Just about the greatest darn fight ever!"

Rawk Hawk happened to be in the stands at this time, and started to growl. "No fight is better than a fight with the RAAAAAAWWWWKK!!!"

Grubba pointed to the blue door. "In this corner…ranked 4th in the Glitz Pit, we have your Priority one Hedgehog, the BLUEEEEE BLURRRRR!!! One of the hot-digity dang best fighters we ever had! C'mon up 'ere son!"

A blue spotlight suddenly turned on and flashed to the door. As it opened, smoke suddenly poured out and Sonic stepped out of it, striking a pose. The crowd went wild, and an awestruck Link turned to Goombella.

"How much did you **pay** him?!?!?!"

Goombella was too busy cheering to answer.

Sonic, followed by an overly excited Spike waded through the mist and walked up to Grubba, blue spotlight still on them.

"Tell me son! What're yer feelin' 'bout this match?"

"It's going to be epic, that's for sure!"

Grubba nodded. "Hear ya loud 'n clear! You know Gonzales is a pretty tough competitor too?"

Sonic waved a hand. "Of course! Only one tougher than him would probably be yours truly!"

"Ya hear that folks? Big Blue here's getting smart!"

"But he's still a close friend of mine, so here's to letting the best man win."

Just then, random colored lights dancing across the walls, signaling Grubba. He turned to the red door.

"The Blue Blur's opponent…ranked 5th in the Pit, it's the Merciless Executioner, The GREAT GONZALES! The only one who could even challenge the big blue without even breakin' a sweat!"

A red spotlight suddenly pierced the darkness and shot down to Mario and Flurrie.

"Ah the spotlight!" she sighed. "What a feeling!"

Rawk Hawk roared. "What?! This is an outrage!!! How DARE he say these two noobs are better than the Rawk Hawk? I could crush 'em both with a hand tied behind my back in my sleep! Unh! Yeah!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to hear!" a blue-shelled koopa snapped next to him. "I can't believe the one day I get to be here Mario and Sonic are here!!"

"Hey you shrimp! No one tells the Hawk to shut up, ya hear?!"

"Hpmh! If I ever get to fight here, I'm going to make sure I own you bad!"

The koopa got up and bumped into another one, which just so happened to be Koops.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry! I've been such a clutz…" Koops mumbled.

"It's okay dude! I've had worse!" the other responded. "If only it wasn't so dark in here…"

"Yeah-that was my Goomba friend's doing. She wanted Mario and Sonic's fight to be dramatic and-"

"Whoa! You know Mario and Sonic too?!?" the other koopa gasped.

"Sure do!"

"What about a guy named Link?"

"Yeah!!!" Koops cheered. "Hey wait a second! Who _are_ you?!"

The koopa adjusted his red bandana and stuck out his hand. "My name's Kooper! I was buds with all of them! Link does have some name issues though…"

Koops instantly screamed and ran back to Link. Kooper scratched the back of his head.

"Okay, that was really weird…I'd better go find a good seat before that match officially starts!"

Link and Goombella were gulping down popcorn like no tomorrow, listening to Mario's intense words on the battle.

"Man! Where's Koops with my Mushroom Dew?"

"LINK!!!!!"

Link and Goombella turned around to see Koops frantically dancing in what little light they had.

"What are you spasing about? And where's my drink?"

"I just saw that Kooper guy you keep mistaking me for!"

Link laughed. "Yeah right! You're probably just imagining things in the dark!"

"I'm serious!!!"

"Kooper went on a expedition with Kolorado! Why would he be here?"

"Just-oh, come on before he leaves!"

Koops yanked Link out the chair, Goombella just thankful Mario had a lot to say.

Koops dragged Link to the spot where he had seen Kooper, but of course he had left.

"I TOLD you , you were seeing things!"

"But he bumped into me right here!! Where'd he go!?"

----

Kooper walked around to the other side of the arena, where Kolorado was sitting. He had wanted to go somewhere else in case his hero was causing any trouble, but now he didn't have a choice.

"Hi Kolorado! I came back!" Kooper called, taking a seat next to him.

"Good show dear boy!"

"Thanks again for taking me here as a reward for the expedition- Mario and Sonic are going to have a battle!!"

"Yes that is truly a stroke of luck! Good thing we came straight here, didn't we hm?"

Kooper froze. "You did tell your wife we were coming straight here…didn't you?"

Kolorado looked proud. "I did! I wrote her a letter and everything! See? It's here in my pocket!"

Kooper's face fell and Kolorado showed him the tattered envelope.

"You didn't send the letter?"

Kolorado sweat dropped. "Hahahaha!? It looks like I didn't boy!" He started to panic. "Umm…maybe we should head back to Koopa Village, hm?"

"But I wanna see-"

Kolorado grabbed Kooper and dashed out of arena practically at the speed of light.

----

"He had a red bandana and everything Link!" Koops exclaimed back at their seats.

"I'm not believing you…"Link stated firmly. Koops threw up his hands.

"Fine! Don't!"

"Shush! Mario stopped speaking!"

"Wow! Boy had a lot to say huh folks?" Grubba asked.

"LET'S KICK SOME ALREADY!!!!" Spike shouted.

"Hold yer horses! It's red vs. blue! Plumber vs. 'Hog! Superstar vs.-"

"GET ON WITH IT!!!" Link roared.

Grubba muttered somwthing under his breath before finally announcing, "Get yerselves ready to…BAAAAATTLE!!! May the best one take all!!!"

Sonic saluted Mario with two fingers. "Good luck!"

Mario: You too.

Goombella broke out into a fan girl scream. "EEEEEEEE!!"

Sonic started everything off with a frightening Whirlwind, taking 6 from Mario and none from Flurrie, since she was a wind spirit. Spike then followed up with a Ground Pound to Mario's head. Mario rushed forward and Super swung Sonic into Spike, then Flurrie fed Mario a Super Shroom. Sonic threw himself into the air, hit both Mario and Flurrie twice, then landed on his heel and spun around, ending with a finger wag.

"STYLISH!"

Spike fluttered into the air to Ground Pound again, but Mario Super guarded and knocked him to the ground.

"Urgh…that's playing dirty Gonzales!" Spike shouted. Mario gave a shrug and Spin Jumped on Spike, leaving him 3/10 HP and the match had only just begun! Sonic was suddenly fear stricken as Flurrie put on a smirk. His eyes narrowed as he glared at Flurrie.

"Don't you even **dare** THINK about it…" Sonic threatened.

Flurrie body slammed Spike.

Spike struggled to stay up, but with 0 HP that wasn't exactly possible. Sonic let out an angry gasp as he stared at his Soul Partner.

"Don't give up Big Blue…they don't stand a chance against you!" Spike exclaimed as his last words before passing out. Random people in the audience cried out "Not the little Yoshi!" "Spike!" and "It's on now!"

---

Link folded his arms and looked amused. "Here comes the fury…"

Goombella snapped out of her trance and glanced at Link. "What do you mean?"

"When your Soul Partner gets KO-ed, it unleashes this…_feeling_ inside you that just wants to avenge them." Link glanced down. "The same thing happened to me with Bombette when she was hurt by the Koopa Bros. I just lost it and finished them off…"

Goombella nodded and started scribbling the info down.

"Then there was Kirby and Bow…the Crystal King kidnapped her and froze her, and Kirby just went berserk when he attacked him! And when we fought Lakilester, Samus dove in front of Bombette's ultra attack just to try and save him!"

"What do you think Sonic will pull off?"

"I have no idea…"

---

Mario gave a sideways glance to Flurrie.

"Sorry Mario…I thought it was the best move!"

"Maybe for you!" Sonic shouted angrily. Mario gulped. The hedgehog used his turn to swallow a Power Punch, then folded his arms and dared the other side to attack. Flurrie went first this time, but Sonic furiously super guarded her with a kick to her side. The entire crowd cringed. Koops shrieked. Link and Goombella exchanged glances. Mario summoned a Crystal Star and prepared to use Earth Tremor.

"Why does he always use Earth Tremor?" Koops wondered.

"Because it ROCKS!"

"Oh Link…"

The force of the super-charged star sent the stage quaking, making Sonic bounce around the floor and even crash into a wall.

"Hoo MAN! Things are gonna get-" Grubba began, only to be cut off by Sonic suddenly rushing by him.

"ARagh!"

He literally ran into Flurrie so fast, he accidentally caused a Sonic Boom to emerge and nearly knocked everyone out of the building. Mario went flying into the ceiling, and Flurrie was instantly KO-ed from the combination of speed, anger, and his Power Punch power.

"Show no mercy Mario!" Flurrie ordered, slipping into an unresponsive state.

"Now it really is Mario vs. Sonic…" Koops gulped.

Mario pulled his head out of the ceiling and crashed onto the floor. The fall made him lose one point of HP, and both fighters now had 15 HP.

Mario jumped. Sonic super guarded.

Sonic Spin Dashed. Mario Super guarded.

Sonic used his Action Chain, hitting three times and finishing off with a knee-uppercut.

"Ooh! That HAS to hurt!" gaped Koops, rubbing his own jaw. "I FELT that!"

Mario was sent into a daze, unsure of what exactly happened, but still knew Sonic was the cause of it. He ate another Super Shroom, which gave Sonic an opportunity to refill his gauge too, except he only had a regular Mushroom.

"Mario's at 17 and Sonic is at 19!" Goombella announced. They suddenly threw themselves at each other and started rolling around the stage.

"What the heck? What are they-" Grubba was once again cut off by the sound of them crashing into the smoke machine. Fog poured over the stage, hiding Mario and Sonic from view. The entire crowd began a riot.

"Where'd they go?" "I can't see anything!" "What a waste of money!"

Sonic jumped out of the smoke, briefly hovering above it before spinning back into it, hoping to hit Mario. There was some muffled scuffling, then a cry of pure pain-or maybe just shock. Link was about to go mad and jump up there.

"What the heck is going on?!" He shouted, leaping into action. Koops grabbed him and threw him back down.

"You know you can't go up there- Shy Guy privilege only!" explained Koops.

"I know…but…" he turned to Goombella. "You just** HAD** to make the battle exciting! Well, it certainly is exciting when you CAN'T SEE IT!!!"

"Shut up! Like I was supposed to know they were going to roll and break it!"

"Okay! Clear her out!" Grubba's voice called, signaling that he had fixed the machine. The smoke magically cleared away, and it revealed a tired Sonic lying on the floor, with 6 HP, and Mario standing firm, Piercing Blow in hand, with 9 HP- and both were out of healing items.

"Give…up yet?" Sonic asked, panting heavily, a strange tone in his voice. Mario shook his head. "Neither am I."

"if I'm correct, then after Sonic went to Spin Dash Mario, it did hit him, and then Mario attacked with Power Smash! They tumbled, Sonic gave Mario a few punches, and Mario retorted with piercing blow that made Sonic cry out!" Goombella deduced.

Sonic got off the floor, hand curling into a determined fist. He glanced down at Spike, now looking like he was fast asleep.

"I'll win for you buddy…"

He used Action Chain, hitting three times and draining Mario to 3 HP. Mario pulled out a Thunder Bolt and spared Sonic with only one.

"OMG Sonic needs to pull a miracle!" Goombella gasped.

"He can just use a Spin Dash, you know-"

"Which Mario will likely Superguard and beat him idiot!"

"Just saying…sheesh…"

"Peril! Peril! Peril!" the audience chanted. Grubba tapped on his mic.

"Well it looks like we know who's gonna win this 'ere match!"

Sonic checked his FP- 4, one too short. He grabbed a Honey Syrup and swigged it.

_"I'm sure am taking a chance here…"_

Mario knew he didn't need to use anything fancy, and simply took out his plain old hammer. Everyone watched in horror at the sight of Sonic about to lose, but just before Mario made contact, Sonic brought his foot up, blocked the hit, and kicked the hammer out of Mario's hands. When Mario ran to get it, Sonic started running around the stage, causing a mini tornado to form. Eventually he closed in on Mario, which made the plumber whirl around in the wind and fall to the floor, taking away what he had left of health. Once Sonic stopped running, he ran back to Spike and picked him up, giving him a light hug.

"I don't get it! Why did Sonic use Whirlwind?" Koops wondered.

"Because he knew Mario wouldn't be able to counter with his unpredictable speed and location!" Goombella remarked. "Ingenious!"

"That's Sonic for ya! Clever little hedgehog…" agreed Link.

"We have a winner! The BLUEEEE BLURRR! Man what a hot battle! I honestly though Gonzales was gonna win!" he pointed to Sonic. "You proved me wrong son! If you can pull off a trick like that, then you got what it takes to get to the top! LET 'IM HEAR YA!"

The crowd cheered and went nuts, screaming "Blue Blur" or "Big Blue" into the sky as a purple spotlight followed the victor. Sonic waved to everyone with a triumphant smile, and walked off stage carrying his partner.

-----

"Ooooh…did we win?" Spike asked when he came to back in the locker room. It was now 9:30 pm, considering how long and late the battle ran. Sonic leaned in a chair next to the bed, about to answer, until Link, Goombella, and Koops sprang into the conversation.

"Did he _win_?! If only you weren't unconscious to see such an epic battle!" Link near-screamed.

"Sonic had only one HP left, and all hope was lost, and then he pulled off this incredible strategy!" Goombella added excitedly.

"And…um,…It was just awesome!" Koops put simply. Sonic smiled and winked at all of them.

"Thanks!"

Spike punched Sonic on the shoulder. "I knew you could take 'em! Gonzales may be one heck of a star, but you'll still always be number one! Nothing can stop you!"

Sonic leaned back farther. "I suppose…hey, what ever happened to Mario?"

"Mario went to the infirmary to check his jaw after you kneed him…" Link explained in a nervous chuckle.

"…and Flurrie's in the bathroom again, having a dramatic moment…" sighed Koops. Sonic nodded and headed out.

"Where are you going, is the question!" Spike called after him. Sonic shrugged.

"Gonna go thank someone…"

The door shut behind him. Everyone blinked.

"Thank who?"

"We'll never know…"

-----

He ran into Mario-more literal than intended- when he was on his way back from the check up. Sonic grinned sheepishly and helped him up. Mario dusted himself off and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry about that…I didn't think you were coming back so soon!"

Mario: No big deal.

Sonic scratched the back of his head. "I…realize what you were doing back in the battle…it was what everyone was telling me the entire time! Winning these matches isn't because of how good you are…or how lucky you are…you win because you deserve it!"

Mario folded his arms and put on a smug look.

"…did you _really_ have to KO Spike?"

Mario nodded.

"Maybe I WAS relying on him a bit too much…but I'm not making the same mistake twice! Thank you for showing me…"

He stuck out his gloved hand for Mario's gloved hand to take.

"Good battle! Everyone, including myself, almost thought you had me!"

Mario shook his hand and they started walking down the hall together. Sonic then smirked and started walking backward in front of him.

"_Still_…you'd have to be pretty lucky to beat Sonic the Hedgehog!"

And with that, he ran off, heading back to the locker room. Mario shook his head, but with a smile.

* * *

**Awesome. :D. With the next chapter, Chapter 3 FINALLY starts to wear down...it's like Chapter 3 is all long and you forget there's still more game, and then short little Chapter 6 flies by! Hmph.**

**Next chapter- Sonic gains confidence again and starts fighting his way to Rawk Hawk, Mario and Link receive more messages from X and learn more about the Pit's mystery, and someone's after the team apparently... (no, not "the figure" either- I just wanted to sound dramatic!)**


	36. The Majors of the Majors

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 35: The Major of the Majors

"I'm still cheesed that we didn't get the party…" Spike complained the next morning.

"Heh, "cheesed"-"

"_Not_ funny!"

Sonic then walked into the room, looking confident as ever. "Are you ready to take on Hamma, Bamma, and Flare again Spike?"

Spike punched the air. "Sure am! It's about time I get my fighting magic back!"

Sonic rolled his eyes and headed back to the terminal. The condition was to pull three stylish moves.

"No problem!"

**In the battle after the long introduction-**

"Look! Who let the rat out?" sneered Bamma.

"Who let that joke out of the lame department?"

"Just get on with the fight…"

Sonic started off with Action Chain, hitting each bro three times before missing. Spike trotted up, swallowed Hamma, and spat him into Flare, defeating them both. Bamma gulped.

"Hahahahaha! Sorry 'bout the lame crack…um…"

He chucked his boomerang at both of them, the duo guarding the attack both hits. Bamma sweat dropped when Spike floated above him with a smirky grin.

"Dahhhhhhh!!"

"Have a pound or five punk!"

Bamma cried out as soon as he was defeated, Sonic and Spike sharing a high five.

"We have a winner! The Blue Blur! Looks like that last fight put the gain in the pain…or somefin' like that…"

**Major Leagues-**

"NOW we're in the third rank!" Spike exclaimed with a slight pout. Sonic patted him.

"So we don't get to party- I'm sure they'll be another chance in the future!"

"Isn't that the truth!" put in Link. "So…are you guys going to fight again? I'm _dying_ to find out who's ranked 2nd!"

"Let's see…" As Sonic headed to the terminal, Mario, who had been watching, suddenly answered his SP with a message for him and Sonic. He motioned for the hedgehog and Link read it aloud.

_This is your last warning! Stop snooping about for the Crystal Star! If you don't, you'll suffer the same fate as the others who've gone missing…_

Sonic twitched. "I knew we were the next victims!"

"Don't panic Sonic!" Link ordered. "…that's _my_ job!"

"How does anyone even know we were snooping?" Koops wondered. "He really seems to know a whole lot of stuff…those missing fighters…the Crystal Star…"

"You know, if we find this guy, we'll have all the answers!" Spike pointed out.

"But who could it be?"

"Oh, the mystery…" mused Sonic. "Maybe we'll find out after this match…"

"Well boy howdy Big Blue! Fixin' fer a fight huh? Lemme just see…yer next opponent will be…ranked 2 in the Glitz Pit…Chomp Country! Now listen son: I want you to win BEFORE you take 20 HP of pain! We don't wanna see you win by the skin of your teeth like last time! Now get out there and show some grit, pard!"

Sonic snapped his fingers. "Ha! This'll be…"

Jolene suddenly opened the door, with something in her hand.

"…a piece of cake?!"

"Pardon me, Mr. Blur. Another gift arrive from one of your admirers. I'll just leave it over here if that's okay? Do with it what you will."

…and she was gone. Sonic smacked his lips, along with Spike, Link, and Goombella, and marched up to it.

"Wow, that's looks pretty darn good!"

"Can we have some?" asked Goombella.

Sonic shrugged. "I don't care."

Link jumped into the air with a shout of yes and ate half the cake in one bite. No one objected to it though, and Sonic, Spike, and Goombella divided up what was left.

"To a good battle!" Sonic said, cake raised for a toast. Goombella and Spike laughed.

"This is gonna be so good…"

"GURK!" Link choked before collapsing onto the floor, grabbing his throat. Goombella gulped and placed the cake back on the table.

"On second thought…I'm not really hungry…"

"Link! What the-" Spike gasped, running to his side. Sonic was poking him and asking what was wrong.

"This cake is so good it feels like my body's going numb…"

"Numb? What…" Sonic started, trying to get Link to get up. Link twitched but nothing more.

"That's not good…" Koops gulped.

"Maybe he ate too much cake too fast?" suggested Goombella. Sonic picked up his piece and had Spike sniff it. Spike recoiled and wrinkled his nose.

"Something is _definitely_ off about that…" he gagged. Suddenly the guard appeared, ready to take them to the ring.

"But my friend's been paralyzed by a cake!" Sonic wailed.

"Tough luck. We gotta go. The house is packed!"

"Don't worry Sonic- Mario can handle Link. By the time you get back I bet he'll be feeling better!" Goombella confirmed. Flurrie suddenly burst out of the bathroom.

"My little Link is paralyzed! Good heavens!"

"NOW she cares…" muttered Link. "Good luck…"

Sonic winced. "Man, this is the second bad thing that's happened to you here!"

"But if you didn't let him eat the cake you'd be paralyzed!" Koops pointed out.

"I'd actually rather have that…" Sonic grumbled while walking to the match.

**The Ring-**

"Fer our next battle, we have the fastest thing alive, your Priority One Hedgehog, the Blue Blur…and The Red Ore Fear Orbs…yep a fight to the finish with Chomp Country!"

"ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF!!!!" the red chomps barked.

"Bring it!" dared Spike.

"Get yerselves ready to BAAAATTLE!"

**_Gong!_**

"Okay Spike! We should be able to take them out pretty easily. You swallow, and I'll finish them off!" Sonic explained. He hit the first Chomp with a Spin Dash, only doing one, then Spike followed up with a Gulp that knocked it out and also taking one from the second Chomp. The remaining Chomp bounced around.

"Hurry up and-YOW!!"

The Chomp lashed forward, biting Sonic on the nose. While Sonic rubbed it, Spike gulped the Chomp and spat it into the wall, defeated.

"I knew it was a piece of cake!" Sonic scoffed.

**Locker Room-**

"Link are you alive!?!" Sonic shouted as soon as he ran in. Link was sitting on the bench with Mario, perfectly fine.

"Hi! I'm feeling okay now…but good to see you took care of business anyway!"

Sonic struck a pose. "Of course…"

"Still…a poisoned cake…" Koops pondered.

"Somebody obviously wanted me, and maybe all of us, out of the picture…" Sonic confirmed. "We'd better watch our steps."

"Right!" Link agreed. Mario nodded. Spike suddenly realized something.

"Hey Big Blue…we're in the second rank now! One more battle and we'll be number one!"

"…and we'll have a shot at the Champ!" Sonic finished.

Goombella started dancing. "Well what are you waiting for? Sign up for a match and get ready to own!"

Sonic wasted no time in getting back to the action- number one Koopinator was up next! The Koopinator in the background glared menacingly with his beady red eyes.

"……………………………....................................You. How dare you interfere with my meditation? Time is too precious to squander on one such as you."

"Ha! You should be honored that you even get a chance to fight me!"

Koopinator rolled his eyes. "That is what you think. I'd be honored to fight someone higher than me, not lower."

"You were owned by a chicken!" Link butted in, pointing a finger. "Did you see your face? You were all "Ow! WAH!"

The Koopinator blinked. "……..and you're about to be "pwned" by a turtle."

"-and _you're_ about to be…_Qwned_ by a hedgehog!"

"Qwned?"

"It fit the pattern."

"Mr. Blue. Mr. Koopinator. Match time bubs."

Sonic and Koopinator had a stare down on the way out the door.

**The Match-**

"You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly stronger."

Link whistled. "Man-he reminds me of Shadow!"

Sonic took a look at the Koopinator's helmet and sighed.

"Aw man…he's spiky! I can't hit Spiky enemies!"

"Looks like we're using FP…" sighed Spike.

Sonic turned to the audience. "You guys supply some Honey Syrup all right?"

Everyone gave a thumbs up. Sonic nodded.

"All right then…we're kickin' this fight off with Whirlwind!"

Sonic zoomed around the Koopinator, sending him into the air and slamming back down to the floor. But thanks to his defense of 2, the attack only did 4 damage instead of 6.

"Curse Koopas and their shells!"

Spike struck his opponent with his tongue, gulping him and spitting him out.

"You dare to call that a move? I call it repulsive!" Koopinator complained, cleaning himself off. Spike shrugged.

"You dare to call yourself a fighter? I call you a wimpola!"

Link hooted in the audience. "That's a good one! Better write it down…"

The Koopinator grunted. "I'll show you how much of a wimpola I am-"

"I think you've shown enough already!" cackled Sonic.

Koopinator retreated into his shell and plowed into Sonic and Spike, taking five HP from both of them.

"He must've learned that from Shellshock!"

"But he wasn't on his back…"

Sonic gulped in realization that he underestimated his foe and used Whirlwind once more. As soon as he finished, he got down on the ground in a blur of break dancing-and dang he was good!

The crowd stood up and clapped for Sonic.

"That's right Sonic!"

"Annihilate the Koopinat…_or_!"

"That was epic fail…"

"I know…"

Link tossed a Maple Syrup to Spike, which he drank instantly. Koopinator swung into the two again, Sonic regular guarding and Spike super guarding, though it didn't damage him.

"How I wish he didn't have a spike…" Sonic groaned while Whirlwinding again. Spike rummaged through their item bag.

"Let's see…hey! A Thunder Bolt!"

Koopinator was stuck by lightning, but instead of five only gave him 3 HP worth of pain.

"Curse his slightly cool-looking armor!"

"Not so wimpola now, am I?" he smirked, flying into them again with another devastating five-hit attack. Spike cringed and fell down.

"Curse me and my only 10 HP…" Spike moaned.

"no! not again…Koops! I need you!"

Goombella helped Spike off the stage and Koops climbed up. "Cool! I get to fight with Sonic! Are you going to Sonic Boom him like you did with Flurrie?"

Sonic shook his head. "No…but MAN he needs to get some more HP!"

"I could talk Link into giving you all the Shine Sprites we have so far…then you could level him up and you'll be able to fight without problems!"

"But…"

"He's still only a few days old Sonic. Spike can only do so much-even if he is bursting with confidence, smack-talk, and downright awesomeness."

Sonic grinned. "You're right…"

"Looks like the baby needed a nap. Are you going to fight or can I take my turn?" Koopinator yawned. Sonic scowled and strolled up to him.

"You wanna know something?"

"What?"

Sonic kicked him straight in the jaw, similar to what he did to Mario, only with more pain and force. It took 3 HP away, and managed to knocked him over. Sonic put one foot on him and glared into his red eyes, now burning with slight fear.

"That Yoshi is anything but a baby, no matter how old he may be. Age isn't a factor when it comes to fighting. How old are _you_, exactly?"

He heard the Koopinator gulp. Someone in the audience randomly shouted "45!" but that was probably just a guess, after all. Sonic smirked and stepped off him, now that the spikes in his shell were stuck in the floorboards. Koopinator struggled to get up, but was truly failing.

"What the-?! You set me up punk! That is a low blow for a fighter and-"

"-You just stay put so I can win this. Hit him, Koops."

"Yes sir!"

Koops slammed his shell into the Koopinator, now with his defense lowered. Koopinator saw the look on Sonic's face and frantically tried to get free before his turn was skipped.

"Too slow, turtle!" Sonic jumped into the air and rapidly spun into a ball.

"Hasta la vista!" Link shouted from the audience.

Sonic crashed down onto the Koopinator's stomach, making him grab his gut before falling limp onto the stage.

"We have a winner! The Blue Blurrrrr!"

"Looks like we know who's better now!" Sonic stated smugly while giving a victory pose.

"Glad I could help!" Koops cheered. "Now you'll be up against the champ!"

**Major League-**

Spike blinked his eyes open and grabbed his head before realizing he was in a bed-again.

"Aw…did I get knocked out AGAIN!?" he shouted. "Let me guess-we still won."

Sonic nodded "You'd better believe it."

"Sorry I keep-"

"Don't apologize-I think it's my fault! Next time, I'll keep a watch on your HP, and make sure you don't push too hard or anything until-"

"But Rawk Hawk is up next!" Spike exclaimed, with somewhat excitement.

"How are you going to prevent Spike from passing out AND take out the bulk that is Rawk Hawk?" questioned Link.

"The battle would drag on, but I'd make sure Spike stays alive!"

"As in not dead?!"

"You know what I mean-able to attack and move and breathe!"

"I know, I know-just messin' with ya!"

Mario's pocket began to vibrate, and he checked the newest message on his SP. Everyone gathered around.

_Remove the Great Gonzales poster in the lobby_

_From X_

"Sweet! More X mystery…"

**In the lobby-**

"Hey! Check this one of me out!" Sonic stated, talking about a picture of him giving a thumbs up with a blurry green background and a lightning bolt coming out of the top right corner.

"That's Link green! They gave me a little shout out!" Link stated proudly.

"Looks a bit…tacky-"

"TACKY?!"

"Well, maybe not…but I do like Mario's a bit more."

"Everyone is a critic."

Mario did what he came here to do- take down his own poster on the left side of Sonic's. Using Flurrie to blow it away, a key suddenly fell from where it had once been.

"Whatever could that key be for?" wondered Flurrie.

"Cool! What's behind Sonic's?" Goombella wondered, getting ready to tear it down. Sonic karate chopped her away.

"We're only here to take down Mario's poster-not mine. No touchie."

"…okay then…"

Now that they had the key, X sent them another message.

_Go to the second floor of the storage room._

_From X_

"Oh yeah…wasn't there a locked door in there?" Link mused.

"Poor souls upstairs…" Sonic muttered to no one in particular.

**Second Floor of storage room-**

"Are you ready? Let's bust this door wide open!" Spike urged. Mario nodded and stuck the key in the door, and the lock fell. He pushed it open, and everyone stepped inside.

"So far so good…" Sonic trailed. "Spike, you'll need to fly Mario across those crates though."

Spike was already standing on one. "I'm on it!" Mario sat on him. "Oooh…and he's on me…"

Sonic bounced off the wall and landed on the other side with Goombella, Link managed to climb over-and fell onto the floor, and Flurrie grabbed Koops and carried him over.

"Wow something smells **rank** man!" Spike choked, grabbing his nose.

"It's probably behind that giant yellow block…"

"Break it Mario!"

Mario twisted himself like paper, then slammed his hammer into the block, shattering it to pieces. What was behind the block was probably going to scar the gang for life.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!!!" everyone wailed at the sight of King K and Bandy Andy lying practically dead on the floor, flies fluttering around the powerless bodies.

"You gotta be kidding me!" yelped Spike.

"How did this happen?!" Sonic asked even though no one knew the answer. He bent down to King K and tried to get him to come to.

"Ooooooogg…" came from Bandy Andy. Link headed over to him and poked him.

"Gon…Gon…Gonzales…Blue…Listen to me…URK!…man…Don't…get…near…the…ring…when…no…one…is…around…Ooooohhhh…"

And he went unconscious.

"C'mon! Shake it off buddy! What do you mean don't go near the ring?" Spike questioned.

"Poor souls…" repeated Sonic.

"How did Ms. Mowz even get_ into_ this room?" Link wondered.

"She has her ways…" sighed Koops.

"I'm think we should-"

"JOLENE!"

Everyone hurdled over the crates (except Mario who was assisted by Sonic) to see Jolene quickly slam the door.

"This is insane! What is going ON here?!" shouted Spike.

"What do we do now though?" Link asked. "X hasn't told us to do anything else!"

"We could watch the fight against the champion…" Spike hinted with a grin.

"How am I supposed to fight when I know people are in pain and dying in a storage room?" Sonic inquired.

"We can't help them until we find the Crystal Star, and so far our best chance is you becoming the Champion!" Link explained, putting a hand on his best friend's shoulder.

"but the Star on the belt isn't even the real one!"

"It's still here, isn't it?"

Sonic nodded.

"You're our best shot! Besides, you'll be able to claim your sought after title!"

"You can do it Sonic!"

"…and when it's all over, we'll have help to assist the missing fighters!"

Sonic smiled. "Okay…time for me to fight the champion! You guys go get good seats, and I'll sign up for the match."

Everyone wished Sonic good luck, and they went their separate ways.

**Major League-**

"Hurruhurryhurryhurryhuryhurry HURRY!" demanded Spike.

"Calm down and give me a chance to hit the button! Sheesh!"

"The Blue Blur! Howdy! Fixin' for a fight huh? Hyuk hyuk hyk! Well, guess what? Your next match is…THE TITLE MATCH!"

"Aw yeah!" Spike belted out. "epic win!"

"Hoooooo-WEEEEE! Darn tootin'! You're up against the champ, Rawk Hawk! Now, I wanna see a fair and exciting match so don't you let me down, now, you hear? You'd better pull of five stylish moves son ya hear? The crowd needs somefin' flashy, you catch my drift? Give 'em a good show. Now get out there and blow the roof off son!"

Sonic and Spike started dancing around, spinning across the floor. "We're gonna fight Rawk Hawk! Oh yeah! Uh huh! We're gonna own him-and become the champs!"

The escort arrived, motioning for Sonic and Spike. The two stopped dancing and obediently followed. He started going the wrong way, and Spike instantly got suspicious.

"Hold up dude! Where're you heading? That ain't the way to the arena!"

The guard swallowed a nervous chuckle and tried to keep him composure. Sonic raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, uh, you go this way this time 'cause it's a special match…" he explained.

"I don't trust you…" Sonic stated simply, yet still followed. The halls were still and quiet, giving the fighters a strange chill.

"Hey hold it meathead! This doesn't seem right…" Spike snapped. The guard kept going. Sonic and Spike gave a nod to each other, and just before they turned to run off, the guard opened a door and ushered them in.

"Um, why are we in the old Minor League locker room? It's even worse than the current one!"

"You two wait here."

The guard left without another word.

"That guy said to wait…but we're missing our title bout! This stinks!" yelled Spike. Sonic glanced at the door and bared his canine teeth.

"It was a trap…" he seethed silently.

-----

"I so totally can't wait for this match!" Goombella exclaimed.

"Neither can I! Rawk Hawk is going to get what he deserves!" added Link.

"It's beginning! Shush!" a Koopa grunted next to him.

"It's a fight! We're supposed to be loud!"

"Now fer today's main event! The top dog of the major league…the Blue Blur… is finally gonna throw down with the champ! The one, the only…RAWK HAWK! First to enter the ring…the Feral Nuclear Reactor…RAAAAAAWK HAWWWWWWK!"

"BOO!" shouted Link, chucking a rock at Rawk before he had a chance to fully enter the door. Rawk shook a random fist, then continued onto the stage.

"YOU GO CHAMP!"

"RAAWK HIM!"

"EEEEEEEE!"

"(insert fourth comment I was unable to read)"

"Hoo DOGGIES! Champ! How're you feelin' son? Yer challenger's a handful!" Grubba exclaimed as soon as Rawk Hawk was firm on stage.

"He don't want a handful of THIS! Unh-uh! There's only one champ…and it's ME!" Rawk boated. "Even if this Blue Blur wuss ever shows up, what's he gonna do huh? NOTHING!"

"What does he mean by if he ever shows up?" Link asked slowly.

"But the Blue Blur made it to the top of the leagues faster than anyone, ever!"

"Well he IS the fastest thing alive!" Goombella pointed out.

"He even got up there faster than YOU, Champ! What you got to say about that?"

"What do I have to say? PBBBBBTTTTHHH!! THAT'S what! Who cares what this guy did to a bunch of chumps?!? 'cause now he gets RAWKED!"

Team Mario scowled darkly.

-----

"Ego sense is tingling…"

"Ok, that's it! Nobody's coming for us, man! Hear me? Let's go kick some tail!" Spike ordered. He, obviously cheesed off, turned the handle on the door.

"AWWWWWWWW…WEAK! Some punk's trapped us in! We're trapped in here!"

"I knew it…"

------

"And now fer our challenger…your Priority One Hedgehog…The BLUE BLUR!!!"

Mario's team started going wild with cheers, until they realized Sonic didn't come through the doors. Link grunted and glared at Rawk Hawk.

"…hold the phone folks! What the hey's going on? What happened to the Blue Blur?!?!"

"We're gonna die in here!"

"Get a grip man!"

"I'll tell you what happened! He fears the RAWWWWK!"

"You wish turkey!" Link shouted, throwing another rock at him.

"Knock it off Link!"

"Don't you mean…RAWK/ROCK it off?"

"This is _so_ not the time for that…"

"Hoo-WEE! What a stupefying' development folks! Did the Blue Blur really turn yella and head for the hills like a dog?!?"

"The only time he'd be turning yellow is to go Super Sonic and kick your a$$!"

"Using dollar signs?"

"It was Koops, not me. He's a wimp, remember?"

"HEY!"

"I tell you what folks… if he don't show soon, he's a-gonna forfeit the match!"

* * *

**bla bla, early chapter, bla no other time this week, review bla bla bla...Okay! Next week we see some final action, and the week after that...BOSS WEEKEND! Finally! :D**


	37. To Separate the Champ from the Chump

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 36: To Separate the Champ from the Chump

"Man this is the WORST! We're gonna forfeit the match if we don't show up soon! We gotta break outta here man! Right now!"

Sonic scanned the room. "Well there's no windows, the door is locked, and the only things of interest I see is a giant Peach poster over there."

Spike ran over a kicked it. "It's hollow! But we need Flurrie to blow it off!"

"Hello? I'm Sonic!"

Sonic curled up, bounced off the floor and tore into the Peach poster. Spike gave him points and jumped through the hole. Sonic stood still and gaped.

"What the haydes is this?! A little poker room?"

"Come ON!"

"Okay…"

Sonic opened the next door, which was really a locker, that led to a Major League room. Spike frantically ran to the door and tried it, but naturally it was locked.

"Urgh…"

"Here's another door!" Sonic noticed it was in the same spot as the door in the Minor Locker Room. He pushed it opened, and made a face at what was inside.

"It's a bathroom?! We hit a dead end Spike…"

Spike inspected the toilet. "I'm not so sure…"

He stood on the rim and played with the flusher.

"Oh NO! You're _not_ having me go into a potty! As gross as that even sounds, there's also water in a toilet, and there are small pipes, and I'd be in a small pipe filled with water-"

"Do you wanna show that bird who's the better animal or not?"

Sonic glanced at the toilet and sighed.

"I always knew my success would go down the toilet…"

He plugged his nose and dove it, Spike quickly hitting the flusher then jumping in.

"MAN EATING TOILET!"

"LORD HAVE MERCY!"

"THIS IS SO Wro…blub blub blub…"

_The sound of a toilet flushing was heard throughout the halls of the Glitz Pit, though only heard by guards._

_------_

Sonic gasped and spurted, struggling to get out of the toilet. Spike came up behind him and pushed him out.

"Dude, I have got so much respect for plumbers now!" Spike panted. Sonic nodded and coughed.

"Tell me about it…I'll be sure to stop making fun of Mario and his occupation!"

"Right. Now let's get Rawk Hawk!"

"Don't need to tell me twice!"

Ending up back in the Major League locker room-their OWN- the two ran out the door and down the hall.

------

"LOOK! IT'S SONIC!" Link yelled at the top of his lungs the moment Sonic and Spike stumbled into the arena.

"The moment you been waiting for folks! The Blue Blur _just_ entered the arena!" Grubba announced. The entire arena started chanting "Blue Blur", which Rawk Hawk made a face at.

"Looks like we made it…and the crowd is LOVING us! We are STARS baby! Come on-let's go lay the smack down on that big chicken!" Spike stated, ready for action.

"We're going to show him what were made of!"

As they marched onto the stage, they were showered with all kinds of shouts.

"you rock man!"

"YEAH! YOU THE HEDGEHOG!"

"BLUE BLUR!"

"You're late!"

"Just listen to the crowd hoot 'n holler fer the challenger, Blue Blur!" Grubba whistled. "Will his attitude of hurt n' harm be enough to rock Rawk Hawk's socks?"

"It's better be!" shouted Goombella.

"Now, at long last, the battle to end all battles is here! Let's keep it clean boys!"

"Until we splatter the hawk onto the floor…then mop the floor with him!" smirked Spike. "All right Big Blue! We're fighting the champ! I'M…SO…FIRED…UP!"

"Harharharharharhar! You wimps should've stay locked up, safe and sound!" Rawk Hawk mocked.

"What kind of trash-talking are you doing now?" Spike questioned. "Wait…did YOU get that security guard to lock us in that locker room?"

Sonic growled. "I knew you must've been behind it all!"

"You're darn right I did! I also sent you that poisoned cake, suckers!"

Link prepared to pull out another rock. "Oh no he didn't!"

"That's what happens when you mess with me, baby! You meet the pain train!"

"So YOU'RE the coward who's been sending nasty e-mails about the Crystal Star!" continued Spike. Rawk Hawk put on a face of true confusion.

"Huh? I have no idea what you're babbling about now. What's a Crystal Star?" Rawk Hawk blinked. "No wait…I DON'T CARE! I may not play exactly fair, but I got skills punks! And now, you're about to meet 'em all baby! Prepare to be RAAAAAAWWWWKED!"

"You wanna Rawk? Let's rock and roll then!" Sonic snickered.

"Bring it on, Sonic!" cheered Link, Goombella, Koops, and Flurrie. Mario waved a foam finger around.

The Blue Blur started the match naturally- with a Spin Dash. Spike followed up with a devastating Ground Pound. He then jumped up and waved to the crowd with a huge smile. Rawk Hawk cackled and performed a Spin Dash on his own, taking 4 away from both Sonic and Spike.

"What the heck was that man?!" Sonic exclaimed, obviously awestruck.

"I certainly didn't see that coming!" Koops commented.

"Took the words right out of my mouth…" Flurrie hummed.

"This is a true Spin Dash!"

He curled up once again, then threw himself at the oversized bird, making sure to hit him square in the nose. Sonic did a small bounce onto the floor, then twirled and wagged a finger to the crowd. Link lifted up a huge sign that said. "GO SONIC!!!!" A Toad behind him snapped and yelled at him to put it down.

Spike jumped into the air, fluttered over, then did a dozen front flips before pounding Rawk in the face.

"STYLISH!" Sonic called out. Spike landed on the ground and waved.

"Thank you-I know I am!"

"Pbth! Not too shabby! You're better than I thought. This might actually be fun!" Rawk stated.

"Uh…thanks?"

"Don't get your head swelled though, 'cause you got a ways to go! Check this out!"

Rawk pointed a finger to the ceiling, looking awfully smug.

"TIME TO RAAAAAWK!"

"Bawk bawk!" the audience mocked.

Rawk somehow floated in the air for a brief moment, then flew into Sonic. Sonic managed to block, but still took quite a bit of damage. Sonic grabbed his shoulder and winced.

"You okay man?"

"Yeah…urgh, something wrong with my shoulder though…must've been that attack!"

"I'll fix it!"

Spike prepared to jump as Sonic put on a look of horror.

"N-no wait-YOW! …it feels better!"

"I am an expert…"

Sonic rolled his eyes and used Action Chain, hitting Rawk Hawk 4 times. Spike trotted up to Rawk Hawk, nabbed him with his tongue, and gulped him. He instantly spat him out.

"EW! He tastes nothing like chicken!!"

"Man you're kinda annoying! How dare you turn the Rawk back on the Hawk?!? I should've just taken care of you before the battle. I'm getting lazy, I guess."

"Surrender, and we'll leave you within an inch of your life!" Spike demanded. Rawk Hawk shrugged.

"Well, since it's come down to this, I guess I got no choice but to…"

He slammed his yellow boots onto the floor, causing a red bar to descend from the ceiling.

"Okay, what is that?"

"Oh no…" groaned Goombella, looking at his entry into the book. "Earth shaker…"

"Is that like Earth Tremor?" asked Koops.

Link shivered. "I sure hope not..."

Rawk Hawk jumped onto the red bar, and started violently shaking, causing random debris to fall on Sonic and Spike. Spike suffered 5 damage and Sonic 4, only because he managed to block some.

"Wow that was a…" Spike trailed, cut off by his panting. Sonic took the time to consider a plan.

"Hmm…you'd better eat a Shroom to gain some health. I can reach him with my Spin Dash, but then you can't attack later on!" Sonic tossed his partner a Super Shroom, which he quickly began to devour.

"Munch chomp…try…nom…Whirlwind…" Spike chewed. Sonic snapped his fingers.

"Good idea!"

"I wanted to throw my rock…" complained Link.

Sonic rapidly ran around in a circle under where Rawk Hawk was hanging, eventually whipping up a mini tornado. He jumped out of the center and struck a pose, arms spread wide and one leg slightly bent.

"STYLISH!"

"H-Hey! What the…" Rawk started, the force of the little tornado pulling him downward. Eventually, all his fingers slipped and he wailed on the way down to the floor.

"Unrgh…"

"It's a pile of chicken!" Link called out, getting laughter from the people around him.

Rawk Hawk grunted. "GRRRRRRR! Bah! I've only just begun to RAAAAAAWK!"

"Well prepare to end the RAWK!" squawked Sonic, super guarding his attack. "Wanna finish him off Spike?"

"God yes!"

With one last stylish Ground Pound, Rawk Hawk fell to the floor. Link literally picked Goombella up and threw her to the floor.

"THAT'S RIGHT SONIC! YOU BURNED THE CHICKEN UNTIL HE WAS FRIED!"

"I think we can quit with the chicken jokes…" muttered Goombella.

"SonicwonSonicwonSonicwon!!!!" chanted Koops.

"NOOOOOOO!" wailed the rawked hawk. "I…Rawk Hawk…the champ…The undefeated master…I've lost to such losers…"

"Pah! The only loser I see is the one on the floor. Sayonara, Rawked Hawk!" Sonic snickered casually.

"Ahahahahahaha! How'd that floor taste?" cackled Spike, slightly more insane than usual.

"Folks, I feel like my eyes just popped outta my head! We got ourselves a miracle! Technique vs. technique! Raw power vs. raw power! A clash of super humans…or animals! Folks, this was truly, honestly, without question, no doubt, absolutely…The most legendary, amazin', improbable, history-makin' 'bout of all TIME!" Grubba ranted.

"Meh, it was exciting…but I liked the fight with Mario better!" shrugged Link.

"And the victory in this match for the ages was…THE BLUUUUE BLURRRRR! Congratulations, Big Blue! Yer the champion, son!!! Give him a hand folks! The new Glitz Pit champ! The BLUUUUE BLUR!"

Sonic raised his arms with the crowd's clapping and cheers, then gave a thumbs up with a wink. The audience was absolutely going insane.

"YES! WE RULE!!! EPIC WIN!" screamed Spike at the top of his lungs. "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!"

Mario: Stars playing "We are the Champions" song while smirking at Sonic's pose.

It was exactly what he would have done.

**Major League Room-**

"YES! THE BELT IS MINE!" Sonic cheered, holding it up above his head. His arms startled to shake slightly. "…and is it ever heavy…"

"So shiny…" awed Link and Koops. Grubba and Jolene continued congratulating him.

"Tell you what: I'm gonna go ahead an' get you set up in the champ's room right away."

Grubba told Jolene to show him where it was, and Grubba disappeared in a hurry. No one took note of it and simply went about their business.

**Champ's Room, after Jolene's Boring Speech-**

"YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! We finally made it Big Blue!" Spike shouted again. Sonic chuckled and rubbed his ear.

"Calm down! I know it's awesome, but there's no need to blast my ears off!"

"Sorry…" then Spike thought of something else. "Y'know, Rawk Hawk sounded really clueless about the Crystal Star…We still don't have any leads on that thing. Where the heck could it be?"

Just then, Link kicked opened the door after showing the guard his special access pass.

"Ohmygod Sonic! Guess what Mario did?" Link chattered, dancing in the doorway. Sonic place a hand on his hip.

"Okay-what?"

"He totally got everyone to hate on Rawk Hawk, and promoted you two-you have even more fans now!!!!"

The moment Mario walked into the room, Sonic and Spike tackled him.

"Thank you so much Mario! You really didn't have to-"

"You rock so hard man! That's so awesome to the infinite power!!" Spike exclaimed, unable to hold the overwhelming excitement in any longer. "If I ever become my own, fighter, I'll call myself the Great Gonzales Jr. in honor of you doing this!"

"Why can't you be the Black Blur?"

"One, that's what people want me to do, and two, I can't be Blue Blur because I'm not blue…"

"Good point."

When the duo finished thanking Mario and backed away, they heard something echo throughout the room.

"Hang on! You guys hear that? A voice is coming from somewhere!" Spike gasped.

"Ghost!" yipped Koops, jumping into Flurrie's arms.

"It's coming from up there!" exclaimed Sonic, pointing to the air vent.

The Mailbox SP suddenly started ringing, and everyone in the room screamed.

"H-H-H-Hey! Do you have to have that thing turned up? That scared me silly!"

"Ha! You guys need more courage…"

"Let go of my arm Link…"

"Read the message!"

_Find the ghost in the champ's room._

_From X_

"There is a ghost!" Koops wailed, shaking uncontrollably. "X even said so!"

"Okay, that is NOT cool! Ghosts are scary!" Spike cried.

"So much for the macho attitude…" muttered Link.

"Oh, get a grip. I bet it's just someone stuck in the vents or something!" sneered Sonic. "Mario…what're you doing?"

Mario had started climbing on top of a pile of presents for Sonic, waving down to everyone. Sonic realized what he was doing while Link noted a gift toward the bottom.

"Hey! This one is for stupid Rawk Hawk!"

He opened the door just as Rawk Hawk was conveniently walking by, hit him in the head, and shut the door. As eager fan girls screamed and waved at Sonic before the door closed, another spotted Rawk Hawk on the floor and sent an angry mob after him.

While everyone else shook their heads, Spike followed Mario and helped him get up to the vent. Mario whipped out his awesome and amazing Super Hammer, twisted up, and made full contact with the vent cover.

"Hey! Wait for us!" Link called, using his height to climb up without help. Spike returned and helped Sonic, while Flurrie carried Goombella and Koops.

"I hope you two know you're becoming dead weight!"

"Just because the Yoshi is cooler than us doesn't mean we're any less important!"

"Hurry up you three!"

**In the Vent seconds later-**

"See? No ghost, no trouble…" Sonic pointed out.

"But I can still hear the sound!"

"Me too!"

Mario made his way through the rest of the air duct, the sound getting louder and clearer with each step. Eventually, Grubba's voice was easily understandable. Everyone froze, either with fear, or actually trying to listen.

"Wow everything got still-"

"Shoosh!"

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Well, THAT'S in perfect condition, as usual! Yep, as long as I got THAT baby workin' fer me, this ol' bod ain't NEVER gonna get weak!"

Everyone put on confused looks, but still held their breath.

"But I'm gonna have to watch my tootsies fer a little bit…first I let that King K ijit walk in on me when I was with…THAT…"

Everyone growled.

"An' now I can't shake the feelin' that Jolene and Gonzales' crew are onto me…Well I guess I'll burn that bridge when the time comes. I'll just disappear 'em! Yep, just like I did to them others…like Prince Mush, the first champ!"

"I heard about him…" Sonic explained under his breath. "The very first champ here…he was so great, everyone wanted to fight him for the honor of losing! Then, one day, he vanished into thin air and then Rawk Hawk saw his chance to be champ…"

"What a loser-Rawk Hawk, I mean…"

"Yeah I know…"

"Wait!" Spike gasped sharply. "So…HE'S behind all those missing fighters?"

"Apparently so."

Grubba started up again. "I better lock this room tighter 'n a peanut butter jar at a squirrel convention! An' I'll just go ahead an' hide the paper relatin' to THAT in the desk drawer…You know what? Since I'm thinking' aloud here… Good fighters ain't nothin' to mess with. Even Rawk Hawk lost to the Blue Blur. This new champ might have to disappear purty soon. For my sake…"

"I knew I was going to be next!"

Sonic was tackled to the floor with 6 pairs of hands.

"Like I'm going to let anything happen to you after the volcano incident…brr…" Link stated.

_"Don't remind me."_

"Huh?"

_"Don't remind me!"_

"I can't understand you with all the hands on your mouth!"

"…"

"Guys! Grubba's gone!" Goombella informed. "Knock down the cover Mario!"

Mario saluted and bashed it down, Link jumping and rolling out, landing in a James Bond pose.

"Link, no one's even in there…" Sonic sighed while rolling his eyes.

"You heard him! Tighter than a peanut butter jar at a squirrel convention! There could be hidden lasers on the floor!"

"If there were, you'd be dead, and I would've sensed it…"

"You rest you case."

"Let's check out that drawer of his…" suggested Koops, climbing down and falling. Once Link was convinced nothing was booby trapped, he headed to Grubba's desk and threw open the drawer.

"Let's see…pen, Star Piece, suspicious paper, stapler-ooh! Piece of gum!"

Mario: Too many mushrooms…

"It's my lack of action okay? I haven't fought since Bowser, Eggman, and Ganondorf attacked the arena, and even then I still wasn't fighting!"

"Well you're better now! Go train or something!" Sonic told him, casually pulling the suspicious paper out of the drawer and handing it to Mario. "You _could_ be owned by me!"

"How about we don't?"

Mario's eye widened at the contents, and everyone gathered to see.

OH NOES!

"Yow! A machine under the ring that uses the Crystal Star? These are the blueprints!" Spike confirmed. Sonic blankly turned to Link.

"…and you were distracted by a piece of gum-"

"It's **bubble** gum!"

"I dunno what the rest of this nerd-talk says but I think the Crystal Star powers it!"

"didn't you just say that?"

"Technically, but not necessarily."

"I see."

"If this paper's right, then the machine can suck the power out of people! Yuck!"

"Okay, that IS nasty…" gurgled Goombella.

"My word! What monstrosity!"

"How is that even possible?"

Spike suddenly clicked. "Oh crud…you think King K and Bandy Andy got all…drained or something?"

Sonic jumped onto the desk and kicked everything off it. "That fiend! He'll pay within an inch of his life!"

"Normally, I'd agree, but isn't that a bit dark for you?" Link questioned.

"Yeah…I'm just setting the mood."

Just then, Grubba opened the door and saw:

A. people in his office

B. reading his secret paper

C. and someone standing on his desk.

Everyone pulled out weapons or took fighting stances.

"GREAT GALLOPIN' GULPITS! How in tarnation did YOU get in here son? Well, slap me an' call me Sassafras! Yer starin' at my secret paper too!"

"Shut up! You make me sick! Why'd you drain King K and Bandy Andy huh?" Spike roared.

"Wow-took the words right out of my mouth. Kid _must_ be my Soul Partner!" Sonic slightly chuckled.

"Whoa, nelly! This ain't good!"

Grubba sped out the door, heading for the arena.

"After him, Big Blue! You too Gonzales and Missing!"

"I retired days ago-I think we can let the "Missing Link" name die down now…"


	38. NotSo Macho Grubba: OWNAGE!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 37: Not-so Macho Grubba: OWNAGE!

The gang had learned Grubba escaped to the arena, and realized it was completely empty.

"Wow…never realized how different it looks without a million people trying to paw you…" Sonic trailed.

"It's so quiet too!"

"There's Grubba."

Mario put on a game face and marched his team up to the stage, where Grubba was waiting with an evil smile. The screen was fuzzy, the lights were going haywire, and Koops thought he was going to have an accident.

"I gotta say, y'all are couple of slack-jawed idiots, sniffin' about my business…"

"What happened to being ijits?"

"Worst time for that question Link…"

"Now that you know my big secret, I'm afraid yer gonna have to take a li'l ol' dirt nap."

"Huh. Whatever happened to keeping the fights clean?"

"Oh what- no one's going to yell at Sonic?"

"_He_ didn't have a random question."

"Everyone's a--hey! _Why isssss the staggggge shhhhhaking!?"_

"WAAAAHHH!!!"

Everyone backed away to the edges of the stage as pieces fell around Grubba. Soon, he sank down with it, and a large machine reappeared.

"Did not see that coming…"

"Up there! The Crystal Star is on the top!"

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! How you like my machine? Pretty dang nice, huh?"

"It looks tacky."

"Yup I've been suckin' power from fighters with this baby! SLUUUUURP!"

"That's…really insane!"

"yer darn tootin'!"

"I know I am!"

"An' you know why? Cause it keeps my bod forever young son!"

The gang was unsure whether to be impressed, afraid, or just sort of crept out.

"You are such a scumbag! You're gonna pay for using a Crystal Star like that!" snapped Spike.

"Oh, just shut yer traps now! I'll use MY Crystal Star however I dang please!" Grubba hissed back. He then did a small chant, and started shaking with the overwhelming power. He suddenly grew 5 times his size and turned into a huge, hulking, orange monster!!! AHHHH!

"MAAAAAAAACHO GRUBBA!!! "

"Yow! Grubba beefed up!"

"I'm at a loss for words…" gulped Link.

"That's a first!" chuckled Goombella.

"There is a huge mutant thing in front of us and you _still_ want to taunt me?"

"Every time's a good time to taunt you!"

Link ignored the following sounds of "Burn!"

Grubba punched his fists together threateningly. "Hoo-WEE! I'm gonna smoosh you guys into guacamole and snack on yer energy too!"

Everyone gulped.

"This is tragic…" Sonic moaned. "I don't have a witty comeback!!!"

"I don't have a pun! WE'RE DOOMED!" Link cried.

"And you tell me to get a grip…" Spike muttered while rolling his eyes.

"I'm a powerhouse now, you pesterin' li'l piece of prairie piffle!" Grubba growled, his massive voice echoing in the huge empty room.

"See, if you're going to insult us, at least make it so we can understand…" Sonic stated, happy he came up with something.

"Let's rock Big Blue! I'm ready to chew this dude up and spit him out!" Spike said, plainly pumped up.

"Stay out of this- this is mine and Mario's fight!" Link stated, sword ready to strike Grubba. "This is for the Crystal Star, and Mario and I are going to get it!"

Sonic tapped on Link's head. "_Hello?_ Remember I promised that I would help you get this Crystal Star no matter what? We'll I'm gonna!"

"But that was back when we thought the Crystal Star was on a belt! Did we really think it was that easy?" Koops put in.

"Even if it wasn't for the Crystal Star I'd still wanna show this grub all I got!" added Spike.

"I've face tougher monsters than this chump! A perfect God of destruction, a huge experiment gone wrong…We've even taken down an invincible mutant koopa together!" Sonic continued. "I'm battling whether you like it or not!"

Link didn't argue anymore.

"60...HP…" Goombella read off nervously. "Attack of four, but no defense-"

"Piece of cake!"

"-can charge attack up to 7, up defense to three, can become dodgy, and double his own number of turns."

"Screwed?"

"Most definitely!"

Mario used spin jump, and Flurrie used Body slam for a total of 9 damage. Mario braced for whatever monster attack Grubba was about to dish, out, but instead Grubba simply struck a pose.

"That's honestly it?" Flurrie questioned.

"Um, he just made the number of turns he uses 2, you know…" Goombella pointed out.

"Let's do some damage Kooper!"

"I am_ not_ Kooper! I'm telling you- I even saw the **real** Kooper!"

"One-I'm so used to Kooper I can't help but call you that, and two-there's no way Kooper could've been in the Rogueport area!!"

"Oh, _forget it…"_

Link used a perfect action command with Jab, pulling off 8 HP worth of pain. Koops pulled into his shell, and Link gave him an extra kick to get going.

"Oh yeah! Keep it spicy! You know I love a good tussle!" Grubba chuckled. "Keep on scrappin' sons…cause it ain't gonna do you much good in the end…"

He then made two muscles, signaling his attack had gone up. He struck another pose, ran backward, then ran up and clobbered Link with a devastating 6 hit. It wore off, and his double turn was going to last for two more turns.

"Finally my turn!" Sonic groaned. He performed a magnificent whirlwind, then Spike did what he said he would and chewed Grubba up, then spat him out. Grubba shook himself off, brought his arms behind his head, and then made more muscles with a huge toothy grin.

"Now his defense is up to three- hardly anything will work!" Goombella called. Mario pulled out his trusty Piercing Blow and winked.

Grubba then pulled the same attack he used on Link on Sonic, but this time hitting the partner instead of the hero.

"Aaaahhh-yow!"

Flurrie, feeling bad for KO-ing him before, used her turn to throw Spike a Shroom.

"There you go sweetie-I hope it helps!"

"Chomp-I think it helped!" Spike replied when his HP was quickly replenished.

Mario used the Piercing Blow on Grubba, doing maximum damage thanks to its defense piercing power, and did three back flips and summoned confetti.

"STYLISH!" chimed Link and Sonic.

Grubba raised his attack, then crashed down on Flurrie. Everything he powered up wore off, and he had nothing special up his sleeve for Link's turn. Link failed his action command for jab, this time only doing four, and Koops slammed his shell again.

"Not too shabby! You guys got showmanship, an' that's GOLD in this biz!" Grubba noted. "But this here battle's just getting' started! It's time I showed you some REAL moves! Back in the day, I had so many rump-kickin; move they had to make some illegal!"

"That must've been a long time ago!"

"You might wanna hold back on the smack talk…"

Grubba raised his arm and yelled, growing even larger than before.

"How big is he going to get?!"

"He'll raise the roof pretty soon…"

He struck his first pose again, gaining his extra turns back.

"Do all you want! You're still under 20 HP already!" Sonic exclaimed confidently.

"Yeah! Our strong moves must be too much for your old, out of style ones!" called Link.

Sonic attacked with a Spin Dash, then Spike followed up with Ground Pound for a combo of 8. Grubba began his turn with a spell to make himself dodgy, then punched Sonic and Spike in the faces with his massive fist. Flurrie went in to Body Slam, but ended up missing.

"Let's just end this Mario!"

Mario nodded and pulled out the ever awesome Diamond Crystal Star. Link and Sonic jumped onto it, and built up power. Grubba gasped.

"You sons have Crystal Stars of yer own?! I'll take 'em and become even more powerful!!"

"You really need to go to a home…" sighed Link, right before the Crystal Star started causing quakes on the ground.

"Ya-hoo!" yipped Sonic. Grubba only suffered 6 damage, leaving him with a measly two. Once again, he beefed up his attack, then let out a battle cry and back flipped into Mario. The rest of the team cringed.

"Ooh…OW!"

Link glared at Grubba as his attack and evasiveness fell. "Time to finish this…_stylishly_!"

"Careful this time!" warned Koops. Link nodded and jumped into the air to perform Hack. It destroyed what was left of Grubba's HP, leaving Spike to start a long speech about how awesome they were. Link landed on his once broken foot, spun around, then slowly raised his sword as he stopped.

"STYLISH!" cheered Sonic, Spike, Koops, Goombella, and Flurrie.

Mario: Oh yeah!!

"Thank you, thank you…" Link bowed. "Nice to know my latest battle has been a success!"

"YAAARGH!!"

Mario, Sonic, and Link all leveled up.

"Oh, it's been so long…" sighed Link, taking HP. Mario chose FP, and Sonic also chose FP.

"Nooo…how could this happen? How could such a perfect bod like mine lose to such chubs?" moaned Grubba, now lying limp in his machine.

"Who are you callin' a chub?!" Sonic snorted.

"Oh…Great Gonzales…Blue Blur…great fight there sons…great fight…uurrggh…"

"Hello? What about the Missing Link?"

"I thought you said to let the name go!"

"I know but I, Link, deserve to be mentioned…"

"Mr. Champion! Mr. Superstar!"

Sonic and Mario blinked and turned around to see Jolene calling them.

"…No. I mean, Mario and Sonic."

"Still! No one gives a hoot about poor ol' Link…"

"Please allow me to offer my earnest thanks for defeating that foul Grubba."

"Ms. Jolene!" all the partners gasped.

"no- It's Santa!"

"Oh with the sarcasm Pouch of Pout!"

"I really have to apologize…I'm so sorry I had to get you involved…" Jolene explained. "But you must understand…I had to learn the truth about this arena by any means. Let me tell you everything."

Usually, Sonic would've made a scene about having to wait and listen, but the sad tone in Jolene's voice made him change his mind.

"I had a little brother once, by the name of Mush. He'd have done anything for me. Our family was always poor, so he came here to become a fighter to support all of us…But he suddenly went missing one day. Our family was inconsolable. I suspected foul play, so I got hired on as the manager and investigated in secret. As I looked for clues about my brother, I accidentally saw Mr. Grubba transform. Seeing what I was up against, I almost gave up hope…and then you guys appeared."

"Sniff…poor little Mush!"

"I know it's sad, but I'm not exactly a tissue!"

"…So I decided to secretly guide you."

"So _you're_ our mysterious X!"

"Correct…It was me. Once I saw all of you fight, I knew you were the only ones you could challenge Grubba."

"Now THAT time she included me!"

Jolene climbed up on the stage and ,with a hint of anger, confronted a near-unconscious Grubba.

"Isn't weird how bad guys lie on the ground acting all dead and tired, and we're perfectly fine?"

"Awfully peculiar."

"Now sir…no not 'sir'! Grubba! I want answers right NOW! What did you do with my precious little brother? You know exactly what I'm talking about! The first champion: PRINCE MUSH!"

"Talk about a plot twist!"

"Urggh…Prince Mush…he…he discovered the secret of…my power-suckin' machine…I had him…urgh…disappear."

Jolene looked like she was about to cry.

"Any which way you look at it…oooh…he ain't around these parts no more."

"…No! I…suspected as much…oh, poor sweet Mush…"

"Gee, she seemed kind of aloof, but she really just loved her bother…" Koops realized.

The Crystal Star suddenly spun around in the machine, summoning incredible power and sparkling with energy. Then out of thin air came a young Toad in a blue costume, with a similar hairstyle to Jolene.

"Whoa…Is this…am I back in the Glitz Pit?" he wondered

Jolene burst out in a happy scream. "MUSH!!!"

She ran over to her brother and wrapped him in a hug.

"Oh…is that really you sis? What're you doing here? I…I was just…"

"There, there Mush…it's okay…it's over…finally…" soothed Jolene.

"Who would've thought a Crystal Star could do that!" exclaimed Link.

"Now…the Crystal Star is yours."

The star flew out of the machine and landed in the middle of everyone.

"We can really take it?" Spike asked.

"It's better that you have it…so that nothing like this will ever happen again."

Sonic was the first one to the star. He picked it up and showed it Spike.

"Is this one real?"

"Of course it is!"

"Just making sure…" he chuckled. He turned to Mario and Link. "I promised I'd get you the star…"

He held it out to Mario.

"…and I did. Take it- this is the entire reason you came here in the first place!"

Mario nodded and let the star swirl around him, then held it up above his head.

"We got a Crystal Star!" announced Link. "Mario's Star Power is now 4, and he can use the special move Power Lift! Yay!"

"…that certainly came from nowhere."

"It seemed so epic at this time."

After a long, and mysterious, trip in the Glitz Pit, they finally had their Crystal Star. Finally. But, what still lay ahead for them?

* * *

**Chapter 3 at last comes to a close- yet we're still far from over! Very, very far. Anyway, tomorrow we have a Peach chapter I had Writer's Block on, and Sunday an entertaining Bowser chapter! :D**

**And Chapter 4 brings a whole new atmosphere to the team... in real life, I ended up getting STUCK in Chapter 4 thanks to all the backtracking, but ironically I like the way I wrote it. So, it all works out at least!**


	39. Finally a Little Action

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 38: Finally a Little Action

Back on the m- I mean, X-naut base, Grodus was plainly peeved at the Shadow Sirens, and Lord Crump, for letting Mario and Link get another Crystal Star.

"Beldam…Tell me. What good are you? You STILL haven't taken care of those Mario and Link characters?"

"Well, yes sorry but…only because they're tougher than we thought at first…"

"You do understand that we X-nauts must open the door first, do you not?"

"Meewee hee hee hee! Well, rest assured we will definitely nail them next time. We have prepared a weapon that will bring them a quick and certain end."

"I trust your words…though I rapidly lose my patience."

"Just leave it to us, sire." Beldam bowed and turned to her sisters. "Let's away, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian!"

She disappeared into the floor, followed by her sisters with a "Uugh…guh…" and "…"

-----

"Do you have any threes?"

"Go fish!"

"Drat…"

Zelda reached for the pile of cards in the center (which the girls found in a locker) and put one in her hand.

"Go Peach."

Peach sighed and glanced at her hand.

"Any twos Zelda?"

"Go fish."

Peach boredly snatched another card as Amy cheered excitedly.

"Only one left!!! Peach, got a queen?"

"Just drew it actually…"

"YES! I WIN-AGAIN!"

Zelda twirled her finger around as Peach stood up and yawned.

"Mmm…no doubt about it, I'm officially bored."

Zelda tossed her cards over her shoulder. "Finally- thought it was just me."

Amy folded her arms and pouted. "You're just mad because you guys haven't won at all!"

"Those awful X-naut things haven't been back to ask about the map…I wonder…is it safe?" Peach wondered aloud. Zelda shuffled the cards.

"Of course it's safe! Mario and Link are in possession of it!"

"That makes me think…" Amy sighed, placing the cards back in the locker. "…whatever happened to Sonic, Samus, and Kirby?"

"Knowing Sonic, I wouldn't be surprised if he managed to catch up with them…"

Amy instantly squealed in happiness. "You're _so_ right!!"

As Peach turned and shook her head, the door whooshed opened once again.

"I hope TEC has an idea to kill our boredom…" Zelda hoped.

"Sore losers!"

**TEC room-**

"Hello Princess Peach, Princess Zelda, and Amy Rose."

"You always call us in without warning TEC, "Peach mumbled.

"But I'm not complaining this time around!" Zelda said with her hands up.

"What is it this time?"

"I would like you to go to where Sir Grodus is and ask him something. I recently obtained specific information that brought an… issue to my attention."

"AH! Finally, a little investigating, eh?" question Amy, rubbing her hands together.

"You ARE the main computer here, right? Why is there anything you don't know?"

"She has a point…" added Zelda.

"Thank you-"

"-which is totally rare."

Peach stared at Zelda for a long time.

"I am unable to know things that are not entered in my CPU or otherwise recorded. That is why I want to know what Sir Grodus is thinking about this issue."

"If only Tails were here…" Amy sighed.

"Even if we try to go and see him, they'll catch us and send us back to the room!" Peach exclaimed.

"Yeah, for a computer, I thought you'd have a better plan," Zelda scoffed.

"That is true. But you will find some soldier's uniforms one floor up. Take the elevator. Once there, you'll all change into a soldier's uniform and enter Grodus' Room, avoiding detection. You will go see Grodus looking like a soldier."

Peach made a slight face and turned away. "You mean I'll be disguised."

"Oh cool! Too bad I don't have my old Ratgirl costume!" stated Amy.

"Oh _please_ don't bring that incident up again…" Zelda begged. "I'm just glad we don't have to play anymore Go Fish."

"I imagine you won't take no for an answer, will you?" Peach muttered without much hope. She really didn't look all that excited. Amy even flinched at her face changing into a glare.

"You imagine correctly."

Amy gripped Peach. "C'mon Peach! Either we go on the life risking mission, or we play more go fish!"

"I'll take the first option, please." put in Zelda.

Peach sighed. "All right, fine, I guess…we will-" She glanced to TEC. "What do you want us to ask this Grodus?"

"I will tell you…"

------

Peach stormed out the door in a huff. Zelda and Amy followed behind with slight unsure looks.

"What in this _world_ is TEC _thinking_?" Peach hissed.

"About you?" snickered Zelda. Peach whirled around into her face.

"I mean honestly! He sure is a weird computer."

"All right! I got the secret agent gear!" Amy exclaimed suddenly, pulling out a pile of spy things.

Both princesses gawked. "What in the…"

"Where did you dig those up!?"

"Found them in the locker. There's a lot of stuff in there!"

Zelda smacked her head while Peach shook hers.

"Well…whatever. Up the elevator we go."

She tapped the small green screen and all three girl stepped in. It took off unexpectedly, leaving Amy falling over with all her gear.

"You can't even stay standing in an elevator…" mumbled Zelda.

"HEY! I'm carrying items necessary to the mission!"

"We're putting on suits and talking to a guy. It's not that complicated."

While Amy pouted, the elevator stopped and Zelda tried to exit, but the door wouldn't budge.

"Gah! We're trapped!!!"

"Please wait just a moment." TEC's voice rang out. "There are currently soldiers in the vicinity."

"…and you thought we were trapped-_pish_…" scoffed Amy smugly. Zelda gritted her teeth with a pulsing red X beating on her forehead.

A small X-naut trotted his way by, then TEC told then where to go. Amy rolled out James Bond style, hammer held like a gun in case of an emergency. Zelda stuck her head out and looked left and right.

"The coast is clear. I repeat, the coast is-"

"We're right here."

"I still feel the need to repeat."

Peach lightly shoved her best friends and stepped out.

"The door is right next door. I hope it won't be too difficult for you!" she huffed. Zelda stood up and dusted herself off.

"Well then!"

She snootily headed into the room (after Amy checked to make sure there weren't any hidden lasers), head held high- until she got a whiff of the room.

"Oh my God…something died of heat stroke!"

"It does stink in here!" Amy gagged, quickly grabbing her nose. Peach, holding her breath, searched through the lockers until she came across a red uniform, a blue uniform with a lab coat, and a red suit with a black mask. One accidental whiff send her to the ground.

"How long have these been here?!"

"Apparently hostile aliens don't own washing machines…" huffed Amy.

"I call the blue suit!" Zelda shouted, quickly snagging it out of the locker.

"Then I get this one!"

Amy pulled out the black mask suit. Peach made a face and held up the final costume.

"Am I really supposed to wear this ugly thing?"

"Yes. That is correct." TEC's voice called out again.

"I'm almost afraid to change…" gulped Amy. "TEC's watching us 24-7..."

Zelda decided to get it over with and jumped into the second curtain, and Amy into the first.

"Hey! I think this suits me!" Zelda admitted. "…and I think it's clean!"

"Lucky you!" grunted Amy. "I seriously think this mask was tossed in a toilet or something!"

"Nasty…" "No need for details!"

Zelda came trotting out, looking like a PhD X-naut- with a clipboard and everything.

"Ah, it emphasizes my smartness…"

"…and this one shows how powerful I am!" Amy called, returning as an Elite X-naut. Peach headed into a booth, and struggled with her uniform.

"I don't know about this…it's awfully tight. And it kind of smells a bit…"

"You have to sort of crouch into the pants!" Zelda tried to help. Amy had to stifle laughter.

"Crouch in the pants…"

There was a loud and furious zipper zip, followed by a sigh of relief.

"Phew! Who knows how, but I got into it. I can barely breathe though…" X-naut Peach stepped out and smirked under the mask.

"I bet I look perfect."

**Outside the room-**

"Okay, let's act natural-" began Amy, until another Elite X-naut stomped by. "OH HI!!!!"

Zelda threw a beaker of something onto her, causing her to scream out. Peach quickly put her hand over the hedgehog's mouth.

"I'm sure X-nauts don't say "OH HI!!!" in a really obvious girly voice!" Zelda hissed under her breath. Peach removed her hand and Amy gave a dark look to Zelda.

"Did you really need to hit me with that acid?!"

"Like I was supposed to know what it was!"

"Then you shouldn't have thrown it in the first place idiot!"

"**_Idiot!?_** My IQ is most likely 200 points higher than yours!"

"I know a mutant fox smarter than you!"

"X-nauts!?! Is there a problem?" the patrolling Elite asked. Zelda and Amy stopped bickering as Peach tried to inch away.

"Uh…no, just doing some…friendly shouting?" gulped Amy.

"Friendly shouting?"

"Yes!" Zelda improvised. "I'm conducting an experiment that I hope will be essential to our plan of domination…"

The Elite X-naut seemed to buy it and nodded, continuing on his stroll. Without another word, the girls snuck the opposite way and entered Grodus' chamber.

"This is where we were first taken!" Amy gasped in a whisper.

"Be careful girls…one false move and bad things could happen…" Peach warned, right before poking Grodus for his attention. "Excuse me…Sir Grodus?"

"Yes, what is it? Speak!" he demanded.

"Er, well…it's about Princess Peach…" Zelda began.

"What do you plan to do with her going forward?" finished Amy.

"Something's wrong with your voices X-nauts…" Grodus pondered.

GULP.

"We…seem to have caught a bit of a bug…" Zelda lied.

"Our throats are slightly sore!"

"Perhaps I have a throat lozenge…no. Well, never mind. Oh, about Princess Peach? I have no interest in what she, or those other women, have to say. Just keep them locked in the room."

"He called me a woman!" Amy beamed.

"Still doesn't change the fact you're barely 13..."

"Shh!"

"But don't ever, EVER treat her roughly. You understand?"

He started to walk away, but Peach stopped him with another question.

"But, uh why…Why in the world are we keeping her here, then?"

"That's none of your business! Don't forget your place you impudent worm! Concentrate on getting the legendary treasure! That is all I require of you. We X-nauts need that treasure to conquer the world!"

_"…and you're not going to because Mario will get it first!"_

"Conquer…the world?" wondered Amy.

"Legendary…treasure?" questioned Zelda.

"What are you blathering about now? Something IS odd about you…"

"N…no, nothing odd. So, roger, or whatever…P-Please excuse us…"

They quickly exited with small yelps, leaving Grodus squinting and thinking.

**Dressing room-**

"Oooh…that was unnerving…" breathed Peach.

"My back hurts from the intensity!" Amy moaned.

"Mine hurts from this monkey suit! I'm putting my dress back on!"

Zelda had changed in the blink of an eye, followed immediately by Peach and Amy, going on about how they'd never wear anything but their dresses. Zelda snorted that people needed to change sometime, and all three made their way back to TEC's room.

They were almost caught by the X-naut, but luckily Amy had a can of pepper spray…

**TEC's Room-**

"TEC! You terrible machine! So your goal was to conquer the world, is it?" Peach accused the moment they stepped in the room.

"Way to blame technology for the end of the world…" muttered Zelda.

"Of course. After all, I was built for that purpose."

"Let's beat him to scrap!" suggested Amy, ready to do some serious smashing.

"Conquering the world…how could you…" Peach trailed, sadness edging her voice. TEC felt awfully strange about seeing Peach upset.

"Princess Peach, and your friends, allow me to ask you something. Do you like the worlds you live in? There are many problems, many sorrows. Do you like such a world?"

Amy and Zelda looked down.

_"Not liking our world…taking it for granted…"_ Zelda nearly whispered. "It was the reason we all learned to teleport in the first place. Me, Amy…Link, Sonic, Kirby and Samus…"

Peach turned to them. "Really?"

Amy's voice slightly quivered. "Yeah. Whenever Sonic left to go on inter-dimensional adventures, I started getting tired of my world too…and one day, I was so fed up with it, I slammed my hammer into the ground and the next thing I knew…"

"…She had teleported into my castle." concluded Zelda. "And you can well imagine what happened to _me _after that…"

"But what exactly is there to hate about your worlds?" Peach questioned. "There's always something going on there, you say the landscape is beautiful, and I bet all the people back there are missing you."

Zelda sighed and placed a hand on Peach's shoulder. "You've never teleported- you wouldn't understand."

"More importantly, there's nothing to hate about your world. Everyone is so nice…"

"…trouble isn't always trying to kill you…"

Both girls exchanged glances. "…and it never seems to get old."

"Yet, you still forget the sorrow…no world exists without problems. Peach, you honestly like your world? Your friends seem to see the light…" TEC pointed out.

"Of course I do! Nobody likes everything about the world, but I love the good parts!" Peach exclaimed. "There are many sorrows, sure…but there is also joy."

"…and just because we don't like our worlds very much doesn't mean we want you X-nauts taking over them!" shouted Amy.

"…is that so." pondered TEC.

"Yes it's so!" Zelda snapped. "We're not heart…driveless!"

"Tell me! Will the Crystal Stars help you conquer the world? And what's this treasure?" questioned Peach.

"I am afraid I cannot answer. Answering those questions is prohibited by Sir Grodus."

"Oh well…I must at least inform Mario about this awful plan for world domination…"

"TEC. Let us use your communicator." Zelda requested.

"Yeah! I wanna try sending Sonic a message!" cheered Amy.

"I suppose I can allow that."

Once all three female prisoners had typed up their messages, TEC sent the message successfully to Mario. TEC sent them back to their room, and they walked away slightly reluctantly. Peach had turned to TEC, but said nothing, and was the last one to leave.

"Good night, Princess Peach…"

------

Zelda groaned and tumbled onto the bed. "So tired…"

"That's the most we've done in days!" Amy responded. "Do you-"

"I do **_not_** want to play Go Fish!"

"I was going to say Crazy 8's actually…"

Peach entered the room, looking a bit tired herself.

"How about we just go to bed, huh?"

"I'm down with that!" muttered Zelda, turning over and automatically going to sleep. Amy continued to play with her cards, and Peach simply sat on the floor, thinking about anything there was to think about before dozing off…


	40. The Hag vs Hag Battle

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 39: The Hag vs. Hag Battle

After the embarrassing turn of events in Petalburg, Bowser, Eggman, and Ganondorf took their machines to the next destination: The Great Boggly Tree.

"All right! I _know_ there's a Crystal Star here!" Bowser roared excitedly, parking his Kar.

"According to ancient Puni transcripts, the Crystal Star has been passed from elder to elder for generations under high protection!" explained Eggman. "It's bound to be here!"

"Then let's get this over with already!" huffed Ganondorf, opening the door into the tree.

Two Punies were having a chat when the three villains thundered dramatically into the room.

"Th-Those things are…humongous!" one squeaked. "Everybody! HIDE!!! NOW!!!! Save yourselves!"

As Eggman and Ganondorf were ready to execute the Punies, Bowser started growling to himself.

_"Stupid, cheating Mario…who would've thought those fools would've been in Glitzville…"_

"Did you say something, your Rudeness?" Kammy asked.

"Uh, no! Nothing at all, as far as you know!" Bowser quickly retorted.

"Yeah, we weren't in Glitzville ahead of our storyline or anything…" hummed Ganondorf.

"…and we _didn't_ get owned by Sonic, Link, and Mario…" mumbled Eggman. Bowser coughed.

"Ahem, anyways…did you see those little bite-sized shrimps? What were those things?"

"Those were some Punies. One of them should know about the Crystal Star," Kammy explained.

"Which should be the elder, by the way…" Eggman added.

"Well you heard her! Cause some terror!"

"Oh yeah!" hurrahed Ganondorf, hands igniting in a mild purple. "FEAR THE DARK KING!"

The terrified Punies let out small shrieks as he went berserk and blasted dark magic in every direction. He ended up hitting Eggman, and knocked him to the ground.

"Watch it you-"

"Don't tell me to watch it!"

Eggman suddenly pulled out a ray gun weapon. "How about now?"

"Idiots! Stop threatening to kill each other and help me find the stupid elder Puni!" howled Bowser.

"Fine…"

"No need to be harsh…"

"I'm EVIL! I have every reason to be harsh!"

"Then we have every reason to be killing each other!"

"Hey!" Kammy shouted. "Check that bush way over there!"

"You mean this one?" Bowser asked, only to end up tripping over it. Eggman and Ganondorf belted out in laughter, causing the Puni Elder to jump out in defense. Bowser scrambled to stand up before she saw him on the ground.

"It's almost kinda cute-"

"BE GONE!!!" she shouted, making Eggman fall over and Ganondorf and Bowser gawked at how fast she managed to grow.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Ganondorf gaped, walking backward with his hands raised.

"That defied every law of nature!" Eggman guffawed, scrambling in a crabwalk. The Elder was quickly joined by Punio, Petunia, Puniper and Jabble, managing to back the baddies against the door.

"You're one of them, aren't you? One of those evil do-ers! You want our crystal Star!"

"That would be 2/3 correct…" Eggman confirmed.

Kammy proudly strode up. "Ha! See?!? I KNEW it! This ugly thing knows where the Crystal Star is! Tell us!"

"HOW RUDE!" Elder shouted and grew again, this time sending Kammy into a frenzy. "'Ugly thing"? How DARE you, you wretched crone! I am the great Puni Elder!"

"EEEEEP! My heart! Don't startle me like that! I'm too old for this stuff!"

"You're BOTH too old! HA!"

"It's hag vs. hag! Awesome!"

"….."

"…Ahem? Yes Lord Bowser? You look as if you're just dying to say something." Kammy pointed out. Bowser had wanted to comment on Eggman and Ganondorf's comments, but he decided it was better not to.

"Uh…nope! Nothing!" He turned back to the elder. "Let's move on, shall we? You! Elder-hag thing! Where's the Crystal Star? And don't try pulling rank again: your answer, not your age, will determine your fate."

"Hmph! "Hag-thing"? Honestly!"

"We're getting nowhere with this…" sighed Eggman.

"Time to use a little FORCE!" yelled Ganondorf, charging up Power.

"…In any case, you're too late! The Crystal Star is gone!"

"HUH-WHAT?!?" Bowser boomed.

"So much for force…" grumbled Ganondorf, Power fading away.

"Impossible!" Eggman declared.

"That's right, you rude things! We gave it to a mustachioed man and a large elf named Marty-O and Lint-Kuh! They said they were collecting the legendary treasures to rescue some princesses and a hedgehog… What did they call one? Princess Pinch? Yep! He was off to save that lucky lass!"

"It's "MARIO" and "LINK" not "MARTY-O" and LINT-KUH"! and it's not "Princess Pinch", her name is Princess Peach!" Kammy explained rather violently.

"If you're going to help a bunch of goody-two shoes then at least get their names right…" snickered Ganondorf.

"She's too old to remember!"

Kammy continued. "…but your senility is beside the point. The girls and the treasures must be connected!"

"They think they can get it all!" howled Eggman. "Treasures, girls…does their greed never end?!"

"You can stop making that face now, you know…" Ganondorf told Bowser, snapping his fingers in front of his face. Bowser returned to and whirled toward his gang.

"The jackals! Both Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars belong to me! MEEE!"

"Don't you mean _all_ the girls?" Eggman wondered.

"…and don't you mean the Crystal Stars belong to_ us_?" questioned Ganondorf.

"Yeah yeah…but what really matters is that if we find them, we're going to finish them off once and for all. I SWEAR IT!" Bowser howled.

"Didn't we already try that…and lost?"

_"Shush. Technically we didn't fight them yet."_ Eggman hissed under his breath. _"What really matters is what were going to do with Bowser! I can't take him anymore! He's an idiot!"_

"Stick with it, Eggy. This plan has to work…"

"Don't call me Eggy! Do you know how many times I have to hear that?!"

"Yes. That's why I call you that."


	41. The Adventure is Still On!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 40: The Adventure is Still On!

Back at the Pit, Mario, Link, Goombella, Koops, and Flurrie were saying good-bye to everyone. Strangely, Sonic and Spike were nowhere to be found.

"So now you must leave…" sighed Jolene, standing in front of Rawk Hawk, The Adonis Twins, Bandy Andy, and King K.

Mario: Oh yeah! *nods*

"I understand. If you must, you must. We won't delay you. I hope you succeed in finding the rest of the Crystal Stars. Good luck!"

"Gonzales, Missing,…I wanna tell you…Rawk Hawk ain't gonna fight dirty anymore. I'm gonna hit the weights, take some vitamins, and win the title fair and square! And I'm never, EVER gonna lose again. Remember: when life rocks you, RAWK BACK!"

"Glad to see you've changed your ways…" mumbled Link, rubbing his ears.

"Listen, G-money…thanks for everything man. You're the nicest dude I ever met, and if you ever need it, I got your back." King K stated.

"Aw what? No compliment for me?"

"You're not exactly the nicest person sometimes Link…"

"Take that back, you jerk!"

"See?"

"…"

"I think I'm gonna chill here and improve my skills. King K's back baby! And it's all thanks to you, dog! You're my boy Mario!"

Mario: ;)

"Now that Grubba's out of the picture, I'm going to take over running the Glitz Pit," explained Jolene,

"Awesome! That's great!" cheered the partners.

"If you ever decided to return to the ring, just come back! I'll keep your spot open. You have tons of fans, and they'd absolutely love it if you made a comeback!"

"But mine's gone…" Link sobbed. "Aw well. Wrestling isn't really my thing anyway."

"Anyway, think it over okay? And travel safe!"

Mario: *salutes* Okay!

"Bye everyone!"

**Outside-**

"Wow! After all that, I almost forgot that we're still on a way bigger adventure!" exclaimed Link. "We still have 4 Crystal Stars to find!"

"We'd better get back to Rogueport Mario!" added Koops.

"To the Thousand Year Door!" Goombella cheered.

"Yeah, let's go…"

"What's wrong _now_ Link?"

"It looks like Sonic isn't coming with us after all…it was nice to see him though…" Link glanced to the ground. "But he didn't even say good-bye…"

"_Me?_ Not say good-bye? What kind of a friend do you think I am?"

Link turned around and broke into a joyful grin. "Sonic!"

"That's the name- it'll never wear out!" Sonic smirked, standing right in front of them now.

"Did you come to say good-bye?" asked Koops.

"Nope!" Sonic replied with a grin. Everyone's faces fell. "…because Spike and I are coming _with_ you!"

Spike stylishly jumped out of nowhere, and everyone burst into cheers. While the partners excitedly talked to Spike, Link ran up to Sonic.

"You're _seriously_ coming with us?!"

"Of course! It's time for me to get a little change of scenery…you know I don't like staying in one spot for very long!"

"But what about your career and the other fighters?"

Sonic folded his arms and kept on smirking. "I already said good-bye to them, and I told them not to mention me while saying good-bye to you guys! Pretty cool huh? I also grabbed a quick Chili Dog before the trip…"

Link had to stop smiling because his cheeks were killing him, and ended up talking Sonic all the way onto the blimp. After Mario and Sonic showed the Cheep Cheep their tickets, they climbed aboard and flew back to Rogueport.

-----

"…and there's this giant, magic door too!" Link continued to explain on the way off. Sonic was rubbing his head and held up his hand.

"Okay! I asked for a brief summary, not an entire encyclopedia!"

"Sorry- excited…"

Once they returned to the main land via pipe, Mario instructed that they head to the door instantly.

"I'll agree with you on that one! So...how do we get there?"

"The Thousand-Year door is in the sewers, which are actually the remains of the town that was destroyed!" Goombella explained. Sonic nodded.

"Impressive!"

After leaving the station, Mario's SP started shaking.

"Gonzales! You got an e-mail!" Spike pointed out.

_Dearest Mario,_

_I have uncovered something terrible. These things…the X-nauts…They're planning to take control of the world! It's to that end that they're searching for the Crystal Stars. I still don't know what the Crystal Stars do, but you must try to get them all. I and the other girls will try and gather what information we can…_

_Princess Peach_

"Wait...the GIRLS got kidnapped again?!" Sonic gaped.

"Yeah, right after you three left me _deserted_!" Link half explained, half snorted.

"Sorry, sorry…forgot…"

"Those dudes wanna rule the world? That would stink!" Spike stated.

"Hey! There's something from Zelda and Amy Rose this time!" Goombella saw. Link was by her side in two steps.

"Lemme see!"

_Dear Link,_

_I know Peach must have already told you about the whole "world conquering" situation, so I won't rant about that, but TEC, some lovesick computer, made me realize something…we haven't been on our own world, doing our own thing for a really long time. When was the last time we weren't with our other world friends? Maybe after this vacation we can all split up and chill for awhile-because I think that'd be the _real_ vacation…_

_Princess Zelda_

"Oh, not her too!" whined Link.

"She does have a point…" Sonic pointed out.

"What are you saying man?!"

"We haven't been without each other in weeks-maybe even two months or more at the most! As much as I enjoy hanging out with you guys, it might be nice to see how home is doing without me- maybe it even changed! But we wouldn't know that, now would we?"

Link stayed silent.

"…besides, Tails has been missing me, and I hate leaving him like that, especially the last time I saw him…"

Sonic then motioned for the e-mail, and he read Amy's.

_HI SONIC!_

_I hope you found Mario and Link by now- because it'd be weird if you weren't and they read this instead…I MISS YOU! Please hurry up and save us! I can't stand it here anymore, and the others are being jerks and won't play Go Fish with me…only because I'm just so good at it! Hope to see you soon!_

_Amy Rose_

"Well that was weird…" Sonic muttered, handing the device back to Mario. "I'm surprised the entire note wasn't 'Sonic! Sonic! Sonic!'"

"You know I had a Crystal Star once…" Link bragged, walking into the West Side and changing the subject. "It was an amazing color too and-!"

"Hey! Luigi!" Sonic suddenly pointed out, everyone quickly leaving Link and his story behind.

"Oh yeah! Nothing important from me at all! Nope!" Link complained.

They caught up with Luigi, standing next to a bright red Cherry Bob-omb and Malon with Blooey.

"Hi everyone!" she called. "See Link? I'm not dead-"

_"-Yet."_

"Oh, with the negativity!"

"How was your guys' time in Plumpbelly Village?" Koops asked.

"MalonI**really**don'tthinkweshould-"

"Oh it was _so _interesting! Do you wanna hear?"

"Yes I do…" Link replied squinting at the green plumber. Mario said they had time.

**One unsure and slightly shaky half hour later…**

Link had fainted from the danger and trauma Malon had been in, Sonic was the only one intently listening, and everyone else was sleeping.

"Wow! I can't believe you're alive after all that…" Sonic commented.

"Neither can I…" Blooey grumbled.

"Now we're off to Circuit Break Island!" Luigi cheered. "…we'd better leave before Link comes to though…"

"Understood. Good luck!" Sonic called.

"Wedding dress…" muttered Jerry. "Skirt…"

"Get over it Jerry…"

As Luigi's team headed off, Link came to and the gang woke up.

"Where's Luigi?! I'm gonna kill him!"

"Gone. He left while you were sleeping."

"Grr…I shall get him next time!!"

"We still need to get to the Thousand Year Door though!"

"Let's-a go!"

**Thousand Year Door (after locating Shine Sprites on a roof, in an alley, and in between the secret pipes to Petalburg and Boggly Tree, leveling up Spike, and bashing the large yellow block and revealing a spring)-**

"That IS a huge door!!!" gasped Sonic. "It's bigger than Eggman! And it…smells more ancient too."

They all climbed onto the pedestal, the blue aura glowing beneath their feet.

"Raise the Crystal Stars guys!" Spike urged. They stood on the very middle; Mario holding up the Diamond Star, Link the Emerald, and Sonic the Gold. The lights lit up, circling around the area and displaying an array of patterns. The Gold Star was the next navigator, and pointed out the Ruby Crystal Star in a steeple deep in a forest. A glass-shattering noise was heard, and the map fell back into Mario's hands.

"Hey! That shows where the fourth Crystal Star is! Can't that Frankly guy read it?" Spike asked. "That'd be cool, but first we'd better tell him what Princess Peach's email said right?!?"

"I _suppose_ world domination IS a serious matter…" pondered Link.

"We're just too used to it." Sonic added with a small shrug.

**Frankly's House-**

"WHAAT?!?!" Frankly belted out. "The group that kidnapped Princess Peach and her friends are bent on **total world _conquest_**?!?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up," Sonic said simply.

"You got THAT right! That's why those jerks need that legendary treasure!" Spike added for emphasis.

"Hrmm…this doesn't bode well. The situation has gotten far more serious than I thought!"

"Explanation?" Link required.

"Let me bring you up to speed. I've been researching just what this treasure could be…One book I came across held to what I thought was a preposterous theory…The book claimed that the "treasure" was, in actuality, the great cataclysm…the very cataclysm that, a thousand years ago, sank that town underground!"

"Holy!" gasped Link. "…who knew a chest could hold all that power?"

"So these jerks think the power of that cataclysm will help them rule the world?!?" Spike asked.

"Just what I was about to ask!" agreed Goombella.

"I can't say for sure what they will do or why, but we must consider the possibility. Now that things have come to this, we mustn't let them near the legendary treasure!"

"Of course we're not! That's the whole point of all this!" Link exclaimed. "…at least after we discovered this was more than just a treasure hunt…"

"That's all that matters. Because if they do get to it, then once again, this town…no…the ENTIRE WORLDS could be destroyed!"

"Yikes."

"My only question is if this…cataclysm only managed to destroy a town, how could it destroy every last world?" questioned Sonic.

"That's beyond our control…"

"Well, where's the next Crystal Star in the meantime?"

"Hrmm…according to the map, it appears the next Crystal Star is in Twilight Town."

"Twilight Town?" everyone asked simultaneously.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know much about the place myself. Only rumors. I have heard that, as the name implies, it's perpetually dim and eerie there. …wait just a moment…"

Frankly waddled over to his many books and pulled a specific one out.

"Ah-HA! There appears to be a pipe to Twilight Town somewhere here in Rogueport. If you get stuck for any reason, just come back and see me again, ok?"

"O-kay…"

"Under the in the west part of town? Check!"

**West Part of Town-**

Mario came to the drain in the road, and used his curse to get his team underground.

"Whoa…that's sweet!" Sonic stated.

"Yeah, I know…" sighed Link.

"That's seriously supposed to be a curse?" snickered Spike.

"Let's stop talking about it, shall we?"

Sonic raised an eyebrow, but didn't question any further. Spike flew everyone to the left of where they landed, Link collected another Shine Sprite, and they entered a small green door.

"Hmm… "Pipe to Twilight Town." Must be it." Sonic read.

"Then off to Twilight Town we go!" Link called, leading everyone down the pipe and onward to the next Crystal Star…until the pipe rejected them.

"All right. What the heck?" Goombella groaned.

"Stupid pipe! Mario! You're a plumber- plumb it!" demanded Link. Mario magically pulled out a plunger and tried to unplug it, but nothing was even in there!

"No!"

Link tried to jump in again, but the pipe violently spat him back out.

"Obviously you're not getting in Link…" Sonic sighed.

"It couldn't hurt to try!"

"Well whatever are we going to do now?" Flurrie wondered.

"Didn't Frankly say that if anything went wrong to go back and see him?" suggested Koops.

"Convenient…"

"Too convenient…"

**Back at the Profs.-**

"Yo Prof.!" Spike instantly shouted as soon as the door swung open. "We found your pipe, and that thing's all stopped up!"

"Not even Mario could fix it!" Link wailed dramatically. Mario made a blank face.

"We tried and tried, but we can't break through it! Got any drain cleaner?"

"He totally stole my joke!" complained Link.

"It couldn't have been yours because it was actually a good one!"

"Burned by Goombella-again!"

"Dissed."

"Quiet Koops…"

"What? You can't get through the pipe you say? How odd…Hrmm…I'm afraid I haven't the foggiest idea of what you should do."

Everyone: Epic Groan!

Frankly: !

"Oh! Of course! I've heard that a fellow from Twilight Town lives here in Rogueport. If anyone knows how to get through that pipe, it'll be him. His name was uh…Dang. What was it? Ah yes! The lover of dark places! Darkly!"

"How the heck could you forget a name like that?"

"I've seen him loitering right here in this part of town in the past. Look for Darkly!"

**Outside-**

"All right! Any ideas?"

"Well…I think we should check behind the alley!" Link suggested.

"What are you talking about? It's blocked off by a wall!" retorted Sonic.

"Actually that's where we found Link in the first place…" Goombella explained.

Sonic walked over to said wall and stood by it. "There's no way! See- I'll even tap it!"

He reached out to tap it, only to end up rolling into the hidden area. Mario and Link expertly slipped through the opening and helped Sonic up.

"So much for your trap senses!"

"That technically wasn't a trap!"

Spike, out of curiosity, took a quick scan around, and located a shady fellow standing behind a trash can.

"Hey! I found somebody!"

Seeing as attention was being called to him, the mystery man spoke up.

"Hi there! The name's Darkly. You guys need something?"

"We gotta get through the pipe to Twilight Town!" exclaimed Link.

"Total top secret saving the world official business…"

"Couldn't be easier! You just need to have something that has your name written on it. Don't you have anything that has your name written on it? C'mon, everyone does!"

"That'd be a no…"

"Ok. Hang on. I'll write if for you. What's your name?"

Mario: It's-a me Mario!

"I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"…and I'm Link!"

Cue the cricket.

"…No applause? Fine then…"

"Ok! I'll write your name on the seat of your overalls…M-A-R-I-O right?"

Mario turned around and let Darkly scribble his name.

"All right…" Darkly trailed, now turning to Sonic. "I'll write your name on your tail-"

"What?! No you're not!" Sonic guffawed. "Um…write it on the side of my shoe!"

Darkly shrugged, and Sonic held up his foot for it to be signed.

"Sonic is _such_ an easy name to spell…so, how is "Link" spelled?"

Link smacked his head. "Dude! My name's probably easier than Mario and Sonic's combined! L-I-N-K!"

"Oh…had to make sure it wasn't L-U-H-E-N-K-U-H…"

Link sweat dropped. "Yeah…just write it on my hat…"

"Can do!" After an intense moment of making sure he spelled "Link" right, Darkly pulled away.

"There! Perfect-a-mundo! While I'm at it, I'll write your partners' name too." He first turned to Spike. "What's your name?"

"Spike, baby!"

Darkly began to write on his pants. Spike slightly twitched.

"Hey! Watch where you're drawing buddy!"

"Sorry, sorry…"

He then wrote on Goombella's hat, Koops' hood, and on Flurrie's necklace.

"I'll be rooting for you!" Darkly called when he finished, sending them on their way.

"Like anything's going to go wrong in the first place…" scoffed Spike, slightly wincing.

**Back at the Pipe-**

Well, here we go…" breathed Sonic. Everyone climbed into the pipe, and miraculously it had worked...

What could possibly lay ahead for them now?


	42. For a Pig the Bell Tolled

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 41: For a Pig the Bell Tolled

_In a dark, gloomy town…with a pink-orange gradient sky…with one heck of a huge moon…rested residents under a twisted curse. With witchy trees and shadows blocking them from the outside world, none knew what went on in this town of twilight…_

"Well that's a _great_ way to start Link…"

"Well it IS creepy here…"

"Hey…" a twilighter called. "It's been a long time since anyone's come from…outside. You come from far away?"

"Farther than you know…" replied Sonic. The guy looked everyone up and down.

"Yeah, those clothes of yours…I'm pretty sure you guys must be…adventurers! Right?"

"Ah, someone understands…" Link sighed.

"This is a bad time to arrive. Wait, but you're adventurers! Maybe this is the perfect time to arrive!"

"Wait, what? A "bad time"? What do you mean by that? C'mon! Tell me!" pleaded Spike.

"Oh gee whiz, I dunno…It's a scary tale to hear. And scary to tell too."

"I love scary tales!" Link said, slightly creepily.

Suddenly, a bell rang out, and the guy put on a look of horror.

"Oh no! The bell rang again! Oh…this is so awful…Who could it be now?"

Before everyone's very eyes, their friend had been…pig-ified.

"Oink-oink-oink!!!"

"Whoa! That was the craziest thing I've ever seen! What's going on in this weirdo town?" Spike wondered.

"I don't know if I wanna find out…"

"We're all going to become hogs!"

"Ahem, what's wrong with a hog?"

"I didn't mean hedgehog…"

"Oh, badness…Now poor Freddy got turned into a pig…not good…" an elder voice recited.

"Who are you Gramps?" snorted Spike.

"Sheesh Spike…a little more rude?"

"I was just asking…"

The man didn't appear offended. "I'm the mayor of this poor town. Some call me Dour. I'm not exactly the sharpest fellow, but I do believe you're adventurers, right?"

"We guess…"

"This isn't the place for the telling of tales. Come. Come to my home."

Everyone shrugged and followed the tattered man into his home, looking at the deserted town running amok with pigs.

"My traveling friends…Welcome to Twilight Town. Well, I'd LIKE to welcome you…But welcoming people is usually a good thing, and there's nothing but bad here."

"Well yeah! A guy just poofed into a pig!"

"As you may have guessed…our town has been cursed."

"Whoa!?! Cursed!?!"

"Yowzers…"

"Yes, cursed. You see…Beyond town is a forest, and in its heart is an ancient building, the Creepy Steeple. The dark creature who live there…it's curse ordains that when the steeple bell rings, one of the twilighters living here in the village… becomes a pig."

Mario jumped while everyone else made fearful faces.

"ZOMG!"

"Talk about screwed by the bell…"

The mayor started to sigh.

"Will my loved ones turn swine? Will I, too, become a curly-tailed oinker? I'm so worried, I can't sleep at night. Of course, night and day are pretty similar here…If this keeps up, well, the village will be one giant pigpen. Which would be bad."

"Wow…you guys have no enthusiasm whatsoever!" exclaimed Koops.

"Let me give you some advice. Leave us! Leave before you, too, become…piggified, just like that one little fellow…"

Before anyone could ask who the fellow even was, Spike boldly strode up.

"That's not gonna happen Gramps. We're looking for something really important. Maybe you've heard of it. It's a star-shaped rock called a Crystal Star."

"Yeah, we need it to save the world!"

"Uh…I don't know anything about any Crystal Star thing…but in Creepy Steeple…There's a glittery red stone shaped like a star."

"Whoa! Are you serious? That's gotta be the Crystal Star! Gotta be!"

"Aw man! We have to go to the Steeple?! I don't think they call it creepy for nothing!" whined Link.

"Uh…you people…you aren't thinking of going to Creepy Steeple are you?!?" gasped Dour. "Brrrrrrrrrr…unthinkable…"

"Yeah, let's take the old man's advice and not go after all!" the swordsman suggested.

"Oh…is the bearer of the Tri-force of Courage scared of a little Halloween House?" mocked Sonic.

"I'm not scared! I'm just creeped out…"

"Isn't that the same thing?" smirked Goombella.

"No it is not."

**East Twilight Town-**

"So we just need to keep going east to get to the Steeple right?"

"That's what the map says!"

"I don't know about you guys…" Link began, heading for the store. "…but if we're going to fight a dark monster in a creepy steeple, then I want supplies!"

"He has a point…" Koops decided, following him in. The others decided to wait patiently outside, until a bloody murder scream broke out from the store.

Sonic had kicked down the door and was inside within a second after that.

"Where's the fire?!"

"There's no fire…" Link moaned dramatically. "…the problem is, there's no items!!! The horror! I** hate** this town!"

Mario: Sometimes I worry…

"I'd be more worried about the woman staring at the pig!"

"I have never seen a store so empty…it's so tragic…"

"Okay, he needs a moment…" sighed Sonic. "Hey lady! What's up?"

"Oh, a customer…sniff…I'm sorry, we're not open right now. Sniff…"

"See Link? You can stop crying now…"

Mario: Why are you crying?

The lady sniffled again. "My husband's been turned into a pig. A pig…He went to the woods yesterday to collect herbs…but no husband came home…Instead, a pig returned! This pig!"

"Sounds horrible."

"We got in a fight before he left, and I had called him a chauvinist pig…and now he really is a pig, sniff…but he has a really sweet side too, like cooking my favorite food on my birthday. And when shoppers get rude, my husband escorts them out in such a manly way, y'know?…

**Several "y'know"s, and something about cola money, drying underwear on radiator, drinking from the carton, changing something, and other random blah later…**

"So, ummmmmm…are you even listening?"

Everyone was in a pile sleeping on the floor. Mario, buried under everyone, suddenly snapped up, and like dominoes everyone followed suit.

"So hey…could you figure out some way to restore my husband back to normal?"

"Why not?"

"Wait…what's in it for us?"

"I'll do whatever I can to help…" the shop keeper moaned sadly, yet still kindly. "You can even take anything in the storeroom that might help, y'know?"

"Well, that's nice of you and all but…the door is locked…" Sonic pointed out.

" Y'know?" added Link, getting background snickers.

"My husband must've taken the key with him and lost it in the woods…sniff…"

The gang exchanged glances.

"Well…what's our next move?" asked Koops.

Mario shrugged.

"We could hunt down that key?" suggested Goombella.

"I thought we needed to go to Creepy Steeple?" Sonic inquired with an eerie tone.

"There's no rush in that. Now let's go find a key…" ushered Link. He instantly marched out the door, forgetting the fact he had been crying over an empty store only moments ago. The rest of the group followed him, only to be instantly stopped by a gatekeeper.

"Oh, not with the whole "Gate to keep out a monster, ask mayor for permission" thing again!" complained Link.

"Isn't that kinda clichéd?" added Spike. "You've gotta be kidding me. C'mon, let's go ask."

"You know, maybe it really is a threatening monster this time!" Koops pointed out on the way back to the mayor's house. "If the monster in a peaceful meadow was a rock who gave a quiz show, then think of what a monster in the darkest part of a creepy forest might be!"

"He's got a point!"

"he has no point! That's the lamest thing I've ever heard!"

"the lamest thing I ever heard was that bell again…"

Everyone froze just in time to hear the after-ring of the cursed bell.

"Doesn't that mean someone's gonna…" Spike started. Sonic suddenly fell onto the ground.

"Ah…oh no! Thinking…about bacon…OINK!" he snorted, rolling around, trying to scoop up mud. "I'm going pig!"

"No! Sonic's the next victim!" Link gasped. "Sonic, NO!!!"

"Nah, I'm just kidding…" Sonic chuckled, getting back up. "I'm just trying to prove how paranoid you are about all of this."

"I should kick you!!!"

"But you won't-and couldn't if you tried."

Link scowled darkly while the rest of the partners shook in terror.

"B-Boy, I'm psyched it wasn't my turn to get pigged…" gulped Spike.

"I know this might sound selfish, but I'm really glad it wasn't me…" agreed Goombella.

"I feel ya sister."

"OINK!!!"

"Sonic, enough with the act…"

"That wasn't me…"

A pig suddenly rammed into Link's leg, then Sonic's, and then tackled Mario.

"Whoa! Where did this pig come from?" Link wondered, picking it up. It snorted happily. "Hey…is everyone here?"

All of Team Mario was accounted for.

"Then it isn't one of us…" Sonic shrugged off, and Link proceeded to place it back down.

"All right little fella! Get going-we have to save you!"

"OINK!"

Translation: No.

It stayed strictly by Mario's side, gave an odd look to Sonic, and an apologetic glance to Link. The pig nudged Mario's leg, as if to tell him to get going.

"Well THIS isn't awkward…"

"Are we bringing the pig?"

"Apparently so."

"Listen up pig!" Link began, crouching down to its level. "We have no idea who you are, but since you're so willing to join us, I'll guess we can let you-but no getting in the way, all right?"

The pig nodded.

"Good! Let's get to the mayor's house…

**Mayor's House-**

"ZOMG! A pig!"

"Why is it in the mayor's house?" Koops wondered.

"Maybe because…it IS the mayor?!"

"Calm down…just wondering…"

"What're we gonna do now? We need that dude's OK to get through the gate!" Spike groaned.

"What do you think pig?"

"Oink oink."

"Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say."

"Look, let's just go to the gate keeper and try to compromise something!" suggested Goombella.

"When it comes to compromise, I have very strict rules…" Sonic muttered.

"Sonic, we're trying to get through a gate. I'm sure it won't be too serious…" Link comforted.

**The gate-**

"Not too serious?! This guy's a pig now too!!!" Sonic yelped, staring at the newly formed pig frantically blocking them from entering.

"I knew the pig heard the bell again…" mused Flurrie.

"So I didn't believe you-big whoop!" Link grumbled.

"Well, hey, that's actually pretty sweet for us! No pig's gonna get in our way!" Spike exclaimed.

The team's pig trotted up to the gatekeeper pig and told him in Pig Latin that they really needed to get through. The gatekeeper finally agreed, and moved out of the way. The pig pushed its snout against the doors, and opened the gate.

"Wow that sure is a helpful pig!" Sonic whistled.

"Let's name it!" cried Link.

"Let's not go down that road again…"

Mario: Pasta!

"That wouldn't even fit the pig."

Mario: :p

"See what I mean?" Link continued. "I don't want to constantly call it 'the pig'! we have to call it something!"

"Wilbur!"

"Babe!"

"Dinner."

Mario smacked his head.

"Let's try something a little more original, m'kay?" Sonic sweat dropped.

Link stared at the pig for a really long time, and something suddenly hit him.

"How about…Kirby?"

"Kirby?"

"Yeah…" Link started slowly. "…honestly, I've been thinking of the five of us as a group ever since we (I mean, _you_) divided, and now that you're here Sonic…I've been thinking about Kirby and Samus as individuals."

"What does that have to do with naming the pig Kirby?" Goombella dared to ask.

"It just reminds me of Kirby. You know, small, pink, energetic, and…likes food! GET OUT OF MY SACK YOU PIG!"

While Link was ranting, the pig had managed to slip his bag off his back and was currently chowing down on all the available snacks. Link violently tore the bag away again, and realized all that was left was half a Shroom, a dried Shroom, a Fire Flower, and a few drops of Honey Syrup.

"Way to go Kirby! You ate our supplies!" Link grunted. "You even ate the few hotdogs I bought!"

"That is definitely something Kirby would do…" chortled Sonic. "It almost felt like a normal moment!"

"Hey! You're right…" Link turned to the pig. "You like the name Kirby? We're naming you after a friend!"

The pig did a flip for joy.

"I'm still voting Wilbur after seeing that…" Goombella sighed.

"Away to find the key!" Link ushered, pointing past the gate and ignoring Goombella. Mario led the gang past said gate, and revealed a land of…well, barely anything. The most noticeable in the nearby area was the freaking huge moon, a tree, and an old abandoned shack. "Kirby" ran into the shack, and came out with a small black key in his mouth. Sonic bent down and took it away.

"Interesting. I wonder what this goes to…"

Mario: NEW CURSE! WOOT!

"Oh no…" Link swiped the key out of Sonic's gloved hand. "This is a key to an awesome ability box!"

"Awesome ability box?" questioned Flurrie and Spike.

"it's actually called a "Curse Chest", " explained Goombella.

"But they only give Mario the cool new "curses" which are really power-ups for wicked cool powers!" quipped Link. "Mario's basically a living piece of origami!"

Sonic snagged the key back and tucked it in his quills. "All right then! We'll just keep it safe in that case…"

"Kirby" darted ahead as a sign that they need to keep going.

"What's with him?"

"Must be animal instinct…"

"Something you seem to be lacking Sonic-"

"I'll have you know that I have great instinct!"

"SQUEAL!"

Everyone removed their hands off their ears.

"THAT was pleasant!"

"I think it's a sign to keep going…" Link said quietly.

Mario: Glad you understand.

They followed "Kirby" into the next area, where a green Goomba was trotting around. It instantly ran into the pig, indicating battle.

"Ah, time to flex the old muscles!" Link exclaimed, twirling his sword in his hand. It eventually fell out of rhythm, flew toward Goombella, but Sonic had caught it just before the pointy bit hit the center of her face.

"Try not flexing the sword out of your hand next time…" he scoffed, handing it back to Link.

"He almost killed me!" Goombella guffawed.

"Oh, such an overdramatic…"

Mario kicked the battle off with a simple hammer swing, taking 4 away from the first Hyper Goomba-it somehow magically multiplied by three.

"All right…each Hyper Goomba has 8 HP and can charge attack power for mean damage…" Goombella explained. "Otherwise, it's just like a normal Goomba."

"Like you?" snickered Link.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that..." she grumbled while dodging a head bonk from the first Goomba. The other two sat and charged.

"Sweet rainbow!" Koops commented before using Power Shell on all of them. The first Goomba died, and the second fell under the mighty wrath of Link's Jab. The final one gave a smirked before jumping into the air and crashing down on Link for a full 8 damage. Link staggered around, making some weird "doh…" noise and stumbling into Koops.

"Now that was a head bonk!" Goombella nodded, slightly impressed.

"Well, if a head bonk is simply bonking someone's head, then your gonna LOVE this!" scoffed Sonic. After taking one step forward, he sprang into the air and curled up in the same motion. He pulled off his Action Chain 4 times, resulting in successfully defeating the Hyper Goomba.

"Aw man! Dude, did you really need to finish the battle off?"

"Sorry Spike. It's just how I roll…"

Spike gave a "hmph" as the gang carried on. Link took out a Paragoomba that ambushed him while he collected a coin, and "Kirby" ran over a Spiky Goomba.

"That's some pig!"

Everyone turned to Link.

"…what?"

"You're not "pigging out" on jokes or anything?" chortled Goombella.

"Yeah Link! Make us snort!" Spike snickered.

"Don't hog all the humor to yourself!" Sonic belted out, leaving everyone in laughter. Link folded his arms.

"Hmph. If you're going to mock my amazing humor, then I just won't tell any at all!"

"Ha! That'd be the day…"

"OINK!"

"See? Even the pig agrees!"

"I thought we "agreed" to call him Kirby!"

Mario: I'm at a loss for words at this point.

"They're right Link…" Koops stifled, face squirming. "…you're a bacon for hilarity!"

That did it. Everyone was on the ground grabbing their stomachs and begging for mercy. Link smacked his head and glanced at Mario, which didn't help. His mustache was twitching!

"Okay, I get it! But if I tell a joke, you'll be like "Oh, Link…" or "Are you serious?" or my favorite "You tell so many jokes, you must be a joke!"

"Who said that one?"

"No one…yet…"

"Well, whatever! That Crystal Star and these pigs won't save themselves!" Sonic exclaimed, hurrying down the rest of the path. He didn't get far when he braked, thanks to a large tree being knocked over. "…and that's a dead end. Literally. Because the tree is dead."

The rest of the gang was right behind him and also stopped.

"Hey! There's a key on the other side of the log!" Spike pointed out. Koops crouched down and saw he was right.

"Cool! I'll get-"

"Kirby" squealed before running into the narrow space between the log and the forest floor, using his hind legs to shove himself through. Eventually, and a few grunts later, the pig managed to squeeze under and retrieve the key.

"Squeal…"

"Must've been too much for the little guy…"

The pig, key in mouth, grunted before sliding through the crack once again. It was slightly easier than first time, and actually flew out like a bullet and into Link.

"Domph! Why does everything bad happen to me?!"

"Psh, don't jinx it!" Sonic moaned. "At least we've got the key to the storage room now!"

"Right! Let's get some items!!"

Mario sighed.

**Back at the Store-**

"All right! With this key, I will unleash items back to the world!!! Now the villagers of twilight will be able to eat and fight once again!!"

"Just unlock the freaking door."

"Kill-joys…"

Link stuck the pink key "Kirby" retrieved and threw it into the lock. With a few shakes, it fell to the floor and disappeared.

"Now are you going to dramatically open the and hope a beam of light pops out?" mocked Goombella.

"Sure. Let's go with that."

Link bluntly opened the door, took one look and yelped.

"Gah! Awesome Ability Box!"

"Dude! There's a Jammin' Jelly, a Life Shroom, a smaller chest, and a Boo's Sheet and you're freaking out over some black chest?" Spike snorted.

"Aw. Nothing important in this small chest. Just a Defense Plus Badge…" Sonic sniffed, tossing it over his shoulder. Mario dove to the floor and caught it.

"But you don't get it! Mario'll unlock the box, and he'll get some cool new ability!" Link complained.

"I'm just concerned that the shopkeeper didn't realize there's a cursing chest in her closet." Sonic stated.

"Hold up! Hey! Who's there? I just heard a voice!"

"YAH!"

Link jumped into Mario's arms. Mario gave him a look while Sonic sweat dropped.

"Are you SURE you have the Tri-Force of Courage?"

"It took me by SURPRISE okay?! There's a difference between that, and being uncourageous."

"It was the Curse Chest, Link…" Koops groaned.

"There's no way people could be here! Seriously, that's just so unlikely!" the chest continued to speak.

"Yeah, yeah, what a mystery! You're the third of your kind, you know!"

"You've seen a chest like this before? Get outta here!"

"We sure have!" Link started to rant. "the first two said they were innocent, but ended up "cursing" Mario, which was actually giving them a helpful ability that helps him travel that I really, really want!"

"No, no, no! I'm not like those chests, I promise! Look at my eyes. Tell me I'm lying."

"you have no eyes! You MUST be lying!" accused Koops.

"You honestly think I'm going to curse you when I get out? CURSE you? Well, I did plan on doing SOMETHING to you, but it's not so much a curse as a…well, a really wonderful new ability that will allow you to go to new places!"

"I just said that!!!"

"But doesn't it sound nice?"

"Well…if you curse ME, then I guess we can save you…" Link hummed. He nodded to Sonic who placed the key in the chest's lock, and Mario turned it. The top of the lid popped open and…

"WHEE HEE! FOOLS!"

A purple portal sucked Mario in, and left Link and Sonic behind. Link fell to his knees and shook his fists to the ceiling.

"CURSE YOU CURSE CHEST!!!"

Sonic shook his head and tisked. "Link, Link, Link…what am I going to do with you?"

"Let's smack the sense into him!"

"Honestly Spike-"

"Bring it on, little Yoshi!"

"That's MY catchphrase!"

Next thing they knew, a giant dust cloud had formed and scuffling was going on. When Mario returned from the dark dimension, he used his new curse to go thin, roll into a small tube, and rolled into Link and Spike.

"So THAT'S what you can do? Sweet!" Sonic approved. Link rubbed his back.

"Well, I don't think so."

"But now we can get under that dreaded log in the middle of that path!" Flurrie exclaimed.

"Kirby" happily oinked in agreement, eager to return back normal. Link turned and picked up the pig.

"Okay, okay…we're gonna help you little guy. Er, well, for all we know you could be an old man, but…you know what I mean."

**Giant Fallen Tree-**

"Wow! We get places a lot faster if we simply snap our fingers!" commented Sonic.

"Yeah, but it takes the "adventure" out of adventure, you know?" Link replied.

Mario tapped on their shoulders before turning him and the entire team thin, and rolling into a little tube. They easily rolled under the log, and Mario sprang back up, everyone else popping up behind him.

"If only I could be cursed…" Link moaned.

"Whoa! Giant stack of hay!"

"Well that's a subject changer…"

"Kirby" jumped into the hay and dug into it, hitting something at the bottom with a thud.

"Poor sweetheart. Let me blow away your troubles!" cooed Flurrie.

"I don't even get a chance to crack a joke anymore!" cried Link, getting hay in his mouth from Flurrie's gust. The hay became one with the wind and floated away, leaving a green pipe and a pig behind.

"Ouch. He must've hit the wrong pipe that time!" Sonic cringed, staring at the massive bump on "Kirby's" head.

"You must be joking!" Link threw out sarcastically, jumping into the pipe. Sonic glanced to Mario.

"Was it something I said?"

Mario: We ARE talking about Link, after all…

"True, true…"

Everyone else followed Link down the pipe, and way in the background, headed into the dark, unforgiving forest…unaware of what horrible monsters throughout it…

* * *

**Hooray for early chapter! This is to celebrate the fact I actually finished PMX2 in advance at last! Hooray! I'm just so _glad_ its finally out of the way! Of course, I asked you guys if I should post more chapters earlier, and that's an obvious yes, but I can't do that until I finish _PLX _because the two plots are closer than you think (I don't want to get too far ahead in one and not the other...) and both deeply effect what happens in Super Paper Mario X...in the distant future. But anyway, hooray it's done by my personal deadline! :D**


	43. Twilight's Trail and Creepy's Steeple

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 42: Twilight's Trail and Creepy's Steeple

_The usually purple-pink-orange sky quickly turned to a deep and creepy blue-black, fit with the eerie feeling and all. The trees were crooked with fear, the path twisted and turned with scares, and the little group wasn't sure it could handle much more of the twilight…_

"…because they were all alone…in the** dark**!" Sonic finished off creepily, making a face in a flashlight's light.

"Way to ruin my story!" complained Link.

"Face it! You're the only one that's scared Link!" snickered Goombella.

"Uh, _I'm _scared!"

"you don't count Koops."

"Fine then!"

Sonic chuckled and shut the flashlight off. "Anyway, this trail is a bit-"

"-unnerving, and we don't know what scary things are out here like-"

"A PRETTY FLOWER!"

"YIPES! Wait a minute…what?!" Link screeched. "You're just trying to scare me, aren't you Goombella?!"

"No, there's seriously a flower behind you."

"I don't believe-snore…"

Link fell to the ground sleeping, a Crazy Dayzee singing a lull-a-bye behind him.

"His horrible monster turned out to be a petal princess!"

"That's really sad…" Spike scoffed, running up and Ground Pounding it. Sonic barely kicked it, and it ran off. Mario headed over to Link and waved their Ultra Shroom in front of his face. Instantly smelling the heavenly aroma, Link snapped up and tried to chomp it, but failed epically.

"Did I…fall asleep?" Link slurred.

"The Hero chosen by the godesses fell before the alluring sounds of a flower."

Link stood up and shook a sleepy fist. "One of these days, I promise you…revenge!"

"You already said that and you haven't exactly had a chance to carry out this "promise"…"

"Oh, whatever. Let's head to the Steeple already!" urged Spike, trying to find the next part of the trail. "Um…where's the rest of the path?"

"Kirby" suddenly oinked loudly, making everyone jump.

"Holy Rings, I forgot he was even there…" breathed Sonic, grabbing his heart.

"Kirby" stuck his snout in the grass and sniffed around. He then pawed at a small opening in the grass. Mario turned everyone thin and slipped through the small space.

"That pig sure knows the Twilight Trail…" Goombella noticed, petting "Kirby".

"We could've figured it out on our own…" Spike boasted.

"Look out! Crazy Dayzee!"

"Run before it catches us!!!"

Everyone literally leaped over the oncoming obstacle and sprinted for their lives to the next part of the path. The Dayzee half-heartedly chased them, knowing the certain Dayzee in the next part would surely do them in…

------

"Pant…pant…I have never feared flowers so much in my life…there's those weird man eating Deku plants, but it's really no contest-"

"Where'd that one come from?!" Spike yelped, instantly being attack by another Dayzee.

"Flower invasion! We're gonna die!!!"

When they entered battle, all eyes widened and all jaws dropped.

"If only we had Samus…she'd blast the crap out the…"

"-Amazy Dayzee…" Sonic gulped. The rare, sparkly, golden flower bounced happily behind her two inferior sisters.

"Safe to say we're screwed?"

The Amazy Dayzee sang a loud and uxorious lull-a-bye, sending everyone to sleep-and taking away 20 HP while she was at it. The other two Dayzees ran off. All partners were KOed, Mario was sleeping, "Kirby" was as good as roast, and only Link and Sonic were still up and running. They, and Mario, had 5-10 HP left each.

"Oh my God…oh my god…oh my-"

"It knocked Mario out cold!!" Sonic gaped.

"Looks like we're going to have to use a Crystal Star…" Link trailed, pulled the Diamond Star out of Mario's pocket.

"We're seriously going to fight that?"

"It'll give us an ocean load of Star Points!"

"I'm down with that. Let's do it!"

Link tossed up the Crystal Star, Link jumping in front and Sonic jumping in back. They gathered power, then started causing massive quakes. The Amazy Dayzee was ping-ponged between random parts of the stage, destroying half her HP.

"Finish her off Sonic!"

"Right!"

Sonic lashed forward, nearly blowing Link away with a gust of wind, and ran around the Dayzee until he whipped up one heck of a Whirlwind. The Dayzee hopelessly swirled around in the funnel while Sonic sprang above it, striking a pose.

"STYLISH!" shout Link. "…I have no idea why I always do that…"

Sonic back-flipped out, causing the wind to die down and the Dayzee to fall down and die. With 30 Star Points under their belt, they'd level up in no time!

The best friends slapped an epic high five before using the Life Shroom on Spike, waking Mario up, and randomly feeding the partners the rest of their Shrooms. "Kirby" instantly tackled Link for the last bit of Mushroom and oinked away happily.

"There goes all our supplies…" sighed Link.

"That was some hit!" muttered Spike, rubbing his forehead.

"Tell me about it…" Goombella moaned, still lying on the ground.

Mario, still partly asleep, jumped under a red ? Block and received a Hammer Throw badge. He equipped it and groggily pointed onward.

"You okay Mario?" Sonic asked, waving his gloved hand in front of his eyes. Mario violently shook his head, then nodded calmly. "Okay then…"

-----

Not far from the battle, the team hit another dead end. Another tree sat in the way, and this time, there wasn't an opening.

"Maybe if I run into it fast enough, I'll make a hole!" Sonic wondered. "Worth a shot!"

He took a few steps backward before jetting off at the speed of sound, ready to plow through the tree. Instead of running through it, he ran _into_ it and was even repelled backwards into Link.

"I told you not to jinx yourself…" murmured Sonic.

"That was your fault idiot!"

"I didn't see you coming up with anything! There was some sort of invisible thingy that bounced me back!"

Mario suddenly grabbed Flurrie and aimed her wind at the tree. A paper-type object wavered in the wind before completely blowing off. Behind it was a giant gaping hole in the tree.

"Stupid paper barrier…" Sonic grumbled, standing back up and heading in. He popped out of a tree stump in the background and jogged into another section of the forest.

"This place is totally weird…" sighed Goombella, following Mario into the tree.

"Okay, is it getting even darker?" Link asked, glancing at the sky. "Seriously, I feel like I can jump up and hit something!"

"I'll try it!" Sonic exclaimed. He jumped up and instantly crashed back own.

"What in the…"

"Apparently my adventuring sense strike again!"

Mario: Those darn invisible blocks…

"Ha! My adventuring skills strike again!"

"My head was struck again!"

"All right! Let's focus people!" Goombella demanded. She turned to the rest of the path, seeing a giant rock in the way. "We've gotta move the rock!"

"Not even my amazing strength can move that!" Link gasped.

"Apparently Mario's can…"

"Say what?"

Sonic jerked his thumbs over his shoulder, pointing to Mario in background pushing an equally sized boulder forward. Magically, the same boulder blocking the path also moved and Koops (who was leaning on the rock) fell back and landed into a hole.

"KOOPS! ARE YOU ALIVE?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Oh my goodness…he's in the sky!"

"He's on the other side of the rock idiot!"

"Yeah, the hole leads under it!"

"Ingenious."

When Mario returned, he also jumped down the hole and gave a signal that it was okay. Everyone else followed…and landed on a Hyper Cleft.

"…and people call me hyper!" Sonic complained, rubbing his poor tail. They were up against two Hyper Clefts and two Crazy Dayzees.

"I say we kill the Dayzees first!" Link hissed.

"But then the Hyper Clefts would kick our sorry butts with their hyper charged move!" Spike pointed out.

"You just have to ruin my plan don't you?"

"Just because my skills rock doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two about the enemy."

"I taught him everything he knows…" Goombella sighed.

Mario crashed down on the floor with a might Quake Hammer, taking two away from all enemies and flipping the Clefts over. Goombella pulled out Thunder Bolt and finished off a Dayzee. The stage suddenly created fog, making it harder to see the smaller foes.

"That is so the world going against us…"

The Clefts up righted themselves and the Dayzee instantly ran away.

"Well THAT eases things up a little…" Link decided, defeating the first cleft. Koops went To hit the second with his shell, but ended up veering to the right at the last minute.

"Aw man!! I so had that!!"

The Cleft simply jumped up and started to charge. Sonic yawned and used the Earthquake item, ensuring a defeat to the Cleft. It flipped over and simply went limp.

"You should've used that in the first place…"

"Yeah, but that's one less item we have now!" Link complained. Sonic sighed and shook his head.

"Chill man! We still have another one, and if you're all that concerned about it, try jumping behind a tree like I did!"

Link went blank for three seconds, then broke out into an insane grin. "Kirby" was dancing insanely under the tree, so Link gave it a shot-and his head got totally owned.

"HEY!? WHERE'S MY SUPER SHROOM?!"

"Kirby" balanced the very-well hidden Shine Sprite on his snout. Link made a face and stuck it in his pocket.

"Not what I expected, but I suppose that's good too!" Sonic shrugged.

"Whoa! Creepy sighting!" exclaimed Spike.

"What are you going on about?"

"Oh nothing…just the Creepiest Steeple right ahead of us! Nothing big really…"

"We can do without the sarcasm- that's Link's job."

_The abnormally large yellow moon hovering like an eye above the aged building. Swoopers swooped, wolfs howled, and the terrifying sight of the towering structure would be enough to make the strongest man cry. To top it all off, they really didn't name it "Creepy Steeple" for nothing…_

"Link's shaking in his boots!" Spike mocked, seeing Link shake while telling his chilling tale.

"I'm paralyzed with fear!"

Sonic grabbed his left hand and repeatedly banged on it. "I swear, this thing is broken…"

Link snatched his hand away and rubbed it, hoping there wouldn't be a bruise. "Will you quit making fun of my Tri-Force? I'm scared- but I'm still courageous enough to go in it, all right?"

Mario: That kinda counteracts the point…

"Yeah it does!"

"My words exactly…"

"Why is the world suddenly against poor Link?"

Koops placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry- I got your back!"

"Thanks Kooper!"

"I take it all back."

Link growled as Mario inspected the gate. Shaking it a little, he deduced it was definitely locked.

"Well now what? I'd almost want to go down the well, but…" Sonic suggested, staring unsurely at the water containment vessel.

"I doubt there's anything even in there Sonic. This place is so old…" Goombella assured. Spike trotted up to a hole in the wall.

"Can't we squeeze through here?"

"Spike, Spike, Spike…" Sonic sighed, bending down and putting an arm around his Soul Partner. "You know I think the world of you…"

Mario went paper thin.

"…but that idea has got to be…"

Mario rolled into a tube.

"…the…"

Everyone was sucked into his curse as he rolled them all under the hole. With a quick "roll-out", Spike was smirking and Sonic was blinking.

"…best idea I've heard since we arrived in Twilight Town."

"Hello? What about all MY contributions to the group?" Link questioned.

"All your ideas either are stupid or get someone hurt!" snapped Goombella, recounting all the times.

"Or just already thought of by someone else!" added Koops.

Mario patted Link, and Link knew that at least Mario really meant his sympathy.

"All right! Bring it on, big scary temple!" Sonic declared, barging though the front doors. Link did a jump for joy up the steps-and ended up hitting another invisible block.

"Holy Goddesses! These things are everywhere!" Link moaned.

Mario: More than you know…

Before anyone could follow Link, Sonic suddenly fell out of the sky.

"What the?!"

Sonic groaned and got off the ground.

"There was this Boo…and it kicked me out!!" Sonic gaped. "And I said I would even be nice to it, you know?!"

"Squeal!" went the pig.

"AIIII!"

"Link, get off my back…"

"I keep forgetting that thing is even here!!"

"Kirby" seemed slightly hurt and whimpered on the ground. Flurried bent down and petted him.

"Be nice Link! You're hurting the little darling's feelings!"

Link bent down and rubbed the pig's head. "Sorry Kirby. You just keep freaking me out."

"Kirby" seemed to grin and made a sound that was most likely a laugh. It started rolling on the ground, trying to grab its pudgy pink tummy.

"What the heck is so funny?!" Link squalled.

"your face!"

"ooh…burned!"

"Like toast baby!"

"I'll take my chances with the ghost…"

Link headed into the steeple next, followed by Mario, then Sonic and all the partners trying to get "Kirby" to follow them.

"Wow it's-"

"-creepy in here? Duh."

"I'm not allowed to get a word out anymore?"

"Well it IS Creepy Steeple…"

"Hey guys!" Spike suddenly called out, stopping Link and Goombella's conversation. "There's another hole in this wall!"

"How does he do it?"

Mario nevertheless rolled into his tube form alone, went into the hidden room, and came back with a Shine Sprite, an Ice Smash, and a cookbook. Link instantly saw the cookbook and flipped through it.

"Whoa…these combinations are insane!!" Link gasped. "Oh…so yummy…see Kirby?"

He bent down and showed the pig the pictures, and "Kirby" seemed to want to eat the dishes off the page as much as Link.

"You need to remember he isn't a pet. He's really a cursed person!" Sonic pointed out.

"I know! I just thought he'd want a look!" Link simply went to the first page and gasped at what he saw.

"No way! This is unbelievable!"

"Is there a new type of food?" wondered Goombella.

"A rare recipe?" Koops guessed.

"Intelligence booster?" snickered Sonic.

"Hey! That was my second guess!" snapped Goombella.

"Well I was just joking. You probably meant it!"

"No…worse…Someone totally ripped off my Honey Shroom recipe!"

Mario: x_x

"Don't give me that face Mario! You remember!" Link protested. "Someone random chef taking credit for _my_ dish!"

"Isn't it more likely that you discovered the recipe by accident?" Sonic asked.

Mario: That's what happened!

"I rest my case."

"HEY!" Spike shouted, snapping everyone back. "We have a Crystal star to head after? Remember?"

"Well then!"

"Lead the way Mario…"

Mario gave a firm nod and started off. The entry room itself was musty, eerie, and…

"My friends are all gone…I am so lonely…" a voice echoed, scaring Link silly.

"Was that my conscience talking to me?!" he gulped.

"If it was, then it sure was loud, because I heard it too," Sonic responded.

"My friends are all gone…I am so lonely…"

"Make it stop!" Link yelled, running straight forward and crashing into a statue with a Star Shape on it. The force of the crash was so much, it manage to push the statue and reveal a hole.

"Nice work Link!" Koops congratulated.

"Yeah! You gave yourself a concussion!" snorted Spike.

"One good scare did it…" mumbled Link before tumbling down the hole.

"My friends are all gone…I am so lonely…"

If only Link knew it was just the boo, floating all by himself throughout the room, quite sadly.

"WAH!"

"Mario? Does that cookbook have a recipe for a Chill Pill?"

Mario: If only it did Sonic…

Sonic shrugged, grabbed "Kirby", and jumped down the hole. Secretly, the steeple was scaring him to death too. He just wasn't going to show it.

-----

Sonic and Mario wailed like crazy on the long way down, only to land safely on a spring and fall next to their partners.

"Never speak of that again…"

Mario: Agreed.

Link, seeming having his senses back together, explained Flurrie had found a secret passage in the wall.

"…but Link here thinks it was too dark and won't let us go in!" complained Spike.

"If only Watt was here…"

Mario sighed and entered the passage, which really was dark, and the only sounds were footsteps, shivering, and the occasional squeal from "Kirby".

"I can't see a thing!!!"

"Just keep going forward…"

The light at the end of the tunnel revealed…not death, but a chest with a Flower Saver badge.

"We came all the way here for a badge we can't even use? Forget that!" Sonic grunted, running back.

"Yeah, I'm just going to quickly follow Sonic…" Link quivered, hurrying after him. "Kirby" didn't want to stick around any longer either and trotted after Link.

Sonic hadn't even passed the middle when he stopped running.

"Man! My strap came loose…and I'm just as good as blind…"

He bent down to attempt to fix it as Link cautiously but quickly made his way behind him. He was going so fast, he didn't see the slight glare from Sonic's buckle and accidentally ran into him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"My back! My head!"

"My legs! My body!!!"

As they shrieked, the noises scared "Kirby" which made him cry the most high-pitched shriek anyone ever heard.

"WWHEEEEEEESNAH!"

Link was already shouting, but just flat-out screeched when the pig rammed into him. This caused Link to fly unexpectedly into Sonic again, and the scream-fest started up again.

"SWEET CHAOS!!!" Sonic boomed.

"I'm gonna cry!"

"SNORT!!"

"AAAAHHHH!"

"I'M SO SCARED!!!"

"I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!!!!"

Both of them screamed while scrambling to get back to the room with the spring, shouting louder when they even brushed shoulders. Mario and the other partners, who were appreciating the badge, heard the screams of bloody murder and instantly rocketed after Sonic and Link. Said people had flown out of the tunnel and crashed into the spring, still screaming.

"WHO DIED!?" Spike belted out, "Kirby" tagging along behind him. Link and Sonic's screams slowly died down as they exchanged glances. Sonic coughed and jumped to his feet.

"W-well, all I have to say is we need to get out of this place as soon as possible!"

Link sat up and started pulling blue quills out of his boot and leg. "Why the heck were you sitting on the floor in the first place?!"

Sonic held up his right shoe. "I was trying to fix my strap! It bugs me when they aren't done up properly!"

"Well whatever! We're all okay, and now Mario is going to open the door…" Spike explained slowly. "If anyone is going to get scared, it'd better be for a good reason, you hear?"

Link and Sonic gulped and nodded. Mario just shook his head and opened said door. All that lay before them was a two-story hall, a locked door, and a mysterious purple box. Link went into a fetal position.

"I'm afraid to open the box…"

Sonic smacked him and grabbed the collar of his tunic.

"Get a grip, man! I want to get out of here as much as you do, but we really need to get it together!"

"You're right…"

"Now, show everyone here what power your Tri-Force of Courage and my incredible will-power can do if we combine them to open that box!"

Link struck a pose as Sonic finally let go. "Yes…let's be brave and open a defenseless box!"

"This is anti-climatic…"

Sonic and Link gave a determined nod as they both placed their hands on the box.

"Are you ready for this?"

"Let's do it!"

Mario smacked his head.

They threw open the lid and burst out screaming again. But this time, everyone screamed, including Mario. A white blur of Boos came flooding out of the small cramped box, and Sonic and Link couldn't help but constantly turn to each other, then to the Boos, screaming at the top of their lungs the entire time.

"What in the world was that?!" Goombella gaped. "Open a random box and a billion ghosts come flying out!"

"I need a new pair of pants…" sobbed Koops.

"REALLY didn't need to know that…"

"Oink…"

Finally, the rush stopped, and one last Boo floated out. Everyone stopped shrieking long enough to hear what the Boo had to say.

"Ok! It's quiz time interloper!" it cackled.

"You scare the living lights out of us and expect us to answer a question?!" huffed Link.

"Just now, when the box opened…how many Boos came out?"

"About two hundred to me!" Sonic exclaimed, slightly psychotically.

"Good…very good…Take this…math nerd…See you sucker…"

It dropped an Ultra Shroom (which Link quickly tackled for comfort) and the Boo flew away.

"O-okay, now what?"

"Well we hit a dead…might as well head back up and see if there's another way to go!" Goombella suggested.

"Why isn't leaving an option?"

"We have people to save!"

Without further discussion, Mario guided everyone back to the spring area and returned to the entry room.

"My friends are all gone…I am so lonely…"

The voice was still coming from the Boo, sobbing in the middle of the area. "Kirby" seemed to freak out and ran up to it, nuzzling its side. Link walked up and patted it on the back.

"Don't worry- I empathize…"

The Boo took its stubby little arms off its eyes and looked up at Link.

"Are you going to be mean to me?"

"No…"

It suddenly grew huge and shouted "PROMISE??!" in Link's face.

"YES YES! Don't KILL ME!"

The Boo smirked before saying "Come on out guys!"

The air suddenly took on a darker atmosphere as Boos popped up in every spot imaginable. No one screamed -their throats were too sore- but chills went up their spines. The Boos started circling around the party, chuckling darkly and insanely. They inched closer and closer, ready to strike.

"Mario! Do something! They'll throw us out!!" Sonic gulped. Mario pulled out his hammer and rapidly swung it in a super circle, smacking several ghosts in the face. "Kirby" slightly cringed.

"You said you'd be nice!" the crying Boo roared.

"No. I said I wouldn't be mean!" Link pointed out.

"Let's get them guys!"

"WHAT?!?!"

The single Boo rose up, allowing the others to come toward him. They all piled together until the Atomic Boo was formed. With a sickening cackle and fangs bared, it charged at the group, who by now were screaming so much it started to hurt.

"What have we gotten into?" sighed Sonic.

"Atomic Boo…ah. Here we are! Atomic Boo: 40 HP, No defense…can turn invisible and freeze time. Other than that, it's like a normal Boo!"

"So we were being cowards for nothing? Pish, this'll be easy!" Spike scoffed, ready for action.

Mario used his turn to do a spin jump, taking away five. Atomic suddenly shrunk as seven Boos flew toward Mario and Goombella, each suddenly screaming and sticking their tongues out, which somehow took four away from both of them.

"Weird attack…" Link murmured, charging in and performing jab. Koops then twirled into his shell and rammed into the fiend. The Boos emerged again, this time immobilizing Koops.

"Whoa…he's frozen!" Sonic exclaiming, poking Koops and making him move like a statue. He then twirled on his foot, jumped in the air, and pulled off a five Action Chain.

"That's the most I've ever done!" he gaped while back flipping to his spot stylishly.

"Radical!" shouted Spike, spinning several times, bonking the Atomic Boo five times, then landing on his and waving to crowd.

"How come those two are so stylish?" whined Link. "I try to pull one off and end up breaking my foot!"

"We're just good like that!" smirked Spike.

"So…is this freak going to use the same attack again, because it's getting really old…" Sonic wondered.

"Be careful what you wish for…" gulped Goombella.

Atomic floated above their heads and crashed down onto Sonic and Spike.

"It's always me that gets the painful attacks…" Sonic complained.

Mario summoned the Diamond Star and he and Goombella jumped onto it, and finished the Atomic Boo off.

"Yeah! Try and scare us now!" Sonic boasted. Spike trotted behind him and poked him. "Augh!! Spike!!"

"Sorry-I couldn't resist!"

They all gained 20 Star Points…and leveled up!

"Yeah!" "Whoo hoo!" "Yipee!"

Link chose FP, Sonic HP, and Mario HP. "Kirby" was looking like he wanted to level up too…

The Boos all screamed as they scattered out of the steeple, never to mess with the gang ever again.

"Well that takes care of the boo problem…" Link said, trying to stay positive.

"hey! A badge!" Goombella pointed out. She picked it up and looked it over. "It makes something good happen at the start of every battle!"

"Equip it quick! Maybe it'll fend off the black curse that resides in this temple…"

"You're really scared aren't you?"

"I'm not scared! I'm just…riled up!"

"Riiight…"

Nevertheless, Mario stuck it in his bag, but didn't tell Link he didn't equip it.

"Well, we've explored just about everywhere…" Sonic trailed. "Want to head through a door?"

"sure! Why not?" "Let's go for it." "Okay…"

**North Door-**

"See? Nothing scary anymore!" exclaimed Sonic. A Swooper suddenly dove just above his head and sent him into a fit. "Augh! Bat! BAT!!! GET IT AWAY!!"

"…and you hang with Rouge all the time…" sighed Link, quickly slashing it out of existence.

"I wasn't expecting that, so you can be quiet!"

After Sonic took a few breaths in a paper bag, Mario led the gang down the worn, forgotten path. Another bat engaged them, and it teamed up with a Boo.

"I call boo!"

"Bat!"

"It's a Swooper-"

"Who cares? I'm callin' it a bat!"

Mario disrespected everyone's wishes and used a Shooting Star to take out the Swooper and sent the Boo down to one. Goombella smirked and Head bonked the Boo, winning the battle. Everyone else glared at Mario who grinned sheepishly.

"Where did you even get a Shooting Star?" Koops asked.

Mario: I may have donated a Mushroom…

"You gave away some of our supplies and hid a useful item we could have used to beat the monster IN YOUR POCKET?!" Link guffawed.

Mario: Pretty much.

"…oink."

"That pig is right! You'd better find a substitute for that!"

"Oink?"

Mario rolled his eyes and turned paper thin. He the trotted outside of the gate and went as far east as he could go. When he came back, a sparkling golden leaf was in hand. Link gasped, snatched it, and took a bite.

"Whoa! That's good!"

He ended up eating the rest of it, to the distain of everyone else.

"What was the point of refilling our supplies if you're going to eat them?" Sonic questioned.

"I had to make sure it was edible! Go get more Mario!"

Mario made a face, but returned with two more leaves. "Kirby" tried to take a bite out of one, but Spike and Koops held him back. Sonic, however, ignored the commotion and turned his attention to a strange red switch. He gave it a kick, and the ground started to rumble without warning. "Kirby" instantly got scared and huddled against Link.

"…what did I just do…" wondered Sonic.

"Let's go through this door to find out!" Koops suggested, pushing open a door next to the group. When they entered, it revealed a giant stairway that could lead up to one of three doors.

"Do you think the stairs…moved?"

"Pish? Stairs can't move!"

"The rumbling did come from this room, however…" Goombella pointed out.

Link raised his hands. "Okay, Okay…I'm wrong, your impossible logic is right! Just to prove how I accept your opinion, I'll scope out the place!"

He climbed up the stairs, entered the door, and hardly a few seconds passed before he came sprinting back through and tumbling down the steps. Luckily Sonic and Mario caught him before he broke an arm or a leg…or a neck…

"What the…"

"Door…locked….need key…" he wheezed. "Key…on leftmost…side…"

"You weren't expecting a Boo were you?" Spike asked frankly.

"Shut…up…"

Mario glanced up and noticed the leftmost door.

"Oh!"

Sonic looked up too and grinned.

"I see where you're going with this…"

He ran out the door on the opposite side of the room, finding a switch identical to the one on the other side.

"Excellent…"

He kicked it twice, figuring it would make the stars move to the left twice. Link winced as he and the rest of the team watched the set of stairs magically move to a different door. Goombella smirked.

"Told you Link!"

Link said nothing, but motioned for Koops. They climbed up the stairs and entered the area above the entry room. After hopping a few gaps, Link shot Koops over, retrieved the key, and returned to Mario.

"It's a lot less scary when there's no Boos in there!" Link stated cheerfully.

"Ready for me to move the stairs back?" Sonic asked. Mario gave a thumbs up. The hedgehog nodded and ran into the right door. He kicked the switch twice like last time, returning the stairs to the original position.

"Ready to face the innocent Boo Link?" snickered Spike.

"I'm ignoring you!" Link sang, following Mario up the stairs. They all walked down an upper ledge, under a painting of a ghost with a party hat. They all jumped over a small gap to reach the locked door Link was talking about. Mario pulled out the key and stuck it into the lock.

"Whoa…"

"That is a creepy stairwell!"

"We climbing up it?"

"Heck yes."

"O-Oink…"

* * *

**Um, this chapter wasn't intended to be on the longside-but I guess its a good thing- because I compiled the original 42 and 43, since 42 was very short- but 44 was only 3 papers, so that was added too...just a little bit of trvia. Anyway, next week we fight the monster, get the Crystal Star, and walk up happily to a good future! Right? No. :D**


	44. A Mysterious Battle

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 43: ?????: A Mysterious Battle

The group had climbed up the spiraling steps, after curing their chills with a Life-Up Box, believing the monster with their Crystal Star was just ahead. With only a spring separating them from the final room, what risk were they going to take…?

Mario turned to the group and asked if they could actually handle what was up there.

Sonic and Link made faces. "…Yeah…"

"I'm ready!" "I might need new pants, but ready…" "Let's do it!" "YEAH!" "Squeal!"

Mario nodded and jumped onto the spring, followed by everyone else. It led them to a dark, scary…living room?

"This is definitely not where a scary monster should live…"

"Hey, hang on there Slick!"

Everyone's eyes bugged out to a ghost in a party hat sitting in a green chair.

"What are you doing, interrupting my "ME" time?"

"Whoa, come on! THIS was the monster the mayor was freaking out about?!?" Spike scoffed.

"It looks kinda cute actually!"

"Who are you calling a monster?! What's your problem? Why do you need to pick a fight?"

"There doesn't have to be if you'll hand over the Crystal Star!" Link ordered.

"Well too bad! I'm busy thinking up new pranks and stuff! It's not easy either! So get lost!"

"Oh no he didn't!"

The freak-sheet made a face. "…of course, you guys WON'T. No way you ninnies go away quietly, am I right?"

Sonic cracked his knuckles. "Not without making a scene first!"

The ghost sighed and jumped out of his chair. "Well, all right then Slick. Fine. Yes. I turned the villagers into pigs."

He shot a look at "Kirby". "…and I turned that swine into one myself! He tried to break into my private quarters like you did. Big deal."

"Big deal?!?" everyone yelped.

"You stink, Mister! Why'd you wanna turn them all into pigs anyway?" spat Spike.

"Don't be polite to the enemy!"

"You know, they're all so depressing and dimwitted all the time…so instead of wallowing in glum, I figured they might as well wallow in mud! Now they're pigs, get it? Isn't that just sooo perfect? It's like, irony or something."

"…you're an idiot!"

Mario: Um…so?

"So…what? You got a problem with that? I guess you do. So let's play, Slick!"

Everyone took on fighting stances.

"Let's take care of this quickly…"

"Goombella! Tattle on him!"

Goombella pulled out her book and flipped through pages. "Uh…he's in here, but it doesn't say who or what he is!"

"What up with that?" asked Sonic.

"I don't know…but it's obvious he's a Duplighost, so just remember that. 40 HP, and no one cares about the defense…"

Mario considered the information and started the fight with Earth Tremor. Mystery Sheet didn't see it coming and suffered 7 damage.

"Yuk yuk yuk! I guess I'll get down and dirty if you're gonna play like that, Slick!"

"We need to get a Star Power than is better than Earth Tremor…" groaned Sonic.

"My head IS in a tremor…" muttered Link.

The boss transformed into a floating sheet, then torpedoed down toward Mario. Mario easily Super guarded him with a smirk.

"This is going to be way too easy…" scoffed Link before jabbing the ghost with a perfect action command for 6 damage. Koops pulled into his shell and spun straight into the ghost. When he return, Koops started spinning on the floor and stood up looking sheepish.

"STYLISH!"

The Duplighost grunted, but nevertheless performed his previous move on Link. Link only had time to put up his shield instead of countering, but at least it reduced his damage.

"Finally our turn!" Sonic and Spike said simultaneously. Sonic curled up and used Action Command successfully three times, and Spike pulled off an impressive ground pound.

"He's already down to 16!" Goombella called out.

"Pathetic!" boasted Link.

"Hmm…time to regroup here…So you think you're a couple of heavies, huh?" the ghost huffed. "Well, my dear friends, if you thought changing folks into pigs was impressive…"

"…ooooINK!"

"Then you're gonna love this!"

His beady red eyes sparkled twice, summoning an unbelievable power. He disappeared in a puff of purple smoke in front of everyone's very eyes.

"I don't like the looks of this…" gulped Koops.

"M-Mario…" Link quivered.

A line of neon green light suddenly appeared and practically scanned Mario. Mario felt his eyes spin, and his head was getting dizzy. It was like he was only half there…

Back in the Duplighost's spot was a dark purple figure in the shape of Mario.

"How do you like them apples? Now that's magic people!" he cackled.

Mario was so dazed and out of it he wasn't able to block the blow his imposter gave him.

"Was he supposed to attack us?"

"Don't question it Spike…"

Mario could hardly move. He tried to used Super Hammer on the copy, but barely managed to do the original attack. Goombella wondered what was wrong with Mario as she Head Bonked.

"You really thought you could take me Slick? It's truly on now!"

"Oink-OINK!"

"What the-"

"Kirby" suddenly dashed forward, ready to take revenge on the guy who turned him into a pig. He rammed straight into his gut for a total of 7 damage- enough to finally beat him.

"Way to go Kirby!" cheered Link.

While everyone was celebrating the pig's heroic final blow, they didn't notice Mario suddenly slouch over as the shadow fell, dropping the Ruby Crystal Star out of its pocket.

"Huh? Wha…wha…you beat me?"

"Go on Mario! Take the Crystal Star already!" exclaimed Sonic. Mario nodded and held it proudly above his head.

"That was totally easy! Maybe the other ones won't be as hard as I thought…" pondered Link.

"I sure hope so! I'm tired of this spooky place!" Koops admitted.

"Still! That guy was a wimp! That wasn't even fair!" Spike blared.

"…let's just get out of here…" Sonic said, already jumping down the exit. Everyone else wasted no time in following…

------

The purple figure pushed himself up, grabbing his head. Did his friends just…leave him behind? With some other guy?! Man, he felt like Link now!

_"I've got to catch up with them and tell them they have the wrong person!"_

He quickly trotted up to the exit started to pursue them, but when he saw the pig shivering in the corner, he had to turn around and help him.

_"The curse must be lifting…"_

The pig suddenly erupted in a huge puff of smoke, and revealed…Kirby?! Oh man, who would have saw THAT coming?!

"Uh…is it over?" he muttered, his tiny little pink arms rubbing his forehead. "Ooh…that monster was _such_ a jerk!"

Kirby blinked, then yelped at the sight of the random stranger looking as shocked as he was.

"Ahh! What are you doing?! Who are you?!" he shouted. Truthfully, the shadow man didn't really know. How was he going to explain he wasn't Mario anymore? Especially to Kirby! He was…a guy once known as Mario. Gokam…

Gokam: I'm…Gokam?

Kirby blinked again. "Okay…I'm KIRBY!!"

Gokam: I know that.

"Whoa! Gokam's psychic! You know my name!"

Gokam sighed.

"You know, you remind me of my friend Mario! You talk and act just like him!"

Gokam suddenly grinned. He explained to Kirby that he was Mario, but the nameless Duplighost stole his identity, and now he was just a guy once known as Mario.

"You mean the guy that turned me into a pig?! Ugh I HATE him! Wait…you mean you WERE Mario, and he turned you into him and stole your identity?!"

Gokam: I think that's what happened.

"Wait…How do I know you're really Mario?!"

------

_"So Mario! What are you going to do without me?" Kirby asked._

_Mario said probably save Peach again. Peach made a face behind him._

_"Yeah, at least you HAVE things to do…hey! Maybe one day we can figure out how you can teleport so you can go on an adventure with us? How's that sound?"_

_Mario: :)_

_"Sweet. Well-" he pulled out his Warp Star and tucked it under his small arm. "Looks like I'm leaving next. Oh! One more thing!"_

_He reached on his tippy toes to whisper in the red-capped hero's ear. "Keep an eye on Bow for me, okay?"_

_Mario nodded._

_"With that, I'm out! Later!" Kirby jumped on his Warp Star, did a 360 while waving at Mario and blasted off into the sky, disappearing in a little white spark. Kirby had left._

-----

Kirby cheered. "Only Mario knew about my good-bye! IT IS YOU!!"

Kirby patted Gokam's shoulder. "All I do is come to a dark town because I was thinking about Bow-though I wanted to go to Boggly Woods but Bow just HAD to cross my mind-and next thing I know the villagers sent me to save them and then I was a pig. Just like that! But I'd rather be a pig than watch someone parade around as me! That must suck!"

Gokam made a face, and motioned for Kirby to follow him out of the steeple.

"Yeah, so anyway I returned to the main square to sue the mayor, but he had turned into a pig too so I trotted around and I saw Sonic rolling on the ground and you and Link and I got excited and I-"

Gokam covered his hand over Kirby's mouth.

"Sorry Mar- er, Gokam. I was just glad to see Link wasn't too hurt…and Sonic wasn't upset anymore either!"

Gokam asked why Kirby had left the gang in the first place once they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"…it was too much pressure, okay? Samus was talking all bold and brash about how much we are together and we should be apart, and I was getting really scared because I didn't want to split up as much as Sonic and Link! Then Samus made me really mad, so I ran off into an alley and started to cry and you'd better not tell anyone and-"

_"Talk about run-on sentences…"_

"-I met this guy who told me about this place so I came and you already know what happened after that…"

Gokam patted Kirby now. Kirby sighed and stared straight ahead.

"…but if Link left because he was alone, Sonic left to blow off steam, and I left because I felt really bad, then this is all Samus' fault!"

Kirby growled and clenched his fists as Gokam led him out the door. Kirby sucked in air, grabbed Mario, and floated back down to the first floor. A boo floated by and waved at Kirby, being told by Lady Bow herself that he was her boyfriend. Kirby grinned and waved back, then turned to the ground and scowled again.

"Sigh…no point in looking back now! Only way to fix this is to get back together!"

He slapped Gokam a high five and they jogged out of the steeple…

**Back at Twilight Town-**

"Mwee hee hee hee hee! Yes…this time we'll take Mario and that Link and get their map!" cackled Beldam. "With this Superbombomb, there's no way we can fail! No, not likely…"

"Guuhhhhh…"

"Vivian! Hand me that glorious Superbombomb!"

Vivian cringed. "Huh?!"

"Vivian…don't you dare …does that "huh" mean what I think it does?"

"I…I never had it! You were holding it just two seconds ago! You said it was too important to trust me with!"

"Oh you terrible LIAR! Stop making up stories to cover for yourself! If I don't have it, then OBVIOUSLY you must have it! And OBVIOUSLY you lost it! Or…are you trying to imply that I lost it, you little lollygagging worm?"

"I…of course not Beldam…"

"Well, we can't do much without it, now can we?!? Oh, you are SUCH an idiot…very well. I'm sure you must have dropped it around here somewhere…So why don't you look for it while Marilyn and I go take a well-earn siesta. And if you don't find it…well, you know what'll happen, don't you?"

"I…I get punished…"

"That's right, you little twit, so get cracking! Come, Marilyn. Let's leave this useless little fool to her chore."

"Guh-huh…"

The two older sisters seeped into the ground, leaving Vivian all alone for something she didn't do…

* * *

**Wow...new fans sure do change a lot of things! ^.^ I've got two new ones, and they're both really nice! Smart One 64 and PaperMario1018! Look them up!**

**Anyway, Yeah, the pig was Kirby. It was _going_ to be Samus- that would've been hilarious- but it didn't fit into my plan. Oh well- at least Kirby's back in action! And I had to call Mario something besides "shadow gut without a name" so I randomly came up with Gokam. It works. XD Pronounce it by how it looks.**

**Next Time: With the rest of Team Mario oblivious to the fact they're hanging around with an impostor, it's up to Gokam and Kirby to fix this mess, but they'll need the help of a certain partner...**


	45. Living in the Shadows

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 44: Living in the Shadows

"…wow. Sounds like you guys were having a lot of fun…" Kirby said slightly sadly, entering the last area before town. Gokam shrugged. "Now I'm wishing I never left…"

He sighed and glanced up at the huge moon.

"Hey, what's up Slick?! Been waiting for you!"

"Ah! The moon can talk!!"

Kirby leaped into Gokam's arms, Gokam rolled his eyes and "Mario" jumped out of the moon-paper style.

"Yeah, you're Mario, right? What a great name!" the faker chuckled. Gokam clenched his fist. "And I really dig this body now too! MAN, can I jump now!"

"You weren't kidding…" gawked Kirby, still in his arms.

"And hey! You're so popular around here! I get mobbed! I just love being you! Yeah, it's so cool, I don't think I ever want to stop!"

"This is nuts. I swear, I had too many peaches at that hotel…"

"So, you figured it out by now, right Slick? Your body and name belong to me now! See, I've got the power to change my shape into anyone I want…it comes in handy."

"Well yeah! Last time I checked, you were a Duplighost! You're supposed to be able to do that!" exclaimed Kirby. "Mario" nodded.

"Right. So to truly be someone, I need to take their name and body too! Which means you turn into a shadow and can't use your name! Tough break, Slick!" "Mario" cracked his knuckles. "That's not enough either…I aim to erase you for good!"

Gokam took a fighting stance and Kirby jumped down, hammer ready to strike.

"Don't worry…I got your back!"

_"At least someone still does…"_

"I guess it'd be unsporting to ruin you without a challenge…so I'll give you one chance. If you guess my real name, then I'll give you back your name and body! What do you say Slick? This'll be fun, right?"

"Too bad we don't have a clue to what his real name is…" muttered Kirby.

Gokam: Better not go with Pasta…

"Pasta?"

Gokam: Long story…

"Now guess! What's my name! Hit me with your best shot!"

"I bet its something embarrassing like…Fauntleroy!" guessed Kirby. Gokam didn't really care- he didn't have the foggiest idea. Anything would do now.

"Wrongamundo, little nobody! Who'd name their kid that?

Gokam: Apparently Koops…

"Prepare for doom, Slick! And don't even think about running! NO RUNNING!"

They entered battle, "Mario" with a smirky grin on his face.

"Okay, as long as he's not him, we can't hurt him, if that makes sense…" explained Kirby. "SO RUN FOR YOUR FORGOTTEN LIFE!"

Gokam and Kirby instantly bolted, leaving "Mario" behind huffing and puffing.

"Awwwwwwww…that's no fun…"

------

The duo yelped and tripped back into Twilight Town. The villagers, none of them pigs, gave them strange looks.

"Oh man that guy is _creepy_…" gasped Kirby, helping his friend off the ground. "I wonder where he went, especially if Link, Sonic, and your partners are following him around…"

Gokam suggested they check in the next area. Kirby nodded and headed to said destination. But when they got there…

Vivian stood crying in the patches of grass. "Sniff…sniff…sniff…What'll I do? What'll I do? Poor me…"

"Poor girl…you go find the others, I'll go help that shadow girl!" Kirby exclaimed. He ran off before Gokam could explain that she was the bad guy. Nevertheless, he started the hunt for his friends.

Kirby skipped up to Vivian and tugged on her hat.

"Hiii! What's wrong?"

"Sniff…I'm looking for something very important. If I don't find it, my sister's going to punish me again…" Vivian explained. "But it's just not here…"

"I'll help you find it!"

Kirby instantly crashed to the ground and started sniffing around for it. It was so amusing, it actually made Vivian giggle.

------

Meanwhile, Gokam entered the mayor's house, and to his dismay that's where everyone was…with the imposter. He went unnoticed-since he only was a mere shadow- as he slipped into the back and eavesdropped on the conversation. The mayor constantly shook "Mario's" hand.

"Oh thank you! Thank you! We owe you so much Mario! Please take this as a token of our thanks! Eat up!"

"Won't mind if I do!" Link chuckled, walking up and wolfing down the snack. "Some pig ate our supplies, and now I'm starving!"

"I wonder who that pig turned out to be…" pondered Sonic.

"No one important, if he didn't bother staying with us!"

Gokam sighed and turned to "Mario" who was bouncing and flipping around, sounding like an idiot.

"Hey! Ha! Whoa! Look at me! Look at me! Hey, it's-a me Mario! Wah ha ha ha!"

Gokam: What kind of loser says that? Ridiculous…

"Boy, Mario, you sure got chatty all of a sudden…I mean, you, like, NEVER talk!" exclaimed Goombella. Gokam could see "Mario" mentally sweat drop.

"Maybe that super easy battle got him excited or something!" guessed Sonic.

"Well, I guess it's not too weird or anything…"

"S-She's right…" Koops added. "You seem kind of different. I mean, you're sort of like the life of the party now, but I guess that's cool…"

"Yeah Gonzales, what's up with you lately? You're kind of freaking me out! I mean, I'm all for acting like a complete loon, but it's not exactly in your character…" continued Spike.

"Mario…you're rather dramatic as of late, aren't you?" Flurrie question, realizing they all were right. "To be honest, dear, I rather enjoyed your quiet dignity and strength of character…"

Gokam just couldn't believe it. Link and Sonic glanced at each other, showing they were concerned too.

"Are you sure you didn't bonk your head on an invisible block too hard Mario?" Link asked.

"I'm-a fine! Why are you guys-a so tiled up? C'mon! It's still-a me, Mario!"

Sonic scratched the back of his head. "…If you say so Mario…"

"Yeah, we'd never doubt you…"

Gokam: This guy is ruining my life!

He exited the house, everyone in there still completely unaware he had even entered. When he returned to Kirby and Vivian, he wasn't the least bit surprised to see him still pawing through bushes.

"Oh you're back! Um…see, she lost something, and-"

Gokam made a blank face, dug around in the farthest bush, and pulled out the Superbombomb. Kirby squealed and snatched it out of his hand.

"Perfect! You! Girl…"

He held it out to Vivian who cracked into a wide smile.

"What?!? You found it?"

Gokam: Actually I-

"Of **course** I did! I told you I would help!" Kirby boasted.

"Oh…oh thank you so much…at least I won't get punished now…" She set it down to look at it, only to jump in shock. "OH NOOOOOOOO! It's…It's broken!"

"Whoa! Didn't see that coming…"

"It must have broken when my sister dropped it… What'll I do? What'll I do? I guess I was just meant to be punished for life…"

Kirby patted her shoulder. "Hey! Don't feel so bad!"

"Thanks…you're very sweet. That actually makes me feel a little better!"

Gokam: Here, let me fix it!

"I don't think you could…but it's the thought that count, I suppose. Thank you too. But what'll I do now? My sisters will be back any minute now…"

The three stood around trying to think up a solution. Eventually, the Superbombomb flickered out of existence and Vivian sprung up.

"Hey! Wait just a second…What's your name, anyway? Won't you tell me?"

"Well **I'M** Kirby!!" Kirby called. "…but he doesn't have a name anymore…"

Gokam: It was stolen…

"I see…Well, I guess that happens from time to time-…wait, no it doesn't!"

"I was about say…"

"Your NAME was stolen?! That's absolutely crazy!"

Gokam nodded. He told Vivian of everything that had happened in Twilight Town, excusing the fact that he was Mario. Kirby put in that he was here because he was thinking of his girlfriend while trying to get over a fight with his friends.

"Gee whiz, you have way worse problems than I do!"

"Tell us about it."

Gokam nudged Kirby with his elbow. Kirby rubbed the sore spot and gave Gokam a look.

"And you were worried about me that whole time…that's so…kind…All right that's IT!"

"What's it?"

"I'm going to help you get back your name! And your body! And your friends!"

Gokam: No.

"What do you mean no?!" Kirby screeched.

Gokam: What about her sisters?

"Don't worry about my problems…I'm not really sure I want to stay with my sisters anymore, anyway. I feel like I need to repay your earlier kindness. It's the right thing to do."

She scooted forward and gave both guys a kiss on the cheek, making Gokam jump and Kirby blush.

"So, hmm hmm hmm hm?"

"Soooo…" Kirby trailed back.

"Here we go!"

Vivian officially joined the team (at least the rag tag one) and so did Kirby.

_Kirby:_  
_HP: 20_  
_FP: 15_  
_Moves:  
__ Hammer (4 atk)_  
_Copy (3 FP, various atk)_  
_Final Cutter (6 atk, 5 FP)_

_Special ability: Able to float for a good distance to find shortcuts/ can swallow enemies and gain their abilities_

"I guess we have to find out that monster's real name huh? That's a start. Now how are we going to get that kind of information…"

"Oooh! I…have _no_ idea…"

Gokam face palmed.

"Oh hey! I have sort of an idea! Birds pretend to be innocent when people are around…but they're actually well-informed from all that flying and eavesdropping."

"Go on…"

"With my power, you can listen in on their conversations without them knowing. So, in addition to the villagers, let's try to get some info from the local birds. That's the least I could do for you with my power!"

"Okay, before we get too into you and your "power", I'd like to establish that I'm already off the market! So don't try to pull a move or anything!" Kirby exclaimed, getting a slap from Gokam. "HEY! I'm just letting her know! Remember, that's how Bow was...this girl already kissed me…"

"Umm…okay then…"

"But seriously, the birds?" Kirby questioned. "Like we're even going to understand what they say!"

Vivian put her hands on her hips. "Do you have a better idea?"

"Um, no…we're going with the birds…"

"My power it is! C'mon, there's probably more information in the area closer to the steeple…"

So Vivian followed Kirby into the other part of town, Gokam staring one last time at the mayor's house.

He hoped his friends would come around soon.

------

After learning several useless pieces of information from people and birds, Vivian was ready to throw her hat onto the ground.

"I can't believe this isn't working!" she pouted. "This plan really IS for the birds…"

"Don't give up yet…we still haven't checked the birds over there!" Kirby pointed out. He was referring to a tree, the one closest to the gate and surrounded by a fence. Two birds sat atop it, acting very aloof. Gokam wasted no time in heading over there- he wanted his body back ASAP. Vivian grabbed hold of Kirby, and Kirby hung onto to Gokam, and the former shadow siren pulled them into the shadows…

"So that Mario guy meeting with the mayor, he's actually the bad guy right?" one crow asked the other, as if it was casual conversation. "And nobody even knows. Humans are so dumb, it make me just want to peck their noses!"

"The only soul that knows the bad guy's name is locked under Creepy Steeple, I hear. Because, you know, if no one knows your name, you can use unstoppable magic."

"but if someone says your real name to you, then your magic will stop working…"

"So…I wonder how this will all end up then?"

The trio reappeared, glad that they finally had a lead.

"Did you hear that?" cheered Vivian excitedly. "If we search under Creepy Steeple, then maybe we can find out that guy's real name!"

"That does sound like a plan…" agreed Kirby. "Yeah, we'll find out that guy's name, shout it proudly in his face, and then we'll rub his face in it and tear him right out of the body he stole!"

"Let's go! To Creepy Steeple!"

"We'd better buy supplies first…I kinda ate them all last time…" said Kirby sheepishly. Gokam thought this was a great idea and rushed to the store. "Yeah, no offense in that!"

Inside, Dupree was fighting with the keeper's "husband", but they ignored it and simply gathered what they needed. Kirby stocked up on Maple Syrup, Thunder Bolts, and a Life Shroom, and Gokam bought all the Super Shrooms.

"Okay! Let's get going again!" Vivian cheered. "I can't believe I'm on an adventure like this…I usually feel like the bad guy…"

"Why's that?" Kirby asked, not noticing Gokam frantically sliding a finger across his throat.

"Well…Um…Beldam serves this really not-so nice guy, and she and my other sister are always trying to hurt innocent people to get what they want, and they always drag me with them and blame anything that goes wrong on me!"

"Someone needs a hug!"

Kirby bounced up and wrapped his arms as far around as they could go, making Vivian feel even better. Gokam just shook his head, grabbed Vivian's hand, and dragged them out of town.

"Hey Slick!"

"Mario" jumped out of the moon again. Vivian's eyes widened.

"I swear I've seen that man before…is that the guy that stole your body?" Vivian. Gokam cautiously nodded his head.

"Yeah, and we're going to ignore him until we find out his name!" Kirby grumbled, starting to pull Vivian away, led by Gokam.

"Where do you think you're going Slick?!" "Mario" jumped in front of them, not letting them pass. "I've still got plans to get rid of you! But, I'll let you guess my name again. Go ahead, try!"

"We don't know your name, but we're sure going to find out!" Vivian exclaimed boldly. "Now get out of our way!"

"Ooh, feisty! Well, if you don't want to guess, then prepare for doom!"

"Not today!" snorted Kirby, continued to grab Vivian run off. Gokam stuck out his tongue before following after. "Mario" just stayed back, huffing and grunting like last time.

"Aw man…"

**Twilight Trail, part with the hole in the Tree-**

"Wow! You totally told that guy off Vivian!" Kirby stated, now with the abilities of a Crazee Dayzee.

"You're still thinking about that?"

"Yeah…after all, you just went from sobbing in a field to shouting at some life-changing monster! Literally, a life-changer…"

Vivian just giggled.

**Outside Creepy Steeple-**

"Wow, this place is pretty creepy…" trailed Vivian.

"Well, I've already explored everything in the actual steeple, and if the guy we need to talk to is underground, then we need to find and underground entrance or something!" deduced Kirby. Gokam and Vivian stifled laughter. "What?! It's a good plan!"

"It's kinda hard to take you seriously when your face is surrounded by flower petals…" giggled Vivian.

"Oh, ha ha. I may not look threatening, but I'm deadly!"

"As deadly as a pansy!"

While the shadows cracked up, Kirby just made a face.

"Fine! Laugh at Kirby! Man, you're making me feel like Link right now!"

Gokam wiped away a tear and inspected the well. It led underground, right? He motioned for Kirby and Vivian to head down.

"A well?!"

Gokam: Do you have a better idea?

"Okay, no but…_a well?!"_

Gokam picked Kirby up and threw him down.

"HEY! That was very uncalled for you know!!"

Gokam just snickered, and held out a hand for Vivian. Vivian smiled and took it.

"You know, you guys are really nice…"

Gokam gave a nod, and both jumped into the hole.

* * *

**It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...an early update! Whatever could be the reason? I'm bored, it's my birthday, just felt like it...hm, I kinda like the second option...**

**Wow. Kirby conveniently managed to miss meeting the gang. What're the odds?... I probably should've made it longer at the backtracking part, but it was really repedative and I like this out come better. ^.^**


	46. And Something Was His NameO

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 45: And Something Was His Name-o

When Gokam and Vivian landed harmlessly at the bottom of the well, Kirby was pacing around complaining.

"Who throws people into a well!? I can't believe this…"

Vivian glanced at Gokam. "Does he usually complain to himself?"

Gokam: Sometimes, Sometimes…

The inside of the well was similar to a cave, with a spring for an exit, a Shine Sprite, a Buzzy Beetle preparing to charge at them, and a archway in a wall. As Gokam trotted over to collect the Shine Sprite, the Buzzy Beetle jetted forward and crashed into Gokam's side.

"Let me take care of this!" Kirby stated after Gokam received the first strike. Kirby twirled around, sang a song, and the beetle fell asleep. Vivian then pointed at the Beetle, summoning a small flame to burn the sleeping beetle, burning it. Since it was asleep, it couldn't attack, and the burn damaged its delicate face. Gokam jumped onto it to turn it over (and send its defense to zero) and finished it off with a impressive Spin Jump.

"That wasn't too bad…"

"I almost thought it was kinda fun!"

Gokam waved his hand to get them to enter the opening, only to be ambushed by an army off Buzzies!

"AHHH! The Buzzy-Army has come to take us alive!" wailed Kirby. "Tell Bow I love her! Nooooo…"

"We're not going to die! We just have to fight them all off!"

Gokam: There's only 6 anyway…

"But that's still a lot-OUCH! Watch it!"

As Kirby took on one of the Buzzies, Gokam jumped over the onslaught and received a Tornado Jump Badge, simply because it looked cool.

"Hurry! To that narrow hall!" Vivian called, waiting at a strange looking door.

"I'm kinda busy!" Kirby shouted back, frantically trying to fend off the Buzzy menace.

"Just put them all to sleep!" Vivian suggested, dragging Gokam into the shadows before they were struck.

"Wow- just leave me here to fight for myself! Defenseless little pink puff with flower petals!"

Kirby suddenly busted out into a beautiful and peaceful lullaby, sending all the Buzzies to sleep. He then got rid of the Dayzee ability and swallowed a beetle, obtaining a shiny blue shell. Vivian and Gokam emerged out of the ground.

"C'mon you guys! Before they all wake up!"

Vivian started pushing the odd door up the slope, blocking them from the rest of the steeple. Gokam and Kirby also helped push.

"What's the…point of this?!" grunted Kirby.

"If we push this thing high enough, I can drag us into the shadows, it will slide back down over us, and we can get to the other side!" Vivian explained.

"Can we hurry up a little, because THEY'RE WAKING UP!!"

All three turned around to see the Buzzies shaking off the sleep and sending glares at Kirby. Kirby gulped and pushed harder.

"Hurry before they kill me!"

Just as the Buzzies ricocheted towards the group, Vivian grabbed her friends' arms and pulled them into safety. The Buzzies rammed into the door, and were pushed back into the room. Once the door was safely over them, Vivian, Kirby, and Gokam returned to sight.

"That was really close…" gasped Vivian.

"You're telling me! I'm just glad we're alive!"

"Let's just go through that door…"

Gokam held it open, and the trio entered, lightly frightened. Lucky for them, there was nothing in there, except a small tunnel and another Shine Sprite. While Kirby grabbed the Sprite, Gokam rolled up into a tube, taking Vivian and Kirby into his curse.

"Well THIS isn't weird at all!"

Gokam rolled through the little opening, then up a small set of steps into a room with a Spin Jump pad. Gokam unraveled, leaving Kirby and Vivian slightly dizzy.

"Talk about on a roll…"

Gokam jumped into the air after snickering at Kirby's comment, slamming into the weak wood with his bottom. Kirby and Vivian jumped in after him, landing like ninjas. Gokam raised an eyebrow.

"…you never know!" demanded Kirby.

Gokam looked to his left and saw the room where Sonic and Link had opened the Boo box. He lightly laughed to himself, recalling their frightened faces.

"Hey! There's another "tube" hole!" Kirby pointed out, struggling to squeeze through with his Buzzy shell. Gokam sighed and rolled up again, this time taking everyone into a locked-off room…after taking a jump off the edge.

"Aii! Why the heck did we just roll off an edge?" complained Kirby once he was free. Vivian held a finger to her lips.

"Shh…there's someone in here…" she pointed to a large green parrot sitting on a perch, surrounded by two small, square, colorful chests and two normal ones. Gokam opened the two normal chests and received a Power Plus and a Mr. Softener (which he couldn't hold anyway). "Let's see if he'll say anything if we hide…"

Gokam: wait!

He opened the colorful boxes, getting a Steeple Key to unlock the door and…a letter P?

"Maybe that's a letter in the freak's name?" wondered Kirby.

"The only way we can find out the name is if we hide!"

Vivian hid Kirby and Gokam in the shadows and awaited the parrot's reaction.

"Skrawk? What happened to those weirdos who were just in here? Aw, whatever…it was almost nice to have some company…"

"Poor bird…"

"He called us weirdos!"

"Shhh!"

"I mean, no matter how important it is that no one knows his real name, locking me up in here just because I know it, and making me guard the name's stupid missing letter…no way to treat a parrot! I REALLY want a cracker…Doopliss, you're a big meanie. When's feeding time, huh?"

The trio emerged out of the shadows, Kirby springing up with a "HA! What now?!"

"Skra-WAAAAAARRK!? Uh…pretty bird! Pretty bird!"

"Yeah, whatever…" Kirby shrugged, handing the bird a Super Shroom. "It's not a cracker, but it's edible. Enjoy."

As the parrot squawked in thanks, Gokam unlocked the door, and they left, now knowing the monster's name.

"Mm hmm hmm hm! We heard you, we heard you little birdie!" smirked Vivian. "Doopliss! Doopliss is his name!"

"Let's go shout it in his face, shall we?" Kirby put out.

"Yes! Let's!"

**Area Where They Keep Getting Ambushed-**

"He'll be here any moment now!" Kirby was sure of it. Speak of the devil, "Mario" jumped out of the sky once more. Vivian frowned, Gokam struck a fighting pose, and Kirby couldn't wait to blurt out his name.

"Hey Slick! Time to cancel your magazine subscriptions, 'cause you're getting erased!"

"That was a really lame line, you know…"

"But first, amuse us with one more guess…It really gives me joy to see you squirm in futility as you try and guess my name!"

"Not this time, jerk!"

"That's right…DOOPLISS!" Kirby belted out.

"Mario's" eyes flashed white as his reeled back in fear.

"Wha…What did you just say?! It can't be!"

You could just see his voice shaking. Kirby was getting a real kick out of it all.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOO!!!!" Doopliss wailed as his power was drained away. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHHHHHHYYYY? HOW? HOW? HOOOWWWW?! I'm…feeling… faint…"

His head spun as he jumped around and frantically ran back and forth. He screamed while plowing through Gokam, Kirby, and Vivian, heading for Twilight Trail.

"Now it's our turn! Let's get your name and body back!" Vivian cried.

"We have no time to waste!" added Kirby, snapping his fingers and teleporting the team inside the Steeple.

**Steeple's Entry Hall-**

"Whoa! How did you do that?!" Vivian gasped.

"Confidential. Now, let's go get Doopliss!" Kirby exclaimed, running into the north door. The purple people shrugged and ran after him. Gokam hit the switch so that the stairs were as far to the right as they could go, then entered the stair room and ran up the steps.

_"We're so close to getting my life back…"_

Kirby carried Gokam and Vivian over the gap-filled hall, reaching the doorway to the spiral staircase. Kirby deflated his balloon form and dropped back down to the floor. Gokam quickly pushed the door open and sprinted up the steps.

"I know you're exited, but could you please slow down a little?" Vivian begged. Gokam nodded and waited at the spring until they caught up, then all three jumped up at the same time. Gokam, Kirby, and Vivian were shocked to see "Mario" AKA Doopliss, Link, Sonic, Goombella, Koops, Flurrie and Spike staring back at them. This was an awkward moment.

"Hey, you again, eh Slick? You're pretty stubborn to follow me all the way here!"

"Maybe we are!" Kirby snapped back.

"Fine. Fine. I see. I get it. Let's just put an end to this, shall we?" He turned to the rest of the team. "All right, kids, put on your fighting gloves! Uh…woo hoo! It's-a me!"

"Sure thing, Mario!" Goombella cheered. "We're right there with you!"

"This creep couldn't take us on his own, so he teamed up with a Shadow Siren!" Koops scoffed.

"And Kirby!" cried Link and Sonic. Kirby felt a stomach ache coming on.

"Well, we certainly won't them do anything to our little Mario!" gushed Flurrie.

"You're gonna taste the pain Gonzales-style, shadow guy!"

Doopliss nodded. "Very good, my loyal ones. How dare this nameless nobody challenge the great Mario!"

Gokam: Please, make this end!

"Kirby! What are you doing with the monster!?" Link demanded to know.

"He isn't a monster! He's…aw, who am I kidding? You wouldn't believe me!"

"Get over here and fight on our side now!" Sonic ordered. "It's one thing if you are brainwashed by a shadow man, but when you join a Shadow Siren too…"

"Shadow Siren?! There's nothing wrong with Vivian!" Kirby defended. "Are you implying she's evil or something?!"

"Maybe she's not bad as a whole, but she's an enemy of Mario, and an enemy of us! Even ask her! We've fought her before..." Link yelled, arms folded with a raised eyebrow. Kirby gulped and turned to Vivian, looking like she just committed murder.

"Mario?!? The guy who stole your name and body is Mario…That means YOU'RE Mario?!?" she cried.

Gokam (who still technically wasn't Mario) didn't know how to respond.

"I can't believe it…and you knew it all along, didn't you Kirby!"

"I didn't know you were an enemy of my friends!" Kirby shouted back.

"And I told you I never wanted to be like my sisters..." Vivian quivered. "All this time I was helping Mario…I feel like an idiot…"

"All this time I was helping a criminal!" Kirby guffawed. "…but that shadow really is Mario…and I'd hate to turn on him…"

"What's going on here? Fighting with your girlfriend?" Doopliss sneered. Kirby turned around and growled at "Mario".

"I ALREADY have a girlfriend "Mario", and you of all people should know that, shouldn't you!? Furthermore, it isn't her!"

"Well, don't expect any sympathy from us, ghoulies!"

"Sheesh Mario, pull out an Ike quote on us why don't you?" Link snickered.

Vivian trembled before vanishing into the shadows, leaving Gokam and Kirby to fight Doopliss themselves.

"One last chance Kirby! Come back and fight with us!" Link ordered.

"I've already fought with you enough, thank you very much!"

"Wha-?"

"I absolutely hated it when we fought! None of you knew how hard it affected me! I've been with you ever since I was a toddler for crying out loud, and we suddenly split over a stupid fight?!"

"Kirby, I didn't mean fight with us like-"

"Shut it! You have no idea that you're fighting with an impostor, and I refuse to abandon the REAL Mario just because you think I'm going to crawl back to you when we're not even getting along!"

"Wow this is tense…" gulped Goombella.

"Link technically wasn't in that fight, and you need to get over it!" Sonic shouted. "Just like I did! It's not worth it to get into another fight!"

"See? Your friends ditch you because you don't have the charisma of me, Super Mario!" Doopliss boasted. Kirby chucked his hammer and clonked Doopliss in the head.

"Shut up! I'm not ditching Mario! I don't care if I have to fight my friends! I just want to finally get things back to normal!"

Gokam, who now felt like he could call himself Mario again, smiled, and pulled out his hammer to get his life back.

* * *

**Wow...go Kirby. So lessee...Vivian just realized she's helping Mario, Kirby realized he helped an enemy who everyone really doesn't think is bad in the first place, Doopliss completely had Team Mario on his side...and now Kirby will definitely kick butt with the real Mario! And I just remembered! Next week is...BOSS WEEKEND!!! Already? Hmm...well, Chpater 4 IS about a 4th of what Chapter 3 was...aw well, see you next time!**


	47. Doopliss: Shape Shifting Two Timer

**100 was in the bag...200 was my goal...BUT 300 REVIEWS?! HOLY! I nearly fainted at the realization XD Never, ever, thouht I'd get THAT popular! Cool! And we can all celebrate with...**

* * *

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 46: Doopliss: The Shape-Shifting Two-Timer

_"See? Your friends ditch you because you don't have the charisma of me, Super Mario!" Doopliss boasted._

_"Shut up! I'm not ditching Mario! I don't care if I have to fight my friends! I don't care if its right or wrong!"_

_Gokam, who now felt like he could call himself Mario again, smiled, and pulled out his hammer to get his life back._

Mario confidently told Kirby to only target Doopliss, since he didn't want to hurt any friends.

"All right, but I'm countering them if they decide to attack me!"

Mario Super Jumped on Doopliss, and Kirby got rid of his Buzzy Beetle ability to use his Final Cutter. Doopliss then trotted up, gripping Mario's super hammer and giving the plumber a taste of his own medicine. Goombella performed a Head bonk on Kirby, Kirby Superguarding the second bonk.

"Okay, you…shadow! Release whatever mystical hold you have on Kirby!" Link roared, hacking Mario straight in the head. Koops tried Power Shot, though Mario guarded and Kirby Super-guarded.

"I _am _an amazing Super-guarder!" he cheered.

"Then try Super-Guarding THIS!" Spike spat, swallowing Mario and spitting him into Kirby.

"Hey cute trick! I can do that too!"

Kirby inhaled Spike, obtaining his Ground Pound ability and spitting him back out.

"Hey! That's a cheap shot!"

"It's how I play!" Kirby responded, now with Spike's pants and swishy hair style.

"No matter what, you'll _never_ be fast enough to super guard me!"

Sonic shot forward like a blue comet, then ran at nearly the speed of sound around Mario and Kirby. Kirby huddled into Mario, both being hit by a barrage of punches and kicks from Sonic.

"How do you like that?!"

"…knock…it…OFF!"

He grabbed Sonic's foot right before it made contact with anything and pushed Sonic to the ground. Everyone on the other side of the room gasped.

"Did Kirby Super-Guard Sonic's whirlwind?!" Link gaped.

"That's impossible though!" exclaimed Goombella.

"What the…?!"

Kirby gave an intimidating look to Sonic, who struggled to return to his spot behind Koops. Mario used his simple hammer move to hit 4 more points of health out of Doopliss. Kirby, now really fired up, flutter-jumped in the air and Ground Pounded Doopliss' skull.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! HEY!!" he growled. "Man, for being that pig, you sure do have a lot of spunk!"

"What do you mean "that pig"?!" Link instantly asked.

"He was the pig that was following you- er, us, around! He was the pig who finished off this shadow loser the first time!"

"Kirby! Is that true?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah! I ate your food, I helped you find you way, I pulled that hilarious prank in the dark hall…and you named me Kirby because I reminded you of, well, me! I've been on your side the entire time!"

"But how would Mario know that that was you?" wondered Link.

"…because it _isn't_ Mario!"

Doopliss growled and brought the hammer down on his head, leaving a bump. Kirby cringed from pain as Goombella Head-Bonked Mario. Link was less mad at Kirby, but still attacked Mario anyway with Jab, taking away 6. Koops used Shell Toss on Mario, Sonic Spindashed Mario, and Spike Ground Pounded Kirby just because he was mad about being copied.

"I'm…I'm sorry sis…this Mario and his friend Kirby are the only people who have ever been kind to me…"

Vivian returned out of shadows, apparently watching the battle the whole time.

"Vivian! You came back?" Kirby asked, voice slightly cracked.

"Yes. I'm fighting by your side from now on!" she confirmed. "You too, Mario!"

Mario tipped his hat to say thanks while Vivian and Kirby just flat-out hugged.

"I've…I've made my choice! And I'm not turning back!"

"Glad to here you've crossed over to the good side!" Kirby grinned. "Now let's go get Mario's name and body back!"

Mario turned back to the battle and struck his trademark battle stance before jumping onto Doopliss, Kirby brought out his mighty mallet and struck him across the face, and Vivian finished off their turn by punching him and burning his boots.

"Mario! Don't let your guard down, okay?" Goombella warned.

"Yeah, yeah…" Doopliss grunted back, this time jumping Mario silly. Goombella sent a glare in Vivian's direction before giving her a nasty head-bonk. Vivian luckily guarded it just in time. Link slashed Mario, Koops Power Shelled (Kirby Super-Guarded, Vivian guarded, and Mario just took it head on), Sonic Action Chained Vivian (hitting only twice), and Spike continued to bash Kirby until the ability was knocked out of him (and Kirby Super-guarded).

"We're almost there, Mario!" Kirby assured Mario. Mario nodded and even smirked. What his team probably didn't noticed was that Doopliss only had one Crystal Star- Mario had the other three. When he pulled out the Diamond Star, Everyone gasped; Link, Sonic and the partners because they couldn't believe it, and Kirby and Vivian because it was _really_ pretty. Mario hopped onto the star, and Kirby jumped right next to him. They fired-up Earth Tremor to full capacity, and shook 8 HP out of everyone!

"Gulp! How dare you try to do this to the great Super Mario! How DARE you?!?" wailed the Duplighost in disguise.

"How in the world does he have our Crystal Stars?!" Sonic questioned.

"They've been stolen from me again!" sobbed Link.

Kirby pulled off a Stylish Final Cutter, and Vivian officially finished Doopliss off with a dainty yet fiery fist.

"No…why…how?!" Doopliss screeched. He shook back and forth, then fell on his face just like Mario would if he had gotten a game over.

"Mario!" everyone screamed. Nevertheless, Mario, Link, Sonic, and Kirby leveled up.

"How did that shadow level up?" Link pondered, taking FP. Sonic chose FP, Kirby took FP, and Mario chose HP. His question was answered when the Ruby Crystal Star fell from Doopliss, causing him to revert back to his freak-sheet form.

"HUH?!?"

This caused the curse on Mario to be lifted, magic surrounding him, and he regained his red and blue colors- and his bushy mustache.

"Yay Mario!" Kirby cheered, giving him a hug. Mario glanced over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "I just feel so _huggy_ lately!"

"Glad I could help Mario!" Vivian added with a big smile.

Doopliss stood up, face looking like he was about to cry. He turned to everyone, shouted "KILL-JOYS!", then just took off out the window.

"What? He ran away…" Goombella trailed. "I mean…wait. What the heck is going on here? That wasn't the real Mario?"

"Did we get shell winked?" wondered Koops.

Mario: What the heck is that?!

"How could I ever mistake my dear Mario for another…oh, silly Flurrie!"

"…So who's this girl and pink thing huh? Is she one of the Shadow Sirens you guys mentioned?"

"…and Kirby is our friend…" Sonic replied. "I hope…"

Kirby gave a blank face, then broke out into a grin and bounced into Sonic's arms. "Of _course_ I'm still your friend. Not even a war could break up our friendship!"

"Glad to see you're still tight with us Kirby!" Link stated truthfully.

"Still! Why would Gonzales pair up with one of those Siren creeps?" Spike continued.

"Well, I uh…" Vivian stammered.

"Hey! She's not a creep! Her oldest sister, definitely, but not her!" defended Kirby. Mario walked up to everyone, turned to Vivian, and gave a nod.

"Oh…Mario, Kirby…thanks for sticking up for me…"

"Well, I guess thanks to her you came through this OK…" Spike pondered. "No sweat, right?"

"Uh, listen, Mario…sorry about earlier…" apologized the former Siren. "I'd be happy to travel with you if you'll let me."

"ME TOO!" blared Kirby, in both Link and Sonic's ears.

"AHH! All right, all right!"

"We weren't going to say no to you anyway!"

"You were quieter as a pig!"

Mario ignored them and officially accepted Vivian to the team. As a token of thanks, she slid over and picked up the Ruby Star.

"This is for you!"

"Good job, Vivian," Link said with a light smile. Vivian beamed and turned to Kirby who gave her a thumbs up. She then handed the Ruby Star to Mario, and he gladly accepted it. The Star spun around Mario until he could hold it up over his head.

"You got another Crystal Star! Mario's Star power is now 5, and he can use the special move Art Attack!" Link informed everyone else in a totally dramatic yet awesome voice.

Now with 4 Crystal Stars and 3 of his friends, he couldn't help but think where the other 3 Crystal Stars were…

Along with Samus…

-----

Back in Twilight Town, Beldam and Marilyn were searching where they had left Vivian.

"Vivian is so VERY late!" snapped Beldam. "Where has that scatterbrain been all this time?"

"Guuuhhh…"

As they thought over the situation, Doopliss suddenly ran by them, and Beldam had an idea…

* * *

**I probably should've made this longer, but I didn't. That's okay- Chapter 5's boss chapter is going to be *high pitched voice* AWESOME!**

**Tomorrow: Peach, Zelda, and Amy get a blast from the past when they take...A QUIZ! (one of my lesser Peach favorites, IMO)**

**Sunday: Bowser, Eggman, and Ganondorf attempt to head back up to Glitzville, but they run out of gas and get "washed up" if you know what I mean...**


	48. One Long Questioning Conversation

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 47: One Long Questioning Conversation

In the heart of the X-naut lair, a Phd X-naut prepared to report to Sir Grodus. Interesting news had been floating about, and it was up to him to inform Grodus.

"Are you sure about this? Speak up, X-naut!" Grodus ordered.

"Yes, sir. Quite, sir. I poured over all our research on the Thousand Year Door…and it appears the sealing power has definitely been weakening, as Beldam said." the X-naut explained.

"Finally, the treasure of legend…The ancient power of darkness will soon be ours! Listen and listen well! Keep giving the Crystal Star search top priority! Of course, that also includes the elimination of Mario and Link! Those meddling scum…"

"got it sir!"

The lone X-naut trotted away, leaving Grodus to rant to himself.

"Soon I will have the power that slept for a millennium…so very soon! When that glorious day dawns, I'll throw the worlds into the depths of terror! No one can stop me now. All will kneel before the X-naut regime! And then I, Grodus, will build a new world! A perfect, ideal world…Yes. A world made by me, for me, and about me! GAAACK ACK ACK ACCKK!"

-----

"Okay, keep your balance…keep it…"

"My head has gone numb…"

"It's almost been four minutes, Amy!"

"I'm…gonna fall!"

"Ooh…"

Amy fell out of her perfect headstand, Zelda shaking her head in disappointment. Peach just sat on the bed and sighed.

"That's it. This place is officially boring…" she grumbled.

"I'm so bored, I could cry!"

"I miss Sonic! Oh, why did we have to get kidnapped!?" Amy complained. "It was the start of a beautiful vacation too!"

"Tell me about it…" huffed Zelda.

"I almost wish TEC would call us. I'd rather risk my life right now than die of boredom…" continued Peach.

"Ooh, Peach want to see her high-tech boyfriend!" Zelda smirked, elbowing her best friend and winking.

Peach growled and chucked a pillow at her. "Shut it! He hasn't asked me anything about love since that dancing incident, and I don't think he will anytime soon!"

"Ow! Struck a nerve there, didn't I?"

"I'll throw a piece of a locker next!"

"I'll let you borrow my hammer instead!"

"Who's side are you on, Amy?!"

"I just want peace!"

"You won't get it if you offer someone a weapon!"

Whoosh- the door opened, causing all girls to stop their fighting.

"Well, well! TEC wants to see his girl!" snickered Zelda. Peach held out her hand, and Amy handed her the hammer. Zelda gulped and took off out the door.

"Get back here so I can rearrange your motor mouth!!"

_"Man_ you haven't been getting enough sleep around here!!"

Zelda skidded and nearly tripped into TEC's room, Peach coming right after her looking like a crazed Amy. Amy caught up to them, gasping for air.

"I know I'm a speed type…but _honestly_…what the heck was that?!"

Peach and Zelda ignored the hedgehog, focusing on their own problems. Zelda was backed into a corner, Peach ready to smash her brain out.

"Any last words?!"

"Knock it off, Peach."

Those words came from TEC. It took Peach by surprise so much, she melted out of her anger high. Zelda took a deep breath and sank to the floor. Peach coughed and tossed the hammer back to Amy.

"…TEC? Did you call me?" she squeaked.

"You? Yes. Them? No."

"Well sorry! Being cooped up in a bland room isn't exactly a day at a beach, you know!" Zelda snapped.

"What are we doing today?" Amy asked.

"Will it be dancing, perhaps? Disguising? Or will I sing a song or something?" Peach questioned slightly sarcastically.

"Maybe he wants to learn the art of hugging or kissing!" Zelda exclaimed under her breath.

"I…I am conflicted…"

"huh?" all three exhaled at the same time.

"What's wrong TEC? You don't seem like yourself…" Peach trailed.

"Was it what Zelda said? I'd be upset too!"

"Don't try and blame this on me!"

"Which is more important? Carrying out an order or protecting a critical person?" TEC pondered, completely changing the subject. "I exist for the purpose of a certain person. I wish to exist for the purpose of another…I do not know what to do…Really."

"Whoa…"

"Deep."

Peach stood in her worried pose. "What do you mean?"

"No…No never mind… Please forget my musings. I do not know why…but it makes me feel unpleasant if I make you worry."

"Hmph. I though we agreed you love her…" muttered Zelda.

"Give it a rest, Zel!" Amy warned.

"Well, in any case…let's have a quiz."

"A quiz?" questioned Peach.

"A_ quiz_!" gasped Amy.

"A QUIZ!" cheered Zelda.

"That's right. Please answer the questions I am about to ask you. If you can answer 5 questions, then I will let you use the communicator as usual."

"What's with you all a sudden huh?" Peach asked. TEC ignored her.

"Now, the first question…"

"I am SO going to own!" Zelda cackled.

"What will happen if you collect seven Crystal Stars?"

"You get a super form!"

"That's Chaos Emeralds, Amy. You should know that…"

"Well I was spying on Eggman the other day, and he was grumbling that Crystal Stars are the equivalent to Chaos Emeralds and the Tri-force!"

"Hm! I see your point…"

"That is not the correct answer though," TEC stated bluntly.

"Wouldn't the Thousand Year Door open?" Peach finally answered after giving it some long thought.

"Correct. Now, the second question…What is the goal of Grodus, leader of the X-nauts?"

"You just told us he wanted to conquer the worlds!" Zelda exclaimed. "What kind of a quiz is this? What did you think we were going to answer? To be a superhero?! He's evil, no matter what you say!"

"Correct. Third question…"

"I don't like this quiz…" Amy shivered.

"What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand Year Door?"

All girls jerked forward, jaws dropped.

"TEC…is this…" gaped Peach.

"How are we supposed to know that?! No one knows that! Not even you know that!" Amy cried.

"Are we supposed to guess on this quiz or something?!" screamed Zelda

"Yes, actually…"

"Okay then! I'll guess! A bunch of coins! Rare treasure! A dried up Shroom! The cure for the common cold!"

"Whoa, that's a little too rare there…we'll never find the cure for that!"

"Well…the door is 1,000 years old…maybe it's something a thousand years old too!" suggested Peach.

"Maybe it's a 1,000-year old soul of a demon!" Amy screeched creepily.

"Correct."

"Wait…what?! I was messing around! Are you serious!?"

"Doesn't that mean Mario, Link, possibly Sonic, and maybe Kirby are treasure hunting for the very thing that destroyed the town 1,000 years ago?!" Zelda realized.

"Then shouldn't they…I don't know…STOP?!"

"But they can't let the X-nauts get that demon!" Peach pointed out. "No offense TEC…"

"Oh, but we will. And what will Grodus do with this ancient demon's soul?"

"He'll cherish it forever and hang out with it," Zelda snorted sarcastically. "He's going to bring it back to life and kill us all!!!"

"Correct."

"I don't **WANT** to be correct!"

"Last question…What is required to seal the demon back up again?"

"The Crystal Stars most likely…"

"I was thinking a legendary sword myself…"

"Not in this world, Zelda."

"Correct. You have answered all five questions correctly. Now you may use the communicator."

"TEC…you…was it Ok for use to tell us such things?"

"Please input the message you wish to send."

Peach sighed and turned to her friends. "You two want to say anything?"

Both shook their head.

"Not after TEC has me thinking about the possible destruction of the universe!"

"Okay then…"

Peach typed away at the keyboard, having plenty to say now. When she was done, she told TEC to send it, and did promptly.

"That is all. Go back to your room now."

"Aw, please let us stay TEC!" Amy wailed, getting on her knees and begging. "Don't you have cable or something?!"

"Just come on Amy. I'm sure he'll have something exciting next time…" Zelda assured while covering up a yawn. "We can perfect your headstand!"

"Oh great…"

While Zelda led Amy away, Peach stayed standing in the room.

"Princess Peach?"

She turned around with a light smile. "Thank you…you're still a weird computer TEC…"

The princess left in a better mood. If TEC could, TEC would have blinked.

"Good night, Princess Peach…"

* * *

**...I don't like this one... but the good thing about a not-so good chapter is that you can get even more excited for the next chapter! Especially when it's a...**

**BOWSER CHAPTER TOMORROW! I love Bowser chapters! XD They're just so much fun! **


	49. On Clouds, Under Water

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 48: On Clouds, Under Water

Team Bowser was gathered outside the entry way to the Glitzville Blimp, pondering over their situation.

"My lord! I've received reports of a great secret in the floating town of Glitzville!" Kammy explained to Bowser and company. "Let's ride the Cheep Blimp there! Come now!"

"Is she kidding? I'm too good for a simple blimp!" scoffed Ganondorf.

"It doesn't even have the word "egg" in its name. It's so unworthy!" Eggman exclaimed.

"I have a _better_ idea!" Bowser announced, sneaking off. He motioned for his team to follow, and after exchanging evil smirks, followed suit.

Meanwhile, Kammy was talking to the Cheep Cheep guard.

"You there! Four tickets! One great and evil king! One smart and round egg-ling! One dark lord bragging! And one sweet, young thing!"

"Guh-guh-Good gravy!" he stammered. "B-Bowser! The evil king! And two co-horts and a deluded old hag! I…uh…LIFE'S TOO SHORT!"

He hopped the fence ran alongside the train's track. Kammy fumed.

"…WHAT did he just say?! Hey! Come back here you! Impudent little cheep-skate!"

Kammy groaned and turned back to her evil crew, only to find them not there.

"Hey! I'm talking to myself! Where'd Lord Bowser go?"

As she searched, Bowser's Koopa Klown Kar and Eggman's carrier with Ganondorf in the back floated by.

"Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! Forget that wimpy blimpy! I'll be riding in THIS baby!" Bowser boasted.

"I'll be riding first class in my own specially designed vehicle…" Eggman snickered.

"…I'll be riding with him…"

"Don't you have a horse or something?"

"Horses can't fly!"

"We've snuck into Glitzville once before, so we know the way!" Bowser continued to explain. "No problem-o!"

"You go easy on your old limbs and take the slow ride on the blimp, Gramma!" cackled Ganondorf.

"Here we go!"

They trio blasted by Kammy, causing her to spin around viciously on her broom. This caused the broom to disappear and for her to fall.

"Wait! Lord Bowser, please! Awwww…" she moaned. "Now my Special Dirigible Deluxe Brown Bag Kammy Lunch will go to waste!"

**Up in the Sky-**

"Ah, this is way better than taking a blimp!" sighed Eggman, chilling at the wheel.

"I think we're almost there!" added Ganondorf while he peered over the edge. Just then, Bowser's Kar started sputtering.

"Huh? That doesn't sound good…What's that warning light? Oh, don't tell me…"

Bowser came to a complete stop and toppled upside down.

"ARRGGHH!"

"Didn't we fill up the same time as Bowser and take off around the same time too and went the same distance?" Eggman asked slowly.

"Yeah…who cares?"

"Then shouldn't _we_ be out of gas too?"

"Oh CRAP!"

**Underwater-**

Bowser's Kar lay half submerged in ocean sand, and Bowser wasn't not too far away. Moments later, Eggman and Ganondorf crashed right next to him.

"What the heck guys?!"

"We were out of gas too, apparently…" Eggman muttered. "...so we fell out of the sky too."

"How can we breathe underwater?"

"How can people breathe on the moon?"

"Good point…"

"Well, I'm ready to roll. You guys too?" Bowser asked.

"Sure." "Why not?"

The three swam over a piece of coral, just now recalling that they were a lot lighter underwater. Eggman did a front flip, knowing he could **never** do that on land. Ganondorf fired a Blooper with his powers and Bowser bulldozed a path for them. He broke a yellow block and wolfed down some meat, growing a few inches.

"How come you hog all the edibles?!" complained Eggman.

"'cause I'm the leader! Yeah baby!"

Eggman and Ganondorf exchanged a look as their "leader" swam ahead and ate more meat. They sighed and followed him anyway, knowing they had no choice. Bowser, being big, flawlessly swam over an undertoe while Eggman was nearly sucked in and Ganondorf could hardly overcome the vacuum power of the water- not that he really wanted to save Eggman anyway.

"Pull, man, PULL!"

"I could if your mustache didn't weight 3 pounds…or if you weren't so fat!"

"Just shut up and YANK!"

"I'll yank your arm off first!"

"Ugh, what's the hold up?!" Bowser whined, swimming back.

"Eggman here got stuck in a whirlpool!"

"For the last time, I am-"

"Robuttnik, blah blah blah!"

"You're worse than that hedgehog!"

"Ugh, let ME do it! Takes a man with meat on his bones…and I don't mean fat!"

"I can _hear_ you!"

Bowser shoved Ganondorf out of the way and grabbed Eggman's gloved hand. He roared and snorted as he tugged, but eventually pulled Eggman out and hit Ganondorf in the face with his foot.

"Argh! Idiots!"

"I'm alive!"

"My _eyesight_ isn't!"

"Aw calm down! It's just a light kick to the head!"

Bowser scoffed to Ganondorf and swam right by. Ganondorf put his hands on his hips and hissed.

"Well then!"

Eggman said nothing as he floated forward.

"Let's just get out of here…"

Ganondorf raised an eyebrow, but didn't argue. He speed-swam forward, bypassing Bowser and snagging some meat before Bowser could swallow it in one bite. Ganondorf also grew, and Eggman was just mad he didn't get to grow at all. Bowser picked up another meat and sighed.

"…take this one…"

Eggman snatched it and wolfed it down before Bowser changed his mind.

"…but_ I_ get anymore we find!"

He was then hit in the head with a X-naut from nowhere, and he shrunk back down to twice Ganondorf and Eggman's size.

"I need two more pieces of meat to be invincible briefly!" he roared, scorching the X-naut that took away his power. Eggman dodged a Blooper and bounded over coral.

"Here's one over here!"

He tossed it into Bowser's mouth, making him grown once more.

"Need one more!"

Ganondorf grunted and gave up his own power. It manifested back into meat, which Bowser gulped…

"YEEEEE-HAWH!"

Bowser was about the size of the water itself, shining with a yellow shimmer. Eggman and Ganondorf jumped onto his shoulders.

"Yes! Pure destruction of the Underwater World!" Ganondorf cackled as Bowser stomped through brick blocks, trampled X-nauts and Bloopers, and crushed coral with no pain.

"Hey! Look out for that-" Eggman began, only to be cut off by Bowser's foot stepping on the spring, causing the three of them to rocket back to land.

"So much for ruling Underwater World…" sighed Ganondorf.

"There's always next time!" Eggman assured. They held on to Bowser's horns while he brought down several blocks and snapped the finishing flagpole in two.

"Oh yeah! THIS is power!" he roared happily.

"Didn't you say it was only temporary…"

Bowser suddenly shrank, Eggman and Ganondorf landing full force onto him. Luckily, they were back at the docks of Rogueport.

"That could have gone better…" Bowser moaned. "Will you two fatties get off me?!"

"Can't…too much…pain…"

When all three could stand up again, Bowser started panting "Hack…oog...That was terrible… I gotta get in shape…"

"And you're calling _us_ fat!"

The patrons of the dock started cowering in fear.

"Who's…? WAAAUUGH! It's Bowser, the Koopa King and two old men!" screamed Bomberto.

"He'll eat us!" wailed a Toad.

"Somebody help!" cried another.

All three ran past Kammy Koopa, who was loaded with balloons and Rawk Hawk gear. She wondered just what was going on, until she found Bowser, Eggman, and Ganondorf sopping wet and gasping for breath. Kammy raised an eyebrow and curiously putted over.

"THERE you are Lord Bowser! What are you men doing here? I've been looking all over!" she exclaimed. "If I may ask, where have you been, Your Sogginess?"

Bowser folded his arms and grumbled. "…Swimming."

"We decided to take a dive…"

"Really? Neat! As for me…Glitzville was FANTASTIC! The fights were so cool! I was overcome! Why, even at _my_ age, I was shaking what my momma gave me! And then…the _hot dogs_! Oh, my gracious! YUMMERLY! You have fun too, hm?"

"…GRARGH!!!"

Bowser huffed a full power fire breath attack at Kammy, disintegrating her broom and burning her and her souvenirs to a crisp.

"Lord Bowser…is that a "no"?"

"This is a no!" growled Ganondorf, stepping on her back.

"It was terrible, do you hear me?! I swallowed a dang Blooper!"

"You shouldn't have opened your mouth to do a battle cry like that…" scoffed Eggman.

"I wanted to have fun! But forget it! It's over! Go get me some solid info on Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars! NOW!"

"I bet not much has progressed with them..." murmured Ganondorf.

Eggman nodded in agreement. "Especially when no one even knows where they are."

"They...might be pretty bored," Bowser stated, now entering the conversation.

"Yeah. Almost feel bad for them- but not really, though."

"Oh, of course not!" "Heveans, no..."

And now they stood on the docks in silence, dripping with water and waiting for Kammy to return with the information.


	50. Mission of Mystery

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 49: Mission of Mystery

The group all huddled around the mayor, who was thanking and apologizing to Mario.

"I can't believe it was a fake Mario all that time…" Dour sighed. "So we were all fooled…"

"Yeah…I feel like a hypocrite now!" Link admitted.

"I'm so sorry Mario…After all you've done for our town…did we hurt your feelings?"

Mario: Maybe a little…

Sonic threw an arm around his shoulders. "Well don't feel bad! Nothing to worry about now! We're back, we're with you, and that's all that matters now!"

"I can't believe you wouldn't believe me though…" grumbled Kirby. "I mean, wouldn't it be kind of suspicious if Mario led you back to Creepy Steeple just to fight someone you already thought you defeated?"

"Stop making me feel even more guilty!" Link snapped.

"Are you kidding? I'll milk it for all it's worth!"

"So then!" continued the mayor. "You've brought a shining ray of light to our dim little town! Twilight Town thanks you!"

"Hey Mario…we need to head back to Rogueport right? Let's go!" Vivian stated.

"Yeah! I want to get out of this creepy town as soon as possible!" Link exclaimed.

"Someone's still scared…"

"Don't mock me, Goombella!"

Mario mentally sighed. "Some things never change…"

He led the gang back down Twilight Town's pipe, since his name was on his overalls again…

**Sewers-**

"All right Kirby! This is the part where we head to the magic Thousand Year Door and hold up the Crystal Stars!" Sonic explained. "The door is really huge too!"

"Sounds cool!"

Just then, the Mailbox SP went off and Mario whipped it out, expecting his usual letter from Peach.

_My dear Mario,_

_I have finally learned what the legendary treasure is. It is the spirit of a demon! The X-nauts plan to revive this thousand-year-old monster…and use its power to take over the worlds! They're collecting the Crystal Stars so they can open the Thousand Year Door…they'll find this demon's spirit…but the only thing that can keep it locked away are the Crystal Stars themselves! You must not let them get the Crystal Stars! Please Mario…Link, Sonic, Kirby, and maybe Samus…You must put a stop to their horrible plans!_

_Princess Peach, Princess Zelda, and Amy Rose_

"Wait, wait, wait, wait…the girls are kidnapped? Again?!" exclaimed Kirby.

"Yeah. Happened after we split up…" Sonic explained. "Not a surprise, really…"

"Will you two focus? Our cute little treasure hunt has turned into a battle for a demon's soul!" Link wailed.

**Thousand Year Door-**

"I can't believe there's a demon behind that door…" Vivian trailed.

"It's not a comforting feeling, that's for sure!" Kirby gulped.

Nevertheless, the four jumped onto the pedestal, Kirby holding up the Ruby Star and Mario, Link, and Sonic putting out the Diamond, Emerald, and Gold stars too. The area started to light up in the now familiar blue light, making Kirby gasp in awe.

"What's happening?!"

"Wait for it…"

The designs of the previous three stars made an imprint in the light, the Ruby Star floating out of Kirby's hands and landing in its rightful spot. The power of the stars caused Mario's map to hover in the air, collecting power to record the next destination…

_In the south lay and island, and on the island was a cave, known as the Pirate's Grotto, held the next Crystal Star- a vibrant Sapphire one, at that._

The glass shattering noise rang out, and the map fell back into Mario's hand. The party all gathered around while Mario nodded and read it.

"Quick! Let's cruise up to the prof's office! We have to tell that guy about Princess Peach's email!" Spike said excitedly.

"Gulp…that's an island…r-right…"

"Yes. That's an island Sonic."

Mario: Oh yeah!

"Oh RINGS!"

**Professor Frankly's Place-**

"Whuh-Whuh-WHAAAAAT?!" the elderly mushroom wailed. "Th-That was written in the princess' email?! The legendary treasure is the spirit of an ancient demon…and those fiends want to use the power of the Crystal Stars to resurrect it?"

"Tragic, eh?"

"How bone-chilling…sadly, it does seem to be consistent with what I've uncovered…"

"Well, c'mon! Give it up prof! What did you find out!"

"This is rather long, so you'd best listen well-"

"Aw MAN!"

"Just drop it Sonic…"

"Are all of you ready? And you there! In front of the computer! You listen up too!"

"Computer?" "What computer…" "The heck?!" "Fourth wall!"

"Did someone pile-drive you head, or what? I don't see any computer in here, nut job!" Spike sneered.

"OH, NEVER YOU MIND!"

"Whoa! Anger management!" Kirby stated.

"Don't worry about such trivial details. Just listen! The great cataclysm that I read about in that book may well refer to this demon…it says that a monster destroyed a large town that once stood on this very area. It ALSO says that the seven Crystal Stars were actually CREATED by this monster…and that this thing used the power of the Crystal Stars to try and control this world…"

"Must be some book!" exclaimed Sonic.

"According to this book, the demon was defeated in the end by four heroes. But only the beast's psychical form was destroyed…its spirit could not be eradicated. So, the heroes used the Crystal Stars, which they stole from the demon, and they cast the evil beast into the depths of a vast maze, and sealed the exit…"

"Doesn't take a genius to see that's the Thousand Year Door, right?" Kirby asked while nibbling on a Shroom.

"From this, I gather that the Crystal Stars cannot distinguish good from evil. So, if they're all united, they could either seal away or resurrect the demon. It seems that who wields the Crystal Stars determines if they're used for evil or good."

"Then couldn't it be for the best if we don't get these stars after all?" Link asked.

"Yeah, even if we do get them all, someone could just steal them and revive the demon!" Spike agreed. "Maybe we outta stomp the heck out of 'em and throw the pieces away!"

"That was my first though too, but further research suggests we can't do that. There's a slight possibility the Thousand-Year Door is weakening. It seems the Crystal Stars hold the power to seal the beast for a thousand years. So, once a thousand years pass, the power to keep the door sealed shut will fail. Unfortunately, this year may be the thousandth year. Bad luck, huh?"

"That is so typical!" Kirby cried in an outburst. "I wish it was last year, that way we could have 999 years instead of a thousand behind us. We could use the remaining year to get the Crystal Stars, then build up the seal again!"

"Too bad that's impossible!"

"Why can't there be like, a "three-day window" or something instead?"

"The fact those goons want the Crystal Stars now may be coincidence…or maybe not. In other words, we must be ready for the demon's return, even if the X-nauts fail."

"Well let's roll then! We gotta get the rest of the Crystal Stars!"

"Hrmm…According to the map, it appears to be somewhere on Keelhaul Key." Frankly explained. "I'm none too familiar with the place, but I've heard countless unsavory rumors. You know, the usual stuff…Vengeful spirits full of hatred, evil curses, things like that…I'm sure the sea salts down by the harbor know more."

"This already doesn't sound good…haunted island…surrounded by water…" Sonic moaned, exiting the house. Everyone ignored Sonic's fear of water and entered the Shine Sprite place, where they leveled up Vivian using 3 of their 7 Shine Sprites. When that was done, everyone gathered outside to decide what to do next.

"Well, Frankly said to talk to the "sea salts" down by the harbor, but where's the rush in that?" shrugged Sonic.

"Besides, I want to check out the Help Center!" Link input. Everyone stared at him. "What now?!"

"The Help Center?"

"Yeah, why not? I just wanted to do one little mission before we head off, you know?"

"It's up to Mario!" Kirby pointed out. "What do you say?"

Mario: Why not…?

"YES!"

Link stormed into the room and scanned the troubles.

"Hit me please…listen to me…seeking legendary book-don't we have that?- what kind of troubles ARE these?!"

"Well, Zest T. IS looking for a legendary book! Didn't we find a cookbook in Creepy Steeple?" Sonic inquired.

"Oh yeah! Maybe we should give that to her! Or we could keep it for ourselves and I could make the recipes!" protested Link. Kirby took a look at the list and widened his eyes.

"Hey…who's the ???? Person?" he wondered. Everyone gathered around.

_I'm after an elusive badge. Must explain in person. Meet me on the roof of Zest T's House in Rogueport Square._

"Apparently they're after a badge…"

"I say we take this one on!"

"But it could be dangerous!"

"Who cares?! Us fighting a demon is dangerous, and we're going to do it anyway!"

"…"

"So are you taking this trouble on?"

"Yes we are!"

"Then do it and do it right!"

The gang left and headed for Rogueport Square.

"Okay, how do we get on the roof?" Vivian asked.

"I could probably float us up there, but we have too many people now…" Kirby deduced.

"Can't we get up there from the inn anyway?" Sonic recalled.

"Oh yeah! Let's go!"

When they entered the bar, they found Team Luigi hanging around discussing their next plan of action. Luigi looked up and saw Mario.

"Hey bro! I'm back from Circuit Break!" he said cheerfully. Link cracked his knuckles.

"We have some unfinished business here Luigi…" Link seethed.

"Leave him alone Link, I'm still alive…" Malon groaned, stepping in front of Luigi defensively.

"Yeah I'm fine too!"

Sonic's eyes widened. "…Tails?"

"_Sonic?_ Sonic!"

Tails let out a laugh and gave Sonic a hug. Sonic was still smacked surprised.

"Wha…how are you here?!"

"I learned how to teleport after you left!" Tails explained. "I accidentally ran into Luigi and Malon, and they decided to help me do my job on Circuit Break Island!"

"It's a long, but interesting story…" Torque trailed, sliding a death glare to Luigi.

"Wanna hear bro.?" Luigi asked. Mario shrugged. "Okay then! Like I said, it's a long story but here it goes…"

**Sometime later-**

"-and it was all because of Luigi, but he couldn't have done it without my awesome upgrading technology!" Tails finished proudly.

"That's great Tails! Really, it is!" Sonic stated. "…remember what I told you?"

Tails placed a hand under his chin while thinking it over. He recalled their previous meeting, and his eyes lit up. "Of course! Why?"

"Do you want to come adventuring with me, like I promised?"

Link appeared next to Sonic's side and leaned on his head. "Yeah Tails! You could be a great asset to our team!"

"Do I look like an arm rest to you?"

Tails just stared forward while Malon gasped and Luigi messed with his hat. Blooey and Jerry exchanged glances while Torque looked up at Tails.

"Y-You can go if you want…" Malon trailed. "I understand how you felt…"

"It's your choice Tails…" Luigi offered quietly. Tails gave a firm nod and turned back to Sonic.

"Sonic…as much as I'd love to travel with you…I can't. Luigi and Malon are my friends now, and I've decided I'll continue to travel with them! We're all just a bunch of sidekicks, but with this adventure, we're going to prove we're better than that!"

"Oh Tails!" Malon cried, rushing forward and crushing her friend in a hug. Tails sighed with a smile, though said nothing. He looked up to Sonic to hear what he had to say. To his surprise, Sonic actually was grinning (though in retrospect, that wasn't surprising at all).

"I'm proud of you, little buddy. You don't need me to have an adventure, that's for sure! Besides, I trust you with Luigi-as long as Malon has your back…"

"Don't worry- she's got all of me…" he struggled to say, since Malon was crushing his lungs. Malon let go and glared at Link.

"At least someone trusts someone in this group!" she stated sharply. Link held up his hands.

"Whoa, what did I do?!"

"You were threatening to take me home while Sonic just says "Cool you go for it!" What's up with that?!"

"I want you to have your own adventure, I really do but-"

"You don't trust Luigi though! He may be klutz, he may be an idiot, he may be a loser, he may be the most uncoordinated, unsophisticated-"

"I think we get the point…"

"Sorry…anyway, no matter how degraded you think Luigi is, I trust him, and if you trust me, then you'll accept my decision to travel with Luigi as my leader!"

Malon stood boldly next to Luigi, and Luigi just gave a sheepish grin.

"…I trust Luigi…" Tails trailed.

"We don't!" Blooey, Jerry, and Torque chimed. "…but that's just because we're out to get him."

"Yeah, overall, he's a pretty good guy…" Jerry admitted. "He's just a guy who scars people for life!

"He'd be fine if he didn't owe me money!" snapped Torque.

"I'll always hate Luigi-I'll never be called the White Torpedo again!" Blooey wailed.

"Urgh, get over it!" all of Team Luigi shouted.

"Well then!"

"I'd like to hear about the rest of your adventures, but we have to get to the roof, like now so…" Kirby stuttered.

"Oh don't worry- I'll definitely be hearing next time!" Link swore, glaring while climbing up the stairs. "About wherever you're going next!"

"Jazzafrazz Town!" Tails called up.

"Whatever!"

"Uh…see you guys later!"

"Bye?"

Mario's gang rushed up the stairs, leaving Luigi's gang to raise eye brows at each other.

**On the Roof Of Zest T.'s-**

"Why must you be a jerk Link…" sighed Goombella.

"I'm not a…Ms. Mowz?!"

"_Ms. Mowz?!_ What the-"

Said white mouse sat on the other side of the roof, giggling and winking at the group.

"Mmm hmm hmm hmm! Hi, Mr. Mustache-Cutie and Hedgehog Hunk! I'm the one with the trouble!" she squeaked. "Mm…I'm a pretty lucky girl to have strapping fellows like you to take on my trouble.

"Who are you?" Kirby asked suspiciously. "Don't try to sweet-talk _me_ or anything, 'cause I have a girlfriend! I know I'm cute and irresistible, but I'm sure you can control yourself-"

"Kirby, that's a badge thief that has a crush on me and Mario. Nothing to worry about…" Sonic explained.

"She hates me and my tuxedo!" sobbed Link.

"Well, let me get right to it, okay?" Ms. Mowz continued.

----

The figure,_ once again_, arrived at the wrong time. It peeked over the edge of the roof to see Ms. Mowz, but this time with Mario, Link, Sonic, and Kirby. It growled and slid down the other side to go unseen.

"Good Lord! Every time I'm close to nabbing Ms. Mowz, they have to show up! Why?!" The figure pounded its fist into a roof tile. "If I go up there now, my cover will be blown, and I am not risking it unless absolutely necessary!"

Nevertheless, the figure listened in onto the conversation.

----

"I've done all I can to find this one elusive badge, but I've failed at every turn. The badge is hidden in Hooktail's lair. Of that much, I'm sure…"

"Couldn't you have told us that while we were there?" whined Link.

"I went to check that room after I heard you defeated Hooktail, but…nothing. I did hear rumors that to find this badge, one has to use wind…I have no idea what that means though, so look for it, okay sweeties?"

"the wind? Sound like a job for me!" Sonic bragged proudly.

"Or more likely me…" Flurrie scoffed back.

"Yeah, yeah, that's possible too…"

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Kirby cheered. "Will we teleport, or are we walking?"

"We can at least teleport into the castle, then work our way up!" Sonic suggested.

"But there's that huge spiral staircase…" gulped Koops.

"Ah, it'll be good exercise!" Link exclaimed, grabbing his partner's arm. "Let's hurry!"

"Yeah, that's why you passed out-"

"THAT'S enough talking!"

"Link, you never change…"

Mario: In some ways, that's for the best!

"Hey!"

The gang laughed before Link, Sonic, and Kirby snapped their fingers, and they disappeared. Ms. Mowz gave a small smile before whipping off her red mask and running into the badge store.

"I'll head back to work before they come back…" she decided, the only distinguishable feature the heart in her tail.

----

The figure crawled out of its hiding place and just looked on, more at the group that just teleported rather than Ms. Mowz's secret identity.

"…seems like they all made up…"

It now sat on the roof, staring into space.

"…maybe being alone isn't as good as it sounded…"

**Hooktail's Castle, Spiral Stair Case-**

"So THIS is where the Diamond Star Mario likes so much was at!" Sonic exclaimed, head thrown back to gawk at the large tower with the spiral staircase.

"We have to climb that _again?!" _cried Koops, feeling a stroke coming on.

"I'll beat all you slow-mos up there!" the hedgehog called, leaving a bright blue blur where he had once stepped.

"Oh yeah?!" Kirby called, running after but ended up tripping and bouncing back down. "You know…I'll just float…"

He puffed his cheeks full of air five times and hovered after Sonic.

"I can't believe he just left me!" Vivian complained.

"I feel ya, sister…" Spike sighed, deciding to start heading up the stairs. Link and Koops exchanged worried glances before starting the climb up also. Mario, Goombella, and Flurrie stayed toward the back in case anyone passed out.

"Oh MAN! They really need to build an elevator…" wheezed Spike, hardly able to keep going.

"I wish I had a claw-shot…" Link panted.

"I need an inhaler!" wailed Koops.

"Aw, get a grip you guys! I don't want to go down this road again!" Goombella yelled up.

"I can tell I wasn't missing anything!" exclaimed Flurrie.

Everyone finally reached the top where Sonic and Kirby were impatiently waiting.

"About time you showed up!" Sonic sniffed. No one could reply because they were out of breath- except Mario, but he never talked anyway.

"This is a huge door!" Kirby randomly shrieked. "It may even compare to the thousand-year one!"

"Nah, I think the Thousand-Year Door is bigger…" Link decided.

"This one!" "That one!" "_This_ one!!" "_That_ one!" "THIS ONE!!!" "THAT ONE!!"

"Who CARES!" screamed Sonic. Kirby and Link instantly shut up. Mario just glace a sorry glance at both of them and pushed the large door opened.

Kirby made a face of his own. "What was up with the look, Mario?!"

"Yeah, trying to cheese us off or something?!" Link dissed back. "'Cause I am CHEESED!"

"You know, you haven't taken a chill pill in a while…" Goombella pointed out. Link grabbed his throat and put on a look off horror.

"Yeeeeeeeaaaahhh, I'll calm down now…"

"Ooh! Window!"

Kirby ran to check out the window, with half the group doing what they came here to do, and the other half gaping in disbelief at Kirby. Mario, meanwhile used Flurrie's wind power to remove an invisible thingy…and reveal a small brown chest. Everyone except Kirby gathered around to observe the treasure.

"Wow! I wonder what mystical, incredible badge is in there!" Link gasped.

"Open it! Open it! Open it!" cheered Spike. Mario nodded and unclipped the latch on the chest. He dramatically lifted the lid, and reached his hand inside.

"This is so exciting! It's…it's…it's…"

"A Sound FX Badge?" Kirby pondered, suddenly peering over Mario's shoulder.

"WHAT!" "This is outrageous!" "You call that rare?! I call it lame!" "She can KEEP this stupid badge!"

"Hey! Be nice to the poor badge!" Kirby scolded, snatching it from Mario and cradling it in his arms. "It didn't do anything to you!"

"Whatever, let's just get it back to Ms. Mowz…"

**Ms. Mowz on a roof-**

Ms. Mowz's inner instinct kicked in at the right moment, because as soon as she returned to the roof, Mario and company returned with the badge.

"Mmm hmm hmm hmm…those faces…does it mean you returned with the badge?" she asked.

Everyone-but Kirby- had glum faces. Kirby cheerfully skipped over and held out the badge.

"This is it, right?"

"Well, this certainly is the badge I was looking for! Oh, my, yes! Mmm hmm hmm…now, my sweet-"

"Again, me or you?" Sonic wondered. Mario shrugged and shook his head.

"-Promise to hear me out without getting mad. You see…I was the one that hid that badge…it was a little game of mine."

"WHAT!?" Link roared, getting ready to throw Ms. Mowz off the side of the house. Mario and Kirby restrained him while Sonic plopped a chill pill into his mouth with Honey Syrup. He instantly went limp.

"Wow…I need to get a prescription for Knuckles!"

"I have to apologize…But I knew you would find it, my handsome cheese hunk…"

"Okay, she was talking to me!" Sonic finalized.

"You may have even more badge-finding skill than I do!" She then held her small paw up to her chin in thought. "Hm! I just thought of something. Perhaps I should just travel with you from now on…"

Sonic, Goombella, Vivian, and Flurrie: NO!

Koops, Spike, and Link: YEAH!

Mario: Eh, what the heck?

Kirby: Hooray!

"Well, I'm sure to find lots of badges that way, don't you think?"

"You remind me of Rouge, a lot…" Sonic quivered. "…and that's the type I shouldn't trust!"

"Now about that reward…let's see…" she continued, ignoring everyone's comments. "Take the badge you managed to find…but I expect you to lead me to more!"

She tossed it into Sonic's hands, only for Kirby to jump up and intercept the prize.

"Now, let me formally state…that you will now enjoy the pleasure of my company!"

Mario: Who wants her?

"I'm good with Koops!" "Vivian's fine…" "I have a Soul Partner now!"

Ms. Mowz placed her hands on her hips. "Hmph! I'll just go with Mr. Mustache then!"

She pecked Mario with another kiss, causing Goombella to grit her teeth.

"Oh no you don't! _I'm_Mario's partner! I just got this spot from Flurrie!"

"Well, you don't exactly domuch, Goombella-"

"Quiet Link, or I'll do something to your head!"

Mario _did_need to see if Ms. Mowz was going to live up to her expectations, so he allowed her to be his partner. Goombella glared daggers while Link silently snickered from behind.

"Now that Link's trouble is solved, I think it's safe to safe we should head to the docks!" Kirby announced.

"That makes us closer to an…island…" stammered Sonic.

"So it's an island surrounded by water! What's the fear in that?" Spike scoffed.

"Well, it's haunted, has water, it uncharted, has water, has wild plants and stuff- surrounded by water…"

"Let's just hurry…"

So the gang, now with their Semi-Friend Ms. Mowz, headed for the docks to learn more about where the next Crystal Star was located.

-----

The figure had mysteriously disappeared.

* * *

**Ms. Mowz has joined the team! How could I resist? XD And the next chapter is another you've been waiting for...the revealing of the mysterious figure! *cue epic music* Chapter 5 is going to be awesome!!!**


	51. Bomb's Away!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 50: Bomb's Away!

"Wow…there sure is a lot more cargo since the last time we've been here!" Kirby exclaimed, referring to all the crates scattered about the harbor.

"Who should we talk to first?"

"Um…that purple bomb-omb!"

Mario trotted up to Pa-Patch, who was keeping track of all the haul.

Mario: Hi!

"No matter 'ow much I work, life never gets easier for me, know wha' I mean?"

"Ah, yes. Yes I do…" sighed Link.

"Oh, like you _really_ have a hard life!"

"I have to herd goats when I'm not saving the day! They butt **hard**!"

"HOLY SHIP!"

Everyone turned to where Kirby was pointing to see a bright yellow ship sitting in the harbor.

"Well THAT certainly wasn't there before…" Sonic said.

"But who does it belong to?"

"She belongs to Flavio, the merchant trader…" a Toad with torn yellow-orange overalls said, walking up to them. "He don't sail too often. Mostly he just hangs at Podley's joint in plaza…"

"You mean the place under the inn where Luigi's team was?"

"Where we were just at?!"

"…wow…"

"Looks like we're backtracking…"

"Wait! I want to talk to Bomberto!"

"Why?"

"He might have more info!"

"Kirby, Kirby, Kirby…"

Kirby nevertheless skipped up to the blue sailor bomb.

"Hello sea salt! Know anything about Keelhaul Key?" he asked cheerfully. Bomberto's face fell.

"Ooh…Keelhaul Key… Listen, mate…Don't ask me about that place. I got no need for a curse from the pirate king."

"Pirate King? What Pirate King?" Link wanted to know.

"I just 'aid don't ask me! Go ask that other sailor Bob-omb!"

Bomberto (somehow) pointed over to a bomb that looked exactly like him only a bit more innocent.

"I'm not liking the sound of Keelhaul Key very much anymore…"

"Sonic, you didn't like it when you first heard it was an island!"

"I can't help that, now can I?!"

"Whatever…HEY! YOU!"

They ran over to the bomb, who was looking quite perplexed.

"What do you know about Keelhaul Key?" Goombella inquired.

"K-Keelhaul Key?" the sailor shivered. "You mean the island where the treasure hoard of Cortez, the pirate king, is hidden? Keep an eye out or the pirate curse'll get 'cha!"

"…this is so unfair…"

**Podley's Joint-**

"Hey…Luigi, Malon, and Tails are gone!" Kirby noticed.

"They did have to hurry to Jazzafrazz Town anyway…" Koops input.

"I hope they have fun!"

"Guys focus! Which one of these people is Flavio?" Link wondered.

"Well, besides the fact he's in my book, maybe he's the red garbed pirate with a red skull gem singing a pirate song!"

"Sheesh, there's nice way to tell people things, ya know…"

Mario sighed and headed up to the guy. He tapped his shoulder to get him to quit singing.

"What do you want ah? Who, me, you ask about? Ah! I am called Flavio. I am, how you say? A trader. I am the richest man in Rogueport."

"Great! Spare some cash?"

"Link…"

"Monetary wealth gives me freedom, yes, and freedom gives me wealth of spirit! And yet…why is it that a man whose life is unchained must always long for yet more, ah?"

"Because people are selfish and greedy!"

"What is missing from my life? This tears at my very insides! I must know! What is it that I lack?"

He paused, as if he wanted the group to answer.

"Romance, definitely," said Kirby.

Mario: I'd say emotion.

"Probably thrills!" Sonic exclaimed.

"Money, maybe?" Link suggested.

"He's the richest guy in the city-I'd think he has enough money!"

"Oh yeah! Trash on MY input, of course! Why can't someone yell at Mario instead, ah?"

Mario: Cause I'm awesome!

"Well, I think its thrills, because sitting around doing nothing is lame and boring!" Sonic claimed.

"Thrills, you say, ah? I suppose one does need thrills every now and then…there is nothing like the feeling of being alone on a mountain, shivering to death…"

"What the?!?" "How is that a thrill?!"

"AH! NO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not CHILLS, you silly man! What I need are THRILLS!"

"Is he talking to himself?"

"Wait! Hold the horses! That is it!!"

He walked around to the other side of the table, the gang stepping out of the way.

"Now that I am thinking of it…I once heard of the treasure of Cortez, the pirate king…"

"Aw, no…" moaned the hedgehog.

"Yes! This is the answer! Oh, such happiness for Flavio! A hunt for pirate treasure! Why that just shrieks of romance and thrills and emotion and even money!"

"That's a good solution!" bragged Link.

"It's an adventure that has everything!" Kirby cheered.

"Including water…"

"Come on Sonic! You're…well, _Sonic_! You can't be THAT afraid of water!" Spike scoffed.

"Well, I am, and I don't know how I manage to even take a shower…"

"Okay, that's sad-"

_"All right!_ No more word about it!"

Flavio whirled around to the group arguing behind him.

"Do you not know the tale? The pirate king's treasure? Hidden on Keelhaul Key?" he asked.

Sonic made a face. "I've heard enough thank you very much!"

"Ah! Well, tales say that the pirate king, Cortez, hid his hoard of pirate booty there."

"heh heh, pirate booty…"

"Nice, Kirby. Nice."

"For years, treasure hunters and ruffians have gone there in search of the loot…but not a single one of them ever returned! Oh, the horror makes my back tingle! People here whisper that the ghost of Cortez attacks all who seek his treasure…eek! It is because of those very rumors that people no longer go to Keelhaul Key."

"W-Well, it's just a rumor right?" Kirby asked.

"Rumors are always born from a shard of truth!" Goombella pointed out. "It's a rather famous saying…"

"But that will not stop Flavio! That treasure is there, yes! And I am going to prove it! For I am Flavio! Trader extraordinaire, millionaire, sailor of the seven seas!"

Mario held up his hand to inform Flavio about how they were hunting for "treasure" too.

"What is that? You are also looking for a treasure here in Rogueport?"

"Yepperdoodle!" Kirby chirped.

"Why talk such craziness? There isn't anything like that in this dull armpit of a town. You cannot be believing each stupid rumor about treasures some sea urchin spews out. No no no no no no NO!"

"Um, sorry to interrupt your rant, but the only reason I'll even go to Keelhaul Key is for a Crystal Star," Sonic explained.

"Besides, _you're_ believing a rumor about the treasure on Keelhaul Key!"

"Ugh, we've found the Kolorado of Rogueport…" added Link.

"We even have a treasure map!" Kirby blurted out.

"KIRBY!"

"What?! He thinks were idiots!"

"W-Well…hand it over! Rather, I mean, show me!"

Mario sent a look to Kirby before pulling out the Magical Map and showing Flavio.

"You are having a joke on me. This map leads straight to Keelhaul Key! You swines! You mean to steal my treasure out from under me, you awful, awful men!"

"Hello? Some of us happen to be female, you know…" Ms. Mowz sniffed.

Sonic let out a sigh and grabbed Flavio's collar.

"Listen man! What part of "we're looking for **Crystal Stars**" don't you understand!?"

"Well now I am confused. You are looking for things known as the Crystal Stars?"

Sonic: Faints Anime style

"But now that I am thinking…a star-shaped stone WAS said to be in Cortez's hoard…Perhaps I could sell it for a staggering amount of cash? Yes, that would be…Ah! Stop such thoughts, Flavio. What you need is romance, thrills, and emotion. I cannot ignore what this business before me suggests…this must be fate at work! Flavio shall go with you to Keelhaul Key!"

"Oh GREAT!" "Just what we need…" "Kolorado de ja vu moment!" "Someone save us now…"

"Of course, the Crystal Star is yours, yes! But the rest of the treasure is mine!"

"We don't have a ship, so we'll just take yours then…"

"I will have a ship ready in no time! And it will be massive and glorious! Let us begin preparations immediately, shall we? I will volunteer myself as our intrepid leader! Yes!" Flavio pointed at Mario. "…and you will be captain!"

Mario jumped. Flavio turned to Link, Kirby and Sonic.

"You, first mate! You, manage the poop-deck! And you can be the lookout!"

"Grrreeeeaaatt…I get to stare at miles of water…" moaned Sonic, finally coming to.

"Ah! Danger and adventure tickle my nostrils! Come to the harbor right away!"

He grabbed the shiny red gem sitting on the table and took off in a flash. Everyone simply looked on.

"I already don't trust this guy…" Link seethed.

"Well, unless you want to call up the tuna-whale, we're going to have to take his ship!" exclaimed Kirby.

"Excuse me? A tuna-whale?" Flurrie wondered.

"It's a long, fearful story…" Sonic sighed. "Just…never mind. Let's head to the harbor…"

"I dunno…this Tuna-Whale sounds cool!"

"You'll have second thoughts Spike…"

**Harbor-**

Back at the ship, a variety of crew members were already aboard Flavio's ship. A Store and Inn Toad, the young green Toad with green overalls, the yellow-orange Toad, Pa-Patch, an awfully familiar figure, and the sailor bomb they had talked to earlier was standing next to the ship. Flavio stood in the middle of all the commotion, looking way too proud.

"Wow. Apparently a lot of people want to be cursed…" Goombella mused.

"Let's not mention the curse, m'kay?"

They climbed onto the ship to talk to Flavio.

"Ah. It's you…sadly, a slight problem seems to have popped up…but feast your eyes on this outrageously fantastic ship! She is a fine vessel, no?"

"Before you start a rant again, let's get to the actual problem," Spike muttered.

"Yes, yes, yes, of course. The problem that has sprung up. Here is the issue. We…have no navigator. He ran off, the dog. The navigator, of course, is the highest-ranked helmsman. They steer ships, you know. Now, here is the real problem. The waters around Keelhaul Key are deathly dangerous. We need an absurdly skilled helmsman for our navigator. It is a, how you say? A pickle."

"So that mean no sailing across the ocean?!"

"Don't get your hopes up."

"Oy, Flavio!" Pa-Patch called. "Heard you talkin' 'ere sir! If you don't mind me sayin'…I might 'ave a solution."

"Do not tease me, Pa-Patch! You can solve our problem? Then spit it out already!"

"Well, sir, I've 'eard talk of a famed…no, a LEGENDARY sailor livin' in Rogueport. Yeah, I think he's called Admiral Bobbery…a salty old sea dog, by all accounts. But…he's said to 'ave the Helmsmen's Touch, sir: he can make any ship bow to his will. Thing is, there ain't a soul wot's seen him on the seas as of late…"

"Drat. No sea sailing adventure after all…" Sonic said, "disappointedly".

"As is customary, my captain and his mini crew will handle all negotiations. That…would be you, Mario. That DOES sound fair to everyone, does it not?"

"No complaints!" "Aye aye sir!" "Sound fair sir!" "I'm on board!" "Good plan!" "Sure thing!" "Not really…" "Get OVER it Sonic!"

"…Then it is decided." Flavio decided. "You must find this Bobbery and bring him here. Our future sails with you!"

**Plaza-**

"Okay, where the heck are we supposed to look for this sailor guy?" Spike wanted to know.

"I could always sniff him out!" Ms. Mowz chuckled.

"That's a great idea! Let's try it!"

"I was just-"

Mario randomly used Ms. Mowz's ability, and she pointed…er, sniffed, eastward.

"To the east!"

Ms. Mowz stopped them with a snarl. "I am a treasure hunting mouse, not a random person finder! Now, if you want to head east, I don't care, but I'm not saying I'm right!"

Link shrugged. "Whatever! We haven't really explored the east area anyway…"

**Eastern Area-**

Everyone stood around in the easternmost part of town, curious as to what to do next. Goombella searched around and remembered the one locked door from long ago. She trotted up and knocked on the door.

"Hey Mario! Link! Remember this house?" she asked.

"Yeah, but it's locked!"

"Maybe Bobbery's in it!"

"How are we supposed to get into a locked house?" question Kirby. "They don't lock it for nothing!"

Ms. Mowz scoffed. "Ha! If you haven't noticed yet, I'm a thief! I break into places all the time!"

"We've definitely noticed…" groaned Flurrie and Goombella.

"Are you saying you can break us in?" wondered Vivian. Ms. Mowz gave an amused hum and nodded. Suddenly, Arfer walked over and tapped on Mario's shoulder.

"Hey Mario? Have you seen Swindle?"

"Is he that blue guy over that little ledge that most of us could fly over except for Mario who would have to use Spike and from there we can get onto the roofs and access Bobbery's possible house?" Kirby asked.

Everyone: What the…'-'*

"What the heck was that, Kirby?"

Kirby shrugged. "I have my moments…"

"Mmm hmm hm hmm! Took the thought right of my head darling," Ms. Mowz chuckled.

"Don't try to bust a move on me, missy!"

Ms. Mowz turned away. "What's up with him?"

"it's a phase…"

"Anyway, if that's how we're finding this Bobbery guy, then let's do it!" Spike exclaimed, having Mario jump onto his back. Flurrie carried Goombella and Koops, Vivian vanished and reappeared over the gap, Kirby floated over, Sonic jumped over, Link nearly missed the edge and had to grab Sonic before he fell, and Spike half struggled to fly Mario over. So they passed Swindle, climbed up the crates, went over a gap once again, and came to the roof of the locked house. Ms. Mowz investigated the chimney.

"Mmm hmm! The chimney is the ideal entrance…but the opening is too small. Any ideas?"

"I think Mario's on a roll!"

"Link, give it a rest…"

"No really look-"

He was cut off by Mario using his "tube curse" and rolling everyone into the chimney, perfectly fitting through the hole.

"Ah!" "Oomph…unh!" "Cough cough…when was the last time this guy had a chimney sweep?!" "My eyes!" "Ah, memories!" "ho ho ho!"

A old Bob-omb with a very wild moustache instantly turned to the sound of the thud and guffawed at the sight of people arriving in his house through a chimney…in the shape of a tube.

"What do you blokes want?" he instantly snapped. Sonic dusted himself off and shrugged.

"We're looking for a guy named Admiral Bobbery…heard of him?"

The bomb's mustache slightly twitched, but other than that, he showed no signs of knowing. "…never heard of the gent. Take your search elsewhere."

He trotted to the door, unlocked it, and gave a look that told them to get the heck out. Everyone but Link and Ms. Mowz left, the latter suddenly getting a whiff of treasure.

"Mmm hmm! I smell something in this room!" Ms. Mowz exclaimed. Link smirked.

"I'll just head in to get it…"

He snuck into the back room as Ms. Mowz kept the salty old sailor distracted. He returned with a simple Shine Sprite, upset because they already had more than they needed. The sailor spotted him and instantly barked at him.

"Away with you! NOW!"

"Holy holy I'm GOING!"

Link burst out the door, tripping over Kirby and flying into Mario.

"Sheesh Link, what took you so long?" questioned Sonic.

"Just nabbing a prize…" he muttered as Mario shoved him away. "But we have a problem now. If that guy isn't Bobbery, and we've been just about everywhere there is to be, then where the heck do we check?"

"We could ask Frankly…" Goombella suggested. "He has been living here for awhile and should know something…"

"Why is someone always suggesting something and it turns out to be right?"

"Don't question the magic, Koops…"

They turned the corner and stormed into Frankly's House so fast and unexpectedly, that the old mushroom jumped 5 feet.

"Hey old man, know where the Bobbery guy lives?" Kirby belted out the second Frankly regained his composure. He glanced at Kirby and raised an eyebrow.

"Bobbery…that old sea dog live in the eastside house right next door! They say he was a great and important sailor long ago…"

"I wonder what happened to make him stop?" Vivian pondered aloud.

"…and why he would lie to us in the first place!" Spike added.

**Bobbery's Place-**

Spike crashed through the door and everyone struck threatening battle stances.

"Drop the act, Super 'Stache!" he exclaimed.

"We know who you are, Bobbery, so give us the down-low!" Link shouted. Bobbery blinked.

"Harrumph! What poppycock…"

"Poppycock?" "These people sure know some strange words…"

"Tell me, What would you want with me if I were this chap?"

"That mustache, because the ladies apparently dig facial hair!" Sonic stated.

"hey! I was going to ask that!" complained Link.

"I don't need it because I already_ have_ a girlfriend…" Kirby boasted. Vivian put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes.

"We need a navigator, and you're the only one who can pull off the job!"

"…So sorry but you'll have to look elsewhere. I shall set sail upon the sea…nevermore!"

"but…That's just not cool!" whined Spike. "You wanna see me beg or something? Is that it?"

"You have to come along!" Goombella cried.

"You're the only one who can get us safely to Keelhaul Key!" Link finished.

"Emphasis on safely…" added Sonic.

Mario: Oh yeah!

Bobbery shook his head at Mario. "Awfully sorry, dear boy, but when I say no, what I mean is…**NO!"**

**Outside-**

"What's the next move chief?" Spike asked Mario. "This salty dude is going nowhere fast."

Everyone put on thoughtful faces.

"I can't figure this guy out! What's his beef with the ocean anyway?"

"Maybe we should find someone who knew what happened to him!" Vivian suggested.

"How do you think we're going to pull that off?"

Vivian shrugged. "Just an idea…"

"Any better ones?"

"Naw…" "Negative." "Nope!" "Yeah! Wait, not really…"

"but even if we go hunt someone down, how will we even know where to look?" wondered Link.

"Man! Always a catch…" complained Kirby. "Well, we could go to the bar. After all, a few sailors and Flavio were in there. Maybe there's a sea tale they can share or whatnot."

"…" "Where's the idea juice?" "How is he so smart?!" "Incredible."

Kirby struck a pose. "I'm just that good!"

Everyone: Epic groan.

**Bar-**

A purple mowzer suddenly flew into the air, crashed into a wall, and scurried out the door with a pink puff growing at him.

"yeah! That's right, coward! Run you big meanie!" he shouted.

"All he said was "scram" Kirby…" Vivian pointed out.

"Yeah, well I'm trying to get a Crystal Star on a haunted island and I don't need any of his sass talk!"

The man behind the counter drying a glass laughed an amused chuckle. Link found him suspicious and strutted over.

"Hey guy. You must know all about these sea dogs, eh? Well, there's this one bomb named Bobbery and he won't go to sea and-"

"Well, I can't say that surprises me."

"…hah?"

Everyone gathered behind Link, interested in hearing the story.

"The real question is, are you REALLY sure you want Bobbery back on the water?" Podley continued.

"Of course!" "We need to mount an expedition to Keelhaul Key!" "…which we need to take a boat for…_gulp_…"

Podley let out a small sigh. "Rough seas out there. Most sailors would meet their end."

Sonic turned for the door, but Mario and Link grabbed him before he escaped.

"Not old Bobbery though…the fact of the matter is, Bobbery's tale is sad. Horribly sad, actually. You'll probably end up crying, but I'll tell it to you, if you really want me to. "

Sonic calmed down a bit as Link scoffed. "Pbth! There's no story too sad for the Link!"

"You were sobbing into tissues at Koops' story!"

"…"

"I'm already crying!" wept Kirby. "POOR BOMB!"

"He hasn't even started yet!"

Mario: Please do! I can take it.

"Bobbery's tale of woe goes something like this…"

_Bobbery was once married. He had a wife of enduring beauty named Scarlette. The two of them were madly in love, the sort of love reserved for fairy tales. Now, Bobbery was a renowned sailor, so he was away from home for long periods. Scarlette never complained though, and always waited faithfully for Bobbery's return. And Bobbery…his eye never drifted. He loved only Scarlette, truly and deeply. So they lived and found happiness when they could, All was good, for a time…but not all good things can last._

"Oh no! Foreshadow!"

"Quiet! It's getting to the good part!"

"Well excuuuuuuse me!"

_It was a particularly cold winter when it happened…Scarlette fell ill. A virus? A passing cold? No one knew, but it soon turned serious. Bobbery, at sea on a long voyage, knew nothing of his bride's suffering. By the time he returned, Scarlette had succumbed. She was gone. Bobbery, of course, blamed himself. "My loving wife perished because of me…if I were not at sea, I could have nursed her to health. I could have saved her." …he was overcome with such thoughts. They tormented him always, haunting his sleep. He has never gone out to sea since._

Podley turned back to the group to see some sobbing, some dropping a few tears, two looking pretty solemn, and two bawling their eyes out.

"Gee…what a downer. I guess that's a pretty good reason for hating the ocean…" trailed Spike quietly.

"That poor bomb!" Link and Kirby wailed, hugging each other for support. Mario just shook his head.

"Man…now I feel so bad for the guy! I wouldn't want to leave either!" Sonic admitted.

"That poor man!" "That's way worse than my problems!" "WAH-AHH!" "Get a grip, darlin'…sniff…"

"At least I still have Koopie Koo…" stated Koops.

"Too bad this isn't your tale!"

"Calm down Kirby…"

Podley gave a small nod. "You all know his tale now…So, tell me: do you still want him to return to sea?"

Mario: Yes…we have no choice.

Podley nodded and handed over a very old letter, surprising everyone.

"On her deathbed, Scarlette wrote Bobbery a final letter. You hold it in your hands."

"That's slightly disturbing…"

"I don't know what's written inside…but I can tell you what she told me as she lay dying: "If I should succumb to this plague, and if my love should blame himself for my death…then give this letter to him, so he may hear my voice." It was her last request."

"And you didn't respect it!" Kirby exclaimed, ready to perform a karate-chop on him. "JERK!"

"When I saw Bobbery in misery, trying to forget the pain as he mourned his wife, I just couldn't bring myself to present this letter to him. I've regretted it ever since. Please…take this letter and do the deed I was too cowardly to do: take it to Bobbery."

"We will, coward!"

"Kirby, honestly…"

"That was me, actually…"

"Sorry Link- you and Kirby are starting to sound the same."

"Pah! Trying to blame the trash-talk on me! Sigh…my life is so difficult…"

"Did you NOT just hear the sob story three seconds ago?!"

"Listen, Podley…" Spike suddenly said, breaking the conversation. "We'll deliver this thing. Try to feel better, okay? Let's roll, Big Blue."

"Yeah…this is getting to be too much for me! A simple search-and-find becomes a tale of a heartbroken sailor. What're the odds?"

**Bobbery's Place-**

Bobbery nearly growled at the sight of Team Mario once again.

"What?!? Oh, by Blabberton's beard! Not you again! No matter how many times you entreat me, my stance is firm! Now away with you!"

"Fine! Don't take this then!" Link snapped, stylishly tossing the letter to Bobbery.

"A letter? F-For me?" he stammered. Bobbery looked it over and jumped three feet--which is pretty high for a bomb. "What?!? Scarlette!!! This is Scarlette's handwriting!!!"

Bobbery literally tore open the envelope in a mighty rip and skimmed the letter, muttering, "Scarlette, my love…"

_My love: If you are reading this, then I am no longer by your side. Because fate has stepped between us, I have decided to write you this letter. If you're reading this, I must have passed while were out to sea. I can only assume you will blame yourself for it, my sweet Bobbery. Although my life was short, you've given me more than a lifetime's worth of joy. Though you will mourn, I beg that you remember, that time, like love, is a tide. You are one with the sea, as you were once one with me. Don't lose both your life's loves._

"Time, like love, is a tide. You are one with the sea, as you were once one with me." Bobbery nearly whispered. He turned to the group. "A…A thousand pardons…but may I have a moment alone, if you please?"

"Go for it."

Bobbery wasted no time in trotting into the back room, leaving Mario to glance around the room. Oddly enough, Sonic seemed the most upset.

"You know, that really makes me think…" he mused.

"Why?" wondered Link.

"Because…this could just as well be us, you know? We'll be out adventuring, exploring, and having fun, and the moment we return someone could have…well, kicked the bucket."

"You're not one to be negative like that, Sonic…" Kirby trailed.

"I know, but ever since that little conversation with Tails, and Link's experience, and that one letter Zelda sent you, Link…I'm getting slightly concerned, is all."

Everyone, in the gut, knew that somewhere along the line Sonic was definitely right. But no one said anymore about it as Bobbery's voice rang beyond the door.

"Yes, love…my sweet, sweet Scarlette…I love you still."

He returned, a smile peculiarly evident under his 'stache.

"Now then! You were looking for a navigator I believe? Bound for Keelhaul Key?

Mario: Oh yeah!

"Harumph! If you think an old sea bomb like me is what you need, then let's shove off!"

"Admiral Bobbery! Yesssss!" everyone cheered. They paraded out the door, the sailor bob-omb right behind them.

"The ship's in the harbor, hm? I must inspect her before we leave. I shall meet you there."

Bobbery ran off, excited about his first adventure in years.

**Several hours later-**

Mario and co. had explored a bit in the west area, collecting a Shine Sprite or two to give Bobbery a chance to fully inspect the vessel. Then, they headed back to the harbor. The team proudly jumped on board, and Flavio was absolutely ecstatic.

"I knew you would get Bobbery on board, you mustached man you!"

Mario: Aw, it was nothing-

"Except a crushing life story and several rejections…"

"To you, I must say AHOY! I was wise to chose you as my captain! Ahoy to me, as well! What do you say? Should we set sail?"

"You know, I think I left my car running-"

"Sonic, you don't own a car…let alone old enough to drive one!"

Everyone quickly jumped on Sonic before he got any ideas of jumping off the ship at the last moment, ignoring the pricks of pain from his quills. The hydrophobic hedgehog let out a wail.

"Very well! To the sea! Raise the anchor and set sail for thrills and emotion! And romance! And money! Our destination is dread Keelhaul Key!" Flavio announced.

"WAIT UP!" Bomberto's little friend yelped before climbing aboard also. Sonic started to panic.

"Noooo! Let me off this thing!"

"Too late!"

The boat instantly pulled away from the harbor, getting farther and farther away from the dock. Flavio walked over and patted Sonic's back once everyone claimed it was safe to get off.

"Don't worry, me boy! You and Pa-Patch can be look-outs!"

"Like I said, staring at miles of water. Whoo."

-----

Once the boat was out of sight, an X-naut crawled out of a hiding place and glanced around before talking into a communicator.

"This is X-naut one here, come back, dude? I repeat, X-naut One here, over. Roger, reading you five-by. Infiltration is successful. X-naut Black is aboard vessel…Repeat: X-Naut Black is on board the vessel…"

-----

The figure ran out into the harbor at the last second, just before the ship disappeared off the horizon.

"No! No, no, no, no, NO! Ms. Mowz is with them now!" she complained. "Great. Now I have to get to _them_ to get to _her_…I had a feeling this would happen…"

Her blue eyes gleamed with determination, with a hint of insecurity also. But they were hidden from the worlds by a helmet with a green visor. The helmet was connected to an orange Power Suit, which gave the woman within incredible access to a built-in arm cannon.

Samus Aran was going after them…whether she wanted to or not.

* * *

**BUM BUM BAM! Well, what do you know? XD The figure wasn't all too obvious until the last chapter (ah, what people had thought...) Now Chapter 5 can officially begin and then I can get excited for Chapter 6!**


	52. Men Overboard! Ship Down! Stranded!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 51: Men Overboard! Ship Down! Stranded!

**Month * Day XO**

_Over the protests of my crew-er, just one, to be in fact, the S.S. Flavion has set sail. Is this voyage as reckless as they say? Ah! I must scoff! Flavio will show them guts!_

**Month * Day XX**

_Another day of good wind. White clouds, they dazzle me. It is as if they are blessing our voyage! Flavio thanks them, most heartily!_

**Month * Day X(weird music note thing)**

_Things are going smoothly…yet I am filled with dread…At this speed, we should reach our destination by tomorrow's sunrise._

_Ahem, after reading the long, boring words out of a wanna-be pirate's diary…let me shorten things up by saying the gang has been at sea for three days now, and is quickly approaching a fourth. The days have been fine, and Sonic has even calmed down quite a bit…but not completely, for sure. Kirby and Vivian have gotten closer, and the entire crew is just bursting with excitement! But unfortunately for the ship, it seemed as if they would never see the final sunrise before the cursed isle…_

In the final night of the journey, the Shop and Inn Toads sat on the highest deck, orange Overalls and Sailor (blue Bob-omb) were next, Mario, Link, Kirby, the partners, Green Worry, "Four Eyes", Pa-Patch, and Bobbery were on the main deck, Sonic was (not very) alert as the look-out, and Flavio was at the helm…singing very off key.

"Skull captain casts his gaze! Red jewel shines and plays! Boom-bassa-boom festival! The 'Stache Brothers, best of friends! 3 times Red 'Stache lands on his end! Blue 'Stache's belly 4 times is whacked, so let's hear those fireworks go BOOM! At the boom-bassa-boom festivaaaaaaal!"

"OH YEAH!" wailed Kirby, getting into the song.

Mario: Strums guitar dramatically again and does splits.

"Yes! Now we are talking! Flavio told you, did he not? Nothing to fear, no!"

"Except all the water…"

"We're almost there, Sonic! After all, you're the guy with no worries, remember?"

Flavio pointed forward, to where the shadow of an island could be seen in the distance. "The island is right before our eyes! Do you not see it? It is a mountain of treasure! Oh ho ho ho! I feel fabulous! Shall I tell you one of my many tales of raw bravery?"

Everyone groaned.

"Please, no…" begged Koops.

"No, it is no trouble at all! There I was, locked in deadly combat with a sea serpent…yes, but even then I smiled! For I knew I'd prevail!"

"Great. He's started again…" complained Pa-Patch.

"I had the beast licked…for I am Flavio!"

"A 'tale of bravery' right? I heard this one yesterday…"muttered Sailor.

"So did we…" everyone else chanted.

"Not me-I fell asleep," admitted Link.

"He was giant, massive…a huge drink of man-eater! But even now, you know…I could take him! Yes!"

"There's no where to escape to…We just have to listen until he's finished…" Bobbery groaned.

"Yeah, if you interrupt him in midstory, he absolutely loses it too…" grumbled Kirby. "I tried the second morning."

"….Errrrrr…Where was I?"

"In the middle of an ocean?"

"Oh yes, yes. But even then I smiled!"

"Oh God- he hit the endless loop point!" "Why'd you have to say something?!" "He's boring me to death!"

"…uh, why is the…What? Wait, what's going on here? The ship's stopping!" Goombella gasped.

"Not cool…" "Screwed!" "Surrounded by water! The pure HORROR!"

"Oy! Master Flavio! Awful sorry to interrupt that wicked story…but the ship's stopped…" Pa-Patch began.

"It's wicked all right…"

Flavio opened his eyes to glare at the purple bomb.

"Ah? Stopped, you say to me, after interrupting a story of passion and fury?" he exasperated. "Well, it is your job to keep the ship moving yes? So take care of it!"

"Oh, aye aye, Flavio! I'll get on it, right quick! Wait a tick!"

"I thought Bobbery was the navigator…"

"Yeah- he navigates, not necessarily drives ships!"

"Duh! That's how you navigate- by moving the boat!"

"Quiet you two! My job has no effect on the likes of you scamps!"

Pa-Patch climbed up into Sonic's territory, the latter lying down trying to sleep.

"Ow! What the…"

"I'm trying to see what stopped the boat…" Pa-Patch explained while darting from side to side. Sonic stood up and folded his arms.

"Well I'm look out, and I haven't seen anything!"

Pa-Patch ignored him and kept looking. Sonic was about to make another retort, until an Ember came out of nowhere and poked the bomb in the back.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm workin' on it! Just wait a Goomba-stomping minute, ya scallywags…"

He turned around to see Sonic's eyes widened, his mouth dropped speechless, and sky suddenly lose its bright stars and moon. He looked puzzled, but turned back around for the Ember to poke him again.

"OY! Quit shoving', eh?!? I'm workin' over 'ere!" he shouted to Sonic. "I said quit SHOVIN'!

"I-I didn't do that…!"

"Well if you didn't then-"

He turned faced to face with the fire ghost, his expression now perfectly matching Sonic's.

"UH…ARGGH!!"

"HOLY RINGS!"

As Pa-Patch climbed back down the mast, Sonic just took a daring leap off the side and landed on Flurrie.

"Sorry 'bout that…thanks for cushioning my fall though!"

"Hmph! What's the matter with you two?!"

"…Th-Th-They're here!!!!" Pa-Patch wailed, his voice high-pitched.

"What is this ruckus now? Who's here? Will someone tell me what's going on?" complained Flavio.

The boat was suddenly enveloped in fog, and Embers followed with it.

"…OOOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo…" they moaned.

"N-N-No…they're upon us! The p-p-pirate…GHOSTS!" screamed several people in unison.

"ENGAGE HORRIFIC SCREAMING!!!!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Everyone started running around in frightened circles, except Sonic who felt he was safer in the crow's nest and Mario who just danced around frantically.

"All them rumors were true!" "We've gotta get out of here!" "We're gonna die!" "MOMMY!" "AAAIIIGGUUH!"

Flavio's face was frozen in fear. "D-D-Do not panic yourselves…this is all just a dream…that we are all having…awake!"

"DON'T PANIC!? YOUR VOICE IS SHAKING!!!"

"N-N-Now…q-q-quickly…m-m-move the b-boat…"

"WE CAN'T MOVE IDIOT!"

"…OOOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo…"

Even more Embers surrounded the ship, making moving even more impossible. One appeared in front of Flavio…and it was the end of them all.

"Oh…ghostly oohing thing! Are you…really…the savage pirate king?" he face went blue when the flame on a sadistic grin. "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! HEEEELP MEEEEE!!"

"WE'RE GONNA FLIPPIN' DIE MAN!"

"TELL BOW I LOVE HER!"

"LINK, I'M SORRY I ATE THE ULTRA SHROOM YOU FOUND IN THE TREE!"

"Wait…YOU DID WHAT GOOMBELLA!?!?!?!!?!?"

"I WAS HUNGRY!"

"I'LL KILL YOU BEFORE WE ALL DIE!"

"Buck up, everyone!" Bobbery called. "Remain civilized! Relax! Don't panic! Relax, relax I say! You simply must take it easy!"

"Then why are YOU still running around like an idiot like the rest of us!?!"

Bobbery didn't answer because he was pulled away by the ghosts. Orange Overalls decided to speak up.

"Listen everyone, if we could form an orderly line without shoving…forget that! MAKE A PATH!"

While he was speaking Green Worry and "Four Eyes" was taken too.

"Bobbery! Look alive man! We must get out of here!" shouted Flavio.

"Bobbery's gone, man!"

"ABANDON SHIP! Every rich, marvelous man for himself!"

He jumped into Mario's arms as the ship started to sink. The winds blew wild, and the mast started to creak.

"That's not a good sound…" gulped Sonic. Right after he said that, the entire thing snapped and he started to fall into the ocean. "NOT AGAIN!"

"SONIC!" Link exclaimed, running over and catching his best friend. "I'm not losing you this time!"

A large fraction of the Embers floated over to tug Sonic into their grasps, but Link certainly wasn't giving up without a fight.

"LET GO! LET GO! LET GO!" he roared to the Embers. Sonic glanced down at the water and instantly shivered. Link looked over his should to see Mario still dancing around with Flavio, and Kirby trying his best to keep at the partners and then some safe. More Embers were added to the other side, tugging and pulling on Sonic with everything they had. Not even Link's strength could outmatch their numbers. He felt his hands get sweaty on Sonic's gloves.

"I can't hang on much longer buddy…" Link strained to say, afraid any words would break his concentration. Sonic blinked and hid a gulp.

"…let go then. Save yourself!"

"WHAT!? Like I'm _really_ going to do that, Sonic!"

"C'mon! I've managed to be hung and beaten above a bubbling volcano and still outrun the explosion with two heavy people in my arms! I think I can get out of this one!"

"You're the one freaking out over the water!" Link howled.

"If you don't let go you'll be dragged down with me!"

Link's face softened ever-so slightly. "I'd almost rather have that…"

Sonic blinked, recalling the very same words he said about one of Link's situations.

"…well if I go down, you're **not** coming with me!"

"NO!"

The Embers gave another sharp tug, and Link felt even more of Sonic be pulled away from him. Both knew this wasn't going to end well…

"Link…" Sonic started. "…take care of Spike for me…"

He ended up wrenching out of Link's grasp and allowed himself to be swallowed up by the sea of flames and, well, sea. Link flew backward and crashed into Kirby, Koops, Goombella, and Spike, and the ship sunk dramatically into the water…

No one knew if they would see the sun rise once more…

**Month * Day X***

_Fortune from disaster: the kindly sea washed us ashore. What strange irony that this island was our intended destination all along, no? And yet, we mourn. We have lost four crew members, including Admiral Bobbery and my look-out. It pains me to think they were taken by the pirate king, that ghostly thing… What happens to us now, ah? We may be lost without hope, stricken in the wilds…_

**Month * Day X 3**

_We have made a semblance of civilized life here. The ship's flotsam washed in, and we now have salty bread and other salty things…we can live for some time on this salty bounty of the sea…but then what, I ask?_

**Month * Day OO**

_We have built a few huts from the washed-up timbers…Ah, poor, sweet, S. S. Flavion! At least the shanties keep out the wind and rain. We still have no sign of Bobbery, Sonic, and the others, and my heart, she doubts…still, despite my fears, we must continue to hope that they are still alive somewhere._

**Month * Day OX**

_Three days on the isle now, and the huts are all finished. We have carved a life out here, though we all dream of a return to Rogueport…_

_It's been three days since we've lost Sonic…and Team Mario longs to have him back. Kirby has even taken the position of being optimistic, but dismay still clouds his face…and the next move is unknown. Clothes tattered, all of us tainted with the scent of salt, and not a Shroom to eat…oh, the horror…maybe the lush green isle will put us out of our misery-_

"Don't speak so negative Link…" scoffed Goombella, sitting next to him and listening to him rant. "…it'll be okay!"

Link just grunted in response. The gang was peering over the edge of the island, Mario scouting anything worth scouting while the partners sat and waited, Kirby attempted to make them laugh, and Link never let Spike out of his sight. At the moment, the young Yoshi kid was resting in his lap. It was Sonic's latest, and hopefully not last, request, and he certainly wasn't going to disrespect it. Mario knew how bad Link must've felt, but didn't want to provoke him into a rampage and simply stuck with his job.

"Oy! Captain 'Stache!" Pa-Patch's voice called out. Mario blinked and turned around to see said bomb strolling up. "It ain't much, but we finished a wee hut for you to rest in! Come 'ave a look!"

Mario: Oh!

He instantly trotted back to the main beach, the dreary partners following after.

"Oh mercy me! My make-up must look horrible!" gasped Flurrie.

"I'm almost sorry I came now…" muttered Ms. Mowz.

"Too late now, Floozy!" Goombella exclaimed in a fury.

"We're gonna die here!" wailed Koops.

"Come Vivian! We can take a nap!" Kirby cried, pulling his partner forward.

"Why are you so peppy?"

"Well, Link's going to be in a very bad mood, and Mario can't even talk, so it's up to me to keep up the pep!"

Vivian shrugged. "Glad to see someone's smiling…"

As they followed Mario, Spike tugged on Link.

"C'mon Link! We can finally get a decent rest! I bet they even have a store!"

"Who cares?"

"Wow. That's…you're really upset…"

Link just gave a nod and a sigh. Spike groaned and folded his arms.

"Listen Link! As his Soul Partner, I can tell you that Sonic would want you to carry on! He's still out there, I feel it! He knew what he was doing, after all, he's the one who let go in the first place!"

"Can we please not talk about it?"

"Fine, fine, but I'm going to sound like you when I say I need a Super Shroom…"

Spike trotted off, and Link wanted to just sit at the ocean, but somehow he found himself starving also.

**Civilization-**

The moment Mario and the group arrive at the site, everyone was already lunging at each other's throats. Orange Overalls came running up to them.

"Captain! Please, help us! Flavio and Pa-Patch are in a huge fight!" he squealed.

"Aw yeah! Some action!" Kirby cheered, pumping his fists. He glanced at a drooping Link. "C'mon Link! Celebrate!"

"Woo."

Kirby smacked his head. "Well I'M excited…"

Everyone gathered around the bickering idiots.

"…and what about you, Squinty? You turned to jelly when you saw all those ghosts!" Flavio retorted to some previously said statement.

"What're you talkin' about?!? You were the one quakin' in 'is boots, fancy pants!"

"Fancy Pants!?" Link couldn't help but blurt out. Kirby gave an annoyed gasp.

"After all my sweat-and-tear attempts, you chuckle at Fancy Pants! Ugh, I'm feeling like you with my efforts going to waste!"

Flavio was smacked flabbergasted. "Wait…wait a moment. Did you just call the great Flavio "Fancy Pants"?!"

"That's right, Fancy Pants! Fancy Pants! Fancy Pants! Fancy Pants! Fancy Pants!"

Flavio made a face and rapidly shook his arms. "Why, you little CYCLOPS! Flavio demands satisfaction! You! Me! Hammers! At dawn!"

"Squinty was a much better insult…" Ms. Mowz pointed out.

"Or Ol' Patchy!" chuckled Spike.

"Oy, that's right fine by me!" the bob-omb continued. "I can't wait to put a few dents in those fancy threads!"

They ran off to fight, only to scream and dart behind Team Mario. "THEY'RE HEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!"

"What's here?"

"C-C-Captain 'Stache…them ghosts are back!" quivered Pa-Patch. A trio of Embers floated into the site, looking ready to burn it down.

"M-Mario! This is an o-o-order! Take care of those ghosts!" demanded Flavio.

"Man! You wusses are BOTH scared!" Spike taunted. An Ember landed by his back, causing him to cry out and jump behind Link. Link was ready, shield and sword brandished.

"Stay away from the Yoshi!"

He jetted forward, jabbing the first one and KO-ing it with a perfect action command. He then hurled Koops at the remaining two, leaving both with only 4 HP.

"For the record, these things a very vulnerable to Ice Effects!" Goombella called out.

"Too bad I don't have one!" Link yelled back, ducking under a puff of flame and blocking a burn.

"I am SO snagging their ability!"

Kirby opened his mouth, swallowed an Ember, then spat him out. He now had a blue flame flying out of his head to show he was Ember Kirby.

"Oh yeah! I'm hot now! I'm on fire!"

Link clapped his hands. "I am impressed…"

Vivian sighed in fear. "Oh, what can I do? Fighting fire with fire won't exactly work in this situation…I'd hate to say it, but it's more of a job for Beldam!"

Kirby patted her shoulder. "S'okay! Just pull us into the shadows then!"

Vivian nodded, and her move prevented either one of them from being hurt by the Embers' powerful moves. Now with Mario's turn, he pulled out his Ice Smash, slammed it into the first one, and did two stylish backflips while doing extra damage-killing it.

"Go Mario!" cheered Goombella. She pulled out an Ice Storm to finish the ghost off without hurting herself.

"Yes! Yer a bloomin' beast, Captain 'Stache!" rejoiced Pa-Patch.

"Too early to celebrate, no? There are surely more of them elsewhere, ah?" Flavio added. "…someone must investigate the rest of the island. Yes. That is what it must be. As leader of this expedition, I, of course, should stay here. On this, I brook no argument."

Mario, Link, Kirby, Goombella, Koops, Flurrie, Spike, Vivian, and Ms. Mowz all raised their hands and stated. "We do though."

"Ah yes! Of course! Mario! Perhaps you could handle the expedition of this island?"

Mario's eyes widened as groans emitted from his team.

"How come you have to pick on ol' Captain 'Stache over here, eh?" complained Link, standing defensively at his side.

Mario: They're not going to take no for an answer…

"That's my boy! I knew you would go forth with boldness! We count upon you!"

"But I don't wanna chase after creepy fire ghosts!" whined Kirby.

"You'll be fine! You already snagged their ability anyway!" Vivian pointed out. Kirby nodded.

"Yeah, but I don't see why we have to do all the work and exploring the useless, cursed island that stole a fraction of our crew and-"

"-We might find Sonic! Onward!" Link shouted, instantly sprinting into the east. Everyone gulped and ran after him.

"Link, you don't know what lurks out there!"

"AUGH! GREEN FUZZY!"

Link pulled out his sword and held up his shield in defense to the terrifying creature before him. Kirby caught up with him and stood in front.

"Step aside and let a pro handle this!"

He took a deep breath, then blasted a beam of flames out his mouth, scorching the Fuzzy for 5 damage and defeating him. Kirby did a little dance around Link.

"That's what I'm talking about! Whoo hoo!"

As Link sulked, Mario trotted by them and picked up a Head Rattle hammer badge, but it didn't appeal to him so he threw it in his storage. After the mini Fuzzy fight, the group continued to make their way into what was unknown to others before…

* * *

**What are the odds? Another Chapter 5, another Sonic-gets-in-deep-trouble event. but luckily this time isn't life or death! :D Though I do think his return is a little on the lame side...but that's not for another while now! **

**And just about _everyone_ who has reviewed has asked the following quote: "What would Samus want to do with Ms. Mowz" or something alongs those lines. Well, you're not finding that out for awhile either! *grins evilly, gets shot by Samus***

**Samus: My return shall be epic...but my intentions...maybe not so much. **

**Yeah, well you've got a few chapters to go until you show up again.**


	53. Dying to Get Out of Here

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 52: Dying to Get Out of Here

_The lush tumbling greenery of Keelhaul Key seemed to swallow the brave group in its invigorating clutches. A bush here, a branch there, and a small, pure blue lake in between. The gang was divided in feelings. Some were excited to be the first on the deserted isle, some were frightened terribly of its curse, and some were still upset about the loss of a dear friend…and who knows if they'll be able to stay together after the torn feeling eats them away from the inside out-_

"That's enough there Link…"

"I'm just dying to get out of here! The curse, Sonic gone, and the fact that we're stranded are not very comforting, you know!"

"And that bite you're about get from a Putrid Piranha won't be pleasant either!"

"Say what-YOW!"

The exotic flower's poison-dripped teeth sank into Link, causing him to gag and turn green.

"Urgh…poison…"

As Koops tried to help him calm down, Goombella explained that the trio of plants had 8 HP each and the obvious ability to poison. Mario started off with Super Hammer, taking 5 away from the one in front and 1 away from the two in back. Two Piranhas tried to bite Mario, but he blocked the blow, and the third blew Putrid breath in his face, poisoning him too.

"Glad to see I'm not alone…" Link wheezed. The poisoned began to weaken him. "Ow! What the?!"

Mario felt the pain rocket through him too, cringing until it was over. Kirby pondered this and pulled out some Tasty Tonic.

"Huh. I'm suddenly really thirsty-"

"Where did you get that?!" Link shouted.

"Huh? I've had this! Er, well…I quickly picked it up when we were in Rogueport! Why?"

Link sprang into the air. "That's the anti-dote for poison!"

Kirby gasped. "Really?! Then you'd better take it Mario!"

Kirby handed Mario the elixir while Link fell helplessly to the ground. He glared darkly at Kirby, the sound of Mario gulping down in the background.

"Why would you give it to Mario and not, you know, yours truly?"

Kirby shrugged. "'cause its Mario."

Link was gagged again by the poison, reminding him to take his turn. He grunted, lashing out his anger in the form of a sword into the first Piranha, defeating it. After it wilted, Koops charged up his Power Shell and rocket through the remaining plants, sending the second in line down to one. When it charged toward Link, Link brought up his shield, then brought down his sword, taking away whatever HP was left.

"All right!"

The final Piranha sank its teeth into his leg.

"That's…not…all right…"

Link grabbed his leg, and due to being off balance, fainted onto the stage. Kirby just shook his head and tisked.

"You just can't get good fighters these days-"

"I _heard_ that!"

Kirby ignored Link and made his move with a strong Final Cutter, winning the battle once and for all. He put up a fist a cheered.

"Hooray!"

"Good job Kirby!" Vivian clapped. Kirby just struck a pose. Koops poked Link.

"Are you okay dude?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…the poison _wore_ off!"

"Good thing! I don't have anymore Tasty Tonic-"

"Kirby…"

"What?! I'm just stating facts!"

"Oh, _"Because he's Mario"_ is a fact?!"

"His name _is_ Mario, isn't it?!"

"Sniff…I was in pain and dying and you just** had** to give it to Mario!"

"He was in the same situation as you were-"

"HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!" shouted Ms. Mowz. Koops whistled. "Are you two honestly bickering over such unimportant events when there's things we need to do? Like, finding a Crystal Star, scouting the island, and getting that blue hunk of a hedgehog back on our team?"

"Wow. Never thought that floozy had it in her…" Goombella muttered. Ms. Mowz shot her a smug look. Link and Kirby exchanged faces before hugging.

"I'm so sorry man!"

"Me too!"

"Aw, the island's curse is making us crazy!"

"Uh, no, we've always been like that…"

"Oh yeah…but I am sorry."

"Yeah, this'll end up like us separating again!"

"Let's hope not!"

The two shook hands, and everyone cheered. Mario twitched his mustache and pointed upwards. They needed to scale the side of a small cliff. Link accidentally found a invisible block by randomly jumping, which gave them access to cross the large gap. They all headed up, crossed the gap with the help of Spike, and located a Shine Sprite floating off the side. Link tried to use Koops, but that didn't really work, so he flew over with Spike and freed the Sprite.

"Another one down!" Spike cheered. Link just sighed. Everyone cringed.

"Link, you can't still be upset about Sonic…" Kirby started.

Link's eyes flashed. "Well I am! And there's nothing you can do about it! This isn't like the volcano- we don't know where he is, he could have drowned already…the list goes on!"

Kirby pondered for a couple moments before grinning. "…instead of talking like Sonic's already dead, why don't you think of it all as you getting ready to save Sonic! He is still around, I can feel it, and we just gotta find him!"

"yeah! I can still feel my Soul Partner connection with him!" Spike added.

"We still have a chance!" cried Goombella.

"Nothing's gonna get done if you keep moping!" exclaimed Vivian.

"...YEAH!" finished Koops. Link actually cracked a smile. Mario tipped his hat and twitched his mustache.

"You're right Mario! We'd better get going! Time is wasting! HERE I COME!"

Link was so excited he rushed into the next area and tripped onto a bridge. Everyone rushed to catch up with him.

"Okay, not _that_ much enthusiasm…"

"Ugh, no one's ever happy."

Not far off, a cry of fellow crew members rang out.

"These cursed ghosts…blast it all!"

Team Mario looked over Link standing back up to see 3 out of 4 of their missing crew members. Green Worry, "Four Eyes", and Admiral Bobbery were in the middle of the bridge being swarmed by a few embers.

"We're coming! We're coming!"

Bobbery heard them calling and turned around.

"By blubberly's blotches! Is that Mario over there? You're alive, old boy!"

"We just can't believe _you're_ alive!" Flurrie gasped.

"Right! You guys came just in the nick of time! Get these two out of here this instant!"

Green Worry gulped and turned to the bob-omb. "Huh? But what about you, Admiral? You've gotta get out of here too!"

Bobbery winked. "Just leave it to me, eh? I'll keep these ghouls busy while you get out of here! Let me do what I must do! NOW, AWAY WITH YOU!"

Green Worry and "Four Eyes" both nodded and jumped dramatically out of the ember's path. While everyone cringed as Bobbery took on the fiends alone, "Four Eyes" was rather quite grateful.

"Well, Bobbery here thinks it's the right thing to do! So what are we waiting for?"

He scooped up Mario and sprinted off.

"Don't you care that a valuable member of our crew is being mauled by fire?!" Kirby yelped, being pulled away by the toad.

**Previous Area-**

"Oh Bobbery, please forgive our cowardice!" Green Worry sobbed. "We up and left you and…Everything was happening so quickly…forgive us!"

"Why should he forgive you? You dragged us off when we could've easily taken those Embers on!" Link exclaimed. The toad just shook his head and hopped back to the civilization.

"gone, eh? Excuse me, but I'd better be going also…" trailed "Four Eyes". He started to leave, but then came back and stared into nowhere. "And hey! You! Out there in front of the computer! Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU! It may be pretty obvious to you who I really am, but no telling Mario! Or else!"

Kirby's eyes widened. "Er…what?"

Spike looked around once more. "'You out there in front of the computer?" Is that guy nuts or what?"

"YEAH! THAT SOUNDED SUSPICIOUS, YOU HEAR ME!?" Link roared back. "Honestly, he spoke like we weren't even here.."

"Anyway, what're we going to do now?" asked Goombella.

"Yeah, do we head back to camp or try and help Bobbery?" threw in Vivian.

"I say we help Bobbery!" Link stated while striking a heroic pose. "It's what Sonic would've done…"

Mario: I vote that too.

"Then what are we waiting for!"

Kirby was the first to run back, followed by Link, Mario, Spike, Goombella, Koopa, Vivian, Ms. Mowz, and Flurrie. They rushed over the bridge, very surprised to see Bobbery gone. However, they kept going forward, grabbed a Shine Sprite under a tree, and headed into an area no one had been on yet…

"Urggh…urggh…" a voice moaned. Everyone stopped in their tracks.

"What's that?"

"Sounded like a ghost to me!" Kirby shrieked, running behind Mario.

"So this is how a legend of the sea meets his end, eh?"

"No wait- that sounded like Bobbery!" cried Vivian. They all took off toward the sound, but only found the two Embers furiously circling a palm tree. Link shot Koops, successfully getting a first strike. One of the Embers duplicated, making three in total. One of the three had 4 HP, and the others were full. Link used Hack on the first one, defeating it. The second Ember angrily singed his face while the other burned Koops.

"Ow! That certainly isn't fair!" he complained, grabbing his knee. Kirby jumped into the air with his Final Cutter, then crashed down on the second Ember, doing 6 to that one and the aftershock doing 2 to the other. Since all Vivian's attacks wouldn't be very effective, she pulled Kirby into the shadows for safety. The two Embers ended up attacking empty air.

"I kinda like this strategy!" Kirby admitted when he returned. Vivian shrugged.

"It's kinda the only one we got…"

Mario used Super Hammer, swinging the one in the front into the back one. The front fainted and the remaining one w as left with 2 HP. Ms. Mowz smirked and pulled out an icy item, freezing the ember and beating it instantly.

"That's for wailing on Bobbery, jerks!" Spike shouted, shaking an angry fist. "Speaking of, where'd he go?"

Mario swung his hammer into the swaying palm tree, causing it to cry out.

"Ooh! The pain of it all!"

"Way to go Mario! You injured the tree!" Kirby accused.

Mario: -.- sigh…

Bobbery fell out of the tree and landed hard on his front side. He lay in a slumped pile, too tired to move.

"Ooh, Mario, old boy…urk Haff huff…I guess those blokes got me a bit better than I thought…Mario…Please hear my last request…"

Everyone froze.

"I must thank you for taking me out to sea one last time…but there is one more thing I need before I go to my rest…Chuckola Cola…I was saving that one bottle, my last memory of Scarlette, to celebrate reaching here…I saw it among the flotsam drifting around the island, so it must be somewhere. If I might have just one sip before my final voyage…urgh…get me that Chuckola Cola old boy…"

Kirby started sniffling. "Oh…man…now you're gonna make me cry!"

"Don't do that! He's not gone yet…" sobbed Vivian.

"All of you! Stop blubbering…" Spike demanded, trying to hold back tears.

"Hmm…if that soda was among the flotsam, I bet it washed up already…" Link guessed. Mario nodded in agreement as everyone solemnly headed back to civilization.

**Civilization-**

"Ah! You are still alive!" Flavio cried when they returned. "Well, we have some fortune left! Such relief for Flavio! We thought some jungle beast was snacking on you! Well, everyone is accounted for…"

"Not much any more…" Kirby tried to say without his voice cracking. Flavio blinked.

"…now wait one moment! Am I wrong, or are we still two men short?"

Green Worry trotted up. "Th-Th-That's right! B-B-Bobbery sacrificed himself to save us from the ghosts!"

"Not to mention Sonic's still missing…" muttered Link.

"Please! We've gotta go back and help him!"

Mario coughed and explained what had happened.

"What lunacy bursts forth from your mouth? The admiral lives!?! What fortitude!"

Kirby started bawling into Link's side. Link patted him gently.

"Mario! Front and center! I entrust you with the mission to save our dear admiral!"

Mario held up his hand once more.

"…Chuckola Cola…Why would I have that? But, er, yes, by the way….Flavio is merely curious…What do you need it for?"

"Bobbery's gonna die!" Koops wailed. He received several smacks.

"He thinks he is, but no one's really sure…" Goombella continued sharply. Flavio nodded.

"Ah…So, what we are dealing with is a sort last request, am I correct? Well, Flavio has no choice. I found it on the beach, but for this noble cause…I yield."

"Oh cool! Just hand us the drink and-"

"…HOWEVER! This Chuckola Cola is part of _my_…er, OUR supplies, which we need for survival. So, I will need you to find something to eat to replace this! On this, I do not budge!"

Kirby instantly thrust a mango he had found into Flavio's hands. "TAKE IT! Take it before I change my mind!"

"Okay… Well, here you go! Take the Chuckola Cola…and give my regards to the admiral! Tell him to swizzle it gently, and savor all of the fine fizziness!"

He gave Mario a raspberry colored bottle, filled with the delicious drink.

**Back at Bobbery, after a couple battles-**

Mario handed Bobbery the legendary soda, while everyone just stared from behind him. Bobbery quickly took it and slurped it down.

"This glorious flavor, dear boy…it awakens the mouth! So, the sea was generous enough to grant me this one last grace, eh? I have nothing left in this world now…thank you for granting my last wish…Now I shall be reunited with my dear Scarlette."

He sat down, his eyes starting to droop. "…and to you, Link, that Sonic fella's all right too. I placed him on a piece of driftwood and sent him off into a cave…now, I don't know where he is, but…he's okay…"

Bobbery gave a last glance to Mario as Link's eyes widened. "Fare…well…Captain Mario…"

Bobbery got silent.

"N-Now what…" wondered Koops.

"That poor brave soul…he saved Sonic!" Kirby sobbed. "At least he can join Scarlette…"

Mario: Wait…"

He poked the bomb, receiving a deep snore in response. Everyone jumped.

"He's sleeping!? Of all the…that it NOT cool at all!" Spike yelped.

Mario poked him again, but Bobbery wouldn't wake up.

"I'll wake him up!" Ms. Mowz offered. "I have a special technique…"

She trotted up to Bobbery, then used her Slap at full force, smacking him silly. Bobbery sure woke up after that.

"PIRATES! Where are those pirates!?" he screamed.

"Not quite with it yet, huh?" asked Spike.

"Maybe I smacked him a bit too hard…"

"…what now? Oh…Mario, old boy, it's you! You have adventures in the afterlife as well? Capital!"

Link smacked his head. "He thinks he's dead…"

"Hey, you're still alive, you nutcase!"

"What's up with you calling people nutcases lately?" Kirby questioned.

"He must be really _cheesed_!"

"Let it go, Link!"

Bobbery looked confused. "Really? This isn't a tropical paradise for fallen sailors? Oh, right…Now I recall! Mario, old boy…we still have work to do! You'd better take me with you, I should say! I'm sure my sea legs and explosive personality will be rather useful, eh?"

Bobbery struck as pose as Mario officially let him join the party.

Mario: Want him Link?

Link shrugged. "Sure, why not? But it won't be the same as Bombette though…"

"Aw man! I'm being replaced!" Koops wailed. "I knew this day would come…"

"Well now that you're alive, let's head back to civilization!"

On that note, the gang brought their new partner back to Flavio, where the next part of their island adventure would begin. But, the question still remained…if Bobbery managed to save Sonic, then what happened to him?

* * *

***cues more dramatic guitar* Sonic was originally (and somewhat lamely) supposed to return with the other crew people, but my way is...slightly more interesting. *shot.*. Anywho, um...next chapter is right before they enter the Grotto I believe, then I threw the entire exploration of the Grotto into one chapter, and then it's the boss already. Wow. THEN Chapter 6 is approximately ONLY 3 chapters long, 7 is quite short (but longer than 6), and 8 is 4 to 6 chapters. (If you wanna know, there's 80 chapters total if you count prologue/epilogue -holy crap- and we're getting closer to the end...wah!)**


	54. De Ja Vu Times 2

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 53: De Ja Vu Times 2

"Ah! It is Bobbery! Welcome back to you!" Flavio exclaimed once Team Mario returned. "Do you know how worried we were? My stomach was most upset! I must worry for everyone here, but who worries Flavio? No one!"

"Well we're back, Bobbery's alive, and there's still some adventuring left to do!" Kirby announced.

Flavio wasn't finished. "Do you know how hard that it is for me, to sit here in safety and worry so much? I do not know what is out there, waiting to lurch in and snack on me! We do not even know how to get home, for the sake of the blue, briny sea!"

"That would be nice to know…" "Yeah, otherwise we're doomed!" "I forgot to get a toothbrush!"

"But no more yelling! Now is the time to pull together as a team!

"Who was yelling?" "I was just exclaiming."

Bobbery let out a deep breath. "Flavio, old boy…I must say…you talk too much."

Link let out a very loud cackle and slapped his knee. While Team Mario watched him start laughing, Flavio was flabbergasted.

"Such insolence! Grrrrrr! I growl at you like an angry jungle beast! I oughta…"

"So anyway Mario…" Bobbery continued, completely ignoring Flavio and trying to drain Link out. "About that Crystal Star you spoke of earlier…"

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that again!" cried Goombella.

"Curse the island drama!" wailed Kirby. "Double anyway, you were saying?"

"There was a rather odd rock in the far east of the jungle with a skull carved into it…Call it an old sea bomb's intuition, but that skull rock smells…suspicious."

"Heh heh…hey Bobbery? You wanna know what really smells suspicious? FLAVIO'S ARMPIT! Oy, smells like low tide! War har har har har…"

"That was completely uncalled for…" muttered Ms. Mowz as Flavio flashed murder in his eyes. Koops, however, chuckled and elbowed her.

"Oh, it was hilarious!"

She gave him a look. He instantly coughed and backed off.

"…or not. That works too."

"But, seriously…You may be onto somefin wif that skull rock…I'd say that's where the treasure is…"

Flavio rolled his eyes. "Well, anyone could figure that out, you mutinous joker. I mean, HOW obvious! I was already saying in my head that the treasure is certainly behind that rock! And as such, I'll continue my duty of protecting this camp from invasion…Captain Mario! Carry on! I am sorry to make so many requests, but, you know…"

"Flavio, you old cash-grubber! If you want treasure, why don't you go get it yourself?" Bobbery barked.

"Yeeeeaaaah!"

"Oh, well, Yes, uh, Admiral…You see, I…well yes you have a point. Let us decide this fair and square, shall we? Listen to me, everyone! Who thinks I should go along in investigate the skull rock?"

"Oh heck YES!" "Yeah, take him, please!" "Have fun out there, jerk!" "Off with you!"

"They're certainly on our side now, aren't they?" laughed Flurrie.

"About time that man started pulling his own weight!" agreed Ms. Mowz.

"There you have it, Flavio! Fair and square, eh wot?" Bobbery stated with a smirk. Flavio sweat dropped.

"…um no. Not fair at all. Flavio hates you all."

Of all people, Link came to his rescue.

"Wait a minute people! I know that buffoon really **should** get his fair share of hard labor, but do we really want to lug around another Kolorado with us?"

"He has a point…" Kirby nodded. Spike raised his hand.

"Question! Who the heck is Kolorado?"

"A desert version of this fool. Now we're just going to-"

"TAKE HIM WITH YOU!" shouted the rest of the crew, tossing Flavio into the gang and sending them on their way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Okay, that wasn't fair!" Link complained, arriving at the hard to climb wall. "I can't believe they tossed a guy at us! At least his fancy pants cushioned his fall-"

"I. Heard. That."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Hop on, Gonzales- I have to get us both across!"

"Me too!" Flavio shouted, jumping on Mario's back before they took off. Spike instantly succumbed to the weight and collapsed to the ground.

"Umph! DUDE! I can hardly carry Mario-what makes you think I can handle your big butt too?" he shouted.

Mario: *-*

"WHAAAAT! Flavio is completely outraged! I can't believe the insolence of this crew of mine! I'm risking my life to help you, and this is what I receive in return?"

"There's a few things wrong with your theory. You made Mario captain, you're the insolent one, we had to throw you out in the wilderness-" Link started.

"-and maybe those pants do make you look a bit…poofy…" remarked Kirby.

"Still doesn't change the fact I can't carry this fool…" Spike muttered. Flavio grumbled something nasty as he hopped off, now being forced to float across the gaps with Kirby.

**Skull Rock, Minutes Later-**

A bit deeper on the island, Bobbery instantly recognized the Skull Rock and ran towards it, the rest of the group following. Flavio shoved his way to the front and attempted to make himself look important.

"Ah! Now what is all this? A dead end, taunting Flavio with its dead end-ness…but hmm…is this…I think this is the Skull Rock Bobbery blabbered about…"

"No, I bet its that OTHER Skull Rock at the edge of the island…" snorted Goombella.

"Well, it positively reeks of ancient secret, yes? Let us plunge into this puzzle!"

"…and by us, you probably mean "Us" as in "we, not including you"…" Kirby accused mysteriously. It got quiet after that.

"Wait, what?" "That's confusing…" "Come again?"

"I meant Flavio will probably stand there while we do everything."

"Ooooooooooh!"

Link's adventuring instinct kicked in as he trotted through the small lagoon and investigated the skull rock. He poked it, punched it, pried it, used Koops' shell ability, used Koops in general, used Goombella, almost used Mario, and stabbed and slashed it mercilessly with his sword. He had nothing.

"Well, it's definitely blocking the way to something…" he finally deduced. "…but that "un-patched eye" looks like we could place something there…"

"Where are we supposed to find an object on a haunted island that could conceivably fit?" questioned Koops. Mario shrugged.

"Hey Gonzales! Doesn't Flavio have a gem that might fit into that eyehole?" Spike recalled.

Mario thought it over before nodding and agreeing. As the rest of the group nearly turned the skull formation upside down trying to figure something out, Mario went up to Flavio…who was singing…again.

"Skull captain casts his gaze! Red jewels shines and plays! Boom-bassa-boom festival! The 'Stache Brothers! Best of friends! 3 times Red 'Stache lands on his end! At the boom-bassa-boom festivaaaaaaal!" Flavio stopped when he saw Mario staring strangely at him. "I am just singing to while away the time…it is not like Flavio is scared or anything!"

Mario asked if he could borrow some sort of object.

"You want Flavio to lend something, is this correct? Now, what could I possibly have that you would need with such anxiousness?" He suddenly got defensive. "You want me to give you the Chuckola Cola? Ha! I must scoff at you! You ask too much, little man…except…WAIT! I already gave that to you, you rat!"

Mario: ?

He asked again, this time wanting his special red skull gem that he kept singing about. Flavio's face fell like a stone.

"You want to borrow that? This is the heirloom of the House of Flavio, you know…but I suppose it is all right…because I am Flavio! He of such ludicrous wealth! I'm just LENDING it though! Do not dare run off with it! Do not make me dock pay!"

Mario nodded and received the prized possession. He made his way through his complaining partners and inserted the gem into the skull's eyehole. Suddenly, the two statues in the water lit up, 'stached faces suddenly noticeable.

"My adventuring skills tell me we have to do something with them…" Link finalized.

"Of course we do! Why else would they light up?"

Link made a face as Flavio started up singing again.

"Mi mi mi mi…The 'Stache Brothers, best of friends! 3 times Red 'Stache lands on his end! Blue 'Stache's belly 4 times is whacked, so let's hear those fireworks go BOOM!"

"Blast it, what do we do!" Kirby shouted to the sky. Mario stared at the two statues before climbing up onto the "red 'stached" statue. He stood up, then did 3 Spin Jumps on it. Kirby suddenly caught on after Mario gave him a notion and whacked the "blue 'Stache's belly" 4 times. They slapped a high five when a secret door on the side of the cliff fell open.

"My turn to help!" Link cried, rushing in with Bobbery held high.

"Take it easy, son!" Bobbery called after he lit his fuse.

"Sorry, I'm just so used to Bombette…"

Nevertheless, Link ran up and tossed Bobbery into the newly accessible hole. He trotted a bit deeper before exploding and revealing the entrance to the Pirate's Grotto.

"OH SUCH EXCITEMENT! The cave entrance!" Flavio just about screamed. "Wait…my Skull Gem! L-L-Link? What were you thinking! That gem was part of the House of Flavio!"

Link held up his index finger. "Wait for it…"

The red Skull Gem fell out of the sky and landed next to Flavio. Link smirked.

"Don't under estimate my exploding abilities! They're a real blast!"

Everyone groaned except Flavio, who happily repossessed his gem. "WHEW! Oh, what a happy day! I have my Skull Gem back! My jolliness has no end! Now then…I'm sure you're all disappointed, but Flavio must be heading back now."

Mario, Link, and Kirby all planned the throw a party later. However, there was a cave that needed to be explored first!

"All right! A cave! This finally beats the island boredom!" cheered Kirby.

**Month * Day O&**

_Scoffing at danger, my brave explorers entered the cave. Will they actually find the pirate king's treasure? I tremble with anticipation._


	55. The Grotto of the Pirate

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 54: The Grotto of the Pirate

"It's dark, damp…and really eerie…" Vivian noticed. She wasn't able to continue because of an eerie sound in the air. "…I told you!"

_"OoOooOOoOoOoOo… OoOooOOoOoOoOo…"_

"Well we'll just keep going anyway…" Kirby stated confidently, stepping right of the edge. He caught himself at the last moment, hovered in the air, then landed safely. "…It's kind of a big drop!"

"Really? Let me-WHOA!"

"Hey, watch where you- AUGH!"

Link sheepishly landed on Kirby as everyone else carefully jumped down.

"Get off me please…"

"Sorry…"

Link stepped off his friend as Mario suddenly landed on Link.

"Oh, come on!"

Mario: Whoops.

When everyone made it to the bottom level without any more accidents, they officially entered the grotto. Not even two steps beyond the entrance they encountered two orange versions of the Ember. Goombella explained they were Lava bubbles, relatives of Embers. Mario shrugged and hit the first with his hammer, taking away all but one point of the enemy's HP. Both embers floated toward Mario and nearly singed his mustache! Link finished off the first, then Bobbery did some damage to the second. Link managed to Super guard the Lava Bubble, and also finished the battle off.

"…and Kirby once again misses a battle…"

"Hey Shine Sprite!" Link pointed out, ignoring Kirby entirely and went after it. He jumped onto a ship half-submerged in water, climbed to the highest point, and tapped the box. Everyone else used the ship to cross to the other side. Spikes shot reputedly out of the ground leading to the next area, but with Link's skills managed to get by without much pain…

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"How come I had to be the bait?" whined Koops, grabbing his arm and starting to cross the beginning of the bridge. "One of the arrows scarred my arm now!"

"Don't think of it as a scar! Think of it being a…mark of a true adventurer!" Kirby suggested. Koops smiled, struck a pose, then winced in pain. "Well, can't say I didn't try!"

"Ahem, getting back on track…we've hit a dead end."

The bridge they were current on led straight down into the water, yet there was still more up ahead. Kirby just stared, and then floated over to the other side. Mario naturally jumped across, prompting everyone else to do the same.

"See? This isn't so bad- oh my gosh! Giant Bombette!" Kirby cried. Link was next to him within two strides.

"Where! ? _Where! ?"_

"How can you not miss that really large bomb in front of us!"

Link sprang forward and hugged the Bulky Bomb that was lurking ahead. "Bombette! What are you doing here? You've really grown! What have you done with your hair?"

Mario: =-=

"Uh Link…I'd really hate to burst your bubble, but that's a Bulky Bomb, which is totally different than a normal Bob-omb, which also means that's not Bombette…" murmured Goombella.

Link froze, still hugging the enemy. "So…you're telling me this_ isn't_ Bombette and I'm cuddling a complete enemy stranger?"

"Yeah…oh, and it's about to explode too-"

**"What!"**

The Bulky Bomb started dancing around insanely, the light on its fuse dimming by the second. Eventually, it exploded.

"WAAAAAAAAA-"

Link was sent flying across the room, collided with a wall, and slid into the water. Kirby shrieked and went after him.

"Link? Link!"

Link bobbed to the surface, groggily saying that "it was a blast", then let the waves submerge him once more. Kirby sighed, swallowed Link, and then carried him back to the rest of the group. Mario had taken out a second Bulky Bomb with help from Bobbery and also gave Goombella some more data.

"Live! LIVE!" Kirby wailed, pounding at Link's chest. Link kept jerking up with every hit.

"Kirby, I'm-- fine! You can --stop trying --to punch-- my--- _lungs out!"_

"Well, good! I almost resorted to CPR!"

Link made a face before Vivian asked how bad the blast was.

"…I'm never touching a Bulky Bomb again! I'll stick with small pink ones with yellow fuses!"

Bobbery coughed and raised an eyebrow.

"…and sailor themed ones with large white mustaches…"

"And I'll stick with beautiful green ghosts with crystal bows!" threw in Kirby.

. . . . . . . . . .

Once Link recovered from the blowout, Mario marched into the next room. They defeated an Ember, but then had to ponder about how to get past a locked door.

"I say go up!" Link started, already going on said direction. "I even found another Shine Sprite!"

While Link obtained the Shine Sprite, the rest of the gang caught up. Kirby and Vivian took out a Parabuzzy Beetle, Koops fell into water and Spike had to save him, and Mario used Bobbery to hit a switch to open a steel metal door.

"_OoOoooOoOOooooOOooooooOOo….tuuuuurrrrnnn baaaaacck…Goooo nooo fuuuuurther…or you will never leave…"_

"Oh, there's that creepy voice again!" shrieked Vivian. Kirby just scoffed.

"Don't worry! It's just some big boss who's actually not tough at all and hides behind Chomps who betray him! I know from experience!"

"A bit of a bizarre experience…" murmured Flurrie.

"Maybe it's through the door Mario opened!"

"I hope not!"

Mario sighed and led the way as usual, everyone either stiff from excitement or just plain fear. A Bulky Bomb marched around the beginning of the room, with Link defeating on the spot.

"They'll never trick _me_ again!"

Anyway…Mario took note that another dock with a ship symbol was placed in the water, just like in other various places in Rogueport. He thought about it while climbing over a mountain-like structure, jumping over a mini-brook, and finding some kind of storage room.

"This is certainly interesting…"

"Hey there's a key up there!" Ms. Mowz pointed out, referring to an orange key sitting on an unreachable ledge.

"I wanted to find it!" complained Link.

"Ahem, you've been finding all the Shine Sprites! Give someone else a turn!"

"Well excuuuuuse me!"

"I can get the key!" Kirby interrupted. "…but I feel like I've been doing everything so you guy can just figure it out!"

"Ha, you? What exactly have you done?"

"Plenty of things!"

"Name ten."

"I can't! I've done, like, three- but they were **very** important and **very** tiring!"

"Oh whatever!"

"Besides, if I did get it, it would ruin the spirit of adventure! I bet there's some puzzle here that highly educated people can only figure out!"

Mario kicked Koops away from a red switch, held him in place, got onto a platform, used Koops to hit the switch, raised the platform, and got the key. Everyone glanced at Kirby as he sweat dropped.

"Well, maybe plumbers are smart too!"

Mario: Oh yeah!

Then, Link jumped onto a heavy box that balanced out the platform, waited until it lifted up, then jumped onto the kegs and found yet another Shine Sprite.

"Woo! Three in a row! Link is a shining star right now! Woo!"

Kirby sighed.

**Locked Door Down Below-**

Mario stuck the key he obtained into the lock, opening the door at last. Kirby ran through instantly to gain some respect back, only to return after being ambushed by flying beetles.

"Man, just like in that well…"

Link poked his head through and conducted a plan.

"I say we should just run in and out and hopefully they won't hit us!"

"Good plan!"

"What are you talking about? It's _Link's_ plan!"

"Ha ha. Now…1...2...3!"

Team Mario darted like a pack of buffalo into the room, tripping, scurrying, and dodging to get out as fast as possible. Link rolled out first, followed by Koops, and ended up using his former partner to find yet a fourth Shine Sprite.

"I am so good!"

He turned to Ms. Mowz as she, Spike, and Flurrie made it out.

"Take that! I scored another one!"

Ms. Mowz turned and folded her arms, only to be bumped by Parabuzzy Kirby, Vivian, Mario, and Bobbery.

"I, uh, swallowed a Parabuzzy…" Kirby explained. "Look! I can fly now!"

"How's that different than before?"

"I have a shell too!"

"Only you, Kirby-"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Mario ignored the oncoming argument and saw that on one side of the area had large rolling waved, while the other was shooting out spikes. He could've used Vivian, but Kirby was way too protective, so he just rolled up into a tube and brought everyone else with him. He headed under, stopping when spikes were able to hit him even in tube form and repeated the process until it was safe. Mario unrolled and Link sprang out to get another Shine Sprite by locating a hidden block.

"…and that makes five! I'm now the official Shine Getter!"

Ms. Mowz smirked. "Good for you then! So when it comes to a time when you can't get it, we'll blame you for not being able to!"

"That was just cold!"

"Come on you two!" Kirby called, flying with his Parabuzzy wings across the gap while Mario and everyone else carefully used barrels to get across. Once safely on the other side (after a few falls) Mario blew up a boarded up door and proceeded.

"Hey…is anyone else getting a bad feeling from this room?" Koops asked.

"You get a bad feeling about everything!" Spike pointed out.

"I know, but really…"

The path was long and narrow, which meant Koops was getting something…it was awfully suspicious.

"Bullet! _Bullet!" _Link screamed, ducking to the ground. Kirby ditched the Parabuzzy upgrade and swallowed a Bullet.

"Go, Bullet Kirby! Whee!"

He took off, blasting by any other projectiles while Mario in tube form protected everyone else from getting hit. Kirby made contact with the cannons, initiating a battle. He got a first strike, bringing both canons down by half. Apparently being hit by their own projectile did a lot of damage. He then struck again; the Vivian managed to finish them off with an item. They slapped a high five as another pair of Bullets shot above them.

"There's another set of canons above!"

"We got this!" Link called while riding Spike. "Ride like the wind, Yoshi!"

"You know, you're not that much lighter than Mario…"

"You're still managing!"

Spike sighed and continued to swerve and dodge the bullets until they reached the cannons, which Link hit with a first strike. He then used Hack on the second cannon, and Spike Gulped the first, spat it into the second, and finished the second off. The remaining cannon shot a Bullet. Link took care of that, then Spike Ground Pounded the Bullet Bill Blaster into nothing.

"Way to go, Missin'!" Spike cheered.

"Thanks, but let that name go, remember?"

"…Oh yeah…"

**Next Room-**

Another Bulky Bomb was in the room, causing Link to "go Samus" on it. Mario headed to the edge of the path and glanced down. They all could jump down to get to the next part, but there'd be no way back…

"We should still keep going! We've hit a dead ended anyway with this cavern…" Spike suggested. Mario nodded and jumped down, onto another "boat dock". Very suspicious. They carefully maneuvered over board planks and really hit a dead end with a sunken ship.

"Well that certainly wasn't worth it!" complained Flurrie. "Now we're trapped!"

Link held his hands up for her to be quiet. "Maybe not…listen!"

Everyone got silent, and they heard a combination of rattling and groaning from inside the boat. Mario decided a small hole in the side of the boat wasn't too small, so he crawled in…and found a Black Chest- and Sonic too.

Mario: O-O!

Sonic sat to the left of the Black Chest, in the small puddle at the lowest corner of the boat. It looked more like he was sleeping than unconscious.

"So that'd be where the lad ended up…" Bobbery realized. "His little driftwood must've hit one of those large waves and sailed in here!"

"Which means there's another way out of this cave somewhere!" cried Koops.

"Why are we discussing how Sonic got here when he's probably half-dead on the floor!" exclaimed Link, kneeling down next to his friend.

"He's still breathing Link. He's probably exhausted from fighting the water's will of trying to drown him!" Goombella stated.

"If only we had a Jelly Ultra! …but we left all my Ultra Shrooms with the Shop Keeper…"

Mario: Let me try!

He simply trotted to Sonic, and poked the side of his head. Nothing. He then scooped up a handful of water and splashed it in his face. Sonic's eyes flew open and caused him to fly across the sunken boat and land in a defensive position.

"Gah! I'm dead! I sank! Vision's going blurry! Ah, spare me!"

"You're fine Big Blue!" Spike scoffed. Sonic blinked twice, got out of his fighting stance and glanced down.

"Spike! Link! Mario! Kirby! Everyone else! You're alive!" he gaped.

"We were going to say the same thing about you!" Link chuckled. "What happened?"

"Don't really remember…" Sonic started getting water out of his ears. "I just remember all the flames, me nearly going under, Bobbery saving me…then some wave washed me under but I somehow manage to cling to a piece of wood and I suppose I ended up here."

"Well, you're back now! No point in trying to figure out what happened!" Spike decided.

"Of course!"

_Sonic rejoined the team in a highly convenient area!_

Mario grinned, and then headed to the Black Chest.

"YORK!"

"Oh great- another one! I didn't really notice that Chest until now…" Sonic admitted.

"Oh sweet, sweet salvation! I thought no one would come! I'd given up!"

"You're not tricking us this time!" Goombella snapped.

"Yeah, we know all about this "legendary hero" and "find a black key" and get a "curse" which is actually something awesome!" added Link.

"And maybe this time we won't fall for it!" finished Sonic. The Chest would've frowned.

"…What's that?"

"Get on with it already!"

"Wait…how'd you know I was gonna do all that?"

"We've seen Chests like you before!"

"…wow…I've been in here forever, doing nothing but practicing this speech! And you're saying you know how this'll all turn out! Man, talk about a raw deal! You're a twisted little group, you know that?"

Mario: Yep! :)

"Okay, fine, fine, FINE! I get the picture! Sheesh! All I wanted was to see the face of some unlucky soul when I popped out…is that too much to ask? Anyway, what are you waiting for? Just open the chest already. You know what they key looks like Mr. Seen-It-All-Already! Some ghost here has it…so just beat him, get it, and we'll get this farce over with. Come on, now, I'm waiting!"

"I never really thought about it from that point of view before…" Link admitted as the Ember emerged from the wall. Kirby scooped up some nearby water, threw it at the fire-spirit, and retrieved the key.

"…that was anti-climactic…"

"Yeah, yeah. Whoop-de-doo. You got the key. Party time. Now let me out already."

"Well then!"

Mario took the key and unlocked the soul within the chest.

"Okay, here we go…since you're just itching to get this over with…A-HEM! WHEE HEE! FOOOOLS! You dopes fell for my absolutely brilliant trap! Oh yeah! I am so EVIL!"

Mario was instantly sucked into the alternate dimension where he gets all those cool power-ups, leaving everyone else behind.

"That definitely wasn't how_ I _wanted to re-start my journey…" trailed Sonic.

"Worse, Mario'll come back with some curse that ironically helps up get to the next area!" wailed Link.

"Thanks for letting me do my thing…It makes me feel better." were the last words from the curser before sending Mario on his way with a happy face.

"What'd you get THIS time?"

Mario motioned for them to follow, and led them to the boat dock. He transformed into a little paper boat and returned him and his friends to the other side.

"We're back! And Mario became a boat!" Koops cheered.

"Now we can sail the waters of the unknown!"

"Ah…well I say, that curse chap seems rather a bit of all right, eh?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

_Finally, our long lost blue hedgehog friend has returned. Another curse has been placed upon the team leader, allowing access to one of the final frontiers! Three of them being oceans, space, and Alaska!_

"What are you going on about now, Link?"

"Uh…nothing, nothing…"

**Very Top Room-**

Mario returned to the area that Link discovered, recalling the boat dock he had seen there. He used his brand new awesome boat ability to transform and sail to wherever he needed to sail. He floated over a waterfall, ending up back in the room with the Bulky Bomb that blasted Link into the wall. He sailed to the left, going into the room before that, and then sailing into the first room. They crashed onto another boat dock…which ended up at a boat with a handle!

"I got a handle!" Kirby cheered. "…now what the heck do we do with it?"

"Don't look at me! I don't have a clue!" Sonic stated. Link snatched the handle from Kirby and held it up.

"You might not, but I do!"

"What a surprise!"

"Shush Goombella…anyway, I remember some weird...thing that needed a handle! I saw it as I flew into a wall!"

Sonic did a double take. "Flew into a wall? How did that happen!"

Link covered Goombella and Kirby's mouths. "Uh, you might not wanna know…"

**Room Where Link Got Blasted-**

"See? It was this thing with the chains!" Link said, referring to what was probably the mechanism to open the gate to the room before the double-cannon hall. Debris floating around in the water drifted into the previously blocked room, everyone cheered, and that creepy ghost voiced echoed throughout the cavern once more.

_"OoOoOoOoOoOoOOOooOOOoOOOOOoOoOo…"_

"Whoa, that freaky voice is making noise again…the ghosts must be nearby…" Spike mumbled.

Sonic glanced around nervously. "…I'm afraid to ask…"

**BACK at the Top Room's Dock-**

"Okay Mario! Do it for real this time!"

Mario: Whoo!

Once again going boat, they went down the waterfall, but this time headed to the newly available area. Sailing by the submerged boat platform and the barrels, Mario took the gang to the area with the large waves.

"Oh, I really hope we don't hit one!"

"Quiet Kooper, you'll jinx us!"

"I haven't heard that in awhile…"

Mario did his best to fight against the rolling waves, getting hit occasionally, but battling hard enough to get by anyway. After making it past the torrents of terror, he located a previously unreachable cave.

"Whoa…never would've guessed that was there!"

"Hey! Something's coming! There! Floating on the water!" a voice called.

Everyone: ?

"Where am I?" "Lemme see!" "Hunh? What?" "WHAAAAT?" "WHOA WHOA!" "Uh guys, I can't breathe…"

"Is that a…Is that a **_boat?_ **HEY! OVER HERE! SAVE US, PLEASE!"

"How is a mini paper-like boat going to save that large group of people?"

"Desperate situations cause desperate ideas!"

"Oh, Link…"

Mario reached the nearest boat dock, which was the only place they could land. The far side of the room wasn't reachable- yet.

"Hmm…looks like we're doing a puzzle!" Kirby pondered, seeing the pipes and switched scattered around. "This might be difficult…"

"Yeah right!" snickered Sonic, jumping into the pipe. Mario, Link, and Kirby followed. The group of four dashed across a boat tilting uncontrollably, and then ran to the first pipe they could actually reach. It was on the other side of the room, sitting on the only cliff with stairs to get up there. When they came out of the pipe, they found an airplane pad.

"Oh great, another chance for Mario to show off!"

Mario: ;D

He went airplane, flew to another pipe that took them to a switch, jumped down, and repeated the process until both his group and the shipwrecked people could get across to safety.

"Yeah! We did it!" Link cheered as he, Sonic, and Kirby slapping a simultaneous high-five.

"What are you talking about? Mario did all the flying and hitting! You just followed to try and look cool!"

"I already am cool! Link, on the other hand-"

"SONIC!"

"Whoa, just kidding dude!"

"Hey! We can cross over now!" cried one of the Toads.

"Hey hey! What're we waiting for? Let's go!"

As the Toads evacuated the ship, it revealed Frankie and Franny hiding in the back. Everyone's eyes widened, but they said nothing- that's because Mario turned into an airplane, flew to the ship, and then hopped across the barrels he made appear.

"I don't know how you did it, but you saved us!" a toad exclaimed.

"We came here looking for pirate treasure, and then, well…our ship got surrounded by ghosts out on the ocean…and then we wound up here!"

"Better than waking up in a submerged ship that's been there for who knows how long!" Sonic said.

"Hey! Aren't you Mario?" Francesca called. She pushed through the crowd of toads and gasped. "It's me! Don Pianta's Daughter! Francesca! And Frankie's here too!"

Frankie waved and walked out too.

"After my dad forgave us, we set out on a trip…the ship we were on got a little too close to this island…and now look at us! Still, I can't believe the rumors about Cortez are true!…which means…he's nearby!"

"Oh joy."

"Hey, the Crystal Star's probably there!"

"Oh yeah!"

'So, by the way…Why are YOU guys here? Don't tell me Daddy had you come here to take us back!"

"No, we're just headed for the pirate's treasure to get a Crystal Star!" explained Kirby.

"He's right! It'll be our fifth one!" added Vivian.

"Well, I think the treasure is right in there, watched by Cortez's spirit…"

"That doesn't sound very pleasant!"

"I'm sure you'll be able to take care of him though! You look tough! Besides, Cortez is the one who trapped us, so smack him one for me!"

Mario: Will do!

"That creep thinks he can get away with trying to drown me! He's sadly mistaken!" Sonic huffed as they entered Cortez's lair. It got very cold, eerie, and just seemed ghostly. Kirby squeaked and grabbed Link.

"This place is creepier than Creepy Steeple! I don't like it- it gives me chills!" he gulped. "I bet his dead body is in that obvious navy blue ship!"

"Buh-WHOA!"

"YAH!"

Kirby then jumped into Vivian's arms.

"Whoa, did I surprise you? Yeah, sorry about that…" trailed "Four Eyes", appearing out of nowhere.

"What the heck are you doing here! ?"

"See, I actually followed you in here but I got lost along the way, and, uh…well, anyway, I followed this path and I finally caught up with you and then…listen, just forget it, okay? I'm sure that the Crystal Star is inside that Pirate Ship! And the Pirate King Cortez is in there too. Yeah, probably… no big deal, though, right? You can take him, big guy! We're counting on you!"

He then got quiet. "Boy, I know I am…and so is Grodus…"

* * *

**What caused this delay was a misnaming of the document. Sorry about that. For the true reenactment of of how I found out, and my actual reaction, see my profile in a little while. Thank you. **


	56. Cortez: A Boss Battle And Then Some More

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 55: Cortez: A Boss Battle and Them Some More!

Mario was the first to step on the boat and open its ancient door. Sonic followed courageously behind, Link trotting after, and Kirby being dragged by Vivian.

_"…OoOoOoOoOoOoO…you ignored my warnings…OoOoOoOoOoOoOo…come inside the doooooor…and be lost in darkness…"_

"Creeeeeepy!"

"Don't go through the door! It's like a horror movie!"

Mario: Opens door anyway

They reluctantly entered, finding a large red velvet chair behind a desk, surrounded by mounds of gold and treasure. As everyone was gawking at it all, the door slammed shut behind them.

_"…OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO…Come intoooo my-_ HACKPTH! HORK! AHEM! _Oooooooooooooo…"_

A tornado whirled in the red velvet chair, eventually materializing into a huge skull with a pirate hat.

"Enough! I grow tired of this spooky "oooooo" business! I am a pirate, blast it! Pirates do not MOAN! I am a cold-blooded villain who robs innocents of life and loot, not a crying ghost! And…you…are…after…MY TREASURE!"

"N-Not really, a-actually…" stammered several members of the group.

"And this! This is my ship! What are you doing here? Speak! I'll turn your mustache into a bone-polisher, amigo! Yohohohohohohohohohohohohoho!"

Mario: No! Anything but that!

"Your quills will be toothpicks, your tunic a cloak, and that fluffy exterior might become a pillow!"

"This guy's nuts!"

"Let's take him down quickly!"

"I don't wanna be a pillow!"

Cortez's first form was his skull actually attached to a spine jetting out of a sharp pile of bones, which I suppose was his body! He had four arms, each holding a deadly weapon. His beginning HP was 20.

"Pah! 20? That's less than me!" Sonic scoffed, taking a battle stance. "This'll be a piece of cake!"

"I wouldn't say that…" sang Goombella, shutting her Tattle book.

Mario used a spare Shooting Star he had stashed away-like Kirby- and took 6 away from Cortez. Flurrie then Body Slammed his head, making his eyes spin. Angry, he jabbed all four weapons at Mario, draining four from him.

"I can do that too!" Link called, sliding forward and jabbing at Cortez's bone pile. With a blast from Bobbery, Cortez dropped his weapons, and his spine collapsed.

"Well that's peculiar…"

The curtains fell, and then opened back up; revealing Cortez certainly was not dead.

"The dead can never die!" Cortez cackled madly, ribs dancing with a weird crystal in his chest.

"What's that supposed to be, some crystal heart?" questioned Spike.

"I don't know, but that's really…really…bizarre." stated Kirby.

"So? He's still at 20 HP!" Sonic exclaimed, jumping up to do Action Chain. It hit 3 times, draining 6. Spike then fluttered up to do Ground Pound, doing 4. Cortez grunted and slammed his head into Sonic for 4 damage.

"…That was really lame!"

"I'll say- who attacks with a head?" Kirby questioned. Still, he pulled out his Final Cutter, jumped up, and then crashed back down with 6 and a devastating after math of 4. Cortez looked like he wanted to pass out, but was fighting the urge, so Vivian quickly hit him with a Shade Fist and-literally- burned him into the ground. One by one, his spine shattered to the ground piece by piece, finishing with his skull.

"Is he dead now?"

His four weapons suddenly pulled out of the floor and started floating.

"…that'd be a no…"

Cortez's third form was just his head- but his head also controlled the weapons, equaling the equivalent of five enemies. Mario smirked and used Art Attack for what was probably the first time. He called forth the power of the Ruby Star and magically circled it around the head and the weapons by simply pointing at where he wanted the star to go. The weapons dropped instantly, while Cortez's next set of HP dropped to 13.

"You need to…uh…what's a witty phase for blowing something away?" Flurrie asked.

"Um, this'll be a blow-out?" "Catch wind of this?" "You're such a breeze to fight?"

"You've been blown over dude!" Goombella threw in. Everyone stared. "That was actually Frankly's…"

"What they said!"

Flurrie inhaled, and then exhausted all the wind power from her lungs. Cortez was strong enough to endure the wind, but his limp weapons flew across the floor like dust, out of the fight.

"AAAaaaaaaaaaaargh! I can't take much more of this! This calls for something special…now you will see the true might of my spirit form!"

Cortez opened his mouth and sucked in half the audience. Team Mario all groaned with disgust.

"That is such a Hooktail move!" gagged Koops.

"…and this is such a Link-move! Hi-yah!"

Link jumped up and started mercilessly hacking at the pirate skull, bring him down to 13. Bobbery trotted up and bombed his face for 4 more damage. Cortez floated to Link, spun around, and then bit his head.

"Uh, OW! What kind of a move was that!"

"A Cortez-Move fools! Yohohohohoho!"

"Well then taste a Sonic move-"

"Enough with the moves!"

"Yeah, they aren't very_ moving_ any more…"

Sonic started running around Cortez's head, getting him lost in the now forming tornado. When Cortez was good and dizzy, Sonic jumped up and started kicking and punching and spin dashing him until he couldn't go anymore. Spike added to the pain with a dreaded Gulp. Cortez still had a slight amount of HP, but he just ended up biting Sonic too.

"Die! Die! Die!" Kirby shouted, bashing Cortez rapidly with his hammer and not showing any signs of letting up. "Why won't you stay down? Dah! DAH!"

"KIRBY! He's finished! Finally…"

"Oh really? Go me!"

Cortez hung defeated, releasing enough Star Points to almost level up the gang again.

"NOOOOOOO! MY TREASURE…" Cortez wailed before shrinking. "I am done for…" Then, he grew again. "Yohohohohohohohoho! You are foolish, amigo! For I am not dead! Well, technically, I was already dead…but my spirit endures, tied to my treasure. So you cannot do anything to me! I do not live, amigo! Still, guarding this treasure for hundreds of years is almost as boring as death!"

"Ha! Bored to death!"

"Not now, Link!"

"We don't even want the treasure! Sheesh, you're as greedy as Flavio!" gawked Kirby.

"Yeah, can we have that blue star stone in the back over there?" Sonic asked. Cortez blinked.

"…What? You want this, amigo?" he floated over to the Crystal Star lying unimportantly on the top of the largest pile of gold.

Mario: Oh yeah!

"This little rock over here? Are you serious? Well, that's no big deal…Here, take it. What do I need one of two extra gems for? I did not really like that one anyway…"

"Cool! If you get past the creepy ghost pirate skull exterior, he's really nice guy!" Kirby decided. Cortez handed the Sapphire Crystal Star to Mario.

"We got a Crystal Star! Mario's Star Power is now 6, and he can use the special ability Sweet Feast!" Link announced. Everyone stared. "…I just had the sudden urge to do that…"

"Well, that should do it! If you don't need anything else, then away with you amigo!" Cortez bellowed, opening his back window and kicking them out.

**Month * Day O***

_And then, I heard something my ears could not believe…We had actually discovered the legendary treasure of the pirate king Cortez!_

"Oomph! I take everything back now!"

"Should we go back and see if those shipwrecked people are safe?" Sonic asked.

"Sure, why not? We're still trapped on this island either way…" sighed Ms. Mowz.

"Yeah…" everyone agreed.

**Cavern with Toads and Piantas-**

"Whoa! That was like an earthquake in there! Are you all right?" a toad asked. Mario nodded and explained. "WAHOOOOO! You defeated Cortez? WOW! You're really something!"

"Now that you've got some free time, why don't you get us out of here?" Franny asked.

"We can't even get out here on our own! What makes you think-"

"Ummm…All that thrashing caused the wall here to crack a bit…I feel a breeze…If we could break down this wall, we could escape! I guess that's not much help…"

Bobbery chuckled. "Just leave that to me lad!"

Link tossed Bobbery onto the ledge, where he blew his fuse and blasted an escape hole into the cave.

"Hey, it worked! Just like I said! Well, me first!" the one toad ran through, followed anxiously by everyone else.

"You saved our lives, man. I'll never forget you! But…I need to leave NOW!"

"SWEET FRESH AIR!" Team Mario shouted, piling out the door. When they emerged on the other side, it revealed the front part of the island was actually the exit. How ironic.

"That's doesn't matter though! We're free!"

"And still stuck on an island!"

As Mario's team made their way through the Toad crowd, Flavio, Pa-Patch, and Green Worry arrived.

"Ah, Mario! Welcome back to you, my stalwart captain! So…have you found the treasure? How's our little expedition faring, hm?"

Mario explained everything with occasional input from Link, Sonic, and Kirby. Pa-Patch gasped.

"The spirit o' Cortez was guarding the treasure? An' you beat 'im, but left all the treasure there!"

"Yeah, but we got what we wanted! Ha ha ha!"

"Kirby!"

"Sorry! I couldn't resist!"

"AAARRRGGGH! What were you thinking'? We're you tryin' to be NICE! ?"

"No, just trying to stay alive. Nothing big really."

"Awww well…that's what I like about you, I guess…"

Green Worry's eyes suddenly widened as he ran up to the toad who found the way out.

"Could it be? B-Brother?"

"You…what are you doing here?"

"I…I…I…I came looking for you, Brother…All the way to this island, I came looking…But ghosts attacked us…and our boat sank…but I've found you now! But your boat sank too…so we're all stranded here!"

Everyone: ………

Everyone Thinking: _What the heck do we do now?_

A sudden Ka-boom broke their trails of thought.

"Uh…what was that…"

A large splash arose in the water, and another loud boom was heard.

"ACK! WHAT IS THAT! ?" Pa-Patch shouted.

"I know! Those cannon balls are so fast, you can't even see them!" Kirby gasped.

"No, you pink puff, I meant THAT…"

A large dragon-like ship sat in the water, with an X-naut symbol on the sails and cannon at the front shooting at the island.

"Pardon me, guys…Buh huh! I mean…Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! **BUH HUH HUH HUH HUH!"**

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Link cried. "Four Eyes" jumped onto the ship's cannon, looking quite smug.

"So sorry to surprise you…no, wait…no need for that fake politeness anymore! Good job getting the Crystal Star! Oh yeah! Seriously! Good job getting it for ME!"

"'Oy now…ain't that good ol' Four Eyes?" Pa-Patched asked.

"Yeah, that IS Four Eyes! What's he doing over there? HEEEEY! FOUR EYES! IT'S DANGEROUS UP THERE!"

"What's with this lukewarm reception, huh? Dramatic entrance, here! Oh, whatever! I'll spell it out for you idiots! You may have known me as Four Eyes…But I'm actually…" he spun around dramatically, turning into… "Buh! Buh! **Buh HUH HUH HUH!** The great Lord Crump! Oh MAN did I fool you!"

"Again, you've gotta be kidding me!"

"I was the mastermind in the shadows, running this voyage! It HURTS to be this good! Now, Mario and Link! Enough of this! I'm on a schedule here! Hand over the Crystal Star!…Because you know what'll happen if you don't…"

"_We're_ not good enough to be acknowledged?" Sonic asked annoyed. "That's harsh!"

"He hasn't heard of us before, though…" pointed out Kirby. "...but I still find it insuting!"

"Well either way I'm certainly not giving up another Crystal Star to YOU!" yelled Link. Crump smirked and launched another cannonball, just missing all of them.

"STARBOARD CANNONS! PORT CANNONS! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! **BUH HUH HUH HUH!"**

"AYIIIEE! Yikes! Four Eyes was a pirate all this time! Madness!" wailed Flavio. "Well, what are we all standing around here for? **Cannons**, people! We must flee!"

Pa-Patch sighed. "Look, we're sailors…we're not much good for anything wifout a ship to sail!"

Flavio's eyes lit up. "Wait! I have it! I am a genius! We have a ship at hand! And a fine one, I must say! Mario! Take me…to Cortez! Yes, my brain remembered what you said! You said that Cortez had a ship! If the legend is true, then we'd be unstoppable in that cursed ship!"

"Flavio, what are you talking about? That's crazy! This Cortez we're talking about here! Even if Mario did beat 'im…Why would he lend you his ship, huh? He'll cream you! Kuh-ree-eem you!" whimpered Green Worry.

"Hey! I may be a coward and a cod, but I still lead you! I have a duty to protect you! We will be cannon fodder if we sit still and wag our tongues! We must at least try Cortez! Now, Mario, take me to this pirate scum this instant!"

"Sniff…that's the nicest thing I've ever heard Flavio say!"

**Cortez's Ship-**

Back at his horde of treasure, Cortez reappeared in his red velvet chair in the form of a tornado…just like last time.

_"…OooOoOoOoOoOoooO…_oh what? Is it you again? Did you forget something?" he barked. Flavio shook uncontrollably behind Link.

"C-C-C-C-Cortez! I-I-I have to speak to you!" squeaked Flavio. "C-C-Could you lend me your s-s-s-ship?"

"Wow that's kinda sad…" "At least he tried!"

"WHAAAAT! What would possess me to let me lend you my ship?…and who are you, anyway?"

"M-M-M-M-My name is Flavio! We are in big trouble, and could really use your ship! We must protect our crew from bad pirates who are blasting us to bits! So we just need to borrow your ship for the teeniest little while…"

"What are you talking about, muchacho? I do not rent this ship for pleasure cruises! And even if I would lend it to you, this ship is magical…and it cannot move now. The key to powering this ship is the mystic Skull Gem…"

Flavio sweat dropped and pulled out his prized possession. "The…Skull Gem? You …you mean this?"

"_YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU!_ You have the Skull Gem!"

"….uh, yes. Yes, I do, so, uh…All right, what do you say to this proposition then? Take the gem handed down through generations of my family, and lend us your ship! I think that is a pretty fair deal, do you not think, Cortez, old friend?"

"...old friend? Your ancestors stole that gem from me, you strutting peacock! You must be very brave, or very, VERY foolish to ask such a thing of me! I should turn you into a piñata and throw a party on the beach!"

"W-W-Wait just a moment! Do not make me have Mario trounce you again! While he fights you, I will throw this stone into the sea where you will never find it! How would that be?"

"RRRRRGGGH! You rattle my bones, Senior Peacock…very well. I accept your bargain, amigo! Now, be very careful with that gem!"

"Ah! Check and mate, Flavio! I did not make my fortune by failing in negotiation, no! You can talk your way through any deal, I say! Now, you take this…"

Cortez magically levitated his long lost treasure back to him.

"Ahh! Now my precious Black Skull with sail the seas again! I was getting quite annoyed by the sounds of cannons outside anyway. Now I can really stretch my bones and wreck havoc on the seas like in the old days!"

"So, Mario! Feel free to thank me anytime for saving us all! But for now…we sail!"

"To the…front of the ship whose fancy name I have forgotten!" announced Link.

"Black Skull, Link…"

**Moments Later-**

"Hey! We're coming too!" announced a toad. Glancing all around both crews of both sunken ships had piled onto Cortez's ship without warning. No one complained though, because they probably would've done the same thing.

"Oy! I ain't lettin' Fancy-Pants hog all the glory! Come on, Captain 'Stache!" boomed Pa-Patch. Cortez then appeared right next to them.

"It's been a millennium since I gazed out upon the sea! Come! To the open waters!"

Embers, now on their side, filled the sails before they took off outside…

**Outside-**

"Buh! Buh! **Buh huh huh huh!** I've got ammo to spare! How's THAT for boom-bassa-boom?"

"You fire cannons here…without **my** permission? You have nerve, mortal!"

Cortez drove his ship right through the cave wall, causing Lord Crump to cry out, "WHAT THE…"

The two ships started circling each other, X-nauts now plastered to the sails of Lord Crump's ship just like the Embers. The two boats eventually collided, and Crump's ship ended up getting stuck!

"Grr… I'm gonna sink this ratty old ghost ship to the bottom of the ocean!" he shouted. Cortez also shouted.

"Hear my voice, spirits! Take their ship and show them the meaning of fear!"

Instantly, X-nauts and Embers started throwing themselves at each other, bouncing from ship to ship. Flavio's crew down below was ducking their heads and praying not to get hit. Flavio turned to glance at Mario.

"Mario, my captain, it is now your turn again! Get over there and duel that cod!" Flavio ordered.

"No need to ask me twice!" Link exclaimed as the team sprung over the Lord Crump's ship.

"Buh! Buh! **Buh huh huh huh!** I'm gonna turn you guys into wee seeds…wait, that's not right. I'm gonna turn you into SEAWEED! Buh huh! Enjoy!"

A wall of X-nauts stood in pyramid form, blocking harm from Lord Crump- at least, until they were knocked down. Mario, however, disregarded them completed and just went for Lord Crump with a Spin Jump. Ms. Mowz, who Mario thought needed a time to shine, trotted over to Lord Crump and smacked him silly. The X-nauts attacked Mario for a little damage, but Mario managed to Super guard Lord Crump. Link bowled through the X-Nauts, knocking them down, to get to Lord Crump to do Jab. Bobbery added to Crump's pain with Bomb. The X-Nauts were destroyed, and Link could only manage to throw up his shield to defend against Crump. Crump suddenly whistled, and the X-Naut troop ran off.

"Buh huh huuuuuuuhhh!.? You're not gonna get off that easily, losers! Let's see how you like THIS…" he cackled. He whistled again. "X-NAUTS!"

A whole ceiling full of X-Nauts lowered down, ready to kick some butt. Sonic gulped, but then just used Whirlwind to knock them all down. The X-Nauts spun in Sonic's self-created tornado, occasionally smacking into Lord Crump for some damage. Spike then fluttered above Crump's head and tried to pound it into the ground. He spun around several time before executing the move, getting a Stylish! However, the X-Nauts on the ceiling started to shake causing…forks to rain down?

"I knew forks would cause the end of the world!" Kirby screamed, running around and trying to protect Vivian. Sonic hovered over Spike, Mario guarded Ms. Mowz, and Link figured Bobbery could handle himself and hid under his shield. Just as everyone came out of defensive mode, Lord Crump unexpectedly bounced into Sonic, but also received damage for hitting his quills. He fell defeated- for the moment, at least, and ran out of sight to recharge his HP. The X-Nauts also disappeared from the ceiling.

"Okay, that's just not fair at ALL!"

Lord Crump returned with his X-Naut army surrounded around him. "**Buh huh huh huh!** Man, that's no good…I thought I was almost aced for a second there!"

"HEY! He totally took my catchphrases!" shouted Sonic.

"But you haven't finished me off yet, you sea urchins! I'm down, but no WAY I'm out!"

"Oh _really?" _questioned a voice from nowhere. Mario, Link, Sonic, and Kirby froze.

"No way…" trailed Link. "That voice…"

"It couldn't be!" exclaimed Sonic.

"But it is…" trailed Kirby.

Samus sprang up out of nowhere (okay, really from below deck), doing a flip in the air and blasting madly away at the X-Nauts and occasionally Lord Crump. She landed in front of a wide-eyed Mario- and the rest of the team- and gave Crump an angry look. Crump just slacked his jaw.

"What the heck? Who're you? ! How'd you get on my ship!"

Samus kneeled down slightly and targeted Lord Crump between the eyes. "I'm Samus Aran, you red-bearded weirdo. I saw your little X-Naut friend hiding around Rogueport Docks. I followed him to this ship, knowing you'd head for Keelhaul Key, where Ms. Mowz was headed!"

Ms. Mowz raised an eyebrow. "What would you want with me?"

"I was hired by Don Pianta to track you down- if I did, he'd give me a ticket for the Poshley Heights train! I followed you from Hooktail Castle…the Great Tree…Glitz Pit Area…and even around your own hideout! But every time I found you…Mario, Link, Sonic and/or Kirby were there!"

"Why would that change anything?" asked Sonic.

"Yeah, if you were there at Hooktail Castle, you could've joined us already!" Link stated. Samus gritted her teeth.

"That's _exactly_ why I couldn't show my face! You'd chase after me and blow my cover! Besides, I didn't want to be with you guys at the moment anyway!" She glanced at Ms. Mowz. "When we're through taking care of Lord Rump here, I'll take you into custody and be happily on my way…"

"The name is Lord Crump, freak-lady! And if you think you can just barge into a boss battle at any time you feel like-"

_"RAGH!"_

She shot an ever feared missile, hitting Crump and knocking him back a few inches. It wasn't as strong as a normal blast, but it was certainly a warning. Crump growled and snapped his fingers. The X-Nauts assembled into a ball, and rolled all over Samus. When he returned back to position, Mario and Link helped her up.

"So you're fighting with us?" Link asked.

Samus twisted out of Link's grip and folded her arms. "For the time being, I suppose…"

_Samus:  
_  
_HP: 25_  
_FP: 20_  
_Moves:_  
_Screw Attack (4 atk)_  
_Charge Shot (5 atk, 3 FP- requires a Charge)_  
_Missile (7 atk, 5 FP)_

_Special Ability: Her Power Suit increases her defense and resistance to obstacles on the field/ if her cannon is used outside of battle, it can K.O. any enemy_

"Hey! It was my turn, you know!" Kirby complained.

"Feel free to take over!" Samus replied while making a go-ahead gesture.

"Aren't you going to need a partner though?"

Sonic explained that he finally found his Soul Partner, Kirby defended Vivian, Link actually wanted to be with Bobbery for awhile, and Goombella quickly shoved Ms. Mowz out of the way to take over Mario's partner. That left Koops, Flurrie, and Ms. Mowz. Samus gave a dark glare at Ms. Mowz.

"We'll see what you've got, Badge-Stealing thief!"

Ms. Mowz smirked. "You'd be surprised, darling…"

"Don't call me that."

Kirby started the battle up again with his hammer, slamming across Crump's face. Vivian gave a smug look while raising her hands for Fiery Jinx- also effectively burning Crump. Crump used the X-Nauts' sphere attack on the duo, then tried to jump on Kirby. Kirby, with his expert Superguarding skills, blocked the attack.

"This fight won't last much longer…" Samus murmured. She shot her missile at Crump, which also took out a whole line of X-Nauts, and brought Crump down to 6! Her multiple missile attacks really took a toll! Ms. Mowz actually got to finish Lord Crump off with a devastating smack! She looked up to Samus and couldn't help but smirk.

"Not bad…but I wore him down for you!"

"Level up!" cheered Kirby. All five choose FP, just to keep things even.

"Man! This is getting OLD! How could I lose…again? I HATE LOSING!" Lord Crump hissed. "Now I gotta think of another excuse for Grodus! Grr…and with that, pow! I'm gone!"

Mario, Link, Sonic, Kirby, Samus, and the partners jumped back onto Cortez's ship before Lord Crump sailed away in defeat.

"We've done it, old boy!" hurrahed Bobbery. "I should say he won't be too keen on seeing us again, eh?"

The toads all cheered too, Mario modestly holding up a hand while Link tried to absorb the attention.

"It was nothing, really!" he exclaimed. He then turned to Samus, who had a blank expression on her face, visible through her helmet. He mirrored the expression while walking over. "Hm…I don't know whether to be angry with you for nearly breaking apart our friendship-" Link started.

"Which he probably should be!" threw in Kirby.

"-or really happy that you came back…"

Sonic threw his arms around Samus from the back and obnoxiously said, "Welcome back Sam!"

"You're doing this just to annoy me, aren't you?" Samus growled, hiding the fact she was nearly scared out of her suit.

"Yep! I missed you too!"

"I wanna hug! I wanna forgive Samus too!" Kirby cried, also hugging Samus.

"Make room for me too!"

Samus groaned, "Oh NO!"

"Not even that insult is gonna hold me back!"

Link also hugged Samus, with Mario on the sidelines lightly laughing.

"Are you going to come with us, Samus?" Kirby asked. "We might end up at Poshley Heights during our travels…"

"Yeah, Ms. Mowz is one of us too! So if you try to take her, we've got her back!" added Link.

"You know she still likes _me_…"

"Way to rub it in, Sonic…"

Samus hung her head and sighed. "You know what? Fine. I'll forget about my hopes, dreams, and wishes just to help you guys because I'm _such_ a nice person!"

"Whooooooooo!" "Yeah! All right!" "Hooray!"

Mario: Oh yeah!

Now with Samus officially back on the team -with a lot of explaining to do- the Crystal Star, and a way back to Rogueport, things were finally looking a lot brighter for the team!

And Mario didn't think Link could grin any bigger.

* * *

**And thus, Saums has returned. She was originally going to arrive on the Tuna Whale, but then I couldn't get it to flow in...anyhoo, tune in tomorrow and Sunday for the Peach chapter (light applause) and the BOWSER CHAPTER! (insane laughter, whistles, and hoots and hollers). What? Bowser's chapters tend to be more exciting than Peach's...not that I don't like Peach. Just sayin'. **


	57. Potion of Invisible Proportions

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 56: Potion of Invisible Proportions

"You blew it again Lord Crump. You sicken me."

"Look, I'm sorry. Seriously. We thought…we thought we had the cornered, but…"

"Stop talking Lord Crump. You stand by until my next order. And Lord Crump? Think of this as your last chance. Understand?"

"Roger that!"

"Then leave."

Lord Crump disappeared off Grodus' projector screen, leaving the mad ruler to scowl darkly.

"Hey! You there!"

An X-Naut arrived, gave the secret signal, and awaited Grodus' order.

"What is it, Sir?"

"Tell the Shadow Sirens to attack Mario and Link again. And tell them not to fail this time!"

"You got it Sir!"

Grodus then started speaking to himself. "I have one Crystal Star in my hands…and they have five. I must take some measures."

* * *

"I'M. SO. BORED."

"TELL. ME. ABOUT. IT!"

"Girls, would you _please_?"

"What got into you, Peach?"

Peach just sat on the bed, gazing at the door for a symbol of freedom. Amy and Zelda were naturally voicing their complaints, and all three of them weren't advancing their escape at all.

"I feel like we've been in here for weeks!" Zelda continued.

"It's been at least 2, 2 and a half…" trailed Peach.

"That's just not fair!" Amy yelled. "That's how long we were supposed to be on vacation! The last place I'd like to spend it is in some fort!"

"You have us though!" threw in Zelda.

"Hoo-rah."

"You wanna go, Pinkie?"

"Pinkie! We're all pink, Blondie!"

"TAKE THAT BACK!"

"GIRLS!"

"Sorry…Peachie…"

Peach just groaned fell into her pillow. At least Bowser made sure she was comfortable and well fed and such. Here, they tossed the group into a locker room and isolated them for who knows how long!

"I really hope Mario and Link don't take too much longer…" Zelda prayed. "I truly don't want to know what these freaks want to do with us!"

The doors whooshed open once she finished, and as Zelda and Amy raced down the hall, Peach _delicately _trotted after.

**TEC's Room-**

"Oh thank you TEC! Thank you!" "I'll try not to mock you anymore!"

TEC would've simply blinked. "Where is Princess Peach?"

Peach silently walked into the room, stood next to her friends, then turned away.

"TEC called us in here again…I wonder what it is this time…"

TEC: …

"Uh, she had a bad start this morning…" Zelda explained.

"It didn't help Princess Smarts here made her shower cold!"

"That was an accident, and you know it!"

"Oh really-"

"Shh. She doesn't know it was me!"

Peach glanced over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow, Zelda giving her a grin in return. TEC just beeped sadly. This finally gained Peach's attention.

"TEC? Was that you? What's wrong?"

"…I must request that you do something a bit more dangerous this time-"

"Cool!" shrieked Amy. "I'm all up for it! I'll perform a dangerous task, and Sonic will be impressed and love me!"

"I'll just do it to get out of boredom. Anything to stay out of that room!" added Zelda.

"Ahem, dangerous?"

"I would like you to sneak into Sir Grodus' room and look for a data disk."

"A data disk? Why would you need that?"

"Although I can read all data on the network…I am unable to access computers that are not linked to the network. Sir Grodus has information that even I am unable to view. But I must know it. I must know that information."

"But how will we get in there? Will we be disguised again?"

"That'll be easy! All we need to do is teleport into the room and get it!" Zelda stated. TEC would've shaken his head.

"No, Grodus' room is under surveillance 24/7, and not just by me. If anyone but Grodus goes in there, they'll be caught and…not nice things would happen. No one other than Sir Grodus can enter his room. When he's out of his room, there are guards outside the room that permit no entry."

"So we can't teleport or walk through the front door? What the heck are we supposed to do?"

"…there is a way. You will be fine if you act according to my instructions. I must tell you, I do not want you to do such a dangerous thing. But now I have no one to ask but you."

"I don't mind TEC, really. Ask me anything."

"Well then, first leave the room and take the elevator up, as you did earlier."

Amy pulled out her hammer and grinned wickedly. "Let's do this!"

"Amy, we don't even know how we're supposed to get in there, and you already have a weapon!"

Peach shrugged. "You never know!"

**Next Floor-**

"You will first go in the opposite direction of Sir Grodus' Room. Exit the elevator and enter the room with the green lamp above it."

"This already isn't so bad!" cheered Amy. "There isn't even any X-Nauts here!"

"It must be lunch break or something…" Zelda pondered as Peach located said door.

"Now I will have you concoct a potion to make you three transparent."

"You mean…a potion that…makes you invisible?" Peach gasped.

"Sweet!" "Awesome!"

Peach gave them a quizzical look.

"…well being invisible is like the second ultimate superpower!" "I've been jealous of Espio for a long time!"

"Yes. You will enter Sir Grodus' room by becoming completely invisible."

"Wow…okay, how do we make it?"

"You must first set all of the potions on the desk in the Concoctinator. It is that machine in the back, but even I do not know which potion to set where. There should be memos left in this room by the X-Naut researchers. Please use them as references and set the potions in the machine."

"Wait...you're just going to have three girls who have been locked up in a room for weeks and who don't have a clue what they're doing attempt to throw together some potion that they'll probably screw up?" Zelda questioned. TEC beeped for a yes and left them to their task. "…you've gotta be kidding me. Potions were Link's thing. He always knew how to mix them to be able to replenish all your hearts when you die or something like that!"

"Well, we'd better start working now!" Peach sighed, picking up a sticky note that said, "Do not put the red potion on the far right."

"Oops…" Said Amy, already putting the red on the far right and the other potions in random places, and hitting the button.

"Amy! What did you do?" Peach shrieked.

"I just wanted to test something out…"

"This is worse than when we were baking the cake!" Zelda groaned.

"Turn that off, Amy!"

"Okay, okay…I'm starting to feel a little betrayed!"

She hit the button to shut it off, causing the newly created potion to appear on the conveyor belt. Amy picked it up and sniffed it.

"Hmm…should I drink it?"

"_Drink it?_ You throw together a random recipe and you want to taste-test it?"

"Why not?"

Zelda threw up her hands. "Fine, fine, you do that!"

"I think I will!"

Amy plugged her nose and chugged the potion, but not all of it, and awaited the effects. Zelda thought she'd grow another arm, but…she just turned blue.

"Ohmigosh! I'm Sonic's shade of blue! This is the best potion ever!"

"It clashes with that outfit though."

Amy made a face. "Oh really? How's about YOU drink it?"

As Zelda opened her mouth to snicker, Amy dropped a drop of potion down her throat. Zelda gagged on it, and was suddenly dressed like a clown. Amy doubled-over laughing.

"The old "clown costume swap"! That never gets old!" Amy cackled. Zelda gritted her teeth.

"Hilarious, huh? Let's see how YOU like it!"

Peach, watching them, just sighed and continued to take note of the notes. Yes, they were her best friends and she loved them dearly…but playing around with a potentially dangerous potion? She wasn't getting into that. Maybe they were in that room a little too long… By the time she looked again, Zelda had a tail, horns, two tongues, wings, and still wore the clown suit, while Amy was still blue, but had crab claws, two sets of fangs, and was a guy.

"…I think we should stop now…" Zelda gulped. Boy-Amy nodded. Peach smacked her head and snatched the potion.

"Give me that! What the heck does this do anyway?"

"No, Peach!"

Peach took the tiniest little drop, just curious to see what would happen, and suddenly smoke surrounded her. Zelda and Amy shielded their eyes, and when the smoke cleared…Peach was perfectly fine.

"Hmm…nothing happened. How odd."

"_Darn! I almost wanted something to happen!" _Peach squealed in a really high pitched voice. Zelda and Amy had to cover their ears.

**"What the-What happened to my voice?"** This time she spoke, her voice was deep. Zelda started cracking up.

"Oh MAN! I wish I had a joke for that one!"

"Maybe Peach got deeper?"

"No."

"_My_** voice**_ keeps_** changing** _pitch!_ **This** is _terrible!_ …_**GAH!"**_

TEC could be heard sighing. "…use the green potion to turn yourselves back to normal- but DON'T drink it all!"

Peach, Zelda, and Amy each took a sip, and returned back to normal. Peach then dusted herself off and held out the notes.

"While you two were messing around, I managed to get some useful information! We can't put the red potion on the far right, we have to place the blue potion next to red, and we need to place two potions between red and green ones."

"…and with my gift of utmost intelligence, the red potion must go on the far left because it can't be on the far right, and two must be in-between red and green!" Zelda announced.

"And blue has to go next to red!" added Amy.

"…and orange must go in the third slot so there'll be two between red and green!" finished Peach. They slapped a simultaneous high-five.

"We're such geniuses!"

Placing the vivid, pale, pretty, and lovely colored potions in their correct spots, TEC continued his instructions.

"Are you sure they are placed to your liking now?"

All three girls nodded.

"Very well. Then please cue the button on the control panel located on the left side of the room."

"I got it!" Amy cried, rushing over to the button. Zelda went to the button to control a microwave, and Peach went to the conveyor belt. When Amy hit her button, a beaker popped out and prepared to concoct the potion.

"Please press the button where the speaker stops to dispense some potion."

"Get over here!" Zelda called. Amy claimed the red potion's button, Zelda got blue and orange, and Peach got green. The beaker first stopped at red, Amy hitting that one. Then it paused at blue, giving Zelda a chance. It continued orange, blue, orange, red, orange, and finally green. Peach hit it disdainfully as Zelda rushed back over to her position of the microwave.

"I will heat the mixture in the beaker for 30 seconds. Press the button exactly 30 seconds after heating starts to stop the machine. Can you handle this?"

Zelda saluted. "YES!"

**30 seconds later-**

"HIYAH!"

Zelda pounded on the button full force. Peach waited at the conveyor belt to see a bright green potion emerge from the microwave.

"By my calculations it should be finished, but…did it come out correctly, do you think?"

"Yes, because I waited _exactly _30 seconds!" Zelda stated. "…and we all put the potions in the right spots."

"Then please drink it."

"Ugh, it smells so funky…"

Peach took the first swig, and by magic she turned invisible. Zelda and Amy cheered and finished off the glass. Now, only their clothes were visible.

"You have done it. You have successfully made yourself transparent. Congratulations."

"We can go where no one's ever gone before…"

"Like Grodus' room?"

"I was thinking Area 51..."

"But…I must ask you to take off your dresses, however. Even the potion cannot make your clothes invisible.

"WHAT? That's indecent! No way!" Peach screamed.

"Are you out of your motherboard or hard drive or whatever part of a computer functions as a brain!" added Zelda.

"…oh fine I guess. If it's the only way…" Peach sighed.

"Oh, this is _so_ weird…" Amy complained. "DON'T YOU DARE THINK OF LOOKING!"

"We're invisible anyway, Amy."

**After a really awkward stripping-**

"When you go into Sir Grodus' room, first locate the disk with the recorded data. The insert the disk and connect to the network. When you are finished with that, please come back to this room. You already know how to become normal again."

"Gee, this is kind of a complicated plan, huh?"

"…I suppose. Now, please go to Sir Grodus' room."

"No need to be pushy!"

The trio of girls made their way down the hallway, trying to forget the fact that they were naked and going down a hall as the X-Nauts started returning. Zelda just about ran all the way there, while Amy tried to take it slow and hope for the best. When they entered Grodus' area, Grodus was gone, and a red type of Yux was guarding a door the girls hadn't noticed before.

"The room…" Peach whispered. She opened the door, motioned for her friends to follow, realized they couldn't see her, and then just held the door open until they gave a light sound to show that they were inside. Peach then quietly shut the door.

Yux Thing: ?

**Inside-**

"Holy, his walls are actually an aquarium!"

"With those evil water-chomps to match!"

"Now, where is that disk?"

Amy pointed, forgetting they couldn't see her either. "I think it's that orange one in that file of yellow ones on that shelf!"

Peach and Zelda both headed over and ended up bonking heads. Peach scowled, but so did Zelda, yet neither saw. Peach pulled out the disk and cheered.

"Found it! This MUST be it!"

"Now we put it in the computer and connect to the network!" Zelda stated. Peach gave an invisible nod and stuck the disk in the correct slot. The loading menu started up, causing the girls to cheer. When it was finished loading, Peach placed the disk back in the container and they hurried out.

"Like we were never here!"

"I don't see the point in us coming. That was way too simple."

"It got us out of the room!"

"Touché."

**Back at Lab-**

"Thank you Princess Peach and friends. I was able to obtain the data that I desired."

"Is that right? Well, I'm glad."

"Of course _Peach _would be!"

"Ha ha."

"Just drink the green potion like previously to return to normal."

Peach, Zelda, and Amy finished off the green potion- after getting dressed again- and were able to see each other once more.

"What a relief! I was kind of worried I'd never be visible again!"

"There was never any danger of that. Now, please return to the computer room."

**Computer Room-**

As soon as they entered, Peach asked the question.

"Say, by the way TEC…what was that data?"

"I am still analyzing it. The data is very heavily encrypted. But if my prediction is correct…"

"If it's correct…what?" asked Amy slowly.

"That cut off certainly doesn't ease my spirits!" exclaimed Zelda.

"No. I cannot afford any mistakes or assumptions. I will let you know when my analysis is complete. Now, please use the communicator if you wish."

Peach turned to Amy and Zelda. "You two wanna send a message?"

They shook their heads.

"If you say so…" she turned to TEC's keyboard and started punching in her next message to the gang. Amy and Zelda put their names on it before TEC sent it, however.

"We are done for now. Please go back to your room."

"Awwwwwww" "Oh rings!"

Zelda and Amy sulked off while Peach smiled at the computer.

"Ok. Take care, TEC!"

"Thank you, Princess Peach. Tell your friends that too."

Peach gasped in happy surprise. "Why, you're welcome TEC!"

She happily headed down the hallway, not hearing TEC whisper, "Princess Peach…I will protect you…"

* * *

**Another Peach chapter down...and tomorrow: BOWSAH! But it's a _little _on the short side, though I like it anyway. :D**

**P.S. Everyone say happy birthday to my sister! She needs it, because instead of celebrating her birthday, we're going to my friend's older sister's open house!**

**Natalie who just walked over: Yeah- I won't even get my electric scooter! **

**Well_ I _made you cupcakes!**

**Natalie: No, MOM made me cupcakes...**

**...I licked the spoon. **


	58. Showdown at Twilight

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 57: Showdown at Twilight

Back with Team Bowser, they were just NOW arriving in Twilight Town. Ganondorf had beaten Kammy, Eggman was caculating his own things at the time, and Bowser was still going on about Crystal Stars and Peach. Nothing out of the ordinary, except that they_ may _have a shot at getting a Crystal Star here! However, another enemy of Team Mario happened to be there too…and that already spells "bad encounter".

"Bleck! What is this place? Why is the light so weird here? It's spooking me out!" Bowser instantly complained, glaring up at the sky.

"Get used to my realm…" snorted Ganondorf.

"It's an odd place known as-" Eggman started, but was interrupted by Kammy.

"The light's odd because this is Twilight Town, my Lord. Should be treasure here…"

"I wanted to say that!"

"Let's put the screws to one of these creepy things and the Crystal Star!"

"Sounds good to me Haggy!"

"If it hasn't been nabbed already…" muttered Ganondorf. Bowser hit him in the shoulder.

"Stop being such a negative!"

"This so isn't worth it…how did we even get here anyway?"

Eggman pulled out a strange device strapped to his wrist. "We teleported after I scanned the area, saying the next Crystal Star was said to be here."

"Oh yeah…it went fuzzy after that, you know?"

"Know what you mean!"

"Hey, where'd meathead go?"

Eggman pointed. "Picking a fight with a random local. Let's check it out!"

They ran a little ways to catch up with Bowser, talking to a man dressed in purple with a large red beard. And by talking, I mean intimidating.

"Oh man…I'm pretty sure Beldam said…she lost her Superbombomb here…" Lord Crump mumbled to himself, not noticing Bowser hovering over his shoulder. "This…STINKS! Really. This whole deal is EXTREMELY BAD! BAD! BAD! BAAAD! I gotta cowboy up and make a serious comeback here."

"Are you quite finished talking to yourself?" Eggman snickered. Lord Crump jumped up like he heard him, but really found the Superbombomb in a far-off bush. Bowser, Eggman, and Ganondorf exchanged glances as he pawed through the grass.

"BAM! Got it! I am the MAN!" Crump cheered. "Now we can crush Mario and Link and get the Crystal Stars in one fell swoop! Hot-diggety-dog!"

"Did you hear that? That skunk's after the Crystal Stars too!" Ganondorf hissed.

"Perhaps he's with the same people who kidnapped Princess Peach and the others…"

"Buh! Buh!** Buh huh huh huh huh**! The luck of the moon is still riding shotgun with me!"

Kammy gritted her teeth and pointed her wand at Crump. "Hey you! Suspicious guy! You know something about the Crystal Stars, don't you?"

Crump blinked and turned around. "Buh? Someone there? Hey! What's the big idea, you Turtle Boy, Dark Freak, and Eggman?"

"Whaddya know Eggy? He hit you spot on!" Ganondorf chortled. Eggman clenched his fists and looked ready to burst.

"Shut up! You sound like Sonic, Dark Freak!"

"Hahaha- wait, _Dark Freak?_ That's so low!"

"You guys are looking for Crystal Stars too? Sweet! This'll help the Crump comeback! Now then! Let's get to it! You'll be telling me everything you know-"

"Uh, actually, it's going to be YOU who's gonna spill every bit of info out of your big, ugly head!" Bowser roared. "Yeah. Sorry about that. And if you hesitate at all, we'll show you no mercy!"

Ganondorf lit up his hand while Eggman gave an evil sneer. Bowserlet out a low chuckle as he advanced toward his opponent. Crump gulped and took a few steps back.

"Wh-whoa there, big guy…I mean…NO! Wait! What am I afraid of? _You?_ Buh! **Buh huh!** If you think you can take me, then try it, _Chubby!"_

Bowser looked highly offended as Eggman shook a fist. "You'd better not be talking about me!"

Ganondorf snickered, "If he was, he would've said _Fatso_!"

"Of all the nerve…"

Bowser felt the fire building up in his throat as Ganondorf held Eggman away from attacking everyone and anyone out of turn. Crump chuckled then clapped his hands.

"All troops, REPORT!" He jumped to his right, allowing the X-Nauts he summoned to surround him. "buh! Buh! **Buh huh huh huh!** Yeah? You like that? Kinda of a lot of dudes, huh? Feel like talking yet?"

"Mweh heh heh heh heh! You dare scoff at us? Koopa Clan…FORM UP!" Kammy called. A variety of Magikoopas like herself, Hammer Bros, and Koopatrols suddenly arrived and swarmed Team Bowser.

Crump's words of intelligence: "Whoa! Well played!"

Eggman snapped his fingers. "Blast it! If only I brought my robot teleportation remote… then our side would be twice as large!"

"Hmph. I don't have any army to control…"

"Mweh heh heh heh heh! So what's gonna be, tough guy?" Kammy smirked. Bowser stomped his foot.

"Stop taking all the witty opportunities!"

Crump thought he was really in for it, until he remembered what he just put in pocket.

"Buh huh! Oh, I gotta laugh. THIS is why I keep one of these around! Sorry, suckers! Eat this, turtle dorks! Superbombomb!"

He pulled out the green bomb and chucked it at Bowser's team. Bowser's pupils shrank as he screamed, "INCOMING!"

"Make way!" Eggman bellowed, taking refuge behind Bowser's shell. Ganondorf hid behind him.

"Don't worry- you're enough shield for me!"

"ARGH!"

When the bomb made contact with the ground, a huge devastating impact exploded out of the compressed package at full force, blowing the very town into a gazillion- kidding. It simply bounced off Bowser's nose.

"Huh? **That** was it? _That_ was your big weapon? It didn't even go off!" Bowser guffawed. "Gwa ha ha ha ha ha! _This_ is how you do it, amateur! Watch and learn!"

"Don't you DARE-" "No, you idiot!" "Lord Bowser!" "Oh crud…"

Bowser activated the bomb with his fire breath that he was saving to burn Lord Crump and his team to a deadly crisp. The bomb started shaking and shining, everyone screaming, too shocked to move, and eventually they were all enveloped in a white smoke…

"Way to BLOW it this time, Bowser..."

"Quiet, Ganomdorf..."

* * *

**LOL short but funny- I can't help but love this one anyway. And good news- Chapter 6 begins next week! Woo-hoo! Ah, I love that too. **

**And something else that just now came to my attention...we, uh... HIT _400_ REVIEWS! *noob squeal followed by me fainting* Can I thank you guys enough? ! I dunno! Okay, I'll get it out now- OH MY GOD! All right, I'm good. The 400th reviewer was** **GalexiatheChao (sorry Champ 15) which is _awesome! _This is like...beyond what I'd ever thought I'd get to! Just...WOW. (all right, I'll stop...whee!)**


	59. All Aboard an Excess Train!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 58: All Aboard an Excess Train!

Back on Keelhaul Key, everyone was standing around at the newly built dock for Cortez's ship. A few of the trapped Toads were on board, along with some of the original crewmates. Others wanted to hang around Keelhaul Key for a while longer.

"You…you have distinguished yourself in battle, amigos!" Cortez chortled to Mario's gang. "You are worthy in my eyes! You may use my ship, the Black Skull, anytime you like!"

"He's still a really nice guy after all!" Kirby cheered.

"I thought you took that back…" Link trailed.

"Yeah, well, now I take THAT back!"

"Ah, many thanks to you! This ship can get us back to Rogueport in no time!" Flavio interrupted. "Let us get away from this Coconut Pit and back home! Come, everybody! That is all there is to it then, am I not correct? To sea, Captain Mario!"

"No need to tell me twice!" Sonic yelped, hopping onto the ship and sitting in a safe corner with no view of the sea.

"Still see you haven't gotten over your fear, Nic-"

"You haven't been gone _that_ long Sam!"

"Sweet halleluiah- we're heading back!" Link cried. "I'm so tired of this island…"

"Tell me about it…" mumbled Koops.

"It was a bit of an adventure, eh?" Bobbery put in.

"Everywhere we _go_ is a new adventure!"

Mario nodded and started to climb aboard, but was stopped by someone calling to him.

"Ahh, Mario…we're going to stay here. It's been tough at times, but I think we really like this place!" Franny explained, referring to herself, Frankie, Pa-Patch, and the rest of the Toads. "Yeah…I can live here with my little Frankie!"

"Hey Mario! Give my regards to da boss, will ya?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna stay here. It's an all right place to live wifout any ghosts, eh?"

"Yes, very good. They'll be rather happy, eh? But, we must be on our way…" Bobbery said from the ship.

"Yeah Mario, they're going to be fine!" Goombella assured.

Mario: Oh!

He climbed on board also, Cortez signaling they were shipping out.

**Half-way there-**

"So, Samus…" Link began. "Anything you feel like telling us?"

Samus sat slightly away from her friends, back turned.

"No. Why?"

Link shrugged. "No reason. I just wondered why you ran off from us in such a huff!"

"Link, no! You're going to cause us to start another fight!" Kirby pleaded. Link patted him.

"Don't worry! I understand why you and Sonic left, but Samus is the only one who really doesn't have an alibi…"

"Which means it's her fault we separated in the first place…" Sonic grumbled, half-asleep. Samus' sharp blue eyes shot open, with slight hurt, but they couldn't tell that in the dark, especially when she wasn't facing them in the first place.

"What do you mean 'my fault'?_ I'm_ not the _only_ one who decided to go it alone!"

Mario stayed quiet- despite the fact he hardly spoke in the first place- this was the first time he'd actually heard what had happened.

"Well, you three obviously ditched me, so technically I don't count…" Link started.

"I ran off because I was really mad you'd even think of doing such a thing, and I didn't want to hurt Link in the process, " Sonic explained.

"…and I left 'cause I was getting ready to cry!" Kirby finished, eyes watering up at the memory. "Why were you so mad Samus? It was just a location!"

"It was stupid to fight over, that's for sure…" mumbled Sonic, now starting to doze off. Kirby crawled next to him and fell asleep beside him. Link just stared at Samus.

"I saw something in you that day…something definitely snapped…" he murmured, also starting to fall asleep. "Didn't…wanna…say…make them…worry…"

Link slumped against the wall of the boat, the only ones still awake were Mario, Samus, and Ms. Mowz, though the thieving rat was off doing her own things. Samus turned to Mario, helmet covering her expression.

"I have a reason…but you're the only one I can _really _trust…"

Mario blinked. Samus knew those guys far longer than he had, and he was the one she trusted most? Then, he thought again. Samus hardly ever liked to reveal anything, and Link, Kirby, and Sonic half the time you couldn't really confine anything to. Wasn't their fault- it'd accidentally slip out soon enough. If you told Mario something, he certainly wouldn't tell either way! A bit flattered by her comment, Mario was about to say something to her, but she had fallen asleep too.

**Month * Day O**

_And thus our adventure came to an exciting end, ah? The ship sailed smoothly onto Rogueport, and soon we saw the harbor off our bow. I did not find treasure, but I am satisfied nevertheless, as strange as it sounds. For I have found something even more precious than doubloons. Yes…Even now I hear the crew readying to dock. The time is ripe to close this journal. To all those who wander seas…Flavio's blessing is upon you!_

_Flavio_

**Rogueport, at Last-**

"At last, we return, slathered in glory, to my hometown: sweet Rogueport!" Flavio announced. "Of course, it is only because of my courageous efforts that we return at all, eh? But, of course, you all know it, and know it well…"

"I was going to groan, but he does have a slight point there."

"Yes, yes Master Flavio…" a toad hummed, standing at the front. "But now, please excuse us. Perhaps chance will bring us all together again someday!"

The large pack of toad hurried off, leaving Flavio and Team Mario.

"Wh-What! Y-You're all leaving already? Ah…that was harsh. Such is life, Captain Mario. You are anxious to continue your own adventure also, ah?"

Mario: Mm-hm!

"One day you may surpass the great and fabulous Flavio in greatness and fabulousness. It is not likely, I assure you, but you should, how you say, shoot for the stars, ah? If ever you should reach the pinnacle, remember to shout "FLAVIO!" to the wind!"

"That reminds me, amigo…" Cortez began. "If you ever get the urge to return to Keelhaul Key, just say the word, OK?"

"Yes, yes, you giant skull you. Your time in the spotlight is done. Get over yourself." hissed Flavio. "Well, anyway, my adoring fans have gone, do I will b excusing myself as well. If you should see me in town, I would permit you to say hello to me. May we meet again, ah?"

And with a wave, Flavio was off.

"Whew! Thought he'd never leave…but he has changed though," Link stated. "Hm, now what?"

"Well, well, well, old boy…I should think we'd head for that door as this point," Bobbery answered.

"Oh yeah!"

"Wait, what door?" Samus asked, only to interrupted by the famous sound of a Mail Box SP.

"Oh, it's Peach, Zelda, and Amy!" gasped Kirby. Samus opened her mouth to speak.

"They were kidnapped again, before you ask…" Sonic told Samus. Samus glanced around.

"…how long _was_ I gone?"

_Dearest Mario, and all that are with you,_

_We have good news! We still don't know where we're being held, but there's an odd computer here called TEC. By cooperating with this TEC, we've managed to obtain some of these fiends' data. TEC is currently analyzing it…and as strange as it may sound, we trust him. Once his analysis is done, we should be able to provide you with details of their plans. We'll e-mail you again once we learn more. Be good, OK?_

_-Princess Peach, Princess Zelda, and Amy Rose-_

_AKA Z.A.P._

"Wow! Peach and the girls sure have their hands full!" Koops exclaimed.

"We should be getting our fair share done as well!" agreed Flurrie.

"They're definitely not to be trifled with, that's for sure!"

"To the Thousand-Year Door!" Link announced.

"Wait, why's Luigi over there with a flower and a whole bunch of other people?" Samus asked.

"Luigi? Where?"

"By that Boat Pad-let's jump him!"

Link took off, followed by Mario with a sudden urge to protect his brother, and everyone else who was curious. Luigi was standing with a proud face, a green Crazee Dayzee behind him, Malon and Blooey talking up a storm, Tails beaming and chatting with Torque, and a new face that Kirby recognized.

"Meta Knight! What're you doing with Luigi?"

Meta Knight sighed. "I happened to run into them, while looking for you, and I've decided to join their quest-"

"He had the main part in the play we entered!" Malon explained. "Oh Link, it was SO much fun! I got to sing and it was with Blooey-"

"-and I was the Head Stage Crew Sonic!" Tails added.

"Yeah, you should've seen the effects he did!"

"But that was nothing compared to your singing!"

"They were all great actors!" Hayzee explained, just as proud as everyone else. "I was honored to produce the play for them! Meta Knight and Luigi stole the show though! Meta Knight part was so dramatic, and Luigi was a smash hit!"

Luigi murmured, "…I was grass…"

_"Grass?" _"Bwahahaha!"

Everyone started cracking up, until Luigi stated he had many "Grass Fans" and Hayzee backed it up saying it was true.

"Oh MAN! I have got to hear THIS story!" Sonic chuckled.

"Well, it's a long story but here it goes…"

**Two hours later-**

"I wish we were there than stranded on a haunted island!" complained Kirby. "By the way…what did that leading role girl look like?"

Meta Knight smirked behind his mask. "She was actually quite pretty! She was a green boo with an interesting laugh and these gorgeous crystal bows-"

"_YOU **KISSED** MY GIRLFRIEND?_ I'M GOING TO** KILL** YOU!"

"Kirby, no!"

As Kirby jumped up to rip Meta Knight's face off, Link and Samus grabbed Kirby's red feet. Malon's jaw dropped.

"_You're _Bow's boyfriend?"

"So that's who she meant…" mused Torque.

"She was just acting Kirby. I can very much assure you that she's still very attracted to you," Meta Knight stated. Kirby folded his arms as he was released.

"Well, of _course_ she is! We're talking about me here! Cute, pink, and adorable!" he glared at Meta Knight. "…but I still can't believe _you_ kissed her!"

"It was acting!"

"I'll never forgive you! NEVER! YOU'LL PAY-"

"Hey! That's my line!" complained Blooey. Kirby stomped off in a huff.

"I'm heading to the door!"

"You can't get there without Mario!" Vivian called back. "…Oh boy…"

"Well, anyway, where are you guys going next?" Sonic asked.

"We're gonna go to Rapturous Ruins next! We have two more Compass Pieces to retrieve!" Tails explained.

Sonic gave a thumbs up. "Good luck with that, little bro! We'd better catch up with Kirby though…"

"Understood. Good luck Mario!" Luigi stated. Mario gave a nod and led his group to the Thousand Year Door- at least, he led Samus. He was sure most of his other allies had that place known by heart by now.

**Thousand-Year Door, after Mario collected 5 Shine Sprites-**

"Let's do it!"

Mario held up the Diamond, Link the Emerald, Sonic the Gold, Kirby Ruby, and Mario gave Samus the Sapphire one to hold onto. Now with a 5th Crystal Star in their possession, a new portion of the map would be uncovered! The familiar lights and patterns danced around, Samus watching in awe as the map arose from Mario hands and how everyone thought it wasn't a big deal- anymore, at least.

_In the bottom right corner of the map, a large museum-looking building appeared, and a orange Star marked that spot._

The glass-shattering was heard, and the map returned to Mario's hands. Samus peered over his shoulder and gasped.

"That's Poshley Heights!"

"Ha! I_ told_ you!"

"But how do get there?"

"Yeah, you guys won't let me trade Ms. Mowz in for some tickets, so what are we going to do?"

"We ask Frankly!"

Mario: Oh yeah!

_"Frankly?"_

**Frankly's Place-**

"Great news, my friends! The next Crystal Star is in Poshley Heights!"

"We knew that, genius." Samus mumbled.

"Oh, man! Aren't there oodles of rich and famous people living in that place?" Spike asked.

"Yes, yes, and I'm fairly sure there's also a shrine to the stars called Poshley Sanctum. No fearsome monsters or dangerous dungeons either! It's just a tourist attraction!"

"Yeah, yeah, so was Glitzville!" Sonic sighed. "And look what happened there!"

"How. Do. We. Get. There?" Kirby asked.

"This just sounds like Snobville to me…" Spike snickered.

"Samus was the one that wanted to go there!"

Samus held up her hands. "To tell the truth, I kinda just wanted to ride the train…"

"That's the best part! You ride the most famous train of all! The Excess Express! Yes, after a long luxurious engine excursion, the Crystal Star will be yours! This time'll be a cinch!"

"Let us rephrase, how do we actually get on the train?"

"Perhaps you should ask Don Pianta for help with this one too…"

"So we head there anyway, huh? Interesting…" mused Samus.

"I've heard stories about that guy, and I heard he's a loon!" yelped Spike.

"Yeah, we had to suffer a soap opera last time!" added Koops.

"Well, we still need to get the Crystal Star no matter what!" Sonic said.

"Just don't turn me in a for a ticket!" Ms. Mowz snapped as they headed out the door.

"Hey Mario got us some more Shine Sprites- we can at least level up Bobbery and Ms. Mowz!" suggested Link. When they headed for Merlon's place next door, they were surprised to see him outside his house.

"Oh! What imprecebable timing…Yes, this was destined…" he muttered. "When I consulted my star charts, I saw a portentous sign for you Mario…it went thusly…"in the house of the dragon that flew through the air, beyond the reversible stair…near the empty black chest that cursed you…lies a clue, to help your allies learn…"

"How peculiar."

"I have no idea what it means, unfortunately, but I have no doubt of its importance as a sign for you and your friends."

Link grinned. "I know just what you're talking about…"

**Deadly Spike Room in Hooktail Castle-**

"Mwaha!"

"…that was random…"

"What're we doing here again?"

Link pointed to the far side of the room, revealing a crack that was there. "I remember seeing that when we were running for our lives, and now that we have a bomb in our party, we can blast it!"

"Good call, actually…"

Link stuck a pose. "Thank you, thank you!"

"Don't let it go to your head."

Link sulked and tossed Bobbery at the crack. It blew up, allowing Mario to enter, open a chest, and…received an up arrow?

"Well…was that really worth the trip?"

"I have no idea-I just wanted to get it out of the way…"

**Back with Merlon-**

Once Mario gave the mysterious Up arrow to Merlon, he recognized it as a sign to go "up". Crashing into the attic, Merlon located a red crystal ball that now allows the gang to level up the partners to Ultra Rank!

"Cool! Now if we get more Shine Sprites, we can become…**Ultra!" **Spike announced.

"I wonder who'll be first…"

"ME!" cried all the partners.

"…we'll decide when the time comes. We're out of Sprites. Now, to Don Pianta's!"

**Don Pianta's-**

When they entered, the entire gang gasped.

"Whoa! What in the…"

"Certainly didn't see that one coming…"

Don lie sick in a bed that had been moved in and replaced his desk. He moaned softly in his sleep. "Zzzznnhh…Francesca…"

"Aw…Poor Boss…Da big man's been sick wit loneliness ever since his daughter skedaddled…" Tony sighed.

"Our under boss, Frankie, is gone, da boss is in shambles…what's a syndicate to do?" moaned Vinny.

"Not lie in a bed, at least…" muttered Samus. Vinny glanced up and made a face.

"Well, if it isn't Don's runaway assistant!"

"She came back Vinny- she'd better have dat mowz wid her or else!" added Tony. Samus sweat dropped.

"Uh…do you _really _wanna go after insignificant little me when your boss is sick and dying?"

Vinny broke down. "Oh, you're right! What are we gonna do? That scruffy gang o' punk thieves are stealin' jobs from us right an' left…hey, but enough about us an' our stupid problems…what can we do for youse?"

"A-Actually…they need train tickets…" Samus explained, scratching the back of her head. "…and I don't have that thieving mouse either…"

"It's really important that we get them!" Spike added. "The whole town's demise could depend on these tickets!"

"A little dramatic there, eh?"

"Well, it's kinda true!"

"Whah? Tickets for the Excess Express?"

"Whoa. You want tickets for dat rolling wingding?"

Mario: Uh-huh!

"ooooo…ain't nutin' we can do about dat."

"Yeah, us givin' out tickets? Dat's rich! You got to talk to da boss for dat."

Everyone glanced down at the orange Pianta, still moaning his daughter's name. Tony turned away.

"I just can't stand seein' da boss like this…"

"If we just knew where dose newlyweds was, we could take da boss to see dem!"

"What if we said we knew where they were?" Vivian asked.

"Yeah! Maybe we _do_ know where they are!" Kirby threw in.

"They're the two Piantas we saw on Keelhaul Key, right?" Sonic questioned just to be sure.

"Yeah, that's them!"

Tony and Vinny turned around instantly.

"Who's on da what now! What did you just say? Repeat dat."

"you know where the young Miss Pianta is at?"

"…They're on Keelhaul Key?" replied Link.

"I swear to you, if you're lyin', I will turn you into confetti so help me…"

"They are! They are! Leave me alone!"

Tony folded his arms. "Well, if dat's where she is, why don'tcha bring her back here, huh? Be a pal!"

"We'd go ourselves, but we can't leave da boss unprotected, you get me?"

"You bring us Miss Francesca…and we'll do what we can to get you your train tickets. We got a deal or whah?"

"We have to go back to Keelhaul already! Dang…"

"Apparently it's a deal then!"

Mario: Oh yeah!

**Keelhaul Key, A Long Time Later-**

"Well, at least it only took 4 hours…" Sonic stated weakly, trying to sound positive. They were currently in the civilization, looking for the couple.

"4 hours we could've used to be on that train!" complained Samus. "Now, where are they…"

"I just overheard Pa-Patch say that they're in the jungle looking for something!" Vivian cried. "Let's go!"

"Well, this'll be-"

"Don't say easy! That jinxes it!"

Mario stopped the oncoming fight and led his troop into the jungle. They weren't too deep into it, but it still brought back terrifying memories. Mario tapped Frankie and waved.

"Oh hey…it's Mario. How you been, dere, pal? We do somefin' for you?"

"Well-"

"Don Pianta is dying!"

"Kirby!"

"What?"

"We don't think he's dying, but he's definitely down with something…" explained Goombella correctly.

"What! Da boss is sick?"

Francesca shrieked. "Oh, poor Daddy, oh no…and at a time like this…"

"What's up?"

"You see, I…I just dropped the wedding ring Frankie gave me around here somewhere. I can't possibly leave until I find that ring! Otherwise something may eat it! It must be between here and that skull rock!"

"I'll go find it!" volunteered Sonic. "I'd be back in a flash, and it'd certainly save time…"

Frankie turned to Francesca. "Listen to me for a second, my fuzzy little coconut…shouldn't we forget about da ring for now an' check on da boss?"

"How could you say that Frankie? That ring was the symbol of our love! We have to find it! We HAVE to! Or…maybe you just don't love me anymore. Is that it?"

"We're gonna be here for awhile…" groaned half the team.

"You said it…"

"I even offered to go hunt it down!"

Frankie recoiled in shock. "Of course I love you, my little bacon burger…"

"None of your sweet talk now! You're going to have to say you love me 100 times!"

"100 TIMES? !"

"Ouch." "Harsh dude." "Sucks to be you!" "That wasn't nice…" "Sorry! Slipped!"

"If you love me, you have to say it Frankie." Francesca stayed firm. Frankie gulped before sighing.

"oh, come on now babe…of_ course_ I love you my little short shack! Now please, let's go."

"NO! You have to say it 99 more times!"

"Awwwwwwwwwww…fine, you crazy dame! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you…"

**95 dreaded "I love you's" later…**

"I LOVE YOU."

"That's a LOT of love right there."

"Huff…heef…hoof…there, I said it…"

"Oh Frankie, baby…you're such a silly billy! Hee hee hee!" Francesca gushed.

"Now, my little cream puff…let's find that ring right away, whaddya say?"

Sonic raised a hand before taking off. "I got this one. You guys stay here…wait, you wanna come Spike?"

Spike shrugged. "Sure! Why not?"

Sonic gave a nod and darted into the jungle, going slightly faster than Spike could go. The hedgehog bounded from trees, dashed over the bridge, climbed up the side of the cliff with Spike's help, and Spike's sensitive Yoshi nose, located the ring by a bush in the "Skull Rock Area".

"Well, now that we found it…" Sonic started, twirling the ring on his finger and snapping it up and down. "…we'd better get it to her quick!"

"Of course! Duh!"

Sonic smirked. "Hmm…you've never gone sonic speed before, have you?"

Spike shook his head.

"Hop on my back, and hang on for dear life."

"Sweet! A matter of life and death ride!"

Spike hopped on, and with one ring in hand, Sonic broke the sound barrier. Trees shook, birds flew, and apparently it reached the group…

. . . . . . . .

"…and then, I said "I'm shaking. Are you going to stamp me or SEND me away? I bet it's a package deal!"

"That was a terrible moment…" Samus sighed. "We were all in the dark and everything!"

Francesca just giggled. Link was glad that_ someone_ liked his jokes. Just then, Sonic's boom caught up with them and blasted them all into the small pond next to them. Sonic braked at the edge where Francesca was and said. "Found it! Here ya go!"

Franny completely forgot that she was sopping wet at the sight of her beloved ring. Spike climbed off Sonic's back and dizzily started to dance around.

"Woah, that was way past cool…"

"He's like a little me!"

"Frankie! Now we can go home to Daddy!" Francesca cheered. Everyone also rejoiced the occasion after climbing out of the pond.

"We sure can, my little cheese n' cracker. Let's go!"

She turned to the group. "…well, so, anyway….we'll be down at the dock. Hurry there!"

Link snapped his fingers. "We'll do you one better!"

**Don Piantas Already!-**

"Talk about a giant skip!" "Yeah, we didn't even see the couple get on and off the ship and we're suddenly a few hours in the future!"

"We're here, aren't we?"

"Daddy! Daddy! DADDY! Wake up! Open your eyes!" Francesca cried at her father's bedside.

"Boss!"

Mario walked over and poked Don, getting him realize Francesca was there. Instantly, the blue in his face disappeared and he sat up.

"DADDY!" "BOSS!"

"Oh, my little Francesca! You came back for me! An' you too, Frankie!"

"Of COURSE we did Daddy! As soon as we heard you were ill, we dropped everything and rushed back!"

"Not quite…" snickered Link, and everyone did have to agree.

"Francesca…Frankie…I was wrong. I'm a stubborn old man. Forgive me. I know I may regret sayin' dis but…I want da two of youse to stay here. Wit' me. I can't bear to be away from you two crazy kids. I'm an old man now. I need peace…"

He hopped out of bed and smiled a little. "I guess the time has come for me to stop bein' so selfish an' causin' everybody trouble…looks like even Don Pianta, the Don of Untimely Death, can't escape da old age."

"All this talk of old age is making me feel old!" "It is getting a little old…"

"Da time has come everyone. I'm gonna retire."

Entire Room: OMG.

"It can't be!" "Whoa, boss!" "Boss, no!" "Daddy!"

Don held up a hand. "No. It's time. I mean it. An' I want you to be my successor, Frankie. Whaddya say, Frankie? As of today, you are da new head of Pianta syndicate!"

"Whaaaaaaat? B-But Boss! You still got it in ya! You're like a spring chicken! You don't gotta do this!" wailed Frankie. "And I mean me? Boss?"

"No. You're da one, Frankie. I've been thinking' dat for a long time now. You'll do just fine kid. I got a feeling' about you. A good one. I want you to take care of Francesca and da rest of da syndicate…da way I did."

"BOSS!"

Don grinned and turned to Mario. "You. Mario. You've done another favor for me kid."

Mario: Grins cheekily

"Yeah…" began Tony. "Uh, about dat Boss…"

"…oh, dis is gonna be just bee-yoo-tiful, I know it. _What_ did you guys do?"

"Well, uh, we kinda promised him something Boss…we told him we'd get him a ticket for da Excess Express if he brought your daughter…"

"Whoa ho ho ho ho ho ho! Is dat all? You had me worried for a second! Come on over here, Mario. How many do you want? One? Two? Ten? Help yourself!"

"We just need five…" Link explained, as Don handed the main team a ticket each. Samus took hers and grinned sweetly at Don.

"…so, now that you're retired and I have my train ticket, I don't need to hunt Ms. Mowz anymore, do I?"

Don laughed. "Of course not! Now, you scamps go out dere and enjoy that train!"

He told everyone he was leaving, as Tony and Vinny couldn't believe how fast he'd changed. The ex-boss waddled out the door, leaving the gang free to board that train. Francesca told Frankie they'd need to do a good job, Frankie promised to cut the nicknames, and Tony and Vinny pledged their undying loyalty. With that FINALLY out of the way, the gang escaped outside.

**Outside-**

"Yes! Yes! YEEESSSS! We can go to Poshley Heights now!" exclaimed Spike. "That sixth Crystal Star is as good as ours!"

"We get to ride the train! It's going to be so awesome! I've never been so excited about something so simple before in my life!" squealed Samus.

"Except when you went to Kirby's world the first time..." Sonic snickered under his breath.

"Mwee hee hee hee hee! I heard that, my uglies!" a voice literally called from the shadows. "So the sixth Crystal Star is in Poshley Heights, is it? That's a rather nice piece of information! Thanks ever so!"

Samus stopped celebrating and qhipped out her cannon. "Who the heck just spoiled my moment?"

Beldam cackled and emerged out of the ground. Vivian shrieked and Kirby shielded her from the witch.

"Beldam!" Link hissed.

"Normally, this would be where I finally deal with you and that homely traitor, Vivian…but something tells me that trying that alone would be unwise. So you live, for now. Instead, I'll just beat you to Poshley Heights and get that Crystal Star before you do! Mwee hee hee hee hee hee!"

She returned to the shadows, headed to who knew where.

"We can't let Beldam beat us! We have to hurry!" Vivian cried. Kirby nodded and struck a heroic pose.

"To the station!"

**Station-**

"Train! Train! Train!" Samus sang up the steps. "I can't wait! I heard that everybody loves this train!"

Mario smiled at her and showed the ticket toad all 5 of their tickets.

"Watch your step please. ALL ABOARD!"

"Me first!" Samus called, shoving to the front.

"Wow. She's _that_ happy?"

"I wonder why…I wonder why…"

Now boarded on the exclusive Excess Express, our gang was headed for an easy trip to Poshley Heights! Or were they…

* * *

**You guys are very, very, very lucky that I caved and decided to post today. It throws off PLX a little, but, you know, _whatever. _It's actually not that bad, just the next couple chapters won't be matched up. So ANYWAY, hope you have a happy Memorial Day today. (That IS today, right? It might be yesterday...yeah, cause that explains why most of us seem to _not_ have school today...) Memorial Day/Weekend= an excuse to go shopping and throw random parties. Trust me. (though I know it means "remembering" people, but...that hardly seems to be the concern anymore. People these days...)**


	60. The First Excessive Day

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 59: The First Excessive Day

Now with the train officially moving, everyone had been assigned to rooms. Mario, Samus, Ms. Mowz, and Goombella were in Room 5, Link, Bobbery, and Koops were in Room 4, Sonic and Spike were originally supposed to be in Room 2, but after some complaints were sent to Room 6, and Kirby wanted to sleep in the dining room, but ended up with Vivian and Flurrie in Room 7. Currently, all were gathered in Mario and Samus' room.

"Aw yeah! The Excess Express, man! This is so deluxe, man!" Spike stated.

Sonic grinned. "Tell me about it!"

"I can't believe I'm finally on board!" Samus exclaimed. "…Yay! I almost hate the fact that the next three days will fly right by!"

Mario: Oh!

"Hey…what's that?" Kirby wondered, staring at something on the floor. Link wondered, spotting something on the floor. He got down and picked it up, discovering it was a piece of paper. "You'd think they'd keep this place clean…"

"I was taking about that Shine Sprite, but that suspicious paper works too."

_Don't go to Poshley Heights! Get off the train now, or a sticky, yummy doom awaits it!_

"Great. We get here, and there's already a death threat."

"Whoa! What a freaky threat! You don't think this could be Beldam's work, do you? Whoever this psycho is, you gotta figure they're probably on this train, right? We gotta get this nut before anything bad goes down on this train!"

Mario: Oh yeah!

He collected the Shine Sprite Kirby pointed out, then exited the room.

"Where do we go first?" Link asked.

"Dining car! Dining car!" Kirby chanted. Everyone started at him. "…well, there's usually a lot of commotion in there!"

Kirby did have a point- the dining car did attract a lot of attention. Mario's room was the closest room to the dining car, so it was only a few steps away. Upon entering, the waitress gave a trademark grin and giggled, "Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! This is the dining car…where you eat and stuff! Some people take this train just so they can eat out yummily fabulous food!"

"I know I would…" Kirby said with his mouth drooling.

"And this trip we have a super-famous actor on board-"

"Brit Toad Spears! Toady GaGa! 3Toad3?"

"Those are singers, not actors!"

"Yeah, it's _Zip Toad_ omigosh! Oh, I'm totally swooning…I SO hope he comes here to eat soon…"

As she sighed dreamily, Link instantly spotted a shop and delved in there.

"There's so many good items! I'll be here for awhile stocking up- you guys go exploring without me!"

"Only you, Link…"

Still, there was no pulling Link away from a store, so the gang left him be. They talked to the business mouse that shared with Kirby, explaining that he had a very important deal to attend when they made it to Poshley Heights. On the left was the bob-omb family, with Bub, Sylvia, and Goldbob. And to the right…

"This is who I share a room with…" Sonic stated quietly. It was a blue Bumpity penguin in some kind of Sherlock Holmes get-up.

"I am on my way back home," he explained. "I have strayed so long, I have forgotten what it looks like!"

"Hm. Apparently all that these people are going to tell us is why they're going…" Samus trailed.

"It could be evidence!" cried Kirby, starting to write it all down. After visiting the people in that car, and telling the Conductoad about the sticky, yummy threat, they went through the dining car, where Link was still happily shopping, and talked to Chef Shimi.

"HELLO! I am Chef Shimi, the culinary expert! Glad to make your complaintance! Uh…I mean acquaintance. So sorry! Cheep-Cheep is my first language, you know. Today's lunch will be so amazing it will make your tongue cry out in shame! Please do taste it, so that my passion does not with in the pot of loneliness."

"Don't worry-I'll be there for sure!" Kirby confirmed before they returned to the orange car. They entered Cabin 4, which…had nothing in there.

"Link, Bobbery, and I don't share with anybody!" Koops cheered. "…except I get the couch…"

In Cabin 3 was an incredibly obese Toad with a fork and a spoon in his hands, looking ready to devour anything. They really weren't kidding when they said people rode the train for food… Kirby was in awe at how strong his food-intake was- it reminded him of the days when they met Gourmet Guy. As he reminisced, Samus grabbed him and took his into the green car.

"This was the room I was supposed to stay in…" Sonic complained, entering Cabin 2. This room was where Toadles was, but she had a fit about sharing a room with a rat, a male, and a someone at the very least, and the Conductoad had to kick them out. When she saw people attempt to enter her room again, she had a fit until she seen Mario.

"I'd rather have a man like him share a room with me!" she smirked.

"_Aaaaaannnd_ that'll never happen!" Samus huffed, pulling Mario out of the room.

In the last Cabin they checked was _Zip Toad!_ Goombella, Vivian, and Ms. Mowz slightly fainted while Flurrie claimed to have met him during her debut.

"I don't see what the big deal is, though. He just looks like a Toad with shades!" Sonic commented. Zip glared at him over the frames.

"Hey guys. Yeah, you know this, but I'm the absurdly famous movie Star _Zip Toad_. I'm gonna shoot this little multibillion-dollar art flick in Poshley Heights, yo. Oh, and uh, I only sign autographs for cute chicks. Sorry guys."

"Whatever to that!"

They left once more, heading back to the dining car the retrieve Link. Kirby, out of curiosity, stuck his head into the engine room, gaped at the man driving, until he was called back by Vivian.

**Dining Car-**

When they returned, the Waitress, the business mouse, Chef Shimi, Zip Toad, and the blue penguin were all gathered in the kitchen having a discussion.

"No! My heart cries out in the salty pain of misery! That was my master beast!…I mean my masterpiece!" Chef Shimi wailed dramatically.

"What happened here?" asked Sonic.

"I can say without the slightest hesitation that this smells like a case to me," the penguin deduced. "But what shall we call it, that is the question before us. Yes, what to call it?"

"What is he going on about?"

"He's figuring out the name of the case instead of actually solving it…"

"I have to share a room with a nutcase!"

"Yes! 'the Case is the Pot of Supper Stew That Vanished Suddenly and Mysteriously!' Indeed. That will do nicely."

"Oh no…we won't be able to have dinner?" sobbed Kirby. "How terrible!"

"Can't you cook anyway Kirby?"

"Well, I don't want to _brag_ or anything…"

"My dear train passengers…this is a full-fledged mystery, one that impacts you all!"

Everyone: WHAT? A MYSTERY? ZOMG!

"A mystery, you just said…and, uh, um, er, exactly…what kind of a dish is that?" Chef Shimi asked.

Everyone: …

"I am known as Pennington," the penguin explained, disregarding Chef Shimi completely. "You likely would not guess it, but I am a detective."

"No way…with that magnifying glass, bowtie, bag, and hat, I would've thought you were a fairy!"

"Oh, with the sarcasm!"

Pennington gave whoever said that a look. Everyone appeared to look innocent, however. "At the risk of modesty, you might say I have a nose for these things. And this little conundrum, my dear fellow passengers…poses no challenge…to me."

Everyone: _**OOOOOOOO**ooooohhh!_

"The central clue of this case, and also happens to be the most vital one, as it happens…is that the perpetrator took the whole pot, stew and all! And this…esteemed friends… leads me to believe that the one responsible…is YOU, you gluttonous woman!"

Everyone turn to the waitress and gasped.

"WHAAAAAAT? ME? Are you totally koo-koo? I have, like, no idea what you're talking about…" she stammered.

"Ermm…pardon me…Sorry. Please accept my apologies, my dear woman. I felt I needed to practice my accusation skills, you understand. Yes, sorry."

"Oh dear, we're so doomed…"

Everyone: …

The waitress made a face at Pennington, and the "detective" pretended not to notice.

"…Ahem. Very good. Now, let us get serious, shall we?"

"Hi guys! What I miss?" Link asked, arriving while stuffing his face with a Maple Super. Pennington pointed a flipper.

"IT WAS **HIM!** JUMP HIM!"

"YAH!" "TAKE THAT, CROOK!" "You'll be sorry now, friend! No wait, I meant _fiend!"_

"Wah! Get off me! HELP!"

"Get off him! He was probably stuffing his face with Shrooms while this happened!" Sonic shouted. Samus aimed her cannon at the pack of aroused passengers and they backed off instantly. Link also scrambled out of range.

"Watch where you point that thing!" Link yelped. "What the heck is going on?"

"Someone stole a pot of soup!" Kirby explained.

"And Sherlock Homeless over here just accused you of being the culprit," added Samus bluntly.

"It was kinda funny though!" chirped Goombella. Pennington tipped his hat.

"S-Sorry boy…just a bit jumpy, I suppose…"

Link stared hard at him. "I'm watching you…"

"…Okay. NOW getting seriously serious…This, I believe, will be a case worthy of intellect! Hmm…yes…"

"Let me get this straight…" began the business rat. "So, what we know so far…is that we don't know who the culprit is… and uh, I guess that's about it, right?"

"Aw, this scene is for total squares! Forget you guys! I'm going back to my room!" complained Zip Toad, starting to stomp off.

"Hrrrrrmph! You there! In a bit of a hurry to get back to your room, eh! You, sir, are highly suspicious!" accused Pennington again. "I have just broken this case! The true culprit, I believe…is Zip Toad, the actor!"

The waitress, still pretty cheesed, came to the defense. "Zip Toad. THE _Zip Toad_? _Noooooooooo _way, Mr. Detective-Person! You're just making stuff up! You…tweedy geezer!"

Pennington was stunned. "Tweedy…geezer…**GEEZER**?"

Several people couldn't help but chuckle at Pennington's fury.

"I can't say I deserved such a verbal thrashing, but…well then…Who DID do it, hm? Hrrrrrmph! This puzzle deepens with every confounding step…"

"This is really sad…don't they know that there's a trail of soup right over there?" Koops asked.

"Where?"

"It's that stain trail of soup leading out of the car over there! They're like footprints!"

Spike looked highly repulsed. "_Nasty!_ I almost stepped in it!"

"Then let's…" Link pulled out a magnifying glass. "…solve a mystery!"

He followed the tracks on the floor, everyone following him. He crashed into the door leading out of the car, opened the door, continue to follow the trail…leading straight into Cabin 3: home of the really chunky Toad. How obvious.

"It was so him…" Samus groaned, stepping inside.

"Whoawhoawhoawhoa! What do you want?" he instantly screamed, getting on the defensive.

"He's guilty! Slap the cuffs on him!" Kirby demanded. "You can see the guilt building in his eyes!"

"Calm down Kirby, we're not 'slapping cuffs' on anyone!"

"Yeah!" Sonic agreed. He then turned to the Toad. "Why'd you steal the stew pot from the kitchen? ! Talk, or else!"

_"I_ wanted to say that!" complained Kirby

"Well _you're_ too slow!"

"Oh, I get it! Food gets stolen and you blame the chubby guy. NOT NICE!" the Toad shouted.

"There are gross drops of stew outside the door leading in here, you know…" Goombella sated, obviously disgusted.

"N-no…I wouldn't know anything about that! No! People spill stuff! And there's nothing in the drawer, so don't look there!"

Mario: Looks in drawer.

He shuffled the tons of gourmet magazines around and found the pot- licked clean!

"Ha! Evidence!"

"Doh! …. I'm sorry! I ate it all! It was MEEEEEE!"

"Well, obviously!" Samus grunted.

"Or maybe just because we're such expert detectives!" snickered Ms. Mowz sarcastically.

**Moments Later-**

Mario had called up Pennington, and the detective penguin was over there in a slide.

"So! You were so enamored of the stew that you wanted to steal it to devour more?" Pennington deduced. "And you stole the entire pot when the chef was chopping shallots? Answer!"

"Yes…yes, that's right…I'm so sorry, but it was a brief moment of weakness! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

"Justice has been served! Very satisfying! May this terrible crime never recur!" he then glanced at Mario. "And you, my dear sir…yes, you with the unkempt facial hair! My keen sleuthing instincts identified you as the correct person to collar the ruffian! You and your team! Now, about that note in your room…"

"It was _so_ terrifying!" wailed Kirby and Koops.

"Eh, not really. More like an invitation to a delicious death," shrugged Sonic. "Probably a jelly bomb or something."

"How do you know we had a note anyway?" questioned Spike. "You may be a detective, and part defective, but not psychic!"

"As the lone detective on this train, the conductor confided in me. But we cannot speak here. Find me in room 6 so that we may discuss this in private…"

"Which is also our room!" Sonic and Spike called.

Pennington gave a tip of his hat and waddled on out. Before he exited, he reminded them to please return the pot to the chef. Mario said they would, and Pennington left for real.

**Room 6, After Retuning Licked-Clean Pot-**

"Darn. I was hoping he'd make more stew!" Kirby complained as they entered. "That seemed like a really good recipe…"

"Ah-ha! I have been waiting!" Pennington exclaimed. "I was rather impressed with your work on this last case, I must admit!"

"What are you talking about? We followed a trail of soup obviously leading to Chub B. Toad and found the missing pot! Anyone could have done it!" stated Samus.

"Don't ruin his enthusiasm, Sam. He's praising us!" Sonic called, lying on the top bunk-his bed.

"However, I do not think the one you apprehended is our, sticky, yummy, malcontent…I have deduced from the lack of incriminating clues in his room…In any case, I must say…I believe you have a certain knack for detective work. So it is decided then! I shall take you on as my assistants!"

Kirby jumped into the air. "Hooray!"

"That's not necessarily a good thing…" Vivian trailed.

"What do ya mean by that? Maybe we'll get free food!"

"We already _do_ get free food!"

"…YEAH!"

Pennington couched to continue. "To reiterate, my name is Pennington. I am a detective from Poshley Heights. I am known in some circles as "The Penguin With the Improbably Large Brain".

"That must be a large circle…" Link chuckled, until he caught Pennington glaring. "It was a joke! I'm an idiot like that!"

"I am sure you have heard of me, so that is all I will say on the subject. And as for your names…Wait! I demand you do not tell me. I shall deduce your identity!" he looked over Mario first. "That mustache…that nose…Ho ho ho! All too easy! You, sir, are quite obviously the famed Luigi, are you not?"

Mario: No way!

"No need to introduce yourself! I know all about the famed Luigi!" he chuckled. "As for the rest of your little group…" he pointed at Link. "Those ears tell all! You're plainly Malon! And you…" he turned to Kirby. "…are Meta Knight! That small, round figure is a dead give-away!"

"Oh yeah! And _I'm_ Miles Prower!" snorted Sonic. Pennington stomped his foot.

"I told you not to tell me, Miles!"

Sonic's face fell. "You've gotta be kidding me. He just mistook us for Team Luigi!"

"I look **nothing** like Meta Knight!" "I am NOT a girl!"

Samus then smirked. "Can you guess _my _name? Quite obviously you can't!"

"How many time have you said "obviously" or "obvious" now?" Link asked. Samus gave him a look as Pennington thought it over.

"Hmm…you are tough indeed…by joe! I've got it! You're Samus! Nice to meet you, my dear boy!"

Sonic burst out cackling. "He got the name right, but the gender wrong! _Ha_!"

Samus' eyes lit up in fire behind her helmet. Said helmet flew off and exposed Samus' blonde ponytail, bangs, and angry feminine face. Pennington realized his grave mistake and flinched while Samus raised her cannon. Link yelped and scrambled to save the penguin.

"Take it easy there Samus…he didn't know!"

"yes, **please **take it easy Samus-"

"Quiet you! Finish what you need to say, and I'll think about sparing you!"

Pennington gulped, nodded, and returned his attention to Mario- I mean, 'Luigi'. "Now, about this threat…Our man has declared his intent to yummify the train…a sticky, tasty explosion…That family of Bob-ombs! They are definitely suspects! Now, Luigi, Malon, Miles, Meta Knight,…and Samus…We will reduce this case to rudimentary facts and deduce the truth!"

"So we investigate that Bob-omb family? No problem!" Sonic stated, jumping out of bed. then he did a double take when he glanced out the window. "Man, it's evening already!"

"I knew the three days would fly by fast!" Samus added.

**Bob-omb Room, Cabin 8-**

"No, no, NO dear!"

"…Are you even listening? "

"We must think more about…"

"That's what I'm saying!

Silvia was saying that they should get Bub something educational for his birthday, while Goldbob wanted to go over the top and buy a house or a car.

"I don't want any of the stuff they're talking about…" muttered Bub. Mario cocked his head and walked over. "Hey Mister…Are you a detective now that you quit being a fighter?"

Mario: You could say that…

"Ah, those were the days…" sighed Sonic.

"You? A fighter?" laughed Samus.

"Hey! I _happened _to be Champion!"

"Well, so…think you can detect what I want for my birthday?"

Kirby pulled out the magnifying glass. "I'm sure we can handle it!"

"Where do you guys keep pulling that thing from?" asked Vivian.

"The world may never know!"

Bub started to smile. "Really? Cool! OK, if you bring me what I really want, then I'll give you something in return!"

"May we at least get a couple clues?"

Bub thought it over. "Um…okay! All detectives need some kind of lead! It's a certain person's autograph!"

**Outside the Room-**

"Well, the kid said he wants an autograph…" Koops commented.

"Maybe he wants Zip Toad's!" exclaimed Vivian.

"But that jerk only gives it to "cute chicks", " Sonic pointed out.

"We could get Samus to take off her Power Suit!" suggested Link.

"Ha ha. Yeah, I don't think so."

"If only Bow was here…"

"One thing I heard was cute…" the conductor, eavesdropping not too far away, said. "That boy dreams of being an engineer one day!"

Everyone exchanged glances.

"I don't think Zip Toad has ever acted as an engineer before…"

**Engine Room, Moments Later-**

"I can't believe Pennington would suggest a _Game Boy Advance_ of all things…"

"Hi Mr. Engineer Guy!" Kirby called as they entered. "Can we have an autograph?"

"You want my autograph, sir?…Oh, it's for little Bub. Well, yes, of course!" he scribbled his name in fancy cursive letters and handed the paper to Mario. "Gosh…I never signed an autograph before! That felt fantastic!"

"It's gets a little repetitive after a while…" sighed Sonic.

"Now I want to sign one!" cried Kirby.

**Back at the Bomb Room-**

"Sooooo…did you being me the thing I want most?" Bub asked. Mario nodded and handed him to autograph. "Hey, yeah, bingo mister! That's just what I wanted! You're a great detective! Here's something for you, just like I said."

He pulled out a Shine Sprite, which Link received and thanked him a thousand times for.

"Thanks for the autograph. I'll take good care of it, I promise."

**Later that Night-**

All the passengers had gone to bed at this time. The dining area was closed (after Kirby had a hefty meal), the waitress went to bed, and the only ones still stirring were Mario, Samus half-way, Link, and Sonic. Kirby dozed off an hour before, and Samus was the one who put him to bed. She was currently in the bottom bunk while Ms. Mowz and Goombella were on the couch. Mario was anxious not to go to bed for some reason, and Sonic just didn't want to head into his room with Pennington. So, instead, he was with Link in Room 4.

"I don't like this room…there's something unnatural about it!" whimpered Koops on the couch. Link was lying wide awake in the top bunk, Bobbery was on the bottom, and Sonic was sitting on the edge of Link's bed. Link's perplexed expression finally got the best of Sonic.

"Okay, something's wrong, again. What is it?"

Link glanced up and raised an eyebrow. "What're you talking about?"

"That's your "something's not right" face."

Link stayed silent.

"I bet it's _Zelda_, isn't it?"

"…so…"

Sonic smirked as Bobbery asked who "Zelda" even was.

"She's the princess of the world Link comes from!" Koops explained. "She's also one of the kidnapped trio!"

"And I _happen_ to be worried, okay?" Link grumbled.

"Maybe you just _miss her_!" sang Sonic. Link made a face and turned over.

_"That too…"_

"you know, now I'm feeling that way about Koopie Koo…"

"Ms. Mowz is next door-"

"Shut up!"

"Aye, this is reminding me a little of Scarlette too…"

"But no one's like Zelda. She's smart, beautiful, and…and…"

"So right for you that there's no words to describe!" Bobbery finished. Link nodded.

"Weird how everyone in this room has a love life…" sighed Sonic. It was Link's turn to smirk.

"Hm, are you saying Amy's your girlfriend?"

"NO, I just- I mean, she just thinks she's my girlfriend and I'm tired of arguing with her but I certainly don't agree with her decision but I guess I'm okay with it-"

"Excuse me, Mister?" the Conductoad asked, now suddenly in room. Sonic yelped and toppled onto the floor.

"Ow…what's up?"

"Well, first off you need to be in your room."

"Sorry. I was just leaving."

"Good. Two, there seems to be a…shortage of blankets. I know I counted right, and I even made sure this morning, but its come to pass that you're missing a blanket."

Sonic dusted himself off. "Well, I'll head back to my room and check. I guess I can't avoid Pennington anymore…"

"Now I feel unsafe! What if that weird feeling isn't just a feeling anymore?" Koops whispered.

"I'm here," grumbled Link in his sleep.

"I have to get back to my post. If you have any info, Sonic, then please report to the very back of the train."

Sonic gave a nod and sped out.

**Meanwhile-**

"Mario, will you _please_ quit shifting about?" Samus complained, tired of the noise above her. Mario apologized and said he thought something was wrong.

"…well, I still need to sleep, ya know."

Mario: So do I!

"Well, go out there and go find your problem! Everyone's sleeping anyway!"

Mario: Come with me!

"Why?"

Mario: Just do it.

"Fine! Sheesh, I'll never get any sleep now…" Samus mumbled, swinging out bed as Mario jumped down. The moment they stepped out the door, Samus was bulldozed over by Sonic.

"Gah! _What're you doing?"_ Samus and Sonic shrieked. Sonic had landed on Samus, and was about to spring off, but Samus had kicked him into the wall faster than even _he_ could move. Mario stood in the doorway trying not to laugh.

"Ugh, **why **are you still awake Sonic?" Samus snapped. Sonic took three steps back and folded his arms.

"Hmph! I should ask you the same thing! And no nickname, Sam?"

"I'm not in the mood. Now, let me rephrase the question: why aren't you in your room?"

"I was _heading_ there until you decided to step out and strut right into me!"

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Mario! He's saying something's wrong or whatever…"

"The only thing amiss is that I apparently don't have a blanket, and the Conductoad gave them all away after counting them all out precisely. Wanna help me figure all this out?"

"Might as well- I'm already wide awake now after being rammed over!"

"I'm sorry, okay? Now, let's get going!"

**Back of the Train-**

Sonic took a peek in his room, and, as expected, he didn't have a blanket. He sighed and joined Mario and Samus talking to the Conductoad.

"Mr. Mario! I'm glad you spoke to me! I just remembered something suspicious! I found myself one blanket short when I was handing them out to the passengers. I gave the last passenger my own blanket to make up for it, but it's vexing…"

Sonic nodded and held up a blue blanket labeled "Conductoad". "Yeah, I knew this blanket on the table wasn't for me. I'll find my own blanket, if you don't mind."

"I have exact blanket counts," he continued to explain after taking his blanket back. "It means someone came on board without a ticket! That stowaway just might be your suspect, Mario…"

"Hm. Maybe this was worth looking into after all…" Samus trailed.

"Of course it is! I'll be cold all night!" Samus stared at Sonic. "Kidding! Sheesh, I feel like Link…"

"can you guys figure this all out?"

Mario: Call us Blanket P.I.!

"Honestly? Great, thanks!, I have to keep watch here, but I'll be waiting for the good news!"

So, after that, they checked all the rooms in the Blue Car, skipped the dining room, even checked Mario's room and Chub B's Room, but they had all the blankets they needed. The suspicious thing was actually Link, Koops, and even Bobbery screaming. At first, the three had ignored it, but there was no pause in the noise that was bound to wake up the entire train and they knew that they needed to put a stop to it.

"What's going on?" Samus boomed, nearly kicking the door down. Bobbery just pointed at the table, Koops kept screaming lightly, and Link attempted to explain.

"W-Well, the Conductoad left our blankets here, right? And I passed them out and realized one blanket had one folded inside it, which was p-probably Sonic's blanket…"

"Go on…"

"…I-I was going to go give it to you, but it suddenly disappeared out of my hands and we've been freaking out ever since!"

"So my blanket just…vanished?" Sonic asked. Link meekly nodded.

"I knew there were bad vibes in this room!" shrieked Koops.

"Interesting. I'll be right back…" Samus trailed, briefly exiting the room. When she came back, she had her Power Suit on, her helmet in place, and was scanning the area.

"…yep, there's definitely something other than us in here."

Koops cried bloody murder until Bobbery shushed him with a pillow.

"I bet whoever, or whatever it is, is hiding in here!" Link exclaimed. "We'd easily be able to coax it out with Vivian, but she's asleep along with Kirby…"

"Lucky them!" muttered Samus. "However, the question is how do we do this without Vivian!"

"Well, I have a plan, but first we all need to get out-" Sonic started. Koops sprang off his couch and was out the door within the same second. Everyone else exited also.

**Outside the Door-**

"Okay, we'll all wait here, then Samus can scan the room again. If she says the…whatever is out and about, we'll open the door slightly, I'll sprint in there, and knock them out!" Sonic explained.

"That's a stupid plan!"

"Do you have anything better, Sam? Or would you like to be the one to wake Vivian up?"

Samus muttered something nasty under her breath before booting up her scanning program. She crouched down, got as close to the floor as she could, and started to scan.

"I can't believe we're doing this for a blanket…" she grumbled.

"Is the monster out yet?" Koops quivered. Samus nodded.

"It's in the middle of the room. Do your thing, Sonic."

Sonic nodded and turned to Link. "Okay, you're going to count to three. When you say "Two", you open the door!"

"Why two?"

"You'll see…"

"Uh…one, two-" Link started to open the door. "Three!"

Sonic had already take three steps and was entering the room the moment Link fully had the door open.

"GIVE ME MY BLANKET, FIEND!" he cried, tackling the form in the middle of the room. Samus jumped in too and pointed her cannon at whatever was screaming. Mario, Bobbery, and Link joined in, with Koops borrowing Link's sword and shield.

"Okay Sonic! Get off!"

Sonic jumped away from whatever he had wrestled to the ground, revealing it was a ghost.

"…So you've found me…" the ghost said spookily. "…A bit brutally, if I must say!"

Sonic scratched the back of his head. "Uh, sorry?"

"He's been rambunctious all night, you know," snickered Samus.

"I can't believe you guys are talking to a ghost!" cried Koops.

"I'm cursed to haunt this place. A blanket? Well, yes the conductor left an extra one in this room, so I decided to take it."

"What about a yummy, sticky threat?" questioned Bobbery.

"No, I left no such thing. I can't even hold psychical things like pen and paper!"

"However, you are pretty solid since I could tackle you like that!" Sonic pointed out. "Well, anyway, can we just have the blanket?"

"Well, I'll tell you where it is if you do something for me…"

"That depends on what it is."

Ghost T. just shrugged. "All I need is…YOUR LIFE!"

"OH PLEASE NO!" shouted Koops, falling to the floor and begging.

"Nah, I don't think my life is worth a blanket..."

The ghost just started cracking up.

"…No, just kidding…Actually, I passed away in this car many years ago…right on that couch, too!"

Koops turned white.

"But I think my luggage is still in the baggage car here. Inside my bag is a diary I kept since my earliest childhood days…and my fear that someone would find it and read it has kept me tied to this world! I can't leave this room, so would you please find it and bring it here? If you do that, I'll show you where the blanket is."

Mario nodded and started to leave.

"…and don't you even DARE read my diary! Because if you do… ho ho ho ho…a horrible fate awaits you…"

"In that case, we'll leave Link here," Samus stated, walking out.

"Oh yeah, no offense in that! You don't think I can mind my own business, can you?"

"No. See you later!"

"The nerve!"

"I'll stay with Link 'ere," Bobbery said. Koops was gripping his blanket for dear life.

"I can't believe I slept where a dead man once was…oog…"

"Well, suck it up. That's still your bed."

**Entrance to Luggage Car-**

"We found the blanket! Kinda!" Sonic announced. "A ghost has it!"

"WHAAAT? A GHOST! EEEEEKKK!" the Conductoad screamed. Mario quickly explained the situation. "A-And…he won't give the blanket back unless you get his diary out of the luggage car?"

"That about sums it up!" Samus said.

"I see…well, go on in! You don't say no to ghosts!"

He stepped out of the way, allowing entrance to the forbidden car. Sonic stepped in and took a look around.

"Okay…now, where is this guy's diary?"

Mario walked passed him to a crack in-between two crate, where a book could be seen behind them. He went paper thin, slipped through the crack, collected the diary, and was on his way.

"…that was simple."

Samus pouted. "I was hoping we'd have to scale a wall or something!"

**BACK at Room 4-**

"I can keep a secret…I can read that book!"

"If you read my diary, I'd kill you. Literally."

"…never mind- who am I to go through people's privacy? Ha ha, _not_ me!"

"We're BAAAAACK!" Sonic announced, Mario tossing the book to the ghost.

"Yea, this is my diary. Very well, your blanket it right here…" he gave Sonic his blanket (somehow), causing the hedgehog to cheer happily.

"Great, can we go to bed now?" Samus asked.

"We've gotta tell the conductor we got it!" Sonic replied.

"You can do that on your way back to your room."

"Now I can go peacefully on from this world…That you so much. You will probably never meet me again in this world…fare thee well…"

A light shone in through the ceiling, and the ghost in Cabin 4 started to rise into the next world. Koops was secretly thankful he was leaving. Just as he reached the top, he came back down.

"Awwww…" moaned the koopa.

"…Well actually, maybe not. I've been here so long, I've kinda gotten used to it. The wallpaper's so great. Maybe I'll stay here just a little while longer. I can leave whenever, so…that's all there is to it. Hoo hoo hoo hoooo…"

"Well joy. Samus is going to bed…Peace!"

She walked out the door and headed into her room. Link yawned and climbed back into his bunk. Bobbery slid into the bottom one, and Koops placed his blanket on the couch before lying on it. Mario yawned, waved to Sonic, and headed out too. Sonic took his blanket and sped off.

**Blue Car-**

"So, Mr. Sonic, how did it go?" The Conductoad asked.

"Please, just call me Sonic. And I got my blanket back, no worries!"

"Thanks! Here's a gesture of my thanks!"

He tossed Sonic a regular Mushroom and wished him good night. Sonic gave a nod in response, entered his room, and was tackled by Pennington- HUH?"

"Ha ho! I KNEW you were up to some suspicious activity in this fine night!" he accused.

"What are you talking about? Get off me!"

"Ha! Not likely, my mischievous roommate. Now, what's in your hands?"

Sonic groaned and looked at Spike on the couch, wishing he could've kicked Pennington out of his spot.

"He's been mumbling about what the heck you were up to, and I gave up with sleep…"

"Look, all I have is a Mushroom and a blanket, so you can back off and let us all go to sleep! You can even keep the Mushroom!"

He gave the Bumpity the Shroom before hopping into his bed and curling up with the blanket. Spike sighed and attempted to go back to sleep. Pennington blinked, put the Shroom away for breakfast, then crawled back into bed.

Minutes later, he was talking in his sleep.

* * *

**First day done! And I didn't seperate it into chapters because they'd be way too short! :D And...i know Chub B. isn't the real name of that Toad, but that's the first thing that came to mind when I saw him. xD**


	61. The Second Day of Excessive Events

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 60: The Second Day of Excessive Events

The next morning, the second day of the voyage began- obviously. Mario was the first to wake up, if you don't count Goombella already being awake. Samus was still sound asleep, but Mario knew she'd be awake momentarily. He quietly climbed out of bed, motioned for Goombella to follow him, and checked up on the group in Cabin 4. Link and Bobbery were snoring loudly, and Koops looked like he had seen a ghost- which he did. He couldn't get to sleep knowing a spirit was in the room, and his eyes were really dark. Goombella cringed as Mario motioned for Koops to come anyway. When they left that room, Samus was tiredly standing in the doorway with her Power Suit on, but not her helmet.

"Ugh…I'm not a morning person, but I can never seem to sleep in…" she muttered. Mario grinned and headed to the dining car, cuing Samus to follow. When they entered, they saw Kirby bright and awake, stuffing his face with every breakfast food known to man. Vivian was sitting on the opposite side of the table, staring wide-eyed at his intake.

"Hi guys! Some night, huh? I had _so_many dreams! The business rat told me a story! And today, I heard from the waitress that she lost some shell earrings, and that mean lady in Cabin 2 had a gold ring stolen! Sonic's also not awake yet- you've _gotta_ try this Danish! YUM! YUM!"

"Okay, what did I say about eating over 5 donuts?" Samus sighed in question form. Kirby looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Uh-"

"It makes you jittery! Now, eat two pieces of toast to balance it out- we're going to check the rest of the cars, okay?"

Kirby nodded. "Okay! Come right back though!"

Mario nodded and left the dining car. As soon as Samus was out of sight, Kirby stuffed his eighth donut in his mouth, then started on his two pieces of toast.

**Room 6-**

As Mario, Samus, Goombella, and Koops entered Pennington and Sonic's room, they were surprised to see the business mouse talking to Pennington while Sonic looked like something out of a cave and Spike was actually still sleeping. Sonic looked down at his group and moaned loudly.

"…Pennington talked all night. I swear, I only got an hour and half of sleep, and I gave my only pair of earmuffs to Spike because I'm _such_ a good person!"

"What're they talking about now?" asked Goombella.

Sonic shrugged. "Flurrie said she heard something in the middle of the night when they woke up, and when business mouse over there checked, he found some of his belongings gone…listen to _them_, not me!"

The attention was turned to the two in the middle discussing the very subject.

"Ah, my dear Luigi!…and Samus…your timing is impeccable! A new case has arisen! Now then, Mr. Business Man, please explain the facts to my assistants, Luigi, Miles…and Samus...!"

The business man trembled with every word. "Ok, Ok, here's the deal…When I woke up this morning, my briefcase was gone! It contained all the all the contracts for our next deal, and even our new product prototype! If I don't recover it, I'll lose my job at the LEAST!"

"Now now, calm yourself. The next part is vital. So tell Luigi very slowly…" Pennington requested. Mario sighed.

"Of course, of course…our company's new product is "Nitro Honey Syrup"…used properly, it's an amazing product that can even raise the dead…but if mixed with the calcium with a seashell and a bit of gold…Well, then! The results are EXPLOSIVE! The resulting goo-blast would immobilize everyone here in a sticky, yet yummy, shellac! If its fallen into the wrong hands…well, I could lose more than my job!"

"Why would you leave something so important in a briefcase?" Sonic pondered. "Doesn't seem very smart…"

Pennington started up again. "Let's examine the facts, shall we? Someone has stolen your briefcase…though you definitely had it yesterday…and the train has not stopped in the intervening time… I HAVE IT! Rudimentary, my dear Luigi! Rudimentary! The thief is still on the train!….ah-ha. Luigi! Have you spoken to the waitress and the lady in Cabin 2?"

"No, but we heard that-"

"They have both lost something on this train! The waitress lost Shell Earrings…and the lady, Toadles, lost a Gold Ring! Luigi, if the same person who stole those objects also has the Nitro Honey Syrup…They could make this goo-blast! They can carry out the threat in the note!"

"So if the same person is the one and only evil culprit, that does make things slightly easier…" Samus realized.

"We must apprehend this suspect before this dastardly plan is put into effect!" Pennington finished dramatically. Everyone started at him. "…what?"

Sonic just shook his head, jumped down, pulled the earmuffs off Spike and poked him. "Get up, Champ. There's lives on the line."

"Yawn…whatever…"

**Dining Car-**

"How much more can you eat, Kirby?" Vivian gaped. Kirby gave a small hiccup and shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm literally a bottomless pit."

"Kirby! You have to help us and- you're stilleating?" Koops gaped.

"That's what I said…" sighed Vivian.

"Not anymore…why? What's goin' on?"

"The sticky, yummy threat might be carried out! Apparently the gold and seashell are a part of the plot!" Goombella explained. Kirby placed a hand under his chin.

"Hmm…then that obviously rules the waitress and Toadles out for being the thieves, since their items were stolen, along with the business man! It wasn't Pennington, because he'd probably give himself away, it wasn't the Bob-ombs, because we already talked to them, wasn't the ghost because he can't hold psychical objects though somehow obtained his diary…I don't think Heft T. (aka Chub B.) could pull off such a crime…and the engineer, Chef Shimi, and Conductoad were at their posts at all times…and none of us obviously did it…so that leaves-"

"Zip Toad!" everyone around cried. Kirby struck a pose.

"I am such a genius!"

"I don't know how you do it Kirby, but I'm glad you do!" Samus chuckled.

"Shouldn't we wake up Bobbery and Link before we confront that low-life?" Flurrie asked, appearing from nowhere.

"That might be a good idea…" Sonic agreed.

**Cabin 4-**

"Daydream believer and a homecoming queen…" Link sang dreamily in his sleep. Bobbery yawned and hopped out of bed just as the rest of the group arrived. He froze, stared at them, then motioned to Link still sleeping away. Mario wanted to find a simple way to wake him up while Samus just grabbed his leg and dragged him out of the room.

"Don't worry- he'll wake up when we get there…" she assured.

**Cabin 1-**

"hey…he's gone!" cried Spike. "I hope that two-timer jumped out the window!"

"There is another piece of paper on the ground…" Sonic said, picking it up. "…I can't read it. It's too vital, important, and complicated!"

"It's one of Mr. Business Man's papers!" Kirby yelped. "Zip Toad is the criminal!"

"Question is, where is he…" pondered Ms. Mowz, arriving the same time Flurrie did.

"Hey! What the- how'd I get here?" Link exclaimed, getting off the floor. "I demand a explanation!"

"I dragged you out of bed. Now help us stop the sticky yummy threat," Samus replied bluntly.

"Shouldn't we show it to Pennington and Business mouse just to make sure?"

"Fine, more backtracking…"

**Cabin 6-**

"Have you stumbled upon any new clues?" Pennington asked when they returned. Mario nodded and showed them the paper. "What sort of clue is _this_ supposed to be?"

Business Mouse shrieked. "Ack! Th-That's one of the contracts for my upcoming business deal!"

"_What?_ I mean, Yes! Just as I suspected!"

"Yeah right."

"Luigi…where did you find this very important clue?"

"It was in Zip Toad's room!" Link answered.

Pennington shook his magnifying glass at Link quite violently. "I wasn't asking you, Malon! I was asking Luigi!"

Mario: Cabin 1

"Cabin 1, you say…Yes…Zip Toad's room. A place I have long suspected! Come to think of it, I do not believe I have seen him today…then perhaps he's hiding somewhere on the train. Always one step ahead! Very well, Luigi…find that Zip Toad!"

"He's not hiding in his room, that's for sure," Samus announced.

"How would you know that?"

"I scanned it last time we were in there. Always two steps ahead!"

Pennington frowned.

"He wasn't in the Dining Car! I would've seen him!" Kirby exclaimed.

"…and the Conductoad would've seen him in the last car…" trailed Sonic.

"He's in the last room we'd expect!" Link concluded.

"The bathroom?"

"No, worse…"

**Cabin 4-**

"Mario's room!" Link stated. Samus turned on her scanner and gasped.

"He is in here…really creepy…"

"And here's another document on the floor!" Ms. Mowz pointed out.

"All right Vivian! Use your power!" Kirby called. Vivian nodded.

"Everyone gather around!"

Everyone did and she pulled them into the shadows. After waiting a few seconds, Zip Toad peeked out of his hiding place- which you could tell he had swapped constantly.

"Ah-HA! YOU'RE BUSTED, BUSTER!" Kirby shouted when they reappeared.

Zip Toad jumped up and yelped. "ZOW! Where'd you come from? You won't be catching me that easily guys!"

He started spring around the room, laughing all the way. Samus yawned and pointed her cannon upwards.

"Leave this to me guys…" she turned to Zip Toad, targeting his small toad body. "Hey, Zit Toad! Say cheese for the cannon!"

She blasted one of her feared missiles, knocking him straight out of the air. He toppled onto the floor with a very loud "YOWCH!"

**That Evening-**

"So, thiswas our man all along! Pretending to be Zip Toad, I see…" Pennington snapped to the imposter. He and the businessman arrived in Mario and Samus' room to take care of the culprit. "All the while pilfering things from others to aid your evil plan…hmm…yes, this all as I had deduced! I knew all along you were a fake! A discolored nose hair was what tipped me off!"

"Oh please…"

"And not only that, but I knew you were the one who threatened Luigi, Malon, Miles, Meta Knight…and Samus…!"

"Curses! I almost got away with it by getting off at Riverside Station too…" 'Zip Toad' complained.

"If it weren't us meddling kids, and our dumb penguin too!" Link cackled.

"…Yes, you played a daring an ingenious little game, my false friend, but the jig is up, and the good people of this train are now safe. That is correct, sir! No one escapes from this Improbably Large Brain!"

"Do you even know what 'improbably' means?" snapped the bad guy.

"…Ahem, well, yes, in any case…at least return what you have stolen, fink."

"Bleah…"

He gave Mario the ring, shell earrings, and the suitcase, which Mario gave back to the Business Man.

"Our rendezvous with disaster was defused by…my most rudimentary of deductions!"

"More like Kirby's deductions, Probably Large Loser…"

BING! BONG! BING! BONG! Attention passengers! The train will make a brief scheduled stop at Riverside Station.

**Riverside Station-**

The train pulled into the station, when the rather large sun was setting in the bright orange sky. 'Zip Toad' and Pennington were the first ones off, Pennington ready to serve justice.

"Hey, I think not Slick! You think you can hold me? No way! Beldam would flip if I let that happen!" he transformed into Doopliss, making the Ticket Toad and Pennington flip out. "This whole Zip Toad thing was just a means to an end! It's me, suckers! Doopliss! Beldam's plan to bag Mario didn't exactly work out, so I'll be cutting and running now! I'll leave the rest to Beldam! See ya, suckers!"

He hopped away, the two still flapping their arms around like they saw a ghost- but, well, it was a fake ghost sheet, I suppose…

. . . . .

"Ah, Riverside! And such a beautiful scene!" Kirby sighed. "Bow would love it here…"

"I'm just glad we gave back the Earrings and the ring to their rightful owners!" Goombella exclaimed.

"Girls and their jewelry…"

"Hey…what's going on?"

There was a bunch of commotion scattered like the people around the station. They talked to the Ticket Toad, who was standing by a raised bridge.

"Someone's lifted the drawbridge! The train can't leave the station like this!…I did see a suspicious-looking shadowy person wearing a hat go into the station…he must've gone down to the bridge control room to flip the switch there…"

"My sister…" groaned Vivian. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was her!"

"But the switch hasn't been used in so long, I don't know where the control room is…so, um, it's probably against protocol to ask a passenger to do this…since you ARE the famous Mario and all, can you go find and throw that switch?"

Mario: Sure thing!

"Really? That would be super! Well, here's the station key!"

Mario received the Station Key. He led his team up the stairs to the large green door and removed the lock from it.

"The toad said that whoever flipped the switch went "down" into the control room…" Kirby pondered. "…which means we must have to go down!"

"The only way to do that is to go down this elevator, but its all locked up…" Vivian realized, struggling to get it to move. Samus looked around and pointed her cannon at a door to their right.

"Maybe the key to the elevator is that way or something!"

"It's worth a shot!"

They entered the next room, where Mario instantly rolled up into tube form and hit a switch hidden under a staircase- well, where the staircase was supposed to be. It appeared after he hit the switch.

"All right, up or forward?" Spike asked.

"If Mario just made the stairs appear, I assume they have at least some type of significance compared to the other way in which we must take," Kirby exclaimed.

Everyone: O.O?

"Well c'mon! The faster we do this, the faster we can eat dinner!…besides, the other door's locked."

Everyone: Phew!

"How do we always miss the "door is locked" fact?"

With Kirby's insightful insight, they went up. Once they entered, a dusty Ruff Puff noticed them and instantly floated for then.

"Well what do you know? I was almost afraid we wouldn't be fighting!" Samus exclaimed, holding up her cannon. "It makes my vacation perfect, that's for sure!"

She blasted a Super Missile in the direction of the Puff, sending it flying into a wall, defeated. Samus snickered while the rest of the team exchanged glances.

"…that hasn't changed…" Link sweat dropped. Samus just blew remaining smoke off her cannon and glanced up.

"Hmm…there's some gears up there. If we time it right, I think we can get across."

"Or I could just float over there!" Kirby suggested.

"No…it'd be too easy then!"

Kirby folded his arms and pouted. Mario was actually taking that into consideration on what to do when he was sudden rammed by another Ruff Puff that Samus hadn't seen. It called it back-up, resulting in 3 Puffs in all.

"These are just like in Flower Fields," Link stated as Mario jumped on the first. Goombella headbonked the same one, putting it out of commission. The second charged up, radiating bolts of electricity, while the other dashed into Mario. Link Jabbed the sparking cloud, and Bobbery blew up in the other's face.

"I have a feeling this will be bad…" Bobbery muttered.

"What are you talking about-"

The electrified Puff unleashed a deadly bolt of lightning upon each of them, taking away 5 HP. The other Puff plowed into Link, but Bobbery managed to guard against it.

"My turn!" Sonic cried before jumping up and throwing himself at the not-shocking-anymore Puff. It was felled, and Spike took care of the other one with a Ground Pound.

"I didn't get to fight anything…" Kirby pouted.

"Fine, to make up for it, you can take Mario and Koops across the weird gear puzzle!" Samus replied.

"Why Koops?" Vivian asked. Samus shrugged.

"I just have a feeling…"

With a "Hooray!", Kirby grabbed Mario who grabbed Koops and started to float over the gears. Normally, they were pretty simple, but if it made Kirby happy, no one complained. The trio landed at a brief dead end, until Mario went tube and rolled them under a tight spot.

"Okay, now what?" Koops asked, striking a karate pose. Mario jumped onto a gear, climbed on a rotating platform, and landed on a strange shaped piece of wood, with a little plank leading to a green key behind a wall that moved up and down. He motioned for Koops, so Kirby helped him up there, and Mario shot the koopa at the right time to retrieve the Station Key.

"All right!" Kirby cheered, slapping Mario a high five.

"I feel awesome now!" Koops rejoiced. "I can do ANYTHING!"

"You still can't fly."

"That's on the To-Do list."

Kirby took the key and showed it to the rest of the gang.

"We got the key! We can go forward now!"

**Locked Door Downstairs**-

As a happy Kirby unlocked the door and opened it, Spike poked his head through.

"Whoa! Check out that sunset!"

Everyone shoved and pushed to get through the door, only to freeze at the sight of the nice view.

"it IS pretty!" Vivian exclaimed.

"First a big moon, now a big sun? What's next- big…planet?" asked Link.

"Good view aside…" Samus began, firing away at a nearby Poison Pokey, "…we still need to get the train moving. Let's roll."

Ms. Mowz suddenly sniffed the air. "Treasure is nearby…hmm…"

Link suddenly jumped over the edge, with a really loud thump, and located a Shrine Sprite.

"Another one for Link! Good job, Ms. Mowz!"

"Glad I could help?" she answered, following Samus and everyone else down the stairs.

"Who dives over the edge for a Shine Sprite?"

"Apparently Link…"

"I can't help that I have a new calling!"

"If your calling's been around since Keelhaul Key, then I suppose I understand."

"Thank you-wait, what?"

Samus interrupted Link by suddenly jumped in front of everyone. "Get back! This area's crawling with enemies!"

She knocked out two Ruff Puffs and a Poison Pokey, but a secret Pokey snuck up on her and turned her green. Kirby grinned and handed her a Tasty Tonic while Mario, Link, and Sonic took on the Pokey. The partners all helped when necessary.

"Eat some of this!" Goombella exclaimed, Tattling on the foe.

"That's not really threatening-"

"Of _course _it is! Having someone know everything about you is terrifying!"

"Well…now that THAT'S done…" Flurrie huffed. "…I believe I'll be taking care of business now…"

She floated over to the supposed dead end, and using her wind power, blew a whole mess of papers away to reveal a door. Mario gave her a thumbs up then lead everyone inside. They were attacked by a set of Spiky Parabuzzies, and then got stuck.

"Where do we go now? There's nothing here!" Spike complained.

"Scan the place, Samus!" Link ordered.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"Please?"

"Fine…let's see…there's a whole bunch of narrow passage ways below us, and I think I'm getting the reading for which one we should take…"

"If they're narrow passages, how are we supposed to take them?" asked Kirby. Samus pointed to Mario.

"His really cool ability- I mean, simply terrible curse that turns you into a tube would probably work. I might be able to squeeze through with my morph ball and check out the place…"

"All this high-gear talk hurts my ears…" Ms. Mowz mumbled. "Whatever happened to simple breaking and entering?"

Samus just sighed and transformed into a ball, slightly smaller than Sonic in spin dash form, but slightly larger than Mario in tube form. The entrance was pretty thin, but Samus' suit adapted and squeezed through anyway. Following the map she had downloaded, she realized where Mario needed to go.

"I got it!" she called. Samus returned through the small entrance and uncurled herself. Kirby shivered.

"I'll never know how you manage to do that…"

Mario went tube, and taking everyone with him, rolled down the first right path, then did a jump, missed the hole, and went down another zigzag path. They landed in a dumpster of some sort and were attack by another Poison Pokey.

"They never get enough, do they?" Sonic questioned, using Whirlwind on all the ones in the room. Spike swallow one and spat it into another, where Samus blasted what was left. A third one emerged out of nowhere, with Mario, Link, and Kirby smashing it to pieces. Koops shot his shell and cheered anyway.

"Sorry- we got carried away!" apologized Link.

"Next time, I'm using my fire for sure!" Vivian stated.

After the commotion settled down, Mario explained that they leveled up again. All 5 took HP, just like last time how they all took FP.

"Well that was sweet!"

Kirby trotted to the left, only to figure out that the stairs leading to where they really should've gone were…gone. Mario pointed to the right, where an orange spring sat. That obviously meant they had to do it again. Back on top, Mario rolled up again, went right, jumped, fell down the hole, fell again, went left instead of right (which would've led back to where they just came from) rolled up a narrow set of steps, rolled down two slopes, and finally ended up in the upper area.

"Yes! At last!" Link cried, jumping out of another dumpster and getting attack by a Spiky Parabuzzy. "Ow! That's just not fair!"

"I got it, Link," Samus assured, shooting it out of the air. Vivian snapped her fingers and set the enemy on fire, and Kirby finished it off with Final Cutter.

"Nothing like good ol' teamwork!" Sonic chuckled.

"You didn't even _do_ anything!" "There he goes with the teamwork again…"

"It was a **Spiky** Enemy- what was I supposed to do?"

Mario climbed out of the dumpster and spotted a very obvious door. He whistled for his team to get it together and entered. It was a storage room with a forgotten chair and left-behind boxes stacked upon one another. A fenced area sat in the corner, and the entry way to the inside of that was taped shut. In that area, was an ominous orange key.

"I bet that's the key to start the elevator!" Goombella supposed.

"We can't get up there yet though…"

"There's another door here!" Sonic pointed out. "Isn't this place really convenient?"

Mario shrugged and opened the door. Three Goombas-of all things- were running around like mad, but Samus, Spike, and Kirby took care of them easily.

"Goombas. I thought they were only for tutorials!" scoffed Link, not noticing Goombella give him a look. Three boxes in the middle of the room magically opened, revealing blue switches with numbers on them. One had a 1, one had a 3, and the last had a 10.

"Well THIS is difficult!" "What could it possibly mean?"

Mario sighed and hit the "1" switch once, the "3" switch 3 times, and the "10" switch ten times. Once that was finished, red stairs jetted out of the walls and led to a higher up area. Link, of course, spotted a Shine Sprite up there, and ran up to get it.

"Not this time!" Ms. Mowz chuckled, throwing a ninja star at the Shine Sprite box and obtaining it. Link froze in mid-climb and fell on the ground.

"How the…that's not even possible!"

"You being here shouldn't be possible!"

"OoOo-"

"Not now! Seriously, a ninja star?"

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve…"

Link just sighed, now that his Shine Sprite record had been shattered, and was dragged through the next door by Koops. They both fell after not having anything to step onto and landed on the pile of the other characters.

"Oh no! We're trapped!" Link yelped. "Hopefully that chest will have something that will get us out of here!"

Everyone glanced at Link. He just shrugged.

"It's most likely anyway…"

Mario pushed opened the chest, and acquired…the Ultra Boots! Sonic dug in the chest and got his Ultra Shoes!

"Yes!" Sonic cheered, kicking off his Super Shoes and putting on the Ultra ones. "Now I can use a Sonic Boom! Sweet! Just check these cool shoes OUT!"

"Sonic, again, they're the exact same as your first ones…"

"I can't wait to get my Ultra Upgrade!" Kirby said.

"We're not going to unless we get out of here…" trailed Vivian.

"That reminds me- what new trick does Mario have?" wondered Link. Mario told everyone to grab onto his legs while he crouched into a spring. Then, when everyone was ready, he shot up and grabbed a pole above their heads. Mario climbed to the right, since they couldn't go back the way they came and dropped them on the other side of the boxes.

"That was cool." "Totally."

Mario smirked and went paper thin, taking everyone down through a vent and landed back in the storage room.

"Excellent! Now Mario can use that pole to get the key!"

Mario: Uh-huh!

He asked Sonic to borrow Spike, then climbed on the boxes and fluttered to the other stack.

_"Man…"_ Mario thought. _"If I was Luigi, I could probably just jump over!"_

He sent Spike away, then Spring Jumped onto the pole and inched across. Once beyond the cage-or whatever it was- he Ultra jumped under the platform with the key and sent it flying over the fence and into Kirby's awaiting hands.

"We got the Elevator Key! Now we can go turn on the elevator!"

"Why do we keep sounding like we're in a video game that needs to explain everything?"

"…I have no idea."

**Elevator, Many Rooms Back-**

The team popped out of nowhere, thanks to Kirby's teleporting. However, Link returned with a missing arm.

"AUGH! KIRBY!"

"Sorry, my short-distancing still needs some work…"

Kirby snapped his fingers, and Link's arm returned.

"Whew! Thanks!"

Kirby gave a smile and put the Elevator Key into the slot.

Mario: You used the Elevator Key!

"Stop DOING that!"

Mario: Grins sheepishly

They all climbed into the rickety old elevator, going down several floors. When they emerged from the shaft, they were greeted by dark spongy things bouncing around.

"What are those?" Vivian gasped.

"Whatever they are, I'll protect you!" Kirby announced, jumping in front of her and holding out his hammer.

"They're like little monsters!" cried Spike.

"They're called Smorgs…" Goombella explained.

"Then that must be a _Smorg_asbord!" Link cackled.

"I think they're covering the switch!" Sonic called, performing his Action Chain on several of the dark creatures. Samus started firing at will, Mario and Kirby pounded things with their mallets, Link slashed and hacked, and the partners used their special abilities to fight too. Bobbery blew things up while Flurrie simply blew them away. Goombella just kept adding info to her book. Eventually, Samus landed an intense blow, and scared the creatures off.

"Eeee…those are super creepy…" she trailed. "And that's saying something, coming from me!"

Link grabbed and pulled the switch…only to open up the real switch on a higher ledge.

"Oh wow, that's lame…"

Mario jumped up there and hit THAT switch, truly making the bridge lower outside.

**Outside-**

"You did it, Mario!" the partners cheered when they all exited the station. The once lifted green bridge was down again, leading the way to Poshley Heights.

"Yay! This means we can eat dinner!" shrieked Kirby happily. Everyone raced back into the train, where the Ticket Toad could finally call "LET'S GOOOOOO!" and the Excess Express chugged forward once more.

**Back on the Train, Now Night-**

Bing! Bong! Bing! Bong! Attention all passengers! Thank you for riding the Excess Express. Our next stop will be our last, Poshley Heights.

Samus stretched out in her bed, all ready for sleep. "Isn't it great, Mario? Tomorrow we'll be at Poshley Heights and easily get that Crystal Star, huh?"

Mario: Oh yeah!

"Kirby sure ate a lot of steak tonight…but he probably won't get a stomach ache. And I also don't think its fair Sonic gets the Cabin that fake Zip Toad got to sleep in- I should be there!"

"He was supposed to get Cabin 2, you know…" Ms. Mowz muttered sleepily, not truly listening anyway.

"I know, but I bet Cabin 1 is better…" she then glanced up for a moment. "Hey Mario?"

Mario: ?

"You wanna know why I went off by myself at first?"

Mario: Okay.

"Well…I've always done things on my own after getting my Power Suit, but when I met Link, Sonic, and Kirby things changed. I was happy to be with someone other than myself. But the thing was, I wanted to go back to my old ways…just for a little while…but I took a really bad approach at it. If I simply said I'd like to separate, they'd never agree! Though yelling and causing a fight was a bit of a selfish move too…"

Mario stayed quiet. Quieter than usual, but that just mean he was listening.

"If I had known it was going to hurt everyone, I'd never consider it! It wouldn't be worth it, you know? And then I had to track down Ms. Mowz instead of ride this train, and every time I found her, you were there with them, and it was like you had magically cheered them up!" She turned over, shutting her eyes. "Thank you, Mario. Can you tell them I'm sorry? I don't think I can swallow my pride to do it myself…"

Mario leaned over the bed and gave a thumbs up, but Samus was already asleep. And for once, she was actually smiling.

* * *

**Ah, sorry for not updating yesterday. I've been cut off from internet all week... just to think if this was a boss weekend! *cough* which is next weekend already... *cough***


	62. Smorg: Smogging Up Everything

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 61: Smorg: Smogging Up Everything

Subtitle: A Third Day of Excessive Excess

**Day 3, Morning-**

When Mario and Samus woke up, it was like a normal day, except…there was something oddly eerie about it. They knew things like this were never easy, but there was always an exception!

…right?

"Ah, morning of a new day…I love it!" Samus said, oddly cheerfully. Mario hopped down from his bunk and nodded. "It's so cool and brisk too! I love that too!"

She made sure her Power Suit was out of sleep mode (or whatever) and the duo left the room. Goombella and Ms. Mowz woke up just in time to follow them.

"It's awfully quiet now…" Goombella noticed.

"It must still be really early…maybe our excitement got the best of us?" shrugged Samus. "I don't know- but I'm feeling like Kirby! I'm starving!"

Ms. Mowz put a paw to her chin. "I wonder if anyone else is awake yet…"

"Well, it's our last day of relaxation- let them sleep in!"

They entered the dining car, and realized that the waitress and Chef Shimi were missing, and the store was open, but no one was inside.

"That's so weird…food is always prepared bright and early! People are usually packed in there!" Samus exclaimed. "…and the waitress should be here…and Chef Shimi should be cooking…"

Mario shrugged, but in a concerned way, and opened the door to the store. The Store Toad was still sleeping, which added to the increasing weirdness.

"Hey pal! Wake up!" Goombella ordered. The Toad didn't move.

"This is terrible service! I'm complaining to the Conductoad!" stated Samus. They left the store and headed to the last car, but to their shock even more, the Conductoad wasn't at his post!

"This is simply out of control!"

Mario decided to take a peek in the Luggage Car. He tried to pull, but something wouldn't let him open it!

Samus gently pushed him to the side and started tugging like crazy.

"The door looks like it will open…but something's not letting us!" Goombella gasped. "Okay, this is really zonking me out."

"Yeah, especially if I can't open it!" agreed Samus, giving up. "Well…the engineer _has_ to be awake and running! After all, he's driving the train, isn't he?"

Mario: Right!

Samus held up her non-cannon hand. "I'll teleport us there!"

And with a snap, they were in the Engine Room.

**Engine Room-**

"Nice! I pulled it off!"

Mario smiled lightly, but all the odd happenings were boggling his mind. He led the fraction of his group up to the driver and attempted to explain what was happening.

"Ah, good morning sir. It's quite quiet this morning, wouldn't you say?"

"Too quiet, actually…" put in Ms. Mowz. Suddenly, a black spot appeared on the window. The engineer turned around and widened his eyes.

"Hm? Is there something on the windshield?" Before he could attempt to wipe it off, at least a thousand other similar "smudges" covered up the entire window.

"YAAARRRGGH! What are these things!"

"The Smorgs from yesterday! They must've stowed away on the train!" Mario, Samus, Goombella, and Ms. Mowz yelped while the engineer started to freak out.

"W-W-W-W-W-what s-s-s-s-s-should I d-d-d-do? Uh…f-f-f-f-f-first we have to ensure the p-p-p-passenger's s-s-s-safety! B-b-b-b-ut I have to k-k-k-keep driving the t-t-t-t-train…"

"You can't even see! What difference would it make?" asked Ms. Mowz.

"M-M-M-Mario…can you check on the passengers?"

Mario: Sure!

They rushed out and started their rounds. They checked Sonic and Spike's new room, but they were gone!

"Maybe they didn't swap after all?" Goombella said, trying to stay positive. Mario check Toadles' room, and she was gone too. Mario and Samus exchanged glances before running through the other rooms.

Chub B./Heft T.: Gone

Link, Koops, and Bobbery: Gone

Pennington, and apparently Sonic and Spike: Gone

Kirby, Vivian, Flurrie, and Mr. Business Mouse: GONE!

The Bob-ombs: GONE TOO!

"Oh, this is so terrible! Why were we the only ones spared?" whimpered Goombella.

"Should we try the Luggage Car again?" Samus asked. "I think it was those stupid Smorgs blocking the way!"

Mario: Worth a Shot!

Samus took a few steps back, then plowed right through the door to the Luggage Car. Mario jumped behind, striking a fighting pose. They looked and saw the area being bombarded by Smorgs.

"These things are inside the train now!"

"Let's get 'em!"

Samus instantly went cannon crazy while Mario swatted them with his Super Hammer. Ms. Mowz smacked a couple while Goombella provided some headbonks. Eventually, the waitress and the Conductoad jumped out of the mess and started shaking on the ground. The Smorgs shrieked out in their strange, twisted language and evacuated through an out-of-reach window.

"Ah, Detective Mario? You saved us again!" exclaimed the Conductoad.

The waitress voice shook when she spoke. "Hey, I must've been taken by those things when I was sleeping! Scary…"

"They seem to have come in through the baggage car through that open window! And they still have many of our paying passengers! Oh, those poor souls!"

"We'll get them back! Don't worry!" Samus stated. "Mario! Spring Jump up onto that red pipe!"

Mario started to crouch, Samus, Goombella, and Ms, Mowz grabbing his foot before he shot up and grabbed the pipe. He shuffled his way across until they could all safely land on a box.

"Let's go!"

Ms. Mowz scurried through the window, followed by Goombella, Mario, and Samus.

"Whoa…"

Smorgs clung to the train like a thick black coat. Mario climbed up and tried to walk his walk through, but was pushed back. Samus stepped up ,cannon ready.

"I'll handle this. You just stay close behind me!"

Mario, Goombella, and Ms. Mowz nodded. Samus jumped up and started recklessly shooting bullets, clearing a path in the Smorgs quite easily. Whenever they'd start coming back, Mario would bash them away.

"You freaks have some nerve coming back when you know I'm on this train!" Samus snapped, shooting away every Smorg in sight. They jumped from car to car, pushing again the flow of Smorgs.

"SMOOO-OOORG!"

Suddenly, all the Smorgs stopped what they were doing and joined all together. Not even Samus could move to shoot her cannon. They all just stared as it gained four long tentacle legs, attached with red Smorgs. Then, out of the small bump on top, came three longer, thicker arms.

Samus' jaw dropped. "Oh my god…"

"What_ is_ that repulsive thing! Horrendous!" Ms. Mowz squeaked.

"It's got the passengers and the rest of the team!" shouted Goombella. They glanced up, being able to see bits of the passengers and their friends in the three main stalks.

"HEEELLPPP!" "MARIOOOOO!" "SAMUS, PLEASE HELP!"

"This thing opened the windows and took us!" Sonic shouted.

"Help us, please! I don't think I can breathe!" yelped Link.

Samus blinked as Mario took his trademark fighting stance. "This thing just crossed the line…"

"'This thing has 50 HP overall, but those giant arms have 4 HP each!" Goombella tattled. Mario took in the info and decided to start by saving everyone. He pulled out a Thunder Rage, taking out all three arms and not doing the 5 damage to the actual Smorg. Now, without its arms, it was completely defenseless and offenseless!

"Which makes what I do a lot easier!" Samus chuckled before unleashing a powerful Charge Shot for 5 damage. Ms. Mowz slapped for a meeker 4 damage. The red lump shrunk, then popped back out with the return of its arms. One smacked Samus, one hit Ms. Mowz, and the last one hit Samus again. Mario groaned, but then thought up a strategy. He swapped places with Goombella, who used their final Thunder Rage to destroy the arms. The Smorg became a red lump again, and Mario used Art Attack.

Mario: Yeah!

He held up the Ruby Crystal Star then sent it toward the Smorg. With his finger acting as a pointer, he drew around the Smorg several times, doing it so well he ended up with 9 damage!

"Wonderful!" Goombella cheered.

"This thing isn't hard at all!" added Ms. Mowz. The Smorg hissed and returned its arms, which Mario dodged completely and Goombella getting hit once. Mario looked up and saw Kirby's face in the last arm, with a fearful, but apologetic, look. Mario shook his head. It wasn't Kirby's fault they were all trapped and whatnot. Samus fired a missile into the arms once more, Ms. Mowz calling upon Shooting Star and doing 6. This time, the Smorg didn't return its arms, giving Mario another fair hit. He pulled out the Diamond Star, he and Samus jumping aboard. With massive thuds and perfect timing, they did another 9!

"Marvelous!" called Ms. Mowz.

"Multi-Bonk!" Goombella announced, jumping into the air to try out her move. She did it successfully 10 consecutive times, landing stylishly, leaving the Smorg with 7!

"We so got this!" Samus announced. The arms returned, but Mario and Goombella were feeling so good they Superguarded the arms- all three times! The audience watching their battle started jumping up and down, returning unneeded Star Power at this moment.

"You'd better finish this thing off…" Samus warned, before sending the arms back out of existence. Ms. Mowz just gave her trademark giggle.

"That shouldn't be a problem, hon!"

With one decent smack, it got rid of the only 4 HP the Smorg had left. The creatures repelled from each other and toppled off the train, leaving only the passengers and the rest of Team Mario.

"Yes! We did it!" Samus cheered, giving Mario a high-five. "That thing wasn't even worth the challenge!"

**Inside, In Front of Cabin 1-**

Everyone gathered around Mario and Samus, saying thanks a thousand times.

"Boy, it's like all you did for three days was save us! How can we ever thank you?" the Conductoad asked.

"Everyone's safe now! And it's all thanks to you!" gushed the waitress.

"OH, THANK YOU MUCH! You shaved my life!" bellowed Chef Shimi. Mario and Samus exchanged glances. "…No! Stupid tongue of mine! You SAVED my life!"

"So, did you all know? This dashing fellow has been the famous Luigi all along!" Pennington announced, like it was a huge discovery. "And he was traveling with Malon, Miles, Meta Knight…and Samus…"

Samus pointed her cannon behind her. "Watch it, Smarty…"

"I don't even remember how it all happened!" Link admitted. "We were sleeping, and that Smorg just entered through the window and grabbed us for no reason at all!"

"I can't believe that thing dared to intrude on my beauty sleep…" Mumbled Flurrie.

"It wasn't even phased by my spikes!" Sonic complained.

"I could've gotten away, but I bravely defended Vivian-"

"Oh, hush Kirby! You were using me as a shield!"

The Conductoad started up again. "We will soon arrive at Poshley Heights! Ladies and Gentlemen…Prepare to disembark!

**Later, In the Afternoon-**

_Bing! Bong! Bing! Bong! Attention all passengers! Now arriving at Poshley Heights. Please watch your step and be sure to take all your belongings. And thank you for choosing the Excess Express!_

"We've made it, old boy!" Bobbery announced. "We'd best be finding that Poshley sanctum that Frankly told us about!"

Samus sighed. "It was actually kinda fun! Nothing beats relaxing and kicking butt at the same time…"

"I'll miss their delectable food…" Kirby sobbed. "Breakfast will never be the same again!"

Vivian patted Kirby. "I'm sure you'll be fine…"

Mario smiled and led the gang back to the first car, where the exit was. Upon stepping out, everyone had to whistle at how fancy the place was.

"Oh wow! It's so…Posh!" "It's pretty!" "It's got spaghetti!"

"Definitely a change of pace…" smirked Samus. Mario followed the path, seeing The Bob-ombs gathered in front of their house and the Business Mouse waiting for his dealer. Toadles had also returned home, Chub B. ended up staying on the train…which left the mysterious question of where Pennington ended up. Mario's thoughts were distracted by Sonic's gasp of, "Holy Rings- look at that hotel!"

It was huge, made of brick, and upon entering inside, you could tell it was expensive. Koops wanted to stay, but at the price of 30 coins Mario instantly shook his head no. He could stay free back at the Glitz Pit or just pay a simple 5 coins back in Rogueport for the same amount of service!

"But they leave a treat when you wake up!"

Mario: No

"Look at that awesome waterfall!"

Mario: Still, no

"C'mon Koops! Isn't 3 days of relaxation enough?" Link asked.

"You can never have enough relaxation!" Sonic sighed, reclining in a chair that was also giving him a massage.

"You're not helping my point at all!"

**Back Outside-**

Mario continued to follow the straight forward path and ended up in the farthest point in Poshley Heights. Penguins waddled across the grass, a fountain flowed peacefully in front of a huge building (but even that, and even POOLS, had scary Chomp-Shark things), and a Shine Sprite lingered just to the right. Link attempted to get it, but it took Mario's Ultra Boots to retrieve it.

"Way to steal my last hope of enthusiasm…"

"You wouldn't be able to get it anyway, Link!"

"So anyway, where's this Sanctum we're supposed to be finding?" Samus asked.

"I'm thinking it's that building there…"

Everyone turned to see a structure which was probably the equivalent of the White House. Sonic ran up the stairs and tried to open the door, but naturally it was locked. A note was left on the door, so Spike pulled it down and read it aloud.

_Gone traveling…_

_-Sanctum Manager_

"Oh wow, that's so cheap!"

"No way! This is super-weak! What'll we do?" cried Goombella. Just then, a familiar voice rang out to them.

"Ah, it is my dear Luigi and his friends! …and Samus…What are you doing at my doorstep, young fellow?"

Pennington slightly smirked as he waddled up the steps, trying hard to resist looking at the faces of shock gaping at him.

"You LIVE here?" yelped Link.

"…so you're the sanctum manager! I totally thought you were a detective!"

Pennington scratched the back of his head. "Well, yes…that is more like a hobby of mine, if the truth must be told."

"Oh oh, THAT explains a lot…" Samus groaned.

"But enough chatter, hm? Shall we go inside?"

He took out his key and unlocked the doors of his home, gently ushering the gang inside. But, to their other surprise, Beldam, Marilyn, and Doopliss were already at the Crystal Star!

"Whoa!" "What the?" "Didn't see THAT coming!"

Beldam raised her arms and acquired the Crystal Star that certainly didn't belong to her.

"Mwee hee hee hee hee! You're one step too late! We have the Crystal Star!"

And with that, Beldam and Marilyn vanished in the shadows, while Doopliss frantically looked around before jumping through a window.

"It must suck not to be able teleport…" Kirby sighed.

"Oh no! We're too late! We've gotta go after them!"

"Just a second there, Luigi. Exactly WHAT is going on here? Speak quickly!"

Mario explained in a limited amount of words their whole point of coming to the Sanctum.

"Hm, yes, quite rudimentary…so you were looking for the Crystal Star in this sanctum. Ohohohohohohohohoh! Yes, very interesting…Well, no cause for worry! The Crystal Star is safe! Yes, quite safe, indeed! The stone that our rude friends stole was fortunately a red herring! A fake! The real one is hidden somewhere in this sanctum to prevent such a theft!"

"Well whaddya know? Pennington's one step ahead!" chuckled Sonic.

"However…as to the location of the real star…well, as sanctum manager, I am, of course, prohibited from telling anyone…However…I do know where it is! Of that you can be most certain! Yes, indeed! Besides, I am sure junior deceives like yourselves could find it on your own! Now Luigi! Put to use all those razor-sharp sleuthing skills I have taught you! Make me proud!"

"And by razor-sharp, I hope he means dull." snickered Link.

"Enough sarcasm! We've got a problem. The star is still here, somewhere, but there's a dead end. It's like a one room museum with only one attraction!" Kirby explained.

"It has to be here though! The map wouldn't lie, Pennington has to know at least one thing in that Improbably Large Brain, and…where's Mario?"

"Wa-hoo!"

Mario had Spring Jumped up to a pole that had been conveniently placed right above their heads. As everyone looked up, they saw a whole series of poles and even a secret switch. Mario started climbing to his right, not believe being he was going through with this.

"Go Mario!" "You can do it!" "We'll be right here waiting!" "Since we obviously can't go with you…"

Once Mario reached the next area, he sent a thumbs up downward to him team and continued to work through the puzzle. He asked the people below to tell him where to go, so they'd at least be included.

"Okay! Take four steps and Spring Jump, then go to your right!"

Mario obeyed and ended up on a slightly higher ledge.

"Good…go seven steps back, Spring, then go forward until you see a super-cool airplane pad!"

Mario did the seven steps, sprung up, and reached the airplane pad. He transformed himself, then flew carefully over to the other side. He landed on the second ledge from the top.

"The next part's simple! Go to the next pole, head left, then hit the switch!"

Mario walked and jumped, almost losing his grip this time around, but managed to get safely over and hit the switch. Down below where the majority of the group was, a curtain suddenly rose, revealing a pipe leading into the painting.

"Way to go Mario!" "Knew you could do it!"

Mario modestly raised a hand before jumping down and being caught by Samus. They all piled into the pipe, and oddly walked through the door inside the painting.

"Clever hiding spot, if I do say so myself!" Bobbery admitted.

"This is so cool! This hall is filled with Boos!" cheered Kirby.

"Yeah, mindless dark Boos. Now let's just calmly walk down the simple path to the Crystal Star-"

"BONZAI!" Samus boomed, getting back into her groove by blasting every visible ghost. Flurrie smacked her head while Kirby fainted. Those poor Boos…while Samus distracted the Boos, Mario led everyone else down to where the Crystal Star was. Ms. Mowz, however, stopped everyone.

"Hold on…sniff sniff…I smell treasure…"

"Is it a Shine Sprite?" Kirby asked excitedly.

"I think so…but it's a faint scent so I think it's out of reach-"

"Kirby float ability GO!"

He turned into a cute pink balloon, flying straight up from where he was. He spun around, locating a Shine Sprite on one of the ledges. Kirby cheered-as usual- and claimed another Sprite for their collection.

"I'll never get another one again!" Link wailed.

"Can we just get the Star and get out of here?" Sonic questioned impatiently. Mario nodded and picked the Garnet Crystal Star off its pedestal. It spun around him, until he was able to hold it over his head.

"We got a Crystal Star! Mario's Star Power is now 7! And he can use the move, Showstopper!" Link announced.

"Do you always have to do that?"

"Yes. It's very epic."

_They found the sixth Crystal Star, hidden craftily in the Poshley Heights sanctum. Now only one Crystal Star remains…and that means it's the same one Link lost so long ago…and also, the heroes have no idea where team Z.A.P. is being held still. And secretly, they're all worried they won't be held there much longer…_

Mario brought the gang out of the painting, and returned to the entry area via the pipe. Pennington was apparently waiting for them.

"hm…so that is where it was…Oh, er, nothing! NOTHING! Just talking to my brain. All geniuses do it."

"They must be improbable geniuses."

"Anyway…Congratulations Luigi! You have found the real Crystal Star! So please, feel free to take it. I will just put another fake one over here…Well, traveling with you has been rather hectic, but I do admit, rather fun as well! I am sure you still have a longer road ahead, Luigi, but do not give up!"

Mario smiled and gave a thumbs up- Sonic claiming he ripped him off- before heading out of the Sanctum, and looking forward to spending another 3 days on the Excess Express to get back to Rogueport…

* * *

**Now I feel all ashamed because everyone was saying that the Smorg boss was SO easy and I DIED on it when I played the game the first time around XD. And I also recall being upset that Pennington was not a partner. I happened to like him. Oh well. And so ends the awesome, hilarious, yet short Chapter 6. But...we have another Boss Weekend! Especially if my computer chooses to cooperate with me! Yay! You know that drill- Peach tomorrow, Bowser Sunday. ;)**


	63. Shutdown by Inhumane Computer Virus

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 62: Shut Down by Inhumane Computer Virus

Once again, we return to the moo- oh, uh, I mean, moo as in a cow. Yeah, a cow. Not like, the MOON or anything. Cough…

**ANYWAY, _wherever_ Team Z.A.P. is being held-**

"What is the matter with you idiots? Falling for a fake crystal star? That's asinine!" Grodus hissed to an innocent X-Naut.

"Sorry dude, I mean, sir!"

"So let me guess…this means Mario and his cohorts managed to get the real Crystal Star?"

"Uh…I'm gonna say…maybe?"

"Urgh…This mustaches menace has nearly every Crystal Star now! They were mine! I think I'd better alter my plan a bit…"

"Before you do, Sir Grodus…I think I'd better tell you something…"

"What is it, fool?"

The X-Naut gulped and stepped forward. He whispered something into Grodus' ear, causing the evil dictator to cry out in rage.

"WHAAAT? Are you sure? Speak!" Grodus demanded.

"No joke dude. I mean, affirmative, Sir Dude. That is…I'm positive, sir!"

"hrrrgh…TREASON!"

. . . . . . .

In the captive room, the girls were not bored, which was a first. They were occupied with worry, fear, and curiosity. Peach stood, facing the bed, back to the others girls who were discussing their worries. Peach had a smile on her face, thinking nothing could go wrong, but really it was just to keep Zelda and Amy sane.

"It's been so long…" Amy whimpered. "I hate being kidnapped. I truly do."

"I can't stand not knowing anything! When will we be saved? What did TEC analyze? Where the heck are we? And will they EVER feed us?" ranted Zelda, lying face down on the bed though her bold worlds were still crystal clear.

Peach turned, her smile perfectly in place. "Strange…isn't it about time for TEC to call us in? Maybe he's busy…"

And on cue, the door opened.

"I bet he was waiting for you to say that…" Zelda mumbled.

**TEC'S Room-**

"Hello TEC! What do you want today?" Peach asked cheerfully. Like Amy and Zelda, TEC didn't seem happy either, but at least he had a solid reason.

"Princess Peach, I have…I have reach a conclusion…" TEC trailed.

"…a Conclusion?" Peach repeated.

"Interesting…" Zelda mused.

"I have struggled with whether to obey orders…or to talk to you…and…I cannot confirm…what I should believe…"

"What happened to your conclusion?" asked Amy.

Peach wasn't smiling anymore. "TEC, you don't sound right. What's going on with you?"

"Princess Peach…take your friends and please escape from this place as quickly as possible…"

"Escape…TEC, what do you mean by that? I mean…why all of a sudden?"

"Yeah, we don't even know where we are- you never told us!" added Zelda.

TEC would've been frowning. "The data you procured has been analyzed, and something terrible is…No. I will not say. But I…have found out everything about Sir Grodus' plans."

"Grodus' plans? You mean, about conquering the worlds?"

"Yes. And among those plans was the reason why you are being held here. According to the data…"

He got really quiet, and as he spoke, Peach, Zelda, and Amy had to lean in to take in all the info. What their ears retrieved was absolutely terrible, horrifying, and nightmarish, and Peach looked like she was about to break down. Amy held Zelda for support.

"No…no way, that's impossible! I don't believe it!" Peach cried.

"These people are absolute monsters!" Zelda snapped, still keeping Amy from fainting. "What a sick and twisted way to take over the worlds!"

"Everything is true. That is why you escape from here as fast as possible." TEC confirmed.

"There's still the fact that we have no idea where we are…" threw in Amy. "That's an important factor."

"I will not hide anything from you anymore. No. Not from you. I will tell you everything. The place where you are currently imprisoned…This is the moon."

Peach's eyes nearly bugged out. "The moon? You mean, the moon that hangs up in the sky at night? That moon?"

"Be glad its not the moon back on my world! There's only half left!" Amy stated.

Zelda gave her a look and raised an eyebrow.

"That is correct. "

"But that's…unbelievable! How in the world are we supposed to escape?"

"It does seem illogical if you truly think about it…" thought Zelda.

"There is a way. You can escape…but you must follow my instructions exactly."

"But TEC…Won't they know you helped me? Won't you get in trouble?" Peach asked meekly. This was getting to be too much to handle.

"That is inconsequential. I would like you to be safe. That is all that matters."

All three girls breathed in one breath, "TEC…"

"I am the base's computer. No one will know of your escape if I keep silent. Please do not worry about me. Escape. Escape as quickly as possible."

Peach gripped her hands tightly under her chin. "…OK TEC. But I must inform Mario about all this before I go…this is no longer just our problem…"

"Understood."

Peach gave her look, the one asking if Zelda and Amy wanted to write. They shook their heads.

"I'm sure we all have the same thing to say, Peach…" Zelda said.

"Yeah, we're pretty much in the same boat."

Peach nodded. "Then I speak for all of us."

She turned and began to type, Zelda and Amy watching intently. They didn't hear the door open, but they heard someone yell at them.

"Hold it right there, Princess Peach!" a dark, sinister voice barked. Peach felt her heart stop. Zelda stopped breathing. Amy really wanted to faint. Grodus stood at the door, accompanied by two X-Nauts. "TEC, you miserable machine…We all know what you're up to, traitor."

"Sir Grodus…I…"

"In my most paranoid moments, I never thought my own computer would betray me. Well, it doesn't really matter in the end, I suppose…especially since it ends here."

"You monster! What are you planning to do with him?" Peach demanded to know.

"Gack ack ack ack ack! Only one thing to do with a malfunctioning computer! Cut the circuit and delete all the programs and data that caused the malfunction! Obviously, all data related to Princess Peach, Princess Zelda, and Amy Rose must go, as well…yes, we must be absolutely sure nothing like this ever happens again…"

TEC defended himself. "No…I am…I am normal…there is no malfunction."

"Yeah, so leave him alone!" Amy shouted.

"Pipe down, all of you. X-Nauts: at the same time, press the red buttons on TEC's sides."

"Got it, Sir!"

They trotted to opposite sides where the red buttons were.

"TEC! NO!"

Push.

"Mail…sent…..Princess Peach…I…l….o…..…v….e….…y….o….u…..."

"Deletion complete."

_"TEC!"_

"Gack ack ack ack ack! Too bad, Princess Peach. TEC is no longer with us." Grodus cackled.

Peach's eyes started to water. "No! You inhumane beast! How could you?"

"Princess Peach…just stop it. This is no time to be worrying about a computer."

"You insane jerk!"

Zelda jumped onto Grodus, attempting to yank his dome head off while Amy rapidly hit him with her hammer. The two X-Nauts quickly secured the feisty girls, receiving scars and bruises in return.

"Let me go! Don't make me use my power!" Zelda threatened.

"Why didn't you use them before?"

Grodus glared at the two girls, then at Princess Peach. "We have some very important things for you three to do now…yes, VERY important… Gack ack ack ack ack!"

He grabbed Peach, and along with the X-Nauts carrying Amy and Zelda, their simple diabolical plan was just beginning to be put into action…


	64. Chickens, Random Sight and Bowser Castle

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 63: Chickens, Random Sightings, and Bowser Castle

"Ack!" "Bowser!" "Two old men!" "Save me!"

Bowser, Ganondorf, and Eggman exhaustedly trudged back to Rogueport, where all civilians instantly ran off screaming.

"Grrrhhh…Hrrgh…Bluh…I've got no Crystal Stars…I can't find Princess Peach…" Bowser murmured.

"…and Twilight Town wasn't exactly glorious…" coughed Ganondorf, still stained with explosion aftermath. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!"

"If this keeps up, Team Mario's going to steal everything from our grasp!" added Eggman.

All three: AS USUAL!

"Your Massivenesses!" Kammy cried, catching up with the group. "We did it! The Magikoopa scouts found a suspicious underground chamber! It isn't even on any maps! Yeah! REALLY suspicious! SOMETHING must be there!"

Eggman placed a hand to his chin. "Hmm…it does sound promising…maybe I can make a new base there!"

"About time! Well done! This is where it all turns around for us! Definitely!" Bowser exclaimed.

Kammy continued. "The Hammer Bro. battalion is attempting to breach the chamber at the moment…the area is impenetrable! They're scraping tooth and nail in there!"

"No problem! Direct me there! I'll blast us through! I'm Bowser, baby!"

Ganondorf smacked his head. "Oh brother, baby…"

As they trotted off in the direction Kammy came from, Luigi's team suddenly walked up and did a double check to make sure they weren't seeing things.

Luigi: ?

"Uh…I think we should just go wait at the train station…" Tails trailed.

"That was truly random…" agreed Malon. "Perhaps we should come back later?"

Everyone nodded and backed away, pretending what they "saw" was pure pretend.

**Meanwhile-**

"Aw yeah! I'm liking THIS place!" Bowser cheered, making a short jump over lava.

"Are you nuts? It's a lethal heat trap!" Eggman complained, nearly getting spurted with flying lava while jumping over spinning fire. "Perhaps this isn't ideal for a base..."

"I don't know…maybe I'll use this design when I take over Hyrule Castle again!"

"Get original, Ganondorf…" Bowser snorted, jumping up and collecting some beef. "Oh yeah! Now that's getting beefed up!"

He jumped onto a stone bridge and destroyed all the X-Nauts running madly across. Ganondorf started blasting some his dark power, while Eggman wished he had cool abilities too. Bowser removed a fire trap on cement blocks as Ganondorf retrieved some meat of his own.

"Oh come on! Now I'm all small!" Eggman complained.

"You're not small in the gut!" Bowser cackled. He slapped Ganondorf a high five. Eggman's eyes lit up with fire.

"Whose side are you _on?"_

Ganondorf shrugged. "I can't help that he burned you- especially in such a hot place."

Eggman just gritted his teeth and jumped onto a spring, taking him back up.

"H-Hey! Wait for us!" "Yeah, we're too big and slow!"

Eggman jumped from brick block to brick block, stepping on an X-Naut and actually jumping to the top of the flagpole. Bowser and Ganondorf just barreled through the boxes and knocked the pole down.

"That certainly could have gone smoother…" Ganondorf grumbled while dusting himself off.

. . . . .

"Incredible, Lord Bowser!" Kammy exclaimed as they entered the hidden chamber. "Nothing stood in your way! You couldn't be more Super!"

"Puh-lease! No problem! I felt right at home! But…where are we now?"

"It looks like a gym to me…" commented Eggman.

"Good, because you could use one!" chortled Ganondorf. Eggman smacked his head.

"Honestly, are ALL characters from Hyrule self-proclaimed hilarious?"

"Not Malon- she's too down to earth most the time."

Kammy took a look around, only to throw out her back freaking out. "Gracious me! look! Over there on the wall! Behind you!"

The trio turned around , seeing a Crystal Star placed nicely on the wall. Bowser clapped his hands.

"Hello! Could it be? Aw, YEAH! A Crystal Star! Advantage, Bowser!"

"This wasn't a complete waste after all!" cheered Eggman.

"Wait, "Advantage Bowser"? You couldn't get here without us you know!" Ganondorf snapped. Bowser waved a hand.

"Right, right. Advantage _Team_ Bowser!"

"Mweh heh heh heh! At last, we've found one! And now we'll make it ours!" Kammy cackled evilly. She advanced to the star, until a loud and burly voice snapped at them.

"Freeze, chumps!"

"Gragh! Who's there?"

"Harharharharharharhar! Don't tell me you don't know the famous Rawk Hawk!" Rawk Hawk bellowed. He turned to face the computer screen. "You little punk-weasel! You forgot these muscles? You forgot this hugeness?"

"You forgot this annoying chatter?" Bowser grunted under his breath. Rawk Hawk glanced back at Bowser's team.

"Don't ask me how, but you cleared my Secret Training Facility! Not too shabby! I even imported some super-freak to up the difficulty level…You're good! 'Course, good don't count for squat in this biz, babe! My champ's belt…is mine!"

"Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, look! What an adorable little weakling! Hi, fella!" Bowser laughed.

"Weak…wait, what? Well tell me something. Have you ever seen a weakling…DO THIS!"

Rawk Hawk started to do his "Rawk Slide", but Bowser jumped up and squashed him into a chicken pancake.

"Pain."

However, the move sent Kammy flying into the wall, under the Champ's Belt. The "Crystal Star" on that belt started to shake.

"Ouch."

"Gra ha ha ha ha! Aww! Now you're sleeping! I KNEW you were a weakling!"

"Uh, Bowser…"

"Whut?"

The Star fell off the belt, landed on Kammy's head, and shattered on the ground.

"Woah! The Crystal Star!"

Kammy jumped up and gasped. "Hmmm? Eek! It split in two! Oh no, oh no, on no, oh no-"

"Oh GREAT!" roared Ganondorf. "Now what!"

Kammy took a closer look at the pieces. "Wait…hold the phone! My mighty Lord Bowser! This is just glass! It's a flimflam! A fake!"

"Wh-What? Speak English!"

"You…ow…want the real one?" Rawk Hawk asked, obviously still in pain. "The Great…urk…Gonzales and …the Blue Blur…they have it. Oh, my aching hair…Feel…the…Rawk…"

Bowser just growled. "I don't know anybody named Gonzales or know a Blue Blur! Stop speaking riddles, you chicken nugget!"

"How does hair ache?" qustioned Ganondorf to no one in particular.

"It's not possible," Eggman put in. "But that aside, those are actually quality fighting names!" Eggman realized.

"Now, something like "The Missing Link" would be terrible! It's so plain!"

"I kinda like it though…"

"CRUD! Who do I have to flatten to get a Crystal Star! Who? WHO?" Bowser roared, completely ignoring his minions- I mean, teammates' debate.

Things might've been bad for Bowser's Team, but it was certainly nothing compared to Mario and Peach's problems…and Luigi's to an extent…


	65. Before We Rise to Moon

**Just a little note...obviously since this is the "meeting" chapter where Team Mario runs into Team Luigi, I just want to say for those of you not caught up in PLX (or haven't read it at all) the final character is revealed, and I don't know if you want to be spoiled or anything, so here's a warning. (Mainly for you, Smart One 64, to tell the truth. ;) ) Okay, that's all. Carry on! Or not...**

* * *

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 64: Before We Rise to Moon

Back with Team Mario, they were just now retuning to Rogueport via the Excess Express. Mario had barely stepped off the train when his Mailbox SP went off.

"It's must be the girls again!"

"I hope they have that data…"

Mario hoped the same thing as he flipped the mail-receiving device open and read it.

_Mario, Link, Sonic, Kirby, and Samus,_

_We now know where we are being held. We're on the moon. Yes. The moon that floats out in space. And we've learned something even more horrifying. In order to resurrect the demon's spirit, they need my…_

"The MOON?" everyone cried.

"That actually sounds pretty cool! But why is the e-mail cut off…" Goombella wondered.

"What if something happened to them…" trailed Samus.

Link shivered. "Ugh, don't SAY that!"

"Well, look at the facts! Apparently they need Peach for something involving bringing the demon back to life!" Kirby yelped.

Sonic folded his arms and tapped his foot. "But then what happened to Zelda and Amy…"

Mario told everyone to calm down until they knew where the last Crystal Star was, which meant they had to make another trip to the Thousand Year Door. As they climbed down the steps, they found Luigi, Malon, Tails, Meta Knight, Knuckles, and all their partners plus a strange whipped cream-looking ghost standing behind Knuckles.

"Knuckles! Is that you?" Samus asked, staring at the red echidna. Knuckles looked up and grinned.

"Well, well, well. It's Samus! Long time no see, eh?"

"You two know each other?" Screamy asked. Knuckles nodded.

"Of course! I happened to be off Angel Island when Sonic brought her to our world!"

Samus struck a tough pose. "We were like two destructive peas in a pod!"

"We were unstoppable!"

They both sighed. "Ah, memories…"

Malon placed her hands on her hips. "I'd like to hear this story on our way to Hatesong Tower!"

"When did _Knuckles_ join you guys?" Sonic interrupted with a question. "I'd think he'd rather be back home guarding that Emerald that having a little fun!"

"We found him with his Master Emerald in the Grimble Forest!" Tails explained. "He told us it teleported him to help us in our quest!"

"Yeah, we couldn't have gotten our second-to-last compass piece without his help!" added Malon.

Kirby jumped to Meta Knight and started him in the eyes. "You haven't been kissing Bow lately, have you?"

Meta Knight rolled his eyes. "No, Kirby…that was _just _acting…"

"We're headed to Hatesong Tower to stop the Chestnut King once and for all!" Knuckles finished, making a muscle and everything. "Princess Éclair WILL be saved!"

"And you're taking Knuckles?" Sonic asked. Luigi nodded.

"Yes. Yes were are. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Er, uh…no. No. I was just making sure, that's all."

"Wait…if you're going to your final area, shouldn't you have all parts of your compass?" Samus asked.

"That's the best part! Princess Éclair has the last Marvelous Compass Piece embedded in her crown so we could find her!" Luigi explained. "You should hear about our time in Grimble Forest!"

"Besides the fact we got lost a bunch of times…" complained Jerry.

"Yeah, thanks to Luigi!" blurted Blooey. All partners of Luigi's team glared at him except for Hayzee.

"We managed to get out, didn't we?" Luigi defended.

"Thanks to Knuckles…" mumbled Meta Knight. Knuckles smirked while Luigi hit his head.

"well, it's a long story, but here it goes…"

**Some length of time later-**

"…and so we stopped here for a rest after NOT seeing Bowser, Eggman, and Ganondorf randomly head to the east area!" Luigi finished.

"That's cool. We need to find a Crystal Star to save Peach from being some kind of tool and to stop a demon from being revived! announced Kirby. Team Luigi widened their eyes and slightly backed up.

"Um…okay…" Malon gulped.

"Glad our problems aren't like that! We're simply saving a sweet princess!" stated Tails.

"Good luck with that!" Luigi finished. "Let's roll, guys!"

Blooey pushed Luigi down while Torque sent him rolling.

"I did not mean THAT!"

Meta Knight sighed. "Why did I agree to this…"

Knuckles patted his back. "Just live with it buddy…"

They quickly chased after Luigi, and when Mario's gang rounded the corner they were shocked to see they were gone.

"Wow- they sure run away fast!"

"Ahem, well, anyway…"

**Thousand-Year Door-**

"WAIT!"

**Main Plaza-**

"What the heck was THAT for Link?" Goombella complained as they returned to the Main Plaza. Link ran to the place where a large chest sat on an out of reach ledge.

"I remember this large chest here!"

"So? We can't get to it!" Spike retorted.

"We can't…but Mario can! Catch my drift?"

Mario: Oh yes!

He went under the high ledge, couched, then Spring Jumped to knock the large chest down. Mario opened it…and he got the Ultra Hammer! Link got the Ultra Sword, learning the new move Great Spin which could attack all enemies with great power! Kirby took Mario's Super Hammer and also claimed the Ultra Cutter! His attack increased incredibly and also learned the move Mega Slice!

"…and I got my Ultra Cannon!" Samus cackled insanely, pointing it around to show off and threatening to use her Super Missile.

"Oh I really hate when you get that…" moaned Link, ducking just in case. Samus smirked and put her cannon to her side.

"You do know we could've just done this AFTER we talked to Frankly…" Koops pointed out. Link folded his arms and turned away.

"Hmph. They're cool power ups. I highly doubt anyone could wait for those…"

**Thousand-Year Door FOR REAL after gaining one more Shine Sprite-**

Everyone held up their stars, with Samus holding both the Sapphire and Garnet Stars. The pedestal lit up, the map rose, and the place of the final Crystal Star was revealed.

_In the top left corner of the map as a portion of space, with a bigger-than-life moon. On the moon popped up a rather large fortress, and in that fortress was the crystal Crystal Star._

The glass shattering noise was heard for probably the last time, and the map fell out of its suspended animation. Everyone jumped up to look at the map.

"Eh? What's this balderdash?" Bobbery pondered.

"The last Crystal Star is on the moon!" wailed Koops. "It couldn't be!"

"That's MY Crystal Star!" Link cried. "That's the star Lord Crump mugged from me! We've gotta go get it!"

"Newsflash, genius. We have no way of getting to the freaking moon!"

**Frankly's Place-**

"Hrmm…if what this map indicates is true, then the location of the final Crystal Star is…the moon. " Frankly confirmed.

"Anyone with eyes can see that!"

"There's another thing…isn't Team Z.A.P. there as well?" Samus reminded them.

"It does all seem a bit off…" agreed Bobbery.

"Hrmm…the problem here…is how does one get to the moon? Quite a conundrum."

"You don't know!" "Oh great." "We're screwed now!"

Frankly shook his head. "Give me a moment to look into this. Excuse me, please. This shouldn't take long."

He pulled down a book and started reading up on things, and told the group to come back a bit later.

**Outside-**

"…now what?"

"Get rid of all these Shine Sprites!" Link replied, rushing into Merlon's shop.

**5 minutes Later…**

They Ultra Ranked everybody except for Goombella, but Vivian told her they'd be able to with two more Shine Sprites.

"We did that awfully fast…I still don't think Frankly's done yet!" Flurrie announced.

"Now what should we do…"

Mario thought it over until a secret grin crept over his face.

**Docks-**

"Uh…why did you lead us here Mario?"

Mario simply pointed downward to the green mouse, Lumpy, that only he, Goombella, and Koops remembered meeting.

"Ah Mario! It's Lumpy! Remember? I went to Dry Dry Desert to drill for oil? Ring a bell?"

"Oh yeah! You're the guy we invested-" Koops started, until Goombella clamped his mouth shut.

"Dry Dry Desert…memories…" reminisced Kirby.

"I did it! I totally struck oil!" he squeaked.

Mario: Hooray!

"I never thought that place would've been a gold mine…" Link sighed. Lumpy started to go on about how there were times when he wanted to give, but he didn't! And he succeeded!

"I want to return your loan with a little more just to show my appreciation!" Lumpy continued.

Link held up a hand. "Wait a minute! I've been with Mario the entire time, and I don't recall meeting you or giving you some loan!"

Lumpy scratched his head. "I sure remember Mario though…and he donated 300 coins to me! I'm giving him this for thanks!"

He gave him a maximum of 999 coins. Mario's eyes widened while Link's jaw dropped.

"How much oil did you strike!" Samus gaped.

"Quite a lot!"

"I can't believe you donated 300 coins without my input!" Link gaped. "Where was I when this happened?"

"You had a black eye!" Koops piped up.

Mario and Goombella: KOOPS!

"Oh, so while I was in pain with a black eye, you just gave away 300 coins! Honestly…"

"Stop being so negative Link!" Ms. Mows scoffed. "Now we have more money than we can carry!"

"We're rich! RICH!"

Link raised his hands in defeat. "All right, fine…I suppose I'll let it go…"

Mario: Oh yeah!

Lumpy gave them more thanks, and wished them luck on their adventure, and sent them on their way.

**Back at Frankly's, at Last-**

"Ah! Excellent timing! I finally have it Mario! I found a way that just might get you to the moon! You must go to Fahr Outpost. And you must use the cannon there. And it will blast you."

"…are we truly that desperate?" Sonic asked.

"I think it sounds awesome!" interrupted Spike.

"I know how it sounds, really. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure of the details… Accounts from Fahr Outpost speak of a device that can launch anything, anywhere. Even to the moon!"

"Next question! How do we get there?" Kirby intervened.

"I must say, this Fahr Outpost already seems like a bother to reach…" agreed Bobbery.

"I believe there's a pipe to Fahr Outpost somewhere beneath Rogueport…but I'm not sure of the exact location. Yes, I believe it was hidden for some reason. If my information is correct, you'll need something called an Ultra Hammer to get to it-"

"Oh! What now?"

"We could still got it afterwards, Link…"

"We already have one, and several other upgrades!" explained Vivian.

"Well, that certainly changes the subject now doesn't it? Use that Ultra Hammer to find the pipe to Fahr Outpost, then. Get to it!" Frankly ordered.

"Destination: Fahr Outpost!"

Frankly couched. "Oh, yes, er…one more thing you should be aware of…The Bob-ombs who live there are…sort of a surly bunch. They may not let you use the cannon. You may have to negotiate with them."

"Oh great- more compromising!" groaned Sonic.

"In any case, that's your problem! Good luck! Get that Crystal Star!"

**Door That Leads to Twilight Town Pipe Minutes Later-**

"…and here's this cement block I recall seeing!" Link stated, pointing to the block jetting out of the wall. "Just like that really large chest…"

"We get the point, Link."

Mario simply brought the hammer down on the block, bashing it to smithereens. It led to a small room with only a single blue brick pipe.

"I'm guessing that must be it!"

And with that, they began the journey to their seventh Crystal Star.

* * *

**Hooray for anti-climatic endings! :D And as of this chapter, we have officially reached the same amount of chapters as in PMX! (And on a scarier scale, that means 15 chapters left! o.O)**

**Brighter note!: Eh, I dunno. Virtual cake, courtesy of GrossGirl18, anyone? ;) *pulls out cake and passes it out***


	66. The Great White Escapade

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 65: The Great White Escapade

_With the next leg of the lengthy adventure ahead, it wasn't expected that the place was going to be very, very cold. Snow rained down to the ground softy, the wind nipped and froze your nose, and truly annoying enemies were scattered here and there…_

The gang emerged from the pipe after Link finished his introduction.

"It is STUPID cold out here!" Spike instantly yelled.

"Didn't I already say that? It's colder than Shiver City!"

"Oh boy…I t-truly hope we can get t-to an inn s-soon…" Kirby shivered. Vivian snapped her fingers and lit up her hands.

"I can keep you guys warm for a little while-"

"WARMTH!" Kirby touched the flame. "OW! TOO MUCH HOT! It burns!"

He put his little hand into snow while Vivian sighed.

"A flame is still a flame, you now…"

"Aw! Now it's too cold again! If only Bow were here…"

"C'mon on, Kirby…"

They had barely made footprints in the snow when they were ambushed by their first enemy-a trio of Ice Puffs. Vivian eagerly rubbed her hands.

"Oh, I'm so going to be useful!"

"It reminds me of how we needed Kooper's Fire Shell!" Sonic recalled. Kirby made a face.

"Oh yeah…"

"I don't have that move!" cried Koops, looking fretful.

"I'm not talking about you!"

"I gotta admit, that move was pretty hot!" cackled Link.

"…and that joke is still terrible…" sighed Samus.

Vivian just held up her hands. "…okay then…"

"Hey! I'll be doing my fair share also!" Bobbery added.

"Anyway…let's fight already!"

"Fine, Fine…"

Mario allowed Link and Bobbery to go first, then Link swapped spots with Bobbery. He used his Ultra Move to deal a boatload of damage on all three Ice Puffs, but not quite killing them.

"This looks like a good chance to use my Great Spin!"

Link jumped in the middle of the Ice Puffs, doing a large spin with his sword stuck out to do great damage to them all. If it was a stronger enemy, it would have done 15 HP worth of damage, but for now, it simply killed them all.

"Darn it!" Vivian pouted, at not being able to fight. Kirby patted her softly.

"Vivian, I'm sure they're be other chances, trust me. Cold places take forever…"

Sonic obtained a Shine Sprite behind a tree, Mario leading the group onward once more. A random Frost Piranha seeped out of the group and bit Mario, taking him completely off guard.

Mario: HEY!

He then pulled out the Garnet Crystal Star and decided to give it a try.

Mario: Yeah!

By successfully pulling off the move, by "tapping" the Garnet Star several times, he defeated the Piranhas in one show-stopping move.

"You can't do that Mario! Then I don't get to fight!" Vivian complained once again.

They avoided a Ice Puff, tried to dodge a Frost Piranha but ended up getting bit by one of two anyway. Vivian shoved her way to the front and grinned, raising her flaming hands.

"My time to shine! HIYAH!"

With a devastating Fiery Jinx, she pointed at the Piranhas and instantly blew them up in a destructive fire. Because they were ice attributed and she was fire, they melted even more under her power. Kirby's eyes widened as he glanced up at her confident look.

"If you were so afraid of your sister and her always punishing you, why didn't you take her on? You have the upper hand!"

Vivian's shy, soft expression returned. "B-Because she's my older sister…she's supposed to tell me what to do…"

"Not to the point of child abuse! Maybe you could've melted her frozen heart or something!"

Vivian thought about it for a moment when the other Piranha saddled up to them. Kirby super guarded against it and Vivian finished it and its gang off with another Fiery Jinx. Kirby grinned while everyone else gave her pats on the back. Just beyond those Piranha battles was Fahr Outpost.

"…well that was quicker than I thought!"

"There's always a catch to these things…"

"Before that happens, let's at least try to find the guy in charge of the cannon!" Sonic suggested.

"I still wanna go to the inn! All the battling might've warmed me up, but I'm still cold!"

"Me too!" added Spike.

"Okay, okay…"

Since there was obviously not an inn in the current area, Mario headed forward. Several cadet blue bob-ombs pointed out Mario's "lip-warmer" and hearing that there was nothing in this town of particular value. Mario cocked his head at all statements, but things got slightly stranger when they entered the busier part of the village…

"This looks promising…"

"We're still in a foreign wasteland. Nothing's changed."

Mario glanced around the area, seeing Dupree standing front of the inn sobbing at how the girl inside kicked him out. Goombella just rolled her eyes and scoffed while Kirby darted into the inn.

"I guess he really was cold…" Vivian shrugged. "I could've warmed him up!"

"You burned him."

Ms. Mowz's gasp interrupted the conversation. "I can't believe it!"

Her nose started going crazy while Link jumped to her side. "What did you find? A badge? Star Piece? Ultra Shroom?"

"no…the final Shine Sprite!"

"IT'S MINE!"

Ms. Mowz's nose was pointed in a northeast direction, and Link saw the final Shrine Sprite lying in the snow next to a house. He brushed it off, then held it dramatically above his head.

"I have claimed the final Shine Sprite!"

"Great! Now you can level me up!" Goombella cheered. Link sweat dropped.

"…anyway…" Samus trailed. "Who should we talk to about a cannon? Just by staring at these bombs you can tell don't know anything!"

"You haven't tried threatening them though!" Sonic snickered.

Samus narrowed her eyes. "Don't make me think about threatening you!"

"Oh, harsh! It was just a joke!"

Kirby returned, looking quite warm and eating a Space Bar. "It's really cozy in there, but the people talk like Yetis. What's going on here?"

"Kirby! Use your awesome wisdom to tell us what to do next!" Koops begged. Kirby thought it over before pointing with his Space Bar.

"You haven't tried talking to that prominent looking green bomb with a hat like that one penguin back in Shiver City, have you?"

Everyone face palmed. Spike just shook his head.

"Leave it to Kirby to point out the obvious…"

Mario walked up to the bob-omb and tapped him.

"Da…what business do you have here?" he barked.

"We're looking for a cannon nowhere near as impressive as mine to shoot us to the moon," Samus replied.

"…No such thing is here."

Everyone: What.

Flurrie wouldn't put up with the insolence any longer and floated up to the strange bomb. "I beg your pardon? I'm quite sure we've heard of a cannon near here!"

"What do you want me to say? We do not have one!"

"Liar! All lies!" Spike accused. "There's no way! Books never lie…right?"

"The info DID come from Frankly…" Link pondered. Goombella gave him a glare. Bobbery walked up with a pleasantly smug look.

"Maybe this old cod needs someone salty to rough him up…" he muttered.

"You go for it!" "Do it Bobbery!" "Give him a taste of the sea charm!"

The green explosive started again. "I told you, we have no-"

"Now, listen here! You're the mayor, hmm? How can an official like you lie that way huh?" Bobbery huffed after cutting him off.

Spike started jumping up and down. "I knew it!"

The mayor just widened his eyes as Bobbery continued. "Old boy, I KNOW I saw a cannon last time I was here, so do not lie, sir!"

"SHUSH! You call yourself a bob-omb? I spit at you!"

"You'd spit at an Admiral?" Sonic questioned.

"Despicable…" sighed Link.

"You know rules! There is to be NO mention of cannon to non-bob-ombs! NO mention! We must not allow it to be used for evil…"

Bobbery rolled his eyes. "Of course I know all that, you great blowhard. But we must use that cannon to get to the moon old boy. And if we don't sir…the world could end!"

Mayor Bomb jumped. "MMmmmm…world could end…ummm, well, we cannot have THAT now…still…you cannot use cannon now because of certain circumstances…"

Kirby threw his hands up. "Of course there's a catch! There's always a catch! They can't make saving lives, the day, and the world easy, can they?"

"We must have permission from Goldbob to use cannon. He is the one who started the whole blasting-thing-to-faraway-places policy…Once he got rich, he let business slide and does not start it up again…Also, General White was the one who devoted himself to operation of cannon…But he was so depressed by losing of job that he took cannon key and left."

"Goldbob and General White?"

"Da, that is correct. If you want to use cannon, you must find Goldbob and General White."

"Then let's go! We know Goldbob is in Poshley Heights…" Flurrie trailed.

"…and I think I recall General White being in Petalburg when we were there!" exclaimed Goombella.

"Well then let's get this over with!" Link replied.

"Can we level me up while we're at it?"

"No."

"You're gonna regret it!"

And they teleported.

**Poshley Heights-**

Luckily for the gang, Goldbob was still lounging outside with his family enjoying their posh life. Mario led his group over to have a chat with the gold bomb.

"Good day to you, Gonzales! And you too, Big Blue! What can I do for you today?" Goldbob asked.

Sonic grinned. "I still have fans!"

Mario explained the situation as best as he could. Goldbob nodded with each word.

"You must use the cannon in Fahr Outpost to save the world? Well, that IS rather a pickle, isn't it?"

Mario: mm-hm!

"Very well, then! I certainly owe your group a favor or two, hm? Yes, I should say! The truth is, I had hoped to resume my business with that cannon someday…and just between us, I only stopped because the wife said she didn't like the noise."

"Girls are always preventing the fun…" Sonic sighed.

Samus raised her cannon threateningly. "Excuse me?"

"I wasn't talking about you…"

Goldbob coughed to be able to continue. "Sadly, it takes a hefty bit of coins to get that cannon working…so…I need you to demonstrate how much you want to use that cannon."

"Why can't you just pay for it with a fraction of your life's savings!" Kirby protested. Vivian gently clamped her hand over his mouth.

"If it were a matter of money, just how much would you pay, if I may ask?"

Mario: 64!

"64 coins! You seem to be underestimating the value of my services!"

Mario: Fine, Everything I have!

Goldbob's eyes sparkled.

"You…er…Really? So…really?"

"YEP!" cried Kirby.

"Well, I suppose I'm just surprised to hear you say that. Staggered, actually. You know that means you'd be left with nothing with zero coins? You know that, do you?"

"yes, we know that."

"think of it! If you spent all your coins- and I mean ALL of them…you would certainly face a great difficulty down the road."

Mario: We. Know. That.

"…but hold on. I want to sure you're doing this fully aware of the consequences."

Everyone: Good Lord!

"Just take the super green rupee that's probably worth millions!"

"-or a simple cent-"

"Shush Goombella."

"Are you sure you won't regret this later? Are you sure?"

Mario: YES.

"I can just take it all? No "Just kidding" or any tomfoolery like that?"

Everyone: YES!

"Well, all right then…" Mario handed over his entire wallet, which still had the 999 coins in it. "You've certainly shown me something!"

Goldbob gave Mario his guide on the cannon, which Mario put away for safe keeping.

"Oh…and I wasn't serious either, my dear fellow. You can have your coins back! Hahahahahahaha!"

Mario, Goombella, Link, Bobbery, Koops, Sonic, Spike, Kirby, Vivian, Samus, Ms. Mowz, and Flurrie: ****************-.-

Mario, with a very blunt expression, received all his coins back. Thank the stars.

"Now solider on, my dear boy!"

"Great. Hopefully General White will be easer to convince…" Samus prayed.

"Don't count on it…" mumbled Ms. Mowz.

**Petalburg-**

"Ah, home sweet home!" Koops sighed, taking in the fresh air.

"Hmm…General White isn't where we left him!" Goombella exclaimed. It was true- he wasn't in front of the house anymore.

"We could talk to ol' Green Boots! He keeps track of everyone who comes and leaves!" suggested Link.

Mario: Okay!

They trotted to the entrance of the small town, where the very same koopa was still standing. Mario tapped his shoulder and asked about General White.

"Huh? General White? Oh, he was here a while ago, but then he said he was going to take a trip. Then he left. Wait, hang on a moment…he did say something about a deserted isle to the south…he was either going there…or NOT going there…"

Samus rolled her eyes. "That was definitely helpful."

**Keelhaul Key-**

"It doesn't look like he's here either…" sighed Vivian.

"Maybe he left again!" Bobbery pointed out.

This time, Mario talked to Pa-Patch, who had been named the new leader of Keelhaul Key.

"General White? Yeah, he was 'ere until a second ago. But he took off, right quick. Said he was goin' to an arena, or somefin'…"

"Probably won't be there either, but whatever…" Sonic grumbled, snapping his fingers.

**Glitz Pit-**

"Whaddya know? There's no great white bomb!"

"Perhaps he's at the Juice Bar?"

"That's where I would go!" Spike chuckled.

"These hotdogs are the best!" Kirby stated randomly, eating a Hoggle Hot Dog.

"Isn't it a little weird that a pig would be serving Hot Dogs…?" Samus wondered. Kirby shrugged.

"Probably, but it's delicious!"

Vivian opened the way to the Watering Hole, and Mario asked the tender about General White.

"General White? Oh, you must mean that white Bob-omb, huh? Yeah, he used to come here all the time. But I haven't seen him lately. Now that I think about it…I think he headed off to some huge tree…or not."

"We're going to Boggly Woods again? Yes!" Link cheered. "it reminds me so much of Zelda…"

"It is so peaceful there, isn't it?" Flurrie hummed.

"I like to think Twilight Town is more peaceful!" protested Kirby.

"yeah, peacefully creepy!" snorted Sonic.

"It reminds me of Bow! That's enough to keep me at peace!"

"Moving on!" Link called while snapped his fingers.

**Boggly Woods-**

"I seriously want to learn that trick!" "Me too!"

"I told you-it's confidential!"

Mario just sighed, entering the Great Tree. He headed to a Puni waiting at the entrance (who I'll call Puniblo) and asked once again about General White.

"Eh? General White?" Puniblo gathered. "Yeah! He's an old bob-omb with this great mustache. But…I have no idea where he went. He may 'ave said he was going somewhere dark…"

"Like I've said several times before, they can't make this easy…" Kirby moaned. He snapped his fingers, and they headed for Twilight Town.

**Twilight Town-**

"Here we are, once again…"

"I'm torn into pieces!"

"Can't deny it, can't pretend-"

"Please, stop."

Samus glared as Link, Sonic and Kirby gave sheepish looks. "Sorry. We got into the moment…"

Mario just blinked.

Anyway, with still no sign of the evasive bob-omb, the only thing to do was to ask where to go THIS time. Mario wandered around, and decided to talk to Freddie.

"Huh? General White? Yeah, I know that old guy. He's a white bob-omb, right? He was here until recently."

"Where'd he go? You'd better tell us!" Spike demanded to know. Freddie gulped and held up his hands.

"What am I, his secretary? He looked tired, I know that!"

"Nooooo! A dead end!"

"Let's go back to that frostbitten village and tell the mayor…"

**Fahr Outpost-**

"So…much…backtracking…" Link panted, barely able to walk.

"Vivian nearly melted all the snow while beating all those enemies!"

"hey- it wasn't a complete burn out!"

"Kirby, Kirby, Kirby…"

Vivian looked smug, Kirby laughed at his joke, and everyone else just sighed. Mario adjusted his hat before taking off to see the mayor. He was right where they left him, looking as paranoid as usual.

"What? You cannot find General White? Hmmmm…"

While he pondered, the group happened to glance behind the Mayor and see General White standing on his front step.

"The mustached gentleman…where has he gone to?" he mused before entering.

"Now where did he go…this makes trouble for us…we definitely need him…otherwise we cannot operate that thing…so, what to do…"

"For the love of mushrooms on a stick! He was here the whole time!" Link roared.

"Oh…my…"

"I'm…I'm going to cry now…"

Mario: T-T

They solemnly entered General White's house…where he was sleeping.

"Oh…it's just not FAIR!" Kirby wailed on the ground. He put on an angry face and started rapidly hitting White with his hammer. "Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!"

"Stop Kirby! You're not waking him up right!" Sonic exclaimed. "_This_ is how you do it!"

He used an Action Chain on the bomb, but he still wouldn't wake up. Sonic then backed to the corner of the room, then flew forward at a speed that caused a Sonic Boom. Everyone in the house went flying into the walls, and General White even bounced in his bed…but he was still sleeping.

"Everyone knows you have to slap people awake!" Ms. Mowz stated like it was an obvious fact. She smacked him repeatedly, but still no luck. Spike ground pounded, Flurrie used Body Slam (which surprisingly didn't work), Koops threw snow, Link told a joke (thought it might've made White sleep even harder), Bobbery blew up several times, Vivian even used Fiery Jinx and still nothing worked!

"Okay, we're desperate…" Link wheezed, picking up Goombella and forcing her to use Multibonk.

"Ow! Ow! It's not working!"

"I'll give it a try!" Samus offered, aiming her cannon straight at the General.

"No! Do you want to accidentally **kill **him?"

"Sigh…no…"

Mario held up a hand, then simply jumped on him twice. His eyes instantly started to blink, and the entire team groaned.

Mario: It takes a gentle touch!

"Gurf-snorf snorf snorf…"

General White literally jumped out of bed, did a triple backflip, then landed on his feet and chucked.

"Now, who are you? I am tired…I do not need your attention…I just want to sleep, as it is all hopeless…"

Mario explained the situation.

"Hut? That…mustache. That hat…and that hammer, even…hut-hut! I have been looking everywhere for you!"

"Same here…" murmured Samus.

"To bring that cannon back on line! I had lost my life's work…my very reason to live…I found myself at wit's end…and then the Rogueport fortune teller told me…"Seek the man with the red "M" hat…the one with the hammer and 'stache…he will fulfill your dreams…" or something like that."

"We need the cannon so we can save the worlds!" Kirby informed.

"It's really important!" "We all might die!"

General White blinked before breaking out into a song and dance. "Hip-hip-hooray! That fortune-teller was right! So, what are we waiting for? I will get the cannon ready, so go tell the mayor! Now get moving! Hut-hut!"

The general eagerly dashed out the door, leaving Team Mario to simply stand and stare.

"…I'd rather be on the moon than here, that's for sure."

Everyone: Agreed.


	67. Mario Shoots the Moon

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 66: Mario Shoots the Moon

Still a little sore about the backtracking fiasco previously, the gang exited General White's house and went to the mayor.

"So, cannon is back online?" he asked. Mario nodded drearily. "Well I could just exploded with delight! Now, let us shoot you to the moon!"

"Yeah! We did it!" "Finally!"

"I'm kinda afraid to be shot the moon…" Koops trailed.

"Well, we'll land among the stars if we miss!" Sonic shrugged.

"I don't like that thought either!"

The mayor headed to the cannon area, motioning for the group to follow behind. He prompted them to stand on a certain point on the ground…which caused a hidden door to open and for all of them to suddenly fall in. The mayor grinned and walked to the south part of the area.

"General White! Is Big Bomb Cannon ready?"

"Hut! Leave it to me! Now men! You know the drill! Load the Big Bomb Cannon!"

"Now, positions everyone!"

All bombs: Yes sir!

General White and two blue bombs entered the small hut, which turned out to be the control room. Once they were seated in positions, General White took charge.

"Bring guidance system online!"

"Bringing system online…system now online."

"System check!"

"System check…all clear."

General White nodded then made his announcements on the intercom.

"Prepared for detonation sequence!"

Alarms rang out.

"Open outer hatch!"

A part of the ground suddenly caved in and opened up, revealing a lot more high tech equipment than ever imagined. Samus, inside the cannon with everyone else, was actually quite impressed.

"Open inner shutter!"

Even more hatched open, showing that the cannon was very deep in the ground.

"Elevate! On my mark!"

Four bomb gathered at the comers, sending beams of pink light skyward. Then, the large, shiny, black cannon emerged from its long slumber. The mayor looked like a pea in comparison. Samus was definitely outshone by that massive gun power.

"Sighting! Target is the moon!"

"Direction: 75.38 Elevation: 54.66 Range: 389603."

"Wind Speed: 1.08 Correct Direction: 3.03 Correct Elevation: -2.39"

"Target locked! Chamber hatch open!"

With the chamber hatch open, the mayor ordered everyone in. And by everyone, he meant over a thousand normal bob-ombs piling in from literally nowhere and stuffing into the chamber.

"Close chamber hatch!"

"It's crowded in here, BOOM!" "Stop pushing, BA-ZOOM!" "OW OW OW!" "You're on my foot, BA-BOOM!" "It's tight in here, PLOOM!" "I'm getting nervous…" "Stop breathing on my neck!"

"Conditions all green! Standby…OK!" General White announced.

The mayor gave an amused gasp. "It is time…Big bomb cannon: FIIIIRE!"

With an excessive blast, Team Mario was fired into the sky.

Mario: WA-HOO!

"Oh God- we're going to die!"

Once they disappeared beyond the clouds, the bob-ombs who made it happen fell out of the sky with red and white parachutes. The mayor just looked up into the sky, his frozen breath appearing as puffs before him.

"Good luck, Team Mario…"

**Sometime Later-**

Everyone crashed head first into the moon, stuck like ninja stars in a wall. They all struggled to get free until Kirby suddenly jumped up sputtering.

"Oh gross! The moon ISN'T made of cheese!"

"Kirby…no one even talks about that theory anymore!" Samus retorted, also becoming free from the ground.

Kirby ignored the statement and brushed moon rocks off his tongue.

"how are we even able to breathe?" Goombella wondered. "It just doesn't add up…"

"How can we breathe underwater?"

"Touché…"

"Whoa! That was awesome!" Spike cackled, slightly dizzy from the crash landing. "Man, who knew adventurers got to do stuff like THAT!"

"Are you kidding- adventurers can do ANYTHING!" Sonic retorted. "…and I just realized- we can fly on the moon!"

"YES! I can complete my to-do list!" Koops cheered, jumping up and soaring a short distance. Sonic did a spin dash in slow motion.

"Oh, this is too cool!" Link exclaimed while doing a front flip. He accidentally collided with Sonic, causing them to do a parody of a slow-motion Japanese fight.

"Wah…"

"YAH!"

They slowly brushed by each other in fighting stances while Samus smacked her head.

"Come on, Sam! You gotta love zero gravity!" Sonic snickered, now balancing on her head with one hand.

"I've already experienced enough low gravity in my lifetime, thank you. Now get off my head."

"There's so many possibilities!" Kirby cried, carrying Mario upwards then tossing him. He did some stylishly flips before landing perfectly. Spike trotted over to a large moon rock-bigger than him, at least-and held it over his head.

"Yay! I'm strong now!"

"Uh, Spike…"

The rock transformed into a Moon Cleft, and Spike instantly chucked it into Koops. Koops let out a scream while pulling into his shell.

"G-Get it away from me…"

Samus fired a missile, slowly defeating the enemy in a slow-motion explosion.

"Okay, that was kinda cool. Now we just pray there's no Metroids on the moon…"

"They probably don't exist in Mario's world!" Link replied while standing perfectly still and balancing on his sword- tip pointing into the ground and Link's foot on the handle.

"I don't think that's even possible on the moon, Link…"

Link suddenly tipped over and crashed into the ground-slowly.

"Ow. Pain hurt 6 times less, but it still hurts…"

"Enough messing around- we've got to find the Crystal Star!" stated Ms. Mowz.

"And find Team Z.A.P.!" added Kirby.

Mario: Oh yeah!

Now, the moon trek was officially going to begin. They ventured to the right ,going past at least 5 Moon Clefts but only fighting three. With the help of moon gravity, they fought ALL the clefts in the following area, and then were attacked by a Z-Yux. It shot its trademark "O Laser" (or whatever) which Mario couldn't guard again. Out of anger, he built up the Garnet Star's power and stopped their show dead in its tracks.

"MARIO!"

Mario: :D…

"Next time, I go first so you don't pull off your show-stopping stunts!" Link said. Mario shrugged-as long as he wasn't getting hurt.

"Lookie! I see a base!" Kirby cried, at least over 25 feet in the "air" and pointing in a supposedly north direction. Everyone glanced over to see a large base held inside a dome with obviously spotlights flashing from it, making it very conspicuous, if being the only base on the moon wasn't enough. Samus turned on her scope and peered into the distance.

"There's a pipe leading there, but I'm guessing it's hidden…"

Bobbery looked around and found a cracked rock, which he felt the need to blow up. Behind the rock's remains was the pipe.

"Go Bobbery! You rock…get it?" Link laughed.

"That was horrible." Samus stately bluntly.

"Well, I DO have my moments…" the sailor bomb said importantly. Mario smiled and jumped down the pipe, cuing everyone else to follow. Now in the background, they made their way to the fortress' front door.

"Wow, really high tech in here…" noticed Vivian. The entry way had moving floors to reduce walking.

"It's still a rather suspicious building…wouldn't you say, old boy?" Bobbery asked. Mario nodded. "Do be careful, eh?"

"Psh, careful is our middle name!" Kirby scoffed.

"Actually, my middle name is "the"…" pointed out Sonic.

"You're ruining my point!"

Mario slammed his hammer into the floor, which he hadn't had to do in a long while, mind you, and they all took the "up" side of the hall. They opened the door into the main area, and all stopped in their tracks. Two Elite X-Nauts were guarding the next door, and they were equally as surprised.

"Who are they, dude?" the first asked the other.

"Whoa! That's Mario and Link! So, lets get them?"

The duo charged at the group, Mario and Link exchanging glances.

"How come they only know us, Mario?" Link wondered. Mario didn't have a clue. Disregarding the fact, Link took the opportunity to use Great Spin, cutting down half their HP! Bobbery performed Bob-ombast, finished them off without getting brutally owned by their attack power. They received glares from the rest of team for hogging the fight as they gained enough Star Points to level up. Mario, Kirby, and Samus took HP while Link and Sonic took FP.

"We're now A-list stars! Next time we battle, the stage and audience will upgrade!" Link told everyone else.

The X-Nauts instantly gave up and started running away. "YAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"Hey…since there are X-Nauts here…The Crystal Star's gotta be here too!" Goombella realized.

"Well duh! Besides the facts it's an OBVIOUS base, and Lord Crump took MY Crystal Star and it's the only one left AND he's an X-Naut, I'm sure the Crystal Star wouldn't be tossed into a random crater on the moon!" Link said in a huff. Goombella stuck up her nose- if she had one.

"Hmph! No need to be so harsh about it! Sheesh!"

"I thought you were smart- shouldn't you have considered that facts?"

Goombella smirked. "Oh, so you think I'm smart!"

Link sweat dropped. "What! No! I was using your supposed output to use reverse psychology and prove my point!"

"…wow, I thought you were stupid! Pretty good, there."

"Well thank you-HEY! Don't pull that on me!"

Goombella just laughed and followed Mario across the room, where he led everyone into the next area.

"…doesn't that mean Team Z.A.P. is here too?" wondered Samus. Link's pupils shrunk as he threw himself into the next door and wailed "ZELDA!" Mario gently pushed him out of the way to open the door, then dragged him into the next area. They bypassed an elevator which required another elevator key, then took on an Elite X-Naut. It was Sonic and Spike's turn to battle, and they took out the opponent with Action Chain and -just for the heck of it-Stampede.

"Well, there's only one place we can go…" Sonic commented while motioning to the only available door on the other side of the wall. He rushed in, only to freeze when a yellow pattern appeared in the floor. Everyone else came in just in time to see the pattern before it disappeared.

"That's a definite sign of…something."

Mario pondered the problem, while Link boldly stated that he would simply run across and locate the chest on the other side of the room that probably contained the Elevator Key. The moment he placed one foot on the floor, he was electrocuted and thrown back onto the safe area.

"Okay…" he said while smoking slightly. "…we can't do that…"

Mario's eyes lit up as he took two steps down, two to the right, went all the way up as he could go but stopped one square before the edge, went, one right, one up, two right, and one down to reach the chest. Upon opening it, and receiving the Elevator Key, the floor's defenses shut down and Link claimed a Super Shroom from a "?" box in the corner of the room.

"Oh yeah! Score!"

Mario left the room, went to the elevator, and placed the elevator key in the slot. The screen went from red to green, and the elevator began to work again. Somehow, they managed to cram in there and went to Sublevel 1. Kirby and Vivian took out one set of Elite Nauts and Samus and Ms. Mowz another of normal X-Nauts, while Mario discovered a room that required a passcode and remembered that for later. Link poked his head into the next room, which was the only available one of the floor, and found a totally sweet crane machine…but it was broken, so it had no use to them…yet.

"Well, better head to Sublevel 2!" shrugged Sonic.

"There's lots of important things here though, so I'll remember them for later…" Samus said, putting the data in her suit's memory. Kirby randomly jumped up and gave her a hug.

"Ah, I'm so glad you're useful sometimes…"

Samus raised an eyebrow. "Oh, okay…"

**Sublevel 2-**

"Oh geez!" "Ow! My face!" "It burns!"

As soon as they entered , a PHD X-Naut threw a potion at them, and since it was Mario's turn to battle, he used Showstopper to defeat it before it melted his entire team with his toxic acid.

"Man! That burned!" Koops complained, fingering a new hole in his hoodie. Mario looked in the room the X-Naut was standing in front of, seeing the lab Peach, Zelda, and Amy screwed up in so long ago, but also finding nothing of value beside another PHD trying to kill them with concoctions. Mario cringed and shut the door, hearing the liquid sizzle against the metal.

Mario: Mama mia!

Backing away from the door, he sent the ground to the left where another room similar to the one where they got the elevator key was. However, the floor didn't light up with the correct path- instead, a sign was placed on the wall saying where to go. But, if you looked closely, the correct squares were a slight shade of purple, compared to the other ones. Mario followed it two down, three left, one up, one left, four up, two left, four down, one left, one down, three left, and two up. On the other side he claimed a purple Card Key.

"Go Mario!"

Mario: Takes a bow.

Back in the hallway, Samus scanned the area and explained the hall had three rooms on the wall if they went right from the elevator, and then there was a larger room on the far, far right. Mario opted to go to the large room, which resulted in being Grodus' quarters…and that orange-red Yux that was guarding his room was now front and center and attacking the gang. Now that it was Link's turn to go first, he quickly reacted by throwing up his shield, then counter attacking with a jab.

"Not in my house!" he shouted at the X-Yux.

"That's some nice slang there Link…"

"Quiet."

Bobbery had no choice but to finish it with another Bob-ombast, just about draining Link's FP completely. He swigged two Maple Syrups before carrying on. They entered Grodus' Room, where a green Card Key simple rested on his desk, unguarded. Mario grabbed it, and backtracked once more into Sublevel 2's hall. They entered the second room from the right of the elevator, where yet ANOTHER Phd X-Naut chuckled bottles of stuff at them. Mario noticed an open vent, had everyone grab hold, then Spring Jumped into the air duct.

"You know, for being the X-Naut's base…it's actually kinda simple!" Vivian exclaimed.

"don't say things like that- it jinxes it!"

"It's true- happens to me all the time…" sighed Sonic. Mario went to the far right corner of the room, seeing another vent there.

"I say we try it! We might find some kind of helpful…thing!"

Mario: Okay!

He went paper thin causing them all to fall into one of the stalls in the locker room.

"Oomph…I feel changed…"

"I feel…8-bit…"

Mario pushed the curtain of the changing area open, only to reveal he looked like his 8-bit self, Link like how he was in the original LOZ, Sonic was old school again, Samus was in the original Metroid style, and Kirby and the partners were simply 8-bit in general.

"Talk about a blast from the past!" Sonic yelped. "What happened?"

"My hair went purple!" Link gasped, tapping his hair repeatedly.

"I look positively hideous!" wailed Flurrie.

"I don't have my Zero Suit!" Samus shrieked. "It's like before I got it three years after I obtained my Power Suit!"

Everyone just stared.

"It's true! Don't get any ideas either…"

Mario walked out the door, returning them all to normal.

"Whew! I thought I was doomed for a moment…" Samus sighed.

"It actually wouldn't have been that bad-"

"I said don't get any ideas!"

Kirby jumped up and down to get attention. "Ahem…anyway…what's our next move?"

**Back in the Ducts-**

This time, Mario went to a vent to the left of where they came up from, leading to the room of the first door on the right. They all fell downward and landed on a shelf of some sort. On the other side, beyond a gap, was a cog that went to the crane Link spotted. Link sent Koops over to retrieve it, then they all fell onto the floor.

"Okay…what's so special about this room?"

Kirby glanced over the room and grinned at the sight of a shiny red button.

"Must…push…"

"No! never hit the red buttons!"

Kirby pushed it anyway. A teleported suddenly came to life, and everyone gasped.

"Whoa…that must be how they get to Rogueport and back…" gasped Goombella.

"Maybe that's how Lord Crump managed to ambush me!" Link growled.

"Well we don't need it now, that's for sure…"

"I'll remember where it is!"

"It's the first room right of the elevator in Sublevel 2...whoa that's a lot to remember!"

**Sublevel 1, Crane Room-**

Mario installed the cog, getting the gears up and running again, but three red buttons lit up, attracting Kirby. He put on his silly grin and approached the buttons.

"No, Kirby! They probably required a combination we were too lazy to look for!" Samus cried. Kirby just rubbed his hands together.

"Don't worry! I have my ways…"

He hit the trio of button in left, right, middle, rebooting the crane system completely. Kirby struck a pose.

"I'm too good, I know!"

Link jumped forward and he rubbed his hands together. "Now let's see how we move this baby…"

He tilted the joystick on the control box up, and the crane moved with it.

"Excellent. Hey Mario? You want those two badges? You've got a lot of BP, hardly use the badges you have, and they look pretty important…"

Mario: Oh yes!"

"All right!"

Link navigated the crane up then left to retrieve the Feeling Fine badge, which Mario collected and equipped, and then al the way left and all the way up to get the Feeling Fine P badge.

"I am so good at this game!"

"What do those badges even do?" Samus asked.

"They're very useful- you can't be poisoned, burned, frozen, dizzy…basically you won't succumb to any aliments at all! You'll be Feeling Fine!" explained Goombella.

Sonic gave a quick nod. "Sweet!"

"Well, we've hit another dead end…" sighed Spike. "Anyone have any idea what the passcode is for that one room down the hall?"

"I do! It was in the locker room and I read it while you guys were freaking out over how you looked!" Kirby explained.

Vivian folded her arms and cocked her head. "So it THAT how you knew the button combination?"

Kirby just grinned sheepishly.

**Passcode Area Down the Hall-**

Kirby punched in 0-1-4-0-2-9, and the door magically opened.

"What wonders lurk inside…" Koops whispered. His gaze went up at a very familiar statue, and he froze. "Oh no…"

"I swear I've seen that before!" Link realized. Kirby walked up and poked it.

"Touch."

The robotized version of the rock monster from Shhwonk Forest lit up its eyes and glared at the gang.

"Who are you, huh? You came here to get the elevator key so you can access the computer room?"

"Uh…sure?"

"Yeah, I thought so. Well then, you're gonna have to beat me to get it! And if you lose, your lives are MINE! You hear me? MINE! So, what do you say?"

Mario: Challenge this chump!

"MMmmm hhmmm hoo ha ha! You're MINE now!" he growled.

Just like in Shhwonk, the background fell like puzzle pieces, and the rock monster gained a bowtie. The team found themselves in a quiz booth just staring at the monster like he was nuts.

"And here we go, folks! The main event! The 66th Annual Quirk Quiz! Yay! If you get 5 correct answers, then you win, win, WIN! But if you miss just 3 answers, you're toast! You don't wanna be toast, folks! Well, what're we waiting for? Heeeeeere we go! Question 1: Exactly what's hidden here?"

"You just told us the Elevator Key! I hate when they do that…" murmured Link.

"You suuuuuuure about that?"

"…yeah I think so."

"YARGH! You're correct! Crud! But that was an easy one-"

"DUH!"

"-You won't do so well on the next one, I guarantee that! Here we go, suckers! Question 2: What's the name of the girl in Petalburg who's waiting patiently for Koops' return?"

"Koopie Koo!" Koops just about shouted.

"Yargh! Correct! That was an easy one…Question 3: Goomba, Lava Bubble, Buzzy Beetle, and Boo. How many feet do they have?"

"This is a really sad quiz…" Sonic mumbled under his breath.

"6..." sighed Goombella.

"it's time like these I wish our lives were slightly more challenging-" started Kirby.

"What're you talking about? You're the one always complaining about how they can never make it easy!"

"Anyway…Correct! Bla bla too easy bla bla it'll be harder…Question 4: It's elementary…for non-idiots! Where was the one, the only, Diamond Star?"

"Hooktail's Belly!" cried Link, Goombella, Koops, and surprisingly Ms. Mowz.

"You suuure about that?"

Mario: Yes.

"You're correct, you jerks! You've already gotten FOUR correct? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Not really, since these questions are a joke!" Samus sneered.

"I was going to say that!"

"Too late, Link."

"Well, fine! I'm gonna toss an extra-hard one your way! You happy now, suckers?"

"No."

"Question 5: What was the name of the very first champion at the Glitzville Arena?"

Sonic slammed his hand on the button. "That's an easy one! It was Prince Mush- the story of how he went missing was what we always talked about back in the minors!"

"I still can't believe you were a fighter…" Samus sighed while shaking her head.

"hey-I was also champion!"

"NOOOOOOOO! Cuh-Correct! That's five correct answers! You win~"

The room returned to being the one in the X-Naut base, and the metal monster removed his bowtie.

"I'm so mad right now! How could I LOSE! Fine then! Take THIS!"

He turned around, causing the second Elevator Key to pop up. Sonic walked over, picked it up, and stared at it.

"You wanna know what I think?"

"No," replied Samus. Sonic made a face.

"I was just going to say I wonder why rocks like to give quizzes while wearing bowties…"

That _was _kind of strange.

* * *

**Boss weekend's next weekend due to the next chapter being short and for lack of a Peach chapter. :P**


	68. At the Base of It All

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 67: At the Base of It All

Now with the next Elevator Key, they went back down to Sublevel 2 and went to the still locked Elevator. Mario stuck in the Elevator Key, then chose to go to Sublevel 3. It was basically empty, with X-Nauts flittering around the place but with teamwork, they were defeated without much problems. With them all out of the way, it was a clear path to the far left room- and one of the only on that floor.

"Okay…what's this!"

"It's another glowy floor room…"

"But why are the lights moving?"

Mario wasn't really paying attention until they spoke up- the blue squares on the floor were moving. On the other side, of course, was a gray chest.

Mario: I'm going in!

"I could always just float across!" Kirby suggested.

Mario: No.

He waited for the blue squares to return, then jumped on the only still safe square and followed the centipeding lights. They went up and down, back and forth, left right, and even did a loop. Mario had some close shaves with being electrocuted, but with his team cheering him on, he finally made it to the other side. Mario obtained a third Card Key and deactivated the floor. On his way back, he hit a "?" box and also claimed HP Drain…which they probably didn't need. But Mario took it anyway.

**Sublevel 3, Door on Far Right-**

With this door being the only other option, they obviously took it, and found three locks that required the card keys. Mario inserted the red, Samus the yellow, and Link the green, and the door unlocked itself.

"I'm not liking the looks of this room…" Spike trailed. "It's really complicated!"

"I bet it won't be that difficult…" answered Sonic, catching a vile another PHD threw and dumped it on the X-Naut. It sizzled under its own weapon and went defeated. Sonic chuckled and spun the bottle on his finger. "Talk about a taste of your own medicine!"

"…apparently X-Nauts must be worth quite a bit, because we've leveled up again already…" Link noticed.

"Nice!"

Mario, Link, and Samus took FP as Sonic and Kirby acquired HP.

"All right! Now let's figure this room out…" Link decided.

Mario grabbed Bobbery, threw him over a small fence, and activated a switch. A moving floor had turned on. Link just stared at it and made a face.

"…why do you always know what to do when I ask?"

Mario: Shrugs

He went paper thin, affecting everyone with his curse, then Kirby figured out they needed to use Vivian's power. She pulled them all into the shadows on the conveyor belt, which moved them under a concrete wall. Once beyond the blocker, there was a lift that almost smashed Vivian, but Kirby quickly pulled her out of the way.

"Be more careful next time, okay?" Kirby warned with a kind tone. Vivian just gave a light blush and nodded. They followed the rest of the group onto the apparently dangerous lift, leading to an area that led to another one, this one moving from right to left. Mario stepped on that one, let it bring him to the next part, and finished it off by leading everyone down a pipe.

Link instantly looked up and started doing a dance. "I see an Ultra Shroom! Let's get it! Let's get it!"

"Calm down Fido…"

Link ignored whoever said that and jumped onto the next left-right platform, jumped onto an up-down one, then worked his way over until he could reach his prize. He grabbed the green Shroom and tucked it safely away in his supplies.

"Another score!"

"Great Link. Now come back down to earth, M'kay?"

"Kill-joys…"

Nevertheless, Link returned to the group. Mario pointed forward once he was back, showing that they could get to the next area by using a large red gear. He demonstrated by jumping on one of the platforms, waiting until it rose, jumped onto the gear, went onto another one, then landed perfectly on another moving platform going up. Once he was safely across, everyone either copied Mario or went their own way to get over.

"I never thought I'd have to jump a gear before…" Bobbery commented. "I think I've done everything."

"Ah, don't say that! New things happen everyday!" Link replied cheerfully. "Now, more onward than before!"

Mario: Sigh

Now with everyone on the next solid red-bar platform, Mario carried on. The next set of moving yellow-and-black platforms were a little tricky, but everyone gained confidence by watching Mario make it across- and survive. All except Kirby, who just floated over to show off. Once on the other side of THAT, they reached a pipe!

"Okay! Now where and what do we do?" Koops asked, exiting the pipe in a casual awkward fashion. Mario looked up, seeing a card key lock (thing?) in front of a door, and recalling a blue card key somewhere beyond the current area. It was evident they obviously needed to get it.

"Awesome airplane ability pad- I mean, dreadful area where your terrible curse is effective Mario…" Link pointed out. Mario could see it without Link pointing it out, but it was his soreness about never getting a curse taking its toll. It would pass eventually.

Mario: Wa-hoo!

Using his "dreadful plane ability", Mario brought everyone into his little paper plane and flew across the are where a moving platform was waiting for them. Mario told everyone to stay where they were, but Kirby naturally didn't listen, flew over the platform, and smashed a hidden blue switch with his hammer.

"I've been waiting for a time to break the rules…" he sighed happily. A set of yellow metal stairs appeared, connecting the area with the card key lock to where another pipe sat. Mario ignored that pipe, climbed up the newly found stairs, fell to where the plane pad was, flew as far as he could go, and landed on the platform with the blue card key.

"I could've just done that, you know!" Kirby called.

"Yeah, but it takes away from the spirit of the adventure!" Samus threw in.

"So THAT'S why we're standing here why Mario gets to do all the hard work!"

"HEY! Why should we make it anymore complicated than it has to be? If it's a one man job, then it's a one man job! We'd just get in the way!"

"YOU GUYS!" Sonic yelled, getting them to stop. "If you weren't so busy bickering, again, you'd notice Mario made his way back already!"

Mario: Hey, it's me!

"Apologize, now!" Link ordered. Samus raised her hands.

"It wasn't that bad of an argument, and who are you, a teacher?"

Kirby, however, jumped up and surrounded himself around Samus' helmet. "I'm really sorry Sammy! Don't run away again, please? I just made a simple comment and-"

"Calm down and don't call me Sammy. It's worse than plain old Sam!"

"Do you forgive me?"

"yes, Pinkie, I forgive you…thought I suppose it was my fault- despite the fact it wasn't even a big deal!"

Sonic patted Samus on the back. "See? Now that's how you be a friend, Sam!"

Samus just sighed and smacked her head. "Please, go unlock the door Mario."

Mario: Okey dokey!

He led the gang up the golden steps, placing the card key into the lock. It turned green, and the door was now openable.

"You guys ready for whatever's in there?" Sonic asked.

"Come, it's us! We're ready for anything!" Link answered.

And with those words, Team Mario entered the room.

* * *

**Toldja it was short. :P Oh well- I hope the Boss battle and final Bowser Chapter make up for it! (Tomorrow and Sunday, people!)**


	69. Magnus Von Grapple 20: Here We Go Again

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 68: Magnus von Grapple 2.0: Here We Go Again

The room they entered was extremely large, slightly bigger than the room leading to Grodus' chamber. Dim spotlights hung from the ceiling, and the floor was probably the equivalent to a screen window. But the room's décor was not the main attraction…

"Buh! Buh! **Buh huh huh!** I've been waiting for you! Oh, MAN, have I been waiting! And I HAAAAATE waiting!"

"What is THAT supposed to mean?" several of the partners complained.

"Having you been waiting to give me back my Crystal Star," growled Link, brandishing his sword.

Lord Crump, who was standing on a platform in the middle-back of the room, just bellowed again. "Buh huh! I'll TELL you what it means! I used the Crystal Star to lure you here…so that I could take all YOUR Crystal Stars! How brilliant is that, huh? And you wanna know the best part? Your little Peachy girl, the rosy hedgehog, and the smart-mouthed blond aren't even here anymore!"

"so they WERE here!" gasped Samus. Link was getting even angrier.

"You X-Jerks better not have harmed Zelda at all, do you hear me?"

Sonic took a fighting stance and narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, the same goes for Amy Rose! Anything happens to them, we do the same to you!"

"You two don't even _acknowledge_ Peach anymore, do you?" sighed Samus. Mario shook his head to answer for them.

"What are you planning to do with them!" Kirby demanded to know.

"BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! Like I'd tell you the plan! That's novice-villain style! No, I won't be doing anything like that. Sorry, really, guys…so, ready for showtime?" Crump snickered.

"Only if THAT'S ready for a Showstopper!" sneered Spike, cracking his knuckles.

"Spike, Showstopper only works on enemies with 12 HP or lowers. This chump has to have at least 30 by now…" Sonic explained intelligently.

"Way to ruin my burn, man…"

"Hey! I rarely get to throw out a fun fact!"

"Yeah, that's Goombella's turf there-"

"HEY!"

"GUYS! Not that there's a non-threatening villain with a Crystal Star in front of us or anything!" Samus huffed.

Lord Crump took the opportunity to continue. "You guys are going to be the perfect workout for…Magnus von Grapple 2.0!"

"you can't be serious!" groaned Flurrie. He ran toward a black, red, and blue version of the wimpy pink original Magnus von Grapple. Everything had been upgraded. The white claws were now menacing red daggers, the exterior was much tougher, and it even had a threatening "2" on the front! Crump climbed in and started working the controls again.

"I hope you're up to the challenge…because this thing is raw horsepower, kiddies!"

Lord Crump jumped to their level in his upgraded machine, and everyone prepared for battle.

"I hate when bad guys never learn…" sighed Kirby.

"Buh! Buh! **Buh huh huh**! Yeah, last version was buggy, so we made improvements…one, two…or a DOZEN! Get ready for a whole new way to experience pain, you junior-varsity losers!"

"I say, old boy, I rather think YOU'RE going to be the one doing the suffering!" Bobbery snapped.

"Oooh, he told you!" added Goombella. "Ahem, anyway…the 2.0 has 70 HP instead of 30 and upped his attack power, making him slightly more challenging, but we've upgraded too, haven't we?"

Mario: Oh yeah!

He called forth the Ruby Star, ready to do Art Attack. The star floated toward the Magnus von Grapple 2.0 (holy mouthful) and Mario smirked while pointing his finger. Lord Crump just took one look and chortled.

"Buh huh huh! You serious? Pointing a finger ain't going to take ME out!" he boomed. Mario wove his arm in a circle, the crystal star following his movements. Every time it spun around the robot, it took little by little of its HP, and Lord Crump wasn't exactly prepared for that. After suffering a 8 HP worth of damage, and Mario having the Crystal Star return to him, Lord Crump knew it was time to break his baby in.

"Here it comes, suckers! Magnus Drill Attack!"

Flames emerged from the machines feet, and Lord Crump positions the two spiked hands above the head. He took off into the air, only to drill back down onto Mario and Goombella. Mario blocked, though Goombella took a bit of a blow.

"Yes…he's definitely stronger…" she wheezed.

"…and like you said, so are we!" Link exclaimed, flying forward and performing Great Spin. He did 9 damage, which wasn't even the fullest because it wasn't charged, and Bobbery added 6 with a Bomb. "We've just got to keep hitting him hard!"

"buh huh huh! Time to unleash some of the sweet special features on this bad boy!" Crump chuckled darkly. "Oh man, this is going to be so good…"

Link yelped and threw up his shield, but all Crump did was remove his hands…but the hands had 9 attack each!

"I'm really glad those didn't attack me…" whimpered Link, still behind the shield just in case. Sonic just snickered and jumped up for an Action Chain.

"no problem! I just bash 'em out!"

He charged like a blue lighting bolt into the first hand, giving a peace sign briefly in mid air, and then crashed into the other one, doing a one-handed handstand on it. Sonic did a brief flip to curl back up and hit the body of Magnus 2.0 twice.

"STYLISH!" cried Spike. The audience erupted in cheers and applause and filled up more of Mario's Star Power. Spike ran up, jumped, then fluttered, and did a triple flip in the air before Ground Pounding Magnus and beating it up even more. Crump just snickered, slightly bent Magnus forward, and a piece of the front flew off.

"What the heck?"

It turned into a spinning blade of death, which Sonic was fast enough to dodge and pull Spike to safety.

"talk about a close shave!"

"Yeah, good thing you "cut off"!" laughed Link. Sonic just blinked.

"Anyway…take it away Kirby!"

Kirby bounced while nodding. "Right back at ya Sonic! TAKE THIS, CREEP! I have nothing to swallow here, unfortunately, so fear the wrath of my Mega Slice! YAH!"

"He's very dramatic…" Ms. Mowz commented while sweat dropping. Kirby floated into the air, Final Cutter held high. When he came back down, the weapon made sharp contact with Magnus 2.0 and sent out a shockwave for extra damage. Vivian grinned and struck a pose.

"My turn!"

She snapped her finger, sending an explosive and dangerous amount of fire surrounding Magnus. Crump started crying out from the deep frying pain and even danced around to get the fire out.

"Augh! What's with you guys and these strong attacks!" he complained, not happy that he was now burned.

"buh huh huh…uh, crud. You guys should be little puddles of nothing by now…" Crump grumbled.

"Same goes for you!" sneered Samus, eager to get to her turn to finish the freak off. With the combination of the super-strong attacks, he was down to 16 HP already!

"Oh well. I've still got some tricks up my sleeve!"

He spread the Magnus' legs apart as a tube stuck out the back. He flew upwards, hidden from view briefly…and as slightly predicted, he sucked up some of the audience.

"buh! Buh! **Buh huh huh**! EAT THIS!"

"What in the world?" gasped Vivian.

Kirby frantically waved his arms. "Vivian!"

"Oh!"

She nearly tackled Kirby, pulling him down and bring him into the shadows to avoid the onslaught of audience members being chucked at them. However, the barrage was aimed at everyone else too.

"Oh, this is so not cool!" Link cried, getting hit in the face with a Bulky Bob-omb and slapped by a Crazee Dayzee.

"Tough it out, man!" Sonic called back, ducking under a Shy Guy but being knocked down a flying Spike who was hit with a koopa.

"yeah, seriously Link!" added Samus, fending herself and Ms. Mowz against random patrons. Vivian pulled Kirby out once the attack was over, and everyone glared at Crump. Samus revved up her cannon and almost cackled at how much damage she was going to do…until she realized she didn't have enough FP.

"OH COME ON!"

She swapped spots with Ms. Mowz, who ate a Maple Super and just barely gave Samus enough to do her normal missile.

"A lot of explosives DO take their toll!" scoffed Kirby while tisking. Samus gave a growl and shot Magnus in the dome, taking away 7 of the remaining HP and leaving 9. Crump went into the audience, and a few seconds later everyone was scrambling around to avoid being hit by people.

"Hurf hack…no…how…what? My sweet powered-up robot is on the ropes! This is wrong!" Crump complained. As a last resort, he shot his hands off. Nice. Mario decided the hands would go down with Lord Crump's robot, and went into a crouching position. Crump raised an eyebrow until Mario rose, disappearing up above until he came down hard onto Magnus 2.0, doing enough damage with the ultra jump to put it out of commission.

"BLARGH!"

The suit started glowing a bright white light and trembling uncontrollably.

Crump wailed "GRODUUUUUUUUUSSSSSS!" as his latest creation blew up into smoke. Link threw Bobbery just for the heck of it to add effect.

"Take that, Lord Rump Bump Lump Pump!" he heckled.

Everyone: *-.-

Lord Crump continued to wail, being literally flung out of the base, off the moon, to float aimlessly in space.

"won't be seeing him anytime soon!" chuckled Kirby. "He really SPACED out!"

Link, who was about to comment on having his joke stolen, froze when the final Crystal Star floated down from nowhere. It was just as sparkly and gorgeous as it had been in the sewers- and now it was his for the taking once again.

"My Crystal Star!" Link shrieked, eagerly running up and grabbing it. "Oh, how I missed you! I'll try not to let you out of my sight ever again!"

Mario tapped his shoulder and motioned for Link to hand it over- at least, just for a few seconds. Link could comply with that and gave his beloved crystal Crystal Star to Mario.

Mario: Yeah!

"We got a Crystal Star! Mario's Star Power is now 8, and he can now use the special move Supernova!" Link cried out for the final time.

The last Crystal Star had been hidden out on the moon…but by the time the group had recovered it, Team . had already been taken away. Where could they be now? And what of the elusive Grodus? Perhaps he holds the key to the remaining puzzle…they finally have all seven Crystal Stars, but where will they lead them next?

Probably into the Thousand-Year Door at last.

* * *

**Aw come on, this chapter's short too... oh well. Chapter 8 chapters are definitely more lengthy. o.O**


	70. Bowserly Hills

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 69: Boswer-ly Hills

"Well, we're here! Now where's this stupid Poshley Sanctum? A Crystal Star's there, right?" Bowser growled. They had just arrived in Poshley Heights, but unfortunately for Team Bowser they didn't take the Excess Express. And now they were slightly grumpy, especially after recovering a fake Crystal Star at the last place.

"Yeah, I'd really hate it if we were in the wrong spot…again…" huffed Ganondorf.

"So they say, your Putridness! And lo and behold, their it is! Right behind you!" Kammy cackled, pointing with her wand. Everyone turned to see the important looking building sitting quite obviously in the corner of the town. Bowser suddenly began chipper and grinned.

"Great! About time something worked out for ol' Bowser!"

Eggman coughed. "Ahem?"

"Fine, ol' TEAM Bowser. In we go!"

"Something's going to go wrong, I feel it…" sighed Ganondorf. Bowser whirled around and pointed a finger.

"Hey! What did I tell you about being a negative? You're ruining the enthusiasm!"

"What enthusiasm?" sneered Eggman.

"Yeah, especially since we can't even get in with the door locked!" added Ganondorf. Bowser just waved a hand and "Psh"ed.

"They're right, Your Chipperness!" Kammy squalled. Bowser roared and started stomping his foot in front of the door.

"DARN IT!"

"Oh no! Remember your blood pressure again!"

The lock couldn't take the force of Bowser's temper tantrum and broke, falling to the ground.

"The lock broke!"

Bowser stopped complaining and blinked before throwing his hands up happily.

"Whoa, baby! Awesome! It opened! Talk about lucky! I guess rage really paid!"

Ganondorf hid a snicker. "No it doesn't…"

"Let's just enter! If we don't get the Crystal Star, we can at least obtain some knowledge!" chortled Eggman.

"Oh whoo hoo. Everyone knows being evil is about brute force, not smarts. Being a nerd is not threatening."

"I can't believe this!"

"Look it up, bookworm!"

Bowser briefly breathed out fire. "Oh can it, you two! The Crystal Star is just down this long dramatic hallway!"

"Which leads to the only attraction in the entire building!" threw in the Dark Lord, dripping with fake enthusiasm.

"hmph. I'm already disappointed…" muttered Eggman.

"But we got a Crystal Star!" exclaimed Bowser, doing a voice similar to what Link did. "Yes, This is it, minions and Haggy! This is finally it!"

He laughed his trademark chuckle while raising the Crystal Star in a similar fashion to Mario.

"Gra ha ha ha ha ha! At last, I've got my mitts on a Crystal Star! YESSS!"

"Impressive work, Lord Bowser! You're the absolute best star-getting guy!" cheered Kammy.

Eggman and Ganondorf's eyes lit up.

"What do you know…we actually got one!" gaped Eggman. Ganondorf evilly rubbed his hands together.

"Now we can take it from him and use it to fulfill our plans and get the other 6 stars! Mwahahahahaha!"

Kammy gave a confused look to his twisted grin, which Ganondorf coughed and attempted to hide his expression completely.

And then Pennington walked up.

"You there! I have you now, villains! You…are common thieves! Aren't you? AREN'T YOU? My eyes never deceive!" he shouted.

"What are you implying?" Bowser snapped. I'm no little thief! I'm-"

"A remorseless King of Evil!" bellowed Ganondorf.

"A notorious evil genius?" wondered Eggman hopefully.

"KOOPA KOOT!" yelled Kammy.

"I am the great Lord Bowser, idiots!" Bowser finished, giving his team a look. "I'm taking this! Mess with me, and I'll Bowserize you to death!"

"Or you could just bore him to death!" murmured Ganondorf under his breath with a sly grin.

"Pennington nodded. "I see…unfortunately for you, that's a red herring. Yes, a fake. If you want it, it's yours."

Bowser, Eggman, Ganondorf, and Kammy and dropped their jaws, plus Bowser dropped the red herring. "WHUH-WHHAAAATT? A FAKE!"

"Not again!" shouted Eggman. "I can't belie-"

"Don't go down that road again. I told you we'd screw something up!"

Kammy wobbled up and stared Pennington down, the penguin just standing with an unamused expression. "But look at this fancy display! The pedestal and everything! It's so posh! If it's a fake, then where's the real one, huh?"

Pennington smirked. "If you must know, I gave the real one to Luigi, and his friend Malon, Miles, Meta Knight…and _Samus_…oh ho ho ho ho ho!"

"HEY! Don't you steal my stupid laugh!" Eggman stated, pulled out a laser of some sort.

Bowser's face stayed the same way (completely taken aback) for several minutes. "You have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that LUIGI beat me here?"

"And when the heck did Malon get all wrapped up in this!" Ganondorf boomed in a loud, outraged voice.

"Tails too!" Eggman exclaimed.

"Argh! Those Mario Bros. are the most annoying brothers of all time!"

Bowser once again started throwing a fit as Kammy mused the situation.

"Hmm…How bothersome…the fact that we keep getting outmaneuvered is disturbing. But where in the world could Mario and his brother and their teams be heading…where…"

Ganondorf threw up his hands. "Does it matter? My plans are completely trashed now. My hopes and dreams have officially crashed through a window-"

A loud window crash was heard seconds later, along with a high-pitched "Lord Bowser!"

A Paragoomba flew in and perched on Pennington's head.

Pennington: What the heck?

Kammy gave a nod. "Ah…Paragoomba! What are you so worked up over, hmm? Tell me!"

"Oh great- now there's flying mushrooms…" moaned Eggman.

"Now reporting sir! And uh, ma'am! And two other sirs! Sir, sir, sir, and ma'am! Team Mario's collected the seven Crystal Stars and are headed for the Thousand-Year Door!"

"HUH-WHAAAAATT! The Thousand-Year Door? What in the heck is that?" Bowser demanded to know. Kammy turned and explained.

"The Thousand-Year Door! An unbelievably legendary treasure is behind that door!"

"Yeah, and it require the Crystal Stars to open!" threw in Eggman. Bowser narrowed his eyes.

"YARGH! Then we're going there too! IMMEDIATELY! And I'm gonna RUIN Mario!"

Bowser stomped off, Kammy following close being. Ganondorf let out a football cheer!

"Yes! My dreams _did_ come through the window- in the form of a flying piece of fungus!" he started to shake Eggman. "If we meet up and destroy Team Mario, we can get all 7 Crystal Stars without any problems or interference with that buffoon of a turtle!"

Eggman gave a sinister grin. "Excellent. Our new world will be supreme, won't it?"

"Oh yes…" replied Ganondorf darkly, and they headed off quickly to follow Bowser. Even with a destination, they still needed to tag along with him for a bit longer…

The Paragoomba flew off Pennington's head, leaving the Bumpity all alone once again. He folded his flippers and look on at the group while whispering.

"…will you, now? Luigi! Well done lad! Way to not fail! …yet."

What did he mean by that?

* * *

**Way to not fail!...yet. XD I love that. Although that applies to me because I present you guys with yet another short chapter, followed by another next week and the week after! DX Please, bear with me, the chapters will pick up soon enough! (short chapters are a pet peeve of mine...) *bows to loyal and loving fans who she gives a ton of cookies and virtual cake and tons of thanks to because they helped give her 500 reviews***


	71. Nearing the End

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 70: Nearing The End

The group exited the battle room, looking very triumphant. They had finally got rid of Lord Crump, and now they had 7 Crystal Stars under their belt.

"We've finally got all 7 Crystal Stars! Corking!" exclaimed Bobbery. "Now we can open the Thousand-Year Door!"

"Whoa…he's right!" gaped Spike. "We're that far already?"

"We'll be seeing things that haven't been seen for a Thousand years…" Link realized.

"Ah, yes, but…" Bobbery continued. "We still don't know where Princess Peach and her team are…"

"The only thing we can do right now is simply go to Rogueport…" Kirby stated.

Mario: Uh-huh!

They went to the level with the teleporter room, but found that it was locked- along with all the other doors on the first 3 levels.

Vivian cocked her head. "That's really weird…"

"Wait…did we miss something on the 4th floor?" Sonic asked. "We didn't really explore there, did we?"

Samus typed something in on her scanner. "Uh…that'd be a no. And according to this Sublevel 4 contains the only unlocked door. We'd better check that out."

Link proudly stepped up and struck a pose. "I got this!"

**Sublevel 4's Hallway-**

"Dah!" "Oh, I don't like teleporting…"

Link just scoffed. "It makes everything so much easier though!"

Mario frowned a little as he made his way to the right. Link tilted his head like Vivian had done previously.

"What's up with you Mario?"

"You forgot he can't teleport…" grumbled Samus, hitting him with her cannon. "Jerk!"

"Ow! It wasn't intended!"

"I think it's a good thing…" Sonic admitted.

"Why?"

The hedgehog shrugged. "He won't end up like us…"

Kirby threw in, "You say it like it's a bad thing!"

Sonic shrugged again. "Well, whatever. Let's just figure out a way to get off the moon…"

Mario gave a firm nodded and opened the door at the far end of the hall. It was darker than the rest of the rooms, but that was simply because not much power was currently running at the moment. As a matter of fact, beeping started up, and the lights flashed on instantly.

"Whoa…" "Double weird…"

"You…are Mario…are…you not?" said a robotic voice. Kirby yelped and jumped into Vivian's arms.

"Oh man, what was _that?"_

"I think it was that computer!"

"I think you're right…" Goombella replied as the gang gathered in front of it. Mario nodded to responded to the computer's question.

"It…it is pleasant to meet you…and your team…I…am the main computer of this fortress. I am…TEC."

"You're the computer helping Team Z.A.P. out!" Link realized. TEC would've nodded.

"I must tell you something…that is why…I brought you to this place…Princess P-Peach…..."

The screen flickered for a moment, and Mario asked what was wrong.

"I…am so s-sorry…Most of my data was…e-erased…and my main power unit was…shut down…now running on backup power with…only cached memory…trying to stay…operational…"

"I never thought I'd feel bad for technology…" Link sighed.

Sonic shook his head. "Tails would so be all over this…"

"M…Mario…You know that Peach and her friends are not here, do you not?"

"Yes, we were informed," answered Flurrie.

"Please save Peach…please…please…Princess Peach is…with Grodus in….the Palace of Shadow…her friends were…never meant to be captured…but Grodus took them anyway too. I…had to tell…you that…"

The screen went fuzzy again, and all of Team Mario exchanged glances.

"But…backup…power…failing…Mario…use the...teleporter room to…get back to Rogueport. Teleporter room is on…sublevel…2...of fortress. I will release…the room lock."

"Peach is in the Palace of Shadow?" Spike asked. "That's definitely got a creepy ring to it!"

"Please hurry…there is barely enough…power left…to activate the teleporter. I will…ceases all Al functions…to send power to… the teleporter…for you."

"What'll happen to you?" Samus wondered.

TEC made a sighing sound. "When the power is all gone, I will…cease to exist…as an artificial consciousness. But…if it will…save Peach…then I…will gladly do this. Because until I met peach and her friends…I knew nothing of…love…do not worry…about me…I am just a computer…just…a…machine…Mario…you must save Peach…I ask of you…please…and tell her…thank you for me…."

Mario nodded.

"We will, TEC." Everyone said together. TEC wished he could smile right now.

"So…hurry to the teleporter room…now…Mario…save…her…"

He officially went off line, and the entire base was now a hue of red.

**Sublevel 2-**

No one said anything on the way up to the teleporter room. Mario hit the button activating the teleporter and, after Kirby made a statement as to why they just didn't teleport themselves, entered the machine and returned back to Rogueport.

…

"Peach…good-bye…"

The X-Naut Fortress blew up.

…

"Did anyone else hear something, or was that just me?"

Mario just tilted his head unsurely.

"I think I might've…" trailed Link. He opened the green door, which as previously predicted, led into Rogueport sewers.

"Well, if it isn't Team Mario!" Frankly exclaimed, standing by the fountain. "Over here, son!"

"Odd, but okay…"

"You brought the Crystal Star back from the moon with you, didn't you?" he continued.

"Of course we did! It's MY star anyway…" scoffed Link, even holding it out to show off.

Mario explained about how the X-Naut Fortress was on the moon too.

"So, Princess Peach and her little gang were there too, I assume?"

Link shook his head, hiding a smirk. "Well, you know how the saying goes…"

Goombella groaned. "Oh please don't bring that up again!"

"No, they weren't there!" Kirby answered quickly. "The big bag guy took them to the Door of 1,000 Years…"

"Ah-HAAAAA! Just a bit ago, I smelled some rank air and went to the Thousand-Year door…I saw a suspicious fellow in a cape and two X-Nauts go through the door…with Princess Peach's team!"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait…how did they even get in the door without the seven Crystal Stars?" questioned Sonic. Kirby jumped up and took a fighting stance in front of Frankly.

"You're looking awfully suspicious pal…" he said while squinting his eyes. Frankly shook his head.

"Believe me, I know, but I'm quite certain of it! I saw it with my own eyes! I have a very bad feeling about this. VERY bad! Princess Peach's group is in danger!"

"Tell us something we don't know!"

"Time is short! We must go to the Thousand-year Door and save them! I'll run ahead and meet you there! Don't dawdle! You must come immediately!"

"Well, we'll be dawdling a little, because SOMEONE needs to level me up!" exclaimed Goombella. Link gave a heavy sigh.

"Fine, fine, I catch your drift…we'll meet you guys at the door, okay?"

Mario: Okay!

"I'll gather last-minute supplies too, so don't worry about that either!"

Goombella anxiously shoved Link forward. "Let's go already! Chop chop!"

"Urgh…don't open the door without us!"

"We wouldn't be able to anyway…" muttered Samus.

While Link and Goombella did last minute things, the rest of the team made their way to the Thousand-Year Door. That door was what stood between them, and the rescue of Team Z.A.P. and stopping the X-Nauts. The thought of a demon resurrection was enough to scare anybody, but what made it worse was when it was up to you to stop it.

Mario was actually slightly nervous.

**Thousand-Year Door moments later-**

Everyone waited around until Link teleported back with Goombella. His face was twitching.

"I got A LOT of Jelly Ultras…hehehehehe! And some other little things…and a few Thunder Rages and Shooting Stars. But most Jelly Ultraz!"

"Oh great- now he's ending things with the letter Z…"

Goombella struck a pose. "Now I'm all Ultra and important!"

"What kept you Link?" Frankly asked frantically. Link held up one of his treasures.

"Jelly Ultraz…"

"Yeah, Mario's going to hang onto the bag, okay…" said Sonic while swiping the bag once again and handing it to the plumber.

"…well it doesn't matter now. I don't think the X-nauts are in the vicinity anymore. They must have found another way to get through the door…"

"Isn't that impossible, though?" Kirby tried to point out to Frankly, but was ignored. The old Goomba was bent on the excitement of the upcoming event. Mario, Link, Sonic, Kirby, and Samus climbed onto the center pedestal, preparing to open the door.

"It's all come down to this! Hurry now, Mario! Hold aloft the seven Crystal Stars!"

Link took a deep breathe. "I can't believe we're doing this…"

"I can! I just can't believe we're here already…" replied Sonic.

"There'll be enemies tougher than we've ever faced before…" Kirby trailed.

Samus had to smirk. "…and that's why you've got me!"

"We can do it!" chimed the partners.

Mario: Here we go!

For the final time, the fancy blue lights danced in their recognizable patterned on the cement. Mario held up his favored Diamond Star. Link had the Emerald and Crystal, since the Crystal was originally his and the Emerald reminded him of Zelda. Sonic and Kirby held the Gold and Ruby, because they represented the places where they shone the most. Samus had control over the Sapphire and Garnet- the Garnet had come from Poshley Heights which she somehow adored, and the Sapphire Star was a symbol of how she had helped the gang out at Keelhaul Key. With all seven stars united, the Crystal Stars flew to their respective places around the circle. Everyone could feel the power radiating as the stars began to open the door. A small quake came after.

"Oh man…" whimpered Koops.

"Look! The door!"

In the order they were collected, was the order their individual seal lit up on the large, faded, brick-red door. First, a white seal for the Diamond. Second, a green seal for the Emerald. Followed by yellow for Gold, red for Ruby, blue for Sapphire, orange for Garnet, and a soft pink for Crystal. The door itself stared to flash, taking everyone aback.

And even more unexpected, the frame around the door broke in four huge cracks.

"Whoa!" "Wasn't expecting that…"

The door slowly opened on its own, a purple mist building below and pouring out. The area beyond the door was a swirling portal, ready to take them to the Palace of Shadow.

"At long last, the entrance to the palace of shadow has been open!" gasped Frankly. "Before Princess Peach falls victim to that fiend…before he takes over the worlds…you must rescue the girls and stop this cataclysm!"

Mario gave a heroic nod.

"We're ready Mario!" said all partners. Then, they blinked and turned to each other.

"Why do we keep saying the same thing at the same time?" asked Vivian.

"Beats me." shrugged Spike.

"The only thing left to do now is enter…" Kirby trembled, peering into the shadowy darkness. Mario asked everyone if they were ready.

"I'm ready! Bring it on!" "Yeah!" "I've handled much worse…" "Better now than never!"

Mario had to tell himself he was ready, then took the first steps into a place that hadn't seen light in a thousand years…

And the door shut behind them.


	72. Diving into the Shadow Palace

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 71: Diving into the Shadow Palace

"Uh…this place is unsettling…but we have no choice!" stated Vivian. "We have to get in there and save Peach, Zelda, and Amy before things get even more out of control! Let's go!"

Everyone agreed and took the first few steps into the Palace. The entry hall wasn't much, but the next area had more to show. It was nothing more than a long fight of stair, with gray Swoopers known as Swoopulas soaring down to try and take a bite out of the heroes' heads. They were no match for Samus, and all bats in the area met their fate via missile in their face. When they reached the next door, the team was instantly met with a Shooting Star in a ? box!

"Yes! Another awesome addition to our item collection!" Link cheered while putting it away in his now empty bag.

"Don't you think it's more of a bad sign that something…bad is coming up?" questioned Koops.

"No, not really…"

"Just trying to get you prepared for anything!"

A bone suddenly clonked Link in the head, knocking him down.

"How did it prepare me for that?"

"Uh…"

"Oh wow! A Dry Bones!" gasped Goombella. "They're tougher versions of Dull Bones- Dull Bones are Dry Bones that have been dead longer, you know. That's what makes them weaker."

"Thank you for the trivia…" muttered Link as Bobbery blew a duo of Dry Bones into dust. Samus blasted another Swoopula, and more Dry Bones were met on a lower floor. This time Vivian beat a trio of the bones with a deadly Fiery Jinx.

"…Okay I'm bored." sighed Sonic. "So much for deadly enemies tougher than we ever faced, huh Kirby?"

"Hey! We _just _started!"

"Yeah, it's not our fault that not every moment of your life can be filled with excitement…" threw in Samus. Link and Goombella exchanged glances. "…and besides- can't you hear the Bullet Bill cannons down there? That's already a bad sign."

Everyone got quiet, and found that Samus was right and that there were cannons blasting down below. Sonic looked over the edge to see for himself and grinned eagerly.

"Then why are we waiting around? Let's get down there and beat them senseless already!"

Sonic bolted, and Link fell onto the ground, once again missing a chance to stop his hyperactive friend. Kirby scrambled over Link, making the Hero of Time yelp, and Samus wanted so badly to step on Link, but he definitely wouldn't have survived that.

"Oh yay- they're gold again!" wailed Sonic as he Spin Dashed any golden bullets coming their way, making his way to the cannons stylishly.

"Sometimes he is such a showoff…" Samus output while firing a Super Missile at the cannons from far away.

"That reminds me, Samus…" Ms. Mowz started while stealthily landing on Samus' head. "I don't think I've ever seen you do a Stylish Move!"

Samus froze while Link barked out a laugh. "That's because she can't!"

"I can too-"

"-just not as well as the rest of us!"

Samus growled and took out her anger by hitting a Bill that Sonic was headed for, but resulted in the hedgehog falling painfully on the floor. Mario whistled.

"But anyway Ms. Mowz…we all have Battle Skills and Weaknesses. I'm capable of super strong attacks, but I'm a terrible super guarder-my timing is awful. Kirby, on the other hand, is amazing at Superguarding, but sometimes he can't attack very well. Mario's got the ability to use any Star Powers and we don't, but we can use them if he's helping us…not to mention he doesn't really have any other pro or cons…"

Mario: Strikes a pose

"And Sonic," Samus sneered. "…is a complete stylish fool but his defense is slightly lower than the rest of us, unlike me and my super-high defense-"

"-and lack of stylishness!" coughed Kirby, slapping Link a secret high-five.

"Way to explain that…" grumbled Sonic after doing a backflip in the air and landing one handed on a moving Bullet. "That's only because I rely on speed to avoid attacks. I only take 'em head on if I need to."

Ms. Mowz was plainly amused. "Well! I'd still like to see Samus do something stylish-"

"-and you probably never will. Now get ready to fight those Golden Blasters."

"Whatever…" Ms. Mowz shrugged and flipped off Samus' head. Sonic put on a smug look as Samus refrained from shooting him. Mario jumped ahead of everyone and did a devastating Ultra Hammer first strike to the upgraded cousins of the Bullet Bill Blaster. He did a flip and spun around, giving him a stylish. Samus smacked her head. For Mario's official turn, he used Link's Shooting Star to drain the cannons to very low HP. Goombella used her turn to get info on the cannons, allowing them to send out Bombshell Bills to attack. Link stepped up and did Great Spin to finish both cannons off, since that was the only move that would destroy both at once, while Bobbery didn't want to waste the FP for Bomb-ombast and just defended himself. One Bill rammed straight into Link and blew up, while he managed to guard against the second, but noticeably not Superguard.

"Nice. All that hard work and I didn't even get to fight…" sighed Sonic.

"Hard work? You were putting on a circus act!" Samus snapped.

"That's still more than you can do, sister."

"Ooh, he's got you there-"

Samus glared at a smirking Ms. Mowz.

"See? I even have your own partner to back me up!"

Mario prevented the highly possible explosion from a small cannon by hurrying everyone into the next room. It was simple…too simple. Mario found this highly suspicious-along with Sonic- and took cautious steps across the floor, and ignored the urge to go whack a red block off to the side. A square section of spike popped up from the floor, right in front of Mario.

"Again, very unsettling…" gulped Vivian. Mario walked around the spike trap and received an All or Nothing badge…then pressed forward.

"Something tells me there's a certain way to get through this room…" Kirby pondered.

"And you're probably right!" exclaimed Flurrie.

Samus groaned. "As always…"

She got rid of swooping threats as everyone followed Mario who was attempting to navigate the floor. He went back around the first spike trap, then watched his step quite carefully after that. Link ran into spikes twice, and Bobbery by pure accident once, and they had to make it to the other side of the room by themselves.

"Left…right…no, up…AII!"

Link reeled his foot back just before it was stabbed with a spike. He sweat dropped.

"This room is really annoying…"

When Link at last returned to the other side- with help from Kirby- more of the Palace of shadow was entered. A long narrow path lie before them, along with classic turning flames scattered along it. Mario expertly made his way through them, Sonic naturally had to do flips over them, Kirby floated across, and Samus and Link assisted the partners in getting through. Toward the middle was a larger fire bar and a green lava bubble/ember waiting for them.

"Phantom Ember!" cried Goombella. "I absolutely LOVE that shade of green!"

"And I absolutely LOVE the ability its going to give me!" added Kirby, swallowing the Ember and becoming Phantom Ember Kirby- which is a mouthful of a title. Sonic then took his official turn, but first swapped with Spike so Spike could use his Ultra Move.

"I'm just curious, if truth be told," Sonic stated casually.

Spike gave a loud sharp whistle, and within moments a horde of older Yoshis came stampeding in and trampled all over the little flame of fire. The Ember was left with one HP, which Sonic carefully depleted with a well-placed kick- and he also couldn't resist a Stylish move. Samus just made a face as they collected their Star Points.

"That was interesting…" Goombella trailed, scribbling down all the info from the enemy. Good thing you didn't use fire on it- it would've healed AND multiplied itself!"

Vivian gulped. "Another hindrance for me, I suppose…"

"You can flame me Vivian!" Kirby exclaimed, trying to cheer her up. "I'm a Phantom Ember now too, so maybe I'll heal and multiply too!"

"…I can still burn you, Kirby."

"Oh. Well, I tried."

He bounced to the next portion of the area, where fire bars were coming AT them instead of in a spinning fashion. Some were low, while others were too high to jump over OR duck under. Mario used his Tube curse to get everyone to safety, then rolled off. He jumped over low flames and rolled under high ones with ease. Within moments, the next door had been reached.

"All right, what else is this place going to throw at us?" Spike wondered when they rolled out of tube form. The room was pretty empty, which was at the same time suspicious.

"I hope there's not more spikes…" mumbled Link. Mario glanced around until they reached the other side- where a blue Dry Bones was laying front of a locked door.

"Just like in Hooktail Castle…" trailed Koops. "Hoo, still gives me bad vibes!"

"Except the Dry Bones there was Red Bones…" Goombella added. "…and this is a deadly Dark Bones!"

The pile of bones started to rattle, and even so much as groan. "Glurgh…blurgh…none shall pass by…let those who disturb her in her sleep fall into the depths of endless darkness…"

Dark Bones jumped up and ran off as normal Dry Bones fell from the sky, filling the once empty room with unliving koopas.

"May the intruder never find the key to this door…"

Samus charged a beam and shot a path right through the Dry Bones. "Okay, this is interesting…"

"We've gotta find that creep!" Kirby exclaimed, blowing green fire in every direction. Everyone was using their strongest attacks to get rid of the Dry Bones so they could find Dark Bones, except Mario who was jogging around, staying on Dark Bones' trail. Every once in awhile, he'd avoid a Great Spin or Gale, a Whirlwind or Bomb-ombast, and green flames and several smacks. With another devastating Charge Beam from Samus, the room was mostly cleared and there was nowhere for Dark Bones to hide. Mario jumped him instantly and began a battle.

"Okay, let's see…Dark Bones has 20 HP, and is obviously stronger than a normal Dry Bones- or any type. Just beat the heck out of it and we'll be fine. Better recommended if burned to ashes."

"…nice Tattle Goombella."

"I'm just stating good strategies!"

Mario pondered over what to do before deciding on using one of his own Shooting Stars. It sent the four Dull Bones to 2 while Dark Bones remained unphased with 14. All the Dull Bones chucked bones at Mario, along with Dark Bones, but his had multiplied attack power. Link defeated the front two Dry Bones with Jab, then Bobbery attacked with Mega Bomb. Only the Dark Bones was left standing with 7 HP.

"Let's hope I can pull off four in a row!" Sonic prayed, jumping up to use Action Chain. Bam, bam, bam, and BAM…followed by an incredibly stylish break dancing move on the unresponsive Dark Bones skull. Mario receive a ton of Star Power, though he didn't really need it.

"Level up! Level up!" cried Vivian.

"That's why they call her a Shadow Siren!" cackled Link. Samus shook her head.

"Still undeniably terrible."

"Critic!"

Mario, Link, Kirby, and Sonic received FP while Samus took the opposite.

Any remaining Dry Bones scurried off, along with an ashamed Dark Bones, dropping the key to the door behind. Mario scooped it up and held it proudly.

"You got a Palace Key! It obviously opens that door on the other side of the room!"

"It looks more like a skeleton key to me! Get it?" laughed Link, attempting another joke.

"See, now your taking other people's material!" cried Goombella.

"Aw whatever…Mario, just unlock the door."

Mario: Okay!

He went up to the large silver lock, stuck in the key, turned it, and at the same time unlocked another part of their escapade in the palace…


	73. The Tail of Gloom and Its Doom

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 72: The Tail of Gloom and Its Doom

Upon entering the area beyond the once locked door, the gang claimed from a ? Block…an Ultra Shroom that Link wasted no time in claiming for himself-and Mario's inventory was full anyway. Now with a green and powerful Shroom, they forged forward…but didn't get very far.

"HIT THE FLOOR!"

Crashing to the plush red carpet ground, everyone just barely avoided contact with Bombshell Bills.

"Another round of these?" Samus pondered while getting up. "This place is lame."

Kirby removed his Phantom Ember ability and swallowed an oncoming Bullet. Now, he was Bombshell Kirby and could fly around and hit things with a lot of force!

"Okay, you gotta admit, this is kinda cool!" Kirby chuckled, colliding with a fellow bullet and taking it out. Samus smirked and charged up her cannon.

"Not as cool as-"

"-THIS! Hyah!"

Sonic jumped in from nowhere, flew past Samus, kicked a Bullet right back from where it me from, and blew up one Blaster. Samus' cannon let out a small puff of smoke.

"Jealous, aren'tcha hon?" Ms. Mowz teased from the side. Samus swatted at the rat, but the efforts were pointless.

"Shut up!"

"high defense definitely can't do that-"

"Do you want to become mouse dust?"

Ms. Mowz stared at her paw and shrugged. "Doesn't really matter to me. Either way you'll still be annoyed!"

"Grr! I refused to be outspoken by a white rat!" she hissed through her teeth while stomping off. "Stupid Sonic…"

"Hey Samus! Do you want to-" Link started.

"NO!"

"Holy Goddess! I was just wondering if you wanted to finish off the cannon! No need to blow up on me!"

Samus, still staring darkly at Link, lifted her right arm and fired a massive shot that left golden nuggets where the second Bombshell Blaster once stood.

"How's that?"

"Good, good…just don't hurt me…"

The rest of the room had Bombshell obstacles-two more sets to be exact- and it was a race to see who could beat them senseless first and in the coolest way possible. Link was kicking Koops faster than Sonic could run, but only because Sonic was doing skating spins and matrix moves in the air to avoid Kirby's Bullet move. And all three were trying to dodge Samus and her mad barrage of missiles and beams. At one point, she had curled up into her Morph Ball form and zigzagged up to the cannons, but Mario of all people had beat her. With a combination of Thunder Rage from Goombella and a quadruple stylish Piercing blow from Mario, the cannons were toast within mere moments. Mario landed, arms poised above his head, and smirked.

Mario: I win!

"I'll get the last one!" Sonic called, free-falling onto the lower portion of the room. Kirby flew down the stairs to get behind Sonic to ram him, and Link, Samus, and Mario used Sonic's method.

"Wouldn't it be really weird if I beat them all by myself?" Goombella sighed.

"Weird? It's hardly possible!"

Goombella made a face. Mario Spring Jumped over everyone while Samus used her Morph Ball method again. Link rapidly slashed through Bullets, one time accidentally whacking Kirby and sent him flying out of control into Sonic. Sonic lost the groove of his sprint and tripped over Samus' Morph Ball, kicking her backward into Mario and having both of them fall into a heap. Link was clear for the cannons until Kirby, in a last attempt, stuck out his little arm for Link to trip on-and, of course, it worked.

"When did this get so lethal?" gasped Flurrie.

"When we got bored…" Sonic murmured, pulling himself from under Kirby and still going for the gold blasters. Samus returned out of ball form and saw Sonic still going for the cannon. She fired a highly charged Charge Beam and hoped for the best. The light projectile went flying past Sonic who had jumped up for a Spin Dash, and took our both blasters in one devastating hit. Sonic, once again, hit the ground unintentionally, and Samus actually laughed.

"What's so hilarious?" Sonic sneered, quickly jumped back up and folding his arms.

"My Charge beam just beat the supposedly fastest thing alive-"

"I am capable of running at over 600 mph, and I'm fairly certain your beam cannot break the sound barrier."

"I still won!"

"Nuh-uh! It wasn't stylish! It doesn't count!"

"Why did we agreed to do something stupid like this?" asked Kirby, rubbing his bullet Bill head.

"Because we are stupid?" Link replied, getting up from not too far away. Mario, meanwhile, slammed his Ultra Hammer into the wall to stop Sonic and Samus' argument over whether Samus won the competition or not. Link pulled Samus away while Kirby grabbed Sonic and forced them into the next room.

"Sheesh! You two fight like a married couple!" snorted Spike.

"Oh, ha ha. I should say the same about you and Link!" huffed Sonic, dusting the dust off his quills.

"Don't drag me into this one!" Link called after claiming another Jammin' Jelly. Once Samus cleared the area of foes, Mario led the ground into yet another area…which had a room just like one back in Bowser's Castle: there was one path, and if they went the wrong way they'd have to start over.

"Talk about de ja vu: first recolored enemies, now something we've seen in Bowser Castle!" Kirby sighed. "What'll they do next?"

"How did you guys solve it last time?"

"I used my awesome adventuring senses…" replied Link in attempt modest fashion. Samus rolled her eyes.

"Too bad Lakilester didn't think so!"

As Link shook a fist, Vivian asked how they were supposed to get through this time.

"there's always trial and error…" suggested Sonic.

"I can just scan where to go," Samus stated bluntly.

"but that takes out the pizzazz!" whined Link.

"What did I just say about not every moment can be exciting?"

"You told Sonic that, for the record!"

Samus ignored him and instantly swapped to a combo of her Scan and X-Ray visors.

"The first two doors we go through are the ones straight ahead. Pretty basic, if you ask me."

**Two Doors Later-**

"You know, remember how Lakilester said the way we should go last time was by following the torches?" asked Kirby. Samus scanned the next way to go while nodding.

"Up."

"Well, do you think maybe the same rules apply this time?"

Samus glanced to her left to see a lit up torch next to the correct door. Kirby did a touchdown dance.

"Score another one for KIRBY!"

After Mario led them through the "up" door, they followed the lit torches to the doors in the order of "up", "down", "up"… and "down".

"That was a seriously wimpy puzzle. Honestly, Bowser Castle was way more challenging!" Sonic complained.

"That's because you were following Link that time around," smirked Goombella. Link ignored her comment and gazed at the large area before them.

"That's certainly unexpected…"

A large blue building sat in the middle of a small area of water, guarded by Chomps and symbolized by a statue with three Crystal Stars stacked upon each other. There was currently no way to enter the place, but it was striking obvious that it held importance.

"We get out of one strange room to find another…"

"…and another…" repeated Spike.

"…and another…" finished Ms. Mowz.

"It's almost like an underground city…" Vivian trailed. "What IS this place?"

"Isn't the Palace of Shadow technically in the remains of the town that got destroyed?" questioned Goombella. "That would explain why it seems a little city like. Oh, by the way…use Bobbery to blow up those stone Chomp heads blocking the pipes."

Mario looked over to area to see that, indeed, there were two stone Chomps blocking two different pipes, but both led to two blue switches in the background. He blew up the first, when down the pipe, hit the first, switch, found a boat dock, and returned. Link glanced toward the structure and made a face.

"Something tells me there's another boat dock under the triple star statue out there too…just another chance for a curse!"

"I don't think we go in there…" Koops trailed. "At least, not yet."

"Why not?" everyone asked in union. Koops scratched the back of his head.

"B-because maybe its just some building…and the door just up ahead isn't locked, which means we must be able to go on through there."

Kirby rubbed his chin- or at least the area where a chin should be. "Hmm…that does make at least a spot of sense…"

"I say go through the door! I'm getting a risky vibe from it!" voted Sonic eagerly. "There's gotta be something interesting in there for sure!"

"Or something the opposite of awesome as in brutally terrifying…but whatever!"

Once Mario hit the second switch (and after they brutally owned two Chomps via Showstopper), the door that seemed like the obvious choice was taken. Mario could feel it too, that it was like it was better to go through there first, rather than sail to the building in the water.

Either way, they were bound the explore both at some point. It was what they did: adventure.

…

The first hall was like nothing at first, until some purple alien thing approached them looking angry at being disturbed. Since it was something they had never seen before, they decided to have a go at it.

"Dark Wizzerd…" Goombella stated matter-of-factly. "…quite annoying. I'd say use the totally awesome Showstopper, but-"

"Forget that!" cried Samus, Kirby, Sonic, and their partners.

"-well, okay, but its got a pretty high defense…you'll only do one point of damage per hit!"

The trio froze. "Um, never mind that then…"

"Jump attack!" Link wailed, jumping into action with Hack. The increased power of the mid-air move came crashing down on the Dark Wizzerd…for a measly three compared to what Link was capable of. "Oh come on!"

"Perhaps this'll help you old boy!" Bobbery exclaimed, preparing Bob-ombast. Link instantly stopped him.

"No! Don't waste anymore FP than necessary! It's already pretty strong- no use in exhausting all our power on it!"

Bobbery gave a nod and simply bombed instead. His move also did three, leaving 4 for the Wizzerd. Link instantly threw up his shield to defend against the Wizzerd's dark magic before Sonic attack. With a 3 combo Action Chain, the Wizzerd turned into Star Points.

"That didn't seem too tough!" smirked Sonic.

"Just wait until you have to deal with more than one! Urgh, just thinking about that aggravates me!" groaned Goombella. "They…yeah, I'm not even going to go into detail…"

Mario said whatever was up ahead would be no big deal and entered the next hall. Again, mainly empty with the exception of a Chomp. This was also taken care of via Showstopper- hey, it WAS only worth two SP! Two halls after that contain nothing…next had two Embers…and the room that lie at the end of the long corridors was just bursting with a dark aura.

"You think we found the demon?" gulped Kirby.

"I'm sure if we did, it'd be much more fancy, dear…" Flurrie replied.

Samus checked up on some incoming readings. "Yeah, but there's still a ton of dark energy behind the door."

Sonic and Spike instantly bolted through the door. "Bring it on!"

"You idiots!"

The rest of the team rushed after them, only to tumble into a pile at the sight of a massive dragon that resembled Hooktail greatly…but was much darker in color.

"Who are you?"

"AAAAHHH! Hooktail returned from the dead!" wailed Link and Koops.

"No one's disturbed me here in eons!" the deep dragony voice bellowed, echoing off the empty room's walls. "Who dares defile this sacred place?"

"Now, who's this dragon fellow?" wondered Bobbery. "I say, isn't that Hooktail, the fellow you beat before?"

"It's gotta be…right? But I KNOW we defeated him!" exclaimed Goombella.

This dragon was completely shocked. "WHAAAAATTT? You destroyed my precious younger sister!"

"Hooktail WAS a girl!" cheered Link, completely out of the moment.

"Wait, you're Hooktail's brother?" asked Flurrie.

"But what if "he" is a girl too…" pondered Kirby, putting on a thoughtful look.

"No, I'm sure this guy's a…guy…"

"I wondered why she hadn't written recently-"

"…how the heck do you get a letter in the Thousand Year Door?"

"Stealing material again, Link…"

"Quake in fear mortals! For I am Gloomtail! I will avenge my sister by taking your lives…and then gnaw on your bodies!"

"Uh, no thanks…"

"My first fresh meat in ages!"

"Don't you mean a thousand years?"

"Allow me to take my time…and toy with you awhile!"

"Okay Goombella! Stats!"

Goombella made a slight face and started flipping around in her book. "Gloomtail, 80 HP, attack ranges from 8 to 10...defense 2...and he has a charge attack which adds 8...and he has a nasty stomp and poison breath AND a poison bite!"

"Oh, why'd you have to tell us THAT!"

Mario ignored Goombella's upcoming rage outburst and thought up a plan. He could use Power Lift to boost his power before using Supernova, but it'd wear off before it was his turn again. Easy to say, he'd just use Supernova.

"Oh yeah! Crystal Star time!" Link said while dancing.

"Wait, do you mean "Crystal Star" time as in Crystal Stars in general, or Crystal Star as in which Crystal Star you're talking about-"

"Oh, quiet Koops. Does it really matter?"

"Yes because you got my name right! Hooray!"

Mario pulled out their most recent Crystal Star and held it above his held. Slowly, he started to rise in the air and even began to shine a little bit. Mario focused all his energy, slowly charging the Star's power. With every bit of power obtain, a "line of attack" went through Gloomtail. By the time Mario had strained to reach "Excellent" status, he had to release his grip and let loose the power of the Crystal Star. With a glass-shattering boom, 15 HP had been knocked off from Gloomtail.

Sonic whistled. "Definitely our strongest attack, if I do say so myself!"

"It's got the same attack max as my Great Spin though!" bragged Link.

"Only if you pull it off…" trailed Samus. "…which is really rare-"

"Who asked you?"

Mario returned back to the stage and prepared for whatever attack Gloomtail was going to dish out. He took a deep breath, and blasted foul smelling flames unto Mario and Goombella. Lucky, two of the badges Mario definitely made sure to have were the Feeling Fine and the Feeling Fine P- so they couldn't be poisoned by Gloomtail's rancid breath.

"Hack! Cough! Wow…I know you've been here a thousand years, but get some mouthwash!" snapped Goombella.

"Or a breath mint!" threw in Link, performing another Hack for 7 damage. Bobbery lowered their FP even more with Mega Bomb for an equal amount of damage. Gloomtail showed the dup with another round of toxic breath, which Link nearly passed out for.

"Goombella certainly wasn't kidding! Whew!"

"I really hope he does something different for me!" Sonic prayed. "…well, I suppose I haven't used this in awhile. SONIC BOOM!"

With a single step, Sonic bolted forward and shook the entire mass that was Gloomtail with the aftereffect of the Sonic Boom for 6 damage, then went he came back he hit the dragon with a fierce punch for 5.

"11! Not bad Big Blue!" chuckled Spike. Sonic braked and took a bow.

"Thank you, my dear Spike!"

"Stylish!"

Spike jumped up and fluttered above Gloomtail for a devastating Ground Pound, doing 6. Instead of crying out in fear, Gloomtail laughed.

"Gwahahahaha! You are tough meat, my tasty morsels! But how will you fare against THIS?"

He jumped up, briefly disappearing, then came back down for a huge attack of 9 on EVERYONE.

"That almost makes me want the bad breath. Almost…" wheezed Sonic.

Kirby took a look at the dragon and felt really small. "There's no way I can swallow THAT…"

He pulled out his Final Cutter to use Mega Slice, rapidly beating away at Gloomtail's massive nose. Then, for a final bow, Kirby crashed down and sent out an aftershock for a total of 9. Gloomtail was at 25 already!

"Just keep wailing on him with strong attacks and he'll be done for in no time!"

Vivian automatically lit up her hands. "Not a problem Kirby! This guy's going to feel the burn!"

"Oooh!" "That was genius." "I feel bad for Gloomtail…" "She's better than Link!" "Say what?"

The area briefly lit up in fire as Gloomtail took a dosage of flames, also suffering 6 damage and a burn. Vivian instantly frowned.

"…what? I know I'm much stronger than that!"

Kirby shrugged. "It's okay. You still burned him!"

After suffering one HP of pain from the burn, Gloomtail instantly started breathing heavy. "Gurr…you are not the easy pray you appeared to be…I would never be able to show my face again if I was bested by you whelps…"

"Well that's not insulting at all!" huffed Flurrie, plainly insulted.

"…so I will show you the true extent of my power!"

He closed his eyes and charged, boosting his attack plus 8 for a possible max of 16-28 hit points! Everyone gasped.

"Oh geez, that's certainly the potential for being screwed…"

Samus took aim between Gloomtail's eyes- which was basically his nose. "We'll have to try to beat him quickly!"

"There's no way I can slap him THAT senseless!" complained Ms. Mowz.

Samus snorted. "Have you forgotten who I am?"

She blasted a charged up Super Missile, making a very loud and explosive contact with Gloomtail for 9 damage. Samus whistled as Ms. Mowz trotted up to use Smack. Obviously, it wasn't enough to defeat him, leaving him with a measly 3 HP.

"MEGABREATH!"

"OH GOD."

He blew out an even more horrible breath with an even worse odor, if that was even possible, and completely took out Ms. Mowz. Samus was lucky, since she had her helmet on at this time.

"Oh MAN! I could smell that from here!" gagged Link. "Mario, please take this thing out…"

"Mmmm…how can this be…" groaned the dark dragon.

Gloomtail took another hit from the burn and was left with 2 HP now. Mario rolled his eyes at how little HP he was spared with and simply hammered him to his doom.

"No…no…is it true? Can I…expire?"

"You'd better believe it!"

Gloomtail fell over in a similar fashion to Hooktail, and even coughed up something too! However, instead of being a Crystal Star, it was a simple small chest. Mario walked over, propped it opened, and received…a Star Key that kinda resembled a Crystal Star!

"I wonder if we'll need that for the odd building…"

"It'd definitely make sense."

So with the unexpected appearance of Hooktail's older brother, and the acquiring of a Star Key of some sort, the room with Gloomtail was an obvious dead end. So, now, the only option was to head into the city that apparently rested in water…and even then, their trek through the Palace of Shadow wasn't even near over.

* * *

**...Woo! :D I like the next chapter, I just hope it doesn't confuse you guys with all the moving around! o.O And all I have to say for now is...Jelly Ultraz! XD**


	74. Riddle Rooms and Witches Without Brooms

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 73: Riddle Rooms and Witches Without Brooms

Team Mario backtracked to the area before the halls, where all the water was. Mario stepped upon the Boat dock and transformed using one of his awesome curses. He sailed everyone to the other side, turning back when they were safe on land.

"I don't like it here already…just looking makes my brain hurt!" whined Kirby. "And that's a baaaaad sign!"

The inside of the building had several doors, a few floors, and one spiral staircase placed smack in the middle.

"Great. Which door do we enter first? There's gotta be at least…ten."

Mario randomly chose the one to their left and entered to see what awaited them. Inside were two red boxes, obviously meaning to hit them, but Mario ordered everyone not to do anything yet. He walked over to a green sign on the wall and read the instructions:

_Beyond, beyond, beyond…_  
_Complete all seven…_  
_Before, before…_

"Does that mean we come back when we do "all seven", whatever that means?" wondered Kirby.

"Probably. Let's go…"

**Second Room From the Right of the Entrance-**

Again, Mario told everyone to pause while he read the room's description. It said something about how things weren't the way they appeared…

Link pondered this as he went to lean on the far wall. "Very odd…WOAMPH!"

Link magically toppled through the wall and landed with a harsh thud.

"…are you okay?" Koops asked slowly.

"Yeah…hey! There's a switch in here!"

A sound of a switch being hit rang out, and a chest materialized in the middle of the room out of dark smoke. Samus kicked it open and held up a Palace Key.

"Where the heck does this go?"

"We haven't even finished exploring this place!" exclaimed Sonic.

"Excuse me for thinking aloud!"

"Excuse me for just saying!"

"Excuuuuuuuse me for interrupting!"

Kirby suddenly fell to the ground and threw his hands in the air. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Everyone stopped bickering and stared at him.

"What was that for Kirby?"

"I dunno- but it got you to stop arguing! Now let's get this place over with before I'm old enough to retire- I've got a feeling there's a lot more keys where this one came from…"

He trotted anxiously out the door, and everyone agreed bickering definitely wasn't the way to go- and them especially should've known from experience.

**Second Door from the Left of Entrance-**

Inside this room was a set of four blocks, two grouped together. On top of the one closest to them was a concrete block, while the one on the bottom was metal. The set on the opposite side of the room was the opposite. Mario attempted to bash the metal block, but not even his Ultra Hammer was strong enough to do that.

"Maybe we need a Mega Up-grade!" hoped Samus. "Yeah, Mario can get a Mega Hammer to break that block, and I'LL get a Mega Cannon!"

Everyone sweat dropped. "Oh anything but that…"

Mario walked around to the other side and hit the only block he current could- a cement one on the ground. Now he could climb up to the metal block, but he still wouldn't be able to break it. With nothing else they could currently do, and having explored all doors on the floor, the gang headed to the second floor.

**Second Room from the Left of Staircase on Second Floor (above previous Room)-**

Somehow Mario figured this was the room to go in next, and it was very similar to the one they were just in, but the block positions were flipped AND a place where a metal block should be was gone. Mario destroyed a concrete block upon entering, then crossed the room, climbed up, and hit another one. All that remained was one metal block, but he knew how to take care of that one now…

"Yeah, while you go do that, we'll stay right here!" Goombella called.

"you've pretty much got it in the bag, plus we can hit that switch when you get rid of the concrete block on the lower floor!" added Spike.

Mario:…okay.

"Sigh…he's such an expert…" Kirby sighed dreamily. While he received more weird stares, Mario made way for the room below once more.

**Second Room from Left on First Floor-**

Now the metal blocks in THIS room were gone, and Mario could reach the last block in the room which was a stone one. After beating it to smithereens, he jumped to the other part and hit the floating blue switch. Like before, a chest containing a key formed from nowhere, and Mario obtained it upon leaving.

**Second Room from Left on Second Floor-**

Everyone in the other room sat waiting for Mario. Sonic happened to glance up at the remaining metal block and let out a yelp when it suddenly disappeared.

"Whoa…freaky."

"What hap- oh."

Goombella was instantly investigating the spot. "How is that possible! Blocks can't just disappear!"

"Mushrooms can't just talk!" "We can't just save the world!" "Link can't just get my name right!" "We can't just have World Peace either!"

"All right! Point taken!" she grumbled while hitting the blue switch. Just like for Mario, a chest appeared containing a key. Link snagged it and put it with Samus' Key just as Mario returned.

"Now we have three keys! How many do we need?"

"Well, that first room said we need to complete all seven before doing that room…so I'm guessing there's 8 keys." estimated Kirby.

"…he amazes me, I swear."

Kirby just grinned cheekily. Mario shook his head with a small smile and exited for the next puzzle.

**First Room on Left on Second Floor-**

"…and in this one we have-" Sonic began, slowly poking his head in.

"A whole bunch of Dry Bones!"

Mario inched around the walls to get to the description before waking all the Bones up.

_Let fall the weakest…_  
_and that the skies lie…_  
_Then build to the strongest…_

"That means we should beat them from weakest to strongest, but I don't get why the skies have to lie!" stated Vivian.

"Dull Bones, Red Bones, Dry Bones, Dark Bones…" recited Koops. "Sounds like some kid's book title!"

Spike went over and kicked the Dull Bones' skull right off its head. "Well, that one's taken care of."

"Now there's three to go…"

"I got Red Bones…" Samus stated, already bending down to take aim. With a simple blast of the cannon, Red Bones was taken out-by exploding into disintegrated bone dust.

"Next up is Dry Bones…and his HP is 10, remember!" informed Goombella. Mario just gave an aloof wave of his hand and summoned the Garnet Star- it was now his favorite, if you didn't count the epic Crystal Star and his classic Diamond Star. He built up the power of the star by rhythmically moving his hands, then with a final clap, the Dry Bone's show was stopped. Once Dry bones was beaten, Dark Bones awakened.

"REVENGE!" he called, voice extremely raspy, and heading after Kirby. Kirby yelped and floated into the air.

"Yikes! What did I do!" the Star Warrior wanted to know before sucking in the Dark Bones and obtaining his abilities- which all in all, weren't much. Nevertheless, Kirby started rapidly beating Dark Bones with a bone of his own, not stopping until the skull was cracked.

"Sheesh Kirby, maul the thing will you?" sighed Vivian. "We all know it doesn't fully die unless it succumbs to fire or explosions!"

"Well maybe I'm weakening it for you! How's about THAT?"

Vivian sighed and snuck into the shadows. When Kirby finally backed off on Dark Bones, she popped out and punched the dead koopa in the "face", at the same time burning it and defeating it. The duo slapped a high five while the main gang leveled up. Again, they all took HP except Link, who chose this time for a little more FP. Afterwards, Link claimed the fourth key.

"All right! Let's get another one!"

"Anxious, maybe?"

"I wanna get to a place where the puzzles are slightly more challenging."

**First Room to the Right on First Floor-**

"Did we hit this room already?"

"It feels like it…yet its different somehow."

"I can't remember! Great."

"Well, anyway, is there another key?"

Mario poked the air, and discovered another invisible thingy. He called forth Flurrie's powers and blew it away, revealing a fifth chest.

"See? Too easy. I'm-"

"Next person who even _thinks _the word "bored", I'm blasting their face off."

**First Room to Right on Second Floor-**

"…and in this room, we have nothing too!" announced Spike. Ms. Mowz held up her hand and started rapidly sniffing the air.

"Mmm…that might not be true hon. It's like the treasure is hiding or something!"

Vivian's eyes lit up. "Oh! Hide!"

She pulled Kirby into the shadows, who hung onto everyone else, and within seconds a blue switch appeared out of thin air.

"good thinking Vivian!" praised Link. "Of course, I would've came up with the solution sooner or later-"

Samus gave him a slightly hard punch on the shoulder. "Oh, shut up. You'll do us all a favor."

Vivian, ignoring Samus, just giggled and blushed. "oh ,well, Ms. Mowz gave me the idea…"

"But it was still yours!" Kirby stated. "Now, six rooms downs, seven in all…hey! One more room before we do the first room we entered, then we can get rid of all these keys!"

Sonic started balancing one on his finger. "Hey look what I can do! Woo!"

"Is the trek getting to you THAT much?"

"Yes…I feel like I haven't ran since…well, before we boarded the Excess Express. And that's a long time, if you're me."

Samus grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door. "Yeah, and it's a shorter time since we're us. Now let's finish this."

**Second Room to Right on Second Floor-**

_Straight on, strain onward…_  
_We know the stars spurn us…_  
_Destroy all in your path…_

"Huh. Does it mean to go straight forward from where we entered?" wondered Bobbery.

"But there's nothing but a wall in that direction!" Koops protested.

Link picked Bobbery up and placed him at the wall. "That's why we have to destroy all in our path!"

"I could've easily done that…" grumbled Samus. Once Bobbery blew up the wall, it revealed a hidden room with a chest. Now with seven keys, they could finally retrieve the final one.

**First Room to Left on First Floor-**

"You know…maybe we could've done this one first…"

"Oh well. We went by our own ways!"

Mario deciphered the hidden clue in the description, and hit the "beyond" block three times and the "before" block twice. The final chest with the final key appeared, and that was taken rather abruptly by Link.

"Now, where do you think we go…"

**Third Floor-**

"Well, it was obvious there was MORE spiral staircase, you know!"

Mario took a moment to stare at the odd thousand year old contraption that rested just before them, looking quite complex despite its age. In front of that, was a place to put in the Star Key. When Mario inserted it, the ground began to shake, and 8 key holes formed from the now familiar black mist. Mario kept one key himself, then gave Link, Sonic, Kirby, Samus, Spike, Koops, and Vivian the rest. Even though they could've done one at a time, it was much simpler to do them all at once. They simultaneously inserted the keys, turned them, and suddenly, the star-studded contraption began to move…

….

As the ground shook, the hall that lead the way to Gloomtail's lair suddenly sank downward, falling into well-placed steps. At last, a new path had been revealed to the team.

….

Confused by the phenomenon that had happened outside, the group rushed out of the place and had Mario sail them back to mainland. Samus scanned the area and found out that they could never go back to Gloomtail's room ever again, because the hallway had changed to create a new path!

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Sonic called eagerly, until they were all stopped by a cold, menacing voice.

_"We've been waiting for you, Team Mario…"_

Out of the shadows came Beldam and Marilyn, followed by…Professor Frankly? !

Everyone gasped. "What? ! Professor! What are YOU doing here! ?"

"Frankly" just ignored them while Beldam cackled. "Thank you SO much for opening the door for us, Mario! Yes, that was nice! Thank to your do-gooder predictability, my plan is progressing very smoothly…"

Bobbery entered the conversation. "Opening the door for you? My dear, repellant woman, what do you mean by that?"

"Yeah, we opened the door for US!" defended Kirby, keeping Vivian close behind him.

Mario: Do-gooder predictability?

"Mwee hee hee hee! So, you still don't see it? Ah, such fools…the "Professor Frankly" you were with when you opened the door…was none other than this freak-in-a-sheet!"

Frankly transformed into an irritated-looking Doopliss, causing more gasps.

"Um, yeah, my name's Doopliss, but-"

"Mwee hee hee hee hee! The real Frankly is sleeping off a nasty bump in the head in a closet somewhere…poor thing! And once we get rid of you, our plan will be nearly complete! Ready for the end, my dears? You and that traitor Vivian have a date with eternity!"

"GUH-HUH!" "That's right, Slick! Eternity!"

Beldam turned to Doopliss. "Shut up, Freak!"

"Oh, ok…right, sorry…"

Vivian sighed. "Now I feel bad for Doopliss…apparently he's the new me!"

"Yeah, but I'm still going to bash his head with my "Dark Bone" ability…which is kinda lame." said Kirby. He got rid of his ability with hopes of swallowing Beldam-he was afraid to try Marilyn.

"Come my sort-of lovelies! Marilyn! Freak-sheet!"

"Guuuuh!" "I said, my name's DOOPLISS!"

"Ah, irony. Now he WANTS someone to know his name…"

Sonic cracked his knuckles. "Aw whatever. Finally something interesting!"

"All right, my kind-of lovelies! This time we take out Mario, Link, and their goon squad for good!"

Link groaned while stretching for the battle. "Of course, I'm only acknowledged by enemies…"

"So, if I catch you slacking, you'll be in for INCREDIBLE punishment come tomorrow!"

She glared at Doopliss, who squealed out an "OK! OK! OK!"

Mario started off the fight with a Thunder Rage, that he really didn't care if they had for the final boss or not. It only did 5 HP worth of damage anyway. Goombella informed everyone that Doopliss was still 40, Marilyn was also 40, and Beldam was still the weak one with 30 HP. Doopliss flew into the air and slammed into Mario, which Mario guarded against simply. Marilyn was a bit more clever and used her quite strong smack move on Goombella for 5 damage.

"And what're you going to do, Beldam?" snickered the female Goomba. Beldam raised her hands, summoning her frosty power, then directing it at Mario and Goombella. Luckily, they each took four without getting frozen.

"HYAH!" Link yelled, jumping into the air and brutally crashing into Marilyn by using Hack. She was now down to 27 HP. "Be lucky I didn't use my Great Spin! Hit them with all you have, Bobbery!"

"Right-oh!"

Bobbery built up his power until he turned a deep shade of red, then unleashed it in the form of Bob-ombast. The trio of enemies each suffered 9 damage. Doopliss' red eyes started to sparkle, and a scanning-like line appeared over Link's head. Link looked up and instantly started to panic.

"Oh man- now he's going to steal MY soul!"

"He needs a Crystal Star to do that…"

"Oh yeah…"

However, Doopliss DID copy into Link, and used Jab against him. Link wailed out dramatically as Marilyn zapped lightning onto him and Bobbery, then Beldam froze them.

"Link certainly didn't get a break…again…" trailed Sonic, using Whirlwind and taking 8 away from everyone. Spike saw that Beldam was on the ropes with 8 HP, but neither a Ground Pound nor a Gulp would take her out.

"HEY!" he called, followed by a whistle. Another army of Yoshis stampeded in, trampling Doopliss, Marilyn, and Beldam for exactly 8 damage each. Spike smirked- he had been lucky. As Beldam collapsed, Kirby frowned.

"Darn it! I wanted to take Beldam out!"

"Sorry dude!"

Doopliss-Link sliced away at Sonic, which the hedgehog tried to guard but failed horribly and had to roll out of the way. Marilyn, left with a measly two HP, new she was done for and just clamped Spike between her two hands. Kirby , still upset about not knocking out Beldam, just grumbled and used his hammer on Marilyn, also finishing her off. Vivian, slightly glad that she wasn't the one to hurt Marilyn (it was only Beldam she truly hated), just used Shade Fist on Doopliss. Doopliss braced for impact and shrieked when his copied tunic was on fire.

"Oh! It's up to me, and now I'm burned!"

He hit Kirby with the fake sword, then suffered one point of damage from the burn. Samus sighed in relief.

"Ah, for a moment, I thought I wouldn't even be able to attack once!" she readily aimed her canon for her favorite spot-between the eyes. "Now I get to finish this thing off!"

A simple missile was all that was needed, and Doopliss collapsed next to the Shadow Sirens. Team Mario gained a boatload of Star Points, but still not quite enough to level up again.

"Argghhh…at this rate…she will never…" wheezed Beldam, too weak to even finish.

"Hmph. Beating chumps like this doesn't take very much of a toll…" murmured Samus.

"That's because we use teamwork!" exclaimed Kirby.

"Please, don't pull a cheesy line like that again."

"Sorry."

With the remaining Shadow Sirens plus Freak-Sheet- I mean, Doopliss, out of commission, they were free to finish the adventure through the Thousand-Year Door. But, Mario couldn't help but wonder…

Who was the "she" Beldam had spoken of?

* * *

**I totally thought you had to find the keys before fighting Gloomtail when I first played, because I didn't see that the door was unlocked...and then I got stuck when I DID find all the keys, and I thought that they little saying things were a clue or something...luckily I sorted myself out after frustratedly exiting the place and actually going through the door that lead to Gloomtail. Just a fun fact. :P**

**Anywho, I think the next chapter is the last one before it's a whole chain of battling final bosses! Woot! **


	75. The Deepest Depths of the Palace

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 74: The Deepest Depths of the Palace

Entering the door previously used to lead to the fight Gloomtail, it was true that the floor had transformed into descending stairs. The markings on the stone walls reminded Mario of the contraption, but the thoughts were cast aside by a ? block and another Wizzerd. He quickly hit the block, claimed another Thunder Rage, then had a combination of Sonic and Samus take the enemy out. Not too far away was yet ANOTHER Wizzerd, and Vivian burnt his brutally, followed by Ms. Mowz intervening and slapping away what was left.

"I hate those…we have to muster up all our power just to get good damage on them!" complained Vivian.

"Those enemies aside…I really hope there's not much more palace left…" sighed Kirby. "I know I haven't been around as long as Mario and Link, but I already know this adventure has been going on way longer than last time we were in his world…"

Link patted him. "I know, Kirby, but there's nothing we can do except push forward. I can tell it'll be over really soon…right Mario?"

Mario: Uh-huh!

While they were having the conversation, Flurrie had blown away a paper covering a hidden entrance to a secret set of stairs, which everyone proceeded to enter in. A small gap was in-between them and the next doorway. Most were able to get across with no problems, but Spike assisted those who needed assisting.

"Okay…um, this room doesn't look too hard…right?"

The room had stairs leading to the other side, but there was a gap even Spike couldn't Flutter across. Kirby could've, but he wasn't strong enough to carry everyone over, even in multiple trips. Mario found a red switch secretly tucked away and kicked it, causing a platform to briefly jet out of the wall. Once everyone saw what it was, they wasted no time in trying to get across. However, the platform disappeared before they even reached it.

Koops struck an important pose. "Looks like an opportunity for ME! Ah, at last…"

Link just sighed and kicked Koops away from the switch while everyone prepared to jump the platform. When everyone was ready, Koops released his hold, and everyone nearly knocked each other over trying to get across.

"Sheesh, are we that anxious?" Samus commented, shaking Ms. Mowz off her leg. No one really answered her -or, at least, didn't want to- and went down another set of stairs into another room. This room had a large yellow/black block and a green/black block. Heading up another small flight of stairs, and entered the door above, you'd find the two switched that control the blocks. Mario hit only the green one, and when they returned, it was a clear jumped to the next area.

"Careful this time Mario…" Spike trailed as Mario tentatively sat on the young Yoshi's back. They flew across, catching up with everyone else.

"I thought you were a decent jumper Mario…" Sonic pondered. Mario made a face.

Mario: Have you met my brother?

"Oh yeah…HE got the incredible jumping abilities. Sorry!"

Mario sighed and continued forward, Sonic putting on a sheepish look. The current path led to a supposed dead end, but looking down one could see large purple and red blocks below. Mario jumped and everyone followed suit.

"Hmm…the area is too narrow for Koops. Better use me, old boy…" Bobbery pondered. Link nodded and placed Bobbery on the purple switch.

"Good point."

Everyone hurried onto the purple block before Bobbery detonated, and moment later the block rose to be even with the rest of the room. Again, Mario had to borrow Spike to get over the large gap. Sonic was wise this time and made no comment about Mario's jumping ability. However, when they all tried to make it to the other end, they ALL missed the edge and fell into a hidden area.

"What the…" "How did THAT happen?"

Flurrie looked along the floor to see a door up ahead. "Well, the door's over there- perhaps it was fate!"

Everyone accepted that theory and made they way over to yet another room of the palace. In THIS room, which had to be room 57 by now, only had a simple pole that Mario had to use to inch EVERYONE across. The plumber hero couldn't help but sweat drop as he crouched down to Spring. Flying into the air, he grabbed the pole, and struggled to stay up as several others clung to his little legs.

Mario: Who thought this was going to work! ?

Everyone glanced at Link. He just groaned while Mario slowly made his way across the pole.

"Oh come ON! Why must every bad idea be blamed on me?"

"Because you usually come UP with them!"

Once Mario made it to the next door several minutes later, swearing he was now as buff as Rawk Hawk, it turned out the next room was yet another "challenge" room, as Koops had dubbed it.

"Well! Wonder what's the "challenge" this time!" sniped Kirby. They climbed the steps, found it jumpable, Link threw Bobbery down, and upon making compact with a switch, released another platform.

"This why I explore with my feet rather than my brain…" Sonic grumbled, doing a 360 after bounding off the platform. "They're just too easy."

"You know someone could've very easily burned you there?" smirked Samus. Sonic looked thoughtful until his face twisted up into a scowl.

"Ha ha, you're funny."

"Sonic, look out!" yelped Spike. Sonic didn't even have a chance to turn around before a Chomp bit down on his leg.

"Oh sweet Chaos, GET IT OFF!"

Link jumped heroically into the air. "I'll save you. YAH!"

He came down on the Chomp with his sword, but it didn't do anything except bang hard against the Chomp's hard exterior, vibrate the sword, and sent Link wobbling away, arms shaking with his weapon.

"Whuuuuh - thaaaaat diiiiddddn't woorkkk…."

Sonic clawed for the edge to attempt to pull himself free, but he was ripped off the ground and swung around like a chew toy.

"I know there's hedgehog chew toys in certain stores but I'm _not_ one of them!"

Spike looked around anxiously and sweat dropped. "I'd Gulp him, but then I'd end up Gulping you too…"

"Oh great- I'm going to be chomped into chow!"

Samus looked around and sighed. "Ugh, this looks like a mess for me to clean up, doesn't it?"

It took hardly any effort from her incredible cannon to blast the Chomp into smithereens. Conveniently, she had 'just missed' blowing up Sonic. Instead, the hedgehog just collided into a wall studded with some sort of star designs.

"Oh man…even when that cannon saves my life, it still has the potential to kill me…" he murmured while falling back to the ground. Samus grinned and blew the smoke off her cannon.

"You're welcome!"

Goombella trotted over to where Sonic had crashed and made careful study on the wall. There were seven stars all in a row, representing the Crystal Stars, she guessed, and wrote down that the 1st, 3rd, 4th, and 6th were lit up.

"Hmm…I learn new things everyday."

Mario motioned for Goombella to hurry up. She quickly put away her pad and dashed after Mario before someone like Flurrie stole her partner spot. A locked door rested at the head of the stairs, which meant they'd be heading there later, but Mario turned to the right instead to find the fateful key. Kirby, out of curiosity, went ahead and found an unmoving wheel. He jumped on the first "seat" then jumped down to the bottom one, where the key was just in his grasp.

"Hey Koops! You wanna get it, or can I just float over?" Kirby asked. Koops was at the edge within seconds.

"Oh boy! Another job for me! But…that IS a ways down…" he gulped.

"Maybe you just need a little push-" started Link. Koops instantly freaked and ducked down in a defensive position.

"NO! Don't push me off the edge!"

"What're you talking about? I was just going to cheer for you! Go Koops! Go Koops! I got'cha name right!…uh huh…uh huh!"

"Well, too late. I was impatient and I got the key…" commented Kirby while floating back up. Koops snapped his fingers in frustration.

"Aw darn it!"

Kirby tossed the key to Vivian who handed it to Mario. Mario gave her a warm smile before inserting it into the lock. He cautiously pushed the door open, despite the fact he, and everyone else, already knew there'd be nothing threatening on the other side. Just probably another useless puzzle for them to solve.

"You know, when they sealed up a 1,000 year old demon, you'd think they'd make it a lot more challenging…" Sonic stated. "Not because I'm bored, since you already know that, but just thinking logically…"

Spike nodded intelligently. "He proposes a point…"

Kirby folded his arms. "That was my line…"

The next leg of the palace had another ? Block, containing a Life Shroom!

"Life Shrooms! Why didn't I think of buying those…" pondered Link.

"Because we're not planning on dying, maybe?"

"Can't be too careful!"

Anyway, ascending up the next set of steps (and a brief "tubing"), a wall similar to the one in the other room was found, with the seven star design. The only difference was that there were red switches under the stars and a Wizzerd floating around. As Samus and Link brutally took on the Wizzerd, Goombella pull out her notes and showed Mario.

"Look! I wrote down what I think is the code!" she exclaimed. "Hit the 1st, 3rd, 4th and 6th blocks Mario!"

Mario nodded, and while avoiding cannon blasts and sword swipes, managed to hit the blocks Goombella told him to.

"Hold it still! Hold it still!"

"I'm trying! Blast it already!"

"If I don't do it right, we won't level up yet again!"

"JUST USE A MISSILE!"

"Don't make me use one on your face!"

Samus let loose on the Wizzerd, hitting it square in he face, and once again leveling everyone up. They all chose HP and got on with their lives. The stars on the walls began to flash on and off until they all lit up. Then, nothing.

"Okay…anti-climatic there."

"I wonder what happened…"

Mario got everyone out the room and returned to the one with the giant wheel to reveal that it had started to spin, giving them access to the other side. Kirby threw his hands up and shouted "Whee!" as they went around.

"Still, very anti-climatic. This place should have pits of acid!" complained Samus.

"Or a melee of monsters! Or ropes that pull you into the ground!" threw in Link.

"Or a ceiling with spikes that come down to try and kill us!" suggested Sonic.

"Uh, no, been there done that…"

**The Following Room-**

"…and the next incredible brain-bogging, mind-twisting puzzle is that Flurrie needs to blow off an invisible thingy!"

"How can you possibly know that?"

"Well, besides the fact there's a peely paper right there, there's really nothing else we can do…"

Flurrie sighed, heaved it air, then used a mighty wind to remove a thingy. Underneath was a large cement block that Mario was going to need to Ultra Spin to break.

Mario: Oh yeah!

He twisted around until he thought he was going to snap, then smashed the hammer into the side of the block at full force. This guaranteed its smash, and revealed a Spin Jump pad!

"Still, this is the hardest puzzle so far…"

Mario Spin Jumped, creating a hole, and everyone followed through- even Flurrie, somehow.

**Room After That-**

Technically the room wasn't a room- it was like a hall without the hall. Or just a super thin one, because that's what it was. A narrow path was the only way to get by, and half the crew had large feet, clumsy feet, or no feet at all! But it was way easier than the previously room. Adventurers gained incredible balancing ability during their travels.

"What lame thing is behind THIS door…" trailed Spike, propping it open and poking his head in. An airplane pad.

"Now Mario's suddenly using all his abilities- what gives?"

Mario: Beats me- I wasn't here 1,000 years ago!

He went Plane, and took everyone with him. While flying in the air, he realized if he went too far, he'd overshoot the door. In mid-flight he returned to normal…and accidentally injured nearly everyone in his party.

Mario:…whoops.

"Next time give us a warning if you're going to drop us like bombs!"

"HEY!"

"No offense, Bobbery…"

Mario just apologized and entered the next room. Two sets of stairs were there, one that went up and one that went down. As usual, the one on top needed and extra platform to get across, and as usual there was a switch on the bottom. A Chomp unexpectedly lashed out at them, sending Sonic jumping several feet back, but was dispatched by Kirby, Spike, and Vivian.

"Wait! Before you hit the switch and make the platform appear…think about it!" cried Ms. Mowz. "There's no way we'd be fast enough to get back over there, we can't use Koops because the switch is in the air, and even if we all wait at the edge, how will you get over fast enough Mario?"

"Oh my gosh…she pulled a Kirby!"

"That'd better be a compliment!"

"Either way, she's right!" Goombella threw in. "What do we do?"

"He could use me…but my back's still a little sore from the flights…" trailed Spike. "I'll do it if necessary…"

"You nuts? This is a perfect chance for a sprint!" exclaimed Sonic. "Mario, you go stand over there, I'll hit the switch, then run over before its too late!"

Mario: Okay!

Sonic waited until Mario was with everyone else before hitting the switch. He disappeared in a blue blur and nearly knocked everyone off when he jumped on the platform. Nevertheless, everyone still made it, and Sonic was slightly dizzy.

"Whoa…I haven't gone that fast in a long time! I'm losing my touch!"

"It wasn't even necessary that we all go over here!" Kirby complained, watching Mario open the chest at the dead end. "It was just a stupid key!"

"We're really overestimating these puzzles, aren't we?"

**Top of Room After Falling and Fighting Several Phantom Embers-**

"I've never felt so hot in my life…"

"I know! And I'm hot everyday!"

"I'm all burned-out!"

Mario went plane again, this time flying all the way across and locating a locked door. Unlocking it and opening it, the next room was…really fancy and completely puzzle free.

"Wow. We're at the end already. Wow."

They walked across the room, taking it all its marvel. Mario fueled up on HP and FP and took a deep breath at the door.

"This is it, it seems…" Link stated. "This is the point of no return."

"Maybe the rooms were all easy because whatever's in there is going to kill us for sure!" wailed Koops. Spike smacked him and grabbed his sweatshirt.

"Get a grip, man! We're not going to die! After all, we've got the best five fighters in the universe on our side! Right Big Blue?"

Sonic gave a small smile and nodded. "yeah…"

Samus charged up her cannon with anticipation. "Well what're we waiting for? Let's save the day already!"

Mario: Oh yes!

He pushed the door open, ready to take on whatever was going to rear its ugly head next.

They had to be ready, or else it'd be all for nothing…

* * *

**The. Next. Chapter. Is. So. Cool. :D**


	76. Big Beatings Back to Back

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 75: Big Beatings Back to Back

"Ugh…this room creeps me out, man. It's just…wrong. What IS this chamber?" rambled Spike.

It was big, rounded in the middle, and the only way up was via stairs. Mario stepped on the first one. Was it wrong to be nervous? Then, he thought of Peach-and Team Z.A.P. Apparently Link did too, and he ran up screaming "ZELDA!" before pausing at the sound of a dry, raspy laugh.

"Gack ack ack ack!"

There, sitting on a throne of some sort, was Lord Grodus.

"We finally meet, Team Mario. I've been looking forward to this, I must admit."

Vivian already knew who we was and was incredibly terrified. "Gro…Grodus…"

"Yes…correct! I am the supreme leader of the secret society of X-Nauts! I am Grodus!"

"Are you sure that isn't 'Doof-us?" snickered Sonic cheerfully. Vivian grabbed his arm gently.

"Please…I'm begging you…don't rile him up! He'll zap you into nothing!"

Sonic glanced back at Grodus, who was too cocky to notice the snide remark.

"I'm really getting ahead of myself…I really must express my thanks to you first…"

He arose from the throne and inched over to them, each step making an echo in the empty, ancient room.

"And do you know _why?"_

"I'm afraid to ask…"

"You have gathered together all of the Crystal Stars I was seeking…"

Link's eyes shot wide open. "The Crystal Star…my Crystal Star…you stole it from me to lure us into getting them all, instead of getting them yourself! You…you're saying we've done all the work for you-including opening the Thousand-Year Door!"

Grodus cackled. "Gaaack ack ack ack! You just realize now, do you? Yes, instead of taking the few Crystal Stars you fools Mario and Link had bumbled into…it was far easier to let you find them all and open the Thousand-Year Door for me…how kind of you to bring them all to me! All I had to do was entrust the last Crystal Star to my least competent underling! I don't suppose Crump had any idea of my plan, though! Gaack ack ack ack!"

"Yeah, you're really lacking sanity…there's already not a brain in that dome of yours!" Kirby exclaimed.

"Kirby…" Vivian winced.

"Sorry Vivian- we're heroes! We're supposed to make bad guys angry!"

"So whether he beat you or lost to you…The Crystal Stars would be together and mine either way! Pure genius! Now, I though the Shadow Sirens would do a little more to slow your progress…but it appears they're so useless that even this small task was beyond them."

Kirby turned to Vivian who was scowling. "You can start smack talking at anytime, you know…"

"No matter…I get the pleasure of sending you to oblivion! Once you fools are gone, no one will stand in my way! Grodus will rule the world!"

"Do you really think we'll let that happen?" Samus snorted. "Because we're not as inferior as you think we are."

They approached Grodus as he hid a chortle. "Meet your end, you meddlesome fools! You will know my power!"

He held his scepter in front him, then waved his hand. Four mini Yuxes specially made for Grodus surrounded him and put up a green shield. Mario groaned as Goombella look up his stats.

"HP is 50, Attack is 6 or 7, defense is 1, he can stop time to attack us without interference, and summon Grodus-Xs."

Mario easily got rid of the shield by jumping on all 4 Grodus-Xs. Grodus struck power lightning on Mario and Goombella, taking 6 away from them. He summoned two Grodus-Xs, but they didn't create a shield. Link Hacked at Grodus while Bobbery used a mean Mega Bomb. Unfortunately, both forgot about the Grodus-Xs.

"So, you have the mettle to push me this far…" Grodus trailed. "But no more!

"Dude, we haven't even killed you yet!"

He conjured up another spell, this one to stop time. Only Mario, Kirby, and Samus defended against it, while Link, Sonic, Spike, and Bobbery were left immobile. Grodus cackled and blasted Link and Bobbery with lightning, then gained his full shield, followed by zapping Sonic and Spike with the same attack.

"Gaaack ack ack ack!"

Vivian had a blank expression as she raised her hands. "Cruel, cruel monster! Take this!"

She lifted her hands, sending Grodus and his Xs in a ring of fierce fire. Sure, she did no damage to Grodus, but she still managed to burn him AND get rid of the shield. Kirby rushed by with his Final Cutter, preparing to do Mega Slice.

"Good work, Vivian!"

Vivian blushed again. Praise definitely wasn't in her usual routine. Kirby jumped up, spun in the air for a stylish, then came crashing down on Grodus and hitting him with a bonus shockwave for a decent 7 damage-thanks to his high defense. Still, they were hammering him; Grodus was under 40 HP at this point! Grodus summoned more lightning that Kirby super guarded by twirling out the way and pushing Vivian out of the way of the bolt meant for her.

"Th-Thank you Kirby…"

Kirby just smiled. "No problem-Super guarding is just my thing!"

After Grodus suffered one damage from his turn and made two more Grodus Xs, Samus stepped up to take her turn. She grabbed her cannon, and it slightly bulged out, since it was trying to contain all the power she was charging.

"Heheheheh…"

She tipped backward after firing her Charged Shot, again hitting her favorite target of "in the face". Ms. Mowz wasn't really able to slap the Xs, so she just slapped Grodus instead for 5. Darn high defense…

"Still really weak though! You may seem tough, but you're already down to a pathetic 18!" mocked Samus. Grodus sighed heavily, for it WAS true…and he was getting a bit exhausted, add insult to injury.

"Argh! You will not stop me! Take THIS!"

He hit Samus and Ms. Mowz with a stronger version of his lightning attack for 7 damage. Samus' suit started to spark and she looked up and snarled at the man.

"Finish him…" she seethed to Mario and Link, who was now moving about once again. Mario gave a simple nod and gravely wanted to use Supernova, but it was so powerful it ate up too much SP. He instead chose Art Attack, which removed the Grodus Xs and had Grodus suffer 4 damage. Goombella used Multibonk for total damage of 7- really good for her!

"Now you can easily finish him off Link!" Goombella exclaimed. Link twirled his sword stylishly around.

"Of course! It's me we're taking about!"

"Guh…Fools!"

Grodus held up his scepter once more and zapped all of them with lightning for 7 damage! Yipes! Link grabbed his arm and growled.

"You're gonna pay…HIYAH!"

He put his sword far behind him, then rapidly turned on the toe of his boot, sword extended, to perform Great Spin. Grodus was repeatedly hit with the sword, taking its full 15 damage despite the fact he only have 7. Either way, he was gone.

"Uuuuuggghhhh…you are more than you seem…" he trailed weakly.

"Or you're just less than you seem- and I didn't even get a chance to attack!" Sonic stated. "Not fair! Something happens, and I get frozen! Seriously-"

"Sonic!"

"This is not finished. I saw even this possibility…"

"What're you going on about?"

Grodus put on a sadistic smile, ignoring the pain cracks in his one eye and dome, and made Peach, Zelda, and Amy appear in a green force field. They had been lying down, but now awakened stood up. All three looked like they were headed into death before everything went black.

"…where are we?" squeaked Peach. Amy held tightly to Zelda.

"I'm so scared…nnnmmhhh…"

Zelda patted Amy's shoulder, though she was deathly terrified too. She and Peach looked around, until they saw a nearly knocked out Grodus and Team Mario staring at them with relief, worry, concern, and several other emotions.

"MARIO!" Peach exclaimed.

"LINK!" yelled Zelda. "L-Link…"

Link was about to say something until Amy's ear-splitting cry of "SOOOOOONNNNIICCC!" rang throughout the entire Palace of Shadow.

Kirby gasped "It's the girls!"

"Yeah, Amy sounds fine…" Sonic grunted, rubbing his ears carefully. "Not even I could've ran faster than THAT…"

"Move one step, and they will breathe no more!" Grodus hissed.

"You wouldn't!" Link shouted.

"Now try THIS!"

He zapped the entire team again, sending them straight to the ground. Amy wailed out and fought to escape the bubble, while Zelda held her back and stared glossy-eyed at Link. Peach clenched her fist and feebly cried "MARIOOO!" once again.

"Gack ack ack ack! Now, AGAIN!"

Another terrifying bolt of electricity struck them, and moving was nearly impossible. Samus' suit sparked chaotically now, Kirby had scorched marks everywhere, parts of Link's clothes were torn, Sonic's quills were out of place in several place, and Mario just felt all around weak. Amy lashed out and kicked madly at the barrier. Zelda let go of her as fire flickered in her eyes.

"…you brutal life-taking MONSTER!" she shouted. "You just don't know where to end! Heartless, nothing but heartless!"

"Too bad your words go unsaid…" sobbed Peach. Zelda gripped Peach's shoulder.

"N-No! don't say that…"

"He won't listen to anyone anymore…not even your bold outbursts have an effect!"

Zelda tried to hold back tears as Mario stood up- hunched over, but still breathing. Then Link rose, followed by Sonic, Kirby, Samus, and the partners. All were in excruciating pain, but still willing to fight if needed. Kirby gave an exhausted gasp and slumped onto Sonic's leg. Even the soft touch of Kirby made Sonic wince.

"You…you're going to…go down…" huffed Link.

"WORMS! You dare defy me! Do you not care for the life of your pitiful girlfriends!"

Sonic held up a finger. "She's not my-"

Grodus prepared to kill Peach, Zelda, and Amy, when a violent rumbling came from the ceiling.

"Wha-what!" Grodus cried in a high-pitched voice.

"GWARGH!"

Bowser, Ganondorf, and Eggman fell out of the ceiling and landed right on top of Grodus.

"Ooooooooogg…" moaned Bowser. Team Z.A.P. stopped sniffling and went from upset to downright dumbfounded.

"Bowser?" "Ganondorf!" "Eggman…"

"Urgh…that was a surprise…I didn't think we'd fall…have I put on weight?" Bowser wondered.

"That was scientifically impossible!" exclaimed Eggman. "Even with the heavy amount!

"Not with that weight of yours- I'm not surprised the floor caved in!" Ganondorf snorted.

"Your Chunkinesses! Are you okay?" Kammy called, puttering peacefully in on her broom. The trio got up, and Team Mario instantly lost all traces of exhaustion.

"GWARF!"

"Gwarf?" "That's a new one…"

"Why is Team Mario here!"

Kammy turned around and gasped.

"And Team Peach as well?"

"We're actually Team Z.A.P., FYI…" scoffed Zelda.

"I don't know what's going on here, but I'm gonna put an end to it RIGHT NOW! Mario! First, I pound you. Then I take the princess. Then I take the treasure!"

"This is ridiculous!" Flurrie huffed.

"I'll say! All this and now these chumps fall in from nowhere and think they can take us on!" threw in Spike.

"We're not chumps! Fear us as the ferocious team of Team Bowser!" Eggman cackled. "Which is actually a pretty demeaning name…"

"Maybe you should try Team B.E.G. instead!" called Link.

"B.E.G.? What the heck does THAT stand for?" Ganondorf growled.

"It's our initials, dingdong!" retorted Eggman.

"No, it means you beg for mercy!" laughed Sonic, slapping Link a high five.

"It also fits because Team Z.A.P. is an acronym of initials too!" Kirby added.

Bowser looked thoughtful. "Yeah…That's still a pretty clever name…beats G.E.B., that's for sure. Wait, wha- NO! Erm, anyway…you guys all worn out from battle? Yes! Easy pickings! Today's the day I flush a plumber down the drain!"

"And break the weakest link!" chortled Ganondorf.

"And…and…ugh, take the hedge out of the hog?"

"Lame!"

"Well what was I supposed to say! ?"

"Ugh, just get this over with!" Samus sighed loudly. Bowser just threw up his hands and laughed.

"What's a finale without a Bowser appearance, huh? A cruddy finale, that's what! Now, hold still while I trounce you and take my Peach!"

"Your Peach?" "He's lost it…" "What took you so long to notice?"

Goombella rapidly turned pages in her book. "Okay…Kammy has HP of 50, and can make Team Bowser- or B.E.G. if you prefer- invincible, added attack or defense, electrify them, make them dodgy, and heal 8 HP worth. I'd say get rid of her first."

"Agreed. What else?"

"Bowser has 70 HP, Ganondorf 75, and Eggman 30 without a machine, but 60 with one. They all have attacks of 7 and defenses of…2? Oh no, oh no…"

"Not to mention the fact we're all pretty rusty on our HP and FP…" Link groaned.

"We should use attacks to hurt all four of them, but that uses FP…"

"Kammy needs to go because she can make them impervious to our attacks, and take out Eggman's machine to get him down to 30...then probably Bowser then Ganondorf…"

"I say Ganondorf before Bowser- he's really threatening!

"Better just go with the flow on this one…"

Mario cracked his knuckles and began with a Spring Jump on Kammy. He crouched down, then shot up, movement unpredictable. He came down on Kammy for 7 damage, then struck again with 6 for a total of 13! Not to mention he did a backflip then gave a thumbs up for a stylish… Kammy was knocked off her broom and sneered at the red plumber.

"You'll pay for that, sonny!" she squawked. "PAY!"

"Gwarharharhar! I sure do feel good today! I am FEELING it!" Bowser burned Mario and Goombella witch scorching flames. Kammy started chanting a weak chant until Ganondorf thundered by her -knocking her down- to get to Mario and strike him with a glowing purple fist.

"Watch it!"

"You were in my way!"

"I outta-"

An audience member clonked Kammy in the head with a rock.

"All right! What a convenient stroke of luck!" cheered Sonic. Eggman snickered and prepared to launch several missiles at the team of heroes.

"Allow me to introduce you to my latest creation-"

"What's that? The Egg-nihilator?"

"No, but we'll go with that. Get a load of this!"

He pushed a glowing red button, sending missiles haywire all over the stage. They hit Mario, Sonic, Vivian, Kirby, Spike, and Bobbery. Samus managed to catch one and toss it back. It made deadly contact with the front of the Egg-nihilator and made a rather large dent. Eggman yelped and attempted to repair it while Kammy lifted her wand.

"Mweh heh heh heh! MY turn, Mario!"

She sent a classic Magikoopa blast of magic, which Mario ducked and guarded against. He was at 28 HP…hopefully no loose missiles would make contact with him.

"Prepare for pain, because I'll hack something up!" yelled Link, getting ready for a Hack.

"Why would you say that?" "Seriously, give them a change to block your attack!"

Kammy already knew he was going to go for her and got ready to defend a hack. Link, however, ran toward her but suddenly bent down on one foot and started spinning around rapidly.

"Great Spin- I tricked you with a joke! How awesome am I?"

Kammy's hands were raised, protecting her head, leaving her front wide open for attack. She suffered the full 15 while Bowser and Eggman took 13 and Ganondorf 12. Bobbery exploded in a Bom-ombast, chopping 9 off all their HP.

"Ha! What now?" Link taunted. Bowser stomped forward and bit his arm. "Whoa-what kid of a move was that!"

"One to sink your teeth into!" Bowser replied with a chortle.

"Looks like you had your joke handed back to you!" smirked Ganondorf, giving Link a might kick and sending him sliding across the floor. Eggman laughed along and targeted Link and Bobbery only.

"Don't let it blow up in your face!"

"Yargh!"

Link ducked behind his shield, still on the ground, and took no damage from the oncoming grenades. Bobbery on the other hand suffered a slightly critical 8.

"…and if you though THAT was bad…" trailed Kammy, raising her arms and healing Bowser's team 8 HP.

"Well, that's definitely a set back…" Sonic admitted. "…but still not enough to slow ME down! Sonic Boom."

Eggman cringed "Oh no-"

Sonic ran straight into all four of the opponents for 5 damage, plus an extra four for "booming" them into the wall. Kammy groaned and fell onto the stage. Bowser's spike shell had him caught into the wall, Eggman was dangling out the side, and Ganondorf punched his way out. He kicked the wall, causing the two to become free…but landed on him.

"Urgh, you two are definitely dead weight!" he growled, struggling to push them off.

"Quick Spike! Finish Kammy off!" Sonic called.

Spike gave a quick salute and fluttered in the air. "No problem!"

Once he was directly above Kammy, he did several stylish spins before Ground Pounding Kammy to nothing.

"No! We've lost our unlimited supply of health and strength!" wailed Eggman, setting back in the machine of his. Kammy just wheezed on the floor.

"Forgive me, Lord Bowser…I have nothing left…"

"You're not going to get away with that!" roared Bowser. He nearly singed Sonic's spikes off and Spike's hairdo, adding an extra point of damage due to his anger, making it 8 all in all.

"Ow…"

"That was nothing compared to this!" he heard Ganondorf called.

"Where'd you go?"

"RAH!"

Ganondorf jumped down on Sonic's head, foot glowing with dark power. Sonic gasped and fell, Spike running up to him quickly.

"Ow…ow…"

"Are you okay dude?"

"Ugh…"

Eggman's following laughter bellowed out. "Excellent! Sonic is feeble and weak and I can defeat him at last!"

The Egg-nihilator approached Sonic, ready to completely take him out. Spike gasped and glanced at Sonic, who surprisingly grinned and gave him a wink.

"Say good-bye, hedgehog!"

"Uh, no."

Sonic quickly scooped himself up by using a sweep kick, then spin dashed straight into the machine where Samus had made the dent. The Egg-nihilator was easily turned to rubble, and Eggman spilled out like an egg yolk. His HP collapsed drastically down to 7.

"What…no!"

"Now that's a Superguard!"

Kirby clapped. "Pretty good, I must say!"

He bounced to Eggman and struck him with his hammer, since he didn't need very much to beat him anyway. It dealt a perfect 7, leaving Eggman helpless on the ground.

"Don't lose, Ganondorf…" he whispered. "This is our last chance to get the Crystal Stars!"

Ganondorf clenched a fist. "I know…and I intend on getting them no matter what!"

Now with Eggman out of the fight, it left only the two stronger forces. Bowser was at 47 while Ganondorf had 53 left. Vivian looked thoughtful until she shrugged and simply used Fiery Jinx. Bowser and Ganondorf were engulfed in flames and even burned. Bowser let our a growl and stomped over to bite Kirby, but Kirby just grinned, jumped as Bowser ducked, then struck him on the head with his hammer. He stumbled into Ganondorf, who was aiming a blast at Kirby, but the interference caused it to go haywire and fly at Vivian.

Kirby saw what was about to happen and yelped. "Augh!"

Again, he dove at just the right moment and got Vivian out of the way of the attack. This time around though, he suffered 5 damage. Vivian gasped as Kirby let out a heavy sigh.

"Owwwww…that wasn't pleasant…" he groaned.

"Well obviously! You just took a blast for me!"

Kirby smiled. "Of course…ow…that was like acid!"

As Vivian gave Kirby a single Mushroom to heal the damage Ganondorf dealt, and the duo took a point of pain from the burns, Samus lifted her cannon, and Bowser instantly screamed and ducked in fear.

"No! Not the cannon! Anything but that vile cannon!"

Ganondorf just snorted. "You're afraid of that metallic tube? How pitiful."

Samus shook her head. "Oh no- he has every right to fear this thing…as do you!"

"Yeah right-"

Super missile right in the chest. Ganondorf cringed with pain as Link blew a raspberry. Samus smirked and struck a pose.

"You're just lucky it wasn't a Zero Laser!"

"She certainly has a point!" added Ms. Mowz, slapping Bowser senseless afterward. Bowser lashed out with fire, which didn't harm Samus at all but Ms. Mowz took a bit of damage. Ganondorf charged at Samus with another Warlock Punch, but Samus grabbed his extended arm at the last moment, flipped him, put him in an arm lock, then blasted a beam at his head. His fist pounded harshly into the ground while Samus flipped backward, landed on one hand, did a mid-air somersault, and landed perfectly on both feet and blew the smoke out of her canon.

Kirby eagerly clapped his hands. "Wow Samus! You did a super-guard _and_ a Stylish move! That was so awesome and-hey Link? Sonic? You guys okay?"

Link and Sonic stared wide-eyed and jaw dropped at Samus. Ms. Mowz joined them seconds later. Samus just shrugged.

"Looks like I proved you guys wrong, that's for sure!"

Ganondorf grabbed his head, his neck, and wished he had a third arm for his back. "Urg…didn't see that coming!"

"Ha! You were owned by a girl!" Bowser mocked while pointing and laughing. Ganondorf's hand lit up in anger as he glared at Bowser.

"Shut up before that move is used on you!"

Mario ignored their bickering and called forth the Ruby Star once more. He pointed at Bowser and Ganondorf and traced the Star's path around them several times. Ganondorf tried to reach out and grab it, but couldn't move due to the damage being inflicted upon him. When both had taken 7 away, Mario returned the star to his pocket and had Koops use Shell Slam- he swapped Goombella for him during Sonic's turn. The koopa rocketed into Bowser and Ganondorf for 7 more worth of damage.

"Yeah! What're you going to do about that!"

Bowser swatted at Koops and knocked him down while Ganondorf kicked Mario to the ground.

"Okay…I suppose you can do that…"

Ganondorf punched his fist into his palm. "Yeah…what would you do about THAT?"

"THIS!" yelled Link, coming down on Ganondorf's head with Hack. Ganondorf was still sore from Samus' brutal beating and staggered around a bit. Bobbery used every amount of power he had left to use one last Bomb-ombast. Ganondorf's HP fell under Bowser's, now 10 and 15. Bowser gave a deep sigh while biting Link's arm again.

"Ganondorf…" Bowser wheezed. Ganondorf raised an eyebrow.

"What."

"Not to sound gushy or wimpy or anything…but there's a really good chance we're not going to win. It's been great fighting with you- and the egghead down there…"

Ganondorf said nothing due to being completely stunned. He absent-mindedly swung at Link, who used his shield attack to open a weak point and Superguard against him. Ganondorf was now at 6.

"So, Mario…you still have some fight in you! Not bad!" Bowser stated. Mario gave a macho nod of his head. "This makes it much more fun!"

"Yeah it does!" Sonic called, using Action Chain on Ganondorf 3 times and over killed him. The Dark Lord of Evil and whatnot clutched his arm and kneeled in defeat.

"Eggman…" he seethed under his breath. Eggman, who was still slightly conscious managed to give a reply."

"That's not my name, but I assume you're speaking to me…"

"What were we thinking?"

Bowser roared thunderously, fearing for his 15 heart points of life. Spike used another stylish Ground Pound to sent the brute to 9.

"You wiped out my entire team…" he huffed. "Unbelievable…"

Bowser clawed at Sonic, swatting him the ground but not able to do much else. With a combination of Final Cutter and Shade Fist, Bowser was also no more.

"No! I only got one turn!" complained Samus, now wildly shooting at the lump that was Bowser. Link groaned and manually turned her cannon off. Team Bowser, aka Team B.E.G., was now sprawled out on the ground.

"How could this happen?" moaned Bowser. "It's one thing to fall through a ceiling, but beaten by Mario too…ooh…"

"Well now we can save Team Z.A.P.!" Link exclaimed excitedly. "Hey…Where'd they go?"

"EEEYYYAAHHIII!" "NonononononononononononoNO!"

"That was definitely them!" Sonic cried. "LOOK!"

Grodus had pushed the throne out of the way to reveal a hidden entrance to the true deepest parts of the palace…most likely where the demon was said to be. And Grodus was taking the girls with him. Link unsheathed his sword and ran wildly after.

"Give them back fiend! NOW!"

Sonic made an arm motion for everyone to follow, and they wasted no time in following after them. There were lives on the line at this point!

Meanwhile, Ganondorf stood back up and helped Eggman up too.

"Bowser…there's something we should tell you…" Eggman began. Bowser grumbled and was only able to push himself up in a sitting position.

"What? That we LOST after all that time?"

"No…"

"To be frank, we were using you." Ganondorf stated bluntly. Bowser's pupils shrank.

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, the egg-cranium figured out all the mumbo-jumbo about the Crystal Stars being the equivalent to the Chaos Emeralds and the Tri-Force, but since Sonic and Link already had those in their possession…"

"…we decided to come to your world and trick you into getting them," finished Eggman. "We thought you'd know your way around your own place, instead of us wandering around lost forever…"

"And THAT didn't work because all we got were two fake stars that both broke…" snorted Ganondorf.

Bowser stuck up his nose and folded his arms. "Hmph! And I thought you were lackey worthy! RAGH!"

"That's the other thing…" muttered Ganondorf. "…despite being a complete buffoon, you were kinda helpful…"

"You did save me from being swallowed up by water!"

"And no one has ever said it was actually an honor fighting along my side…"

Bowser stopped looking stuck up and blinked. "Okay…so now what- we gonna hug or something?"

"Nah- we're just going to go home and ditch you." replied Ganondorf. "Perhaps we'll be fighting together someday…just hopefully not anytime soon!"

He cackled as he held his hands out, both gathering dark power forming into orbs. With a thunderous clap, the magic was forced together and erupted in a thousand flames. When the flames died down, Ganondorf was gone. Eggman rolled his eyes.

"Show-off…my method of teleporting isn't so flashy! I used hard-core technology!"

"Wait…before you go…are we, you know…still Team Bowser?" Bowser questioned. Eggman shrugged.

"Only time can tell…only time. Farewell!"

Eggman whipped out a remote and hit the single button, sending light outwards from him. Seconds later the light sucked back in, and Eggman vanished in a tiny speck. Bowser was left alone, minus an unconscious Kammy, staring out into space. His team had left him, and Mario was still running around as fine as ever. The Koopa King glanced over his shoulder, almost wanting to follow Mario, but instead collapsed on his face again and wondered if it all had really happened…

* * *

**"Updates are strictly Fridays unless the next chapter is awesome and/or I say 'Screw it! The week's too long!" ;D**


	77. Awaken the Cataclysm

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 76: Awaken the Cataclysm

Beyond the throne room was a hall with a blue hue. . The way to the very end of the palace was leading down, only lit by flickering torches upon the wall. Mario opened a chest for an Ultra Shroom, then hit the life replenish box to heal everyone up while Link found a Jammin' Jelly, and tucked it safely away. Repelled by fear of what lied ahead, but propelled by the need to save Team Z.A.P., Mario put a hand on the door and took a deep breath.

"Okay, now this is really it…" gulped Kirby.

"Better now than never- open the door, Mario!" Samus ordered.

"I should've brought extra clothes…" whimpered Koops.

Mario pushed the door open and they all assumed fighting stances. Candles surrounded the outer edges of the room, all alit with flame. A high pitched shriek pierced the stillness of the room. Peach had been knocked down by Grodus, since she was the main tool in the plan. Grodus had even offered Zelda and Amy a chance of escape, but they strictly refused and were now staying by Peach's side and trying to keep her awake and alive.

"Too bad for you, Team Mario! You're too late!" cackled Grodus.

"What's happening?"

"Gack ack ack! Look well! In the coffin behind me sleeps the legendary treasure! This tomb holds the soul of the ancient demon, the wielder of destruction…it will possess Peach's body and bring life to the most powerful witch in millennia!"

"Oh, please get up, Peach! Hurry!' Amy pleaded, trying to move Peach.

"I-I can't…he paralyzed me with his lightning…" Peach whimpered. She glanced up at the gaping heroes. "M-Mario…I'm so s-sorry…sending you that map…caused all this trouble, didn't it?"

"It's not all your fault, Peach…" Link trailed. "If we had stayed with you instead of debating over where to go, then you wouldn't have gotten kidnapped!"

"Don't try to pin this on us!" snapped Samus.

"I'm not! In a way, we've all caused this mess…"

"And now we have to clean it up…" added Sonic.

"Gaack ack ack ack! With the power of the demon, I will rule the pathetic worlds! The time has come at last! The world will be mine! Now! Arise! ARISE! My Shadow Queen!"

He pointed his scepter at the coffin, and all the candles' lights went black. The coffin's lid trembled and slid off, revealing a huge amount of power inside. This power was unleashed into the room in the form of a shadowy tornado. A hand gripped the edge of the coffin, followed by another. The hands pulled the entity they belong to out of the deathbed. A shadow demon with long, curly pinkish hair and a huge crown emerged, and she already didn't look happy. The tornado dispersed, leaving everyone to bask in her terrifying wake.

. . .

Darkness filled the skies, and the earth roared and shook…it reached from Rogueport…to Petalburg…to the Boggly Woods, where the woodland creatures stared in fear at the sky…to Glitzville, where the fighters plus Jolene trembled…

. . .

"Who…has called me back?" the Shadow Queen thundered in a dark and ancient voice.

Grodus stepped up a took a slight bow. "It is I, my Shadow Queen!"

"You…very well. Where is the vessel?"

"It is here! This girl that lies before you!"

She looked down to Peach who was positively fear-stricken, and ignored Zelda and Amy shouting to leave her alone.

"Yes…a fine vessel…now…"

The Shadow Queen bent over Peach, causing Zelda and Amy to rapidly hit her with a hammer and plenty of magic.

"Help me!" wailed Peach.

"We're trying!"

"Away with you fools!"

The dark tornado formed again, repelling Zelda and Amy away from Peach and landing not too far away.

"Peach…no!" gasped Amy.

"There was nothing we could really do…"

Just as the Shadow Queen had taken over Peach, everything froze.

. . .

Flashes scattered across the world, followed by massive tremors in places such as Twilight Town, Keelhaul Key, Poshley Heights, and Fahr Outpost.

"What's all this then?" Pennington asked himself, choosing an unfortunate time to take a walk. "Am I to deduce that this is…the end of the world! ?"

. . .

Professor Frankly, locked up somewhere in the Thousand-Year Door, started to panic.

"No…could that dark power have truly awakened? No! This is unthinkable!"

. . .

A final flash revealed a new combination of Peach and the Shadow Queen…Shadow Peach, if you must. It was Peach's shape, but the Shadow Queen's outlook.

"Muh huh huh huh huh…witness my rebirth…my soul is not yet fully accustomed to this vessel…but I will learn to control this body soon enough!"

"Yes, my glorious witch queen…destroy these impudent fools!" demanded Grodus. The Shadow Queen raised an eyebrow.

"Who are _you_ that would command me? What sort or being are you?"

"Huh! What do you mean? I thought you were bound to obey the one that awoke you? Enough of this prattle! Do as I say! NOW! Or I will send you back to the depths…"

The Shadow Queen simply had to move her arms to vaporize Grodus into nothing but a head.

"You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No one commands me."

With another zap, the head was cast away. Shadow Peach's eyes went red for a brief moment before returning to normal.

"My powers are not yet fully restored…but…they will come in time…"

"What in the…" was what everyone was probably thinking before another "My Queen!" rang out. In the corner, Beldam and Marilyn appeared out of the ground while Doopliss jumped in from nowhere.

"They couldn't have came at a worse time…" grumbled Goombella.

"You have returned to us!" exclaimed Beldam.

Shadow Peach actually smiled. "Ahh, Beldam…What ages have passed? So…you are the one truly responsible for calling me back, yessss?"

"Yes, my queen…I searched for a pure maiden that you might inhabit…and as I did, I spread the rumor of a great treasure…then I led the fools who had gathered the Crystal Stars here to open the seal…"

"Yesss…you have fulfilled your duties admirably…"

"I am not worthy, my queen…"

"And who are these…beings…that stand before me?" She asked, a bit repulsed by the sight of Team Mario, plus Zelda and Amy.

"You don't even remember Vivian or whatever?" Kirby questioned as all the partners took a few steps back.

"They do not appear to possess power…but they may be of use. If you become my faithful servants, I will not harm you."

"…what? Do you_ really_ expect us to say yes?" snorted Link.

"You'll make the right choice…won't you?" Zelda asked feebly.

Mario: Refuse this witch!

Shadow Peach nodded. "I see…so you defy me…how…amusing…then, you wretched fools, you will learn the error of your ways! You are foolish to oppose me…yes, and that foolishness…will have to be punished…"

"I've got your back the entire time, Big Blue!" Spike called.

"Kirby, I will follow you to the very end, I swear it!" Vivian trailed.

"There's no way I'm backing down now!" added Ms. Mowz.

"I've still got some fight left in me, Link!" exclaimed Bobbery.

"Mario…I'll be by your side no matter what!" Goombella finished.

"Oooh, I don't want to hurt Peach…" trailed Link. "…but, it's the only way to save her! Right Mario?"

Mario:…yes.

Goombella whipped out her book and started to read up on the Shadow Queen. "Her HP is 150, attack is 4-7/ 6 X 3...defense is a surprising 0, can add 3 attack or defense points and absorb 10 points of your HP."

"Hm, I thought she'd be a lot tougher…" Koops commented.

"Don't let that distract you!" demanded Amy. "Just…beat her and save Peach!"

"Ow…I feel like I've been swallowed by darkness on the inside…" Zelda moaned.

Mario held up a hand, then pulled out the Gold Star for a Power Lift. He charged the Star's power for as long as he could, then resulted in getting everyone +2 attack and +3 defense. The Shadow Queen used her "zap" move to strike Mario down 7 HP. Link Jabbed, not ready to pull out any big attacks yet, but his attack was increased by 2 anyway. Bobbery used Mega Bomb for another good dose of damage. Shadow Peach smirked and simply upped her defense- which was actually a threat. Sonic used Action Chain, and was followed by a Ground Pound from Spike. It wasn't as strong as it could've been, but it still contributed.

"He's such a master…" sighed Amy.

"I just wish we could get up off the ground…" Zelda grumbled.

"She's down to 104 already…" Kirby trailed, trying to be optimistic. Shadow Peach summoned her spirit, and her spirit created several hands to smack Sonic and Spike around.

"Argh! What the heck is this?" complained Sonic. "You never said anything about this Goombella!"

"I didn't know about it…"

Kirby used Mega Slice to get her into the low 90s, while Vivian used a devastating Fiery Jinx.

"High 80s with a chance of HEAT!"

"Ooo-good one!"

The Shadow Queen growled and sent her hand to absorb 10 HP from Vivian. Vivian felt a lot weaker and meekly looked around.

"H-How did she…"

"Ahaha…" She sighed as her health was replenished. "You fools have certainly chosen your demise…"

Samus charged up her cannon. "Yeah, and you're about to go back to yours!"

She shot a Charge Beam at the Shadow Queen, doing extra damage because it was a brighter attack.

"Grr…You'll regret that…" the queen seethed. She sent the thousand hands to pull Samus into the shadows and hit her 3 times with 6 damage each…making 18 in all. Samus gasped and attempted to make repairs while Mario used a pretty strong Spring Jump. Goombella used Multibonk, and the witch had already dipped under 70 HP!

"Hmm…so, you are not weak…maybe you are less useless than you appear…" The Shadow Queen then looked evilly thoughtful. "This body is unfamiliar to me…Yes, too unfamiliar…let me assume my true form and show you real power…"

The Shadow Queen started to float in the air, being surrounded by her true form- the shadow demon with a large crown and long curly pink hair. She glanced down at a rather weak Amy and Zelda as she did.

"You two…you've done nothing but lie there uselessly…the least you could do is assist me!"

Link screamed, "NO!"

The two hands shot out of the ground, taking Zelda and Amy up with them. Shadowy darkness filled their being, and within moments they were possessed too. Zelda had gone from pink to purple in color, and her hair went from blonde to a dark shade of magenta. Amy's eyes were now dark purple rather than jade green, and her reddish dress was currently blue violet.

"Ah, much better…in this form, your attacks are like those of a child to me…you are lucky…you will perish with the honor of having seen true terror and power! Muh huh huh huh huh…"

"It's one thing to possess one girl, but _three_ is definitely crossing the line!" Link shouted. He hacked wildly at the Shadow Queen, but no damage was being done, "Free them! Free Zelda…"

"Back off, pest!" Possessed Zelda hissed, using the right hand to smack Link back to where he was. "Nothing you try now will work! Give it up!"

Bobbery tried to attack- of course, this didn't work either.

"Muh huh huh huh! Is that your idea of an attack? Foolish…"

Corrupted Amy used the left hand to crush Link under a fist, then Possessed Zelda smacked him back into the nearest wall. Shadow Peach's true form's eyes sparkled, hitting Link with a sharp pain of…shock? Lightning maybe? Whatever.

"Nothing works!" Sonic complained after Spin Dashing several times.

"I think we've seen that already Sonic…" snapped Samus. "Now don't lose your cool because were all going to die- I hate that."

Spike gave a weak kick, already knowing they were pretty doomed.

"Now, taste my power!"

Amy's left handed attack was especially painful, and Zelda's right hook stung too. Sonic felt smacked silly, and it didn't help that Shadow Peach zapped him too. Kirby whimpered before hitting her with his hammer, still doing nothing. Not only that, but he was super guarded by Amy!

"Learn to stay away already…you might live longer…" she heckled.

Vivian blasted fire in every direction screaming, "Monster! Monster! Monster!"

"Hmm…what troublesome little pests you are…muh huh huh huh…"

The hands plus Corrupted Amy and Possessed Zelda sank into the ground. Many mini Amys and Zeldas surrounded the audience, and while giggling madly, took out every audience member there AND refilled Shadow Peach's HP to the max.

"Yesss…I have recovered from any slight damage you may have caused earlier…and now…I will punish you for your resistance…"

Link weakly looked back at the team. "Any last words?"

Mario:…we just might actually be screwed.

* * *

**Epic, no? It gets better! And I know you've all been wondering what would happen to Zelda and Amy...I couldn't choose between them getting possessed and a second option...so I used both. You'll see "option 2" in the next chapter! It fits in perfectly, ut at the same time I feel like i've messed something up. But that's just me.**

**Anyway... *dramatic music* The true fight is next week! Woo! *shot for not having some sort of Boss Weekend***


	78. The Shadow Queen: The Great Cataclysm!

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 77: The Shadow Queen: The Great Cataclysm!

"…I will punish you for your resistance…"

Link weakly looked back at the team. "Any last words?"

Mario:…we just might actually be screwed.

"huff…huff…oh man…" wheezed Sonic.

The Shadow Queen clenched her fists. "I will ask you again…will you serve me? If so, I will forgive you for all of this…"

"Yes, Link…join us…you know you want to…" taunted Zelda.

"It'll keep you alive…" Amy snickered.

"I never though Team Z.A.P. would be telling us to cross over to the dark side…" huffed Samus. "I guess I've seen everything now."

"I don't wanna die!" Koops yelped. "Do something!"

"We're not giving up…" Kirby grumbled.

"It's either fight to the end or die trying!" added Sonic.

Mario: Oh yeah!

"You wanna know my answer?" questioned Link. "My answer…is NO!"

"Very well…then you will perish."

Suddenly, a light emitted from Mario, and the Shadow Queen flinched.

"What…what is this?"

The Crystal Stars suddenly arose above Team Mario, everyone watching in awe and wonder. They suddenly shot upwards, headed off to do who knew what at this point.

"They're so bright!" complained Zelda. "…and full of power…"

"I don't like it…" murmured Amy. Shadow Peach just glared at the ceiling.

. . .

In the center of Rogueport where conveniently the noose was, the classic blue light pattern emitted on the ground. The seven Crystal Stars floated in their positions, shining brighter than ever, before floating off to their respective places.

. . .

The Diamond Star landed in Petalburg, where all the koopa residents gathered around, the main three being Koopie Koo, Koops' dad, and the mayor.

"Hmm, now? What's this shiny thing?" the old coot wondered.

Koops' dad strolled up and gasped. "Mayor! It's the Crystal Star! But I thought Mario had this thing…"

"I wonder, kids, if this is related to the sky getting dark and whatnot…"

"hmmm…you may be right, but I don't know. But if anything's happened to my boy Koops and Mario…"

"Oh dear…" stated Koopie Koo. "Koops…you're OK? Right? You promised me you'd come back okay…"

. . .

The Emerald Star landed at the base of the Great Tree, where the Punies were already conveniently gathered.

"Whoa! The Crystal Star!" shouted Punio.

"What in the world? What's that doing here?" the Elder pondered. "This very mysterious…yes, a mystery at that…"

"Snap out of it, Elder!"

"Brother! Mario's in trouble!" piped up Petuni. "That's what the Crystal Star is here to tell us! I just KNOW it!"

"What? Could it be…hey, you're right Petuni! I can…I can hear it! The Crystal Star is speaking to us! Its telling us that Mario is fighting to save the world! And he's in deep trouble…"

"Mario! Flurrie! C'mon! Don't give up!"

"Yeah! You can do it, guys!"

"Do it for that Zelda girl!"

The Emerald Star received all the shout-outs of "Keep fighting!"

. . .

In Glitzville, the Gold Star was already there receiving its praise. Jolene had gathered everyone and started speaking to it.

"Gonzales…I mean, Mario…I know you're fighting far away right now. For us…for all of us…This Crystal Star has told us of your last, brave stand…Maybe we can't do much to help you…but we're thinking of you. All our wishes are for you…for your victory…"

Rawk Hawk pointed to no one in particular. "Listen to me, Blue Blur! Anyone who's beat me is not allowed to lose!"

"That's right!" called one of the Twins. "You! Star! Tell that shrimp that neat us to never give in! FIIIIGHT!"

"We're sendin' you all our strength, G-man! You feeling the love, my man? GONZALES!"

"Fight on, Mario and Sonic…"

. . .

"Don't you give up Mario!" the woman with three children plus Freddie and Mayor Dour told the Ruby Star in Twilight Town.

"Yeah! Never give in!" "Yes! Believe in yourself!"

"Mario, you may feel like its going rough…like the tides have shifted against you…" Freddie trailed. "but if you lose, the world will be plunged into darkness forever…please, don't give in."

"Vivian was her name, right?" asked the mother. "I'm a bit worried about the girl that was with Mario…she seemed so innocent…"

"Yeah, that puff Kirby didn't do any wrong either!" Freddie added.

"They'll be fine, all of you." interrupted Dour. "Mario and Kirby will never give up. They will stand true. I…I still remember how easily they took care of that monster who had cursed us. We must have faith in them this time. We must believe…that light will return to our world…"

Despite the fact it was "Twilight" Town…

. . .

The pirates still on Keelhaul Key also gave their hopes and pleas through the Sapphire Star.

"Mario, don't give up!" "Thump 'em!" "You can do it!"

Pa-Patch jumped up and down. "Come on, you bilge pumps! I can't bloomin' 'ear you!"

"FIGHT BOBBERY! FIGHT!"

"Go get 'em!" "Yeah, fight!"

"ONCE MORE!"

"GO! GO! GO!"

"Admiral Bobbery…Show them what a real sea bomb's made out of, mate!"

. . .

"I do hope they're all okay…" Toadles sighed as the Garnet Star appeared in Poshley Heights. The crew from the train ride that actually lived in Poshley Heights was gathered around.

"Do not fear, my dear! Luigi is my finest pupil!" Pennington exclaimed casually. "I'm quite sure he…and Samus…will prevail!"

Toadles folded her arms. "Well, I worry nonetheless. "

"I so hope there is a future where my little Bub can grow and prosper…" sighed Silvia.

"Well then, I suppose all we can is give them a rousing cheer, hm?" Goldbob suggested. "Yes certainly! I am quite sure they can hear us through the power of this crystal!"

"Darn right, Dad!" added Bub. "Go Gonzales! Go get 'em!"

"Mario, you lovely thing…" "Gonzales!" "Go Gonzales!"

Pennington looked around awfully confused. "Huh? M-Mario? G-Gonzales? Not L-Luigi?"

. . .

"We are assembled, Mayor."

"Da…"

The mayor bomb of Fahr Outpost had everyone gather in the cannon area.

"Good work, my comrades. Now, let us do it! Ready and…"

All the bob-omb that were in the cannon were assembled in a square formation and shouted "MARIO!" into the Crystal Star.

"Mario…you can do it…"

. . .

"You go, Bro!" shouted Luigi into the Marvelous Compass. "If I can save that day, then you certainly can! You're you!"

"Show no mercy Link!" added Malon.

"You've never given up before Sonic…" Tails trailed.

"Kirby, you've got a great strength inside of you…" Meta Knight stated. "…there is no way you can lose."

"Blow some things up with that cannon of yours Samus!" yelled Knuckles, pumping his fists. "Team Luigi has your back all the way!"

. . .

Several cheers began to surround the room where the battle was being held.

"Go Goombella!" "Do it, shrimp!" "You go bro!" "Don't give up!" Rock on guys!" "We love you!" "Right on, Boss!" "Hang in there!" "Fight, BOMB!" "Ahoy Admiral!" "Go Luigi…er, I mean…Mario? _And Samus…" _"Yeah Koops!" "Take them down, Sonic!" "My darling!" "Hooray Flurrie!" "C'mon, Vivian!" "Go, everyone!"

"Can you hear them?" asked Vivian.

"I sure can! Wow!" Sonic replied.

"They're sending us our wishes and positive energy…" Goombella realized.

"It's so nice!" bawled Kirby, who grabbed his eyes and started sobbing.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-What? What are these vile voices?" complained the Shadow Queen.

"Hopefully the key to your demise, sister!" Samus shot back. Light seemed to sparkle around Shadow Peach, and everyone stopped basking in the cheers to watch.

"What is this…light?"

It flashed a few times, the Shadow Queen groaning with each blast. Eventually it caused a shatter in the Queen' defense, and Shadow Peach seemed extremely weakened.

"What the?" "How can that be?" chimed Zelda and Amy at the same time.

"Mario…everyone…." a soft voice called out.

"That…voice…" trailed Spike.

"Princess Peach?"

"Mario…I…"

"Wh-What!" hissed the Queen. "You wretched little girl! You dare disobey me?"

"Team Mario…take…take the last of my power…"

Peach's inner will faded slowly as Shadow Peach was forced to heal Team Mario up to the fullest extent.

"You brat! Obey me girl!"

Peach then attempted a last glance at Zelda and Amy.

"You two…shouldn't be punished…for trying to protect me…"

With a even smaller amount of power, Peach expelled the shadow from Zelda and Amy, and they went propelling into the air. Link instantly rolled forward and caught Zelda while Amy landed mere inches away from Sonic.

"Way to catch me, you idiot!"

"Sorry! How was I supposed to know you were going to fly out of corruption?"

"Farewell…Mario…" Peach said in one last whisper, blowing him a kiss and charging up the now returned Crystal Stars to full power! This caused them all to receive their Upgrades!

Link's sword transformed into the Master Sword, and was given the Tri-Force Slash Ability.

Sonic's quills instantly turned up as his blue fur faded to yellow- transforming into Super Sonic!

Kirby just looked around until his Dragoon Rider scooped him up, but this time around received his Star Rod too!

Samus eagerly knew what was coming and nearly screamed for joy when her cannon was now able to handle Zero Laser once again.

Zelda plopped out of Link's arms and gasped in shock when the Bow of Light materialized in her hands.

Amy had absolutely no idea what she was going to end up with, until her quills stood out a little and her fur claimed a yellowish tint.

"Super Amy? Seriously? That's so uncanon…" trailed Sonic.

"I don't care! This is awesome!" Amy cheered quite loudly.

The Shadow Queen clenched her fists and trembled angrily. "Grrr… Very cunning, Princess! But you will not undo me! Know me as your Queen!

"You'll pay for this, Shadow Queen! First you take over Peach. Then, you briefly corrupt us for who knows why, and now…you'll regret what you've done to Peach!" Zelda shouted angrily. "I'll personally make sure you get what you deserve!"

"What, you and Amy are fighting too?" cried Link.

"Well I'm certainly not going to stand around with powerful Light Arrows that could help that that thing down and be come possessed again, am I?"

_Zelda:_  
_HP: 45_  
_FP: 45_

_Moves:_  
_Farore's Wind (6 attack, makes enemy dizzy or user dodgy and gives Zelda an extra turn)_  
_Nayru's Love (No attack, 4 FP, raised defense by a decent 4 points)_  
_Din's Fire (9 attack, 7 FP can burn enemies)_  
_Bow and Arrows- Upgraded to Light Arrows (Big 15 attack, 11 FP paralyzes dark/shadow enemies if successful)_

_Amy Rose:_  
_HP: 40_  
_FP: 50_

_Moves:_  
_Piko-Piko Pound (6 attack)_  
_Low Blow (8 attack, 5 FP)_  
_Temper Tantrum (13 attack, 9 FP)_  
_Super Amy Strike (15 attack, 10 FP, severely damages shadow/dark enemies)_

"Well, I don't mind! More strong attacks to brutally beat this witch with!" Samus cackled, rubbing her cannon with glee.

"You two need partners though…" pondered Kirby. "Hmm…"

Goombella glanced up at Mario. "You wouldn't mind if I go with Zelda, do you?"

Mario: Not at all!

Zelda turned and blinked at Goombella. "Wow! You seem like a smart gal!"

"Well, I don't mean to brag-"

"Oh please don't tell me Goombella is your Soul Partner?" Link wailed. "Oh no…I-I guess its better than Goombario…"

"You have to be nice to me now, don't you?" smirked Goombella.

"Now for Amy…" Sonic started.

"Ooo! Can I have the shadow girl? Please?" Amy practically pleaded. Kirby instantly got defensive and jumped in front of Vivian.

"No, you can't! Go take Flurrie!"

"I don't want that balloon!"

"Hmph! No offense there…"

"Fine! I'll just take the white mouse…"

Samus nudge Ms. Mowz over to her. "Please take her."

Amy patted the anti-thief. "Not as great as special connection as Zelda's partner, but she'll do…"

Mario took Flurrie, since he knew Samus definitely wouldn't want her, and Samus claimed Koops. Right before they started to fight again, Mario gave everyone a Crystal Star.

"But Mario…" Link began. "Only you can use Star Power!"

Mario just winked.

"Oh yeah! You can briefly pass it over to us, can't you?"

Mario nodded.

"In that case, bring it on at last, Queenie!"

"Enough! This ends now…" the Shadow Queen hissed. Mario had passed out the stars to everyone, giving Zelda and Amy the left over ones of Emerald and Sapphire. Link elbowed Zelda.

"You knew, we found that Star in that one place you dreamed about…"

Zelda's eyes widened. "R-Really?"

"Yeah…I'll tell you about it later, since we're fighting a deadly demon right now."

Zelda gave a smile and returned to her spot. Mario restarted the fight with a Spring Jump, doing full 13 damage. Flurrie added to that with 6 points worth with her Body Slam.

"Wh-What…how is it that you can hurt me?" Shadow Queen gasped.

"We have our ways…"

Both hands attacked Mario, then the Shadow Queen used her eye spark or whatever to zap the plumber.

"It's been a long time since I've used THIS!" Link exclaimed.

"And what would that be, dare I ask?" bellowed the Shadow Queen. Link's sword started to light up.

"Something you'll wish you never seen in you life!"

He slashed at her, causing the queen to become trapped in a large Tri-Force. Now unable to dodge or block, Link hacked away, dealing one last pressure-pointed blow to her neck. The Shadow Queen took 17 damage!

Link landed on one foot and spun around with his sword pointed high.

"Ah, I told you!"

Bobbery chuckled at Link's glee before using Mega Bomb, taking 7 from the Shadow Queen and killing off both her hands. The Shadow Queen chose to up her attack to be plus 7 and left Link alone.

Sonic actually gulped. "I really don't want to be hit by whatever she going to do…"

"Just get her, Sonic!" Amy ordered. Sonic made a face and plowed straight into the Shadow Queen, piercing her with light before starting to fly around her rapidly like a firefly. Since she had no hands, she couldn't swat him away and felt several blows to her body until she took 15 damage.

"Your attacks…they are great, I admit…" she huffed.

"yeah, well…what can ya do?" Sonic mocked while break dancing in midair. Spike charged in with Ground Pound, and the duo awaited the devastating attack she was going to conjure up. The stage got dark, but it didn't last. She absorbed the shadow in the room before unleashing it unto Sonic and Spike. Sonic luckily moved fast enough to protect Spike, but suffered 20 damage and sent him down to 30.

"oooo…ow…"

"That was brutal…" Spike seethed through his teeth.

"A-at least you're all right…"

Kirby stomped his foot. "Grr! That makes me mad! MAD! ART ATTACK!"

He held up the Ruby Star, and as Mario supplied him with the power, he circled the star around the Shadow Queen by using his Dragoon. Life was constantly shattered from the Queen, until Kirby's power wore off and she had taken 10 damage.

Link whistled. "That's the most I've ever seen out of that attack!"

Kirby grinned. "I know!"

Vivian aimed her attack at the Shadow Queen, then pointed her Fiery Jinx flames at her. It actually took away 7, to Vivian's pleasant surprise. The Shadow Queen's hand arose from the dead as a bunch of dead hand, that inched over and pulled Kirby into the shadows. His high pitched screams could be heard from under the floor. When returned, his eyes were wide and he was shivering.

"What happened? !"

"You don't wanna know…"

Samus grinned creepily as she readied her cannon. "You'd be pleased to know what I'm going to do!"

"Uh, not really…" Koops sweat dropped.

"YEAH! WHOO!"

Not even the Shadow Queen could protect herself from the dangerous onslaught that was known as the Zero Laser. The bright blue laser pieced through the Queen of Shadow, and after suffering that whopping 20 damage, things weren't looking too good for her anymore…

"What…was that…"

"The Power of Samus Aran, baby!"

"Samus Aran eradicating!"

Shadow Queen tilted her head and zapped Samus to the ground.

"Hey! I didn't even attack yet!" complained Koops.

"I just saved you the trouble…"

"AW WEAK!"

The dead hands began two normal ones again. The left crushed Samus while the right knocked Koops useless to the ground.

"Muh huh huh huh…"

"Muh huh huh THIS!" Zelda exclaimed, summoning Farore's Wind. It did a measly 6 damage, but made Zelda dodgy and gave her an extra turn. She looked positively smug when she lifted the Bow of Light. "Now for some big pain!"

She aimed directly between the eyes, like Samus would have, and launched an arrow of pure light into the Shadow Queen's forehead. The Queen screeched with pain, but oddly she wasn't paralyzed and suffered less damage than she should have.

"What…happened?"

"I think she's got a weak spot somewhere- you not hitting it didn't do much…" Goombella informed before doing a measly Head Bonk. The Shadow Queen grabbed her forehead and moaned like she had a headache.

"Muh huh…you're not getting away with this!"

This this, she lifted her head twice, shocking Zelda twice in a row and sent her tumbling to the ground.

"That…definitely wasn't fair…" she gaped. Shadow Queen just laughed and smacked her twice too.

"There's a lot of revenge going on in this room…" Amy noticed, charging up her Super Power. "…because I'm about to get some too! Let's do this!"

She charged at the Shadow Queen in a similar state to Sonic, but due to never having been in a super form before messed up very badly and only did 5 damage worth. Shadow Queen started flat-out cackling until Ms. Mowz smacked her enough times to get her to shut up.

"Argh!"

She placed her hands about both of them and recover 20 HP and taking 10 away from each of them. Then she raised her attack by 7 once again. Mario was definitely in for it. He held his Diamond Star high before jumping onto it and charging its power. When it hit the max, Mario caused tremors throughout the battle area and drained 8 away from the Queen. Flurrie used Lip Lock-kinda weird- to replenish HP. The stage began to get dark, and Mario knew what THAT meant. He quickly ducked behind Flurrie, and luckily he took no damage at all.

"Glad I could help, Mario…" Flurrie stated blandly. Mario gave a sheepish grin and returned the favor by protecting Flurrie from the incoming hands. Mario then guarded against a now pretty predictable zap. Link spun the Crystal Star on his finger.

"…and now, allow me to show off the awesomeness that is SUPERNOVA!"

The Crystal Star's power charged him enough to start glowing a little, and even raise him into the air. With rapid slashes on his arms, he "carved" a path for the Crystal Star to take, and it quickly sliced away 15 glorious HP off of the Shadow Queen. Bobbery used the turn to give a Jelly Ultra to Link, who nearly fainted with the flavor.

"Muh huh huh huh…you do not know what you have done…"

She made her eyes go red, and Link was shocked 10 HP worth instead of 7.

"Jeez…she really keep zapping us around!" murmured Link.

"We're the only ones who should be ZAP-ping!" Zelda retorted.

"Well, she's almost gone…" Sonic stated. "Just keep hammering!"

He held out the Gold Star to use Power Lift.

"Let the power of Glitzville be with me!"

Sonic focused on trying to get more attack, but defense wouldn't be too bad either. In the end, he upped his team's attack by 3 and their defense by 2.

"Not bad!"

"YES!" cheered Spike, Ground Pounding the Shadow Queen for 9 instead of 6-and it was stylish!

"Urgh…no…it…cannot be!"

She charged her attack and defense by three while the hands went for Spike. Sonic used a stylish Super Spin Dash to take them both out without a problem.

"Yeah, how's that?"

Kirby and Vivian used their turns to fill up the team's HP and FP, then Vivian pulled them into the shadows to protect them from the dark move. Shadow Queen recreated the dead hands, and the turn went to Samus.

"DIE!"

"ARGH! My face is burning! Augh!"

The Shadow Queen's HP was drastically lowered once more, especially with the Power Lift boost, and she was starting to get on the ropes. Zelda pulled out her Emerald Star and wondered what it did.

"…Clock Out?" She called, and a sudden large clock fell onto the stage. She and the Shadow Queen threw it back and forth, until Zelda gave it one last shove and immobilized the Shadow Queen- but not her hands. Since Zelda was still dodgy, she avoided both the slap attacks with ease.

Amy took a deep breath. "I hope I do this right this time…"

"You'll be great Amy!" Sonic praised. This caused Amy to shine even brighter with the yellow aura and made deadly contact with the Shadow Queen.

"Your reign of terror ends here!" she shouted, using her perfected Spin Dash to give the Queen a devastating hit. She was still immobilized, and Amy with her super-speed avoided the hands altogether.

"She can't move you guys! This is a perfect time for our secret move!" exclaimed Kirby.

"LMKSS?" asked Link. "But what about Zelda and Amy?"

"We can make it LMKSSAZ!"

"That's not really want I meant…"

"It'll work anyway!" "Let's do this!" "Time to finish this!"

Samus took precise aim at the Shadow Queen. "You better hope it works…we've never done something that can be screwed up so easily!"

"Can't you trust your own team at least once Samus?" commented Koops. Samus' face darkened as she grumbled something about how Koops should be lucky he wasn't about to be zapped to death before launching her Zero Laser once more.

"Go! GO!"

Sonic and Amy took the cue and flew at the Shadow Queen from all directions. Her immobility began to wear off, but she couldn't move anyway with a scrape from Sonic's spikes and Amy's super kicks and whacks of her hammer. In the midst of the two supers doing massive damage, Kirby flew in on the Dragon and bonked the Shadow Queen several times in the face with the Star Rod.

"Fear the power of a star on a rod! FEAR IT!"

"Yeah, that'll make it scary…"

"Heard that!"

The Shadow Queen began to move again, and with lightning reflexes, snatched Amy from out of the air.

"Every last one of you will suffer and incompetent death!" she roared. The Shadow Queen used her other hand to knock Samus down and pull her into the shadows.

"Amy!" cried Sonic, flying to go help her. Before he had even made it over there, Amy let out a scream and burst into yellow flames, causing the Queen to yelp and let go.

"…and you thought I haven't been paying attention to all your moves all this time!" she giggled before flying in to assist Kirby. Sonic just sweat dropped.

"…Yeah, that's not creepy…"

Link stood next to Zelda and Mario and gave the next plan on action. "Okay. We'll have to change tactics a little since she can move now, and Samus is probably out of commission-"

"I am not…" the bounty hunter huffed, emerging back into the battle. "I'm just scared my cannon won't do as much damage! Tragic, isn't it? And it was so bright and destructive…"

"…anyway, you two remember the plan, and Mario, remember your cue!"

Zelda and Mario turned to each other and exchanged nods.

"Good! I'm going in! Make way, Kirby!"

Kirby gave a thumbs up and flew around to the back of the Queen and continued to whack her in the head while Samus starting blasting weaker and small form of the Zero Laser at the torso. Link charged in, jumped up, and performed Tri-Force Slash once again.

"Grrrrrrr….RAGH!"

A final hack made a weak point in the Shadow Queen, and Link tumbled out of the way as Zelda squared up a Light Arrow with all the light she could muster.

"Get ready Mario…" She whispered while setting her aim. "…you've only got a spilt chance!"

Mario: No problem!

Zelda let go of her fully charged arrow, hitting it dead center in the weak point Link created. The cry of the witch's pained scream was Mario's cue, and he spring jumped into the air.

"Go get her, Mario!" Cheered the partners, now that it was all up to the plumber.

The Shadow Queen feebly reached for the arrow, and Mario hoped he was going to make it in time.

Mario: Wa-hoo!

He did a quick flip in the air, gaining him speed, before using his Ultra Hammer move in the spilt second he was squared up with the arrow to drive it fully in, and replenish the demon from all her remaining HP.

"AAAAAIIIYEEEEEEEE! Impossible…unthinkable…how could I…I cannot be beaten by lesser beings such as these…and I just been reborn into this world…I cannot…I must not…AAAIYEEEEE!"

"My Queen!" "GUUUH!"

The Shadow Queen dissolved into black smoke, leaving the body of Princess Peach sprawled out on the ground. Sonic, Amy, Mario, and Kirby suddenly came crashing down on Zelda, Link, and Samus, and all seven of them lost their super abilities.

"Well THAT was lame…" pouted Samus. "We just land in a pile and lose our powers!"

"Yeah, but we just beat a shadow demon and saved the worlds!"

"How awesome are we?"

"Very at this point!"

Zelda and Amy let out cheers and spun around in a circle. "We actually defeated a final boss! Now we're way beyond kidnapped status!"

Zelda then tackled Link in a hug. "You were pretty great too. To think- because of your move, I set the trap for the final bow!"

Link took her hand and grinned. "Yeah, well…I'm just glad there's no more threat above our heads."

"Sonic! Sonic! Sonic! We're alive and you were so cute flying around like that! Did you see me? I'm a bit rusty, but I'll definitely get better-"

"Amy, if your chatter doesn't kill me, it'll be this death hug of yours!"

"Oops-sorry!"

Samus folded her arms and sighed. "No praise for ol' Samus, as usual…"

"YOU WERE GREAT SAMUS!" Kirby wailed, now hugging her massive shoulder pad. Samus just rolled her eyes, but she did smile a little. Sonic walked over and hit Samus hard on the back.

"Yeah, Sam! You managed not to bring the walls down with that laser of yours!" he boomed. "I, on the other hand, made lots of amazing moves with my super form-"

"Shut up before I use remains of the Zero Laser on you."

"You're welcome!"

Spike jumped on Samus' head and struck a pose. "You need to loosen up a little you, know!"

Sonic pointed and laughed hysterically. "You just got told!"

"Burn!" "Oooo!" "Dissed!" added Goombella, Vivian, and Ms. Mowz.

Mario, meanwhile, glanced down at Princess Peach. The candles surround the area lost their black flames and returned to normal orange ones.

"NOOO! Let's get out of here, Marilyn!" Beldam demanded, already teleporting away.

"Guh-huh!"

"Hey! HEY! Hey, wait!" shouted Doopliss, looking for a means of escape before jumping back from wherever he arrived from.

Zelda and Amy stopped their celebrating to glance at Mario staring at Peach.

"Oh my gosh-Princess Peach!" they cried, quickly running to her side.

"Mario! Guys! Over here!" Zelda started.

"Princess Peach is just fine! She's not even hurt!" gasped Amy. Everyone wasted no time into rushing by Peach's side as she miraculously woke up.

"Mario…" Mario took a step toward her. "So…its all over then…"

Mario: MM-Hm!"

"I'm so sorry Mario…and to everyone. I've put you all in grave danger…and I ruined our vacation…Who knew all of this would happen?"

"That's what I've been saying!" threw in Link. Mario gave Link a weird look before turning back to Peach and shaking his head. Zelda bent down and patted her.

"Don't be so hard on yourself! We don't blame you for anything!"

"It was our pleasure to help!" Kirby chirped. Peach smiled and stood back up on her feet.

"Thank you…all of you…"

The brief moment of joy was interpreted by an old man's "Ah-hah! THERE you are, Team Mario!"

Goombella gasped. "Professor Frankly?"

Frankly strolled in looking ecstatic. "Well, well…can you believe those brutes even came after me, an old goomba? But I still made it here…I was so worried about you, you have no idea! By the look of things though, I guess we're in the clear am I right?"

"Yeah, thanks to the fantastic group known as US!" boasted Koops.

"You hardly did anything…"

"Shush!"

"You kids sure are the real thing, I tell you…"

"What about you though?" asked Vivian. "Are you fine?"

"Yes, I seem to be in one piece too, so all is well. So…without further ado…take a look at this!" He lifted a small treasure chest up into the air dramatically. "I found this n the way! This must be the treasure we've heard rumors on in Rogueport! My theory has been correct all these years! There really WAS a legendary treasure!"

"But I thought the treasure was a lie, according to Beldam…"

"No, don't being me down now! It might be something great! All's well that ends well. Now, how do we get out of this dank place anyway?"

"We'll be happy to lead the way!"

Peach nodded. "Mmmm…let's go home, Mario."

Link sighed and draped an arm around Zelda. "Yeah…I'm still tired of being in this place anyway. Too dark for my tastes! You know, Palace of Shadow…"

"Oh Link…"

As Link started up about how he still needs to be more appreciated, they started the long journey back out of the Thousand Year Door. Another adventure was put behind them, and life would return to normal…for now…

* * *

**Early chapter! And there's still one tomorrow. :D We're wrapping this story up soon! Two chapters left...but let's just bask in the glory that they finally stopped the Shadow Queen. ^^**

**Oh, and a funny thing is, you guys were wondering what "option 2" was...it was simply Zelda and Amy fighting alongside the gang. xD **


	79. The GoodBye of Major Proportions

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 78: The Good-Bye of Major Proportions

Once everyone had emerged from the Thousand-Year Door, they had gathered at Rogueport Docks to say good-bye to Mario and Peach-and Toadsworth-, who decided going home might be for the best.

"So…you're leaving then," Frankly finalized, getting a nod from Mario. "Well, that's too bad…having you around really did wonders for my research!"

"Aw, Professor, we'd never let you monopolize Mario for research anyway!" exclaimed Goombella. "Besides, you said_ I_ could be your research assistant next term!"

"Hrm…yes, that's right. And I thank you Goombella."

Goombella grinned, then turned to Mario. "Mario…even after you leave here, please don't forget about us, all right? And we, in return, will wish that you find all the best in the future. Never ever give up Mario! That's the most important thing I learned from you…Thanks Mario. Just promise me you'll think of me every now and then, OK?"

Mario: All Right!

"Umm…Mario…thanks to you, I've found courage and inner strength. I don't know how to say this, but…I think I like myself more since I've known you…And I feel I've grown closer to my dad. It's all so hard to put into words…" Koops tried to explain. "Oh yeah- Link, you'd better remember me WITH my real name! Promise?"

Link chuckled and nodded. "Sure thing, Koope- KOOPS! Yeah…"

Koops just sighed as Flurrie started up. "My dear, dear Mario…I am ready to make my comeback in the theater now. I've found so many things on this journey that I can only express on stage…and with these new themes…I am so ready for that wonderful spotlight again! Please do come see me once we've finished rehearsing! And bring Peach too, dear!"

"Big Blue…oh, yeah, wait. I've gotta stop doing that. It's SONIC, right?" Spike chuckled as he began his goodbye.

Sonic nodded. "Yeah…it is…"

"Well…you'll always be Big Blue to me! And Gonzales for Mario! And Missing Link for…Link…"

Zelda burst out laughing. "The most macho wrestling name you could get was _Missing Link?_ Oh my goddess…"

"The name is OFFICIALLY going to die now after this point…"

Spike continued. "Because I was born in the Glitz Pit, and the Blue Blur is, and always will be, the champ! So let's meet again, Big Blue! I mean it, man!"

Sonic bent down and patted his Soul Partner's head. "I promise Spike…wow, now I know what its like to be taken away from your Soul Partner!"

"Hurts doesn't it?" sobbed Kirby.

"I don't think it's the same as you and Bow though…but it does kinda hurt…"

Spike just gave a smile and tried to look cool. "…sniff…"

Sonic's smile mirrored Spike's. "Don't go soft on me man…you're gonna make ME cry, and I _never_ cry!"

"I-I'm not crying…I had a sneeze coming on! You know, this sea water…"

Sonic laughed and ruffled his hand in Spikes' hair. "Yeah, whatever kiddo…"

Vivian seemed to get really shy as she glanced at Kirby. "Uhh…Kirby I…I feel…I feel like I've grown to lo-uh, yeah, um, never mind…Y-Yeah, I sure do think you and Bow make a nice couple…_though I've never met her_…I…I'll never forget my time traveling with you. So…don't forget me either."

Kirby started to tremble. "Awwwww that's so _NICE_! I can't take it! I need a hug!"

Kirby nearly knocked Vivian to the ground with a hug almost equivalent to one Amy would give Sonic. Vivian smiled softly and hugged him back.

"Wahhhhh! Why must good-byes be SO SAD!"

As Vivian tried to comfort Kirby, Bobbery began his words. "Well, old boy…it was most agreeable that I had the chance to meet you…if not for you, then my dear Scarlette would still be gazing down on a broken Bob-omb. But now I'm off to see again! I know Scarlette would have wanted it that way…Let's see each other again Mario! And this time, let it be on the high seas, old boy!"

"Well, it is time for us to part, my little cheese hunks!" Ms. Mowz giggled, winking at Mario and Sonic. Amy noticed this, but Sonic had already grabbed her shoulders and kept her back. "But I will not say farewell. Because…you're welcome here anytime. And since you're welcome, you should come anytime you please, sweetie! Now, be careful, and until we meet again…adieu."

"Well, the boat's almost here…" Toadsworth informed. Peach looked out at the other world characters and raised an eyebrow.

"What are you guys planning on doing?" Peach asked. "Will you finish the vacation, or travel to another world, maybe?"

Link sighed. "No…the answer is no to both. On the way back through the Thousand-Year Door…we've been discussing our traveling-"

"-and they concluded that I was right and that we should split for awhile," Zelda finished.

"After that little spat, it turns out we'll be separated any way!" stated Samus.

"Yeah, but this way, it's done peacefully!" Kirby cheered, not detached from Vivian. "I can't wait to see my colorful world again! It's been so long…"

"I hope everything's okay back home…" trailed Sonic. "Knowing my place, something out of the ordinary is bound to happen!"

"…and I get to go back to bounty hunting. Whee." grumbled Samus. "But…I'll be able to bash a few aliens along the way, so I'm happy."

"What're you going to do, Link?" Peach could tell that was what Mario wanted to ask.

"unlike the rest of you, I plan to fulfill a promise I made to somebody…" Link informed, gently nudging Zelda. "There's a certain place I'm going to take her!"

Zelda's eyes suddenly lit up. "You don't mean…the place in my dream!"

Link nodded. "Big time. I thought of you every moment I was there. Trust me Zelda, it's more beautiful in person…"

"Oh Link!"

Peach clapped her hands together. "Wonderful, all of you!"

Mario: Good luck!

"MARIOOO!"

Punio and Petuni suddenly ran into the docks, each carrying a Shroom for Mario and Peach.

"Ah, we made it just in time!" panted Punio.

"Take these with you! We brought them so you'd have something to eat on the boat! Yummy!" Petuni told them.

"Oh yeah…" Punio pulled out an Ultra Shroom and gave it to Link. "I remembered how much you love these, so I made sure to bring one just for you!"

Link quickly took it and struck a pose. "Aw yeah! Another Ultra Shroom for the Link! Now, I just need some Jelly to make some Jelly Ultraz..."

Punio laughed nervously then handed the Shrooms to the duo. They accepted them and Peach laughed.

"Oh, how lovely! Thank you!" she gushed. "Everyone…if not for you, the world would have fallen into a horrible darkness. But your brave hearts strived for peace…and saved the worlds! I don't know how to thank you…but know that the entire worlds are in your debt!"

"What? Nonsense! We're the ones you should be thanking you, Princess!" Frankly exclaimed. "If you hadn't come to our little town…We'd all be puppets for the Shadow Queen and Grodus! The thought gives me hives!"

"Ah! Look! Your highness!" Toadsworth called. "There's the boat!"

Peach sighed. "Is that all you can think about?"

"I'm just eager to get out of this worn down town…"

Peach just shrugged. "Whatever. So…this is good-bye, you guys. To all of you. Good luck getting home!"

"Don't worry- we'll be fine!"

Link grinned and placed a hand on Mario's shoulder.

"M-Mario…remember how we promised to help you teleport?"

Mario: Yes…

"W-Well… the truth is…I don't think its such a good idea anymore. You need a will to leave your world in the first place, but now I've learned that there's no reason to- in any world!"

"But your world alone is wonderful, and if you had left it…well, the spark would be gone!" added Sonic.

"Be grateful that you CAN'T teleport, or you'll end up like us!" Kirby threw in.

"…yeah. You're truly lucky, Mario." Samus finished. Mario just beamed.

"It doesn't matter anyway, since we're not leaving home in a long time anyway…" Amy pointed out. "We'll be too busy becoming reaccustomed to our own worlds to explore more!"

Zelda gasped. "Yeah…that means we won't be seeing each other either!"

"Oh, you're right!"

"That completely slipped my mind, actually…" noted Kirby. "OH! Now I'm going to be missing you all so much!"

"Aw jeez…I think I'll miss you guys too!" realized Sonic.

"Group hug! C'mon, one for old times sake!" Link suggested, spreading his arms.

"Do I _have_ to?" complained Samus.

"Yes. Now get in the god-forsaken hug, Samus."

Samus threw her hands up with an exasperated sigh and simply put and arm around Mario. Link, Sonic, Kirby, Peach, Zelda, and Amy all piled themselves in and exchanged constant whispers of good-bye to each other until Mario and Peach's boat arrived, which Mario had to break the hug to get to. The crowd parted, allowing the plumber and princess to get by.

"Oh, forgive my lateness, sir! I must've dozed off a bit!" called the same driver that took Mario to Rogueport in the first place. "But please come aboard! I'll get you folks back at full steam!"

Mario and Peach gave one last wave of good-bye before entering the small tugboat and sailing back to Toad Town. The crowd at the dock could only watch as their friends sailed away…

. . .

Later, Mario and Peach stood at the back of the boat, watching the day continue to drift on by.

"They are all such lovely people, don't you think?" Peach asked Mario.

Mario: Oh yeah!

"I don't have too many good memories of Rogueport, with the kidnapping and all…but it really is a town full of love for life, isn't it? Mario…I was very frightened when they took me. But…well…TEC was really there for me and helped me through it all. And I knew that you would come to help me as well. I always believe in that…Thank you, Mario. I…maybe I should listen to Toadsworth and behave like a princess from now on…"

Mario: Mm-hm!

Suddenly, the sky went gold, with a blazing sun beating down overhead. Peach looked back at Rogueport and gave a joyful gasp.

"Mario! Look out there! Rogueport's positively shining! It's so beautiful!"

Mario stared at the now golden city, wondering about his friends, ad what would happen to them…because by the sounds of it, it would be awhile before they truly saw each other again…

* * *

***cries* ...it could've been so much better. Or just simply longer... I hope I can make up for it in the epilogue cuz I've got a totally awesome- *muffled silence***

**Anyway, one more week until this story is officially over...which means I'll probably save my long paragraph of story-ending rush for then...and you wanna know what next week on next Friday ALSO is? My two-year anniversary on this site. Makes me feel special. :D**


	80. Where Are They Now?

Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Epilogue: Where Are They Now?

**A few Weeks Later-**

"…Oh, wow, that's crazy, Bro.! You had a pretty rough time of it, didn't you? That's harder than my own adventure!"

Mario and Luigi were sitting at their table, just like they had before both of then were whisked off to their own adventures. Mario had decided to bore Luigi with his own story, but as usual, Luigi was fascinated and looked up to his bro. Mario admitted maybe he should quit falling asleep during people's stories…

"But I guess that now Peach is safe, everything's okay. Really though, how amazing is it that you saved the world again? AGAIN, Bro!…and say, it's been a little while since then. Are you ready for a new adventure?"

Mario just shrugged, but then decided a little action wouldn't hurt.

"Yeah, you the man, Bro! I wonder what everyone who traveled with you is up to?"

As if on cue, Mario's Mailbox SP went off for a final time. Luigi nearly jumped out of his seat.

"Whoa, what was that, Bro? Was that your newfangled mail gadget?"

They jumped out of their chairs so both Bros could see the message.

_Dear Mario,_

_What's up? Goombella here! I'm still here working with Professor Frankly. We beat the Shadow Queen, but there's still tons of Rogueport lore that we still don't get…so, my research with the professor goes on and on. With the info I gathered with you, we have lots of great leads now though! Mario…like I said, every myth has a kernel of truth-_

"Hey! That's what Monterey Jack told me on my adventure…" Luigi recalled. Mario gave him a look. "Sorry! Continue…"

_-Speaking of which, know what was in the chest that the professor discovered? You're totally not going to believe me when I tell you! It's…a secret! Ha ha ha ha! But I'll tell you next time I see you. As part of my research, I did go back to many of the places we visited…and I saw everyone we traveled with too! Koops is living peacefully in Petalburg with his dad and Koopie Koo. And, Mario…guess what Koops wants to do now! He wants to become the mayor of Petalburg and live there in peace! Can you imagine? Still, it might just be perfect for him, come to think of it. He's so much more of an adult now than when you left Rogueport!…still, I think Koopie Koo has his wrapped around her little finger!_

"What do you know? That is pretty cool! I wish I could be mayor of Something…"

Mario: Luigi…

"Sorry! Sorry…"

_Flurrie's back on stage in a big way, and the crowds are totally ecstatic. And, the play she's doing right now is the story of our adventure! Yeah! It's called "Paper Mario"! I saw it twice! It was totally the best play ever! And somehow, Doopliss has joined the troupe as an actor! Who saw that coming? His transformation skill are serving him well, but it still kind of creeps me out…oh, and little Spike? Yeah, he's fighting solo in the Glitz Pit! He says he's even getting pretty close to a title match even! Isn't that just ADORABLE? He's calling himself "The Great Gonzales Jr." in the ring, by the way. It's sorta silly, but kinda cute, don'tcha think? I've seen Sonic in the audience supporting his Soul Partner during an important title match…oh, and I have to get this exactly right or Spike'll get, like, SO mad at me…He uh, said that "he could totally take you in the ring now, so bring it!" I guess he doesn't change…isn't that too cute?_

"Ah, I've always liked Sonic…oh wait, I'm interrupting again, aren't I?"

_Vivian's gone back to hang out with her sisters. Family is important, after all…Now that the Shadow Queen's been defeated, I don't think Beldam's into evil…oh, and Beldam promised me that she'd never be mean to Vivian ever again. Yup, I think the three Sirens are going to live pretty peacefully from now on…but you should so totally go visit her sometime. Bobbery goes out to sea everyday with Cortez…I think his soul has healed. I ran into on accident on Keelhaul Key the other day, which was nice. He was so happy. I thought he was going to blow up in me for a second. You know, I bet Scarlette is looking down on him and smiling right now…Oh, almost forgot…everyone on Keelhaul Key is well and they say hello._

"Longest e-mail ever…"

_Ms. Mowz still runs the badge shop in Rogueport, so she's happy. She comes over to Frankly's sometimes to visit…but, as usual, as soon as she steps out of the shop, she turns into a badge-ninja! She said the other day she had found some super-rare badge, actually. That's our Globe-trotting, mystery-making, flirting, little badge thief, huh? Kirby, I recall, had visited Poshley Heights to receive some pasta and have a chat with Pennington, where he remet with Bow! Cool, huh? I bet he DID blow up with happiness…chances are, he won't be leaving for quite a while. Oh yeah…In my travels, I heard a rumor that both Grodus and Lord Crump were both still alive. I guess that makes them pretty tenacious baddies, huh Mario?_

"This is a pretty tenacious message…"

_But they've mellowed out a lot, just like Beldam has, and I don't expect more trouble. Plus I hear Grodus is just a head, which really cuts down on mischief making. Speaking of miracle survivals…guess whose favorite calculator is still computing? He says he really wants to see you and Peach again! Well, I'm totally rambling at this point so I'd better wrap it up…I just wanna say, even though things got tough, I'm grateful for our time together. And…there is one thing that kind of weighted me and I never got to express to you. See, I…well, maybe that's best kept a secret. So please say hi to Peach for me, okay? Til we meet again!_

_Your Friend, Goombella_

"Hey! That's awesome Bro! Sounds like everyone's doing great over there!" Luigi exclaimed. "Oh, by the way Bro…I remember something kind of important…"

He pulled out a red watch-like device out of his pocket and handed it to Mario.

"It's a communicator, so that you can still talk to the rest of your team- and even mine and Peach's! Except I'll give Peach hers later…" he pulled down his sleeve and revealing the exact same watch, except Luigi-green. "Yeah, I got one too. Tails designed them. He figured that if there was ever a huge universe-wide emergency, we should stay in contact!"

Mario nodded and slipped it on his right wrist.

"Yeah, Malon was supposed to give Link his, Tails was going to give Sonic one, and Meta Knight Kirby's…but we had no way of finding Samus, so Tails made it so we could sync with the communicator with her suit just in case. He's such a clever kid…but remember- emergencies only!"

Mario nodded in understandment, admiring the fancy watch and wondered if he'd ever need it while the SP in his pocket buzzed again. He pulled it out, and read one last line he forgot to read:

_P.S. I have no idea what happened to Link…just in case you were wondering._

. . .

Back in the Boggly Woods, Zelda was leaning against the Great Boggly Tree, half-asleep from the tranquility of the woods, while Link sat not too far from her eating up his Jelly Ultraz.

"What did I tell you, Princess? It _does_ exist!"

Zelda smiled, hiding what she had learned from TEC so long ago. "It's almost like the Sacred Grove…only far better…"

"Yeah..." Link breathed. Not to mention the place was entirely romantic in his eyes. His gaze turned down to Zelda, with the light breeze softly blowing her hair around as she enjoyed the sight. With a small smile, Link reached over and grabbed her hand. "Zelda…"

"Yes Link?"

"...I love you."

Zelda wasn't stunned at the statement. She just gave a light laugh and draped her arms around Link. "I love you, too."

As she rested her head on his shoulder, Link smirked, pulled a velvet box out of his bag, and held it out to where Zelda couldn't see. He turned to the fourth wall and asked:

"Can you guess what I'm going to do?"

* * *

**ZOMG FORESHADOW. And I totally forgot I cut out Peach's part so that it flowed somewhat more with the beginning on SPMX. ...ahem, and I, uh, also forgot to put in a certain cameo... *pelted with rocks because I didn't put in the highly anticipated Kirbow moment* Eh, sorry... It's going to appear next story, however... *cries of disappointment* I have my reasons! And I still forgot... DX**

**With that...this story is OVER! At long last...just a few more weeks and this story will be a year old already! Oh well- it ending today is just perfect. :) My gosh...I feel like I've completely skyrocketed, considering all the positive feedback I have gotten! (600 reviews! Insane! ...well, we're almost there, which will be AWESOME!) I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and I would thank you individually, kinda like last time, but that'd be quite the list... ^^;**

**Last thing: Super Paper Mario X will be posted October 1st! *groans* I just need a little downtime...please bear with me. ^^; But, in the meantime, there's still Paper Luigi X in case some people haven't checked that out/finished it yet. And I'm not just saying that just because- a good dose of what happens in SPMX mainly streams from PLX, plus not to mention the boatload of spoilers...but most of you have already, which rocks. :D**

**Anyway, that's pretty much it...it's going to be weird not updating something every Friday for awhile, that's for sure. But hey, we've got another (hopefully) epic fic to anticipate! Yay! See you guys soon and don't forget the Jelly Ultraz. XD (I still don't know why that line is so popular, but I suppose it is pretty sweet. xD)**


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